Date: Mon, 21 Oct 2002 02:53:56 -0400
From: Herald Buchanan <hede1933@earthlink.net>
Subject: Why Men Bond

Bonding is a uniting of two elements based upon initial contact between the
two, that special attraction much like opposite ends of a magnet, a first
and lasting impression between mother and offspring at birth. It also
incorporates other one-on-one numerous variances extending as far as
binding and/or physical restraint of one living human or animal by another
for reasons ranging from jealousy to fear, and including not always defined
hate or resentments based on jealousy carefully kept hidden by attempts to
conceal the truth. What can be worse than someone pretending to be a friend
only to discover the real truth that he is your enemy robed in garments of
fake pretensions and a false smile to conceal his ready to strike fangs! In
my lengthy and devoted struggling to find that special someone needed for a
bonding I never knew as a child, perhaps the beginning of my plight was
right under my nose without my knowing it.

An egg remaining in a nest of a domesticated chicken after all the other
eggs had hatched and become baby chicks may be completely incubated using
other sources as wrapping the piped egg in a soft towel and placing both in
the warm sun. My personal experience came when my maternal grandmother
presented me with the same task and with instructions for carrying it
out. Shortly after the chirping little puffy yellow covered chick became a
living part of the world as he made his way from the shell, he was looking
to me as the source for food and survival based on an affection that always
accompanies an element of love and/or variations of affection. After naming
the new chick 'Pip,' because of the way nature left him in the shell after
all his siblings followed their mother's every move she made, the bonding
began to demonstrate itself. Pip watched and followed my hand to lead him
to food. Rather than find his way under a mother hen when frightened,
needing refuge from prevailing weather, or a warm place to rest or sleep,
Pip traveled up the leg of my jeans. This special affection continued well
after the chick had become an adult rooster and learning to crow. It was
then when the only parent Chip ever knew had to decide between a chance for
material gain or providing a more appropriate place for an orphaned
creature to call home. The final decision was to sell the atypical pet to a
neighbor to make into a salad for a party for a sum of money to add to my
cache for acquiring later a more appropriate living friend. One day after I
became a man, I would move to a different location even if I needed to
hitchhike to get there to find that ideal object for real male bonding!

Regardless of the many variations presented while the newly born has no
choice, whatever the binding, there always remains an unalterable permanent
and emotionally operative personality complex. If an older sister or
brother shows more affection to the little boy, he begins to substitute
this caring attitude as his true biological mother and sometimes
father. Then when the day comes and his surrogate parent decides it is time
to tell the little boy the truth, the many varied influences this finding
can make on the child's life are only in the beginning stages as a first
act in a life-long drama. While this sort of bonding comes easier when a
bottle is substituted for the natural source, a mother's breast, it is also
the reason the boy continues to suck on his thumb after the bottle is taken
away. Then after constant harassment for reasons ranging from 'you'll ruin
the shape of your teeth' to 'big boys don't suck their thumbs,' the slowly
shaping young man begins to search for another source for bonding.

From a game of marbles in the sand to his first chance to play in a
competitive sport, join other boys in scouts, the YMCA, church and/or
school sponsored activities, it is always that element of bonding that
really forces a young man to make his decisions concerning male
bonding. But by the age of puberty when other decisive factors of male
bonding begin to come along as very influential components of the
decision-making process, his true friends are now more limited with other
boys with things in common like in school related sports, a friendship that
began at the gym, or that one boy who didn't laugh when his friend made an
error.

What can be better than getting reacquainted with that older brother long
after he and you have become an adult and begin to bind again but in
different ways? The new friend sharing many things in common besides age,
physical maturity, sports, fitness, athletic skills, scholastic aptitude,
among so many other decisive factors that are a part of this bonding
process become and usually unintentionally planned that true element that
serves to bind two men eternally. As initial bonding leads to a closer
relationship between two male friends who now share more and/or other than
the common interests as was true for their past, the two men will find a
way to make their relationship remain alive and preferably by sharing the
same location to call home.

His name is that common one shared by many other men in as many various
locations as slight variations of that name. But since upon first meeting
it was more than names, faces, places of origin, or anything remotely
associated with a man's either given or family name that suggested reasons
for wishing to bond with him, my initial meeting with James Edward Jones
was that persuasive device. I was just getting ready to enter the door to a
too long delayed visit to Have It Your Way Gym and Fitness Center when Jim,
he later asked me to call him, asked it was all right for him to come in
just for a place to relax and to get his head back on his shoulders while
deciding what he must do next. Since I failed to recognize Jim as any
acquaintance from the past and at the same time attempting to understand
his true meaning with "what he must do next," I invited him to come inside
with me even if that meant that I would be held responsible for paying the
fee. Good friend and operator, Charlie, far more a real man in many ways
than his common name might suggest, told me it was all right to bring in a
friend before I had time to ask. And to make that exciting news transpire
into something far more beautiful than getting to meet a complete stranger
with very apparent common interests, the real surprise began when Jim
decided to join in the workout but failed to have the usual proper clothes
for the purpose.

