Date: Tue, 10 Jul 2001 13:09:08 EDT
From: Angel36745@aol.com
Subject: Angelic1

  Disclaimer: I don't know BSB or anyone connected to them in anyway. I
don't know their sexual preferences, this is just a story. I made it all up
in my own little twisted world. Well, it's not that twisted but that's not
the point.

  Warning: I don't know where this is going, or what will happen. I've had
this story on my mind for the past couple of months. There may be sex, but
if there is it won't be in the first chapter. So if that's what you're
looking for you might want to look in another place. Now there is one major
super natural kick in this, it deals with Angels. I know first Sryin's,
then Ghosts, then Elf's, and so on but I can't help it, really I can't. :)

   Authors Note: Well I'm back and my BSB kick, and I've left for other
bands alone. Now that most likely won't last for long so don't get your
hopes up. If you have time and like this story check out some of my other
stories. I'll leave a small list at the end of this chapter. I don't have
an editor anymore, so most likely there will be a few mistakes. I would
also like to add that if you have the time to please e-mail me. I love feed
back and in some ways it helps get the next chapter out. Ok I'm going to
explain my symbols and my way of writing. I write in the first person point
of view, so to tell the story better I switch characters. I use these ***
to do that and I also use those symbols to start off the chapter. I will
put the name of the characters name in between the symbols when I start a
chapter. When I change the character in the middle of the chapter or any
part of the chapter the name will be at the end of the symbols. As of right
now those are the only symbols I use. If I add more symbols I will explain,
now on with the story I hope you enjoy it.


***Loki***

  I stood on top of the largest building in New York City. My wings out
stretched waiting to catch wind if I decided to descend. I looked upward
toward the heavens I would never again enter. I didn't understand how my
actions could have been so wrong, I had only saved a life. It's a given
that I shouldn't have, and that it was the mans time to die. I just
couldn't let it happen, I had cared about him to much. He still died days
later and I was sent to earth for punishment. I was never given a time for
how long this would last, but I didn't care anymore. They had taken my
healing powers away stripped me of most of my given gifts. I still didn't
need food or water, nor did I ever need to rest. I could still hide my
wings within my back, but now I could feel. I had never been able to feel
before my punishment had begun. I was able to with stand most things, even
now the wind slightly chilled my skin. It wasn't that bad, I guess that had
been a gift in itself. I watched as the humans pulled their coats closer to
their bodies. I smiled to myself slightly and thanked God for not letting
me suffer like they did. Still I found that I was becoming more human with
every day that passed. I don't know how much this would affect me in
time. My body was starting to change in interesting ways, and that worried
me.

  When I had first been sent to earth as a punishment I had still held my
perfection. I didn't look as human as I did now, but still I continued to
change. I now carried a small amount of hair on my chest. I had to wash
myself everyday to stay clean, but I was thankful that my wings still
remained. As I looked at myself I noticed that other human parts were
starting to take shape. I knew that I was given a male form in the
beginning of time, but not all that parts. Now I was starting to get the
parts that I hadn't before, I found it amusing. I still hadn't walked
around with the humans, I did my best to stay out of sight. I didn't like
having to hide my wings, or wear clothing. I had spent my whole life
without clothing, I had nothing to be ashamed of. Only now my mind wondered
if that was ever truly true. I had worn clothing around my friend that I
had lost, he had said it made him feel better. Now I thought of dawning
something like that once again, I just had to find something to wear. I
opened my wings slightly and took the air, such a wonderful feeling. I
touched down in an ally and looked in the dumpsite hoping to find some
clothing. I found some dark clothing, it was torn but it would do for what
I had in mind.

  I pulled my wings back into my back hiding them for the time being. I
shook my head making myself look a little wild. I had long hair, it was
common in heaven, why I don't know. It wasn't like it was past my waist,
just mid way down my back. It went into a sharp point, like a V shape so to
speak. When my wings were present it looked natural that my hair was shaped
like that. My bane's could easily cover my face if I let them, I thought of
myself as a handsome mortal now. I guessed that it would be what I would
become in time. I knew that I would someday lose my wings along with my
other gifts that I still held onto. I walked out on the streets and looked
at the people, so many souls in need of help. I guess I couldn't stop
myself from picking up old habits, it was the reason I was here. I still
missed my friend, but I knew he was in a far better place than I was now. I
knelt down beside a homeless man and touched his forehead, his thoughts
stopped instantly. I couldn't heal this man but I could help him help
himself, not such a hard task. I put information into his mind, I taught
him what years of school should have taught him. He took in a breath and
closed his eyes, when he opened them I would be gone. He would have a
chance to make something of himself, I just hoped that he took it.

