Date: Tue, 07 Mar 2000 19:26:47 EST
From: Lucas Thompson <rtstories@hotmail.com>
Subject: Because I Love You

Author's Note: Well here goes nothing.  This is my first story for all to
read.  I've been an avid reader of the Nifty archives since I found out
about it.which is about four years ago, I think.  About a year ago, for the
most part, I ditched all of the other categories and just read boy-band
entries.  Some of my favorite stories come from this section.  I can only
hope to be as good as some of the author's that I've read on here.
Hopefully you'll find my story interesting to say the least, and keep up
with it.  I think I have a good story to tell and hope you'll listen and
enjoy.  Once again, this is my first time posting something that I've
written.  All of your comments and criticisms are appreciated.  Please let
me know what you think of the story.  (I've always hated this plea from
authors asking, almost begging people to write them.but now I know how
important it is because you put time into writing something for others to
read and just want to know what they thought.  So, please let me know)
E-mail me at - rtstories@hotmail.com

Legal Disclaimer: This work is purely fiction.  It is purely derived from
the mind of the author and in no way dictates the sexual orientation of any
of the Back Street Boys.  Only in my mind do I really believe that they're
gay and in love with me.  Any similarities to real life or to someone's
life is purely coincidental.  It contains homosexual subject matter.  If
you're not into that, why not??? Gay porn/erotica is way hotter than
heterosexual porn!!!  Do not read any further if you are under the legal
age for viewing this material in your country, state, province, city, town,
suburb, or home.



Because I Love You
By: Lucas

Chapter 1

"You shouldn't have done that."
"I know"
"Then why did you do it?"
"Because I love you."

*************************************************************************

"Kevin, just shut up," Nick said as they entered the elevator of the hotel
they were staying in.

It had been a long day and a long concert.  The boys have been on tour for
nearly two months now and tensions were running high, to say the least.
Kevin was riding Nick, as usual, for messing up on some dance steps during
the concert.

"If you were just able to concentrate for more than a few minutes, maybe
you wouldn't mess up so much," said Kevin.

"Well maybe if you weren't so anal about things, my messing up wouldn't
bother you so much.  Besides, nobody noticed right guys?"

"Hey leave us out of this one," said Brian.

"Naw nobody noticed Nick, but it was kinda funny when you tripped over one
of the amps on stage," Howie added sarcastically.

All of the guys were laughing now remembering how Nick almost did a nose
dive off of the stage and into the lot of screaming fans.

"Yeah nice recovery Nick, maybe we could talk Fatima into incorporating
that move of yours into our dance routine permanently" said AJ jokingly.

"Very funny guys, it's not my fault I have a lot on my mind on top of
having to perform almost every night."

"Aw poor baby" all of the guys chimed in at once.

Nick just looked at them and pouted his lips as he usually does and
shrugged off the whole thing.

Just then the elevator doors opened onto the floor their rooms were on.
Each one of the BackStreet Boys took out their room key and proceeded to
their respective rooms.  Before they all entered, Kevin managed to reminded
them that they had to be up early tomorrow because they needed to catch a
plane to their next venue.  All of the boys grumbled at the reminder that
once again they couldn't get a full nights rest.

Nick opened the door to his room and entered the darkness.  He closed the
door and felt around for the light switch.  As he turned the light on, he
proceeded to step over all of the clothes and shoes he had strewn all over
the place.  Nick's philosophy was that he might as well keep his hotel
rooms just as messy as his room back home, just so he could at least
simulate being at home even though he wasn't.  God how he missed being in
his room.  At least this time I don't have to share a room with one of the
guys, Nick thought to himself, otherwise I'd have to keep the room in some
type of order.

Nick proceeded to take off his buttoned down shirt, followed by his pants.
There he stood in a T-shirt and boxers.  His tall, built frame filled out
what remained of the clothes he had on.  He walked over to the bathroom and
switched the lights on.  He then turned around to the shower and started to
run the water.  Once he got the water to the right temperature, he took off
his white Calvin Klein wife beater and revealed his beautifully white
muscled torso.  He looked at himself in the mirror and brushed his hand
through his long blonde hair.

