Date: Wed, 5 May 1999 00:29:05 EDT
From: MindPieces <samuraisupremo@hotmail.com>
Subject: Afflecktion- Parts 9 and 10

Okay everybody, here it is! The final two chapters of Afflecktion. I'm
sorry for the long wait (like usual), but I found that this thing was
harder to end than I planned. I've grown quite attached to it over the
months. Just to let everyone know, a sequel or spin off in the future is
not out of the question, so e-mail me with any thoughts, comments, or
opinions at MindPieces <samuraisupremo@hotmail.com>. Since this is the
final installment, I feel I should give thanks where thanks is due. First
off I want to thank Allen, the best snatch I know. If it wasn't for his
story 'Bad Boy B-Rok', as well as his constant bitching to stop my
procrastination, this never would have existed in the first place. I'd also
like to thank Jeff, Rick, and Mariette for allowing me to take them and
portray them to the best of my ability.  You guys mean the world to me. And
last, but certainly not least, I have to thank Ben, wherever he may be. For
being such a wonderful, beautiful person, and inspiring me to share all my
deepest fantasies and desires. I love all you guys. And with those words
done, read on!


Afflecktion- Part 9		

	The buzzing of the alarm woke me up with a start the next morning,
causing my eyes to open almost immediately. I reached over and turned off
the screeching sound as quickly as possible before collapsing again on to
the bed. I looked at the clock: 6 A.M. I'd gone to sleep less than five
hours ago, and now I had to get up to prepare for the day when I would go
back home. Suddenly falling back to sleep sounded like quite an option.
	I rolled over to see if the noise had disturbed Ben's sleep, but to
my surprise, he wasn't there. Just a dent in the pillow where his head had
been the night before. Maybe this was just a dream after all.
	I crawled out of bed, still wearing my briefs from the night
before, and walked out of the bedroom to search for him. I checked the
bathroom, the kitchen, the front room...not a trace. Unless he was in Matt
or Casey's bedroom (which I didn't feel a need to check), he must have gone
somewhere. I didn't give much more thought to it as I went in the bathroom
and started the shower, knowing he'd be back in two hours so we could leave
for the airport.
	I came out of the bathroom about forty-five minutes later, fully
dressed, washed, shaven, and all that good stuff. I went back in the
bedroom, still no sign of Ben or even any clues as to where he might have
disappeared to. No notes, just an empty bed in an empty room.
	I dragged my empty suitcases out of the closet and went about the
wonderful business of packing. It was strange how nothing seemed to fit the
same way as when I had arrived. It was like my clothes had multiplied or
something. It took another forty-five minutes of fighting with my luggage
and cramming all of my belongings in it to finally finish up. I put my
suitcases by the bedroom door and sat on the bed, checking the clock one
more time: 8:30.
	The bedroom looked strange to me now as I glanced around it, with
all traces of my stay there packed up in the corner. It didn't look like
home anymore, but more like a hotel room waiting to be vacated. My mind
wandered and my thoughts trailed, until a minute later when I felt a tap on
my shoulder. I turned to see Ben standing there.
	"Hey you," I said, smiling as I looked up at him.
	"Hey yourself," he replied, sitting on the bed next to me. "I see
you got all your packing done and everything."
	"Yep," I nodded, trying my best to fake a smile. "And where did you
go? Trying to pull another Houdini act on me?"
	"Not exactly. I took a walk to the beach and did a lot of
thinking," he said as he put his arm around my back. "I didn't sleep too
great last night."
	"Neither did I," I replied, putting my own arm around him.
	"I brought you back a present though. Nothing big really, but it's
the best I could think of."
	"A present? Now we're talking!" I laughed.
	Ben reached in to his pocket and pulled out a small jar, placing it
in my hands. I held it up, looking at the contents inside. I wasn't sure if
I was wrong on the contents or just missing the meaning...but it looked to
be a jar of sand.
	"You got me...sand for a present?" I asked, genuinely confused.
	"Well, no. I mean yes, it is sand. But it does have significance."
	"What is it?"
	"Well I was walking along the beach this morning, thinking about
how crazy and wonderful these last few weeks have been. I went to that spot
where we first made love and I sat there for hours. Before I got up I took
this jar and filled it with sand from that spot, so you could take it with
you. I thought maybe if you had that and looked at it back home, that it
would remind you of all of this. Remind you of me."
	I looked back down at the jar, speechless from Ben's explanation.
	"You hate it right? It's stupid I know..."
	"No it's not stupid. I love it," I whispered, a tear rolling down
my cheek. "It's probably the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given
me."
	"You mean that?" Ben asked, breathing a sigh of relief. "I know
most guys get a ring or something like that...but it just seemed too
conventional. And you've never been the conventional type."
	"That's for sure," I said, laughing and wiping the tears from my
eyes. "I love you Ben, thank you."
