Date: Thu, 17 Aug 2006 08:00:20 -0400
From: Miss Meehan <lilliluthor@hotmail.com>
Subject: Becoming - Chapter 13

"I guess I felt guilty for wanting you so much.  I guess I thought I
deserved to be punished."

"Dean, no one deserved that. Every time you came in with a new bruise...I
hated him for what he did to you.  If I had known then what I know now, I
would have killed him."

"Hey," Dean said, pulling Sam close to him, "that's all over now.  It's you
and me.  Nothings going to change that."

"Dean," Sam began, resting his head against his brother's chest, "do you
remember what you said to me after the thing with Max?  That as long as
you're around, I'd be alright."

"I remember," Dean said, stroking Sam's brunette locks, " no matter what
happens tonight, promise me you'll never leave me."

"Sammy, nothing bad is going to happen.  We'll get dad and figure out what
those two are up to.  I'm never letting you out of my sight.  You got
that?"

"Yeah," Sam half smiled, lifting his head to see Dean's eyes, "I got that."

The two lay together in silence waiting for the call.  When Dean opened his
eyes, Sam was kneeling over him on all fours, kissing him.  The wings were
back.

"Sam, what's going on?  Did they call?"

"Kiss me," Sam demanded, not responding to Dean's question.

"What about dad?"

"Kiss me now," Sam growled.

"I'm scared Sam.  What's going on?"

"We need to do this."

"Why?"

Sam shook his head. "Trust me."

That was the one thing Dean could do, always. He pulled Sam down into a
ferocious kiss.  Sam's hands were all over him, his fingernails were more
like claws and he was tearing at Dean's clothing. Dean could feel the sharp
claws digging into his flesh.  His heart was racing but he vowed to trust
Sam.

Sam was pushing deep inside him, biting his neck with sharp teeth. Dean
could hear himself groaning.  The pain of teeth and nails matched equally
by the pleasure of Sam claiming him one more time.

Dean's eyes flew open. His cell was ringing.

"Megan?" He asked.

"No, it's me Dean. They let me go. Somethings wrong."

"They just let you walk out of there?" Dean was confused until he realized
Sam wasn't with him.

Panic ensued. Dean told his father to meet him at the motel and clicked
off. He ran to the bathroom and flung the door open. He dressed quickly and
ran to the front door.  His car was still there.

'Trust me.' That's what Sam had said. 'Promise you'll never leave me.'

"I've never left you Sammy. You're the one who keeps leaving me."

&&&&&&&&&

Dean had started with the obvious place, the cabin. It was empty. John
thought it best to let his son take the lead and did what he could to
assist. Dean had insisted that his dad file a missing person's report. They
stayed in Harlan for over a month before John finally convinced Dean to
return to Lawrence. During the first weeks of their return, Dean slept all
day.  John clued Missouri in on how Sam and Dean had communicated
before. When sleep wouldn't come, Dean resorted to pills and liquor to help
him sleep.  John became concerned.  It would be another month before he
convinced Dean to resume hunting with him. The prospect of finding Sam
being the only carrot he could dangle to entice him.

The thing John never mentioned was the possibility that when they found
Sam, he might have to be destroyed. While Dean seemed oblivious to it,
Missouri and John noted the rise of demonic activity since Sam's
disappearance. Some activity had even reached mainstream media although it
was reported and regarded with skepticism. More important was the continued
string of disappearances nationwide. Missouri and John began to wonder just
how many missing people were part of what they began to refer to as' the
gathering'. Missouri spent her free time gathering information on missing
people never found. It was becoming clear that some sort of army or force
was being gathered that needed to be dealt with.  The problem was if all
Dean had told John was true, Sam was at the forefront of it all. John knew
that convincing Dean that once found, Sam might have to be dealt with would
be near impossible. In fact he feared he might end up losing both his sons
in the process. Some days John was even angry at Mary.  Her secret had cost
him all he held dear, his family. At other times John was willing to
sacrifice himself if Dean and Sam could be happy again.  Up until now, the
hunt had been about revenge and his loss. Now he stood to lose everything.

"You could just walk away," Missouri had said once. "Let it be someone
else's problem."

John had considered it.  He knew there were others like him. He'd met
them. Formed an alliance with more than a few of them. But John was never a
quitter. He wasn't sure he could just pretend none of this was his problem
and leave it to everyone else; not even for the sake of his family. He knew
he was in a no win situation. He'd lost Sam, Dean was all but lost to him
now. If they found Sam, knowing what he was, knowing what his destiny was,
could he stand by and watch it happen? And more importantly, would he lose
Dean to Sam?  Could he just walk away? He didn't think so.

&&&&&&&&&&

More and more Dean began to despise sleep. For him it served one purpose
only, to be with Sam again. Sam had asked him to trust him the last time
they'd made love. As the days, weeks and months went by, that was becoming
harder and harder. His loneliness had turned to frustration and bordered on
anger and hatred.

'Why did you do it Sammy? Why did you make me promise to stay with you and
then leave.?' He wondered everyday since the day he knew Sam was gone.

John had wanted Dean to rejoin him hunting. He kept promising they might
find Sam if he did. The hunt held no interest for Dean anymore and he was
losing hope that he'd ever see Sam again. When sleep wouldn't come, Dean
had started drinking heavily and taking sleeping pills. Nothing was
working. It was like his body was immune to such things.  He knew John and
Missouri were worried about him.  Missouri had even been nice to him and
stopped fussing with him.  Instead she fussed over him. Bringing soup to
his room, feeling his head for a temperature, sitting in his room and
watching him sleep on those rare instances when he could sleep. When he
couldn't, he took to long runs and working out vigorously.  He knew his dad
thought he was preparing for his return to hunting.  Dean wasn't sure what
he was preparing for.  He just seemed to have pent up energy that needed a
release.

He had agreed to leave with his dad by the end of the week. He mentally
ticked off another day with out Sam. After a particularly long run and
longer workout, Dean returned home.  Missouri and John were out. He jogged
upstairs and stripped to take a shower. His shoulders were aching. He tried
to work out the kinks as he walked across the hall to the bathroom and
opted for a nice hot bath instead of a shower.  He adjusted the water and
waited for the tub to fill. His shoulder blades were itching like crazy. He
bent his arm back to scratch when he felt a long scar running down the
length of one. He reached over to scratch the other and found the same
thing. Dean stood frozen for a moment. Memories flooded his mind.  He ran
to Missouri's room and grabbed her sterling silver mirror and headed back
to the bathroom. He had to hold the thing at an awkward angle to see what
he suspected he would.  Even though he prepared himself for it, the shock
of the familiar scars he'd seen on Sam's back startled him and Missouri's
mirror went crashing to the ground.

"Fuck," he groaned.

He ran downstairs and grabbed a broom and dustpan and ran back up to the
bathroom to clean up the mess. "Missouri is going to kill me," he
grumbled. After cleaning up the mess, Dean sank into the water trying to
figure out what his next move was.  The water felt so good that he sank
deeper into it, letting his eyes drift close.

"I told you you were a late bloomer."

Dean's eyes flew open. "Sammy?"

No one was there.