  I spent the next few days helping as many people as I could. I didn't
know if anything I had done was helping, I could only pray that it was. I
took my torn shirt off and let my wings flow outward. I then took to the
skies searching for something to do that would ease my mind. I was slightly
tired from all of the teaching I had been doing. My body was as strong as
ever but my mind wasn't. I had taken a lot out of myself hoping that I
could make some changes to the world. I decided that I would travel to
another city and continue my work. I found the further south I went the
better the land looked. I had never really paid all the much attenion to
earth. The people were one thing but the land had never given me a reason
to look at it. Now that I had to live on earth it was another story all
together. I slowly touched the ground in a forest, the air was so clean. I
could hear the hunters moving through the forest. I almost laughed to
myself, most would fear for their life, I did not. No man made weapon or
object would ever cause any harm to me, that much I knew would always
last. They could fire their guns, but it wouldn't even get past my
skin. Their bullets would bounce off my skin as if it were the hardest
stone or metal on earth. I took to the skies once again, no need to ruin
their fun. I found myself on the outskirts of a new city.

  I started working as soon as I found myself a new shirt. I didn't want to
spend to much time here I had plans. I wanted to move from city to city
helping as many as I could along the way. I also found that I didn't want
to get attached to another human like I had done before. I knew that if I
got attached history might repeat itself once again, in honesty that
worried me. Then there was the fact that I was becoming more human
everyday. I feared that if I let myself get attached again I might even
fall in love with that human. So I kept moving never really giving myself
time to look back or wonder if I was doing any good. Then one night while
flying over the city I heard some wonderful music coming from an arena. I
decided I would take some time and listen to the young men sing their
songs. So I sat myself down on top of the building and listened, I wanted a
better seat. So I flew down to the ground and snuck into a dressing area
hoping to find some good clothing. I found a nice pair of pants and a nice
shirt so I decided to change in front of a mirror. I was little shocked to
see that I looked human without my clothing now. I shook it off and got
dressed, I would return the clothes once the show was over. With my wings
safely out of sight I walked further into the building.

  I had a few problems getting past the guard but it was nothing I couldn't
mind wrap my way out of. I got close to the stage and watched the young men
sing and dance their hearts out. Still I wanted a closer look, but I knew
that I had done enough thus far. So I just watched them sing and dance. I
decided that after the show I would see if any of them needed any
help. Once the show was over I snuck back stage and found myself close to
their dressing rooms. I knew I was in the wrong area so I followed a few
fan's to the area they were being taken to. I sat down and watched as the
guys spoke with the fans and signed autographs. I stayed a short distance
back until one of the young men moved toward me. "I've noticed that you
haven't made one move toward us since you've been here. I'm just guessing,
and I could be wrong but you seem a little shy, or you just don't like our
music." I smiled at him and shook my head slowly I loved their music. "I
like your music a lot, it is quite beautiful. As for not approaching you, I
thought you had enough to worry about. You have many people that want
enough of your time as it is, I would not like to take any more of that
time away from you." He smiled slowly and shook his head, then held his
hand out. "I'm Brian, it's nice to meet you?" He paused shortly and then
laughed lightly.

  "I'm Loki, it's nice to meet you as well Brian." I shook his hand then
released it, he had dark thoughts on his mind. He was in need of help but
didn't know how to get any help. I wished that I had kept contact with him
longer. I wanted to look more into his problems, I sensed it caused him a
great deal of pain. I couldn't just touch him without permission, not with
all of these people around. I decided I would follow him until I could find
a way to help him. "What are you doing after the concert, any plans?" I
shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. "None that I know of, I'm as free
as I can be." He smiled and moved back toward his friends. I followed him
hoping it was the right move to make, he hadn't really invited me. "This is
Loki I was hoping you guys wouldn't mind him tagging along with us
tonight." The guys looked up and then looked back down, then looked up
again. "I don't see a reason why he can't Bri, nice to meet you
Loki. Interesting name, did your mother give it to you?" I shook my head
and laughed lightly, then looked into the tallest ones eyes. "No, my father
gave it to me, but thank you for asking." My voice seemed to catch his
attenion. "Wow you have a really deep voice, and no accent that I can
really pick up on. Where are you from, if you don't mind my asking?" I
smiled, that was indeed a very good question.

