Date: Thu, 6 Sep 2001 00:46:01 -0700 (PDT) From: Nike <writer_nike@yahoo.com> Subject: Backstreets: Revelations and Insights 6 Disclaimer: The following is entirely a work of fiction. All characters featured in this story are fictional and are not intended to resemble real persons, hence; it is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of any celebrity might mentioned. The views and opinions mentioned in the text may not represent those of the author. Certain facts stated in this story as true, may have been altered or added for entertainment purposes and may not be real. Some elements included in this fiction may not be suitable for all people, if you're uncertain - please, do not continue. Please turn to the author's Letter of Recognition for more info. Available at the 'Backstreets' website. Website: http://www.geocities.com/writer_nike Author's notes: What can I say? This is late. I had all intentions to have finished season 1 before the end of May. Later on I promised to release this part in July. Which then became August. And now it's September. I'm genuinely sorry for this. I can't promise that the final part will be available any sooner. But rest assured that I will do my best. I want to thank all the people that have e-mailed me and have reviewed my stories. Your words have meant a world of difference to me. I wish to name you all, but that would take up too much space and I would forget names. You are all equally important to me. Thanks once again, you guys rule. I hope you'll find this part to meet with the expectations you have on this story. I haven't written anything for several months and I've lost some of the touch I had with this story. I should probably also mention something about my other story, Into the Millennium. I still don't know when chapter 2 will be released. Finishing it will be my next priority. But who knows? Before I let you continue, I'd just like to say thank you once again to all you people that has stood by me and this story for all this time, thanks for sending me mails, thanks for asking when the next episode will be available, thanks for all suggestions and praise I have recieved. To all my friends out there, I love you all. One day everything will be back to the way it used to be. Or even better. ;-) Nike writer_nike@yahoo.com - I'm always there, ready to listen. ##### Don't miss out on any of my postings, join Forbidden Stories Revealed. A moderated Yahoo Group, to insure nothing but stories being posted. http://www.yahoogroups.com/group/bsbslashstories ##### ******* Backstreets - season 1: Revelations and Insights Written by: Nike ******* "Reach out and touch someone." - AT&T _________ Part 6 - I'm coming home _________ "There's so much going on now. I need someone I can truly rely on and confide in. You're that someone, Brian." Brian sat with the phone in his hand, 'Wow, Nick would be coming back... And he'd be coming back to see me!' he thought. 'He'd rather be with me than with his family.' Brian felt a surge of both joy and a huge responsibility. Nick really did trust in him. Brian began to grasp some of how much he meant to Nick. Nick had chosen to find comfort and shelter with Brian instead of his own family. Brian was determined not to let him down. Brian caught himself sitting in bed with a huge smile on his face. He felt so stupid, grinning as if he had won a million dollars. But it felt so good. He just couldn't help but smile. It was either that or simply jump up and down in the bed, screaming with joy. His heart raced furiously, his hands trembled. His thoughts were becoming irrational. At this very moment, the world ceased turning. 'He'd be coming back.' Brian wanted to welcome him back. To show him that Brian indeed would be there for Nick. No matter what. He picked up the reciever and called Jim. He'd know when Nick would come. *** Jim mumbled something unintelligble in the phone. He wasn't awake, he thought to himself. Then he recognised Brian's voice saying his name. "Jim?" It was Brian. What would Brian want at this time of night? Jim shook his head, trying to get the sleep to go away. He cleared his throat and answered drowsy. "Yeah, it's me." "Hey! Sorry about waking you." Brian felt a little bad about waking Jim, "But do you know when Nick will be back?" "When he'll be back?" What was Brian talking about? "Yeah." "Well, I dunno. I guess it depends on what happens in New York?" Brian had woken him to ask something as this, Jim was getting a little annoyed. "No. He called me just a few minutes ago. He's coming back as soon as possible." said Brian. "What? Are you sure?" "Yes. He's coming and I wanna know when he gets here. Could you find out?" "I could try, I guess." Jim said and paused a moment, "But why didn't you just ask him