Date: Sun, 22 Nov 1998 18:26:41 PST
From: author_up@hotmail.com
Subject: Life of Brad Chapter 8

Life of Brad B/b B/B

Chapter 8

Uncle Dave was arrested for raping Ethan.  The entire family was in shock
after finding out what Uncle Dave had done.  "Aunt Linda" could not cope
with life, and overdosed on cocaine.  The Angel of Death had claimed its
first victim.

Her body was sent back to Arkansas for the funeral.  The police began
investigating Uncle Dave, and found another young boy who had been raped by
him.  The trial began about three months later.  The video tapes taken of
us were never found.  We had not found Tommy, and the FBI and a special
private detective hired by my grandparents were searching for him.  The
private detective, Jack Redmann was an expert in finding runaway kids, and
he had connections all over the United States.  No trace of Tommy was
found.

As soon as Tommy ran from his home, he headed for the I 96 expressway, and
began hitchhiking.  He had about $50 in his pocket from gift money that he
was using for school clothes.  It was getting dark when the rusty van
pulled over and offered him a ride.  Tommy's mind was a blur, and he jumped
in the van, not checking to see who the occupants were.  He finally
realized he was in trouble when he looked at the unshaven red neck slime
that had picked him up.  When he saw the guns, he knew he was in big
trouble.  The doors were locked.  He begged for them to let him out of the
van, but two of the men grabbed him and dragged him to the back of the van.
Tommy's worst fears were realized, as he was forced to suck both men.  Then
they both raped him.

Tommy was lying on the floor sobbing when the van pulled over.  The driver
called for one of the other guys to drive, as he wanted his turn on the
boy.  Again Tommy was used and raped.  The three men were all ex-convicts
that had served time in Jackson State Prison for armed robbery.  They had
just robbed a liquor store near Lansing and were headed for Chicago to lay
low.  The man driving the van was laughing and said he knew a guy in
Chicago who would pay big money for Tommy.  Tommy was still on the floor of
the van weeping when they arrived in a seedy part of Chicago at 3:00 in the
morning.

Tommy woke up and heard voices arguing outside the van.  He pulled on his
clothes and tried to sneak out of the back of the van when the door opened
and he saw Hawke for the first time.  Hawke was a seedy looking man, about
6-2, unshaven, and smelled bad.  He grabbed Tommy and pulled off his
clothes to check out the merchandise.  He liked what he saw, but argued
with the red necks about the price for Tommy.

"I'll give you a thousand," he said.

"No fucking way" the leader shouted.  It's five, or we take him to someone
else."

The negotiations continued until they agreed on $2000 cash.  Tommy was
dragged out of the van by Hawke and into the back door of an old battered
building.  Tommy's new life as a prostitute began that night, as Hawke
raped him and injected him with his first shot of heroin.  The shot left
Tommy drifting in a land of peace and tranquility.  There was no pain.  His
body now belonged to Hawke and heroin.  Tommy was kept in Hawke's private
room for about two weeks, where he was taught how to please a man with boy
sex.  Each day his injection was larger, until Tommy was hooked, and needed
the drug to survive the cruel world.

Soon, Tommy was one of 8 other boys sharing a large room connected to
Hawke's office and bedroom.  All of the boys were prostitutes and were
given injections each morning and evening.  Tommy began going on "dates"
with men who were willing to pay Hawke large sums of cash for the
opportunity to use the boys.  Each boy would return from his date with the
cash.  If there were any complaints about the boy not performing the agreed
upon sex acts, they were denied their injection.  All of the cash was
counted to make sure that the boys didn't hold any money back from the
flesh-peddling merchant of Chicago.  Days stretched into weeks.  Weeks into
months.  Months dragged on for Tommy and his life on the dark side of
society.

In another part of Chicago, the three rednecks had held up another liquor
store.  The store clerk tripped a silent alarm, bringing the police to the
scene.  The three rednecks tried to shoot their way out of the store, but
all died in a hail of shotgun and pistol fire from the police.  Another
lead on finding Tommy was lost forever.