Shoes, socks, shorts, shirt, jock strap meant nothing since Jim and I
decided on the stream room followed by a shower over preferences of the
weight room, calisthenics, mechanical exercise equipment, or the added
charge for a massage by a noted masseuse. While there is nothing truly
atypical about one man's noticing another man's naked body, especially in
doing it he notes that the other man is doing the same to him, this time it
was very different since Jim and I were the only men in the steam room when
we decided to go in. The more he explained why he was standing there when I
arrived at the fitness center the more I had no control over a need to bond
with him. Jim was neither an image of a past caring brother, a surrogate
father, nor the first young man that became a good friend. And although his
naked body represented a perfection mine would never match, and his sexual
endowment was reason to make any man take a more intense and lasting than
typical or the usual look, it was that inability to understand that was
deciding for me a reason I needed to bond with James Edward Jones, better
known as plain Jim.

Jim had landed in town in search of a more promising job when he discovered
that he had lost his wallet. And since the first likely place for finding a
likely solution to the job hunt handed him parked near the entrance to the
fitness center, not knowing what else to do or where to go next, that's the
way I found him standing there when I arrived to go inside. Then as each of
us sat naked on a shared towel in the steam room since Jim didn't feel free
to take his own from the table because his visit is free, the stories he
chose to tell about his past had be thinking his need to bond with another
man was coming close to my own. After all, is that not a very important
part of the bonding process, the need to it?

Jim's father was the sheriff of the county in Alabama where he and his son,
Jim were born, died when Jim was only a young and impressionable boy.
Arriving home one evening much later than usual, his wife, Jim's mother
mistook the noise from Sheriff Jones' climbing the back entrance steps as a
potential robber and shot him in self-defense. That never to erase
permanent mental indentation or indelible stamp remained a fixed reason for
Jim's constant search for a security known only by men with common
identities. Was it destiny that brought us two men together as unexpectedly
and the way we just happened to meet? My Navy career really ended before I
was eligible for honorable discharge with the sudden and unexpected death
of my best sailor friend. Is it that special something that comes along
much later than past dreams sought, optimistic hopes, and/or the seemingly
never-ending searching begins to end? The man needed a place to stay while
he tries to correct the reasons conflicting with his search for work.
Without any financial support for acquiring a hotel room to rent and only a
car for transportation until the fuel runs out, what better way for a man
to try to ascertain if this represented male bonding upon first meeting
than to ask the new friend if he might consider sharing the living quarters
with the new friend he seems interested in bonding with?

Like a young boy getting his first bicycle rather than a bigger tricycle,
the wide smile on Jim's face came very close to matching one of the primary
reasons for my considering both to invite him to stay at my place and a
better chance for male bonding if this was where this first meeting was
leading. Any man who insists that sex has nothing to do with male bonding
is either failing to tell the complete truth or he has fallen victim to the
effects of the absence of that much needed bonding at birth. Is it the game
itself that persuades a man to attend a game or a chance to visit the
locker room after the game and see more of the players out of uniform? Is a
contact sport more appealing than a swim meet or bicycle race because of
the many ways the players choose to make the contacts? Perhaps the greatest
reason a man fails to find his true identity or to discovery that very
necessary male bonding is simply his fabricated excuses for failure to
investigate the likely possibilities. Too, this lack of male bonding based
on a lack of truthfulness to one's self reflects in the relationship
between brothers in the Garden of Eden and unknowing why he did it at the
time or that he was marrying his own mother, Jocasta in tale of the sphinx
in Greek drama, "Oedipus." Evidence more than suggests that had he had a
choice, the choice would have been his father, King Laius, wherein a lack
of father-son bonding seemed lacking.

While sibling rivalry may extend well into a man's adult life and serve as
a reason for failure to bond with another man in many situations ranging
from a shared job situation to which all-male fraternity or gym to join,
failure to weight the true reasons incorporated with male bonding brings
problems with marriage, inability for father and son to bond properly as
well as a very likely reason why some men have problems with boss and
employee relationships. While the coach at the gym is likely to comment,
"if Amid Ben Aden had a cock up his ass hole he might learn to understand
other men rather try to destroy them," this writer insists upon maintaining
the dignity this subject deserves. Of course, considering reasons why Coach
never married and why he chose to share an apartment with another coach
might say more than his displaced remark about a terrorist social derelict
with no better way for allocation of his inherited wealth.

If a reader fails to see or to understand a very basic reason for the
necessity of male bonding after viewing James Edward Jones in the nude,
then he is too hung up on past discrepancies with understanding this basic
need as he considers another man no more than simplicity suggested from a
name inherited at birth. And while there is often truth in "beauty is in
the eyes of the beholder," how will any man ever learn the truth about his
own male bonding if he never meets another man in the nude? Like nature
provides with no excuses, man in his natural state will never be
substituted as any likely alternative to man-made bonding as attempts to
replace the real, natural, and virgin quality of life, itself!

Part II- When Choosing to Share Becomes the Real Turning Point in the Lives
of Two Men

On a perfect day in June, a welcoming sunrise adds that special
appreciation for life and living. Then knowing that one man wishes to share
moments like these with another man finds that other man sleeping a very
short distance away is like still believing a dream might come true when it
just did! The only reason I stopped checking on Jim before I succumbed to
inevitable sleep was the simple reason that I saw his bed empty with his
frequent trips to the bathroom that would bring him by my door both on his
way there and on his way back to his room. While very difficult
circumstances in the steam room at the gym were close to irresistible, both
of us naked again and as close as the hallway physically separating us had
me weighing why did I invite Jim here, why did he agree to come here, and
why are we not sharing the same bed? Sex and physical contact promotes
interest in contact sports as much as does the need for male bonding
promotes a perfect atmosphere for its successful existence. While a perfect
beginning of a promising day and that day free from any outside inferences,
a man was in one room unable to sleep from watching a naked friend passing
his bedroom door to and from the bathroom while the man passing by showed
all indications that he was ready and willing to share the same room and
bed if only he could hear welcoming words like, "why don't you come in here
with me so both of us can help solve our pressing problems?"