  "I'm from up north, but I never really stay in the same place for to
long." That seemed to satisfy him enough to go onto the next question. "Who
does your hair, it's a style I haven't really seen." I smiled again and
took a deep breath getting ready to answer. "Kev, leave the man alone, quit
giving him the fifth degree. How do you expect for us to make any friends
with you always chasing them away?" I looked to the blond and thanked him
silently. "Nick if you don't back off I'm going to give you a reason to
run, I'm just asking him some questions." He looked back at me and smiled
lightly then looked to Brian. "Are any of these questions getting are your
nerves Loki?" I nodded slightly then looked to Brian as well. "It's not
really getting on my nerves, but I don't really see the reason in asking
them. As to answer your last question my hair just grows this way." He
looked a little shocked, as if I had been rude with him in someway. "I
don't believe in lying or for that matter tip toeing around any subject. If
you find that I'm being too blunt then I'm sorry if it hurts your
feelings. On the other hand that will not change in anyway. I am who I am,
I can be no one else, I refuse to change myself to make someone else feel
better." Kevin's eyes had gotten wide, then he smiled brightly and held his
hand out. I shook his hand and looked into his heart and mind, he had no
true troubles.

  "I'm sorry I came off so harsh by asking you so many questions. It's just
that in our line of work it's hard to find people to trust. You're more
than welcome to hang out with us tonight, and tomorrow if you want to." I
smiled and agreed without second thought I had to find a way to help
Brian. I had also learned the others names from my short contact with
Kevin. "Could you wait for us here until we can get showered and dressed?"
I nodded and found myself a seat, ten minutes later they returned. I stood
and followed them out of the arena to their bus. "We have to make a quick
stop at our hotel, then we'll hit the clubs." I nodded slowly and found a
seat, the two men I hadn't met before looked at me and smiled. "I'm Loki,
it's nice to meet you." I held my hand out and shook their hand one after
another. Still I found no problems within their hearts or minds. I was
starting to get slightly confused with them, how could only one of them
have a problem. Then again I had yet to make contact with Nick, he could
have something to do with Brian's problems. When we arrived at the hotel I
was invited in with them. I was sitting a very large room waiting for them
to return. Nick was the first one to get back out to the room. I held my
hand out to him, which he shook quickly. Still I found nothing to do with
Brian's problem.

  After that was over with we headed toward a club that had some very
interesting music. I found that I hadn't had any trouble getting into the
club while I was with the guys. "So what do you do Loki, I mean like as a
job." I looked at Brian and smiled and pretended not to hear him all that
well. He moved closer and places his hand on my shoulder and his hand on my
ear. Once the contact was made I started searching his mind, trying to root
out his problem. What I found shocked and me and sickened me at the same
time. I knew now that I would not leave his side until I could stop this
abuse that he was getting. "I don't really have a job, I just move around
and help when I can." The answer seemed to confuse him, then he started
nodding. "So you work with churches, that's an amazing job man. I had
thought about doing that myself before I joined the band." I smiled to him,
it might have saved him some heart ache. I knew that I could help him, but
it might cause me to reveal myself to him. I wasn't to worried, I knew that
he had prayed for help on countless nights. I couldn't give him all the
help he needed, but I would do what I could. I felt for him, he lived a
life of secrets and some of those secrets hurt him deeply. Like I had said
I could help him in some areas, he just had to learn that something's
didn't need any help, and that was fine the way he was.

