Date: Tue, 15 Jan 2002 22:12:26 -0500
From: Jessica Brower <jbrower@tampabay.rr.com>
Subject: A Love for James  Chapters 9 and 10

Hi Everyone! This is my first time writing on nifty so be gentle as you
read. I've been a reader and always interested in writing so I am giving it
a shot. Please send any comments, good or bad, long or short, to me. Any
criticism would be good.

Disclaimer: Any statements of Lance/James being gay cannot be confirmed. I
don't know any member of nsync or any other celebrity that may appear in
the story. If you aren't of age to be reading this, then don't. If it
offends you, why are you at the site to begin with? Besides that, happy
reading.


A Love For James
Chapters 9 and 10


I awoke the next morning to find the bed was empty. I pondered over where
exactly James could have gone to. I looked next to the bed and saw the time
was just after 11am. I must have been really tired especially after my
sleepless night from the Rick situation. Though I did feel kinda bad about
the whole thing and wondered what he was doing. My guess was prostitution.
That's what he did when I hired him. Though, don't get me wrong, I never
did anything with him. I was brought out of my daze by James walking out of
the bathroom with a towel around his waist. I pretended to be asleep to see
if he would drop the towel and I could get a peek and him in all his glory.

"Quit pretending to sleep Jesse. I saw you gawking when I came out of the
bathroom."

"Busted," I simply stated getting a chuckle out of both of us.

"Well, I wanted to get a glimpse of you in all your glory and figured that
was the best way to do it," I explained.

"You should have just said so." And with that, the towel was gone and he
stood in front of me with his semi-hard penis hanging about a foot or so
away from me. I was turned on and knew it would only be a matter of time
before I was definitely hard. I could tell James was not a regular
exhibitionist though cause the idea of him being naked in front of me was
starting to get to him too. Before too long he was back under the covers in
a flash.

"Back to bed so soon?" I asked.

"I'm not completely comfortable with standing in my bedroom naked."

"Oh, don't like people staring at your precious goods?" I asked in a
childish voice joking with him.

"It's not that but I'm not naked around anyone but people I date and well,
I have a hard time not getting turned on by it." He said in a shy manner as
if he were afraid of how I would respond to it.

"Oh is that what it is. James here is getting all hot and bothered while
being naked for me?"

"Well, you haven't got the softest penis right now either now do you?"

"No, but it's custom for a guy who sees his lover naked to be aroused."

"Well, I'm a horny man. We didn't have time for me to get some relief last
night"

"So, you are upset cause I didn't suck you off last night? Is that it?"

"No, you misunderstand me."

"Well, help me understand why this joking conversation has become a serious
one revolving around sex."

"It's not about sex. Look, I'm not always comfortable with the way I look
and when seeing me naked arouses you, I get aroused too. That's what it
is. It has nothing to do with me seeing myself and getting turned on by
it. Ok?"

"Yes. I'm sorry I tried to make this into you not getting any last
night. We'll fix that right now." With that I grabbed his softening cock
and gave it a few strokes to get him hard again.

"You ... don't... have to... dd. d.... do ..... that. But don't stop,"
James moaned. I pulled the sheets off of us exposing both our bodies and
our hard erections. I wanted to concentrate on him and only him and knew
from my past that if I did this just right, we both would get some relief.

I continued my hand job on James cock as we shared a lustful kiss dipping
our tongues into each other's mouths frantically tasting every inch of our
mouths. I let go of his lips and asked him to turn his body around. I
twisted my body some and began my attack on his nipples sucking one in my
mouth while I pinched the other with my fingers. I repeated the same as I
let his cock go free. He seemed disappointed by that but I winked and he
knew I had something planned. He leaned up on his elbows and I got up and
sat down near his crotch letting my hard cock touch his. He got the idea of
what I was gonna do and we began to grind our hips into each other causing
our cocks to hit one another. James was letting out deep moans that made me
harder for him. I knew we were both close so I got up off him and asked him
to do as I did. He sat on my lap and we continued what we were doing. I
slid my hands onto his ass pulling him closer to me as we ground our cocks
together. As he was getting closer I slid my finger down his crack and
found his hole just waiting for me. I could feel the heat radiating from
it. I slid my finger into my mouth getting my finger nice and wet before I
slid it back down his crack and rammed my finger up his ass just as he came
between our chests causing me to cum with him as we moaned together from
intense pleasure.

"Wow," James said panting after his orgasmic experience.

"I'm glad you enjoyed that."

"I did so very much. I guess I never realized how good certain things feel
until you experience them again and that was incredible."

"Well, now we need to hit the shower."

"Do I get to join you?"

"Yes cause I can't guarantee I will be able to stand up and if not I need
you there. Plus I am not letting you out of my sight sexy."

