Date: Mon, 20 Sep 1999 00:57:45 EDT
From: MindPieces <samuraisupremo@hotmail.com>
Subject: Afflecktion 11-15

	Hey there everyone, I'm baaaack! I know I promised that the
previous section of this story would be the last, but I decided that a few
more chapters wouldn't hurt. This story sort of goes into a different
direction from the previous ones, and it was this idea that made me want to
do it in the first place. So I guess I should thank a few people here.
First and foremost to Allen, for being there through the ups and (far too
many) downs, and for keeping my procrastination in check. You know I'll
always love you boy, and I'll always hold a special place for you, despite
where our paths take us. Of course I have to thank Mariette, Jeff, and
Rick, for allowing me to take control of them and throw them in here. To
all the fans, thanks for reading, and e-mail me at MindPieces
<samuraisupremo@hotmail.com> with your opinions. I also have to throw out a
plug to the other story I've written. I collaborated with fellow writer
Leprechaun on a story called "Unsent", which is in the Relationships
section of this website. For those of you who haven't read it, check it out
and let me know what you think. So enough from me, on with the show.

Afflecktion- Part 11

	"Amanda, what the FUCK is your problem?" I screamed into the
darkness. I could barely focus, hardly able to see where I was with my rain
drenched hair in my eyes. The drugs were working quickly tonight.
	"My problem?" she screamed back, stepping on to the sidewalk and
getting into my face. "It's always someone else's problem isn't it? When
was the last time you took a look in the mirror?"
	"I don't need this shit from you. I got kicked out of my apartment
this morning, I have no place to go. You're my fucking girlfriend and you
won't even help me!!"
	"Look at yourself!" she screamed, her hands pushing against my
chest. I lost my balance almost immediately, tumbling on to the cold cement
with the rain pouring in my face.
	I laid there for a minute, the tears starting to form in my eyes. I
got to my knees, wrapping my arms around her legs as I started bawling. I
felt like I was losing my mind.
	"Amanda you have to help me!! Please help me baby, please. I love
you, you know I love you more than anything." I put my head on her shoes,
my arms tightly wrapped around her legs and not letting go.
	"Get off of me, you make me sick!" she yelled as she pulled away,
leaving me there on my knees. "You don't even know what you're saying,
you're high on something. Crack, heroin, speed, I don't fucking know
anymore, and I don't care. Look for me sometime if you ever get the balls
to get your shit together."
	I looked up, watching as she left me, running across the rain
soaked street. I couldn't stop crying.
	"Come back Amanda!! Come back!!" I cried. I kept screaming until
she had disappeared, then I fell to the sidewalk in a ball, my clothes
soaked. "Please come back," I whispered to myself. "Please..."
	
	"CUT!!" the director yelled across the set, running over to
me. "Beautiful David, absolutely perfect. That's a wrap."
	I pulled myself out of the fetal position and sat on the sidewalk,
wiping the tears away as the rain machines turned off.
	"Thanks Robert," I said, managing a smile. "That one was pretty
draining."
	"I know, that's why I saved it as the final shot for
tonight. You're free to go."
	"Thanks Bob."
	I pulled myself off of the sidewalk and headed toward my trailer,
ready to get out of my soaked clothes. I ran into Jennifer Love Hewitt on
my way there, who was playing the role of my emotionally tortured
girlfriend in the movie.
	"Great scene Love," I said with a smile.
	"You too, you were great. I'll see you bright and early in the
morning."
	"Yeah, bright and early," I said sarcastically. "Don't remind me."
	"I know how you feel. Have a good night David," she replied, giving
me a smile before walking off.
	I stepped into my trailer and took off my outfit, changing back
into the clothes I had arrived in that morning. The movie was set to be
done shooting in less than two weeks, and though it had been a great
experience, I was certainly ready to go back home. I'd been stuck in New
York since December, and I'd only been able to see Ben a few times when one
of us had the time off to fly across the country. We talked on the phone
every night at least, or else I might not have made it.
	The film was called "Dead to the World", and I played a teenager
who falls in with the wrong crowd and becomes a junkie, which eventually
drives him and his girlfriend apart. It was pretty much a love story with a
tragic ending, and though I'd been offered all sorts of roles after
"Twisted Innuendo" hit it big in November, I wanted to stick with a smaller
film. Miramax was producing it and Ben recommended the director, so I
turned down the lead roles in those summer blockbuster type movies to do
this instead.
	After I changed I left my trailer, hopping into the rental car and
taking the fifteen minute drive back to the hotel. I wasn't used to the
"star treatment" I had been getting from the studio. They provided the
hotel, the car, my food, the plane tickets, everything. All of this after a
supporting role in one hit movie. It was surreal, but I wasn't about to
complain.
	I finally arrived at the suite a little past midnight, completely
exhausted from the day yet dying to call Ben at the same time. I collapsed
on the bed and reached across the nightstand, grabbing the phone receiver
and dialing. It seemed to take ages for the call to go through, as it
usually does when you're calling across country from a hotel room.
	"Hello?" Ben said as he picked up, sounding groggy.
	"Don't tell me you were asleep already lazy ass, it's like nine
o'clock out there."
	"Oh shut up bitch," he said with a laugh. "I have no reason to stay
up when you're not around."
	"Well now you do, cause it's ME on the phone," I replied
overdramatically.
	"Ah yes, the queen herself. NOW I'm awake."
	"Yes, now bow to me peasant!"
	"You're a freak," he said, laughing and starting to sound more
conscious. "So how'd the day go?"
	"It was tough. We had a really difficult scene to shoot today. Lots
of crying, lots of rain, that sort of thing."
	"Damn boy, you are attracted to those grungy, emotional roles
aren't you? To think you could have starred in some teen flick with Freddie
Prinze Jr. and been all over the cover of Tiger Beat by now," he said
jokingly.
	"Oh yeah, THAT'S my dream," I laughed. "Can I star in She's All
That Two, pleeeease??"
	"I'll call the studios for you on that one. Oh hey, did you find
out about tomorrow?"
	"Yep, and I have to work. I'm sorry babe." I rolled over on the
bed, sitting up against the headboard.
	"They're making you work on your birthday?" he asked, obviously
upset.
	"Well yeah. This thing has to be wrapped up in over a week, I don't
think they can spare me for the day. So it looks like I can't fly in."
	"Damn, this sucks David. I've seen you like five times in the past
four months. I have to watch Matt and Rick making googly eyes at each other
all the time, not to mention the fact that I have to masturbate thinking
about you at least four times a day. I'm going crazy."
	"Four times, that's IT?" I yelled, trying to lighten the mood. "I
know it sucks, but I'll be home in a week and a half, and after that I'm
not going anywhere for a while."
	"So you're SURE you'll be home in time for the Oscars? That's your
big night."
	"I'm sure. The movie will be wrapped a couple days before that."
	"A nomination for your first film, pretty crazy huh?" he asked,
basically saying what I'd been thinking for the past couple months.
	"Very crazy. It should be a lot of fun though, even if I don't
win."
	"Well you better win. I've been sleeping with all the Academy
members to sway the vote for you."
	"Really honey? How sweet," I laughed.
	"Hey, anything for you," he said, sighing with fake
exasperation. "I think there's another thing we should talk about when you
get back home."
	"And what's that?" I asked.
	"Where 'home' should be."
	I propped up some pillows behind me, not sure what he was getting
at.
	"What do you mean?"
	"Well, with Casey here, you here, me here, Matt here, and now Rick
here almost all the time, this place is running out of room. Not to mention
privacy. And poor Casey, he's constantly surrounded by two gay couples,
it's almost like we're running a brothel," he laughed.
	"Right, holding the poor straight boy hostage," I joked. "I don't
mind moving, as long as the tabloids don't make a deal out of our living
alone together."
	"I doubt they would," he replied, switching positions on the
bed. "We'd just look like friends and roomies to the rest of the world, the
same way Matt and I have always looked."
	"Alright then, I'll think about it. Maybe you should start looking
for a place."
	"Yeah, I'll start glancing around."
	"Sounds good," I replied, taking off my clothes and flipping off
the light.
	"Did you just get naked?" Ben asked, his voice dropping to a sexy
whisper.
	"Yes, but that's because I'm getting in bed," I laughed.
	"Oh I see how it is, no phone fun tonight hmmm?"
	"If I hadn't worked a twelve hour day, then have to wake up in five
more hours to go work my twentieth birthday away, I'd be glad to."
	"Well excuse me for asking," he said, sounding hurt but obviously
bullshitting.
	"That performance doesn't fool me," I laughed, getting under the
covers. "I'll make it all up to you in a week in a half."
	"You better. We just have to hope my right hand doesn't fall off by
that time."
	"I'm sure you'll survive," I laughed. "Make me proud, go for five
times tomorrow."
	"You're such a tease," he said with a sigh.
	"I know, but you love me for it. And now I have to go to bed before
I pass out."
	"Yes, I do love you. And I'm definitely going to call to wish you a
happy birthday tomorrow."
	"Alright. I love you too, and I miss the shit out of you."
	"I miss you too my man. Goodnight David."
	"Night Ben. Wet dreams. OH, I mean sweet dreams, my bad," I
laughed.
	"Bitch!" he snapped back.
	"I know." I couldn't seem to stop laughing. "I love you, bye bye."
	"Love you too tease, bye."
	I hung the phone up and rolled on to my side, letting my head hit
the pillow. I closed my eyes and almost immediately started drifting,
thinking of Ben, the film, my birthday, the Oscars. Fame was definitely
keeping me a busy man.

