Date: Wed, 20 Aug 2008 16:45:39 -0400
From: Joe Barker <jbark217@gmail.com>
Subject: Summer Camp Proposition

Part I

       Camp was not what I imagined. Originally I had taken the job for
three reasons. I wanted to escape my old job, which I had the deepest
loathing for. I wanted to break out from under my responsibilities and keep
them in my shadow. And I wanted to plain just get away, and hide from the
real world.
	Now I don't wear black clothes, or wear makeup, and I don't listen
to traditionally "emo" music. But sometimes I feel like an "emo kid" at
heart. I don't always show it, but I can get very depressed. It generally
goes away when I let it, but I find sometimes I am very clingy to my
depression, which is weird. It is one of the few emotions that I can do
well, and my depression keeps me going, because it gives me something to
fight against.
	Camp was going to be my place to get away, and have a fresh start
to be who I know I was deep down. College had not ended as well as I had
wished. I had just moved in with a great friend of mine, but the adult-like
responsibility was not what I was used to and it almost scared me.
	I arrived at camp a few days after orientation had begun, so there
were eighty people there that had already gone through and done the
beginning get-to-know-you stuff and they were becoming friends. It was
because of this that I felt slightly like an outcast before I had ever set
foot on the grounds. To my surprise when I was actually taken in, they did
just that, they took me in and under their wings. They showed me their
dances and songs, and soon I found myself fast becoming... "One of them."
	Rooming with five other guys was extremely awkward at first, but I
am not fem so I fit in rather well. There were very many different types of
guys, and my mind did what I always did, I began to scope out who I thought
to be gay or my summer crush. And soon I noticed the only other "gay" guy
was extremely annoying and I didn't like him.
	I found myself tonight sitting in what they called the
"tree-house." It was quiet at the top at night and it was lit. I was
working on something that involved pen and paper so that my thoughts were
flowing into the ink. It was my release.
	I heard talking as people walked below me.
	"...that new guy." I knew the voice but I couldn't place it, all I
could tell was that it was a girl.
	"Yea what about him?" another girl spoke.
	"Well, he's kind of cute." I thought they were talking about me.
	"He's not ugly but he is big, and I think he's gay." The second
girl said.
	"He isn't fat, but his is thick and strong...I like that." The
first girl said.
	"I still think he's gay..." their voices trailed off.
	I flushed, drama had already started about me and I had only been
through a day of this place. I stood up to follow them down the path, not
to follow them but to go down to the main camp.
	I stepped into the Food Gallery, which where we took our meals, and
was open at all times for us to grab snacks. As I was walking toward the
back where others were I noticed a guy that I had seen but knew nothing
about. I made a split second decision and veered off toward him. I took the
seat right across from him and sat down.
       "Hi!" I said nicely.
       "Um, hello..." He said slowly.
       "What's your name?" I asked
       "Aaron, you?" His country accent was subtle, with the little he was
saying, but I still picked up on it.
       "Jay or you can call me Scrypt." I smiled. "So what brings you down
here?"
       "I was hungry." He looked at me carefully and then almost grinned.
It was a small twitch and I almost misted it.
       I chuckled. "Oh. Right. I should've known that. So how is it going
so far for ya?" I said trying to spark a few more words out of him.
       "Good..." He looked down at his crackers and took a small bite. His
hair fell down around his face in long blond and brown locks. The streaks
of blond were perfect they didn't seem unnatural or ugly.
       "Oh ok, well, have a good night." I said and stood up and walked
away from his table. As I sat down at the other table, one of the girls
looks up at me.
       "Weird one that one is..." she smiles at me flirtatiously, and I had
a sneaking suspicion I knew whom it was that I had overheard talking a few
moments earlier.
       "Not so much, I think he is just shy." I said and stood up to go
grab a drink and head back to my cabin.
       The next day I had a conversation with a couple of girls I felt
comfortable with and I began to ask around about a couple of people's
sexuality. It was just between me and them or so I thought. Later that
evening when I found myself at the Food Gallery again, the Camp Director
was coming out, after a late meeting. She stopped and smiled at me.
       "Hey...Scrypt isn't it..." She laughed at getting my nickname
right. "...so how is the camp life treating you so far?" I sat down next to