Funny, he thought to himself, "I'm not that bad looking, yet I still end up
alone in these stupid hotel rooms.  I have nothing to look forward to
except my right hand at night.  I wonder how the other guys do it."

As the bathroom filled up with steam, Nick hooked his thumbs into the
waistband of his boxers and slowly removed them being careful as he passed
them over his growing hard-on.  Once he got them out of the way he lowered
his right hand to his growing erection and gave it a few strokes.
Satisfied, Nick stepped into the shower and proceeded with his shower.
Nick took the bar of soap that these hotels usually left for their guests
to use and started to rub it all over his body.  First he rubbed the soap
all over his arms and chest.  He then moved down to his legs and up the
backs of his thighs.  Using the soap to create some lather in his hands, he
began to soap up his growing hard-on.  Nick loved jerking off in the
shower.  He was always turned on by the water cascading over his entire
body while his right hand worked on his hard 7" cock.  First he started
slowly rubbing up and down his hard shaft.  As usual one of his favorite
fantasies ran through his head.  He imagined Brian kneeling in the shower
with him sucking on his cock, while he ran his fingers through Brian's wet
hair.  Nick got more and more into his fantasy.  He stroked harder, as his
knees began to buckle with pure ecstasy.  After a few minutes he felt that
all too familiar feeling he felt every night coming from his dick.  With a
few more strokes, Nick had his eyes closed while grunting and groaning.

"Oh god Brian.yes suck me harder.oh god I love you Brian!!!!"

With that, Nick's cum volleyed out of his rock hard cock.  He had to hold
onto the wall for support or else he would fall down.  He let the water run
over his body for a few more minutes, then shut the water off and stepped
onto the cold bathroom tile.  Satisfied, he dried himself off and wrapped
one of the hotel towels around his waist and proceeded to the bedroom.
Once inside, he shut off the light and passed out naked on the bed.

Rrrrring.Rrrrring

The telephone next to Nick rang loudly.  He reached over to pick it up.
After picking the phone up, he quickly slammed it back down onto the
receiver.  Nick was used to these early wake up calls, and knew the
routine.  He pulled the covers back over his head and went back to sleep.
A few minutes later the phone rang again.  Irritated that the phone
interrupted his sleep, Nick puts the phone up to his ear this time.

"Alright already.I heard you the first time.I'm getting up now" Nick
practically screamed into the phone.  "See I told you he'd still be asleep.
Pay up AJ" said Brian on the other line.  "What's going on? What's AJ doing
in your room Bri? And why does he have to pay up?"  "Wouldn't you like to
know Nick? Why are ya jealous?  Maybe AJ and I had wild passionate sex with
each other last night while you were all alone just jerking off in bed"
said Brian jokingly.  Little did he know that Nick preferred to Jerk-off in
the shower.  "What? Shut up Brian.you only wish.  Besides you know you're
not my type" Nick heard AJ say in the background.  "Just making sure you're
up Nicky.  AJ and I had a bet to see whether you'd be up after getting the
wake up call, and I just won 10 bucks thanks to your lazy ass."  "Very
funny Brian.  Who would have thought you'd bet against your own best
friend.  Thanks for the vote of confidence" Nick said pretending to be
hurt.  "Sorry Nick.But I just know you better than that."  "Well I guess."
Nick thought to himself "If only you did Frick, then I wouldn't be jerking
myself off to the thoughts of you sucking my dick."  "Nick, you still
there?"  said Brian after a long pause.  "Yeah, I'm here just got lost in
thought for a while."
	"Well don't exert yourself too early in the morning, we've got a
long day.  Now get up or you'll be late and after last night, you don't
need to give Kevin anymore reasons to rag on you."
	"Yeah alright, I'll meet you guys in the lobby in half an hour."

	With that, Nick hung up the telephone and got up to get ready.  He
thought of Brian the whole time and how he joked about having sex with AJ
last night.  Nick could never tell if Brian was serious about messing
around with another guy.  He'd always be joking when that subject came up.
That was why Nick could never tell Brian how he really felt.  He wasn't
sure how he'd take it.
  He didn't know if he'd just take it as a joke when Nick would be serious
about it.  This was a problem Nick wrestled with all the time.  For now
he'd just have to be satisfied with his daily wanks in the shower.

