Date: Tue, 21 Sep 1999 08:59:14 PDT
From: "Robert J. Cutter" <cutter57@hotmail.com>
Subject: "WINE COUNTRY" - Chapter 8

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction.  If you are averse to
anything gay, please go elsewhere.

Author's Note: This is the eighth chapter in a novel length work about
Jevin, Nick, Jack their friends and families.  If you have any comments
please, please let me know at my e-mail address: cutter57@hotmail.com.
Take a few minutes and let me know if I should continue this saga.


			       WINE  COUNTRY
		       ----------------------------
	 Copyright 1999 by Robert J. Cutter - All Rights Reserved

The author retains all rights to this story.  It is not permissible to
distribute it to any newsgroups and/or other web sites without the express
written consent and permission of the author.

		    For My Wonderful Aussie Man, Brian


	      Chapter 8 - Of Truth, Revelations and Disasters

On Monday morning Jack Turner made sure he arrived at his auto repair shop
very early.  He wanted to be absolutely positive that he was the first one
there and definitely before his nephew Nick or his secretary/clerk Rhonda
arrived.  He needed privacy today - total, complete and undivided privacy.
Today more than any day in his life he needed to be alone and to think to
be able to think clearly with no distractions.

Actually, to tell the truth, what he need most of all was not to think.  He
needed to force any thought of the Mayfair Grille, Santa Rosa, Jevin and
last weekend out of his mind and to pretend that they had never happened.

He had also decided to get to the shop very early because he knew Jevin
would be calling the house as soon as he awoke.  Jack's telephone had
already rung once this morning and he had not answering it.  He absolutely
and positively did not want to speak to Jevin Wilkenson.

"God!  What a shit-eating fucked up night it's been," Jack thought.  He had
gotten no sleep at all, except when he fell asleep on the floor and that
was from sheer exhaustion.  Pictures of Jevin's beautiful face and body
were constantly threading through his consciousness.  Still, every time he
even said the name in his head, or thought of Santa Rosa or of anything
beautiful, the feelings returned - overpowering
emotions...thoughts...images...dreams.

Jack knew he needed to divert his attention to business matters.  And help
him forget all about Jevin...and the weekend...that fabulous weekend...the
weekend.  He had to find something that would keep him in his office all
day and that would keep him busy; that meant keeping his mind occupied and
away from thoughts of the weekend.

He decided to check the books of the company and the computerized inventory
system.  Yes, checking the books would keep him busy for a good long time -
he wouldn't be able to understand a fucking thing so it would occupy his
time.  Sid Goodman did all his accounting work and that of the business.
Jack could not get into the programs or the files to change them - but he
could look at them and this is what he wanted to do today.  This is
absolutely what he wanted to do today; he had convinced himself of this.

He turned off the ringer on the phone so he would not hear anything that
would be happening in the office.  And check the company records is exactly
what he did - for about ten minutes.  When Rhonda came into her office at
her usual 7:30 starting time, Jack stuck his head in and told his secretary
that he was not to be disturbed short of an severe earthquake.  And that
went for everybody, including Nick.  Rhonda, a local girl who had worked
for Jack since he bought the business, could not recall ever seeing him in
such a foul mood.

Jack sat down at his desk again and thought he'd play one or two computer
games before looking at the books in detail.  He called up a solitaire game
he particularly fond of and began to play.  Suddenly there was a loud
banging on the door - and Jack practically jumped out of his chair - so
great was the shock.

"Uncle Jack, Uncle Jack," came Nick's very loud voice through the heavy
wooden door.  "Uncle Jack, please let me in."  Nick thought it very
strange; he could never remember Jack locking the door to his office
before.

"Go 'way, Nick!" Jack shouted in a very loud voice.  He looked at the clock
on his desk; almost two hours had passed since he had sat down.  "Go 'way!"
he shouted again.  He must have fallen asleep and Nicky woke him up.
"Nicky, please leave me alone," Jack said in a much more civilized tone.
"I need to be alone this morning."

"Uncle Jack, everyone's worried about you.  Please let me in.  Let's
talk...please...let me in."

Jack slowly walked to the door and hesitantly unlocked it.  Nick was
standing there in his work overalls and looked very solemn and concerned.
"Let me get us some coffee, okay uncle?"