	"So there's the birthday boy," Love said as I walked on to the set
the next morning, fresh from the wardrobe department.
	"Well, technically I'm not the big two zero until eight o'clock
tonight," I replied with a smile. "That leaves at least twelve hours to
go."
	"Ah, trying to hold on to your teen years for as long as possible
huh?" she laughed.
	"Damn right, I don't want to get old."
	"Oh yeah, I think I see some gray up there already. In fact, is
that a toupee?" she asked, reaching for my head.
	"Very funny." I quickly dodged her hand, protecting my hair. "Don't
take my toupee off, they'll send me back to makeup for another hour to fix
it."
	We walked along the New York sidewalk, waiting around for the crew
to set up the lighting and get the cameras in place for our first shot of
the day. The entire street had been closed off for the morning just so we
could shoot, but there were still some onlookers and fans standing on the
sidelines. Mornings on the set were always a nice experience, before the
hard work and stress had kicked in for the day.
	"So I hope you're not busy tonight," Love said as we sat down on
the curb.
	"I don't think so, why?"
	"Well the crew wanted to take you out to party your ass off
tonight, if you're up for it. They might even stop the shoot EARLY, imagine
that one."
	"Wow, I must be pretty important," I laughed. "And yeah, I'm up for
it. All I'm really expecting today is a phone call."
	"How is Ben doing anyway?" she asked, looking at me as we sat
there.
	"He's good, I talked to him last night. I miss him like hell
though, it's been almost a month since I flew out there."
	"Yeah, I know how that can be. This shoot is pretty convenient
since Carson is right down the street, but 'Time of Your Life' shoots
mainly in L.A."
	"Well, at least you can share my pain," I joked.
	"Yeah, we're the long suffering duo."
	I had told Love about Ben and I about two months into the shoot,
when we were really starting to get to know each other. She was so grounded
and down to earth that I knew I didn't have to worry about her telling
anybody. We had actually bonded a lot over the past few months, and she had
helped keep me sane during more than a few days that I thought I'd lose it.
	"Uh oh, time to work," I muttered as I saw Robert wave us over. I
stood up from the curb and began walking toward the cameras.
	"WAIT!!" Love yelled.
	"What?" I snapped back around, my heart jumping from her scream.
	"Let me grab your walker, don't move!"
	"Oh don't start with me," I laughed, walking away.

	We were about eight hours into the day and I was sitting on the
sidelines of the set, watching as Love shot a scene with a couple of the
other actors. It was just starting to get interesting when one of the
assistants tapped me on the shoulder.
	"David, phone call," he said before walking off.
	I jumped out of my chair, remembering that Ben was supposed to call
at any time. I'd been so busy with the movie that I'd nearly forgotten. I
ran to the nearest phone, lunging for the receiver.
	"Hey sexy," I spit out, nearly out of breath.
	"Well hey there yourself stud," I heard Mariette say. "Did you
sprint to the phone just to talk to me?"
	"Oh, it's just you," I said jokingly. "I was hoping for someone of
the male persuasion."
	"Well thanks, I feel loved. I guess no birthday present for you!"
	"No no no...I mean, of course I ran JUST to talk to you, my very
best friend in the whole world." I put on the most soothing voice I could
muster.
	"Yeah right. But happy birthday anyway," she laughed.
	"Thanks. How have you been?"
	"Things are going good, slaving away for IHOP on a daily basis as
usual. I'm still your date for the Oscars in a couple weeks right?"
	"Well I don't know," I said slowly, hesitating. "It depends how
nice my birthday present is."
	"I'll take that as a yes," she said with a laugh. "I can't wait to
meet Ben and Matt and Casey and Brad and everything."
	"Sweetie, when will you learn that I DON'T know Brad Pitt?" I
laughed.
	"Hey, he could be at the Oscars you know," she said, off in her own
fantasy land.
	"Right. And you'll just ditch your date and take off with Brad?"
	"If he asks me to, sure," she said evilly.
	"Ah, that's my girl. I'll send you your plane ticket in a week or
so, then once you get here you'll have to pick out your dress and
everything. Make it good, or Joan Rivers will have a field day with you
before we get in to the place."
	"Right, like I care what that bitch says. But it'll look good, as
long as you're paying."
	"Of course. I won't make you sacrifice your tips or anything," I
joked.
	"Good. Just whip out those movie star millions of yours."
	"Millions, right," I laughed. "I really rake in the millions
starring in these indie movies."
	"Hey, you're more famous than you think mister. I've seen you quite
a few times in my Entertainment Weekly, it's a weird experience."
	"It's even weirder for me. I'm just waiting to show up on the cover
of the Enquirer, then I know I've hit it big."
	"Yes, scandal always helps."
	"Yeah, I can't wait," I said sarcastically. "I have to get going
now, before the director has me beheaded."
	"Alright, happy twentieth. I'll talk to you soon."
	"Thanks. Bye bye."
	 I hung up the phone, walking back over to the set and getting
ready for my next shot. I had no idea when Ben was going to get off his ass
and give me a call, though I hoped it'd be soon.


	"So this is the place?"
	I was looking out the car window as we pulled up to the club, which
Love informed me the studio had rented out for the evening for my birthday
party. I immediately said that such a thing wasn't necessary, but she said
it's something they like to do for their "stars".  It was nearing eight
thirty when we finally arrived, and though I was beat after another long
day, I was ready to have a good time.
	"There might be a few surprises for you here," Love said as we
stepped out of the car and walked to the club doors.
	"Like what?"
	"You'll see," she smiled.
	The first thing I noticed when we walked into the place was the
huge amount of people inside. It almost looked like a club would on a
regular night, and I knew that I didn't know THAT many people. I figured
some friends of friends must have been invited. The instant I walked
through the doors everyone started clapping and cheering, and I eventually
saw a few familiar faces.
	I started mingling with some friends, mainly the cast and crew of
'Twisted Innuendo' that I hadn't seen since the movie wrapped. I got lots
of congratulations for my Oscar nomination, and plenty of wishes for good
luck when the big night came. I even ran into Gwyneth and Winona which was
great, though in the back of my mind I was scouting the room for Ben at
every turn.
	After I'd made my way around the room I headed to the bar, so I
could REALLY start the party. From a distance I saw a guy sitting there who
I swear looked like Matt, at least from behind. I moved closer, and
immediately I recognized him.
	"Are you looking for a good time tonight big boy?" I whispered
seductively into his ear.
	He turned immediately, at first looking disgusted, until he saw
that it was me.
	"David!! Damn, I was hoping it was some perverted old man," he
laughed.
	"Better luck next time buddy."
	I gave Matt a quick hug before sitting down at the stool next to
him and quickly ordering two drinks.
	"I was hoping to find you around here," Matt continued. "Happy
birthday man."
	"Thanks. I didn't expect to see you here."
	"I didn't even find out about it until a couple days ago, but of
course I had to show up. I wouldn't want to miss the demise of your teen
years," he laughed.
	"Yeah yeah, don't remind me." I rolled my eyes, laughing as the two
shots of whiskey arrived. "Did Rick come with you?"
	"Nah, he had shit to do. And I'm flying home in the morning, so
he'll survive without me."
	"How about Ben?" Finally I was able to ask someone the REAL
question that had been on my mind.
	"No, I'm sorry. He had some scripts to read over, and you know how
it is to get him on a plane. He should be calling you though."
	"Yeah, so I hear," I replied, barely hiding the disappointment in
my voice. "Well anyway, I say we get drunk and dance til we're ready to
vomit. What do you think?"
	"Sounds good to me. But you ARE underage mister."
	"Oh please," I laughed. "It's my party, now drink your shot."
	We clanked our glasses together, tilted our heads back and poured
the whiskey into our mouths. I immediately felt the burn as I swallowed it
down, sending shivers throughout my entire body. I hated the taste of
whiskey, it was some nasty shit. But for the purpose of getting completely
wasted, there wasn't anything better.
	"Ewwww," Matt muttered, putting his glass back down. "Man I felt
that," he laughed.
	"Me too," I blurted, my face still squinting from the taste. "That
stuff is terrible. Bartender, another please!" I laughed.
	After sitting at the bar another hour, Matt and I must have had
twelve shots between the two of us. Certainly more than enough to make us
both completely drunk. The faces started to run together as more people
came over to wish me a happy birthday. All I knew was that I was REALLY
thrilled to see everyone, shaking hands, dishing out hugs, responding
enthusiastically when they talked. I was one giddy drunk.
	Another hour passed while I sat and chatted with Matt and the
barrage of faces that came before me. I was looking out on the dance floor,
watching the people move, when Madonna's "Ray of Light" suddenly came
blaring over the speakers. If there was ever a song to dance drunkenly to,
it was this one.
	"Come on Matt, get up," I said, hopping off the stool and grabbing
his arm.
	"Where are we going?" he asked, reluctantly following me as I
yanked him to the middle of the dance floor.
	"It's time to shake your money maker baby, get to work."
	The effect of the music and the alcohol was completely
intoxicating, we started dancing like wild men while the rest of the crowd
looked on and cheered. Matt moved closer to me, turning around and wiggling
his ass dangerously close to my crotch. Suddenly he pressed against me,
grinding his heart out as the song continued.
	"Matt, we're in public babe," I warned him, backing off a little.
	"Who cares?" He backed up again, trying to press against me.
	"I care, I have to work with these people in the morning," I
laughed.
	"Alright," he replied, moving to a decent distance away from
me. "I'll give you a private dance later then."
	"Whatever you say, horny bastard," I joked.
	The song finally came to an end and the crowd went crazy for the
both of us. I wanted to dance some more, but I had a feeling that I'd end
up puking all over the floor if I didn't stop now. I went back to the bar,
ordering another two shots before I was ready to call it a night.
	"Ready for the final shot of the evening?" I asked as Matt sat down
next to me.
	"Ready as I'll ever be, give it here."
	The bartender sat the whiskey down, and a moment later we were
tilting our heads back and downing it. It went down much easier the seventh
time than it did the first, I hardly felt a thing. I knew it was time to
stop though, before I ended up praying to the porcelain gods for the rest
of the night.
	"Okay, party is over," I announced. "Birthday boy is going home."
	I got up from the stool with Matt following me, stumbling over to
some friends to say goodbye. I told the guys from the set that I'd see them
in the morning, and walked over to Love just before I hit the door.
	"I'm out of here Love," I blubbered, giving her a hug. "Thanks for
a great party."
	"No problem," she smiled, obviously amused by my drunkenness. "Can
you get back to the hotel alright?"
	"Yep, it's like two blocks away, I can walk it. And Matt will help
me out."
	"Okay, you're sure?" she asked.
	"Positive. I'll see you tomorrow."
	"If you can wake up," she laughed. "Goodnight."
	"Night."
	We walked out of the club and into the crisp night air, making our
way toward the hotel. I was all over the sidewalk, far beyond being able to
walk in a straight line. And suddenly EVERYTHING seemed hilarious to me. I
was laughing at street signs, cars driving by, the off duty lights on taxi
cabs...I was ready to start rolling on the sidewalk after the first block.
	"Matt, why the fuck didn't Ben come?" I blurted, my laughter
stopping for a moment. I suddenly felt angry thinking of the explanation I
was told earlier. "He couldn't take a flight? Bullshit."
	"That's what he told me," Matt muttered, stumbling along next to
me. "Who cares, we had a good time anyway."
	"Yeah I know. His loss for tonight. It just pisses me off."
	"I can make you forget all of that."
	"Oh really?" I asked as we approached the front doors to the
hotel. "How would you do that?"
	"You'll see," he replied, grinning evilly.
	My mind was too far gone to comprehend what the hell Matt was
implying, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get to my room and go to
sleep. My stomach was starting to do flips, and I knew I was getting to the
point where I'd either have to puke or pass out. We walked into the lobby,
trying our hardest to look somewhat sober as we walked to the elevators. I
didn't need the front desk giving me shit, or calling up any tabloids to
sell stories of my drunken soiree.
	"Did you get a room here too?" I asked as the elevator doors
closed.
	"Yep, same hotel," he mumbled, leaning against the wall.
	"What floor?"
	"Your floor."
	"Okay, whatever."
	I pushed the button for the eleventh floor, not realizing that
there wasn't any way Matt could know what floor I was on. The elevator
started it's ascension, coming to a stop a few moments later. We stepped
into the hallway, Matt walking right next to me.
	"Damn, I'll sleep good tonight," I laughed, digging my room key
from my pocket.
	"Me too," he replied as he swerved along the hall.
	I stopped as we came to my door, turning to say goodnight.
	"So which room are you in?"
	"Huh?" he muttered.
	"Where's your room?" I asked again.
	"Come on David, don't give me that shit." A smile formed on his
face.
	"What are you talking about?" I was genuinely confused.
	"You know you want this as much as I do," he grinned, stepping
closer. I took a step back, my back nearly against the door.
	"Want what?"
	"Don't play dumb." He put his hands on the wall on either side of
me, blocking me in.
	"I'm not. You remember Rick right? And Ben? How drunk are you?"
	"Just as drunk as you are. And they're not here remember?"
	"Matt," I hesitated, "don't do this."
	"Do this you mean?"
	His body pushed into me without warning, slamming my back against
the door with a thud. I felt his lips press against mine, his tongue slip
into my mouth. I was trying to speak, to push him off. My head started
swirling, dizziness taking me over. All I could feel was his breath against
mine, his tongue probing me, his hands grabbing my crotch.
	I felt the door give way behind me and I fell flat on my back, my
body in the hotel room and my feet out in the hallway. Matt landed right on
top of me, and if I wasn't completely wasted I would have felt my head
whack the carpet. How did the door open? I opened my eyes, the ceiling
dancing around above me. Ben was standing there, looking down over me.
	"Ben?" I murmured, a look of confusion forming on my face.
	That was all I could manage to say before the alcohol finally took
me over, engulfing me in blackness. I passed out.