	5
	4
	3

Nick lifted his head as he watched the numbers light up in the elevator as
it passed by each floor.

	"God can't this thing go any faster.  Shit, if I'm late again Kev's
gonna kill me."

	2
	Lobby

	Nick rushed out of the elevator as the doors opened.  He scanned
around the lobby and found the guys standing at the front desk.  Kevin was
on the phone as Nick ran up to the others.

	"Nick if you're not down here in 2 minutes we're leaving your ass
here at the hotel." Kevin said into the courtesy phone.

	"What was that about my ass Kevin.  I know you have a crush on me
and all but do you have to be so vocal about it to the others.you know how
easily jealous Brian gets."  Nick said with a smirk.

	"God Nick I have to congratulate you."

	"What for?"

	"For winning the ass of the year award," Kevin said with a
snicker. He started to walk off towards the awaiting bus that would take
them to the airport, followed by the other Backstreet Boys.  Brian saw that
the last comment Kevin made got to Nick a little.  He turned to him and
said, "Don't worry about it Nick you know how Kevin gets when we start
running late."

	Nick just gave Brian a half-hearted smile and continued to follow
the others onto the bus.



	"Sir, you'll need to fasten your seatbelt" the stewardess asked
Nick kindly.  He was staring out of the airplane window as they got ready
to take off.

	"Oh, what was that?" Nick responded back.

	"Sir, your seatbelt." the stewardess smiled back at him.

	"Oh, Sorry about that I'll put it on" Nick answered politely.  Nick
found some solace in flying.  He loved to watch how the world seemed to
rush by through the circular window on the plane as it took off.  He
thought to himself that it was just like his life.  Everything would rush
by right in front of his eyes.  Nick continued to stare out of the small
peep-hole of the plane.  Nick closed his eyes as the plane began to speed
down the runway whisking them yet to another destination.  Nick gave up a
long time ago trying to figure out where they were off to next.  To him
everything meshed into one now.  Each city was the same as the last, and
the next hotel room would be the same as the same one he had just left.
Sometimes he yearned for the "good old days" when he and the guys would
travel around in a bus.  Granted it wasn't as comfortable as the plane, but
at least he'd be able to spend extended periods of time with the other
guys.  He loved talking to them and just fooling around.
	Nick opened his eyes and peered out the window next to him.  This
time all he saw were clouds.  He just sat there and stared.  Wishing that
these new found feelings he was having would subside.  He'd been having
them for a while now.  He attributed them to being on the road for so long
and having to do the same things over and over again.  But that was his
job, and he wouldn't give that up for the world.  He then thought to
himself that maybe it was just because he was growing up.  "Nineteen years
old," he thought to himself "I have everything going for me.  I'm with the
greatest bunch of guys in the world and have a dream job, but I can't help
but think that something is missing.  Maybe I'm just homesick.  No, that's
not it.  I've been homesick before.  Who am I kidding.  I give up."
Immersed in his thoughts, Nick didn't notice AJ sit down next to him.
Whenever Nick had these self-evaluation discussions he always seemed to end
up as confused if not more confused than when he began.
		AJ sat and stared at Nick for a while.  He knew that Nick
was in deep thought, and contemplated on whether or not he should disturb
him.  He decided against it, but filed it in the back of his mind that he'd
have to talk to him later to find out what he was so engrossed in thought
over.  He got up and started to walk back to his seat.
	Nick turned around, but saw no one there.  "Figures," he thought to
himself, "I'm still alone."  He wished so much that he had someone there he
could turn to other than the guys.  They were cool, but Nick needed more.
In despair, he just turned, closed his eyes, and fell asleep.

	AJ took his seat next to Brian.  Brian was listening to his Discman
but took it off as soon as he saw AJ sit down.

	"Where'd you go off to?"  Brian asked AJ.

	"I just got a little antsy and needed to walk around a bit."

	"Oh."

	The both of them sat there for a while thinking to themselves.

	"Brian"
	"AJ" Both of them said at the same time.

	"You go first" They both said in unison.

	"Go ahead AJ, you go first." Brian responded to their situation
figuring that they were thinking about the same thing.