	"I love you too David." Ben leaned close, kissing me deeply on the
lips as his hand ran along my face, wiping the wetness from my cheek before
we pulled apart. "Can I ask you for a favor?"
	"Anything, you know that."
	"Will you make love to me?" Ben asked, laying down on his back and
looking up at me. "One last time before you go."
	I smiled and laid my body on top of his, our faces close.
	"You really had to ask?"
	I leaned down and closed my eyes, pressing my lips to his as our
clothed bodies began grinding together. I felt Ben's tongue enter my mouth,
probing and exploring until he found my own. I could feel the bulge forming
in his jeans as I pressed my crotch harder against his. His hands roamed
along my back, finding the bottom of my shirt and pulling it up over my
head.
	"So much for that good hair day," I said as I sat up, straddling
Ben's waist.
	"Still looks good to me," he replied, sitting up to kiss me.
	"No wait wait wait." I placed my hand on his chest, pushing him
down on his back again while I straddled him. "Let me do the work this time
okay? You just lay back and relax."
	"Are you sure?" he asked, looking up at me with those eyes of
his. They still made me want to melt, even after all this time.
	"Positive. Now lift up your arms."
	Ben did as he was told, lifting up his arms so I could take his
shirt and pull it over his head. I leaned down, bringing my lips to his
chest, kissing it all over. I stopped at each one of his nipples and took
them in my mouth...kissing, sucking, licking them one at a time. I could
hear Ben's moans, so close to my ears as I left his nipples and went
lower. My lips going down...down...down...
	My tongue entered in to his belly button, getting it wet as my
mouth neared the waistband of his jeans. Once I came to that barrier I used
my hands to unbutton and unzip them, and then began to kiss the outside of
Ben's boxers. I could feel his hardness inside, yearning to get out.
	"Ohhh David...David you're amazing."
	"Lift up your ass Ben, just a little bit."
	"Okay," he quickly replied, lifting up and allowing me to pull down
his jeans and his boxers. I tossed them on the floor beside the bed, and
stared down at his hard, naked body. I could hardly resist him anymore. I
stripped off the rest of my clothes and bent down, burying my face and
tongue in his pubic hair while he writhed around underneath me.
	My mouth opened wide and I took Ben's cock down my throat, causing
him to let out a moan that probably could have woken up Matt AND Casey. He
ran his hands through my hair as I started an up and down motion, my tongue
running along the underside of his eight inches.
	"Jesus David...this is like heaven," Ben moaned as he arched his
back and let his foot wander into my crotch. I could feel his toes
massaging my balls while I sucked him.
	After about a minute more of this, when I was sure the both of us
were ready to explode, I climbed back up on Ben, kissing him again on the
lips and laying on top of him.
	"I love this...just feeling you here under me. I wouldn't trade it
for anything," I said as I laid my head on his shoulder.
	"Neither would I. Not for anything."
	I reached over and grabbed the bottle of lube from off the
nightstand, opening it as I straddled Ben's waist once again. I poured some
in my hand and grabbed his cock, greasing it up while he looked into my
eyes. After that I took my finger, pushing it inside my own ass to get it
lubed up as well.
	I set the lube aside and took Ben's cock, lining it up with my hole
as I straddled him. I started to sit down on it very slowly, feeling a
little bit of pain mixed with the pleasure.
	"You okay?" Ben asked, taking my hand in his. "You sure you want to
do this?"
	"Definitely sure. I'm just not a pro at this yet, give me a
minute."
	I took the time and allowed my ass to adjust to the feel of Ben's
cock before lowering myself more. Finally, after a bit more work, I could
feel it enter all the way in. I started moving myself up and down, slowly
at first...relishing the amazing sensation as that secret place inside me
was reached.
	"Ohhh Ben...ohhh yes."
	I started moving myself faster as I leaned down to kiss Ben. Our
tongues intertwined, our lips dancing. I felt his hand wrap around my cock
and start to stroke me. I knew I wasn't going to last much longer.
	"I love you David...I think I'm going to blow pretty soon."
	"Me too...do it inside me okay?"
	Ben nodded and placed his one free hand on my hip, lifting himself
off the bed so he was really pounding me. My body felt like it was a bundle
of nerves, with physical, mental, and emotional sensations happening all at
once. It was an overwhelming experience.
	"Ohhh man...ohhhh David here it comes!"
	Ben pulled me down to kiss me just as I felt him begin to unload in
my ass. I could feel his warmth shooting deep inside me, and with his hand
still stroking me I couldn't take it any longer. I started releasing my own
load, drenching Ben's chest, as well as his hand. I collapsed on top of him
a moment later, out of breath and completely spent as the intensity of our
orgasms died down.
	"Does this get better every time or is it just me?" I asked,
cracking a smile.
	"I think it does," Ben replied, still catching his
breath. "Probably because I love you more every day I'm with you."
	I rested my head on Ben's chest, wishing I never had to move from
that spot. I could have laid there forever.