Jack just nodded and slowly walked back to his desk.  He turned off the
computer and slumped back in his chair.  Nick came back into the office
followed by Rhonda carrying the two cups of coffee.  Jack was just sitting
without moving.  Nick noticed that Jack had not shaved this morning; that
was so unusual since Jack maintained such a professional appearance at all
times and expected his employees to do the same.

After Rhonda had left, Nick asked, "Uncle Jack, would you...could you tell
me what's bothering you so much?"  Jack just waved his had in a dismissal
movement.  "I'm not going to take that for an answer, Jack.  Everybody's
noticed what's been going on this morning."  Jack looked up with a
questioning and hurt expression on his face.  It was very unlike Nick to
call him just "Jack" without the appellation "uncle".  He was certain that
Nick was extremely pissed at him.

"Jack, there is very little work going on in the shop right now because
everyone is standing around, drinking coffee or Cokes and wondering what
the hell is happening to you.  Are you having a breakdown or something?"
Jack shook his head slowly and, it seemed to Nick, a bit uncertainly.
"Okay, if you're not having a breakdown then what is it?  Are you ill?"
Jack nodded.  "You're ill?" Nick asked with real concern in his voice.
"What is it?"  Jack shook his head.  "You're not going to tell me?"

Jack shook his head again.  He spoke in a very low voice.  "I'm not sick,
Nicky."  He paused and took a deep breath.  "But...but...I do think I'm
having a breakdown."

Nick was stunned into silence.  His mouth dropped opened.  "W-w-w-hat?
You've having a breakdown?  A breakdown?  What in the world has happened?"

Jack turned away and faced a corner of the office looking at nothing in
particular.  He tried to collect himself.  He took a sip of coffee.  "Nick,
when I told you last night that nothing happened...over the weekend I
was.er.lying.  I'm sorry.  Something did...h-h-happen...this weekend
and..."

Nick was silent and wanted Jack to tell the detail at his own pace - he
surmised that it was very painful for Jack to talk about it - whatever "it"
was.  "Okay, Uncle Jack, just take it slowly and easily...and please tell
me what happened...and why it's having such a terrible effect...why it's
taking such a terrible toll on you."

Jack turned to face Nick again, let out deep breath and nodded.  "I met
someone this weekend in Santa Rosa and..."

Just then there was a knock on the door from Rhonda's office; she stepped
into Jack's office without say anything.  She looked at Jack and Nick
sitting across the desk from each other as they did every day at lunchtime.
But this was different; there was a distinct whiff of tension in the air
between the two men.

"Yes, Rhonda, what is it?" Nick asked.

"Excuse me Nick...and Jack...but there is a young man here...uh...outside
the shop and he wants to speak to Jack.  He's very insistent."  Rhonda was
speaking very softly as if she didn't want anyone to hear what she said.
"And he says it's very important."

"Do you know him, Rhonda?" Nick asked.

She shook her head.  "No, I've never seen him before.  He say his name is
Jaime...or Joel...or something..."

"Jevin?" asked Jack in a very shaky voice.

"Yeah, that's it - Jevin!"

"Who's Jevin?" Nick questioned.

"Jevin's the...person...the person I met in..." Jack became all choked up
and could not continue speaking.  He just waved his hand at Rhonda and she
left the office.  "What the fuck is he doin' here?  Why did he show up?  Oh
shit, I was afraid this'd happen!"

"Jack, just take it easy; please, take it easy.  Do you want me to go out
and tell him that..."

"No!  Don't go see him and don't tell him anything!" Jack said very
sharply.

"Okay," Nicky said obviously hurt by Jack's sudden outburst.

Jack looked up at him and tears were running down his cheeks.  Jack started
to sob loudly and his whole body began to convulse with sobs.  Nick could
not remember seeing Jack cry like this since that day...that day...so long
ago now...in the hospital...in the hospital in Davis.  "Oh, Nicky, I did
such a damned fool thing over the weekend.  And I'm in such...trouble
because of it...I'm such an old fool..."

"W-w-what?  What did you do?" Nick inquired with real concern and worry in
his voice.

Jack spoke in very hushed tones, barely above a whisper.  "Oh, Nicky.
I...I think I fell in...in love."