Part 12

	I opened my eyes about eight hours later, my head pounding as I
lifted myself slowly off the pillow. I glanced over at the clock, it was
seven in the morning, thankfully leaving me an hour to get ready and drag
myself to work. I felt terrible, my head falling back on to the pillow as
the events of the night slowly replayed in my mind. What I remembered of
them anyway.
	I heard a sound coming from near the bed, some sort of conversation
going on. I rolled over and saw that Ben was sitting in the chair watching
TV, Good Morning America or some shit like that. Suddenly I was remembering
the night before more clearly...Matt kissing me in the hallway, Ben
appearing from nowhere and my passing out on the floor.
	 "Hey," I muttered, realizing that Matt was nowhere to be seen in
the room.
	"Good morning," he replied, turning in his chair. There wasn't a
smile anywhere near his face.
	"I think I drank too much last night." I sat up in bed, a master at
stating the obvious.
	"I'd say. I spent most of the night holding you over the toilet so
you could throw up whatever the fuck you'd been drinking."
	"I threw up?" I asked, the memory completely vanished from my mind.
	"Yep," he said coldly. "It wasn't exactly the evening I had planned
for."
	"I thought you were still in L.A." I rubbed my eyes, trying to
ignore the pounding in my head. I could tell he was extremely pissed, and
the last thing my hungover ass felt like doing was arguing.
	"Obviously you did, that explains why you were about to fuck Matt
last night. How long HAS that been going on anyway?"
	I could see and feel his eyes burning into me. I couldn't believe
what I was hearing.
	"What?" I asked, completely shocked. "I was NOT about to fuck Matt,
nor have I ever or WILL I ever fuck Matt. Is that what he told you? Where
is he anyway?"
	"He had a flight to catch early this morning. And no, that's not
what he told me. He told me he had no recollection of making out with you
in the hallway." Ben smirked, obviously finding that explanation
ridiculous.
	"Listen Ben, please." I moved to the edge of the bed, sitting so I
was closer to his chair. "I can explain last night, it was NOT what it
looked like."
	"Then you better start explaining David, cause I was up half the
night asking myself why my boyfriend and my best friend would want to fuck
around behind my back," he said, averting his eyes from mine and staring at
the floor. "I don't even know if I want your explanation."
	"Ben, PLEASE listen to me," I begged, leaning closer to him. "Matt
came for my birthday party, we had WAY too much to drink, he offered to
walk me back to the hotel. He said he had a room here too, on the same
floor...which sounds so stupid, but I was too drunk to realize it. We got
up here and he forced himself on me, and before I could push him away you
opened the door and saw us. That was IT Ben, it wasn't some premeditated
plot to cheat on you."
	"Forced himself on you huh?" Ben asked, not really sounding mad or
relieved at the moment.
	"Yes, and I swear I wouldn't cheat on you. I never would, no matter
how much I had to drink, or what big shot movie star forced himself on me,
I would NOT do it." I was practically on the verge of tears, just hoping he
would believe me.
	"David," he said, moving over so he was sitting next to me on the
bed. "I trust you more than anything. If you say that's what happened, I
believe you. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions and accusing you of
things. I was just so upset..." he trailed off.
	"I know. And you can't be pissed at Matt for this either."
	"I can't?" he asked, sounding shocked. "You said yourself that he
forced himself on you."
	"I know, but he'd had like seven shots of whiskey Ben! That's not
the sort of shit he would do sober, and maybe he really doesn't remember
it."
	"So you're going to defend him huh?" Ben asked.
	"I'm not defending what he did, I'm just saying that he was really
out of it when it happened. I guess it's up to you if you want to hate him
for it."
	"I don't know," Ben muttered, not wanting to think about it. "I'll
talk to him when I get back home. A good, LONG talk, and if he's lucky he
won't end up with any broken limbs."
	"So when are you going back home?" I asked, changing the
subject. "And what are you doing here in the first place?"
	"Well," he started, wrapping his arm around my back, "I was HOPING
we could have a little birthday party of our own last night. And I wanted
to surprise you, which is why I didn't tell Matt about it. But instead I
had the pleasure of holding your head over the toilet...not the biggest
turn on," he laughed.
	"Shit, I'm sorry. How about we make up for it tonight?"
	"We could, except my plane leaves in a few hours and I have a
studio meeting tonight."
	"Well fuck," I said, mad at myself for missing what could have been
a great opportunity the night before. "How about right NOW? You and me,
here and now," I blurted out with a smile.
	"Oh boy," Ben laughed. "Baby, you're hungover as hell, your breath
still smells like puke, you probably have a pounding headache, and you have
to be at work in forty-five minutes. I think we should just hold off on the
celebrating til you come home next week."
	"Are you sure we can wait that long?" I asked.
	"Well you'll have to, but I'll go home and fuck Matt til you
return," he said jokingly.
	"OUCH!" I yelled, busting up laughing at the same time. "That one
was pretty low."
	"I just had to get ONE of those out of my system, other than that
you're forgiven," he laughed.
	"Okay, I guess you deserve one."
	"I thought so too," he smiled. "Now go get in the shower and come
out looking beautiful as always."
	"Are you saying I'm not sexy when I wake up hungover?" I asked,
standing up and making my way to the bathroom.
	"Well, it IS cute in a weird way, but only cause it's you."
	"Awww, well that one makes up for the Matt comment." I started
removing my clothes as I stood in the bathroom doorway, getting naked in
front of Ben. "You're SURE you don't want to shower with me huh?"
	"Boy, close that door right now," he laughed. "Or else I'll miss my
flight and you won't make it to work in this millennium."
	"Alright," I sighed reluctantly, turning the shower water on. "But
when I get home we're not leaving the bedroom for a straight week, got it?"
	"Deal."