	"I'm going to miss you Ben."
	"Hey now," he replied, his hand gently running through my hair. "No
goodbyes yet okay? We have a plane to catch."
	"You're right. Let's get up."

	It took us both about ten minutes to get cleaned up and dressed
again, and by that time we only had about two minutes before we had to
leave for the airport. I walked out of the room with my suitcases in tow,
wondering if Matt and Casey would be up yet. They weren't wandering around
in the front room, so I decided to go check their bedrooms so I could say
my goodbyes.
	I went to Casey's door first, knocking a couple times. There was no
response, so I opened the door slowly and crept in where I could see Casey
asleep on the bed.
	"Hey stud, wake up," I said as I shook him, trying to get him to
open his eyes. "Waaaaaake up..."
	A moment later he rolled over and opened his eyes slowly, looking
up at me.
	"Is it that time already?" he muttered.
	"Yep, it's about eight o'clock."
	Casey sat up next to me on the bed, rubbing the sleep from his
eyes.
	"I've never really been good with goodbyes," he said, giving me a
smile. "This has been a crazy few weeks though huh?"
	"To say the least, yeah."
	"So can I get a hug from my future brother-in-law or what?"
	"Yeah of course," I said with a laugh before wrapping my arms
around him. "It's been great getting to know you. Thanks for being so good
to me and everything."
	"Well it was easy. Ben doesn't get involved with just anyone, so I
knew you must be pretty special from the get go. I was right."
	"Thanks," I replied, breaking the hug slowly and standing back
up. "You might as well go back to sleep...that way you don't have quite the
hangover when you wake up."
	"Yeah, thanks for your concern," he said with a laugh before lying
back down. "Make sure to call okay? I want to know how you're doing."
	"I definitely will. See ya Casey."
	"Bye David."
	I left Casey's room and shut the door behind me before walking
across the hall to Matt's. I knocked, and was surprisingly greeted with a
response.
	"Come on in."
	I opened the door slowly and saw Matt sitting on the bed in his
boxers. I could tell he had been waiting for me to stop by.
	"Hey there," I said as I walked in and took a seat on the bed.
	"Hey," Matt replied with a smile. "So this is it huh?"
	"Yep," I nodded. "I guess so."
	"Listen David...I'm sorry how everything started out between
us. And for all the lies and confusion..."
	"That's all water under the bridge Matt, there's no need to
apologize. I feel like we're practically family by now, don't worry about
it."
	"Well okay, that's a relief. I'm going to miss you a lot
though...and Ben I worry about."
	"Why?" I asked, sounding concerned.
	"I just don't know how he'll handle it when you leave. He might
take it pretty hard."
	"Well that's what you're here for Matt. You're his best friend,
take good care of him for me."
	"I will, I promise."
	"I'll call, maybe even visit again. This isn't goodbye forever
right?"
	"It better not be."
	Even after assuring Matt of this, it still wasn't something I knew
to be true. Our paths could completely split after I left. Ben might find
someone else. I didn't know what to expect.
	"So give me a hug already," I said, opening my arms wide. Matt came
close and wrapped his arms around me, and we stayed just like that for at
least thirty seconds or so.
	"I love you David, I mean that. You're a great friend."
	"I love you too Matt. But you have to do one thing for me after I
go."
	"What's that?" he asked as we separated.
	"Give Rick a call or I'll come back and kick your ass," I replied
with a laugh.
	"My pleasure," Matt smiled. "He seems like a great guy. Nice of you
to set me up like that."
	"It's the least I can do for a friend. Besides, I need practice so
I can be the future host of Love Connection."
	"That's definitely a job to aspire to."
	"I think so too," I said as I stood up from the bed. "In case that
whole Oscar nomination thing doesn't work out."
	"I'll see ya soon David," Matt said, getting up and walking me to
his bedroom door. "Keep in touch okay?"
	"I will. See ya Matt."
	I heard the bedroom door close behind me as I walked out in to the
front room where Ben was waiting.
	"I already loaded the suitcases in the jeep. Are you ready?" he
asked, grabbing my hand and holding it.
	"As ready as I'll ever be."
	Ben opened the front door and lead me outside into the warm morning
air. I took one last look behind me, like I wanted to look inside the house
one last time so I could remember what it looked like down the road. I
grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut, walking away from the house and
hopping in the jeep. It was time to go.

	"So exactly what is the plan?" I asked, about twenty minutes into
our drive to the airport.
	"Well I'm flying to Vegas with you, first class. Then after we land
there, I'm catching a plane back to L.A., with a layover of about twenty
minutes or so. That way I'll know you're safe and everything."
	"You're not going to get airsick or hyperventilate on me or
anything right?" I asked with a smile.
	"I'm not THAT bad. I just get a little shaky. It can't be more
nerve wracking than that first night I asked you out," he laughed.