	"Have you talked to Nick lately?"

	"I was just going to ask you the same thing."

	"I guess we're both thinking on the same level."

	"Well, I just went back there and saw him sitting by himself.  He
was looking out the window.  He seemed like he was in deep thought, like in
another world.  Usually he's all hyper and wanting to talk, but as I sat
down, he just continued to stare out into space.  I don't think he even
noticed me there."

	"Yeah I know what you mean.  I've noticed it most when we play
video games.
  He's even been
	distracted when we play N64.  He usually wins, but the past few
times he just zones out for a sec
	and loses concentration.  That's usually when I kick his ass.  I
just thought I was getting better at
	playing Nick, but I realized that it wasn't the case."

	"I wonder what's bothering him.  You think we should ask him?" AJ
asked unsure of what to do.

	"I don't know.  A part of me wants to go back there and just ask
him.  But then again, I think he's
	old enough to come to us for help if he needed.  This might just be
one of those things he needs to
	figure out on his own.  For now I guess he's fine.  Maybe we ought
to just keep an eye on him for
	now.  What do you think?"

	"I'm not sure.  I mean I know he's our bandmate and all, and that
we're practically brothers."AJ
	said losing his train of thought. "Anyway, yeah maybe you're right
we should just see what happens.
	We're always rushing to his side when we think something is wrong.
It's just the nature of things I guess.
	Maybe he just wants to be left alone.  But we should let him know
that if he ever needs to talk that we'll be
	there for him."

	"Cool.  That's what I was thinking.  I'm going back there to go
talk to him for a few."

	"Good Luck.  I'll see you later bro," A.J. said as Brian got up to
talk to Nick..

	Brian walked back to where Nick was sitting.  He saw that he was
asleep and didn't want to disturb him.  So he just sat down next to him to
wait for his best friend to wake up.  Thinking about what he wanted to say
to Nick, Brian dosed off.

	Nick woke up and felt something, or someone, leaning on his
shoulder.  He wondered who could it be, he only hoped it wasn't a fan.  It
wouldn't be the first time, he thought to himself.  That's how they met
Ewan.  But that was by pure luck.  As he turned to see who it was, he was
surprised to see that it was Brian.  Nick wondered to himself when did
Brian move next to him and decide to fall asleep.  He looked at the
sleeping Brian.  He marveled at the angelic face leaning on his shoulder.
He loved the sight of Brian's strong chiseled features, the smell of his
hair, and the faint but distinct smell of the cologne Brian used.  He
watched him sleep for a few minutes, mesmerized at the rhythmic rise and
fall of his chest as Brian took each breath.

	Lost in his thoughts, Nick knew deep down inside what was missing
from his life and what he wanted.  But he was confused.  Was he mixing
feelings of brotherly love for those of real love.  Nick knew he and Brian
were close.  Nick also knew how he felt.  His feelings became so strong and
frequent lately that he could no longer ignore them.  Everything that Brian
did drove him crazy.  Just seeing Brian laugh at a joke or do something
stupid set him off.  He got that feeling deep in the pit of his stomach,
and lost all track of who or what was going on around him.  All he could
see was Brian.  That was why he'd been so distracted lately.  The worst of
it was at their last concert.  Brian was the reason why Nick almost fell
into the audience.  During one of the songs, he caught sight of Brian as he
sang his solo verse.
  Once again everything closed off to Nick except Brian.  He felt his heart
sore and got a little light headed.  The next thing he knew he had tripped
over that amp.  Nick couldn't help but laugh at himself, now that he
thought back on it.

	As quickly as the smile escaped his lips, a somber look took over
his demeanor.  He remembered that he could not have Brian.  Nick had gone
over this a thousand times in his head.  He told himself, "It would never
work."  In his over analytical mind he convinced himself that Brian didn't
feel the same way he did.  Brian and he were brothers, that's all.
Besides, Brian isn't even gay.  That's what always got Nick.  No matter how
real his feelings for Brian were, his love for him would always be
unrequited.  Nick closed his eyes and leaned his head back onto the back of
his seat.  Nick knew this was one of those things he just couldn't have.
He told himself that he was just happy having Brian as a friend.  Once
again that smile crossed Nick's lips as he thought an evil thought to
himself.