Nick, who had been sitting on the edge of the chair just flopped back and
let out a long breath of air that he had been holding.  He was silent.
Everything was silent; Nick could hear Jack's sobbing very clearly and
insistently.  "Let me understand...get this all straight in my mind.  You
think you fell in love over the weekend."  Jack nodded.  "And this has
gotten you into trouble."  Jack nodded again.  "Falling in love has gotten
you into trouble," Nick said matter-of-factly.  Jack nodded again.  "Uncle
Jack, I think I heard everything correctly.  I cannot understand how
falling in love can get you into trouble.  How?"

"Nick, he's only eighteen.  He's only eighteen goddamned years old."

"All right!  He's eighteen years old.  Honestly!  What's that got to do
with it?"

"I'm forty-two!  Forty-two!  I'm a fuckin' old man and he's only a teenager
- a boy!"

"He's not a boy, uncle.  He's an adult.  According to the law he's and
adult and..."

"Fuck the law!  He's a boy!"  Jack was speaking rather loudly now and with
great determination and emphasis.  "All my goddamned life I try to find
someone who could...who could be a partner to me...for me.  I tried women
for years.almost got married once."  Jack paused here and gave Nick a
strange look.  "And then I tried men, as I'm sure you are well aware of."
Nick looked away from Jack's blazing eyes.  "You know that, don't you,
Nicky?"

Nick slowly nodded his head and looked directly at Jack.  "Yes, Uncle Jack,
I know that."

"So I was with men exclusively and I always wanted to find someone who need
me and that I loved.  Now, that I'm approaching old age, I go ahead and
fall in love with...with a boy!  What a fuckin' joke on me.  It has to be a
cosmic joke; that's what it is!  What an asshole I am!  What a fuckin'
shitheel I am!  And, shit!  What a miserable coward I am!"

They both sat silently.  Neither moved and barely breathed.  Jack would
occasionally sob; he held his head in his hands.  The stillness was almost
eerie.  Nick wanted to say something but was afraid of another outburst by
Jack.  They sat this way for about ten minutes.

Rhonda knocked on the door again.  "Jack, that young man is still here and
says that he has to speak to you."  Jack just shook his head.

"Nick, I haven't the courage to go out and speak to him.  Could you..."

"Uncle, if you'd like I could go out and see what he wants and maybe I can
get rid of him?"

Jack just looked up; his eyes were all red and Rhonda gasped audibly.  He
nodded.  "Nicky your schedule is light today...so why don't you take him to
the house and speak to him there.  I think it'd be better than doin' it
here."  Nick rose and was ready to leave the office with Rhonda.  "Nick,
just try to calm him down and tell him that I'll join you in about...I'll
join you in time for lunch.  Okay?"

"Okay, but what do I say to him?"

"Just tell him that I'm sorry...and that we'll talk about everything when I
get there.  Okay?"

"I guess so...but...never mind."

Nick walked out of Jack's office and into Rhonda's adjacent small office.
"Where is he, Rhonda?"

"He's sitting outside in his car.  It's that red Jeep Cherokee over there,"
she said pointing out Jevin's vehicle.

Nick walked out of the office and slowly went up to the car where Jevin was
sitting and staring straight ahead, as if in a trance.  Nick tapped lightly
on a window and Jevin jumped at the noise.  He rolled it down and looked
quizzically at Nick.  Nick smiled and looked at the young man.  "Jevin?  Hi
Jevin.  I'm Nick Turner, Jack's nephew.  Jack is very busy now and cannot
see you...uh...something about taxes with his accountant."  Jevin look
directly into Nick's eyes.  "This kid looks totally miserable," Nick
thought to himself.  "Would you like to come to the house and wait for him
there?  It's only about ten minutes away and you can follow me.  Jack said
he will join us for lunch.  Would that be okay with you?"

"Yeah, sure, Nick, that would be okay," Jevin said with no enthusiasm in
his voice.  "Are you sure that Jack will join us there?"

"That's what he told me.  I'm the aqua and white Chevy Belair over there -
see next to the telephone booth?  Follow me, okay?"

Jevin nodded and watched Nick walk to his car and get into the automobile.
Jevin followed that classic car to Jack's house.

			----------------------------------------

Nick pulled the Chevy into the garage and Jevin parked his vehicle on the
street.  He got out of the Jeep and walked up to the front door of the
house.  He looked around; it seemed to be a very big place and the front
was beautifully tended and landscaped.  Nick opened the front door and
Jevin went inside.