	"You were nervous that night? Could have fooled me."
	"Yeah, nervous isn't even a big enough word. I'd never approached a
guy like that before, I didn't know what the hell I was doing."
	I couldn't help but smile sitting there, thinking back to that
first night and how I had literally thrown myself in front of Ben to get
his attention. I took his hand and held it in my own.
	"You think YOU were nervous, try being asked out to drinks by the
hottest celebrity on the planet. I could have shit myself."
	"Oh, so that's what that smell was?"
	"Shut up and drive," I retorted, smacking Ben's arm lightly.
	We arrived at the airport about ten minutes later, and went through
the thrill rides known as finding a parking space and getting my baggage
checked in. It was a bit surreal for me to be in such a massive public
place with Ben, since we'd mainly spent time at the house, on the set, or
in clubs. He was approached for autographs twice before we even got to the
baggage claim, and he complied easily, turning on that charm for each and
every fan. I could still remember the time when I thought of him just like
they did: a huge, out of reach movie star. It's a shame that the majority
of people would never know how much more to him there actually is.
	We got on the plane about ten minutes before departure time, which
actually turned into a twenty minute wait, since nothing can ever leave
when it's scheduled to. Finally the captain announced that we would be
taking off, and the plane started on it's path down the runway.
	"You okay?" I asked, looking over at Ben to make sure he hadn't
passed out on me yet.
	"Oh yeah sure. Where did that flight attendant say the emergency
exits were again?"
	"Calm down." I couldn't help but laugh at Ben's fear...I even sort
of found it cute in a way. "You won't need the emergency exits."
	"What about this seat? It's a floatation device right?" He tried
pulling up on the cushion of the seat, to make sure it would come with him
if there was a water landing.
	"Ben, there is no ocean between L.A. and Las Vegas the last time I
checked. Unless we crash in the swimming pool of The Mirage I don't think
you'll need it."
	"Okay you're right. I'm just going to close my eyes now, tell me
when take off is done with."
	The take off was a success, and I even managed to get Ben to open
his eyes for a while during the ninety minute flight. We didn't talk all
that much, considering that there were people around us, and neither of us
really knew what to say anyway. All I knew was that I never wanted the
plane to land. I couldn't just walk off, say goodbye, and then go back to
my life as I had left it, like nothing had ever happened. Everything was
different now. Everything had changed.
	Ben held his eyes shut again and grasped my hand as the plane
finally descended. I offered him the airsick bag and told him he better
hold on to his floatation device, but I don't think he found it very
amusing at the time. Once the plane touched down he was fine, and he was
even kind enough to allow some circulation back into my lower arm. We
skidded to a stop at the gate, and were two of the first off the plane,
ahead of all the coach passengers.
	"How long until your flight back?" I asked as we walked away from
the crowd of people awaiting their friends and family.
	"Ten minutes," Ben replied, checking his watch. "Let's just
ummm...find someplace private around here okay?"
	"Sure."
	We kept walking, Ben ducking his head whenever crowds walked by so
he wouldn't get mobbed for autographs. We found a nice spot near one of the
gates where people sit and watch out the window as the planes go by. No one
was even remotely in sight, so we both stopped, standing by the window.
	At first we just looked at each other, neither of us saying a
word. I didn't know where to start, what to say. I could feel the tears
welling up in me already.
	"Come here," Ben said, wrapping his arms around me and holding me
tight. I returned the hug just as strongly. We stayed like that, clenched
in silence, for a matter of minutes.
	Ben leaned his lips close to my ear, without warning, and started
singing. Not loudly, but just enough so I could hear.
	"All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standing here outside
your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye..."
	I immediately recognized it as 'Leaving on a Jet Plane', the same
song he had sang in Armageddon. That's when I lost it, the tears started
flowing as I stood there, holding him for dear life.
	"So kiss me and smile for me...tell me that you'll wait for
me. Hold me like you'll never let me go. Cause I'm leaving on a jet
plane...I don't know when I'll be back again. Ohhhh babe, I hate to go."
	I looked up at Ben and saw the tears in his eyes as he finished. We
were both beyond caring if anyone saw us at that moment. It was ours.
	"I love you Ben. I don't know if I can ever thank you enough for
all that you've given me. I just feel like...Jesus..." I trailed off, the
tears overwhelming me again.
	"Like you can't say it enough," he continued.
	"Right," I whispered.
	"I'll wait for you forever if I have to David. Until your done with
school, until your old and gray if that's what it takes. And I'm always
going to remember you as beautiful as you are today. You know the funny
part?"
	"What?" I asked, my voice cracking.
	"You thought you had to throw yourself in front of me that night,"
he responded, his own voice cracking as he started to cry more. "But I
couldn't have missed you for the world. Even in a crowd of two hundred
people."
	Suddenly I heard the last call for Ben's flight come over the
intercom. It was like the final blow to my heart at that moment.