her on a bench and began giving her my praises of the camp and how much I
loved it.
       "Good, that's great to hear...so I guess that you have got
everything worked out." She smiled.
       "What do you mean?" She hesitates as her smile fades.
       "Well I had heard that perhaps earlier you were here with, how do I
put this, hopes of advancing you social life." She says carefully.
       I sit up more attentively. "Wait, I'm confused what are you talking
about?" I said shakily.
       "Well I had heard that you may have been trying to date some of the
counselors." My jaw dropped as I racked my brain.
       "No...I mean yea I expressed my opinion about some of their good
looks, but I wouldn't date one of them." This wasn't a lie, but it wasn't
complete truth, if one would show me interest then I would date him but I
would never pursue one, putting anyone in an uncomfortable situation.
       "Oh ok, I just wanted to check." She seemed relieved, like she
didn't want to have to deal with that or deal with me one. At that moment
in time I lost a lot of respect for her, because even thought I knew she
was protecting her "Camp Culture" she was also segregating me out from
everyone else because I was gay. This was ironic because I knew that she
herself had a life partner, but it wasn't that that made me mad, it was the
fact that if any girl expressed their likings of a guy then it would go by
unnoticed.
       I stood up and walked away as she got up to leave. I didn't say much
to her after that, just smiled in passing mostly. As I walked away,
thoughts kept flying through my head, what did I say and who did I say it
to? It was a ridiculous thought, because I hadn't said anything worth
mentioning like that. I was pissed and I knew it, I had to go back to my
bed. I walked into my cabin and grabbed my bag and headed right back out,
leaving at least one of my cabin mates staring at me confusedly.
       I climbed my way to the top of the tree house again and perched
myself on a seat and began to write. I was livid and the only way I knew to
calm down was to write the emotion out. Slowly my breathing eased and my
head stopped hurting as my pen flowed down the page. I stopped writing to
glance at my watch. It was 11:45; the time had seemed to have gone away by
its own accord. I picked up some of my stuff and began to pack it back in
my bag. Curfew was 12, and I wasn't about to give the director another
reason to approach me. So I closed my bag and stood up slowly, stretching.
       "Hey Scrypt..." the voice came from below me on the deck. I hadn't
heard my name come out of his mouth before and it was strange, and sent a
feeling up my back that I almost enjoyed.
       "Hello." I said as I slid down to the lower level. He sort of
twitched his hand in a wave, and I nodded back.
       "What are you doing out this late?" he said slowly. It was the most
I had heard him say and it caught me off guard as his soft-spoken country
accent took over completely. I giggled slightly but caught myself before he
noticed.
       "Oh, just scribbling some stuff down." I smiled. "What about you?"
       "Oh...um...I was on my way back from the computer lab and saw
someone up here so I came to say hello." This coming from the person who
never said much of anything to anyone, he actually made a move to talk to
someone.
       "Really, well that certainly was nice of you, and I Thank You." I
used one of my theatrical voices and a big sweeping bow to make light of
the fact that I was grinning from ear to ear.
       "Oh it's not a problem." He grinned broadly. "So what were you
scribbling?" I was still memorizing his smile, as I answered his question
randomly.
       "Stories, about love mostly." I snapped awake as I realized what I
had said. No one knew what I wrote and I kept it that way for good reason,
my stories were personal.
       "Oh wow! That's cool; I enjoy reading so if you ever want to share
some I would be willing to read them." He smiled, and I was entranced
again.
       "Sure I'll keep that in mind." I said and we moved toward the
pathway to our cabins. We were mostly quiet on the way back to our cabins,
and when we reached mine, I waved goodbye to him and he went off to his.
       I was playing with an interesting emotion now, or set of emotions I
should say. There were no more days until campers arrived, Aaron and I had
become very comfortable talking with each other which, resulted in him
taking every chance to talk to me, which also began to break him out of his
shell with other people. Also the kids weren't even there yet and they had
been having a strange effect on me. I was nervous and my thoughts had been
on how good of a counselor I would make. Not on Aaron, or any other guy,
this was strange for me. I knew that I like Aaron, and I had my suspicions
about him but the campers were on my mind for the time being.