  I knew how to help him with the things that were really a problem. The
one thing I couldn't help him on was being himself. He thought that his
feelings for the same sex was wrong. It wasn't wrong in any way shape or
form, well that was what I believed. Now I could try to help him accept
that fact but it wouldn't be easy. He also thought that he was being
punished for his feelings. That was why he prayed for one thing to stop
another. I knew that by hanging out with them tomorrow I could meet the
source of Brian's problems. I knew there was only one real way to help him,
and it meant revealing myself. I had to show him that he reason to have
faith, and that his choices were just that choices. What he did on earth
did affect what happened in the after life, but not the way he was
thinking. Where there was love there was his grace, it was simple to
understand. Not many people knew that little fact, it was one of the
reasons so much hate existed on this world. If I could teach anything it
would be that of love, it was the most powerful force on earth. Now I had
to teach that lesion to a man that thought his heart had betrayed him. I
noticed that his eyes had followed my every movement through out the
night. He was attracted to me, that I could tell from his body languish. It
was to bad he wouldn't have time to look into those feelings.

  I would be gone in a few days, and would be on my way helping others. "I
should be getting back, where should I meet you tomorrow?" He looked toward
the guys and then back to me. "What's your last name I'll make sure you can
get in our hotel." I looked at him, no one had ever asked my last name. I
didn't really have one that I knew of, and I didn't want to lie. I closed
my eyes and ears to the world and asked what I should do, but I got no
answer. "Warrior, my full name is Loki Warrior, but I do not have an ID."
Brian nodded slowly and wrote the information down. I nodded and stood to
leave, Brian stood with me. "It was really nice meeting you Loki, I look
forward to seeing you tomorrow." I nodded and shook his hand, then he
surprised me by pulling me into a hug. That was a great amount of contact
and gave me enough time to look into his whole life. He lived for the most
part a wonderful life, it had only started to go down hill two years
ago. He was far to afraid to ask for help from his fellow band members, to
afraid to be honest with them. I wished now that I had looked into that
part of their hearts. Then maybe I could give him some really good advice.

  I didn't think his fellow band mates would really give him a problem. In
fact I had a feeling that they would in fact support him no matter
what. All this had gone through my mind in a matter of seconds. I now
pulled away from Brian and smiled, then I left the club and went to the
back of the building. I slipped the shirt off and let my wings free from
their small prison. I couldn't just discard this shirt I had to return it
from the place I had taken it from. I took to the skies and flew back to
the building I had taken the shirt from. I entered silently and placed the
clothing I had taken back, then I stared at my reflection. I had now become
human with my body, my wings remained for the time being. I hoped that I
wouldn't lose them any time soon, I worried that I would.  I needed them to
carry out my own mission. I looked away from the mirror and looked for some
more clothing that I could barrow. I picked out some normal clothing and
placed them in a bag I had found. I then found the clothes I had left
behind and put them on, then I made some holes in the back of the shirt. I
released my wings once again, this time I was fully clothed. I walked back
outside and flew to their hotel and landed softly on the top of the
building.

  I sat there for most of the night and just watched the world. I hadn't
done this in a very long time, or so it seemed. I guess my mind was
starting to move slower and notice things on a slower basis. I took to the
sky about an hour before the sun was supposed to rise. I found an out door
pool, then I slowly sat foot on the ground. I then stripped and jumped in,
had to clean up a little. I swam around for a little while and just looked
up into the sky. I got out of the pool and looked at the doors that led to
the showers. I wondered if the doors were locked, it wouldn't really be a
problem. I opened the door with very little force and entered. I took a
warm shower and then went back out side where my clothing was waiting. I
heard sirens in the distance and remembered that most places had alarms. I
shrugged my shoulders and grabbed my clothing then I took off again. I
didn't worry about getting dressed, I didn't really have time to get
dressed. I moved to another out door pool and washed my clothing as best I
could. I still had the new clothing, but I had to return those after I
helped Brian. So I wanted my normal clothing a little cleaner than it
normally was. After I felt satisfied I put the wet clothing on and headed
back toward the hotel. I sat on top of the roof and watched the sun slowly
rise.

  I took the clothing back off and made sure I was out of sight. I let the
suns rays dry my clothing for me. I stayed on the roof for three hours, it
was getting close to eight in the morning. I then slipped into the pants
that I had borrowed and quickly reached the ground in the back of the
hotel. My wings then went back to their hiding place and then I pulled the
shirt over my head. I pulled my hair off the back of my neck and walked
toward the front of the building. I entered the hotel and walked up to the
front desk, the lady started smiling instantly. "I'm here to see the
Backstreet boys, my name Loki Warrior, I believe it should be written down
somewhere." The lady gave me an odd smile and went through her notes. "Here
it is, and it says not to worry about an ID, ok then here's a key, it's on
the twelfth floor." I thanked her and walked toward the elevator, then
pressed the button for the twelfth floor. I hummed along with the elevator
all the way up to the twelfth floor, then the door's opened. I was then
faced with two very big guards, they did look all that happy to see
me. "I'm here to see the guys, my name is Loki Warrior, so may I pass?" The
guard looked down at his note pad and then he started smiling. "Sure, I'll
take you to the sitting room until all of them get up." I was then led to
nice little area where I could sit and watch TV if I wanted to.