"Welcome to our home, Jevin.  Jack's and mine.  We live here together.  I
don't know if..."

"Yeah, Jack told me about that."  Jevin looked around the main entrance
hall - it was beautifully and tastefully decorated with skylights letting
in the light.  Jevin turned to face Nick - and for the first time noticed
Nick in his entirety.  He was a very good-looking young man with the exact
same coloring as Jack.  Jevin managed to keep his left arm behind his back.

Jevin noticed that Nick walked with a peculiar gait.  He seemed to be lame
but it was not that.  Then he remembered how leg amputees walked in the
rehabilitation center.  Jevin was sure that Nick was a lower extremity
amputee.  "Nick, are you an...you know, are you...are you by any chance an
amp?"

"Ah!  I see you've finally noticed my...er...condition, Jevin.  Yes, I am.
But how did you know?"

"I remembered from rehab how double leg amps walked.  You've lost both your
legs, haven't you?"

"Yes, both of my legs were amputated above the knees.  Results of a
horrific school bus accident when I was in high school."  Jevin was
stunned.shocked.and a little delighted.  He also found he was absolutely
speechless.  He just stood in that foyer with his mouth opened, gaping and
staring at Nick.  Jevin brought his arm out from behind his back and held
it up for Nick to see.  "Well, Jevin, now I know how you were familiar with
rehab."

Nick undid the belt from his jeans and sat down on a bench in the foyer.
"Here, let me show me my legs."  He lowered his pants to the floor, giving
Jevin a complete view of his prostheses.  "What about you?  How'd you lose
your hand?"

Jevin just nodded slightly; he had still not found his voice.  He swallowed
hard.  "I...er...lost it."  He quickly corrected himself.  "It was
amputated when I was...uh...ten when I was in a bike and truck accident.  I
didn't lose anything - they took it from me!"  Jevin was noticeably
agitated and began rubbing his arm stump through the material of his shirt.
He walked a little close to Nick.  "I have a myoelectric prosthetic hand
but I didn't wear it today 'cause my stump...uh...my stump was scratched
and it's a bit uncomfortable putting it on."  Jevin returned the subject to
Nick's legs.  "Your legs look great and you walk extremely well."

"Thanks.  I'm not the only amp in the family.  When I was in rehab my
youngest sister met a young kid there who had both his arms completely
pulled out by some farm machinery.  Complete bilateral shoulder
disarticulations.  She continued to see him off and on for years.  I never
thought anything would come of it, but they eventually fell in love and now
they're married, live down in San Jose and have three kids."

"So your family is pretty used to having amps around?"

"Yeah, I'd say so," Nick responded.

Nick redressed and led Jevin into the kitchen when he began to prepare
lunch.  Jevin stood next to Nick and helped him as best he could.  He was
amazed and wonderfully delighted at Nick's proficiency in the kitchen and
by his seemingly wonderful, sunny personality.

They spoke while preparing the salad and cold salmon with lemon-basil
mayonnaise.  "I gather you met my Uncle Jack this last weekend?"

"Yes, we met Saturday night at the Mayfair Grille.and we spent the rest of
the weekend together.  It was very wonderful.I loved it a lot and I was so
very happy.  Everything seemed so good and seemed so right and I was sure
it would continue to be..but..."

"I understand, Jevin.  I really do understand completely.  Jack can
be...well let's just say that Jack can be difficult."  They were both
silent again.

"What do you mean by 'difficult"? Jevin asked.

Nick stopped what he was doing and looked straight ahead, staring out the
window.  It was a dark and raw day.  He sighed heavily.  "Let me explain
something.  Uncle Jack was like a father to me; my own father was a real
miserable bastard.  He's Jack's oldest brother."  He paused, remembering
those years in Fresno.  "Anyway, in those days Uncle Jack has a whole
succession of girls friends and we all went everywhere together."

"He told me all about that time." Jevin interjected.

"The really weird thing is that today, this very morning, after all these
years, he finally admitted to me that he is gay."  Nick sighed deeply
again.  "He finally admitted it.  It took him all this time to come out and
finally say it."  Nick looked at Jevin.  "And I think you are the reason,
Jevin."

"I'm the reason?  What do you mean?"

"Well, I think that he may finally be getting...uh...serious about someone
in his life."

Jevin stared opened mouth at Nick.  "Then why the hell didn't he call me if
he's getting serious?"