Back in Michigan, the Angel of Death circled the Martin family again.  It
had been 4 months since Tommy had disappeared.  Kevin would not talk to me.
If we were together, he would not even look at me.  I was in a deep
depression.  School was in session, and I was failing every class.  I was
forced into therapy.  I hated the shrink, and refused to say a word during
the sessions.  I was having nightmares about Uncle Dave.  Each night I
prayed for the nightmares to go away, and for Tommy to come back home.  It
was October when the Angel of Death took both of my grandparents away in a
car accident.  They were hit by a drunk driver on the highway, and killed
instantly.

All I can remember is that I hated the smell of flowers.  The funeral home
was full of them.  I could not even cry when I saw my beloved grandparents
in their caskets. I was too numb from all of the events of the past months.
All I could remember was that I hated the smell of the flowers.  Sweet
smelling flowers meant death to me.

Uncle Dave was convicted of First Degree Rape of a Minor.  It was a plea
bargaining agreement to avoid having the two boys testify in court.  Their
names had been kept anonymous.  Uncle Dave got 20 to 35 years in prison
instead of life due to the plea bargaining, and was taken away just before
the car accident killed my grandparents.  It was two weeks after their
funeral that the call came in that Uncle Dave had been murdered in prison.
His murderers were never identified.  Dad and Uncle Ben arranged for a
private cremation, and no funeral ceremony was held.

I saw the hurt in my dad's eyes, as he struggled to handle the recent
events.  He was taking medication to calm him down, and pills to help him
sleep.  His electrical business was in trouble, as people started avoiding
buying from him after all the newspaper articles on Uncle Dave were
published.  There was no happiness in the Martin family.

I called Kevin on the phone, but he refused to talk to me.  The next time I
saw him, I begged him to help me tell what Uncle Dave had done to us.  My
nightmares were getting more intense.  I was kicked out of school for
fighting.  I had gone from a straight A student and athlete, to a burn out
failing every class.  I started smoking weed and then scored some crack.
My life was in ruins.  Tommy was gone.  Kevin had told me that if I told
anyone what had happened, he would kill himself.  I tried to contact Derek,
but I got no answer to the phone or beeper call.  There was only one way
for me to go.

The note was very simple.

	Dear Mom and Dad:
	
 	I'm sorry, but I can't go on this way.

	Please forgive me.

	Love,

	Bradley

I left the note on the kitchen table, right next to the three empty
sleeping pill bottles.  I had taken all of the pills, went to my room and
lay down.  The Angel of Death was knocking on the Martin door again.

Mom returned from grocery shopping and put two sacks on the kitchen table.
She saw the note and the empty bottles and screamed.  She tore through the
house looking for me.  A neighbor, Mrs. Stratham, had gone shopping with
her, heard her scream, and rushed into the house as mom found me in my bed.
I was clutching a picture of Tommy, Kevin and me from last Christmas,
holding our pendants together.  The neighbor ran up to my room and felt my
neck.

"He's still alive.  I can feel a slight pulse.  Do you have any Ipecac?"

Mom ran to the medicine cabinet and brought the back of the foul tasting
liquid made for causing children to vomit poison.  She dumped the entire
bottle down my throat, holding me up so it would travel down to my stomach.
Mrs. Stratham dialed 911, as the Ipecac did its work.  I vomited up the
pills, but my pulse weakened.  I stopped breathing, and then my heart
stopped beating.  I remember seeing a warm glow ahead of me.  I was
floating in space, and the warm sun was getting closer to me.  My flight to
the sun ended when Mrs. Stratham started CPR and mouth to mouth
resuscitation on me, as mom dialed the cordless phone for Uncle Ben.  The
paramedics arrived and took over.  I was taken to Ingham Medical Center,
where Uncle Ben was waiting.  The Angel of Death was driven away, as the
doctors brought my body back to life.

The next few weeks seemed to last for months to me.  We still had not found
Tommy.  I was still being forced to visit the shrink.  I still just looked
at him and refused to talk.  I retreated to my room.  I refused to talk to
my parents.  Finally in desperation, they admitted me a special school in
Grand Rapids, where they had an adolescent program for educating difficult
children.  I was probably the worst kid they had ever had there.  I cussed
out all of the staff and refused to do any of the schoolwork.  I was
constantly in fights and destroyed any property that I could.