	Feeling a little mischievous, Nick decided to give Brian a little
rude awakening.  Brian was still cuddled up on Nicks' shoulder.  Nick
unbuckled his seat belt and without warning stood straight up from his seat
causing Brian's head to fall abruptly.

	"Oh my God we're gonna die!!!!" Brian screamed out loud as he
violently awoke from his sleep.  Brian hated to fly and any sudden
movements from the plane caused him to hyperventilate.  He caught the
attention of a few of the people on the flight.

	Nick started to giggle from above Brian.  Once Brian realized that
nothing was wrong he calmed himself and sat back up in his seat.

	"Sorry Bri," Nick tried to apologize through his laughter, " but I
had to go to the bathroom really,
	really bad."

	Nick quickly moved to the back where the bathroom was located
before Brian could say a word.

	Nick had to wait awhile before he got into the lavatory of the
plane.  Once he got inside the cramped space he turned around to look at
himself in the mirror over the sink.  His hair was a little disheveled from
the nap he took earlier.  He turned on the faucet and cupped his hands
under the flowing water.  He leaned down and brought his hands to his face.
Afterwards he ran some water through his hair to straighten it out.  After
drying his face, he looked at himself again in the mirror.

	"I need to get a haircut." He thought to himself.

	Nick continued to look at himself in the mirror.  Once again he was
lost in his thoughts.  He searched in the mirror for something.  Not sure
what he was looking for, he stared at his face, trying to look beyond what
was being reflected back at him.  Not finding what he wanted, he sighed and
opened the door to let the next person in.

	Nick slowly walked back to his seat and sat down in a daze wishing
he could piece together the parts of his life and find happiness.no, he
would have been satisfied to just find contentment.  He forgot Brian was
still there until he spoke up.

	"Nick?" Brian questioned.
	"Huh?" Nick answered back.
	"Where were you just now?"
	"What do ya mean? I went to the bathroom"
	"I know you went to the bathroom.  I meant just now.  You came back
and you seemed like you
	were worlds away."
	"Oh, sorry." Nick responded, but never holding Brian's gaze.
Instead he fixed his view directly to
	the floor."
	"You don't have to apologize.  I was just wondering.nevermind.
Listen are you all right?"
	"Yeah I'm fine." Nick responded with a monotone voice.

	Brian knew Nick all to well and knew when his friend was lying.  He
also knew when not to push the subject any further.

	"Alright, I was just concerned."
	"Thanks"

	Silence fell between the two for a few minutes.  Not the silence
that happens in an uncomfortable moment but the silence that happens when
two people are deep in thought but not really wondering what to say next.
Brian was the first to speak up.

	"Nick?"
	"Yeah?"
	"You know if you want to talk I'm here for you right?"
	"Yeah" Nick spoke thanking god that Brian didn't push any further
but offered his help.
	"Cool.I guess I just wanted to let you know." Brian said with a
smile. "You know that the other
	guys are here for you too if you need right?"
	"Yeah I know." Nick replied.  "I guess that it's just one of those
things I need to figure out on my
	own."
	"Well just know that we're here for ya."  Brian said as he got up
to leave.  Nick watched as Brian got up, not sure whether or not he wanted
to continue the conversation.  Nick spoke up just as Brian was about to go
back down the aisle.

	"Hey Bri?"
	"Yeah Nick?"
	"Thanks." Nick said with a smile.
	"Anytime Bro, Anytime."  Brian turned from Nick and walked back to
his seat.

	Nick watched as Brian slowly disappeared down the aisle.  He liked
talking to Brian, but just wanted to be alone right now.  He looked out the
window at the clouds that seemed to inch by.  He pulled down the blind that
shut out the light from the outside and leaned back in his seat.  He closed
his eyes and sleep came over him once again.

*****************************************************************************************

	Before the guys knew it, the plane had touched down in New York.
The five of them proceeded to deplane and head down towards the gate.  As
they made their way through the gangway, they could see the small crowd
that had formed around the gate.  Being the last one's off of the plane
they walked down the roped off section that the security guards had set up
for them so that they wouldn't be mobbed, and stopped here and there to
sign some autographs.  Saying their good-bye's they headed towards their
awaiting limousines.