"Because that's the way Jack is.  He has to analyze everything to death.
He thinks and thinks and thinks instead of going along with his basic
instincts.  Then his neuroses begin to take over and he starts looking at
things from strictly the negative side...instead of from the positive side.
He thinks 'why not' instead of 'why'."

They were both silent again.  "I'm really sorry I created such a problem by
coming here today, Nick; I really am.  But I couldn't help myself."  Jevin
started to tear up and went over to the eating area and sat down.  "I'm so
sorry.  But I had such a miserable night - I didn't sleep at all.  Jack
didn't call like he said he would and I...I...just knew.that there was
something bothering...him and..." Jevin's voiced trailed off into sobbing.

"You just knew what, Jevin?"

Jevin swallowed hard and coughed slightly.  "I just knew that Jack had made
a conscious decision not to call me because he...because...he thinks he's
too old for me."

"Well, this kid has certainly made a direct hit," Nick thought to himself.
"How old are you, Jevin?"

"I'm eighteen."  Jevin was silent except for the sobbing.  He removed a
handkerchief from his pocket, blew his nose and wiped his eyes.  "That's
not too young, is it?  I mean, Nick, why should my age make a difference?
I thought the important thing was that two people were...you know, that
they were compatible...and that they...really liked each other and..."

"That's usually the case, Jevin, but you are absolutely correct; Jack has
developed a very bad age hang-up...and he's had it for a while now.  I
don't know why and he's never explained it to me.  It's just there and I
know it's eating away at him.  He sees everything in terms of age.  He
constantly refers to himself as an old man."

"I'd thought we'd gotten through that...because we discussed it openly and
frankly.  But it's obvious that it's still so very, very big...and it's
possibly an impenetrable barrier between us.  Shit!"

Both men fell into silence again.  Jevin helped Nick set the table in the
beautiful greenhouse-like eating area with some very spectacular views of
mountains and dormant vineyards in the distance.  When both men heard a car
pull up into the driveway, they stared at each other for a few seconds and
then looked away.

Jack walked into the kitchen from the garage.  His head was down and he was
moving very slowly; he was shuffling his feet as he moved.  Jevin stood up
and look at Jack; tears were beginning to form in Jevin's eyes and he tried
desperately to hold them back.

"Lunch is ready, Uncle Jack, if you want to eat now.  Or maybe.maybe you
would like to talk instead."

"Hello, Jack," Jevin said in a very low voice; his voice was tinged with
tears.  "It's good to see you."

"Hello, Jevin," Jack replied softly.  "It's nice to see you too."  He
raised his head and looked directly at Jevin.  It was like an emotional
tsunami.  Both men began to cry uncontrollably.  They sat down at
convenient chairs.  They both continued to cry separately.

Jack wiped his eyes and blew his nose.  "I think I'll eat now, Nick.  I
have to get back to the shop quickly."

Jevin gave Jack a very sharp look that Nick read perfectly.  "Jack, there
is no need to rush.  Things are actually pretty quiet today.  Eat lunch and
then...then relax for a while...and speak to Jevin."

Jack glanced quickly at Jevin and began to eat his salad.  After eating
half the salad, Jack dropped his fork abruptly, stood up and walked quickly
out of the kitchen area.  Jevin and Nick looked at each other; they heard a
door slammed.

Nick rose and went to Jack's bedroom.  He tapped on the door.  "Uncle
Jack...Uncle Jack.  We must - and I repeat - we must talk."

"Go away Nick," Jack shouted from his bedroom.  "I made a fuckin' mistake
earlier today when I let you in my office.  I'm not makin' that mistake
again!"

"Jack, you cannot barricade yourself in your bedroom...or your
office...forever.  You have to...you need to speak to Jevin and resolve
your differences.  But first, you must be able to speak to me and let me
tell you about..."

"There are no differences!  I don't want to see him or speak to him -
that's all!

Nick heard the front door slam - it had such a distinctive sound that there
was no doubt about what had happened.  He walked quickly to the front door
just in time to see Jevin get into his vehicle and drive quickly away.
Nick went back to the kitchen and began clearing away the dishes from the
abortive luncheon.  After he had cleaned up the kitchen and put away the
leftovers he drove to the shop and resumed his work.