			* * *

	"So do you want to do these?" Linda asked over the telephone.
	"I'm supposed to catch a plane in like three hours," I muttered,
sitting on the set between shots. It was finally my last day on the film,
and now my agent had called, three days before the Oscars, trying to set up
some press interviews for the next week.
	"Well the flight to L.A. can be pushed back," Linda replied,
ruffling through some papers on the other end of the line. "Letterman would
really like you to do his show today, while you're in town. As would Conan
O'Brien. Leno wants you sometime next week, and Barbara Walters wants to
interview you for her post Oscar show. Those two film in L.A. though, so
you won't be far from home."
	I let out a sigh, thinking for a minute about what I wanted to
do. I really wanted to get home to Ben, but I knew that being an actor and
an Oscar nominee meant doing these sorts of shows. I was learning quickly
that the trappings of fame weren't necessarily all they were cracked up to
be.
	"Okay," I hesitated, "I'll do Letterman and Conan after I'm done
filming today, book me on the red eye back to L.A. tonight, and schedule
Leno and Barbara for sometime next week. I need some time to rest when I
get home, plus I'm moving, so I want a few days of peace if that's
possible."
	"I can probably book Leno next week," Linda replied
professionally. I could tell by her tone that her next sentence had bad
news written all over it. "But the Oscars are in three days, and Barbara
will need to film your interview at least a day before that."
	"Alright," I sighed heavily. "Today is Thursday, I'm keeping
tomorrow to myself, book Barbara for Saturday, and Leno next week okay?" I
was trying my best not to sound as agitated as I felt.
	"No problem David. I'll call you later with your flight info
alright?" Linda asked, sounding positively chipper.
	"Alright, bye."
	I hung up the receiver, only to pick it up a second later to dial
Ben's number. I heard him pick up after about four rings or so.
	"Hello," he said, sounding slightly out of breath.
	"Hey baby," I replied. "Why are you breathing heavy?"
	"Oh, I was taking a shit, but I heard the phone ring and I thought
it'd be you, so I ran in here with my pants around my ankles," he laughed.
	"Um, alright," I laughed. "I can't figure out if that's an
attractive thought or just plain nasty."
	"Well I finished in there, but I left my pants around my ankles
just for you," he said evilly.
	"Ahh, then that is attractive. I have some bad news for you."
	"Oh great," he said sarcastically.
	"Yeah, tell me about it. Linda wants me to do Letterman and Conan's
shows before I leave New York tonight, so I'm going to catch the red eye. I
probably won't be home til really late, so don't wait up."
	"Damn," he muttered, the disappointment heavy in his
voice. "Alright, do what you have to. How will you get home from the
airport?"
	"I'll take a cab or something, it won't be a problem. And I
guarantee I'll be in bed next to you when you wake up in the morning," I
said, a smile on my face.
	"That's the best guarantee I've heard in at least a month or
so. You better keep that one."
	"You have my word," I promised.
	"Don't forget, I want to take you to see the new house tomorrow
afternoon. I think you'll love it."
	"I'm sure I will, as long as it's just the two of us living in it."
A second later I saw the director waving me over to the set. "Shit, I have
to go. Duty calls."
	"Okay, I'll just pull my pants back up now," Ben laughed.
	"Don't get me started boy. I love you, I'll see you in the
morning."
	"I love you too, bye."

	"That's a WRAP!!" Robert yelled across the set, the last take of
the shoot finally completed.
	"Hallelujah, praise Allah, kiss Buddha's belly, get me the hell out
of here," I joked, collapsing in the nearest chair.
	"Great job everybody," Robert continued. "For those of you who want
to join us, there will be a wrap party down at Morton's in about an hour. I
hope to see all of you there."
	Robert walked toward me as the rest of the cast and crew quickly
scattered, eager to gather up their belongings and get ready for the party.
	"It was a pleasure working with you David," he said, extending his
hand.
	"You too Bob," I smiled, shaking his hand. "I wish I could go to
the party, but Oscar publicity calls."
	"Ah, the perils of being a big star," he joked. "You're a good kid
David, and you have a hell of a lot of talent. Keep your head on straight
and you'll definitely go far."
	"Thank you," I smiled. "I'll see you in a few months right? When
it's time for the movie premiere and publicity and everything."
	"Of course. Good luck." He shook my hand one last time before
walking off and disappearing in the crowd.
	I got up from my chair, walking towards my trailer to gather my
things while I checked my watch. I had to be at the Letterman studio in
about an hour, which hardly seemed like enough time to rush back to my
hotel and change. Why did it seem like I was always in a hurry?
	"David, wait up!" I heard a voice yell out behind me.
	I turned to see Love jogging towards me. I had almost forgotten to
say goodbye with all the hysteria surrounding the day.
	"Hey Love, I almost forgot you," I laughed.
	"Oh thanks. Trying to sneak out of here without saying goodbye
huh?"
	"Well, I was TRYING," I joked.
	"You wouldn't have made it far, not once I released the hounds on
you," she laughed, catching her breath from the jog.
	"I would've remembered before that," I retorted, smiling. "I had a
really great time working with you. And I don't just mean that in the
standard, 'say goodbye to a costar' kinda way."
	"You were great too. And it was great getting to know you, thanks
for keeping me sane."
	"No, thanks for keeping ME sane. I don't know what I would've done
if you hadn't been here to listen to me ramble on. Rambling IS my specialty
you know," I laughed.
	"No need to tell me," she joked. "So give me a hug and then I'll
let you get back to your man."
	I gave her a quick hug, promising to call her once I got back to
L.A. and got settled in my new place. We said our goodbyes and I marched on
to my trailer, grabbing my clothes and personal nick knacks, packing them
up and throwing them in the car. I sped back to the hotel, changed clothes,
and quickly hightailed it down to the Late Show studio, just in time to
make my appearance.
	The next couple hours went by quickly. First Dave interviewed me,
chatting it up about "Twisted Innuendo", discussing "Dead to the World",
and mainly talking about what it was like to have an Oscar nomination at
the ripe old age of twenty. I hung around after my interview to meet the
Backstreet Boys, who were the musical guests that night. I obviously lucked
out, what gay man wouldn't want to meet the Backstreet Boys?
	Next up was Conan, which I thought was more fun, except for the
fact that there were no boy bands present. He asked me some of the same
questions, but I also got to participate in a skit with the infamous
Pimpbot character, which just made my night. After all, what gay man
wouldn't want to work with Pimpbot?
	By the time I went back to the hotel, packed up my suitcases,
checked out, and made it to the airport, it was nearly midnight. I boarded
the plane, collapsing into my seat, buckling my seatbelt, and closing my
eyes. I was out cold before the takeoff.

	I checked my watch as the taxi pulled up to the house hours later,
it was nearly two AM Los Angeles time. There were no lights on inside, and
no sounds outside except for the engine of the cab revving as it drove
off. I dragged my suitcases to the front door, absolutely exhausted,
digging my keys out of my pocket and fiddling through them.
	I pushed the door open a moment later, welcoming myself into the
pitch black living room. I flipped on the light in an instant, and the next
thing I saw caused me to let out a maddening shriek of surprise. It must
have echoed throughout the entire house.
	There were Matt and Rick, on the couch, wearing absolutely nothing,
going at it like a couple of wild animals. Matt was pounding Rick's ass the
second I flipped on the light, and once I screamed, the two of them
screamed in unison. I averted my eyes quickly, covering them with my hand
while they hurdled over the couch, hiding behind it for protection.
	"What the FUCK are you guys doing?" I yelled, still afraid to look
near the couch. "Don't you have a bedroom? Jesus."
	"David quiet down dammit!" Matt hushed from behind the couch. "I
thought you weren't coming home til tomorrow!"
	"Well you were certainly mistaken." I finally got the nerve to move
my eyes back to the couch, and thankfully all I saw was two heads poking
out from behind it.
	"What the hell happened out here?" I heard Ben say from the
hallway, obviously awakened by the commotion. He stumbled into the front
room in his boxers, completely oblivious, rubbing his eyes. First he
focused on me, then at the couch where I was staring. "Jesus! What were you
two doing?" he screamed, spotting Matt and Rick.
	"Oh my god," Rick muttered, red from embarrassment.
	"Don't you have a room for this shit Matt?" Ben asked, trying not
to bust up laughing. "You probably blinded my boyfriend!"
	"I think so. Where's my seeing eye dog, somebody help me!" I yelled
dramatically.
	"Guys," Matt interrupted. "I know you think this is funny, but
could you PLEASE leave the room so we can come out from behind the couch?"
	"Who's making all the noise out here?" Another voice came from the
hallway, this time it was Casey who stumbled out. "David! Great to see you
again man."
	I smiled and nodded, motioning with my eyes for him to look over at
the couch.
	"Holy shit!" he screamed, his eyes widening. "Matt, I watch TV on
that couch goddammit!"
	I couldn't help but lose it after that one, I started laughing
hysterically while Matt and Rick kept turning deeper shades of red. Ben
walked over to me, laughing his ass off and wrapping his arm around me.
	"Don't you two have a room for this shit?" Casey asked, motioning
down the hallway toward Matt's open door.
	Both guys bolted from behind the couch an instant later, streaking
down the hallway and slamming the door to Matt's bedroom. Casey lost it
once he saw their naked asses flying like the wind, going into fits of
laughter with the both of us.
	"Ben," I said, regaining my composure for the moment. "We
DEFINITELY need to move out, STAT."
	"No shit." He started laughing harder, tears running down his face.
	"Oh man," I muttered, catching my breath. "And I thought the
streets of New York were scary."