The task of trying to wake up was followed with breakfast in the nude and
one man looking across a table at his new friend as devotedly as the man
across from him repeat the gesture like looking into a mirror. Reflections
of true life filled the area more than aromas from freshly brewed coffee,
toasted bread, and the freshness of a dewy breeze filter in though an open
window. A simple meal within a natural setting was saying it's all right to
end the contemplation by permitting the actions of true male bonding to
happen with no reservations and in so doing prove why two men who were a
short while ago complete strangers wanted to be together from first
meeting. Some elements of society frown at the idea of two men sharing
their lives together while the truth in a man's soul agrees with the
probability and his hesitations still lie in the missing male bonding since
birth. I felt no more guilt should Joe not push me away in my efforts to
place my mouth to meet the reproduction appendage once hanging before me in
a steam room and now hidden beneath the table where we attempted to bring
nourishment to our bodies while denying our sexual needs. Knowing that Joe
had other important issued on his mind than the more selfish ones
predominating my ability to refocus mine is comparable to or in analogy
with why does a man attending a game of contact sports or go to the gym
instead of yielding to all the natural tendencies that persuaded him to go
there? And while this might appear redundant with the close to frequent
repetitions, what man ever accepts one opportunity for experiencing a great
sexual encounter without anxiously anticipating the next?

I took up on Joe's offer to clean up the kitchen after breakfast for an
excuse to get way for a few moments, and temporarily to deter my
determination to get to know him in a more intimate way. Going outside for
the newspaper was my excuse for searching areas of his car I thought Jim
might have missed in his search for the lost wallet. And while that seemed
as if I was infringing on his personal privacy not to mention that freedom
inherent to all men's enjoyment with a democracy, what I found in addition
to the lost wallet, I placed back close to where I found them, planning
never to mention them unless Jim introduced the subject later. Rushing to
create a believable excuse that my time outside was for no more than
fetching the newspaper became as stupid and impractical as not telling Jim
I had found his wallet. But since so many unnecessary maneuverings were
attempting to hide the real truth, I did need to persuade myself to inform
him about finding the wallet and thinking very seriously about adding the
photos I just happened to see when looking under the seat in search for his
lost wallet.

When I returned to the kitchen, not only did Jim have it looking like new
again, he had poured fresh coffee for both us and asked if he might share
part of the paper with the want ads to aid in his search for a job. While
my handing him the once lost wallet was like an invitation to go to bed
with me from way he reacted at the new and most welcomed news, I was
surprised when his having to know I had searched his car to find it,
instead on my mentioning the pictures, Jim asked out of the clear blue shy,
"you didn't happen to find some pictures I must have lost at the same time
I first missed the wallet in my back pocket. Did you?"

Sure the photos show Jim and another man standing as close together as
their choice of clothing is to nude.  I saw no resemblance to suggest
biological brothers or no signs of any pretentious clandestine methods for
concealing two men in love as a likely substitute for commonly accepted
male bonding. When Jim took them from my hand and after a quick look placed
them beside his cup of coffee before returned to the want ads in the
newspaper, all suspicion with very heavy elements of pure jealousy fled my
selfish thinking as my foot went up to park in the chair across the table
as if Jim was not seated there. Before I could tell him not to worry about
finding a job, that I could aligned align him with a position where I work,
Jim was heading down the hall to a bedroom, pulling me behind with his hand
on my object of his affection.



Part III - A Free Day without Obligations Is Like a Vacation with Pay and
Not Needing to Leave Home

Saturday morning off to a later start, and any man who has been here before
understands why. That is not either to imply or to state to my place for a
visit or over night, save a relative once in a rare time. That is those
multiplicative variations of two men's experiencing a mutual gratification
of a long and suppressed desire until that decisions comes most
unexpectedly and begins to change their lives perhaps forever. While I used
to thing I heard Jim talking in his sleep only to discover that he was just
mumbling on his way to the bathroom, it had to be that he was sleepwalking
most of the night. I did know that was the reason for sleeping later than
usual on Saturday morning. As I did try very hard not to mention this once
Joe showed for what was now brunch instead of breakfast or an early lunch,
his first words over our first cup of coffee suggested that there was more
to my assumption than simply walking in his sleep. But like the snapshots I
found near his lost wallet, I would never mention it to him unless he
brought up the subject. After a cup of two of hot strong coffee, I had
planned to invite him out to the unbelievable brunch buffet at a local
hotel. But when I saw that different than I had ever seen before expression
on his face, I interpreted it as his wondering why there was no food with
our coffee. Little was I to know at the time that his mind was as far away
from breakfast as my assumption about what caused his sleepwalking. Is he
worried about the possibility of finding a job? Does he prefer eating in as
opposed to say a brunch at a hotel dining room? Or where there secrets that
Joe had not yet decided to tell me about himself? However, should he decide
to tell me about the sleeping problem the way he did about why all his
trips to the bathroom, perhaps it was better that I wait instead of asking
questions. Then in an atmosphere of silence save the sounds from the
coffeemaker, a cup being lifted from a saucer, or a spoon for sugar or to
stir either one in, Jim began to speak. I though he might be ready to ask
about the newspaper and had I had difficulty with finding it when I went
outside for it. Damn! All the things a man wants to learn about another man
that he feels sure now is close to a becoming a lasting bond! While
impatience was my major problem, Joe's hesitation was beginning to drive me
up the wall he kept staring at instead of my body or my face.  This time we
were not naked but each of us was wearing boxer underwear with no closure
on the fly. His legs were spread wide as usual, making it easy for me to
see a part of what I experienced the night before. And although this time
we were seated on barstools at the counter rather the table, Jim showed no
indications of trying to look over at the fly on my boxers as if he is no
longer interested. As my impatience along with Jim's procrastination had me
ready to speak first in an effort to break the ice, here came the first
words from Joe more than twenty minutes from the time we sat down for the
coffee.

