Date: Sat, 08 Sep 2001 15:02:33 -0400
From: Jennifer Lankford <silverwings4ever@hotmail.com>
Subject: And I Swear - Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Here I am again, sitting in front of another black Word
document, waiting for inspiration to come along. Little pictures of
Backstreet Boys dancing in my head. But yet, I don't know them, and I
don't own them. And I don't know anyone they know. This is all fiction
of course. This D-O-E-S-N-O-T deal with the killing/suicide of AJ MCLEAN!
LET'S GET THAT STRAIGHT NOW! Any Backstreet Boys fan knows that AJ's
real name is Alexander James ~underlines James 5 times for Nifty~ McLean.
Yes, it says he killed himself but, he staged it, boo, I told you the
truth, kill me now. But I have to have something to think about before I
go to sleep so, this is real to me, just another world I can get lost in
till it comes to an end. silverwings4ever@hotmail.com if you want to
contact me, http://www.angelfire.com/music2/slipupwizshs/index.html if
you want more stories or pictures of the characters or just about
anything my little mind can come up with.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And I Swear - Chapter 4

The next morning, James woke up at 5, as usual and slowly sat up, then
fell back, straight on his back on the bed with a grunt. Finally when the
alarm went off for 5:30 he slowly got out of bed and headed toward the
bathroom.

After taking a shower, and shaving, James pulled his now long hair back
into a ponytail and pulled on a new pair of boxers.

`Crap!' James thought, `All my clothes are in the dresser in the other
room.'

James walked to his bedroom door and slowly opened it to see if Tom and
Amy were asleep. `I can't keep being a chicken because of two people.
Just get this over with, if they see, they see.' James thought and
slowly opened his bedroom door completely and walked over to the dresser
on the other side of the room, passing both Amy and Tom.

Grabbing out a pair of socks, a dark blue shirt, and a pair of black
jeans out of the drawers of one of his dressers, he carefully closed the
drawers and lightly walked back to his room on tip-toes to avoid waking
either of the two up.

Just when he was about at his door Amy called out to him, "Hey, James, is
that you?"

James stopped, with hand on door knob, "Yeah, it is, go back to sleep
Amy, we'll talk later." And continued into his room.

"Wait," Amy said and sat up, "Where did you get those tattoos?"

"What tattoos?" James asked stupidly.

"The ones all over your back, arms, and chest." Amy said and looked James
over.

"Ummm..." James looked for an answer that wouldn't give his background
away. "Reckless days, when I used to be a rebel and didn't know any
better, I regret them now, can you not tell anyone about them, please?
It's embarassing to me." James lied, he didn't regret his tattoos, he
could think of 15 more that he wanted, but didn't have the guts to leave
town without reason.

"Oh, no, I won't tell, James. I'm sorry, it's just that, you keep to
yourself a lot and nobody actually knows anything about your past, I was
just wondering." Amy said.

James looked at Tom briefly before looking back at Amy over his shoulder.
He turned around, "Come into my bedroom, I'll tell you, as long as you
don't tell a sole, I'll have to kill you." James said and gave a small
smile, indicating that he was joking.

Amy got up off the couch and quietly walked into James' room.

James sat down on the bed and sighed. "I guess it's best I tell someone
anyway, I think it'll help me some."

Amy sat down beside James on the bed cross-legged and looked at him.

James was quiet for a minute, then spoke, "What kinda' music do you
listen to, Amy?"

"Country, a little pop, when I can find a station, and christian." Amy
replied, wondering where he was leading this conversation.

"You said a little bit of pop, so if I say a chorus of the song, you
would probably recognize it, right?"

"Maybe, depends, I guess."

"Okay," James said. He went through his mind and decide what to sing.
"I'll give you an easy one."

"Tell me why, ain't nothin' but a heart ache,

Tell me why, ain't nothin' but a mistake,

Tell me why, I never wanna' hear you say,

I want it that way."