Part 13

	I woke up the next morning wrapped tightly in Ben's arms, feeling
safer and more content than I had in a month. Being with him must have
helped me sleep better, because I was expecting a nightmare filled night of
tossing and turning after the living room horror show I had been greeted to
when I came home. Thankfully those thoughts were light years from my mind
at that moment.
	"It's about time you woke up," Ben whispered in my ear.
	"That was the best I've slept in a month, I wanted it to last
awhile." I rolled over, facing him and wrapping my arm around his back.
	"It's almost eleven o'clock, time to go see the house." Ben gave me
a quick kiss, his hand rubbing my back.
	"Right now?" I whined, placing my hand on the crotch of his
boxers. I found his cock, rubbing it through the silky material.
	"Mmmmm..." Ben moaned, closing his eyes. "Yes, we have to go now
baby. We'll get to that."
	"We haven't gotten to it in about a month," I complained, removing
my hand.
	"I know. That's why I don't want to rush it when we do. Don't
worry, you won't have to wait that much longer," he laughed.
	"Fine fine," I sighed mockingly. "But it's gonna be brutal when I
release this month's worth of frustration."
	"Oh I'm counting on it," he laughed. "Now get up and let's head out
of here."

	"This is amazing," I said, my eyes widening as we walked into the
front room of the house.
	It had taken us about a half an hour on the freeway to arrive at
the place, and I knew I loved it the instant Ben's jeep pulled up to the
curb. It was a one story, huge grassy front yard, plenty of trees, with a
long winding walkway that lead to the front patio. It was exactly what I
had in mind...not something huge, but something nice, private, and away
from the rest of the world.
	"So you like it?" Ben asked as we toured the inside. I could tell
from the tone in his voice that he was praying I'd say yes.
	"It's great," I replied, still in awe as we walked from room to
room. "Already furnished too huh?"
	"Yep, took care of the furniture," he said nonchalantly.
	"Well, I love it," I said, finally taking my eyes off the place and
turning to him.
	"It's not done yet, I have to show you what sold me on the place."
He turned, heading toward the sliding glass door that led to the back
patio.
	"What, is there a heart shaped bed?" I laughed.
	"No, nothing that tacky." He slid the door open, stepping outside
and waving me to follow.
	I stepped outside, the sun beating down as Ben led me down a path
that formed between two rows of trees. It looked to be made out of
cobblestones, which just thrilled the shit out of me for some reason. Once
the path ended and the trees disappeared, I could see the span of the
backyard. It was beautiful, with a huge pool in the middle, a hot tub next
to it, and walls tall enough to keep any curious eyes away from the
place. Or curious paparazzi for that matter.
	"I don't know what to say," I mumbled, at a loss for words as I
stood in front of the pool.
	"Just say you love it, and you love me, then I'll be satisfied."
	"I love it, and of course I love you even more." Ben came up behind
me, resting his head on my shoulder as his arms wrapped around my waist.
	"You're sure you love me?" he asked innocently.
	"What kind of question is that? Of course I'm sure."
	"Really sure?" he asked again.
	"Yes, really sure," I chuckled, not sure what his problem was.
	"Good. I just wanted to make sure before I did this."
	"Did what?"
	I didn't have time to react before Ben pushed me right into the
pool, sending me head first and soaking my fully clothed ass. I came up
from the water, laughing as I slicked my hair back and looked up at him,
still standing nice and dry on the edge of the water.
	"You little bitch!" I splashed water at him, watching as he laughed
his ass off.
	"I'm sorry baby, that was just TOO tempting." He busted up again
while I crawled out of the water, my shoes squishing as I walked toward
him.
	"You didn't expect to get away with that did you?"
	I smiled evilly, running towards him as he tried to bolt away from
the water. I managed to grab hold of his arm before he could escape, and
with one quick twist I sent him flying into the pool. He grabbed my hand
before he got soaked, sending me flailing back in with a splash on top of
him.
	"Victory is mine!" I yelled as I came up from the water, satisfied
that I wasn't the only one soaking wet in my clothes.
	"Now who's the bitch?" Ben laughed, catching his breath. "You know,
wet jeans are REALLY uncomfortable."
	"No shit." I smiled, swimming over and wrapping my arms around his
shoulders, my lips inches from his. "Better get them off then huh?"
	"Not a bad idea."
	Ben pressed his lips against mine, pulling me into a kiss as we
floated in the water, the morning sun pouring down all around us. I pushed
my tongue deeply into his mouth, running my hands down his back and
grabbing his ass, squeezing it and pulling him closer to me.
	"Let's get out of the water," Ben moaned, breaking the kiss. I
nodded, swimming quickly to the edge.
	I pulled myself out of the pool, Ben right behind me as I kicked
off my squishing shoes and soaked socks. I yanked my shirt off, tossing it
on to the cobblestone path while Ben stripped his off. My arms wrapped
around him again, our wet chests pressing together as our lips met. We
walked slowly back toward the house, not breaking the kiss until we got to
the sliding glass door. Ben pulled it open and we stumbled inside,
collapsing together on the floor, my body straddling his while his back
soaked the carpet.
	"I told you this was going to be brutal." I smiled seductively,
looking down at him while my fingers played with his nipples.
	"You better keep your word," he replied, his face contorting in
pleasure as his nipples got hard.
	"I plan on it."
	I stood up, quickly undoing my soaked jeans and yanking them off,
along with my underwear. I looked down at Ben, letting him admire my hard
cock before I sat back down, positioning my bare ass right on his bulging
crotch. I moved my hips back and forth slowly, teasing his covered hard
cock with my ass, rubbing against him roughly.
	"Oh David," he moaned, placing his hands on my hips.
	I continued my lap dance, feeling Ben's cock grow harder underneath
me. I started riding him faster, not slowing down until I heard him let out
a moan, knowing that he had just soaked the inside of his jeans with a jet
of precum.
	I moved my ass from his crotch, kneeling between his spread legs
and reaching my hands up to undo his jeans. I yanked them slowly from his
waist, revealing the outline of his rock hard cock present in his
boxers. It took me a moment to peel the wet jeans from his legs, and then I
tossed them aside, my eyes concentrating on the bulge before me. I moved my
hands up again, grabbing the waistline of his boxers and pulling them off,
leaving the two of us completely naked on the floor.
	My tongue moved along his inner thighs while his eyes stayed
fixated on me, my mouth moving closer to his crotch. I could hear him
moaning, his hands rustling through my hair while I took his balls between
my lips, sucking them, my tongue rolling them around in my mouth. After I
had them wet I ran my tongue slowly up the length of his shaft, stopping to
swirl around Ben's throbbing cockhead, his precum flowing on to my tongue.
	"Jesus David," Ben moaned, his hands rubbing my shoulders. "Take my
cock baby, please."
	I looked up and grinned at him.
	"I don't think so," I stated bluntly.
	"What?" he looked down at me, confused.
	"I'm not going to suck you," I replied, hesitating to leave him in
suspense. "You're going to fuck my throat."
	"Even better," he smiled, letting out a sigh of relief.
	I opened my mouth wide about an inch from Ben's cockhead, waiting
for him to take me. He placed his hands in my hair and quickly slammed my
head down on his dick, thrusting his hips at the same time and burying
himself inside me. I felt him slip past my gag reflex, a jet of precum
flowing down my throat, causing me to let out a moan that shuddered
throughout his body.
	Ben started bucking his hips quickly, repeatedly slamming the head
of his cock against the back of my throat. I reached underneath him without
warning, thrusting two fingers up his ass, causing him to scream out in
pleasure and pain. He started slamming his cock faster, my tongue darting
around the shaft while I finger fucked him.
	I moved my free hand down to my crotch, grabbing my own hard cock
and jerking it wildly while he face fucked me. I loved it, his balls
slapping my chin, my fingers probing inside of him.
	"I think I'm gonna blow David," Ben moaned loudly, his hands still
running through my hair.
	I pushed my mouth down on him and held his cockhead deep in my
throat, swallowing at the same time. My throat constricted around his
shaft, sending waves of pleasure throughout his body. He let out one last
moan before I felt his warm load covering the inside of my mouth, flowing
inside of me while his hips bucked wildly. I shoved my fingers deeper
inside of him, milking his throbbing cock of every last drop.
	"David, come up here," Ben whispered, still out of breath from his
orgasm.
	I removed my mouth from his still hard cock and pulled my fingers
from his ass, crawling up and straddling his chest. I stopped jacking off
and brought my shaft to his lips, watching as he opened his mouth and took
me all the way in. I moaned loudly, immediately feeling my precum flow
inside of him. It felt like heaven after being away from him for so
long. To know he was right there, that we were together.
	Ben's hand came up swiftly, slapping my ass and causing my hips to
buck faster, burying myself inside of him. He spanked me quickly two more
times, sending me right over the edge as my cockhead slipped to the back of
his throat. I moaned loudly, my balls tensing up and my cum exploding
inside of him. I could feel the sensations as he swallowed my load and my
body trembled, collapsing right on top of him as the last drops squirted
from my cock.
	"That was worth waiting a month for," I laughed, rolling off of Ben
and lying beside him.
	"Definitely." He moved on to his side, laying his head on my chest
and draping his arm across me.
	"I guess we christened the new house huh?" I smiled, my hand slowly
rubbing Ben's back.
	"Yes, NOW we can move in."
	"I love you Ben." I pressed my lips against the top of his head,
kissing him.
	"I love you too David."
	"This place is amazing. It'll just be me and you, peace and
quiet. I can't wait."
	"We can start moving tomorrow if you want. Rent a truck, Matt,
Casey, and Rick can help, it shouldn't take more than the afternoon."
	"Sounds good to me, but I have that damn Barbara Walters interview
tomorrow afternoon. Not to mention the fact that Mariette is flying in and
I have to take her dress shopping."
	"Damn boy, do you ever have a free day?" he asked, somewhat
serious.
	"Well there's today," I laughed. "Things will cool down after the
Oscars on Sunday, I promise."
	"I hope so," he sighed. "But I understand, I had to go through the
same shit after Good Will Hunting came out. It was a big factor of what
broke Matt and I up actually."
	"Really?" This was news to me.
	"Yeah. Too much stress, press interviews, media attention, it just
got unbearable after awhile. That was only one factor of course, but it was
a big one."
	"That won't happen to us," I muttered. I wasn't sure who I was
reassuring, him or myself.
	"I wouldn't let it, I love you too much for that."
	"Good." I smiled, pressing him tighter against me. "Where are our
clothes anyway?"
	"Spread out between here and the pool," he laughed. "But who needs
em? I say we spend the afternoon right here."
	"Works for me." A smile formed on my face as I pulled Ben closer to
me, finally where I belonged for the first moment in a long time.

