Date: Sat, 28 Aug 1999 00:55:52 EDT
From: Magic45mj6@aol.com
Subject: Alone But Loved

ALONE BUT LOVED 1

Legal Disclaimer: If you are under age and you are not supposed to read
this kind of thing, please leave.  Neither Nifty nor I will take any
responsibility on the actions of the reader, however illegal it maybe.  If
you are going to use any of my work here, please ask me first.  None of the
things said here is true and even if they are, I'm not about to say that it
is.  Last but not the least, please e-mail me for comments, suggestions, or
ideas at magic45mj6@aol.com (remember to put the title of the story on the
subject!).

Author's Note: Some of you might remember me as the author of "An Angel's
Life."  To the fans of that series, please don't worry because I am not
discontinuing it.  I am still writing on it, its just that I got this idea
for a new story and can't wait to write it down.  So don't think I'm
discontinuing it already, all right?!  Again, all e-mail (except flames)
are gladly accepted so don't hesitate.  Okay, now on with the story!!!


Alone But Loved
By:   Angel


	"Get the hell out of my out of my house, you fag!  I refuse to
accept you as my son!!  Now, get out!"  Dad screamed.  "No, Dad... please,
I'm.... still ::sob:: even if I'm gay, I'm still the same!!!!  I'm not
leaving!!!!" I shouted while crying.  He then grabbed my arm hard and
started shoving me out the door.  "Let me go!  I want to stay here.... I
have nowhere else to go...." I started crying All the while, my Mom was
packing my bags and grabbed other necessities I needed.  After she was
done, she threw them out of the door and into the lawn.  "Get out, Angel,
before things get worse," my Mom said, and then she closed the door.

	"NOOOOO!!!!" I shouted and then I looked around.  I was in a room
that was quite lavishly decorated and then realized where was I.  The phone
rang and I picked it up.  Then I started crying all over again.  And before
I knew it, I was wailing too.  With all the noise I was making, I didn't
realize someone was banging at the door till they opened it.  "What's
wrong, Angel?  Why are you crying?"  Shannon walked over me and I quickly
started hugging her.  She then noticed that someone was talking over the
phone.  So she picked it up and started to listen, then realized who it was
and shouted, "You fucking asshole!  Do you have any fucking idea what
you're doing to him??  And you have the nerve to call yourself a father,
you sick, unrelenting, son of a bitch!!"  Then she slammed the phone hard
on the handset and began to hug and comfort me.  "Where's Britney?"  I
asked in between sobs and hysterics.  "I'll go get her, all right??  Please
stop crying because I hate to see you like this," she said looking at me,
and then ran off to get Britney.

	When I heard the doors close, I started crying all over again.

***Lounge***

	"This tour will be a major bombshell to the fans!" Britney said.
She was talking about the tour BSB's management cooked up for the coming
millenium.  "Yea!!  I can't believe we've never done this before, and it
was right under our noses," said AJ excitedly.  "I agree, it will be a hit,
considering N'Sync is going to be there too.  I haven't seen them for
awhile and it's going to be lots of fun going on tour with them," Brian
added.  "What I can't believe is that of all the people, Kevin "actually"
didn't come up with this tour!" Nick joked.  Kevin threw a pillow at him
while Nick tried to block it.  Unfortunately, he was positioned in a way
that made him fall on his back caused by the impact of the pillow.  This
caused his fries to fly up and then fall all over him and around the place.
Everyone started laughing while Nick tried to pick up all the fries.  "I
don't know about you guys but I can't wait to meet Christina again.  We
both have a lot of catching up to do since the MMC days," Britney said.

	Suddenly, running footsteps can be heard coming closer and closer.
"Why on earth is that person running?" Kevin asked to no one in particular.
Then, the door burst open and there stood an emotional wreck, Shannon.
"Britney, its Angel.  He..." but Shannon didn't get to finish because
Britney was out of there in an instant.  She took a moment to wipe the
tears on her eyes and looked at the guys.  "What's going on here?" asked
Howie.  "Yea, and who is this Angel guy?" Nick said.  Shannon just motioned
for them to follow and then ran off to Angel's room.  "Wait!" Kevin said
and then went in pursuit followed by the others.