We got up and walked towards the bathroom. I turned on the water and got
into the shower immediately washing the cum from my chest and abs as James
got in behind me. I stepped away from the water and allowed him to wash off
the cum on his chest. Then I turned him around and pushed his head under
the shower getting his hair wet. I reached beside me for the shampoo and
lathered up his head with it. When I was done massaging his scalp I pushed
his head under the shower and ran my hands through his hair to remove all
the shampoo. As he rinsed out the rest of the shampoo, I put soap onto the
lather sponge and began to wash his body off in a very sensual way and
washing his cock last. When he was rinsed off completely, he switched
places with me and repeated the same things to me. It was erotic but we
both were so spent from our orgasms that this just felt so nice and
relaxing. When I was all washed up we got out and dried off. We brushed our
teeth and styled our hair before getting dressed.

I went into the kitchen as James was getting dressed and found my cell
phone on the counter. I looked at it and saw that I had missed five
calls. I listened to my voicemail to find the first was from my grandma,
just checking up on me and making sure things were ok. The second message
was from my neighbor letting me know that the landlord had stopped by and
had some information to give me and was going out of town so he left it
with my neighbor. The third was from my sister, said she had sent some
papers to my landlord and I should get them soon. I was actually worried
now. My sister had a baby when she was 19, I was about 17/18 at the
time. So, my niece would have to be about 5/6 years old by now. But, my
sister always had problems in her life and the last thing I was ready for
was for them to try and put custody of my niece in my hands. But, I had a
feeling that was what it was about. The fourth message was from my boss
telling me that he needed to see me as soon as he could and if I could make
it in today it would be great. The final message was from a girl I had
dated in high school. That was all before I found out I was gay. We had had
sex in the past and one time unprotected just after graduation. We broke up
about a week later and we both were tested. We both came back negative and
she told me she never got pregnant. Guess I was lucky.

Just as I finished my messages James walked in.

"Messages?"

"Yeah, Five actually."

"Oh, anything important?"

"Yeah, 4 of them. One from the boss, one from the neighbor with word from
the landlord, one from my sister, and one from a girl I dated in high
school before I admitted I was gay."

"Oh. You never told me you had a sister."

"She's a half-sister. She had a baby when I was about 17 and I see the baby
every once in a while but it's been a while."

"What did she want?"

"She said my landlord had papers for me from her. That's what the neighbor
called about. Landlord left the papers with her."

"And your boss?"

"Wants to see me today some time. Didn't say about what really though."

"Not to be nosy which I know I am being right now, but why would an ex be
calling you?"

"I'm not sure about that one yet. She left a number and I saved the
message. I'll have to call her sometime today when I get a chance."

"Oh, I guess I will drive you back to your place then and let you get what
you need from your neighbor and go see your boss. It sounds like you have a
lot of stuff to do."

"James?"

"Yeah?" he asked kinda sadly.

"You can come with me if you want. I am gonna call my boss from home. If
it's bad you probably can't go to the meeting but I would love to have you
with me."

"You would?"

"Of course. Come on. Let's go."

We drove over to my place and I went next door and got my papers from my
neighbor. I took the papers inside and sat at my kitchen table and read
over them. It was exactly what I thought they were. The courts were
threatening to take Starr, my niece, away from my sister because she
couldn't stay clean. They had tried to pass custody to my grandparents on
either side and they both said they were too old for that
responsibility. That left me or foster care. I hated to think of my niece
being raised by two strangers but I just wasn't sure if I could handle all
that right now. I'm a gay man. What would that look like to the courts?

"What is it sweetie?"

"The courts sent me paperwork giving me the option of declaring custody
over Starr Celeste Towns."

"Starr Celeste Towns? Is that your niece?"

"Yes it is. It's me or they send her to a foster home."

"Wow. I won't suggest anything cause it's not my place. I can't believe
that they would dump that on you."

"It's ok. I just have to fill this out really quick. Could you access my
voicemail and get the number from my ex please?"

"Sure thing."

I filled out the paperwork that said that if my sister wasn't clean in a
month and didn't stay clean, I would take custody of my niece. I then
called my sister and begged that she stay clean cause I couldn't bear this
responsibility right now. I told her that I would help her out with raising
her with money that she needed if she could stay clean. She promised to try
her best and keep in touch with me.

James returned with the number for my ex. I looked at it and decided to
call my boss first.

"Juventus?"

"Mr. Juventus, it's Jesse. What can I do for you today?"

"Well, I had some questions over the paperwork you gave me. It can wait
until Monday if it must but some I can just ask you right now."

"Well ask what you can and I'd rather save the rest until Monday. I have a
lot of things to get finished today."