Part II

       The kids arrived and we slowly fell into our routines and steadily
increasing amounts of fun. My boys were amazing group of kids that kept me
waking up with new hopes of the adventures for that day. We kept them for a
little less than a month at a time and we had three summer sessions. My
boys were the second youngest of the four groups. Their ages ranged from 10
to 13. The other groups were 7 to 10, 13 to 14, and 15 to 16 year old boys
and girls.
       A week had gone by and I had managed (with my co-counselor) to
maintain the Boys' positive attitude and happy moods, we had no problems
with their friendships or their respect. I couldn't have dreamt of a better
group of kids.
       During breakfast on the first Saturday of the session we were
walking into the Food Gallery and sat down at our table, the table behind
us, which I was facing, had a group of the youngest (7-10) and their
counselors. Aaron was with them, after he had served them their food he sat
down with his own plate, and he looked up. I had been staring, it was the
first time that I had had a good chance to think about him without
interruption. An old mix of feelings came rushing back as he made eye
contact with me, his smile spread across his face and blood rushed to
mine. I smiled back with as much calm as I could.
       The day went on without a hitch, because my kids were amazing, going
everywhere from archery to the pool, and having a remarkable time. After
our cabin time, they were all safely tucked away in their beds, and I
didn't have to be on duty that night so I decided to go for a walk and
maybe get some writing done. I was walking mindlessly and eventually found
myself almost at the tree house. I turned the last corner and walked into
something...or someone. Aaron was reading and looking down and we had
walked right into each other. I stumbled backward and he reached a hand out
and wrapped it around me to catch me.
       "Oh...sorry." He blushed and let me go once I was standing again.
       "No its fine, thank you." I said calmly picking up the bag I had
dropped.
       "What are you doing out?" He asked.
       "I thought about getting some writing done, what about you?" I
smiled.
       "I was just reading, and heading back to the cabin." His smile
slowly slid away.
       "Would...would you like to read something of mine?" His smile
blossomed across his face again.
       "I would be honored." He said and turned to walk with me. We climbed
up to the top of the tree house and we sat across from each other in the
circular room that was the top. He stared at me; stared into my eyes
something sent chills all the way through my body. I rambled through my bag
for a moment and pulled out a story of mine, something completed and
simple. About love and the perfect guy, I hesitated to pass it over to him
but I knew that if I ever wanted a relationship I would have to trust and
let the other half be accepting, on their own time.
       Time seemed to go by so slow, as he read, but he did read. He was a
quick reader and the pages seemed to just flip on their own. When he was
done I took a deep breath, and waited for him to speak.
	"This was...amazin'. I've never read any story this good; it has
wonderful emotion and great insight." He smiled up at me and I grinned as
his accent flooded across me. "It reminds me of what I've wanted all my
life." He looked down at the story again I could tell he blushed.
	"Me too." I said it before I had even thought about.
	"You have?"
	"Really?" Our questions came out in sync and we laughed at the
irony.