		-------------------------------------------

Jevin was feeling particularly miserable on Monday evening.  What a fucked
up day this had been!  He had been totally rejected by Jack - totally!
Nothing was left of a relationship that for little more than a day had held
out so much promise - so much promise and so much hope.

When he had returned to his apartment after the hellish drive back to Santa
Rosa, Jevin just flung himself on his bed and cried.  What was he going to
do now?  He had no idea!  Should he try calling Jack?  NO!  Jack had made
it perfectly clear that he never wanted to see him again...or even speak to
him again.  So much for a plan.

He ate practically nothing for dinner (a few slices of American cheese and
a Coke); he undressed completely and stretched out on his bed.  He was
staring at his badly scratched arm stump and wallowing in self-pity.  "This
goddamned, fucking stump!" he kept repeating over and over to himself.
"What a pathetic excuse of a person I am.  I'm not even whole!"  He knew he
had to snap himself out of this state but he didn't know how.  He had
missed one full day of classes including Professor Pollack's very important
computer lab.

Images of Jack appeared before him and every time he could see Jack's face
clearly it seemed to have a mocking smile on it.  He thought back to the
wonderful weekend they had had together - and the incredible sex they had
on this very bed.  They had done everything in the short period of that
weekend...and everything had seemed so absolutely right...

Jevin realized that he was rubbing his cock and balls with his arm stump,
and that it felt very, very good.  It felt better than very good; it felt
great!  Jevin had never masturbated himself using just his arm stump.
Without a hand, how could he grasp his cock?

But now he had a different feeling; it was so incredibly soothing rubbing
his stump up and down the length of his shaft.  It was equally enthralling
rubbing his dangling balls with that same stump.  Jevin was getting quite
excited and he was basking in the feeling of relaxed excitement that was
washing over his entire body.

He was now ready to try something else; all or nothing, he figured.  He
moved his stump until it was down further and moving around his hole.  It
was exciting; really exciting.  And now he was really getting very hot.  He
kept his arm stump at his asshole and balls and moved his right hand up to
his cack and grasped it lightly.

In this way he was able to bring himself to a shattering climax, the best
he'd ever had by his own hand.  He was panting hard and sweating quite
freely; he really felt great, too.  He had come all over his lower abdomen
and it was starting to feel cool on his skin.  With his hand still on his
cock, but his stump grazing his nipple, Jevin fell asleep.  It was a deep,
satisfying and renewing sleep; one that he desperately needed and had
longed for.

			-------------------------------------------

The ringing of the telephone woke Jevin.  He debated whether to pick it up
or not.  He dreaded the possibility that it could be Nick...or even Jack.

It was very comforting to hear his sister Jennifer's voice on the other
end.  Jen was always ready to listen to his problems and tonight he
certainly had plenty of them.  She also was incredibly intuitive and knew
just the right things to say and the right advice to give - and when to
give it.  He knew that Jennifer suspected that he was gay - it was just
something she once said and how she once made reference to Owen Lyons and
his "lifestyle".

After some preliminary chitchat and the story of Jennifer's latest
boyfriend, she asked, "So, how are things, big brother?"

"Okay, I suppose."

"Are you sure, Jev?  I know that usually means things are really screwed up
or are progressing in that direction.  So give!"

Jevin was silent for a few seconds.  "Jen, a while back you made some
reference to Owen and some of his friends and his lifestyle and I was
wondering..."

Jennifer interrupted.  "Jevin, I'm not going to hassle you or tease you or
do anything else, okay?  But if you are asking if I know you're gay or
suspect that you're gay, then the answer is yes.  Jevin, I think that I've
know you're gay since you were about twelve."

"How did you know?"

"How did I know....how did I know.  That's very difficult to answer.  I
sort of suspected by some of your actions and conversations and interests.
I didn't really know until you began seeing Owen Lyons on a regular basis.
Before that I only suspected."

"Action?  What actions?"

"I don't know.  You certainly did not act effeminate.  But some of the
things you said, your lack of steady friends.at first I thought it was
because of, you know, your hand.  But when you started playing tennis every
week with Owen.well, then I was pretty sure."

Jevin was quiet, then said softly into the mouthpiece, "You're right, Jen.
I am gay."

"There!  That wasn't too difficult, was it?"

"Jen, it's totally tearing me up."  Jevin began to cry.