The school had an area called "lock up" where problem kids were kept under
constant surveillance.  It was not jail, but I was not allowed to leave the
area except for meals and classes.  Someone checked on my every 15 minutes.
I was escorted to and from lock up by an adult staff member.  I guess I
finally got worn down.  I started changing my behavior, so that I was
finally placed in the dorm area with other guys.  Ever since my rape, I
took no interest in sex with guys or girls.  All I did was jack off all the
time.  I remained a loner, refusing to make any friends at the school.

I finally started doing some of the schoolwork, but never really cared how
I did.  I let my hair grow long.  It was long enough that I had a ponytail,
and I bleached the pony tail blonde.  I had spent almost eight months in
that fucking prison school, and was ready to go home.  School had finished
for the kids back in Lansing, and I returned home to my parents.  They
tried to understand me, but I was still pissed at them for sending me to
the school that I continued to refer to as "Prison".  Mom continued to
smother me.  I hated her for treating me like a baby.  Any rule that they
made, I broke.  They refused to accept me as a guy and continued to treat
me like a baby.

I guess, looking back, that my parents did the best they could.  They loved
me, and were still scared about me trying suicide again.  They had lost
Tommy, and they didn't want to lose me.  I was the only child that mom
could ever have, and she was over protective.  I got into drugs again, and
got arrested for possession.  I was put on six months of probation.

It was August.  Mom had been screening my mail and had thrown away letters
from Derek and other friends from camp.  I found some of them, all ripped
up, but unopened.  Earlier I had found the application for Camp Eagle torn
up too.  I was not allowed any privacy or phone calls.  I was still in
prison.

The day I came home with body parts pierced, they lost it.  I had an
earring in my left ear, one through my eyelid, a post in my nostril and
another in my tongue, and had earrings in my right nipple and in the skin
on the top of my dick.  Dad lost it and smacked me.  He never saw the
pierced nipple or my dick.  I got up and just stood there, hoping that he
would beat me to death and I might find some peace.  My entire personality
had changed due to one major incident, the rape.

The punch to my face had dropped me.  I got back up and challenged him to
hit me again.  Dad broke down.  I guess seeing my dad cry did something to
me.  I finally realized that I was punishing myself and my parents for what
Uncle Dave had done to Tommy, Kevin, and me.  I didn't know what to do.  I
just went to my room and looked at the picture of us guys holding our
pendants together, and I cried.  I had tried to cope with reality and it
didn't work.  I had tried to be a total fuckhead, and that didn't work
either.

It was the next day when dad saw me at breakfast, my face still swollen
from his punch.  I wouldn't even look at him.  The tension in the room was
overwhelming.  Mom had been crying too.  She tried to hug me and told me I
was still her boy and she loved me.  I exploded.

"When the fuck are you gonna realize that I am not your baby boy anymore?"
I screamed at her.  "I'm sick of this.  I want out of here and away from
you.  I want someone who will realize that I am a guy now, not a boy, and I
want to be treated like a guy!" I screamed.

"All you see is me as a baby" I continued screaming at both of them.  "You
are smothering me, and I can't take it any more.  Next time I will finish
the job, and I will be dead, but I will be free!"

My words sank in.  They knew I was ready to try to check out again.

The Angel of Death was smiling, circling the Martin house again.

It was dad that broke the ice.  "What do you want from us son?" he asked.

"I want you to let me grow up!" I screamed.  "I'm not Tommy.  I didn't run
away and die!  I'm here!  I want you to let me live my life the way I want
to, and stop babying me!"

Dad continued, his voice was soft.  "Tell us what you want, son, and we
will try it.  We have failed as parents.  We don't want to give up on you.
We still love you, no matter who you decide to be."

"You call this love?" I asked, pointing to my swollen face.

"I'm sorry for hitting you Brad.  I'm human.  I lost control."

I looked at his face, and for the first time since the rape, I saw my dad
open up to me and talk to me like I was a guy, not a boy.  I can't explain
how I felt, but something changed for me that day.  I decided to talk, and
tell them what I wanted.  I still was screaming, not able to control my
anger.

"I want you to stop treating me like I am a baby.  You got me a baby sitter
when I was 12 and you know what?  I fucked her!  I fucked her two times
after I ate her pussy," I yelled.

The shock in their faces told me that I had crossed the line with my foul
talk, but the words sank in for dad.  I was grounded for two weeks for my
foul mouth.  Dad asked if he could talk to mom alone.  I left the kitchen
and ran to my room.  I lay on my bed, exhausted from the argument.  I cried
myself to sleep and the nightmares started again.

