Date: Tue, 3 Apr 2001 19:43:37 +0200 From: satoriboy2000@yahoo.com Subjects: Secrets Uncovered - Chapter 11 Warning: The following story has homosexual content. If you are offended or made uncomfortable by material concerning sexual relations between consenting young men, then don't read. If it is in any way illegal for you to be reading this, then don't. Otherwise please continue reading. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's been six months since David died. The first two or three were hell. I missed him so much, and my days were flooded with nothing but questions of wether or not I could have done anything to prevent it. But every time I began to doubt myself, I would read his letter again. I read and reread it probably a thousand times. But I haven't looked at it in about two months. I have accepted that what's done is done and that that is a chapter in my life that is now closed. It doesn't mean I have forgotten, or will ever forget David - it simply means that it is time to move on. On a brighter note, however, I'm glad to say that Ricky and I are still together. We have, however, had a few bumps in our relationship, and I'll fill you in on what's happened in the past six months. School started about two weeks after David's funeral. Of course, the second I walked through the school's gates, I was bombarded by masses of "friends", all of whom were so deeply "concerned" about how I was doing. I put on a smile and faked my way through most of the days, since it was really the only way I could deal with it. It was really hard in the beginning, and my relationship with Ricky began to take strain. I clearly remember what was Ricky and mine's first fight. It was around the end of the first week of the new year at school. I was lying on my bed at home, reading a magazine, when the phone rang. It was around 7pm. "Hello?" I answered. "Hey," replied a familiar voice. "Hey baby," I said. "How you holdin' up?" "I'm okay," I said. "Good to hear. You wanna do something tonight?" "I'd love to," I said. "Pick you up in 20 minutes?" "Perfect," he said. I could hear him smiling over the phone, and as I placed the receiver down, I realised how little time I was spending with Ricky. I arrived at his house 20 minutes later, as I said I would. I knew that if I went up and rang the bell, Ricky's mom would come out and start talking to me. Not that I didn't like talking to her, it's just that once she gets started, it's hard to stop her or to get away from her. So tonight I just hooted and waited for Ricky to come out. A few seconds later the front door opened and he started walking toward me. He was wearing faded stonewash Diesel jeans, Vans sneakers and a loose white top. He had his hair geled too. I smiled as he walked towards me. The casual look suited him so well. He hopped over the door and landed in the passenger seat next to me. "Hello baby," I said, giving him a long, warm kiss. "Mmmmmmmmmmm," he murmured, after our embrace was broken. "I've missed that." "So," I said. "What you wanna do tonight?" "How about a movie?" "Sounds good," I said. We drove straight to the mall. Ricky never asked or spoke to me about David anymore. I guess he realised that it was over and there was nothing more or new to be said about it. We sat through the movie holding hands, but didn't say very much. It was good, but nothing fantastic. In the car on the way toward the freeway, Ricky was staring at me. "Yes...?" I asked. "Nothing," he said, and turned away. I took the offramp in the direction of his house. We drove the rest of the way in silence. About 10 minutes later I pulled up the street to Ricky's house and stopped next to his driveway. There was nothing but the sound of the engine running. "You coming in?" Ricky finally broke the silence. "I'm just gonna go home, hey," I said. He sighed. "That's what I thought. Bye," he said coldly, opening the door and not giving me a kiss goodnight. "Hey," I said sternly. He didn't stop getting out the car. "Ricky!" I said, grabbing his arm. "What?" He barked back at me. "What's up with you?" I asked. "What's up with me? What's up with you? You've never got any time for me anymore! You haven't slept over at my house, or me at your house in over 6 weeks! Do you even know that you have a boyfriend?" Tears started streaming down his face. "Ricky you know how hard these past few weeks have been for me!" I shouted straight back at him, my tears starting to flow now. "Jase, you have to move on! It's been over six months! You need to get over it!" "Fuck you!" I said. "You have no idea what this is like! You have no idea what I have been through, and you are too fucking insensitive to show a little sympathy and consideration!" I pushed him out the car, slammed the passenger door closed, and sped away in a flurry of anger. My car skidded and slid all over the show on the way home. I pulled up into my driveway and slammed the car door shut. I walked inside the house and straight up to my room. Flopping down on my bed, I let out a huge scream of frustration and exhaustion. It took about half an hour for me to calm down, and I was so close to going outside for a cigarette, even though I had quit for almost a year. I lay on my side, staring at my phone. I was expecting it to ring. It didn't, though. I fell asleep waiting. I didn't sleep for too long though - probably about an hour or two. I was woken by a hand on my shoulder. "Jase...Jase..." "Mmmmmm," I mumbled into my pillow. "Wake up," the voice said. I opened my eyes. It was totally dark. I rolled over. "Rick..?" "Yeah, baby." "Hi," I said. "Hi," He said. "Listen..." He started. "You don't have to apologise," I said. "I'm kinda glad, in a way." "Glad?" he asked, startled. "Yeah. Now we've had our first fight." I could see him smile in the dim light. He said nothing. Nothing needed to be said though - he just kissed me and ran his hands all over me, and I him. I took a deep breath in, smelling him. I loved his smell. I wasn't sure if it was that he always used the same aftershave, or wether it was just the way he naturally smelled. I didn't care. After we used to make love, I would still be able to smell him on my clothes, hours after he'd left. God I loved him. "I love you so much," he said. I stared at him. I didn't need to say it back, though. Even in the low light, I knew he could see what I was feeling, and that I didn't need to vocalise myself. "Sleep over tonight?" I asked. He smiled. "Thought you'd never ask," he said. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Comments or suggestions to satoriboy2000@yahoo.com Satori.