	"I don't know about you guys, but I never get tired of seeing our
fans." AJ said out loud as the limousine
	proceeded to pull away.

	"That's only because you like the attention A.J." Kevin responded.

	"I can't help it if they love me!" A.J. said followed by a large
grin.

	"Yeah, that's why most of the signs said `I love you Brian' or
`Marry me Nick' oh and of course `You're so
	sexy Kevin."

	"Oh, you wish Mr. Conceited"

	"Naw, It's true A.J. I signed that girl's poster who asked me to
marry her." Nick followed suit with a smile.

	"Geez you guys really know how to bust up a guys ego." A.J. said
with his pouty face and eyes.

	"You know, come to think of it, D had more signs out there than you
did."  Brian threw in.

	"Oh now you're really pushing it." A.J. said as he lightly elbowed
Howie who was sitting next to him.

	Howie turned to A.J., "Oh yeah, I gave those girls a kiss and an
autograph and then went on to the next
	group who had posters up with my name, and then to the next group,
and the next group.  You know them
	A.J. it was those girls with the big signs." Howie then glared at
Brian as if mentally passing on a message.
	Brian caught on and blurted out.

	"Oh yeah, those were the girls who covered up that one sign with
A.J's name on it right.Oh wait no, come
	to think of it that was the Driver who held up the only sign with
A.J's name on it, my bad."

	Everyone in the limo got a laugh out of that one.  After each one
of them got over their fits of laughter, they all quieted down and slowly
drifted into their own worlds as the inside of the limousine got quiet.
Soon enough, they guys were pulling into the rear entrance of their hotel.
They were escorted to their rooms by security and were met by Marc, the
Tour Manager, as soon as they got off of the elevator.  He gave each of
them their own room keys and gave them instructions as to when to meet and
what was scheduled for their stay in New York.

	".Alright that's about it guys.  Remember today is your free-day.
Use it wisely because I can't promise
	when the next one will be.  Remember keep your cell phone's on at
all times especially if you guys go out.
	It's probably safer if you bring security with you if you decide to
venture out."

	Marc finished what he was saying and walked down to his room which
was also set up for him as a temporary office.  Kevin was the first to
speak after he left.

	"All right kids, you heard the man.  Today's our day off.  Who's
doing what?"
	"Basketball!!" A.J., Howie and Brian said in Unison.
	"Basketball it is then.  Mind if I join you guys?"
	"Sure you could be on Howie's team cuz" Brian said.
	"Hey why do I get him?" Howie remarked.
	"Gee, thanks D, and I thought we were tight." Kevin said as A.J
interrupted.
	"Because I plan on winning, and we all know that Kev's getting slow
in his old age" A.J laughed trying to
	get Kevin back for his comments that set off the other guys in the
limo earlier.

As they were laughing, Kevin turned his attention towards Nick.

	"What about you Nicky??? Care to join us just in case
A.J. mysteriously gets injured on the court?"  Nick was giggling as he
watched the guys have their fun.
	"Naw, it's cool.  I need to catch up on some things and then maybe
I'll go out for some fresh air later."
	"Aw come on Frack, just come with us it'll be fun." Brian said as
he put his arm around Nick's shoulder.
	"You guys go ahead.  I'll catch up with all of you later."
	"Alright, just be careful if you do go out." Kevin said.
	"There you go getting all fatherly again Kev.  I think the guys are
right you are getting old.  Besides, I'm
	nineteen years old already"
	"That's what I'm afraid of."

	Nick just smiled at Kevin's comment and flipped him off.  Kevin
then lunged at Nick and put him in a headlock.  Kevin loved doing this to
Nick as he is the only one able to do so since Nick got his growth spurt.
The guys cheered on from the sides as the two went at it in the middle of
the hallway.

	"Alright you two, that will be enough." A.J. said taking his turn
at being the mature one.

	With that, the two separated.  They decided to meet in Brian's room
as soon as they were settled so that they could head to the basket ball
court in the hotel gym.  Everyone walked towards their rooms until everyone
had entered except A.J. and Brian whose rooms were across from each other
at the end of the hall.  As they were about to put their keycards in the
doors, A.J. looked down the hall to make sure that everyone had already
gone into their rooms, and then turned towards Brian.