I woke up with dad's hand gently shaking me.

"Can we talk, man to man?" he asked.

Now this was a big change.  Either I acted like a man, or like a burnout.
Which one would I choose?

"I guess."

"You have to watch your nasty mouth son.  Your mother loves you and she
doesn't deserve hearing foul language from you.  You're a lot smarter than
you think, Brad.  You have seen our actions better than we have, and we
were wrong.  We did it out of love, but we did smother you.  You are the
only child we will ever have, and we love you.  We still don't understand
the real reason why you tried to kill yourself.  You have put up a wall
between us, and we made that wall even thicker by not trusting you.  We
were scared.  We are human.  We made mistakes.  We don't want to lose you
like we lost Tommy.  I promise to treat you like a man if you act like one.
You tell me what you want from us, and we will do it.  All we ask is that
you treat us fairly.  You owe your mother an apology for your language.
You are still grounded, but I want us to work this out."

My brain was fried.  Here was my dad admitting that he and mom had made
mistakes.  He said "man to man", so I went for it.

"My phone calls have been screened and listened in on.  My mail has been
opened or torn up before I can even see it.  I'm not allowed to have
friends over or even a lock on my bedroom door.  I don't have a computer or
Internet access so I can keep in touch with guys like Derek.  I have no
freedom, no trust."

Dad listened.  Then he told me that I was right.  They had smothered me,
trying to prevent another suicide attempt.  They didn't trust me.  They
were wrong.  He wanted to make a deal with me that they would treat me like
a man as long as I acted like one.  I didn't know if he was being square
with me, but I went for it.

"Deal?" he asked.

"Deal" I said, offering my handshake to seal it.  We shook hands and then
dad hugged me and started crying.  The tears flowed from my eyes too.  He
told me I was still grounded, but he wanted me to open up to him, and he
was willing to help me understand that my parents loved me and wanted me to
be a normal guy and learn to love them and trust them.

The next day was Saturday.  I had apologized to mom, and she accepted it.
Dad asked me if I wanted to go shopping with him.  At first I was going to
say no, but decided to act like a man.  Hell, I was 13 now, maybe not a
man, but for sure I was a guy!

Our first stop was the hardware store where we bought a lock for my bedroom
door.  Dad also bought some telephone wiring and a wall jack.  Next was a
telephone from a discount store.  When we pulled in to the parking lot of
the Gateway Computer Outlet, my eyes opened wide.

"Really?"  I asked.

"Let's do it" he said.

Now I didn't get the top of the line, but dad helped me pick out a neat
computer package with a modem, color monitor, color printer and computer
furniture.  It cost him a small fortune.  His electrical business had
recently returned to profitability.  We got back home and dad and I
installed the door lock and he ran the wire for a telephone from my room to
the telephone box outside the house.  We put together the computer
furniture in my room and hooked up all the computer wiring and turned it
on.  It was fun doing things with my dad.  He told me that my own personal
phone line would be installed in about two days, and that I had the choice
of using the phone or computer on that line.  It was my private line!  The
only rule on the computer was that I could not access anything illegal.  I
agreed.

Things started to change for me.  I started working out in our basement
again, and asked dad if I could go to the fitness club with him again.  Mom
asked me to make a list of the meals that I liked the most.  A mail holder
was mounted outside my bedroom door, and I got all of my mail unopened.
One letter was from Derek, asking me why I didn't come to Camp Eagle this
summer.  He had moved and gave me his new home phone number, his new beeper
number, and email address.  I didn't announce changes I was going to make,
I just made them.  I went back to the tattoo parlor and got all the rings
removed.  I had to use some antiseptic to prevent infection, but was
assured that the holes would heal over with no scars.  I was given an
allowance of $20 a week and used part of it to get my hair cut back to my
original bowl cut style.  I flushed my stash of pot down the toilet.

Nothing was really said about the changes in me.  I just noticed peace in
the house.  My phone line was installed, and I hit the Internet.  I got my
email account set up and made contact with Derek.  He gave me addresses of
other guys I had met at camp, and we began exchanging email everyday.  I
started rebuilding my self-esteem, but still tried to push away the things
that happened the day I was raped.