We went through the paperwork and I cleared up a few things and fixed a
thing here or there that he brought up that I hadn't gotten to yet. It took
about a half an hour and we were through. We hung up and I looked at James.

"You can't avoid it forever Jesse."

"I know James but I am not sure what she has to say and if I really wanna
know."

"Call her or I will."

"Fine. Be that way."

I dialed the number and a woman answered the phone.

"Yes, I am looking for ......"

"Jesse?"

"Yes this is Jesse. Autumn??"

"Yep. That's me. I'm glad you returned my call though I am not sure you
wanna know what I have to tell you so I was hoping we could meet in
person."

"Well, only if you give me a hint about what it is we are gonna be talking
about."

"Alright. I have someone in my life I want you to meet. I think you will
really like her."

"You aren't trying to set me or something cause I have told you that I am
gay and I have met someone myself."

"Bring him along. I'd like to meet him but let's meet at the Stapleton Park
Grounds in an hour."

"At our spot?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, see you there in an hour."


ONE HOUR LATER

What am I doing here? I feel sick to my stomach and James had a meeting to
go to so I am by myself. I must be nuts. Why would anyone meet their ex in
a secluded part of a Park to meet someone? I am crazy. I admit it. I'm a
nut job.

"Jesse?"

I turned around to find none other than Autumn. She looked as beautiful as
she did when I dated her in high school. She hadn't changed much in
appearance. I also noticed a little girl about 5 years old walking behind
her but very close to her. I guessed that she was the one that Autumn
wanted me to meet but I wasn't sure why. I guess just after high school she
must have met someone who got her pregnant cause it wasn't me. But what
would a new boyfriend have to do with me meeting their daughter?

"Hello Autumn. Who's this cutie behind you?"

"This is Sarah. She's my daughter. I wanted you to meet her."

I heard her whisper something into Sarah's ear and Sarah ran off to play in
the sand box about 30 feet away from where we were standing. We sat down
and things were quiet for a minute as I watched Sarah play.

"She's a beautiful little girl. Has the spunk I had when I was little," I
said breaking the silence between us.

"That she does Jesse. She does a lot of things that remind me of
you. That's why I called you. I haven't always been completely honest with
you and I'm sure you are beyond confused at why I brought you here today to
meet my daughter."

"Just a little bit."

"Well you were supposed to bring someone too were you not?"

"He had a last minute meeting to attend to."

"Oh, well I think it's for the best that it's just you and me
anyways. There are some things that I can't keep lying to you about
anymore. "

"Like what Autumn. I've never known you to lie to me about anything. I
mean, you and I were completely honest with each other about our testing
for HIV when we weren't careful. And you got tested for pregnancy and that
was negative. So, what haven't you been honest about?"

"Well, almost all of what you said was true. We got tested for HIV/AIDS
together so we both knew we were tested and we had the results read
together so there was no way to be dishonest about any of that. I also did
get tested for pregnancy. That's also true."

"I'm not following. What wasn't...... you WERE pregnant?????"

"Yes. I was afraid to tell you when I found out and once we had parted I
didn't want to burden you with it. You seemed so joyous about your new life
as a gay man. You would never have to worry about pregnancy and you were
just so happy when I said it was negative that I couldn't bear to tell you
the truth."

"I see. So let me get this straight. You brought me to our spot in our
favorite park not to introduce me to just anyone, but to MY OWN
DAUGHTER?!?!?!?"

"Jesse, please calm down. I didn't want you to get upset but Sarah is a
smart little girl just like you and she's been showing signs that she's
like you more and more now. She's in school and she constantly asks about
her daddy and I finally had to tell her that she could meet him. That's why
I called you yesterday. She knows you are her daddy. I have showed her
pictures. She wanted to meet you and now she has. But I hope that you will
want to remain in her life."

"I don't know what to say Autumn. You just dropped a bomb on me and I am
speechless."

"Well, I hate to add insult to injury but I have breast and pancreatic
cancer and I only have about 2 years left to live. That's why I got a hold
of you. I haven't been with anyone since you because they are all scared
because I have a child. I want her to live with her daddy when she can no
longer live with me. Can you do that for me??"

"I would do anything for my own child. But right now I am just gonna go
play and see if I can get to know her."

"Ok. I will be here waiting when you are done."

I walked over towards the sand box and Sarah looked up at me. I sat down at
the edge and she walked over to me and put her arms around my neck and
hugged me big. Then she whispered in my ear, "I am glad to meet you
daddy. I love you and hope you love me too."

"Oh, of course I do. Now that mommy has told me all about you we can get to
know each other really good. ok?"

"I'd like that daddy. Can I visit you where you live?"

"Whenever you'd like."