	"Hey Bri?"
	"Yeah Bone"
	"Did you see how Nick was when he was messin around with Kev
before."
	"Yeah you noticed too?"
	"Yeah, he looked better at least.  I don't know about you, but
that's the first time I've seen him smile in some
	time."

	Brian just nodded thinking how he and A.J. both picked up on the
same thing.  He thought to himself why he never picked up on how Nick
changed.  After all, they were best friends, right?  I guess, when you're
that close sometimes you just don't pick up on the whole picture.

	"Did you get a chance to talk to Nick?"  A.J. said as he leaned up
against the door jamb.
	"Yeah.  I talked with him on the plane."  Brian responded breaking
out of his trance.
	"And."
	"And what?"
	"What did he say retard?"
	"Oh, he said that he was in love with you and that he was going to
ask you to marry him."
	"Shutup.You know you can be so stupid at times.  I'm serious here.
Is he all right?"
	"Yeah, for now at least.  I just told him that I just wanted to
make sure he knew we were all there for him and
	not to hesitate to talk to us."
	"That's good, at least the kid knows.  Did you find out what was
wrong?"
	"No he wouldn't say, and it looked like he didn't want to discuss
it.  He said that it was something that he
	needed to work out on his own."
	"Shit.  No one should bottle themselves up like that and try and
work things out on their own.  It just gets
	messy."
	"How do you know?"
	"Trust me.  I know" A.J. added thinking back, and then added "from
experience."
	"Oh." Brian responded not knowing what to say to A.J. because he
never knew "that" side of A.J. the
	serious, "experienced" one.  Sensing that this could lead to a more
serious conversation, and that they didn't have much time, A.J. just ended
the conversation he was having with Brian.

	"Don't worry about it Bri.  I'll tell you about it some time."

Brian looked over to A.J. trying to read what was it that made him turn
from his usual hyper, joking mood to a more serious one.  He was at a loss
for words.

	"Ok" was all Brian could think of saying.

A.J. looked at his watch trying to lighten the somber mood the two of them
had fallen into.

	"Speaking of time.It's almost time for us to whoop the other guys
asses.  I'm gonna get changed
	and I'll meet you in your room in a few."


	Brian nodded and they both entered their respective rooms.  Brian
walked towards his bed and began to unpack looking for something to wear
for their basketball game.  He found what he was going to wear but instead
of changing he sat down on the bed.  He thought about what A.J. had said
and began to chastise himself for not being able to say more to him.  A.J
hardly ever talked about his past.  Of course each one of them knew the
basics about the other but A.J. hardly ever got deep with any of them.
Brian thought to himself.

	"Jeez what kind of friend am I?  First I don't pick up right away
on what's going on with Nick and now I can hardly say anything to A.J. when
he opens up to me.  God, I am retarded.  I never know what to say.  Of
course I have no problem expressing to them how I feel when ever I have a
problem, but when they come to me I just end up saying things like `Oh' and
`Ok.'  None of them have problems giving out advice.  Hell, Kevin
practically dishes it out even when it's not wanted.  Maybe I'm just not
meant to give out advice.  Maybe I'm just not meant to talk.  Anyway."

	Shaking away his thoughts, Brian decided to just get dressed.  It
was no use thinking about these things now.  He'd just have to deal with
them later because the guys would be there soon.