Part III

	The days seemed to come to a halt after the night I had spent
talking to Aaron. He was very talkative after we discovered our kindred
spirits. We hugged that night after we had talked about everything under
the sun. We talked about everything we had in common and the few things we
didn't have in common made me like him even more it seemed to balance my
own feelings.
	The days eventually turned to weeks and we both became so wrapped
up in our kids that we didn't see each other nearly enough. It was on the
fateful day that our cabins were reassigned that our pieces of paper flew
from the contraption they gave us and fell to the ground. Two red slips of
paper fell down at our feet, reading the name of the same cabin. Aaron and
I had been placed in the same cabin; this was going to be interesting.
	We moved our stuff in and had no problem during the time off; we
didn't see each other at all. Until it was time for our campers to come in,
with the new cabin change we had new camper ages. We had oldest which was
going to be something new for both of us because of our orientation. Our
campers came in, and I knew that at least I was caught off guard. I never
knew that 15 year old boys could be so incredibly gorgeous. There were a
pair in particular that hit it off so great on the first day, it was like
they had been friends all their life anyways. One was Adam; he was not as
tall as me but skinny with an amazing build, abs and Pecs...the whole nine
yards. I kept myself from drooling and slipping into any inappropriate
thoughts at first but he made it extremely hard, because he struck up a
friendship with me also.
	I couldn't keep him away from me and it was almost getting to the
point that I was questioning his motives. Then on the fourth day his
motives couldn't have been any clearer. Even as fast as bonds form here it
is almost unheard of for the campers to confide in you deep secrets or
growing pains. But of course it would happen to me.
	"Hey Scrypt, can I talk to you in private." I nodded, and made eye
contact with Aaron giving him the silent signal that we were going on the
porch to talk. It was an awkward silence at first, and he was staring at
his feet. I sat down next to him and I noticed that he had started to
cry. I shook my head, and placed my hand on his back, rubbing. It tore me
up to see a camper cry like this, no child should be pushed to limits like
these.
	"Its ok buddy, take your time you can tell me when you're ready." I
said quietly.
	He sobbed for a few more seconds and took a deep breath and looked
into my eyes. "I've known you for about two weeks now right?" I nodded
"Well can you keep a secret for me. I trust you."
	"I can try but if it is really serious I may have to tell someone,
but I still want you to tell me..." I said using a technique they had shown
us in training.
	"Ok, it's not serious though. Well high school is hard...I get
picked on some...well a lot. And camp is such amazing place I'm almost
afraid to go back." He said.
	"You don't get hurt do you?" I asked almost parent like.
	"Not physically...but they do abuse me verbally." He said slowly.
	"Well why?" I asked
	"They say that I am gay...and I'm not sure that they are wrong." He
said very rapidly and then looked back down at his shoes in pain.
	Blood rushed to my brain and my thoughts had never spun so fast,
and I knew exactly what to say at the moment, but when I opened my mouth my
words escaped me.
	"Well it's not necessarily a bad thing. Being Gay doesn't make you
any less of a person." He looked up at me shocked that I would accept him
with overwhelming ease, and I was pained to think that he thought I was
straight and accepting...instead of slightly biased on the issue.
	"I know it doesn't make me any less of a person, but I've been
trying to fight myself. I don't want to be gay; it's too hard to fall in
love." His eyes cut over at me as if he had just said something silly.
	"You know just because its hard doesn't make it impossible. People
don't stumble over mountains; they trip on the little pebbles along the
way. And believe me when I say that being gay is a mountain not a pebble."
I said.
	He chuckled and then looked up at me the tears drying on his
cheeks. "Scrypt...how old are you?"
	It was my turn to chuckle as I said "how old do you think I am?" It
was a favorite question of mine because kids would say the wildest things
when it came to my age.
	"26ish?" He said slowly.
	"Good guess but..." I hesitated this could turn out to be a very
bad situation but it felt like the right thing to do, becoming an even
closer friend by showing we had something more in common. "...I'm 18." His
jaw dropped.
	"No...That's impossible, you're only 2 years older than me?"
	"I thought you were 15?"
	"I'll be 16 on the day we leave camp."
	"Oh, well, happy early birthday!"
	"Will you give me a gift?" He smiled.
	"Depends...what do you want?"
	He hesitated and then said "...to know."
	"'To know' what?" I said. I didn't get an answer then, he simply
stood up and went in and wiped his eyes and went back to his friend.
Glancing over at me as he sat down, I followed into the room and sat down
on a bean bag as they were lying down in bed.