	"That's for me," he said slowly.
	"I know," I replied, breaking our hug and standing in front of
him. "So this is it huh?"
	"You'll call me right?" he asked, still crying. "Promise me you
will."
	"I promise."
	"God David..." he walked over to me and gave me a long kiss on the
lips. I kept my eyes open the entire time, afraid to close them and reopen
them, only to realize that he wasn't there anymore.
	"Don't go Ben," I blurted out between my sobs. One final,
pointless, desperate attempt to delay the inevitable.
	"I have to. I love you."
	"I love you too, more than anything."
	"So close your eyes now for me. And open them when I'm gone."
	I nodded my head and closed my eyes slowly, the wetness still
streaming down my face. I felt one last kiss touch my lips, and then I
stood there. I must have stood with my eyes closed for an eternity, but in
reality it was only about three minutes or so. I was terrified to open
them. Terrified to not see him there with me.
	I opened my eyes. He was gone.
	"Goodbye Ben," I whispered to myself. I sat down in the nearest
chair, the tears not stopping as the planes took off in the distance
outside the window.


Afflecktion Part 10

	I found Mariette waiting for me in the airport parking garage about
thirty minutes later, after I picked up my luggage from the baggage
claim. She seemed happy to see me, and I tried to give her the best forced
smile that I could, but it was hopeless. I hardly said two words to her the
entire ride to my apartment. One thing that I loved about Mariette was that
we had known each other long enough to know when we didn't want to talk
about something. She knew not to press the issue that was on my mind, and
it made the ride home much easier.
	The days passed slowly that week, until Monday rolled around and
school started back up. I also had to go back to work again that same day,
back to the world of checking in the tourists at the Hard Rock Hotel. I
didn't want to get out of bed that morning, which really made it no
different from the previous nights I had been sleeping alone. I just didn't
feel like going out and facing the world...but I knew it was something I'd
have to do eventually.
	Days turned into weeks as life went back to "normal", once again
revolving around work, school, and friends like it always had before. I
felt like a totally different person on the inside, walking around in a
world that I knew nothing about anymore. I thought maybe the feeling would
pass once I got back into the swing of things, but the problem stuck with
me, even after three weeks away from L.A. I wasn't sleeping well, I wasn't
eating right, but nobody really seemed to notice. Nobody at work or school
mentioned anything, and if Mariette did, she was still following our code
of conduct about avoiding the touchy topics.
	I spent quite a few nights lying in my room, doing nothing but
staring at the jar Ben had given to me. It was a beautiful reminder of what
we had, and each time I would sit and sift through those memories I would
start staring at the telephone, wondering if I should pick it up. I hadn't
called Ben since I'd been back, or Jeff and Rick for that matter. Part of
me said that not calling was the right thing to do...to just put the past
behind me and try to move on and reshape my life. Yet another part of me
conflicted with that, telling me to call because I missed him, and talking
to him would make everything easier. It was like my mind versus my
heart...and for one of the first times in my life I was listening to my
mind instead.
	I'd noticed that Ben also hadn't tried to call me, which was
probably for the better. I was sure he was moving on, hanging out with Matt
and Casey and getting back into his acting. It made me feel better to think
of him that way, to convince myself that he was happy. It was sure a hell
of a lot better than thinking he was feeling the same way I was.
	A month had passed, and as September weaned it's way into October
things were getting a little easier. I was able to concentrate more on
school and work, and even able to truly enjoy myself going out and hanging
around with Mariette. The only times I had trouble was when I'd see Ben on
Entertainment Tonight, or read about him somewhere in Entertainment
Weekly. I also read in there that 'Twisted Innuendo' was set for a release
date of November 26th...just in time for the Oscars.
	Just as the hole inside me was slowly starting to mend, everything
changed again. Mariette and I had just went to the movies and out to
dinner, our typical Friday outing. She was driving me home and we were
bobbing our heads along, singing to the radio like we always did. It was an
addiction we both shared...if we didn't sing off key to every song we loved
we'd probably go into withdrawals and keel over.
	I was having a great time, bellowing along to Sugar Ray's "Every
Morning", a personal favorite of mine. The song faded to an end, and the
instant the next song started I knew I was in trouble. This was just my
luck...stuck in the car with Mariette when "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing"
comes on the radio. I went silent, turning my head and staring out the car
window, not wanting her to be able to read the thoughts that were going
through my mind. The memories were all coming back in a rush as the music
continued...the floodgates had been opened.
	About halfway through the song, while we were stopped at a
stoplight, Mariette did a sudden U-turn, going in the direction opposite my
house. I didn't have a clue what she was doing, so I decided to speak up
and ask.
	"Where are we going?"
	"You'll see," she replied nonchalantly. "You don't need to be home
right away do you?"
	"No...I guess not."
	The song faded out as we continued our mystery drive into the heart
of Las Vegas. After about twenty minutes I realized we were getting close
to the downtown area, which couldn't possibly be farther from my
destination at home.