"Jev, Jev?  Why is it tearing you up?  Nothing has changed!  Absolutely
nothing!  The only thing that has changed is that we're being honest with
each other and things are now in the open.  You are still my big brother
and please, please believe me when I say that I love you as much as ever
and that this makes absolutely no difference in out relationship.  Jev?
Are you listening?"

"Yeah, Jen I am," Jevin muttered through his sobs.

"Okay!  Please calm down and try to tell me what happened this weekend and
why it's having such a terrible effect on you.

Jevin then proceeded to tell Jennifer everything.  He really spilled his
guts and told her absolutely every detail of the things that happened over
the weekend, down to the cute little nicknames he and Jack had for each
other.  Then he told her of the horrible and shattering events of today.
Jennifer listened patiently to Jevin's rantings and tantrums and when he
was through she decided to give him only one piece of advice.

"Jev, I need to say something.  Are you listening?"  Jevin managed to
mumble a "yes" through his tears and bawling.  "Okay, now listen.  Are you
listening?"

"Yeah, I'm listening Jen!"

"Okay.  I've heard what you've told me and the situation is that you think
you think you've fallen in love with this guy.  Despite what he might or
might not have said he doesn't see it that way.  You may see it that way -
that it's love.  But he doesn't.  He sees it as a weekend of fun and games
and now it's over.  He completely believes that he is much too old for you
and that you really do not want him because of his age.  He cannot
understand how you, an eighteen years old boy - and that's what he really
thinks you are, a BOY! - could possibly be interested in him let alone fall
in love with such an old man.  That's how he sees himself - as an old man."

"That's not true Jen."

"Then what is true, Jevin?  Tell me!"

Jevin was silent except for an occasional sob.  Jennifer spoke softly.
"You are a wonderful brother and have always been there when I needed help
or advice.  Now I am giving you some - whatever you had with this man, it
is now over and you need to return to your priorities.  The number one
priority right now is school.  You need to put your full time energies into
your work.  You are so brilliant, Jev, I envy you.  You have a great, great
future ahead; just concentrate on what needs to be done."  She paused
again.  "You know I'm right, don't you?"

"Yeah, you're right, Jen.  You're right," Jevin said in a low voice.  Then
a little louder, "You are completely right!"

"And you're going to concentrate on your work?"

"Yes, it's going to get one hundred percent of my time and energy.  Thanks
Jen.  I knew I could count on you for helping me see things...see things
properly and in the right perspective.  How did my younger sister become so
right and so intelligent when it comes to people and relationships?"

"Well, to start with, I had you as an older brother.  That definitely
helped."

			-------------------------------------------

Jack stayed in his room for the remainder of the day, not even venturing
out when Nick called him for dinner.  He slept, watched television and
paced.  That's what he did most - pace up and down his room.  All he could
think about was Jevin and how he had hurt that wonderful boy.  That was the
crux of the problem wasn't it?  That Jevin was just a boy - an
eighteen-year-old boy.  How could he even think seriously about having an
established relationship with such a young person?

Yet...yet....yet it had been such a satisfying weekend - such an
exhilarating experience.  Jevin had been such a wonderful lover and such a
great person to talk to and be with.  Shit!  Shit!  Shit!  Why did he have
to be only eighteen years old?  Shit!

Jack fell into a fitful sleep of recurring dreams - of recurring
nightmares.

And what nightmares they were!  It was like the scene with the witches in
"Macbeth" where Macbeth goes to the old crones and they show him a line of
kings.  Only for Jack it was a line of his former lovers.  Each and every
one showed up, dressed head to toe in his own peculiar style.  The last one
to come out was wearing a mask, however, and he wasn't dressed at all.
Jack recognized the beautiful body of Jevin and noticed that his left arm
was held behind his back, the way Jack first saw Jevin naked.  Jevin walked
slowly up to Jack and removed his mask.  He smiled a soft, warm smile and
Jack returned it.  Jevin leaned over and gave Jack a soft, warm kiss on the
mouth.

Jevin began to move his left arm from behind his back - and it wasn't an
arm at all, just an enormous knife that grew from his left shoulder - and
he raised it up over Jack's head and brought it down very suddenly.  There
was blood spurting from what had been Jack's head, and there was hair and
scalp and pieces of brain and skin everywhere.

Jack woke up screaming and absolutely terrified!


			   The End of Chapter 8