I found out about the tryouts for the middle school football team, and
asked if I could tryout.  At first mom wanted to say no, but dad reminded
her that he played football, and that he thought it was a good thing.
Uncle Ben gave me the physical, and I tried out for the team.  It was a
week before school started, when I came home with the news that I had made
the football team.  We all celebrated by having dinner at Pizza Hut, my
favorite.

I entered 8th grade that fall, and started studying hard again.  I was on
the football team as a wide receiver and running back.  I was the fastest
guy on the team, and set new school records for rushing yardage and
scoring.  I made the honor roll with straight A's, and life seemed to be
going better for me.  Then I met Todd Evans.

He was new to the school and started during the fall semester, almost at
the end of the football season.  He was tall and lanky and not really good
looking.  Blonde hair, blue eyes.  He dressed differently from the rest of
us, usually with jeans and a flannel shirt.  He was a loner, not by choice,
but because of how our school had social divisions.  Jocks, bandsies,
burnouts, nerds, preppies, ...................

Todd didn't fit into any group.  He was just Todd.  We had a couple classes
together, but never really talked except to say "Hi".  I remember running
from one class to another and turning the corner in the hallway and
blasting right into him.  Our books and papers went flying as we both hit
the floor.  We both got up apologizing, and introduced ourselves.  I saw
his eyes lock on mine, and something clicked inside me.  This guy was not a
nerd.  He was just different.  We both picked up our stuff and ran for the
next class.  At lunchtime, I saw him sitting alone and decided to walk over
and eat lunch with him.  I asked him if I could sit down with him, and his
face lit up.

"Sure" he said.

I felt his eyes staring at me, and I looked up from my lunch.  He looked
away, and tried to pretend that he was not staring.  It happened again and
again during lunch.  He hardly touched the food in front of him.  We didn't
talk much, but I found out his name and where he lived.  He lived only two
blocks from me, and we ended up talking about fishing and sports and
computers.  Todd was really into computers, and he offered to help me fix
some bugs in my system that I was having trouble with and to help me with a
term paper.  I asked him if he was busy after school, and he seemed to jump
at the chance to help me on my computer.

After the last class, I left the school and found Todd waiting for me.  My
parents were not home yet, so we raided the refrigerator and went to my
room.  I was on the keyboard, and he was leaning over me to show me what to
do.  It was then that I felt the heat from his body, and smelled his aroma.
Something stirred deep inside me.  I started getting a boner.  I was
wearing some worn out jeans, and my dick was making a very obvious bulge in
the front.  I tried to hide it, but he kept leaning over me and trying to
help me with the computer. I could sense that he was staring at the bulge
in my faded jeans.  He leaned over to point out something, and I felt the
front of his jeans against my shoulder.  There was no mistake.  I felt a
boner hitting my shoulder.

Now we were not surfing the net, and there were no nudie pictures on the
screen.  He was trying to show me how to insert a picture file into
Microsoft Word, but my mind could not focus.  Again I felt his boner rub
against my shoulder.  This time he didn't pull it away, and I leaned back
so I pushed against his dick.  I turned my head and looked at him.  His
eyes locked on mine.

"You have the most incredible eyes I have ever seen," he said to me.

I smiled at him, and he leaned over and kissed me on the forehead.  As soon
as he did that, he pulled back and started apologizing.  He was ready to
bolt for the door when I grabbed his hand.  Strange feelings were awakening
inside my body.  I pulled him to my bed and pushed him down.  I leaned over
and kissed him on the mouth.  At first he resisted, and then he melted, and
started shoving his tongue in my mouth.  My mind went back to Camp Eagle.
We started feeling each other's boner and continued our kissing.  I felt
his fingers working on the buttons of my jeans, and soon he had his hand on
my boner, feeling it through my boxers.