yourself?" "I didn't think about it. And I wanna surprise him." Brian answered plainly. "Uh huh?" Jim never did get to understand Nick and Brian to a full extent. It seemed as if they were the only ones who really got it all. But he'd do as Brian told him, as he always did. "OK, I'll check into it and get back to you. Do you wanna know straight away or can it wait until morning? said Jim. "No, call me as soon as you know, 'K?" "'K, I'll see what I can do. Bye." "Bye." said Brian and hang up. Jim got up out of bed. So Nick was returning already. Jim looked at his watch, 'He couldn't have gotten much farther than to New York and then turned around almost at once?' Jim thought. That was strange, 'but with Nick you never really knew.' Jim got on the phone with Jive Records headquarter in Orlando. Most likely Nick had booked his flight through them. *** 'Yes!' Brian was so happy. "Damn!" he cried out in pain a second later. He had hit a suit-case lying on the drawer. The suit-case was sent flying through the air, its flight ending against the wall making a loud noise. Brian looked at the case with pain showing in his face. What was it doing lying on the desk in the first place? 'What was that!?'. Kevin sat up in bed, startled by the sudden noise. He looked at the watch, 2.30. 'What the hell's going on in Nick's room?' *** "Hey, Kevin. What are you doin' up?" Brian asked him when he answered the door. "What I'm doing up?" Kevin looked surprised, "Isn't it more a question of what you're doing up?" "Oh, did I wake you?" "You could say that... Do you mind if I come in?" "Yeah, sure. Sorry, come on in." Brian stepped aside and let Kevin in, and closed the door behind him. Kevin looked around in the hotel room. 'Sure enough, Brian had slept in this room.' he noted. Brian stood silently, looking at Kevin. "Why are you here?" Kevin asked. "Why I'm here? I sleep here." said Brian. "This isn't your room... And as far as I know, there's nothing wrong with your room?" 'Yes there is. Nick isn't there.' Brian thought. 'But then again, Nick wasn't really in here either. But it sure felt a lot better'. He tried to evade the question, "Well, I've slept here earlier, so I thought I might as well continue..." "That's not what I'm talking about and you know it. Goddammit Brian! What is goin' on?" Kevin wasn't going to back down this time. He demanded to know what was going on. Kevin continued, "You're not usually up at 2.30 in the morning? Why is Nick acting as he does? Why is Jim acting as he does?" There was a silence and then, with his concern showing through both in his eyes and voice, he continued. "...Why are you acting as you do?" Brian sighed and turned around, he sat down on the bed. "Is there something you wanna talk about?" Kevin said softly. *** The sun hit Nick directly in the face, waking him up. He moved his head away from the attacking sun, trying to escape it's beam. It felt as if he had just fallen asleep. Nick sat in his comfortable first class seat. The flight had made its way across the Atlantic and below him the Netherlands shone in the light of the sun. Munich was rapidly approaching. They'd be there soon. *** "I dunno know, Kevin." Once again Brian sighed. "I'm getting doubts whether I've made the right choices in my life. Have I done what I've believed to be 'the right thing to do' or have I followed my heart? I dunno if I'm truly happy?" Brian supported his head with his hands and looked down in to the floor. "Or is being truly happy something which does not exist?" "Well, I don't think anyone is happy all the time." Kevin answered. "We all have our ups and downs. Are you telling me that you're having doubts whether you were right to marry Leighanne?" Brian nodded in agreement. "I can tell you from my own experience, I myself have been thinking about the very same thing. If it was the right thing to marry Kristin." Kevin continued, "I'm feeling bad about leaving her at home, having to leave all though decisions to her. Not being able to be there for her, to support her, to show her my love." Brian looked at Kevin. It was exactly the problem Brian went through. With one tiny difference. He didn't feel bad about leaving Leighanne back home. And that was what tormented him. Instead he sat here missing Nick rather than missing Leighanne. And yet he loved Leighanne. That he was sure of. It just didn't add up. Brian was confused. "Well, that's not really what I was thinking about. I..." Brian spoke hesitantly. The relief was great when the phone interrupted him. He picked up the reciever. "Brian, is that you?" Jim asked from the other side of the line. "Yeah, it's me. Have you found out anything?" "Uh huh. Nick will get here early this morning, at 6 AM. Do you wanna be there to meet him?" Jim asked. But he already