***Angel's Suite***

	'Why does this have to happen to me?' I thought.  It wasn't my
fault I turned out to be... gay.  And how can they just kick me out.... I
was only 12 1/2 at that time and had nowhere to go.  What I can't believe
is that they demanded that my aunts and uncles will not make contact with
me or help me in any way.  I just couldn't take it anymore, being all
alone.  Hell, I think I'm the 1st and only 14 year old to become a dancer
for a popular singer.  Let alone be here, at all.  So many times I've
thought of suicide, but Britney's always there to hold me back.  I don't
know what'll I do without her always being there for me.

	Images of my past started flashing again in my mind.  When my
parents kicked me out of the house.  My Mom throwing out my luggage into
the front lawn and my Dad screaming and hollering about how disgusted and
disappointed he was....  Then I saw my cousin Alma... and that's when I
started crying uncontrollably again.  I hated myself for bringing all this
histeria on all my relatives.  Now I can never see Alma again.  I started
hearing movements and someone shouting but I didn't pay any attention to it
and continued crying.

	Britney slammed the door to my room open and flicked on the lights.
She saw me on the side of my bed with my blankets all around me while I was
crying.  "Oh Angel, stop crying... stop crying... I'm here... sshhhh," she
said sitting down next to me.  I hugged her and started crying on her
shoulder while she patted my back.  Just then, Shannon came with the
Backstreet Boys behind her.  They stopped asking questions when they saw me
in there, crying.  Britney looked up and started firing questions at
Shannon.  "What happened here, Shannon?  And why is he crying this bad??"

	"He had that dream again... the one he's always having now and
then.  I heard him shout so I went here as fast as I can... and," she
started to cry.  "And.. I tried to comfort him, and that's when I noticed
him listening to the phone.  I listened to it and I heard
his...... Dad...." She trailed of and sobbed.  "WHAT??  How did his Dad
know where we are, let alone know what hotel we're staying at?"  Britney
shouted, her face getting an angry expression.  "I don't know, I don't
know.  I just hung up on him and started to comfort him and all, and then
he asked where you were and.....  ::sob:: .... I... I... I'm sorry,
I..... have to go and talk to TJ," and with that, Shannon walked off.
Meanwhile, the Backstreet Boys were still standing there taking in
everything that was unfolding with confused and sad faces.

	"I want to die, Britney.  I... I can't live with this anymore.  Why
does this have to happen to me?" I hollered.  Britney was taken aback with
what I just said but continued to hug me tighter.  "Shhh!  Don't say that,
Angel.  C'mon, you're a talented young teenager, and you have a lot ahead
of you in the future.  And I'll be crushed if anything happens to you,"
Britney said. She then looked up to the guys and said, "Umm, could you
guys...."

	"Sure.  We'll be in the living room if you need any of us, okay?"
Kevin said while ushering everyone into the next room.  "Yeah," Britney
answered.  Kevin closed the door behind him while Britney continued to talk
to Angel.

***Living Room***

	"What is going on here?"  Brian asked.  He took a seat on the couch
beside Howie while Nick sat at the other side.  Kevin and AJ each grabbed a
chair from the kitchen and brought them back in the living room.  "I'm sure
that whatever it is, Britney's handling it right now," Kevin answered
trying to reassure Brian.  Nick, meanwhile, was in deep thought over what
had happened so far and AJ noticed this.  "Hey Nick, you all right?
Hello?!?  Earth to Nick.... Sheesh, you are out of it, man" AJ said trying
to get Nick's attention but obviously failing.  Brian nudged Nick on the
ribs snapping him back to reality.  "Huh?  What?  Oh yeah... I'm fine,"
Nick answered.  "You sure?"  Brian asked and Nick nodded.  Thirty minutes
passed when Britney finally came out of the room.

	Everyone stood up when they saw Britney exit the room.  "You guys,
we're not in a hospital you know?!"  Britney said smiling.  "Sit down," she
said finally motioning them go ahead while she grabbed a chair.  "He's
asleep, thank goodness," she said in relief with her head looking down on
the floor.  "What's all this about anyway?  And why all the anger towards
his Dad??  Why did e want to die?"  Nick asked hurriedly.  Britney looked
at him for about five seconds and then sighed.  "I might as well tell you
guys his story."