Part 14

	I crouched, sitting the last of the numerous cardboard boxes on the
bedroom floor, before standing again and quickly collapsing on to the
bed. We had started the packing and moving at about five in the morning,
which was certainly Ben's idea, cause I'd never be crazy enough to
volunteer on my own to wake up THAT early. Now it was nearing noon, we were
finally done, and I had to prepare for the interview in four hours.
	"Finally run out of energy?" Matt asked, sticking his head in the
doorway.
	"Actually, I ran out around 5:10. Who knows what kept me standing
for the past six hours."
	"Ben does have a slice of the morning person's gene in him. I
should have warned you," he laughed.
	"Yeah, I could have used it. Come in and sit down a sec." I waved
him over, propping myself up on the edge of the bed.
	"Uh oh, bad news right?" He asked half seriously, sitting next to
me.
	"No, I just wanted you to know that I got a videotape of you and
Rick on the couch," I joked.
	"Oh shit, you'll NEVER let me live that down will you?" He was
blushing, my mission was complete.
	"Of course not, but at least I won't be rubbing it in every single
day now."
	"True, I guess this move does have it's advantages," he laughed.
	"Seriously though, I wanted to talk to you about that night at the
hotel." I stopped smiling almost immediately.
	"What about it?" he asked, sounding slightly defensive.
	"You didn't remember it huh?"
	"Well, I remembered part of the night. But getting to your hotel,
hitting on you, that part sort of vanished."
	"You can understand how that sort of sounds like BS right?"
	"Yes, I know that. But it isn't David." His voice was completely
sincere.
	"I'm not pissed at you or anything, it was just something that
should not happen again. Okay?"
	"It won't happen again. I'm limiting my shots of Jack to five while
in your presence," he laughed.
	"Good plan. So did you tell Rick about this?" I asked seriously.
	"Yeah, the night I got home from New York. He was pretty
understanding."
	"Obviously, from what I saw on our couch," I laughed.
	"Alright, enough of THAT." He was blushing again.
	"I just wanted to clear the air and put that little incident behind
us. So...enough about that." I sighed, thankful to have the past IN the
past.
	"Right. Rick and I are going to head out of here, I think you guys
can unpack all by yourselves," he replied, standing from the bed.
	"The way I procrastinate, these cardboard boxes will be sitting
here til the millennium."
	"Well, don't look at me," he laughed. "Unpacking is a hell you can
experience on your own."
	"Yeah, thanks."
	Ben helped to walk Matt and Rick to the moving van, which they said
they'd return to the rental place on their way home. I sat my ass down on
the couch, thinking about my schedule for the next couple of
days. Interview at four, Mariette's plane landed at five-thirty, dress
shopping, Oscars tomorrow night. Pre parties, post parties, press stops,
battling the ever annoying Joan Rivers while I walked down the red
carpet. I was getting stressed just sitting there thinking about it.
	"Guess what you get to do now?" Ben asked, sitting on the couch and
breaking my train of thought.
	"Ummm...flee the country with you and hide in a hut in India where
Barbara Walters will never find me?"
	"That'll be next week," he laughed. "Right now you get to go
grocery shopping."
	"Oh, lucky me," I replied, my voice monotone with unexcitement.
	"I know, it's a thrill. But it's either that or help me unpack."
	"Can't we just have wild sex or something?" I laughed.
	"When you get back, but I'm STARVING and there's nothing in the
house."
	"Eat me, eat me!" I teased.
	"Boy, get your ass to the grocery store," he laughed, pointing
toward the front door.
	"Alright, alright," I sighed in mock exasperation, standing off the
couch. "But I get to be dessert, deal?"
	"Deal."
	
	It took me about an hour to get all of the shopping done, and
thankfully I didn't get mobbed by any fans as I approached the checkout. I
wore a baseball cap and dark sunglasses in the store so I could avoid any
scenes. It was as far as I was willing to go, I wasn't about to throw on a
fake ZZ Top beard or anything like that.
	I stood in the line, which seemed to take ages. No matter how many
movies I did or how famous I got in my lifetime, I would always be stuck in
the SLOWEST line everywhere I went. It was a curse of some sort. I glanced
to my right and immediately spotted two teenage girls staring at me. I
recognized the look in their eyes...it was that "oh my gawd, is that REALLY
him??" look that I had seen on the faces of plenty of valley girls since
Twisted Innuendo came out. I smiled as they approached slowly, trying to
put their obvious nervousness at ease.
	"Are you David Preston?" the tall, blond girl asked. She had a mix
of terror and excitement on her face.
	"That's me," I answered quietly, still smiling. "But let's keep
that between us okay?" The last thing I wanted was a scene.
	The girls started jumping up and down together, silently screaming
before regaining their composure. I almost felt like running, but that was
a natural reaction that I hadn't had time to get over in the few months I'd
been a "celebrity".
	"We LOVE you," the other girl said excitedly, keeping her voice
low. "I really hope you win tomorrow night."
	"Thank you very much. I hope I win too," I laughed.
	"Could we have your autograph?" they asked in unison, before
looking at each other and bursting into a giggle fit.
	"Of course, no problem."
	I talked to the girls for a few more minutes while my line creaked
along, signing some papers of some sort that they had pulled from their
purse. Eventually they both asked for hugs and I complied, feeling probably
as strange as they did at that moment. I had never really been much of a
people person, so it was always odd when strangers came up wanting to hug
me. Once I got to the checkout and started unloading the groceries, they
ran off, telling me thank you about a thousand times before disappearing.
	I smiled, somehow feeling oddly happy about the incident as the
clerk started ringing up the food. I stood there, waiting for the total,
scanning the tabloids that I always found horribly amusing. The best were
the ones that had no shame. "200 pound 3 year old living in Iowa!" "Half
child, half bat stalking the streets of YOUR town!" "Man in Texas nearly
the size of an actual whale!" I couldn't help but laugh.
	That's when I saw it. It wasn't one of the insanely fictitious
papers sitting on the rack, it was one of the more "respectable" ones. The
kind that have dirt about celebrities, along with fashion tips, horoscopes,
crossword puzzles, and all that other crap that entertains bored housewives
during the day. And there I was, right on the cover.

"OSCAR'S GOLDEN BOY IN GAY SHOCKER!"