  I turned the TV on and tried to find a news station. Once that was on I
found that I wasn't really making all that much of a difference. I was
doing some good but still all the news people could talk about was the
violence. It was heart breaking to watch, there were stories on shootings
and the killing of innocence. I found an old feeling rising in my chest,
something I had feared would happen. The anger and outrage was beyond
control as they showed the picture and child in a hospital. The child had
been shot by accident in a drive by shooting. In the old days I could have
made the world pay for this action, but now I was powerless, now I was
becoming more human everyday. I wondered if I would soon be like these
beast that killed one another over foolishness. It didn't really matter
anymore, I turned the TV off and laid back against the couch. I noticed
that my energy that was normally endless was starting to run down. I knew
it wasn't becoming human that was doing this to me. I was being faced with
the real world, and how screwed we had let it get. There was a time when we
tried to help the human race. Now all angels kept their distance from
earth, unless they found a human to watch over. I had found a human to
watch over, and now I was here because I couldn't stand to see him die.

  Someone had just jumped onto the couch beside me. I looked over to see
Nick looking at me with a small smile on his face. "Do you mind if I watch
some cartoons?" I shook my head and closed my eyes once again. It took
another thirty minutes for everyone to get up and into the sitting
room. Nick was the only one that seemed to have any energy in the
group. "Look's like someone already got into the coffee." Nick looked over
at Kevin and smiled lightly then went back to watching his cartoons. Soon
someone was sitting on the other side of me.  I looked over to see Brian,
he looked really tired, maybe that was the reason he placed his head on my
shoulder. "If all of you are so tired I could come back later and let you
get some rest." Brian shot up and started shaking his head rather
quickly. "No, I'm wide awake, what do you think about playing some
basketball?" I shrugged my shoulders, it sounded like fun, then I nodded
and stood to go play. "I'll be right back, I'll go grab a shower and get
some clothes on." I sat back down and watched as the others walked around
trying to wake up. "Loki what do you want to eat, I'm ordering breakfast."
I shook my head, there wasn't any need for food. "I don't need anything
thanks for the offer." Kevin smiled and ordered something for me anyway, I
then did something I had never done before, I rolled my eyes.

  Brian walked back into the room and took his seat beside me. "Food's
here, Loki I got you an apple, and a glass of orange juice." I laughed to
myself and stood up then moved to the table. I took a seat and my apple, I
just looked at it for a little while. I watched the other eat like
maniacs. I looked at the glass of orange juice for a little while then back
to my apple. "Are you going to eat, or just look at it all day?" I took a
deep breath and took a bite of the apple. I chewed on it for a little bit,
there wasn't any taste to me. I swallowed then took a drink of the orange
juice, still there wasn't any taste. I finished the apple and the orange
juice. I felt really odd, I could feel the food moving within my body. "May
I use the rest room?" Brian nodded and stood to show me where to go, I then
followed him. Once in the bathroom I looked into the mirror, my face was
starting to pale. I could feel the food moving around, there was a small
amount of pain. I fell to the ground softly, something was happening to my
chest. I pulled the shirt off and tossed it to the side. Second later the
apple, as if I had never bitten it fell from my chest. I moved to the
toilet just in time for the orange juice to pour out. I cleaned up the
small amount of mess that I had made and pulled my shirt back on. I looked
back into the mirror, my face had returned to normal.