	"It's okay, Britney.  You don't have to tell us anything you know?
We're not pushing you into anything you don't want to do," Kevin said.
Britney looked at him and smiled.  "Thanks, but Angel himself told me to
tell you guys.  You are bound to anyway, and now is a good time as ever to
tell," Britney sighed again.  "Okay....."

	"Well, ever since Angel was twelve, he's known that he was gay,"
Britney started.  "He is?"  Nick asked.  "Yeah," Britney said in response.
"Twelve..... How old is he now?"  Nick asked again.  "Umm, 14.... his
birthday was last September 15," Britney answered again.  "Fourteen?
Wow.... And he's one of your dancers?"  Nick asked, again.  "Yeah," Britney
answered, again smiling.  "He's really talented," she added.  "So, he must
be this young dancer everyone is talking about," Kevin said.  "Oh?" Britney
said in surprise.  "I didn't know many people talked about him."

	"Yeah, lot's of people.  Kept on sayin' how good he was at dancing,
but even better at.... singing?" Kevin ended in a question while looking at
Britney who just smiled.  "Yeah, you guys should here him sing, he can
whoop your asses of the charts if he had a single.  I've been forever
trying to get him a singing career, but he always says not yet," Britney
said.  "Now that you mention it, I think I've also heard of him before.
Remember when we had a dance rehearsal with Fatima and Nick here kept on
making mistakes?  Then Fatima said, "C'mon Nick!  I know someone who can
dance better than you ever did.  And his name was Angel and in fact, he's
one of Britney Spears' dancers... and he's only 14!!" AJ said, mimicking
Fatima.  "I remember that," Nick said with a smile.  "You should!" Brian
smirked.  "Anyway, before you were so rudely interrupted," Howie said,
giving a look-over at the guys, "Continue with the story."  Britney's
response was, "Oh,"

	"When Angel was twelve and a half, he finally broke down to his
parents and told them about his sexuality.  Apparently, they didn't take it
so well and kicked him out of the house.  Poor guy had nowhere to go,"
Britney said with a sad face.  "He contacted his cousin at Los Angeles and
went over to live with her.  After a few days or months, thank goodness he
finished high school, by the way," Britney squeezed in.  "Is he a genius or
something?" Kevin asked.  "No, his parents were loaded with money so they
got him a tutor.  That's why he's been able to go through "school" fast."
Britney answered.

	"Anyway, Angel tried to contact his other relatives, but all they
told him was that his parents forbid them to support nor help him out,"
Britney said.  "What?" said the surprised Brian.  "I can't believe they did
that...." Nick added.  "Yeah... and they had the money to do it to.  That
was one of the reasons I was angry when Angel's dad had contacted him here.
Anyway, Angel sorted out that his cousin, Alma, was the only one not
controlled by his parents so he continued to live with her.  He went to
college at UCLA and took dance classes on his free time.  After finishing a
year of college, he decided to take a break from it and continued taking
dance classes.  I guess his teacher saw a potential in him and referred him
to my management because we were short one dancer.  They were hesitant at
1st to take in a 14 year old but once they saw his ability, they took him."
Britney said.  There was a knock at the door and then it opened.

	"Hey Britney," Shannon said.  "Can me and TJ see Angel?" she asked.
"Sure, but he's sleeping though," Britney answered.  "That's okay.  We
won't stay long," Shannon said and walked in to my room followed by a guy.
"Who's he?" Nick asked.  Britney looked at him and said, "Do I detect
something behind that question?"  Nick started to blush and this got the
others laughing.  "He's one of my dancers, Nick!" she finally answered.
"Oh," Nick said, still blushing.

	"The rest is history for him and me, I guess.  But, when he tried
to contact Alma, his parents got a hold of her," Britney ended.  "How can
his parents do that?  I mean, he was so young then.  It must have totaled
him to have his parents act that way.  And all because he is gay," Nick
said making everyone look at him.  The other guys knew exactly where Nick
was going at this, but Britney was in la-la-land about it.  "What are you
talking about?" asked the confused Britney.  "Britney, I don't know how to
say this but...." Nick didn't get to finish.  "Your gay, huh?" Britney
finished.