"Did I disturb your sleep last night?" Jim calmly and politely asked.

"Why do you ask, Jim?" I attempted to substitute modesty for any
overanxious effort toward prying into anything personal that Jim was not
ready to share.

"Don't pretend to be so ignorant or trying to cover over the way you really
feel," Jim went on. "After all, we did sleep together last night. And if I
left the bed for any reason, you would have known."

Thinking at first that his conscience was recalling his childhood when his
mother accidentally killed his father, I decided to continue as if I had no
idea what he was getting ready to tell me. I was both right but not
completely right with this assumption. But perhaps the best way to learn
was to wait until Jim willingly volunteered the information and when he
decided to do it. The new but frightening look on his face as he looked
toward the open window as it the answer to his problem was outside or the
message he was trying to share with me was as difficult to bring out as
travelling into space without an appropriate vehicle. As he turned on the
barstool facing me, I did likewise and faced him with our legs touching,
his inside mine and my instant problem with any readiness to listen went
with the instant erection that brought another visitor though the door to
my boxer underwear. If sexual desire could stay out of the way long enough
to permit one man to share a story about his life with another, I would
already know what Jim is trying to tell me. But on the other hand, without
that natural blessing, there would no male bonding.

"No more hesitations!" Jim announced rather bluntly. "There's something I
need to get off my mind and there's no reason to keep putting it off!"

Of all the many moods that Jim's presence, general actions, body language,
or doing what I wished for without my having to suggest so far, this time I
failed to describe it as well as did I feel completely shocked when he
decided to end the suspense.

Almost in tears until he decided to look into my eyes again and for the
first time this atypical day, those difficult word to say finally came out.

"Shortly after my mother discovered that she had murdered my dad, she tried
to take her own life before calling for help."

There was this closer to complete silence, an absolute and unqualified void
I had never experienced before. As Jim reached closer to me and began to
force me into an embrace, he lifted my body with it, placing the two of us
standing, facing one another with everything touching from our knees to the
lips with his first kiss. I could already detect that there was more to his
story than the last thing he chose to add about his past life as a boy,
growing up in Alabama. However, that could wait even if it meant requiring
longer than the time to tell me.  How could any man afford to interrupt
that first real show of male bonding? Suspense was stale bread to be fed to
the birds. Impatience became something that women do when a husband refused
to jump every time she speaks. And this kind of silence needs nothing added
since a closeness of two men with confirmed affection one for the other
demands nothing more! From the first time I saw Jim and before he removed
his clothes, I knew he is stronger than I am. But when he lifted me
entirely and began to carry me down the hall and back to bed, nothing more
remained to add!

The moment we were near the bed, rather than drop my body to the surface
somewhat like a dad might do with his young son, he lowered me like an
unhatched egg to a the hard floor. As I felt my body touch the bed's
surface as that placed me on my back, here came a big difference as Jim
joined me. Each of his legs rested on the outside of each of mine as his
bent and raise knees supported his suspended frame. Gently permitting his
body to lower slowly brought yet another difficult to describe sensation of
complete ecstasy. As our bodies began to meet from his lips near mine,
chest touching chest, the lower portion of Jim's trunk met that part of
mine as each man's genitalia sealed against the other's. As automatic
erections pressed one firmer against and the full length and thickness of
the other, two pairs of testicles kept tempo with the action as two
celebrating heroic heads on inflated and expanded shafts fired signal after
signal to announce the greatest male bonding in the entire history of
mankind. Within minutes, Jim began to push his body upward somewhat like he
had done earlier when he placed me down. As some of the pleasant sensations
left momentarily with a slight separation of one phallus from the other, I
found my entire body pressing against Jim's again as we now lay side by
side. It was like a greedy feeling with after having won a lottery and
still wanting more. I was the boy that finished one cone of ice cream and
wanting one more, when an understanding gentleman nearby and knowing the
boy didn't need another but gave the money to buy a second one for reasons
he need not explain. It was no second cone of ice cream, nor new bicycle
instead of a bigger tricycle, or breakfast in bed while skipping whatever
might follow the hot coffee. What was beginning to resemble some sort of
glue binding those parts of our bodies together instantly transformed into
that ideal lubricant that forces a stubborn bolt into a tight joint. The
sphincter that once guarded the entrance sprang open like a remote control
on a garage door upon the touch to a small button. Where the energy came
from with both of us missing breakfast after a long and very busy night was
far less a concern than the mind-blowing indescribable ecstasy
following. As the very soothing and gratifying spasms of convulsive moments
entered my emotionally responding body in seemingly unending eruptions of
excrusiating fulfillment, that very similar part of my own reproductive
instrument became much more than ice cream cones, a bicycle to replace a
little boy's toy, waiting for breakfast, or not giving a damn who walks
and/or talks in his sleep. And it also had nothing in common with getting
fucked by a job assignment at work!