	"Do you plan to tell me what you're doing? Or are you just
kidnapping me?" I asked sarcastically.
	"I told you you'll see, just sit back for five more minutes."
	I did as she asked, sitting back and zoning out again while I
looked out the window. I was completely spaced a few minutes later when I
noticed that the car had stopped. We were at the Hard Rock Hotel.
	"You're taking me to my work? This is my big surprise?" I asked,
completely confused. Mariette knew that I enjoyed going to the Hard Rock
after work about as much as she loved eating breakfast at IHOP on her free
time.
	"Yep, this is it. Great huh?" she replied, smiling at me.
	"Okay, what's going on? Have you lost it?"
	"No, but it's about time I talked to you about something. Any
objections to that?" I watched as she lost her smile and her face grew more
serious.
	"No...go ahead," I said slowly. She let out a sigh to prepare
herself before she let out her words.
	"Well to put it simply, you're driving me crazy. I love you like a
brother, you know that, but YOU are driving me NUTS."
	"I am? Why?" A look of confusion fell over my face... I wasn't sure
if she was angry with me or simply exasperated.
	"Let me explain. I've known you for years David, since junior high
or so. And ever since that time, even before I knew you were gay, there was
like this..." she hesitated. "A sadness to you. Even when you were your
happiest, I could always see something lacking. And as much as I hated
seeing you like that, I eventually grew accustomed to it, realizing it was
part of who you were."
	"Okay...where is it you're going with this exactly?" I asked,
genuinely curious about the point of her psych analysis.
	"Well it was obvious that what was missing was a guy. I knew that
and you knew it too. You weren't built to face this world by yourself
David...some people can and some people can't. But you were never whole
during all these years...searching for that person and never finding him,
no matter how many dates you went on. It left you even emptier each time."
	"Right, that's exactly how it felt," I replied slowly.
	"And then, BAM, you go to California, and on that first phone call
you make home, you blew me away. I didn't know what it was at first, but
you were different. It wasn't obvious enough for anyone to notice, but I
could hear it in your voice. You were happy David. I mean REALLY happy. Not
just that 'two hours until the Backstreet Boys concert is over' kind of
happy. The real thing."
	"And....?" I sat there listening intently as Mariette hurdled over
the line of touchy topics, and for once it didn't really bother me.
	"Well another thing that both of us know is that you're terrified
of commitment. For all your talking and wishing about finding the right
guy, you were always scared to death to give anyone a fair chance. You'd
always ditch them after one date, convinced they weren't right, running in
the other direction as quickly as possible. Making yourself vulnerable to
someone else was too much for you to handle. So now, here I come with my
point."
	"Go for it," I replied.
	"I think the reason you let yourself get close to Ben is because
you KNEW it would end in three weeks. In some subconscious section of your
brain, that was your safety net. Open up to him all you want, then it'll
end in three weeks, and no scary future to worry about. No fears to
face. Well...as your best friend...it's my job to tell you that's
bullshit."
	"Bullshit?" I asked, wondering how she had managed to lay my
subconscious down on the table so easily.
	"Complete bullshit. You left Ben because you were scared, because
coming back to your life was the easiest thing to do. I think Ben was
scared for you to stay too. But if you love him, and I KNOW you do, because
I see it written all over your face every second of the day...if you love
him, you'd be willing to face those fears."
	"I DO love him Mariette...not a second goes by every day when I
don't think about him. But what am I supposed to do? It's too
late. Whatever my reasons were, I LEFT. That's that."
	"It's NOT too late," she barked back at me, trying to get some
sense in to my head. "It's never too late for love David, Jesus. Why are
you thinking about everything all of a sudden? You've done everything with
your heart since I've first known you...and it's what you're going to do
now. What does your heart tell you to do?"
	I thought for a moment, knowing exactly what my heart was
saying. But my mind kept telling me it was ridiculous.
	"It tells me I should go back...I should run back as fast as I can
and never let him out of my arms again. But that's insane...life isn't a
romantic comedy you know."
	"Life can be whatever you want it to be, and that's why we're
here."
	"I don't follow you," I stated, looking at the hotel towering in
front of us.
	"You're going to go in there and quit your job. After that, you're
taking a trip to the college and dropping out. Then you're going home,
saying goodbye to your family, packing your shit into your car and getting
the hell out of this town."
	"WHAT?" I replied, completely shocked. "You're insane! I can't do
that. It's already a month into the semester, and you just want me to drop
everything and flee the city?"
	"All you have to do is tell the registrar at the school that you're
moving out of town on an emergency, and that you'd like to be able to have
your credits transferred out of state next semester. It's not terribly
difficult, and there ARE colleges in California last time I checked."
	I sat there looking at her, trying to contemplate all that she was
telling me. At first the idea seemed ridiculous. But now...when I thought
about it more...