	"How did you know?" Brian asked.  "Oh please, I saw his reactions
while I was telling you guys about Angel.  And then that question he asked
when he saw TJ... he was almost asking weather TJ was Angel's boyfriend or
something!" Britney answered, then saw a scared look on Nick.  "Relax Nick,
I'm okay with it.  Really!" Britney reassured.  'Oh this is so good!  Now I
can put two and two together between Nick and Angel, and watch the
fireworks spark!!  Ha, I'm so good," Britney thought.  Nick finally looked
at her and smiled.  "Thanks!"

	"So does anyone else know about this?" Kevin asked in a paternal
tone.  "Management know, so hell won't break loose when something bad
happens," Britney said getting a laugh from everyone else.  "Then there's
Shannon, TJ, me, and finally you guys," she said.  "Did anyone say our
names?"

	Britney looked around and saw TJ and Shannon coming out of my room.
"Hey, you guys," Britney said.  "He's still sleeping so don't worry.  We'll
be going back to our rooms now, okay?  Goodnight!" TJ said and he walked
off to a door, which connected to his room while Shannon went to another.
"Angel has really good friends," AJ commented.  "Yea, he has," Britney said
looking down.  "What are we going to do with N'Sync and Christina with us
on tour?" Howie finally asked.  The guys looked over to Britney who just
smiled again.  "You guys don't have to worry about anything because N'Sync
knows already, and I think Christina will be okay with it too."  Britney
answered.  "N'Sync knew about this already?" Nick asked.

	"Yeah!  In fact, Justin and Lance were the 3rd and 4th people to
know about Angel.  I was last," Britney said the last one with a
disappointed tone but perked up again.  "So that would make Shannon and TJ
the 1st and 2nd people?" Kevin asked and got a nod from Britney.  "Okay, at
least it's all out."

	"But what about you Nick?" Britney asked remembering him.  "We'll
tell everybody in due time," Brian answered for Nick but Nick nudged him.
"My gosh you guys, look at the time!  It's already a quarter past 12 so we
better go to bed," Britney said with a yawn and stood up.  The others also
began to stand up and walk to the door.  Nick was the last to go out but
turned back to Britney and said, "We'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

	Britney smiled at this, "Yeah, and don't worry.  Angel will be his
normal self in about three days!"  Nick blushed again while Britney
laughed.  "Goodnight!" said Britney and then Nick closed the door behind
him.  "Wait up you guys!"

	As Nick neared the guys he began to dread over himself.  What will
happen to him?  He still has to tell everybody else about his sexuality and
had no idea how N'Sync or Christina will react.  Brian noticed Nick's
sudden brooding and decided to calm him down.  "Relax Nick, if N'Sync
accepted Angel, I'm sure they'll accept you," Brian said, "And I'm sure
that Christina will be okay with it too."

	"Nick, just remember that you are still the same person and we love
you," AJ said trying to reassure Nick.  "Thanks you guys," Nick said.  The
guys reached their rooms and said good-night to each other.  Nick stripped
down to his boxers and plopped down on his bed.  He turned around and
stared at the ceiling again, in deep thought.  'What will happen when "I"
tell my parents??' he though, and fell asleep.

To be continued..........

Author's Note: Well, what do you guys think?  What I think is that I've
made some progress on my story writing and this is the best so far.  I
might continue on with both series, but with school starting next Thursday,
my life will be hell.  I need you readers' opinions though: do you think I
should discontinue my other series, "An Angel's Life" and continue with
this one, or write both???  I need feedback on this story people so write
those e-mails!!  Again, I need your decision if I should continue on with
this..... or my other story, "An Angel's Life" (you guys should read both
this and the other story before you decide)?  Or should I do both?  Anyway,
last... if you readers have any comments/suggestions/ideas, please e-mail
me at magic45mj6@aol.com so don't hesitate to drop a line.  Flames will be
ignored!!!