Meeting on the street, followed by a grander introduction while naked in
the steam room of a gym, or that first gentlemen's agreement about a place
to sleep for the night were now comparable with the necessity to dress
before leaving for work or locking doors before falling asleep at
night. And if it's really true that the best things in life are free, why
the hell did it take so long for two grown men to find their fortune? After
a long needed sleep for recuperation while the last true expression of male
bonding remained much like a part of my own anatomy, Jim and I decided to
shower separately for reasons needing no explanations before going out for
whatever meal we might choose to call it. While that mutually agreed act
was another example of true male bonding, the visit to the hotel restaurant
became that first test of a man's true devotion to another man. Much like
Jim had already described as a major problem while his growing up with the
many comments about his mature body at a young age and more a nuisance with
other males noting the more advanced growth of his male identifying
genitalia, I seemed more resentful than Jim when a waiter asked if he was a
body builder instructor or a star in a recently released movie about the
world's most perfectly built men. But refusing to permit any hint of
jealousy or any other sign of selfishness get in the way of an otherwise
perfect union known as male bonding, I chose to change the subject rather
to dwell on any distracting deviations.

The restaurant coffee matched the wine in perfection as did the homemade
rolls far exceed the quality of a commercial bakery. But it was when Jim
needed to visit the men's room while I did not feel the need that I was
forced to decide between going with him and faking it or try to remain
composed and wait at the table. Finally, a combination of curiosity and
that damnable innate male trait of jealousy had me in the men's room and
standing at the urinal immediately beside the one where Jim was sanding
with his pants and boxer underwear down below his knees while that same
waiter stood close by as if waiting to use the same urinal once Jim had
finished. The games some men try to play, I was saying to myself as I gave
the young waiter a frown instead of any hint of a smile as I made my way
next to Jim and began to drop my pants and boxer underwear the same as he
had done with his. Was it somewhat like a public place like a steam room at
a gym and chancing that no other man might come in or wanting to touch
another man on his private parts when first meeting on a public street
sidewalk? Unable to control myself longer, as soon as the waiter left the
men's room, I dropped to my knees and not to retrieve any lost wallet. Any
personal feelings of absurdity or admitting a lack of self-control fled
with the first sign of acceptance from Jim as if nothing atypical was
taking place. Then immediately after Jim served me the treat I was seeking,
both of us composed ourselves, washed our hands at the lavatory, and went
back to our seats as if nothing more than usual had ever taken place. Do
tell, Grandpa; is this what you meant when you told me, "a man's gotta do
what I man's gotta do?"

Once on the way back home and denying myself another opportunity to reach
the very short distance between where Jim was seated and where I sat to
drive, we did arrive safely and fully clothed until we were back inside the
house. It was like newlyweds making love and having sex all over the place,
including window facings, tabletops, and one can't sit on a commode seat or
shower without the other's close presence! While sex remained an obsession,
that very deep and never to change bonding between two compatible men was
that innate special male humane mental attribute that persuaded us to allow
time for considering other important issues. A sinking sun signaled the
close of another day, Sunday, with Monday and needing to return to work the
following morning more than suggested the need for retiring earlier for the
night as well as using more of the time in bed for demanding rest and
sleep. Not sharing the same bed would be less a mutual agreement than Jim's
permitting me to save time by skipping breakfast when he is very capable
for creating a meal from past experience as a part-time job at a diner
while a student in high school and as a bachelor living alone after the
deaths of his parents. But it was when we two agreed to go to bed shortly
after a small snack and a glass of milk to compensate for the excessive
calories consumed at the hotel buffet feast that one more truth about Jim
surfaced at the same moment I felt ready to share my body with his.

The stumbling and the many hesitations were signs that Jim both wanted to
tell me something but also was undecided as to how much or was this the
proper time. While we attempted to discuss his driving his car to work with
me to enable him to explore a possible job at the place where I was already
employed, our lying very close in bed and head-to-head became like army
sleeping regulation with a man's having to sleep in the opposite direction
to the man near his bed, head to feet and feet to head. Worse than trying
to talk or laugh with food or drink in the mouth, when both of us reacted
instantaneously with the fruits of love in each other's throats, issues
relating to Jim's finding employment seemed as unimportant as what he might
wear to make a good impression at the job interview. But since this
instantaneous reaction was that sleeping pill that ended any further
chances for sharing ideas about Jim's employment, I hoped the alarm clock
would awaked me on Monday morning in time to make it to work on time and
hopefully a chance for Jim to get ready to accompany me there. The
necessities that must go with life and living must include things like a
source for making a living, housing, food, transportation, utilities, taxes
and more taxes, with pleasures like sexual relief at the end of the
unending list, we two were still faced with the first one regarding Jim's
present status.