"Oh, that is easy, that's the Backstreet Boys -- I Want It That Way."
Amy said, sure of herself.

"You're right, can you tell me who the members of the group are, or do
you know."

"Do you mean right now? Or when they started?"

"When they started." James said and looked at her, expecting her to get
his clues at any moment.

"Kevin Richardson, Brian Littrell, Nick Carter, Howie Dorough, and AJ
McLean." Amy said.

"You're right. And you know what happened to AJ right?"

"Yeah, he drank to much and became depressed, and killed himself."

"You're right, he did, AJ killed himself." James said and looked at the
floor.

"What's wrong, James? You look a little down." Amy said and scooted
closer to James.

"Do you know AJ's whole name?" James said and looked Amy straight in the
eye.

"Alexander James McLean, I followed them a little when I was younger."

"Correct, and what ever happened to him again?" James asked.

"He killed himself." Amy said.

"No, he didn't." James said.

"Yes he did, it was all over the news for months, I remember, everybody
was so sad."

"Amy take a good close look at me, who am I?"

Amy looked James over once, "You're James Scout, from California."

"You're right, but that's not what it says on my drivers license."
James said and laughed.

James got up and walked over to the dresser in this bedroom, that was
across from his bed. He opened the top drawer and tossed an old black
leather wallet at Amy, "Look inside," James said, closing the drawer, not
turning around, "And then tell me who I am." James hung his head and
waited.

James heard the velcro on the wallet open and heard pages flip.

"You're..... You're.... You're......" Amy said, not being able to finish
the sentence.

"Yep, I am, I'm Alexander James McLean, from Orlando, Florida, who
killed himself in 2001 because of depression and drinking," James said
and walked over to the bed and sat back on the bed. "I didn't kill
myself, I wasn't even in the same hotel when that happened, I found a
guy that looked like me and drew tattoos on him and left notes to all the
guys and came here, to the smallest town in Texas, where no one would
ever find me, I changed my name, my appearance, and attitude so that no
one would be able to figure out that I once was an international pop star
that had millions of dollars and sang every night to teenagers that were
gullible enough that I was perfect in every way and I was to infallible
if any of them ever met me."

James laid back on the bed, waiting for Amy's response.

Minutes passed, and neither spoke.

"But why?" Amy finally said.

"I was unhappy, I was depressed, I didn't want to be in the spotlight
anymore. I love the stage, and singing and dancing, but, it was too much.
The screaming, the fans, the hours it took, the money spent on something
that wasn't even real, I began to hate it, and I wanted out. So, I found
a guy, that was already dead in the alley, got him up to my room, made
him look like me, and then left, with nothing more than my actual wallet
and pictures of my family and friends."

"You could've just quit," Amy said. "Wouldn't that work?"

"No, it wouldn't have, I would still be in the spotlight whenever I
walked outside my house. Every time I turned a corner some photographer
would be standing next to a reporter wanting to know the who what when
where and why I quit. It wasn't worth it."

"So why here? Why in this town? Why not some fancy city where you could
have everything?" Amy asked.

"I wanted the most simple thing I could find, I decided on Texas because
its Country, not Pop and R&B it's known for its Country singers, and
rodeos... not its Pop stars."

Amy nodded, understanding why he picked Death's Stop.

"You do realize that you can't tell anyone, right? I'm still James
Scout, who comes from California." James said and looked at Amy.

"Yeah, I do, that's a big thing for me to keep, but, I won't tell
anyone James, I promise." Amy said and smiled. "I would like to know how
you do some of those dances though." Amy laughed and hit James on the
shoulder. "That would be wicked."

"All right, sometime I will teach you, but right now, I have to get to
Jake's to help with the herd and branding." James said and pushed Amy
off the bed, now leave, I have to get dressed." James laughed and watched
Amy close the door behind her as she left.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Send me word on what you think! silverwings4ever@hotmail.com