knew the answer. "Yes. Yes. Will you make sure everything is ready?" "Sure. Be ready tomorrow at six." Brian hang up the reciever and turned his eyes back on Kevin. "What's the matter with you?" Kevin asked as their gazes met. "Huh? What's wrong with me? "Nuffin. It's just that all of a sudden you've got a huge smile on your face. You're generally not that happy to see me, so I take it it had something to do with Nick?" Kevin joked. Brian could feel his cheeks blushing. He had no idea that he was smiling. If only Kevin had known how correct he was. *** The plane began to shake as it descended. The flight attendants rushed around in the cabin collecting various articles from the passengers, making sure everything was in order before landing. Nick was looking out through the window, not seeing much. The morning fog blanked out the distinctive ground. Nick got more and more anxious. He hated take-offs and landings, he hated the way the planes behaved while climbing and descending, he hated the feeling in his body when the earth was struggling to make the plane return to the ground. He hated flying, he thought when he closed his eyes and partially held his breath. The wind grabbed hold of the plane, pushing it sideways and upways - like a horrific rollercoaster. Then suddenly the morning fog dissolved and the ground was yet again visible, just a few feets below. The people onboard could feel the tires, with loud thumps and screeches, connecting to the runway. The engines were roaring, desperatley trying to make the 777 slow down before reaching the end of the runway. *** Nick would probably not have slept any during the flight, Brian thought. Nick wasn't very fond of flying. He smiled when he thought of all the times Nick had snuggled upon him during take-offs and landings. He lost his smile when the image reminded him of how scared and lonely Nick had seemed in the beginning. Especially when they had boarded their first flight. Brian remembered seeing how scared Nick had looked. And furthermore, he remembered how much Nick had cried that same night. Thinking of it all made it feel as if someone had jammed a knife in his heart and twisted it every time he thought of how Nick had been. He felt so guilty. Nick had been so young and alone. Brian had known this, yet he didn't offer to help. He had been sitting in his seat, watching the blond in his agony. As it turned out, Nick and Brian got to share a room that night. Brian thought back to that time. Nick sat on the bed with his back towards Brian. Brian, the person he'd been told to share this hotel room with. He didn't know much about Brian. They hadn't talked all that much, basically all Nick knew about Brian was that he's Kevin's cousin. As with the rest of the guys Brian barely acknowledge Nick. Nick was fine with this, since in his mind it meant that Brian chose to ignore him rather than making fun of him. Nick raised his head and scanned the room. It felt... cold. Different. Scary. Suddenly it felt as if someone had jammed a knife in his heart. It felt as if he was gonna throw up. Out of nowhere came a flash of home. Home. It felt so incredibly distant. A world away. Nick realized once again that he was all alone in a distant world with no one to turn to. He was on his own. The responsibilty was overwhelming. God, he felt like he was gonna burst into tears any moment now. Nick wanted to go home. He wanted to feel safe once again. Home, where no one could hurt him. His vision became blurry, quickly Nick turned his gaze down towards the floor. Desperately trying to will his tears not to show. Brian stood by the window. He watched the street life unfold beneath him. It was his first time in Europe. Soon they'd be on their way to Sweden to meet their new producers. It was his first time in Europe. Brian was excited. To finally be in Europe, the road to fame was lying there, waiting for him to take the first trembling steps. It fascinated Brian. He couldn't imagine his luck. A year ago he had never left Kentucky. Now he was in Germany. Flown there on the expense of others. Others that believed in him. Believed in him enough to pay for airline tickets, hotel room and food. Brian couldn't wait for it all to begin. As with Brian, this was Nick's first time in Europe. But in stark contrast to the rest of the group he failed to see the magic of Europe. In fact, it was his first time away from home alone. It was his first time flying. It was his first time sleeping in a room with someone he barely knew. It was the first time he had to be with people he didn't know and there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Everyone else around him, thought Nick, seemed so mature and certain of the world. Everyone but him. He missed his family. The thought of his