	Down the hall, Nick closed the door to his room and put down his
bags next to the bed.  He grabbed the small leather briefcase that
contained his laptop, along with his earphones and CD case.  He walked
towards the table and set the briefcase on top and pulled out his laptop.
He plugged it into the outlet and connected the phone line from his
computer to the jack in the wall.  As he waited for the computer to boot
up, he flipped through the CD's in the case looking for one he was in the
mood for.  He picked out Radiohead's "OK Computer" and popped it into the
CD-Rom in his laptop.  He plugged in his earphones and was ready to roll.
The computer automatically started the CD and he heard the familiar beat of
"Airbag" come through his earphones, but he wanted something more melodic
and somber so he pushed forward to #10.  Soon he heard the sullen and
melodic song "No Surprises."  He put it on repeat and proceeded to sign on.
The familiar "You've got mail" interrupted the song and the mood it was
creating which reminded him to shut off the wave function on his computer.
	Nick proceeded to go through the mail that was in his mailbox and
saw the usual ones from his mom and siblings asking how he was.  He decided
to reply with the usual "I'm fine.thanks for asking" response he usually
gave them along with an update on what was going on.  After he was done, he
went on to read the next e-mail that he had.  Since this was his private
e-mail, which he only gave out to friends and family, there wasn't much,
but he smiled when he noticed that Ewan had replied to the last e-mail he
sent.

	To: Nicky <blondie948@aol.com>
	From: Ewan David McGovern <edm205@michu.edu>
	Subject: Re: Goats don't blow.You blow!!!

	Yo Nick,

		Very funny!!! That's the last time I update you on my life
as a frat boy here at school.  You're just
	jealous because you're not as cool as I am.  Don't deny that you're
not jealous that I get to wear my letters,
	party all the time and have the time of my life while all you get
to do is tour.  Don't deny it.I know how the
	BSB lives.remember???.I was there!!!  Speaking of boy band members
and barnyard animals.does Brian
	still snore like a horse??? Although I had a blast touring with you
guys.all I have to say is at least now I
	can get a good night's rest.  Don't forget to tell him I say Hi and
tell the rest of the Backdoor boys that I
	miss them.

		Moving on.what's up with your last e-mail???  Can you say
depressing???  What's the deal
	Nicky???  Am I gonna have to hunt you down and kick your ass???
What's up man???  Last time I saw
	you, you were fine.  Did somebody break your heart???  Are you
dying???  Details bro!!!

		I hate to cut it short but I gots to go.there's a party
tonight.  Cheer up dude.remember you're a
	perky boy band member.  Seriously, please tell me what's bothering
you.I hope you're OK!!!

									Ewwwweyyyy

	P.S. - I'm worried about you bro.See I even used the nick you gave
me to cheer you up!!!

Nick smiled after reading the e-mail.  He hit reply on the e-mail and
proceeded to write back.


	To: Ewan <edm205@michu.edu>
	From: Nick <blondie948@aol.com>
	Subject: Perky Boy Band Member

	Sup' Ewan,

		Dude.glad to hear you're living the high life at school.  I
hope you're staying away from the
	livestock as of late.  Hey has that rash cleared up??? :oP Oh, and
just to clear up the misunderstanding you
	seem to have bro, I am way cooler than you!!!  And you're the one
who's jealous of my boy band status.
	You know you wanted it when you were hangin' with us.

		I do wish that you were here though.  My life sucks.  Oh,
Thanks for you concern before.I didn't
	mean to seem so down in my last e-mail.  It's just.I don't know.  I
just haven't had any reason to smile
	lately.  Yeah I know what you're thinking.quit whining, but I can't
help it.  Brian seems to be concerned
	though cuz he came up to me on the plane to make sure I was OK.
But I can't talk to Brian about the shit I'm
	feeling right now.  Yeah I know it's weird cuz he's my Frick right?
You know what I mean.  We were just as
	much a trio when you were here, but I don't know.  Oh, and before I
forget.I'm not dying so don't get your
	hopes up!!! LOL

	Anyway, we're in New York now for some promotional stuff and some
concert dates.  You know
	how it is.  I won't forget to tell the guys that you say hi.  We
all miss you bro.  Let us know when you can
	come see us.  We'd love to see you again.  I've got to go.I'll talk
to you later.

							Nick

*************************************************************************

So what did y'all think???  I just wanted to say to all the skeptics out
there that this story is not just another story about Nick and Brian
hooking up.  Otherwise, I would have titiled the story "Nick and Brian."
There's more to it than that.and if you're an active reader, you'd have
picked up on some things in this chapter that hinted that.  Also, let me
know what you think of the third person POV.  I didn't realize until after
I wrote this first part that most of the stories are told in 1st Person
POV, and those are the stories I connected with the most.  I don't know
just a thought.  Hope to hear from you!!!