	"Stop being scared David. You're my best friend, and I've sat by
for weeks watching the pain you're going through. That's why I told you
that you're driving me nuts...I see you wallowing in your misery every day
and doing nothing about it. So this is what you're doing about it. Go back
to him."
	"But what about you? I don't want to leave you behind."
	"I'll be fine," she replied, smiling. "I'll miss you like hell, but
knowing you're happy will be good enough for me. There is one condition
though."
	"What's that?" I asked, finally resigned to Mariette's idea. It was
time for life to get a little crazy.
	"I better get a ticket to the Oscars when you get nominated. And
your movie premiere. AND a date with Brad Pitt wouldn't hurt either."
	"That's like three conditions," I said, laughing.
	"Whatever. Now get off your ass and go tell your boss you're
leaving. Tell him he can forward your last check to California."
	I nodded and rushed out of the car as fast as I could, running
inside to tell my boss the news. He didn't seem to understand, especially
since I couldn't give him any good reason for why I was quitting. But it
didn't matter to me who understood my actions anymore. Mariette was
right...life is too short to play it safe, it was time to put it all on the
line.
	During the remainder of the day we drove around, stopping at the
school so I could speak to the registrar. The lady told me that it was no
problem, emergencies happen all the time, and that it'd be possible to
transfer my previously earned credits to almost any university of my
choice. With that hurdle jumped over, we went back to my house to get
everything packed.
	I couldn't believe how fast everything was moving, and even though
doubts crept into my mind, I made sure to keep them at bay. It took the two
of us till about midnight to pack all of my major belongings and stuff them
in the car. After that we had to break out the map and find the easiest
route from Vegas to California, since I was clueless as to how to drive
there. Mariette crashed at my apartment after all our work, and we didn't
wake up until nearly eleven the next morning.
	I hopped in the shower and got ready quickly, feeling scared and
excited at the same time. I had to call my parents and tell them I was
moving out of state, and needless to say they weren't thrilled with the
idea. Neither of them knew I was gay, so I just explained that I had found
an acting job while visiting Jeff and Rick and that I was going to pursue a
career in the field. It wasn't exactly a lie, just not the whole
truth. They bitched me out for about fifteen minutes before realizing that
they couldn't stop me, so then they wished me good luck.
	It was around one in the afternoon when I went out to my car with
Mariette behind me, ready to face the world. This was perhaps the single
most terrifying thing I had ever done.
	"So...you have everything?" Mariette asked as I stood by the
driver's side door.
	"I think so. The place is cleaned out with the exception of the
furniture, so that must be everything. I paid the landlord this month's AND
next month's rent...I guess I'm ready."
	"So this is it huh?" she asked.
	"I don't know what this is exactly. I mean...what if he's found
someone else by now?"
	"Doubtful," she retorted, not hesitating for a second.
	"What if the acting thing falls through and I go broke? Or what if
Ben is pissed at my 'drop everything and run to California' attitude?" The
doubts were starting to come at a quicker pace now that I was actually
standing outside my car, ready to go.
	"David, that's why it's a risk. These are chances you have to
take. If worst comes to worst, you just drive your ass back home."
	"Yeah...you're right. You know Mariette...I really don't know how
to thank you. I'm a stubborn bastard sometimes, and I need to thank you for
helping me realize what an idiot I was being."
	"Well that's my job. I know you better than you know yourself
David...and I like to use my knowledge to your advantage," she said with a
laugh.
	"I love you girl," I said as I gave her a hug. "I'll try to arrange
that date with Brad if you don't find a Tasty boy of your own soon."
	"I love you too," she said, breaking away. "And I'll take a date
with Brad even if I have a man, so don't worry about that."
	I smiled, opening the car door and getting inside, putting the key
in the ignition.
	"You're sure I shouldn't call him first?" I asked, stalling a
little bit.
	"No! Throw caution to the wind, you'll thank me for it later."
	"Okay, you better be right. See you soon."
	"Bye David."
	I drove off after that, watching in my rear view mirror as Mariette
waved me off. If there was one person who always believed in me it was
her...even when I didn't believe in myself.
	The drive to California took me about six hours, and that includes
the time I spent lost on the insane Los Angeles freeways. I was a whirlwind
of emotions during the entire journey. I just prayed that Ben would be
happy to see me, that everything would work out, and that this idea wasn't
as completely insane as it seemed.
	I saw Ben's beach house in the distance just as the sun was
beginning to go down, around seven o'clock that evening. I pulled up in the
driveway, noticing that his jeep was missing, and there were no other
vehicles in sight. With my luck he probably moved out, I thought to myself.
	I got out of my car and went up to the door, knocking and ringing
the bell. No answer. He was probably just working, or maybe out with
Matt. Or maybe out on a date...or maybe out on a date with Matt! No no no,
those weren't the thoughts I wanted to be thinking.