I moaned and he got more daring.  Now his hand was inside my boxers and he
was jacking me off.  We kept kissing, and I started working on his zipper
to release his dick.  He was a great kisser and I was losing control.  He
pulled my jeans and boxers off and lifted my shirt.  I fumbled with his
jeans, and he stood up and stripped nude in front of me.  I stared at his
blonde pubes and his slender hard 5-inch dick, sticking up against his
belly.  He was staring at my 6 1/2 inch dick as I pulled him back on the
bed and we continued kissing and jacking each other.  I heard him moan and
felt his hand on my nuts.  All the feelings that I had repressed suddenly
flamed up.  Todd leaned down and took my dick in his mouth.  I felt like I
was dreaming.  He was sucking my dick and playing with my balls as I felt
the cum start to boil in my body.  I wanted to warn him, but I was too
late.  My dick exploded in his mouth.  It seemed like I was shooting
gallons of jizz, but I looked down and watched him swallow every drop.  He
continued sucking my dick until I started to go soft.

Todd pulled his mouth off my dick and looked in my eyes.  I saw love.  It
had been over a year since I had experienced sex with anyone.  I pulled his
face to mine and kissed him, tasting my cum in his mouth.  We kissed for a
long time until he said he better go.  I told him to stay.  His eyes told
me that he was afraid.  I pulled him down on the bed and went for his dick.
I took all of it into my mouth and began sucking him like I had done to
Derek and the guys at camp.  Todd tried to warn me that he was going to cum
and tried to pull his dick out of my mouth, but I grabbed his body and
continued sucking.  His cock exploded.  His cum was the fluid of a new life
for me, and I swallowed it all, loving the sounds he was making as I
continued sucking him dry.

When he was done throbbing, I moved up to his face and saw tears forming in
his eyes.  He told me that he had never sucked a guy before.  He was afraid
I was going to tell everyone at school that he was a fag.  He knew I was
very popular, and I could lie and tell people that he hit on me and that I
turned him down.  I tried to talk to him and tell him that this would be
our secret.  I could feel his body tense up.  I went back down on him and
took his soft dick in my mouth.  It started to harden again.  We moved into
a 69 position and sucked each other for about 5 minutes and ate each
other's cum again.  He moved so we could kiss, and we drifted off to sleep.

We were shocked back to reality when we heard mom call for me.  We both
jumped up and dressed fast, with me telling mom that I was in my room with
a friend helping me on the computer.  When she got upstairs and knocked on
the door, we were both back at the computer working on the term paper for
me.  I introduced Todd to my mom and she asked if he could stay for dinner.
He called home using my phone and got permission to stay.  That dinner was
great for me, just looking at him and seeing the happiness in his face.  I
had found a new friend, and our love life had just begun.

The rest of 8th grade flew by.  Christmas, Easter, and finally the end of
the school year.  Todd and I were inseparable.  We slept over at each
other's house all the time and were like brothers.  I had told Derek about
Todd, and Derek told me to hang on to him and love him.  I was afraid to
love anyone, after loving Tommy, only to lose him.  I remember the night
back in January, when Todd and I were alone in his room.  January 19th,
9:00 p.m., the first time I had anal sex with a guy that I loved.  All we
had for lube was Vaseline, but it worked fine for us.  I remember him
putting his dick in me, and slowly penetrating deep inside me.  His face
was filled with love for me.  I remember his cum filling my body with
warmth, and our passionate kissing.  That night I made love to him in the
same way, taking care not to hurt him as my dick buried deep inside him,
thrusting and probing and finally filling him with my cum.

This was an act of love.  The memories of my rape came back, but were
replaced with the thoughts of Todd, and how gentle and tender anal sex
could be with someone special.  In the following months, we bonded closely.
Todd started working out with me in our basement, and he started going to
the fitness club with dad and me.  My parents were happy again, as my life
seemed to be finally under control. I was very disappointed to hear from
Derek that a big fire had destroyed a great deal of Camp Eagle, and it was
closed for the summer for rebuilding.  Derek had visited me three times,
and he and Todd and I enjoyed sex together, both oral and anal.

In spite of not being able to attend camp, Todd and I had a great summer
together, exploring sex with each other, and talking constantly about
anything.  I still could not tell anyone about being raped.  I remembered
the blood oath I had taken with Tommy and Kevin, and tried to push the bad
memories out of my head to make room for pleasant ones.  It was August, and
football tryouts were beginning in a week.  I was entering my freshman year
at Lansing Western High School that fall.  I had asked if I could try out,
but mom was afraid that I was too small to compete with the bigger kids in
high school.  I told her that they had a junior varsity team too, and
begged to tryout.  Dad helped me convince her, and I jumped with joy.


To be continued in Chapter 9.


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