	That was the headline. My mouth dropped open, I started sweating,
my body temperature must have risen in a split second. I almost felt like
passing out. I grabbed the paper quickly, throwing it amongst my groceries,
trying to get my breathing in order. The checker gave me the total an
instant later, and I paid, walking quickly with my cart out the car.
	I loaded up the groceries, grabbed the magazine and sat in the
driver's seat, pouring over the article. I couldn't believe it. A guy I had
been on about three dates with in Vegas had actually SOLD his story to the
press. The article was all about this big illustrious love affair we had,
these supposed kinky sex things I was in to. None of which there was ANY
proof of. I wasn't in to THIS shit!
	I started the car, driving home as fast as possible, getting more
and more pissed and upset with each passing mile. I got to the house ten
minutes later and raced inside, leaving the groceries to sit in the back
seat. There was Ben, sitting on the couch, the magazine in his lap.
	"Where'd you get that?" I asked, standing in the foyer staring at
him.
	"Matt brought it back about ten minutes after you left. He stopped
at the convenience store..." he trailed off, awaiting my reaction.
	"I don't believe this!" I screamed, holding the paper in my
hand. "I don't fucking believe this!"
	"David, just calm down." Ben stood up, walking over to me, trying
to act as serene as possible.
	"Don't tell me to be calm!" I yelled, my face already flushed with
anger. "Did you read this shit?"
	"Yes, I read it."
	"And??"
	"What? Is it true?" he asked.
	"Is it TRUE?" I screamed back, my mouth open in disbelief. "How the
fuck can you ask me that? Of course it's not true!"
	"None of it?"
	"Well," I hesitated for a moment, making some small attempt to
regain composure. "I knew the guy, we went out on like three dates. It
wasn't like THIS, the asshole makes it sound we were the super couple of
the gay scene. Having sex in public...jesus!!"
	"Well, did you sleep with him?" Ben asked, still sounding perfectly
calm.
	That was the last straw.
	"Who gives a FUCK?" I screamed, throwing the paper halfway across
the front room. "Why would you ask me that? This was years ago, I slept
with him like one goddamn time."
	"David, calm the FUCK down," Ben yelled back. "This isn't a big
deal, nobody believes the shit they read in here!"
	"Nobody believes it huh?" I asked coldly. "Then why the hell was
the first question out of your mouth 'is it true?'"
	"Jesus David, you want to overreact a little more? It was just a
question!"
	"Yeah right, fuck you Ben."
	"Whatever," he muttered, walking to the table and grabbing his car
keys. He walked past me, toward the front door.
	"Where the hell are you going?" I asked, my voice still loud.
	"I'm going to the old house, I'm not dealing with you as long as
you're going to be an asshole."
	"Oh right," I said spitefully. "Run to your ex at the first sign of
trouble. Maybe you can fuck him while you're over there too."
	"Or at least make out with him, right David?" he said quietly,
staring right at me.
	"Leave," I said calmly. "Fucking leave!" I screamed, pushing him
out the front door and slamming it shut. I turned both locks and collapsed
against it, closing my eyes as I slid to the floor.
	I buried my head in my hands, catching my breath as the anger
subsided. I started crying for what seemed like an hour. Crying because of
that tabloid, crying over that stupid fuck I had dated, and mainly crying
over how I had just treated Ben. My hands were soaked by the time I was
done, my eyes beet red from the tears. And I had an interview in less than
three hours.

Part 15

	"You're with quite an esteemed group of actors. Edward Norton, Ryan
Phillippe, Omar Epps, Ewan McGregor. It must be a surreal experience to be
thrust into something like this with your first film."
	"It definitely is," I nodded, smiling at Barbara. "I really don't
expect to win, and I'd personally like to see Edward Norton take it home, I
think he's an amazing actor. So, as cheesy as it sounds, it is just an
honor to be nominated."
	"On a more personal note," Barbara smiled, "I know the women of
America are dying to know. How is your love life?"
	"Well, from what I've been seeing in the tabloids it's a lot more
adventurous than I thought," I laughed, not hesitating for a moment. "But
yes, I am seeing somebody."
	The interview continued for about thirty more minutes, and though
Barbara is famous for bringing grown men to tears, I held it all together
rather well. I think I had run out of tears in the few hours before the
show. I still hadn't heard from Ben, and after the way I had acted, I
didn't know if I should expect to anytime in the near future.
	I went straight to the airport after the interview, picking up
Mariette and trying to hide from her the huge amount of stress I'd been
going through that day. We went out to dinner, then had to spend the rest
of the evening finding her a dress for the big ceremony and getting it
fitted. It wasn't the most thrilling two hours I had spent in my lifetime,
so I was glad when it was finally time to head back home.
	"You know David, you look like shit," she blurted as I drove to the
house.
	"Oh thanks," I laughed. "Where did THAT come from?"
	"Something's wrong, you've been acting weird all night. You're not
going Hollywood on me are you?" she asked, half joking.
	"Meaning am I a self involved, pill popping egomaniac? Not just
yet."
	"So," she paused for a moment, "cut the bullshit and tell me what's
wrong."
	Of course, I should have known better than to try hiding anything
from her.
	"I had a huge argument with Ben earlier. I was an asshole and he
stormed out. So there's that, and the fact that I've probably developed a
stomach full of ulcers in the past few months from all this stress."
	"Ah, well that explains why you kept avoiding the question of when
I'd get to meet him. What did you argue about?"
	"I can't say it was between us, it was mainly just me being an
asshole," I laughed. "Do you remember Jason?"
	"Jason..." she mulled the name over in her head for a few
seconds. "You mean that guy you dated for like two seconds a couple years
ago?"
	"Yep, that one. Guess who sold his very much elaborated story to
the tabloids?"
	"No way," she muttered, her face in shock. "That asshole."
	"My thoughts exactly. So I saw the magazine at the grocery store,
flipped out, brought it home, and then I just lost it."
	"Well, you shouldn't have taken your months worth of stress out on
him."
	"I know I shouldn't have, but I did. So uh, don't be surprised if
you never meet him okay?" I managed a slight laugh.
	We pulled up to the house a few minutes later, still no sign of
Ben's jeep outside. I led Mariette in, giving her the full tour and
managing to concentrate on just the two of us for awhile. We sat around by
the pool, talking and drinking for a couple of hours, which was probably
one of the best times I'd had in awhile. It was so far removed from that
scary Hollywood world that was plaguing me, and for once I felt just like I
was back in Vegas again.
	Once the evening had wound down I showed her to the guest bedroom,
which had nothing in it yet except for a bed. She seemed content enough, so
I went into my room, being careful to step over the cardboard boxes still
strewn around the floor, and collapsed into bed. The first night in our new
house and here I was, sleeping alone. I had really made a mess this time
around.

	I woke up early the next morning, the sun shining through the
blinds as I rolled over, noticing that Ben still hadn't come home. I sat
up, wiping the sleep from my eyes as I reached for the telephone. As much
as I wanted to be patient and just wait for him to come around, I couldn't
stand it anymore. I dialed Matt's number.
	"Hello," I heard Casey say, sounding like I had just woken him up.
	"Casey, is Ben there?" I asked, trying to sound as calm as
possible.
	"I'm right here." I heard a voice behind me.
	I turned and saw Ben standing in the doorway, looking about as
exhausted as I felt. I hung up the phone and stared at him in silence for a
moment.
	"I didn't know if you were coming back." I managed to say, though
it was barely audible.
	"That makes two of us then."
	"Can we talk about yesterday?" I asked, hoping it wasn't already
too late.
	"Go ahead," he muttered, walking closer to the bed.
	"Well, I'm really sorry. Especially for what I said about Matt,
because that was just a low blow. And also for how I flipped out." I paused
for a moment, letting out a sigh. "There's just been all this stress lately
you know? Finishing the movie, being away from you, the press, the
interviews, the Oscars, I've been trying so damn hard to adjust in the past
few months. Sometimes I feel like I'm just going to lose it, that I'm not
cut out for this shit."
	I buried my head in my hands, not looking at him as I felt the
tears start to well up inside of me. A moment later I felt him sitting next
to me, his arm around my back, pulling my head toward his chest.
	"I'm just so scared I'll lose myself," I said, the tears starting
to run now as he held me. "And even worse I'm afraid that I'll lose you in
the process."
	"It's okay David, I'm not going anywhere," he whispered, rubbing my
back while my face soaked his shirt. "I can tell you what one of your major
problems has been."
	"What?" I asked, still crying.
	"You're trying to adjust to all of this by yourself. It's like you
think that since I've already been there and done that, that now it's your
turn to fight the big fight. But David," he paused, leaning closer to
me. "This is US. WE will adjust to this, we will handle this. You don't
have to do anything on your own."
	I sat up, wiping my eyes and looking at him, a small smile on my
face.
	"I don't know what to say."
	"Just say that you know that we can do this, and I'll be happy."
	"I know that we can do this." I sighed, a wave of relief passing
over me as I sat there next to him, feeling more confident and protected
than I had in a long time.
	"I'm sorry too by the way. My Matt comment was much lower than
yours."
	"Well, I can't argue there," I laughed. "But apology accepted, I
deserved it by that point."
	"True." He smiled, leaning closer to me. "Now give me a kiss to
make up and then you can introduce me to Mariette."
	I closed my eyes, bringing my lips to his, opening my mouth
slightly to allow his tongue to probe my mouth. We kissed like that for at
least a couple of minutes before pulling away.
	"Did I tell you that I love you today?" I asked, a smile on my
face.
	"Hmmm...I don't think so. But even if you had, one more time never
hurts."
	"I love you Ben."
	"I love you too David," he smiled. "You know what I think we should
do?"
	"I think after the Oscars, and after we unpack this place, we
should take a vacation. I don't care where. Hawaii, the Bahamas, London,
Australia, Antarctica, it doesn't matter. Somewhere that we can kick back
and escape for a couple of weeks."
	"That sounds perfect," I smiled. "Well, not Antarctica really, but
the others sound great."
	"Good, it's a deal then. So are you ready to introduce me now or
what?"
	"Ready as I'll ever be," I sighed. "My best friend meeting my
boyfriend, this is bound to be interesting."
	"Yep, we can swap embarrassing stories about you for the next
couple days," he laughed.
	"Oh, lucky me," I said sarcastically. "Come on, let the horror
begin."