	I decided to take a walk down the beach to calm my nerves,
searching for that exact spot where we had first shared ourselves with each
other. I was carrying the jar of sand in the pocket of my shorts...a
constant reminder as to why I was making this journey in the first place.
	I found our special spot and sat down in the sand, looking out over
the ocean and watching the sunset. It was a beautiful sight...so tranquil
and peaceful. I managed to lose myself in my thoughts for at least ten
minutes or so...until suddenly, I heard a voice behind me.
	"David?"
	I turned. There was Ben, standing there in shorts and a tank top
with a look of shock on his face. I thought that I also saw a little bit of
confusion...and maybe even happiness...in that same expression.
	"Hi Ben," I replied, standing up and wiping the sand from my
back. "Long time no see huh?"
	He walked over to me quickly, wrapping his arms around me and
holding me tight. I closed my eyes and hugged him back, suddenly feeling
all my worries and doubts wash away.
	"What are you doing here? I never thought I'd hear from you
again...you hadn't called..." he trailed off.
	"I know, I'm sorry for that. I just sort of had this crazy
idea...and I decided that I wasn't going to let you go."
	He pulled away, that beautiful smile on his face as he grabbed my
hand and we sat down in the sand.
	"Jesus I missed you so much," he said, leaning close to me. "I was
a wreck while you were gone."
	"That makes two of us," I smiled.
	"So what about school? And work? And your friends...your
family...everything we discussed?" Ben's expression became more serious as
he asked me this, which is the part I was most worried about.
	"Just let me explain. I talked to the registrar at school, she said
I can have my credits transferred out here. So I can start school again in
the spring. I quit my job, it was no big deal. If the acting thing doesn't
work out I can always flip burgers or something, I don't care. Said goodbye
to my family. And as for friends...well, Mariette is the one who talked me
into this in the first place. So if you want to be mad, blame her."
	"I think I'll call her up and thank her actually," Ben said, his
smile beaming. "So you're telling me you dropped your entire life to move
out here and be with me?"
	"Basically yes. Pretty crazy huh?"
	"Insane actually. How like you," he laughed. "You saved my ass
doing it though."
	"How's that?" I asked.
	"Cause I was about ready to jump on a plane and head to Vegas by
myself...and I'm afraid the takeoff would have killed me," he laughed.
	"I can see the headline: 'Actor Hyperventilates to Death Before
Plane Take Off.'"
	"Yeah, wouldn't that be classic?" he replied, both of us laughing
our asses off at the thought. "I do have some news of my own actually," Ben
said, catching his breath.
	"Oh shit, what is it?" I asked, my mind immediately jumping to the
worst possibilities. "Did you meet someone? Get married? What?" The
paranoia was taking over for me once more.
	"No no no," Ben said, laughing. "Nothing even close to that. First
off, Matt and Rick are getting along great. They've been going out on the
town almost every night. I don't think I've ever seen Matt so happy. He
comes back home and tells me these stories about how Rick did this and Rick
did that...Rick was so funny, and he wore this and that. And he keeps the
goofiest grin on his face the entire time, it's something you have to see."
	"Aha! So my job as future Love Connection host is a lock," I said,
laughing at the thought of Matt in his lovestruck haze.
	"Looks like it Chuck. And one more thing."
	"What is it?"
 	"I broke it off with Gwyneth," he blurted.
	"What do you mean broke it off?" I asked, slightly confused.
	"Well I didn't actually break anything off. We're still great
friends, just like always. But I decided we should tell the press we're
breaking up...it'll be all over the papers in a few days."
	"You didn't have to do that," I replied.
	"I know. But our arrangement wasn't fair to her...she wants to date
guys, and as long as we're linked together she's not allowed that. Plus I'm
sort of sick of all the deception. I'm certainly not bursting out of the
closet anytime soon...but I think I'll let them paint me as a swinging
bachelor for a while."
	"Bachelor is fine, but you better be doing all your 'swinging' with
me," I said, smiling.
	"Mmmmm...my pleasure," Ben replied, leaning close and waiting for a
kiss.
	"Oh wait, one last thing," I interrupted, reaching into my pocket.
	"What?"
	I pulled out the jar of sand, and held it up, admiring it as Ben
looked on. I opened the lid, and tipped it...pouring the sand out in
between us and emptying the container.
	"I don't think I'll need the memory anymore," I smiled.
	"Not when you have the real thing," Ben replied, putting his arm
around me. "So can I get my kiss now?" he asked, giving me a sly
smile. "I've been waiting over a month."
	"You can get a lot more than that," I smiled, leaning close to Ben
and pressing my lips to his.
	We laid down in the sand, watching the stars as they began peeking
out in the nighttime sky. We made love underneath them and I stayed in
Ben's arms that entire night, just as I had the first time we met each
other. Only this time there was no time limit, no home to rush back to. I
was home right there in his arms...and this was forever.

THE END