Jim's interview ended before my first break to discover that his car was no
longer parked in the company garage. Did that mean he got the job and went
for a change of clothes before starting it? Did he fail to get a job and
got lost in disappointment by returning to the same spot where we first
met? I had reservations with my inquiring at the employment office or
asking another employee more acquainted with company hiring procedures
and/or practices than I am? For once in a very long time, I decided to try
and make it home and back for lunch instead of the usual company cafeteria.
Jim's car was parked to the same spot he left it when I left the house a
few seconds before he followed closely behind to avoid getting lost in an
unfamiliar town. But once I had parked and make my way inside, the place
seemed as empty as it did before Jim agreed to move in. Had he cast his
pearls among swine with me as a greedy pig? Had he decided to end it all
like his mother before him? After desperately searching throughout the
place, checking every room, the basement, the less frequently used den and
back room used for storage in the absence of an attic, I was ready to give
up, skip lunch, and prepare to return to work on time. That was the moment
when while enjoying modern conveniences, the noises that can produces makes
a man willing to do without them. As soon as the air conditioner went off
when the house reached the temperature set on the thermostat, that enabled
me to hear the falling water in the shower down in the guest room where Jim
decided to pass on with his desire to sleep with me. There was not enough
time remaining before I had to be back at work for asking how his job
interview went, telling where he could locate something for his own lunch,
or saying hello and a quick goodbye while allowing sufficient time to get
through heavy traffic and back on the job in the one hours allotted for
lunch break. In spite of all odds and risking a chance to remain a few
minutes more, my selfish and always inquisitive nature persuaded me to open
the bathroom door in hopes of finding Jim totally nude again.

Think of all the times when a man is tempted to call in to work and claim
he is too ill to come in when in reality he has better things in mind than
working all day. The fact that Jim as if he was back at the gym that had no
door, this time in the shower he failed to close the door to the shower
here at the house while he was using it presented less concern for a need
to clean up the bathroom later than this one more opportunity to see Jim
full naked again and this time sporting an erection that only he might know
why. No, I did not call in to say that some unavoidable circumstance like
an accident with my car, finding the house on fire when I arrived home for
lunch although the temptations was trying to persuade against my better
judgement. After I managed to tear myself away from this very tempting
scene, my greater problem upon returning to work would be to try and
explain why the erection in the crotch of my pants. At this stage of
meeting that man created for true male bonding, managing to go back to work
while leaving Jim behind is like giving a woman only a tube of her less
than favorite lipstick when she is getting ready to attend a celebrity
ball!

The four hours remaining compared to a little boy's impatience while
waiting for Santa to come. But worse than that before my work day finally
ended, everything I had ever wanted for any birthday, holiday celebration,
or big meal at Thanksgiving was already only an hour's drive away and
waiting at my house for me to return. First complaint was the unavoidable
heavy traffic making an hour's drive stretch into close to two. A friend at
work needing a ride home and that taking me out of my usual way added more
reasons why I couldn't make it home fast enough. Add to that, most of the
traffic lights on red when I approached an intersection, having to stop
three times to let emergency vehicles have the right of way, and now not
seeing Jim's car when I pulled into the drive at home. However, after
forcing myself not to jump to conclusions again, I waited until I was
inside, stripped down to my boxer underwear shorts again and comfortable
before deciding what to do next. Leaving all my clothes behind in the
bedroom and using the bath on the hall before finding my way to the kitchen
for something to drink, the note Jim left on the bathroom mirror did
explain that his car was being serviced, but it failed to account for his
absence. That's the one moment in all my twenty-eight years when I was
forced to accept things like true devotions like male bonding will never
suffer defeat regardless of any outside influences. How Jim knew the date
of my birthday seemed less important than the way he chose for celebrating
it. Regardless of what past training and/or experience he might have had as
a cook, Jim was too busy with trying to bake a cake for my birthday that he
failed to see me or to hear when I came in. While watching every movement
that was more like a lost drunk naked man searching for his lost clothes
than any cook or chef at any sort of eating establishment. When he bent to
retrieve a dropped item off the floor, one of my hands went for his balls,
while my other supported my weights as I rimmed his most inviting
hair-encircles glory hole. Then like rushing to the oven thinking that the
cake had fallen are ready to burn up, when Jim turned around facing me,
instantly, I began to swallow the better than any ingredient for making any
damn cake! The only reason I took my mouth away is when Jim began to move
as if he needed to do one more thing about baking the cake and I began
tasting more than the familiar manliness of his true male identity and
bonding mechanism. That's when Jim chuckled and the same time I was forced
to laugh. In the hurry between getting his car in for servicing, finding a
ride back home, and trying to get my birthday cake finished before got
home, he had dropped some of the chocolate icing and trying to locate it on
the floor to clean it up before I got home. In the process, he had dropped
some of it on himself rather than all of it to the floor. In other words
some had landed on the head of his penis since it was now most evident that
he prefers cooking in the nude as well as staying that when inside a proper
place for taking that freedom. Beneath the unavoidable laughter, I was
thinking that if his cake with the chocolate frosting tasted anywhere close
to this indescribable added gourmet delicacy of his natural ingredient, we
two could forget about usual and typical jobs and open our own Male Bonding
Bakery!

Jim called to learn when his car would be ready for pickup. And since the
news from that phone call meant that he had a couple of hours to relax
before leaving to pick it up, it also meant that I was free, thinking that
Jim assumed that I would drive him there to get it. First that landed us
two back in the familiar bed for celebrating my birthday before cutting his
homemade cake. While Jim lighted another giant candle up my toaster oven,
one to replace the number of smaller ones representing the years I just
turned in age, I was still craving that special chocolate-covered head on
his natural tasty dessert. Instead of "you can't have your cake and eat it,
too," it was "what goes around comes around," when I turned off my oven
with his cake still inside while proving to Jim that I was a better chef.
Call it stirring up batter, beating eggs before adding to the other
ingredients, or shoving it into the oven before it's ready or before the
oven has reached the proper temperature. Entering his dark tunnel was as
easy as finding him naked in the shower with the door standing open when I
came home for lunch. His reactions were like our discovering the icing that
failed to reach the cake.  That part of him devoured all I could manage to
produce. But the moment Jim sensed that I had completed my business inside
him, it was like party games when he tossed me around like no more than a
box of confection sugar and became winner of the prize for being first to
pin the tail on the donkey. From the toil and aggravation with my day on
the job demanded a little rest before taking him to pick up his car, Jim
was out like the short lasting lighted candle on the birthday cake when the
one celebrating his birthday gets a chance to blow all of them out with one
try. As if settling in for the night after hours of entertainment before
falling asleep all that awakened two well-bonded men was another ring from
the phone. One more outside interference, but like so many necessary
others, we had no choice but to get out of bed, dress, and drive to pick up
Jim's car.