  I turned the sank on and flushed the toilet, then walked back to the
table. "So when are we going to play basketball?" Brian looked a little
upset but he did his best to smile. "Well, I have to meet a friend in the
bus real quick, then we can hit the court." I nodded, and I knew who he has
to meet, it was the reason I was here. Brian walked out of the room real
quickly, I turned back and looked at the guys. They had no idea what was
happening, they were so blind. I followed Brian but made sure that I wasn't
making a noise. When he entered the elevator I took to the stairs and
checked to see if he had gotten off at every floor. He got off on the third
floor and walked down the hallway toward an exit. I followed him out and to
the bus, there was a small argument. Brian walked out and a dark haired man
followed him. "If you don't come back here right now I will tell everyone
in the world. Then I'll show them the pictures I took all those years ago."
Brian looked away then slowly turned around. Tears fell from his eyes as he
started to move back toward the bus. "He will do no such thing, and you
will never reveal anything." Brian looked at me, his eyes were so wide with
fear. The dark hair man looked shocked but then he smiled at me. "Well,
what do we have here, another guy to help me black mail Brian." Brian
looked at me, his eyes filled with tears and he started shaking.

  I took my shirt off, the dark haired man smiled brightly. "I didn't take
my shirt off to prove that I was on your side. I took my shirt off so I
could reveal something that may change your tune." My wings flowed outward
and flexed slightly, then I lifted off the ground lightly. The dark haired
man wasn't smiling anymore, he was shaking. Brian had hit his knees, he was
praying for forgiveness. "Stand up Brian and come here, while you stay
right where you are. If you run, you will die a most painful death and
trust me it won't end at that." Brian moved to stand before me, he wouldn't
meet my eyes. "You have no reason to fear me Brian, I'm only here to help
you, and that involves taking care of this unworthy fool." I looked up at
the dark haired man, he looked scared, but he hadn't made any movements
just yet. I walked toward the man slowly leaving Brian to collect himself
somewhat. "So you think it is wise to force Brian to sleep with you, or
that I should I let you rape him? You have a hold on him because he loves
his friends, so you use love to hurt him. Love is the most powerful force
on earth, but you make that force work for the forces of darkness. I cannot
allow this, but I'm sure you know that, since I'm not human. Now on the
other hand I don't normally take lives, I try to save them and help the
people." I had now picked him up off the ground by his throat, I wasn't
choking him yet.

  I looked into his eyes and then into his heart and mind. The images and
thoughts made me sick, how could this thing be human? I searched for a
small glimmer of light and yet I found none. His soul was damned by his
actions that much I could tell without looking further. I wanted to know
more, I wanted to know every crime he had committed against Brian. I looked
through his whole life, he hadn't always had a dark soul. It was sad but
that didn't change the fact of what he had done. He had tricked Brian into
sleeping with him that night. Brian was out of his mind with grief, he was
scared that no one would love him anymore. He feared being rejected and
shunned by those he held closest to his heart. Then this man came out of
nowhere and offered Brian what he thought was love. A few days later the
man revealed his true intent by showing him the pictures he had taken. He
threatened Brian, at first Brian had remained strong, but that soon
changed. The man was far from stupid so he threatened Brian with destroying
the band. Brian had tried to buff him into thinking it wouldn't work, he
had called his buff. So Brian gave in and has been giving in for the past
two years. I dropped the man to the ground and looked at him, there was so
much I could do to him. I decided that it wasn't my place to truly punish
him.

  On the other hand I could stop him from ever hurting Brian again. I had
the gift to put information into peoples minds, it also worked the other
way. I looked down at him once again, he was so afraid. "You have seven
days, in seven days you will not remember anything. It will be like
starting your life over from day one, I wonder how long it will take you to
learn how to talk." His eyes got wide, then he swallowed hard and looked at
Brian. "Even in that amount of time you won't remember Brian, in less than
an hour you will forget he ever existed. Now there is a way to save
yourself from this memoire loss, do you want to know how?" He started
shaking his head up and down rather quickly. "If in seven days you can
destroy every single bit of information you have on Brain you will not lose
all of your memories. I can make to where you will forget about Brian at
the end of those seven days, and not everything else. Now on the other hand
if try to hurt Brian while you still have these memories all of your
memories will fade away instantly. So the second you utter one word against
him you will lose it all. The second you think about sending a picture to a
news paper you will lose it all. I hope you understand everything I've told
you, you have seven days I think you should get moving." I reached down and
touched his forehead making my promise a reality.

  To Be Continued


Other stories that I've written Falling, The Sryin, The Lost, Broken, It's
A Wonderful Life, Gemini, Ghost, Where You Are, Libra, Simple Twist Of
Fate, Double Take, and The Last Kiss Good Night.