We played in the sandbox for a half an hour before I told her that I had to
go but I would call and keep in touch with her. I also told her that one
day she could come and visit at my house. I told her I loved her and gave
her a big hug. She gave me a kiss and we waved good-bye. I called Autumn on
her cell about ten minutes later and told her that I was very thankful for
what she did but to give me time to think things over. She agreed and I
went home to think about what a day I was having.

James called my cell about an hour later and I didn't answer it because I
was just so mentally exhausted. After my cell stopped, my house phone
rang. I figured it was James as well. I just didn't feel like moving. I
continued to sit in my bedroom on the window bench looking out as the sun
set over the horizon. I heard the machine go off and James' voice filled
the room, " sweetie??? Are you home??? I thought you would be by now but I
guess not. You aren't answering your cell either. I will stop in real quick
to see if you are home and if not I guess call me when you get this. I love
you."

He was so sweet and within minutes he would be in my house and in here
begging me to know what was wrong and what had happened. I wouldn't answer
cause I just didn't feel like talking. I had had a long enough day and I
wanted to just be alone for the night. But with James coming, I couldn't
get out of it. I went to the main hall and double latched my front
door. That would prevent him from coming inside and although it would worry
him, I needed to be alone.

Ten minutes later I heard the lock turn and the door open partly. It opened
up until the chain latch reached its limit. I heard him call out to me to
come open the latch but I never moved from the master bedroom upstairs. I
heard him beg and plead about how he was worried that I hurt myself and
that something was seriously wrong, but I never moved. I closed the bedroom
door after that. I had to drown him out somehow. I wanted to be alone and
it wasn't happening.

An hour later I heard the door shut and I guess he had given up. The door
locked and I heard the footsteps go down the walkway back to the car. I
looked out the window and watched him walk away. I felt so bad inside. I
called ahead to his house and left a message telling him I as fine, just
wanted to be alone tonight. Five minutes later, my cell rang and it was
him. Ten minutes and the house phone rang. I finally forced myself to shut
my cell off and take my phone off the hook. Finally, there was peace and
quiet.

That night I tossed and turned thinking about what I had done that night. I
had shut out the most important part of my life and I had hurt him. Now I
hurt and I felt horrible for what I had done. I couldn't sleep so I got up
and got in my car and drove straight over to his house. I was a mess and I
knew it. I pulled up into his driveway and knocked on the front
door. Within seconds the door was opened and there was Justin.

"Jesse? You look like shit man. What happened?"

"Long story. Where's James?"

"Crying himself to sleep upstairs. He's really upset man. What happened?"

"I'll explain later."

I walked up the stairs one at a time and opened the door to the bedroom
slowly. I heard a faint sobbing coming from inside and then he yelled, "GO
AWAY ALREADY!!!"

"James? It's me."

He jumped up out of his bed. "Jesse?? Is it really you?"

"Yes sweetie. It's me. I'm sorry for shutting you out."

"Oh, GOD I am glad you are ok. I was so worried that something bad had
happened to you."

"I'm fine sweetie. Just had a lot on my mind. Things have been crazy around
here today."

"What happened with Autumn that got you so upset?"

"Autumn told some lies to me that were BIG lies. She withheld information
that I had a right to know about."

"What kind of information?"

"You know how she said she wanted me to meet someone in her life?"

"Yeah?"

"It was her 5 year old daughter, Sarah."

"Oh that was nice. She met a guy, had a kid, and then brings the kid to her
ex to show him what he couldn't have. That's wrong."

"You have it all wrong James."

"What do you mean Jesse? You aren't trying to say that Sarah is ... yours
are you?

"That's exactly what I am saying. She lied about the pregnancy test cause
she thought she wasn't. I was so happy cause by then I knew I was gay. When
she found out she really was pregnant, she didn't tell me cause she saw how
happy I was to know she wasn't."

"No wonder you shut me out tonight."

"It's been such a long night but I couldn't sleep without getting it off my
chest. I love you and I want you to know everything about me. But I need
sleep and I need you. So, how about we go to bed?"

"Sounds good to me sweetie."

We crawled into his bed and wrapped ourselves up in each other's arms as we
drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

Justin returned some time later to see James and I snuggled up with happy
grins on our faces. He smiled as he returned to the living room to let the
others know things were ok. They left the house and all was quiet yet again
as we slept the night away in each other's arms wrapped in the safety and
loving warmth of the other.

Hope you all enjoyed this part and I am sorry to have made you wait so long
for it. I will try to have my parts out more frequently. I can't promise
anything. Send feedback. Have gotten a good amount of feedback that helps
me know if you like the story or hate the story. So, send the mail, good,
bad, or evil and let me know what you think.