	Luckily for me, the colliding of my two separate worlds ended up
being less painful than I expected. I went and woke Mariette up and told
her to get dressed and come meet Ben out in the front room. I knew that if
I just dragged her out of bed in her pajamas to meet some "big celebrity"
that she would die of embarrassment, so I let her get prepared.
	The three of us sat around talking for at least a few hours, with
Mariette and Ben having more than a few laughs at my expense. I could tell
she was nervous around him at first, and I was definitely nervous just
having them around each other. It was like the two most important people in
my life coming together, and of course I wanted them to get along as well
as possible. After the awkward first ten minutes, I knew I'd have nothing
to worry about.
	In the afternoon we all decided to go have a "pre-Oscar party" with
Jeff, Rick, Matt and Casey. The party basically consisted of the seven of
us heading out to lunch at The Twilight, one of the trendier restaurants in
the city. Even though the big awards show was only a few hours away, for
once my mind wasn't filled with any sort of numbing stress. I felt right at
home, as did Mariette, who was seeing Jeff and Rick for the first time
since high school. Of course she was a little intimidated by Matt at first,
but that eased up once Ben, Casey and I told her about the little "couch
incident".
	About ninety minutes later I found myself standing in front of the
bedroom mirror, completely decked out in a black Armani tux, bow tie,
cufflinks, the whole package. I felt sort of uncomfortable since I had
never really worn one before, except when I was getting fitted for it in
the shop. My heart was beating slightly faster now as I realized that I
would soon be stepping out of a limo, surrounded by tons of celebrities,
and being broadcast to about a billion people around the world. It was time
to sweat.
	"You look beautiful," Ben said, stepping up behind me and wrapping
his arms around my waist.
	"You don't look so bad yourself." I smiled, seeing him in the
mirror with his tux nearly identical to mine.
	"Are you ready for this?" he asked. "It's your big night."
	"I'm ready," I said, taking a deep breath. "This entire thing is
sort of ironic though."
	"Why's that?"
	"Well, in high school I could barely get up to give a speech to my
class without doubling over in agony. Now I might have to give a speech to
a billion people, and it doesn't really worry me that much."
	"Times change don't they?"
	"Thankfully, yes," I laughed.
	"You better go check on your beard...I mean date," Ben muttered,
laughing.
	"She is NOT my beard dammit," I smiled. "But yes, I will go check
on her."
	"Alright. The limo should be here in ten minutes or so."
	I nodded, giving Ben a quick kiss before leaving the room and
knocking on Mariette's door across the hall.
	"Come on in."
	"Hey," I said, pushing the door open and sticking my head
in. Mariette was dressed in a sleeveless, maroon colored dress that went
down to the floor. Even Joan Rivers was going to have to love that one.
	"You look great. That dress definitely works for you."
	"And the necklace...and the heels...go on," she joked.
	"Yeah yeah, even Joan will swoon at your feet."
	"Oh good, then I can dig my heel into her face while she's down
there," she muttered, sounding diabolical as ever.
	"Yeah, the Oscar preshow catfight, I can't wait," I laughed. "So,
do you know what I'm in here for?" I stepped into the room, closing the
door behind me.
	"You want my opinion right?"
	Of course, she always could tell what my motives were, no matter
how well I thought I was hiding them.
	"Yes, but not on the tux," I laughed.
	"I think he's great," she smiled. "The two of you really seem to
have something special together. So yes, he gets the Mariette stamp of
approval."
	"Thank god," I laughed. "You know your opinion means a lot to me."
	"That's what I'm here for. Cause of course you'd have to dump him
right away if I didn't like him," she laughed.
	"Oh yeah," I said sarcastically, "I'd drop kick him out the front
door."
	"That's what I thought. So, are we ready?" she asked, taking one
last look in the mirror before turning and facing me. An instant later I
heard the limo honking outside.
	"That's our cue. Let's get out of here," I smiled.
	"Woo hoo," she cheered, "time to go meet Brad."
	I rolled my eyes and opened the bedroom door, stepping into the
hallway behind her.

	The walk up the red carpet was one of the most surreal things I had
ever been through. Ben and Matt decided to sneak in some back way, so they
could make it to their seats and prepare for the presenting that they had
to do later in the evening. They insisted that Mariette and I take the red
carpet walk though, saying that it was definitely an experience to have
ONCE.
	Every few steps we were stopped by reporters, who asked what seemed
like the SAME questions over and over again. People from Entertainment
Tonight, Hard Copy, Access Hollywood, MTV, VH1, E!, NBC, CBS, ABC, Fox, you
name it and they were there in line. Even though I attempted to avoid
colliding with Joan Rivers, it happened against my will. Thankfully it was
over with quickly, and Mariette didn't start any sort of wild brawl. She
didn't do much more than scowl at her the entire time, which I don't think
ol' Joan was thrilled about.
	Finally we made our way past the press and got inside the
auditorium, taking our seats. I had Mariette on one side of me and Ben on
the other, so I was more than prepared when the lights dimmed. It wasn't
long before Whoopi came out on stage and the show started.
	The opening musical sequence was slightly amusing, but my mental
state wasn't anywhere near prepared when my category came up about a half
an hour into the show. I expected to have a longer amount of time to
practice my breathing technique. Minnie Driver walked on to stage, reading
off the nominees, making some witty puns, and showing short clips from our
movies. My palms started to sweat, my face was flushed, my heart was
beating about a hundred times per second.
	"I'm going to have a heart attack," I whispered, leaning over to
Ben.
	"Me too," he laughed. "It'll be over in a minute baby."
	"And the Oscar goes to..." she said, slowly opening the envelope.
	Oh god, don't let it be me. Anyone but me, anyone but me, anyone
but me. I might have a heart attack if I win, or piss myself, that'd be
embarrassing.
	"Edward Norton!" she announced loudly, my heart slowly falling back
to a normal rhythm.
	"Oh my god, I didn't win," I whispered to myself, sitting there in
shock as I watched Edward go up to the podium. I was a little disappointed,
but mainly just relieved.
	"You okay?" Ben whispered.
	"Yeah, except that I'm still shaking like a druggie, I'm fine." I
had to keep remembering to breathe in and out.
	"There's always next year remember." He patted my knee, trying to
do his best to console me.
	"I know, but it's no biggie," I sighed. "I have decades to work up
to getting one of these."

	The show went on for a few more hours, and even the parts that I
usually channel surfed through at home seemed more exciting when I was
actually there. It was great to watch Matt and Ben get up there to present,
even though I knew that it bothered them both to be paired up together like
Siamese twins all the time. Mariette was also thrilled by the whole
ceremony, and the two of us kept ourselves entertained by seeing which
stars we could point out across the room.
	After the show, the four of us headed to the post Oscar bash that
Miramax was throwing. I lost Mariette the instant we stepped into the
crowded ballroom, and the last thing I heard was something about Brad
Pitt. I yelled back as she disappeared, warning her not to get into any
sort of catfight with Jennifer Aniston. The last thing I needed was THAT
all over the tabloids.
	We partied for a few hours, and I had a chance to mingle with some
of the heavy hitters in town. A lot of them said that they were interested
in sending me scripts and working with me, so I told them to contact
Linda. Apparently losing an Oscar still made you a hot commodity in
Hollywood.
	It didn't take long for the wee hours of the morning to roll in,
and it was time for me to head out of there before I passed out at my
table. Ben and I had to take about ten minutes to hunt down Mariette, who
was getting her groove on in the middle of the dance floor. Once we dragged
her away from her Vogueing, we headed out to the limo, dropping Matt off at
his place and then heading on home.
	"I am so tired," I muttered to no one in particular as we drove.
	"Me too," Mariette grumbled, half asleep as she sat across from us.
	"So, any luck finding Brad?" Ben asked, his arm wrapped around me.
	"Yes, I got to meet Brad, got his autograph, I can die a happy
girl."
	"No luck having his love child huh?" I asked.
	"I forgot to ask," she laughed. "Maybe next year."

	We made it to the house a half an hour later, and since Mariette
was out cold at that point it was my job to drag her inside and throw her
on her bed. I closed her bedroom door slowly, pulling my bow tie and jacket
off as I walked down the hallway, into the front room.
	I kicked off my shoes and socks by the couch, and suddenly heard
music start coming out of nowhere. The stereo was hooked up in the middle
of the room, and the sounds of Jewel's "Spirit" CD started to fill the air.
	"Can I have this dance?" Ben asked, standing behind me.
	"If I don't pass out from exhaustion first." I smiled, turning to
face him.
	"One dance, then you can pass out. Deal?"
	"Sounds good to me."
	I wrapped my arms around Ben's waist, laying my head on his chest
and letting him do the leading. We were both only wearing our slacks and
untucked, crumpled tux shirts. Half of the album seemed to pass by without
me even being aware of it.
	"Tonight was amazing huh?" he asked, breaking the silence between
us.
	"Yeah," I smiled. "And this is the best part of all."
	"You know I'm a sucker for flattery," he laughed.
	"It's not flattery, just the truth."
	"That's even better." He paused for a moment, pulling me closer as
we swayed back and forth. "So what now?"
	"Hmmm...I say we unpack, take a vacation, make some more movies,
get married, live happily ever after."
	"Get married huh?" he grinned.
	"Stranger things have happened."
	"Yes they have," he nodded. "Well, it all sounds good to me. But I
was actually talking about what you wanted to do right NOW," he laughed.
	"Oh," I paused. "I say we dance until Jewel gets done singing
'Jupiter', then go to bed and sleep til about noon tomorrow."
	"Sounds good to me," he said, resting his head on top of mine. "I
love you David, even if you didn't win an Oscar," he laughed.
	"I love you too Ben, just cause you won yours," I joked. "Now shut
up and dance boy, we don't have all night."
	"Nope, longer than that," he smiled.
	I nodded, closing my eyes as I rested my head against Ben's body,
listening to his heartbeat as we swayed back and forth. I could feel him
breathing, my head rising up and down with the rhythm of his chest. I
pulled him closer to me, letting myself drift off to the point where there
were no thoughts in my mind. Just the two of us, and the music.