Part IV - It Doesn't Take Columbus to Discover a New World

I waited outside while Jim went in to pay the bill for the service and for
him to come back out driving his car while I would drive behind him on the
way home or he chose to follow me. Here Jim came behind the wheel and ready
to move. But instead of the same used car he took in, his was driving a new
one as if he owned it. While my first idea that his car was not ready for
pickup so they let Jim use one at the dealer while he waited for his own to
be serviced, the way the salesman kept waving and smiling as we two drove
away said otherwise. I followed closely behind as Jim led the way, even
tough I wasn't sure that he had learned his way around yet in a town new to
him. Not only did he prove me wrong with that assumption, I stopped when he
did and that was at a very famous and expensive restaurant, one that I
carefully avoided because of my limited salary. Once inside and seated,
pouring over the menu and trying to decide what to order, over a cup of hot
gourmet coffee, Jim began to explain about his new car before I felt at
liberty to inquire. But how was I to know upon learning Jim's feeling free
to share more of the personal things about him that the story to follow was
a blend of true confessions, his attitude about working at the same
location as I do, plus a few things many men do not care to share?

Jim began with the boss's office where most employee/management disputes
are settled. While I already knew that the only female employee is the
butch-type who serves as receptionist immediately outside the boss's small
cubicle with one desk, one chair for the complainant, plus the pretentious
family photo near the back of the desk and close to that wall, and door
that was always closed and locked during these disputes. I was finding out
why Jim kept advancing at the plant without the supporting performance
rating and in record time before his true confession included his frequent
trips to Mr. Dupe's private office. But after looking around the
restaurant's dinning area to make sure no one else might hear, when Jim
chose not to omit many of the very detailed descriptions of Mr. Dupe's
expressions of appreciation for a job well done, a hint of jealousy got in
my way as an attentive audience when my knee moved under the table
separating him from me with a gentle touch to his now swelled crotch. So
what? I assured myself. How many men find themselves playing around off the
screen while watching a dramatic X-rated movie in a dark theater up on the
silver background? And before the waiter arrived to take our order, in
walked the boss, himself and asked if Jim and I would like to share his
table in one of the restaurant's private rooms. While both Jim and I
ordered the same smallest and less fattening item on the menu, the big boss
was looking for a double serving not listed on the menu. Perhaps in the
past Mr. Dupe had insisted upon interviewing one man at a time, procedures
changed quickly when he was enjoying his favorite entree before the
orders arrived and his choices were between the legs of two of his favorite
employees.

I sensed no resentment or other atypical emotions from myself while Jim's
reaction appeared void of any sign of commitment and surely nothing in
common with true male bonding. Perhaps it was the very different feeling of
two in one receptacle at the same time that prevented any negation. But
when Jim and I presented at the same time this special favor to our
sexually insatiable boss, he was enjoying the rise in his own crotch as
much as the one in pay we two probably could expect to follow. As soon as
Mr. Dupe returned from the men's room for other than the usual purpose both
Jim and I agreed, the rest of the meal went very close to normal, and there
was neither any discussion of the latex manufacturing business nor any of
its employees. As soon and we were ready to leave and waiting for the boss
to pay the bill, he handed a handsome tip to the waiter and added, "I hope
to see you two men again soon either here at this fine restaurant or in my
office at the same time!"

It was then upon leaving the place and telling Mr. Dupe good bye, when Jim
suggested that we find a more private place before he shared more of his
adventures during his very short career at Dupe's Protective Prophylactics.
And since the mutual agreement landed us back at the house we share, what
better area for discussion than the total feel of a freedom than only
nudity can provide along with the complete privacy alone in the same bed!
Jim shared his experiences in Mr. Dupe's office while I took my share of
his better source for communicating below. And with every chance I could
work in with my own encounters alone with Mr. Dupe in his private office,
Jim picked up my conversation the same way I did with his. And if that
failed in any way to pave an excuse for sharing other man-to-man sexual
encounters before Jim and I met the first time, we two were still missing
no intimate details when we both succumbed to deep sleep. Deep where I dare
not share!

Part V - Similar Backgrounds Give Impetus to Present True Male Bonding

That day when Jim was already home when I arrived from work was not only
another turning point in our shared lives, it was the time Jim chose to
share a very special very likely part of a future we two were probably to
share from that day on. I had already seen the envelope addressed to Jim
that arrived in the mail a day earlier. Since a lack of any curiosity or
ever before felt a need for meddling into another man's personal business,
I left it on the table beside the entrance door the same as Jim and I
always did with the other's personal mail. And to be honest, especially
with myself, I couldn't help but notice the return address on this
particular one. However, this time home after a day at work was very
different from all the past ones when Jim failed to welcome me home since
he arrived home before I did. And rather than me making up for that
intimacy by reversing roles with my touching Jim in all the erogenous
places, I had to wait sine Jim was now holding that same envelope but now
open and the contents he chose to share with me not out yet.