Part IV

	After that things got interesting...I mean awkward...well both.
Every chance Adam got he was touching or putting me into a situation that I
found extremely erotically uncomfortable. The first time was in the dining
hall when we were sitting at the table, he whispered to me that he had to
go to the bathroom, and as the counselor that he told it was I who had to
escort him. We walked across the hall fine but when I was standing at the
edge of the bathroom where I could keep an eye on him as well as be seen.
He stood up at the urinal and turned just as he was tucking himself into
his pants. The first thing I noticed was that he was commando. I
deliberately turned my head and didn't glimpse more than hair and skin. He
seemed slightly sulky after that.
	The second time was a night time cabin chat where we all talked
about our days and the things we enjoyed about them, by candlelight and
candlelight alone. Aaron was leading the chat holding the candle so I was
on proximity control, which meant I went from bed to bed as the kids talked
out of turn. I had ignored Adam for as long as I could, but when Aaron cut
me a dangerous look by candlelight I hung my head and walked over sitting
on his bed. He was laying fine for the first moment but right when I went
to stand up his hand slipped into my back pocket. I gasped and stood up and
his hand jerked back down to the bed. I'm not sure what our faces would
have looked like if we could have seen each other, but my imagination gave
me the impression he was either embarrassed or grinning at me.
	The third and final time was during shower time, with eight kids
and only two showers we opened up both sides (counselors and campers) so
that we could get done faster. And it was I who had control of the
counselor side. Adam quickly volunteered to go shower on our side, along
with his friend who took like 25 minute showers. They were in there
laughing and giggling together for about ten minutes when a shower turned
off and a curtain slid. Adam walked into the view of the door way with only
a towel wrapped around him. We made momentary eye contact and then it felt
like time had slowed down. He opened his hand and the towel drifted slowly
to the ground. My eyes locked on his willing myself to keep them there.
	His eyes melted me, the soft hazel color of them. That made me
dreamy and my eyes fluttered down first to his neck, watching the muscles
ripple into each crevice of his body. His chest was strong with well
defined Pecs which melted into a nice set of forming abs. His pelvis was
etched with a V so perfect that it made my mouth water. His hair was
settled perfectly over a nice sized penis and ball sack. He was soft and I
could tell that he was a nice size for his age. My eyes traveled lower and
noticed the detail of his legs. Light hair that covered each muscles, which
were perfectly shaped. Needless to say he was the perfect specimen of a
teenage boy. My counselor mentality kicked in right as I heard the other
curtain slide and Adam dove into a bathroom stall with his towel on his
foot. I almost chuckled at the sight but then realized how many moral and
camp values I had just violated.
	I walked into the camper side and stood against the door as a
dressed Adam and his friend moseyed into the room casually. It wasn't
completely late, so I whispered to Aaron that I was going to take Adam
outside to talk about what we had talked about earlier. He nodded asking me
if everything was ok. I nodded and whispered back.
	"I'll fill you in later."  I turned to Adam as he was talking to
his friend. "Come with me outside please, I would like to talk to you about
something." I said it quietly enough so that it was only his friend who
heard and gave a suspicious look.
	"Ok!" He smiled at me.
	As we walked outside and the door clicked I rounded on him
quickly. "What exactly are you trying to do." I said calmly.
	He looked back in surprise and muttered. "What are you talking
about?"
	"Everything you have been doing over the last couple of days, like
the shower tonight...why?"
	"Isn't it obvious...?" He said quietly. I sat down on the bench as
so many things hit me at once. He liked me...and was trying to express it
as best as he could.
	"Oh..." I said.
	"Oh? Is that good or bad?" He looked at me expectantly.
	"You know I'm flattered, and if you were a little bit older or
maybe not at camp, things would be different...but it's completely
inappropriate." He didn't have the reaction I thought he would; instead of
being upset he perked up a bit.
	"So you are gay!" He said.
	"You didn't do all this just to prove that did you?" I felt blood
rush to my face either out of anger or embarrassment.
	"NO! I really do like you...and I don't think it would be that big
of a deal."
	"I just can't..."
	He looked at me and began to tear up. He turned away from the cabin
and sprinted away...

*******************

Thanks for reading this and i hope you enjoyed it. THere will be more of
this story but i would love to hear your comments. Please remember that
comments are the only form of payment i get, and i love them.

Email me at...

Jbark217@gmail.com



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www.niftyscrypt.webs.com