family made his eyes swell up with tears. Nick couldn't stop them from coming. He felt so alone and vulnerable. He was screaming inside, he didn't want to be here. He wanted to be at home with his family and friends. Nick sat himself on the other side of the bed, away from Brian so that he couldn't see Nick crying. Nick had enough problems on his mind without having to deal with the guys tormenting him about crying. The phone rang and Brian turned away from the window. "I'll get it, 'K?" he asked Nick. He got a silent 'okay' as an answer. Brian picked up the reciever. It was AJ. "Yo! It's AJ. Me, Howie and Kevin thought we'd go check out some clubs. You wanna come?" He rushed his words. Obviously he had already began partying thought Brian. Brian hesitated his answer, thinking about Nick. He was too young to go to a club and he'd be all alone here if Brian went. But on the other hand, Nick didn't seem to mind being alone. He hadn't said all that many words on their trip over here. Brian was just to say yes when he noticed that Nick's shoulders was moving. Almost as if he was crying. A thousand thoughts crossed his mind. "Nah, I think I'll pass. I'll talk to you tomorrow, have fun." said Brian. "OK, suit yourself. We'll be leaving in twenty, if you change your mind." "Thanks, but I don't think so. Tell the others I said hi." Brian hang up the reciever. He looked at Nick. No doubt, the boy was crying. For a few seconds Brian doubted what to do. He then stepped up on the bed Nick was sitting on, and sat down behind Nick. Brian put his hands on Nick's shoulder. "How you doin', Nick?" He uttered. "Fine." Nick answered a few moments later. Brian turned Nick around and looked him in his face, saw his tears. "No, you're not." said Brian. Brian raised his hand and wiped away the tears from Nick's face. The teen looked at him with sorrow, and shame, in his eyes. Brian smiled weakheartedly at the sight. "What's wrong?" he asked softly. Nick looked Brian in his eyes. He sighed, "I dunno... It all feels so, ...so hopeless." his voice trailed off. After a few moments of silence Nick began talking again. "It's nothing you'd understand. It's just me." "Aw, Nick. It's not hopeless. There's a whole world out there waiting for you." Brian smiled and placed his arm around Nick's shoulders. "What's bothering you?" Nick turned slightly towards Brian and hugged him. The longer he held on, the tighter his grip became. Brian had opened the last flood gate. He was now beyond the point where he no longer cared of what others thought. Nick just seeked someone to share his burden with, someone to tell him that everything would be fine. Brian stroke Nick's back, while he whispered in his ear. "It'll all be ok, Nick. It'll all be ok..." Nick seperated himself from Brian and sat up, still having Brian's arms around him. He grimaced slightly and snuffled, turning his gaze back on Brian. Nick today still don't know why he said what he then did, "I feel so alone." Sitting in a hotel room somewhere in Germany, barely a teenager, thousands of miles away from home, Nick had opened his heart to an almost complete stranger. But that time Brian had been there for him and he have ever since. *** "Brian!" Nick throwed himself at Brian who stood waiting by the gate. Brian smile spanned a universe when he saw Nick. A couple of seconds later he was embraced by Nick. God, it felt so good to be close to Brian again, disappearing in to his arms. Just the thought of Brian being there made Nick hug even tighter. Jim was watching from a distance. He smiled at the sight before his eyes. Brian and Nick was in a tight embrace, their bodies melting together. In comforting each other they became one. Nick inhaled the scent of Brian. 'God, he smells so good.' It was soothing to Nick, comforting. Being around Brian made him feel relaxed, safe. Loved. Brian enjoyed the embrace too much. He felt so content having Nick in his arms. He sighed deeply, now everything was just perfect. ******** To be continued - Don't miss the upcoming final part of Revelations and Insights, part 7 - And the truth shall make you free, coming next. ______________________________________________________________________________ How do you feel about this story? Let me know; your views and opinions are important! Please remember to visit the 'Backstreets' website. Previews of future chapters, character infos, story recommendations and more available. Don't forget to join Forbidden Stories Revealed! http://www.yahoogroups.com/group/bsbslashstories _____________________________________________________________________________ Comments and feedback: writer_nike@yahoo.com (Please put Revelations and Insights, or R&I, in the subject line. Thank you.) Website: www.geocities.com/writer_nike ********