"Rather than shocking you with what I thought you might think as bad news
first," Jim began, "by stating that I quit my job today," and I continued
to wait as impatiently as did Jim seem anxious to share his other news. "I
must share this with you."

That's all he said before starting to read from the pages he pulled from
the envelope that arrived in yesterday's mail. A close to perfect specimen
of a real man, standing near me in the complete nude, the man I had shared
my life with for more than three months, and the one who shared a dinner
with our boss and secrets about our visits in his private office ready to
share the greatest secret of his life when I could not concentrate on his
reading for staying glued to certain body features of the reader. Perhaps
"you can't have your cake and eat it, too" might be better stated now as a
complete opposite of any truth to, "two many cooks spoil the broth!" But
since suspense on my part was matching the determination for Jim to share
more than his body with me, I did manage to listen without dropping to my
knees to worship the oral presenter.

"After many years that date back to the time when I was only a boy at ten
years of age, finally here comes the good news I have been waiting for more
than eighteen long years." Jim paused long enough for me to calculate his
age I never learned before, twenty-eight, the indescribable and
exhilarating thrill of my love for mature men caused any anxiety for the
news he tried to share with me far less important than learning some more
very appealing facts about his personal anatomical very masculine self! Jim
was the older brother I never had, the dad that died at a time when I
needed a father image more than ever before in my entire life, and now a
definitely bonded life-long male friend. Add to that a physically perfect
male anatomy, the absolute and undeniable appendage identifying him as a
mature man, the only thing that could lend any negation to Jim's deciding
to quit his job and stay home was that he was in no position to walk away
from mine or Mr. Dupe's private session in his private office, with the
many fringe benefits that entails.

"After years if negotiating between lawyers, politicians, and insurance
company claims adjusters," and Jim paused before adding, "and can you
believe? I won!"

I had felt like a winner since the day Jim and I just happened to meet and
that led to his moving in with me. If he chose to stay home while I worked
and had this place more conducive to giving a perfect male bonding any more
impetus, I had always managed well on my own income and realized no big
difference since Jim moved in. But at the moment material wealth demanded
consideration for him than the better things that go with a great living
mean for to me, the least I could do was to be patent and hear him out.

One insurance company was forced to pay for the suicidal death of Jim's
mother. Since murder of a spouse was not permitted as legitimate cause in a
case in court, another insurer was forced to pay the benefits stated on his
dad's life insurance policy. The house where Jim lived until he was forced
to move out and live with a relative until the case in court was completely
settled, making an increase in real estate value and the monetary funds
from its sale made payable to Jim.  I had never been materialistic before,
never placed simple pleasure above true love, and for sure never, never
confusing anything evidentially authentic with false impressions, fake
pretensions, or dressing like a real man when there's little proof under
the outside costume. But Jim seemed determined to continue to share with
adding the sum of each settlement until the amount exceeded the value of my
home and car when both were new. Then the figures exceeded more than the
cost for a special resort home just for the two of us and/or loners on some
remote island without the worries that accompany so-called civilized living
in an established town. Jim dreamed. I tried to remain practical. Jim took
his clothes off to relax while weighing the many possibilities. And I was
still observing the many benefits we already have with the better ones very
close by.  Why should a man wait for opportunity to knock at his door when
it has already moved in months ago? I had a few more months to work before
I might realize any appreciable retirement income. Jim no longer needed to
work for a living. So, if we two had no problems with bonding upon first
meeting, why change anything, including where to live, refuse to wait a
little longer before making any crucial decisions, or doing anything
different that might alter in any way what seems to be a perfect example of
real male bonding?

While my general disposition had me performing with a behavior usually
associated with a more mature man, Jim seemed to stay busy with counting
his material blessing while I remained devoted to the superior natural
satisfactions of daily living with him. Suggesting that a shared shower
might be that one thing to help bring us two back to reality, Jim's
immediate agreement suggested that he had more in mind than material
wealth, moving out any time soon, or persuading me to change my mind about
staying on longer with my job. "Judge no man by the way he looks" went out
of style shortly after the self-claimed philosopher stated it. Evidently
that hermit replica of a Plato or Nostradamus had never before seen a man
like Jim in the nude. "Give and take" is often suggested advice for
newlyweds. But if Jim could just understand that it was not his material
assets I needed but the ones that had materialized into much better natural
assets over the years. Were we two planing a honeymoon to consummate this
true male bonding? There's better honey than in a bee's comb and two moons
rising at the same time and location beats the hell out of a trip to a
distance pretentious paradise where real devotion is tested with artificial
infatuations!

Part V- The Day the Sun Came Up but Two Bonded Men Failed to Rise Early

Now that Jim had quit his job and I had a few month remaining before I
could make the same decision, Jim asked if I could get off for a few days
to help him move his things from Anniston, Alabama to the house we now
share in Grand Nirvana Hills, Mississippi.

Partial inventory:
[1) An upright piano, 2) a large private library with all the works of
Shakespeare, 3) a family-centered and travel photographs from before Jim
was born up until shortly before he left Alabama in search for what he
claimed a better job opportunity when deep down, like myself, he was
seeking a real male bonding, 4) and everything from his first pair of
outdoor shoes, his first jock strap for physical education at school, and a
secret strongbox that belonged to his dad he found when the old home was
being readied for sale.
                               (Jim's greater assets)