Date: Sun, 17 Oct 1999 18:20:44 PDT
From: Frederick Pettine <tornarius@hotmail.com>
Subject: Bradly's-new-beginning---01--02
Before I get to the boring part of the 'tag-line' I want to say a few
things.
I want to thank a few important people who helped me write this story and a
few other fun things. I'd like to Thank Lauren, author of "Lucky Me." For
helping me out with the story, and listening to me when I ramble. I'd like
to encourage DLS to keep up the good work with "Brian and Me." And I'd most
definately like to thank my mother. For without everything that she's done
in my life, I wouldn't be able to write the way I did. If it wasn't for
what she and my family put me through, I wouldn't have been able to write
this story with the feeling it's got now.
Also, I'd like to mention that this is only the introduction. The next part
is already done and proofread. I actually, wrote the next part before this
part. It was Lauren's idea to add this part as a 'prolauge(sp?)' type
thing.
Now, I'd like to say that this story does not imply anything about the
sexuality of any of the celebrities named herein. And as usual with these
types of stories..
If you are offended by any homosexual material, straight material, hell, or
any material contained herein, then you should leave. Immediately. If you
are offended by male/male relationships, bye. If you are under 18, you
shouldn't be here. If anyone actually knows any member of N'Sync of
BSB...e-mail me. ::evil grin:: If not, e-mail me anyway!
All e-mails will be appreciated. Any suggestions are welcome, flamers
ignored. Praises are most definately welcome. (Sorry, ego boost there)
Also, if you are confused about anything in the story, just send an e-mail,
IM, or ICQ message. I'll more than likely be on. Byee
E-mail: Tornarius@hotmail.com
AOL name: Tornarius
ICQ #: 13042113
"Bradly's New Beginning"
By
Frederick Anthony :)
Chapter One:
"Bradly!" I heard my mother call from the kitchen. Amazing! The call
of the mother could penetrate even MTV! "Get your ass down here. It's time
for dinner!" I sighed as I slowly descended the steps for the kitchen.
Entering the kitchen, I recognized my mother's butch frame. She was
short and squat but determined and headstrong. Her long blond hair flowed
carelessly around her wrinkled features. She was 45 and showed every year!
Her and I rarely got along. She had this illusion that I loved her,
and I had an illusion that she might care for me a little because I was her
son. But, we all have dreams. Ever since I was little, I always thought my
mother was some kind of alien that brainwashed me. But that was probably
because we were always fighting. When we weren't fighting, she was
consantly telling me that my friends sucked. Some mother!
I sat down at the table as she put a bowl of spaghetti in front of
me. I picked up a fork and started to eat. There were pieces of meat in the
bowl but I ate them anyway. She didn't believe that I was a vegetarian, and
if I didn't eat them it would only spark an arguement.
"So, how was work?" I asked in a lame attempt to start a friendly
conversation. She smiled weakly.
"It was fine." She stated simply. I sighed and pushed the bowl of
spaghetti away from me. "Aren't you going to finish?" She asked with a hint
of concern, but I knew it was only for show.
"Sorry, I ate a little too much in school. I'm also a little
tired. Good night, Mom." I said simply and started to walk up to my room.
"Fine. Don't eat. I work all day, make you dinner and you don't eat."
She said angrily. "I should've let your father beat you to death instead
of stopping him when I did." I turned around abruptly.
"I can't believe you brought that up. Do you have any idea WHY he beat
me like that? No? I thought so." I said tears forming in my eyes at the
memory. "Don't say things you don't know shit about, Mother."
"At least I didn't kill my own father." She said arrogantly and
simply. *snap* That was it. I couldn't take, I had to get out of there! I
snarled and walked up to my room. My sanctuary. I didn't bother shutting
my door, I just turned on the radio and collapsed on my bed. I was crying
uncontrollably by now. The memories of what happened when my father beat me
were alot for me to handle.
My father and I were always close. I loved him, and he was a good
man. He kept my mother in check and for that I thanked him. But one day, I
made the mistake of telling him I was gay. I was 13. We were sitting on
his bed one day when he decided to give me the 'sex talk.' I told him that
I already knew about it from school and that he didn't need to tell
me. With that news he smiled and patted my back. He was never a passionate
man, but never one to show alot of emotion unless it was serious. I looked
him in the eye and decided to tell him I was gay. He started to shout and
scream, telling me that I couldn't be gay...then he started to call me a
faggot. I couldn't take that pain and started to cry. That's when he
started to get physical. He beat me within an inch of my life before he
started to sweat really heavily and grunt in pain as he hit me. She walked
in and slapped his back with her hand as he beat me, calling me names and
such. He suddenly stopped and gripped his chest in pain. He was having a
heart attack. My mom freaked and started to tell me how it was my
fault. Months later, she started to say how it was all my fault.
I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the phone ring. After the
second ring, I picked it up.
"Hello?" I heard a voice say on the other end.
"Hello?" I replied, trying to mask the sorrow in my voice.
"Brad? That you?" My friend John said through the phone. I sighed.
"Yeah, it's me. What's up, John?" I said a little more happily. I was
glad, in a way, that is was John. He accepted my being gay, no one else in
my family did.
"Nothing much. Are you okay, dude?" He said concerned. If it wasn't
for him, I'd have ended my life a long time ago.
"Yah, I'm fine." I said sniffling and wiping the last of the tears
away.
"Did she.." He asked with threat in his voice.
"No, she didn't. But she did something even worse." I said. Unable to
hold the tears back any longer, I just let them loose. They flowed freely
and I sniffed loudly. I heard him whisper comforts through the phone. After
about 10 minutes, I calmed down enough to tell him about my mother and the
memories.
"Shh, that bitch touches you again and she'll answer to me." He said
growling. I smiled and laughed.
"John, I know you'd do everything in your power, and then some, if she
ever touched me again. But I don't want you getting hurt. Or
anything. You're my bro, man. You're my frick. I love ya to death. I don't
want anything to happen to you. After Justin and Chris.." I said softly and
started to sniff.
My memories drifted slowly toward the death of our friends. We were a
tight knit group that everyone called Frick and Frack. Justin and I were
best of friends, barely inseperable. John and Chris were the same
way...when the four of us met it just kinda clicked, yanno? We then became
known as Frick and Frack. Frick was Justin and I..and Frack was John and
Chris. A few months ago, Chris and Justin were driving home from work when
a drunk driver hit them. They died instantly and somehow, that gave me
some comfort. After that, John and I became even closer. With our status in
"Frick and Frack" we were named individually as Frick and Frack.
"I know," he whispered, bringing me back to attention. "I know. But
when she hits you..." I sniffled and rocked on the bed.
"I know." I said quietly.
"On a happier note, Josh got his ass kicked." I laughed softly. Josh
was this big dumb jock who I never liked. We always beat on each other. He
hated me, and I hated him.
"That's good. Oh my," I said as I heard my mother come up the stairs,
"I better go."
"Don't, just stick the phone under the bed. I want to hear this."
"Alright." I said and shoved the phone under my bed just as my mother
reached the last step.
"Look, Son." She said softly.
"What, Mom?" I said just as soft.
"I...wanted to say I'm sorry." I sighed.
"Yah. Okay."
"That's it?" She said annoyed.
"Well, what do you want me to say? You tell me that you would've been
happier if I was dead. What am I supposed to say?" Now I was getting angry.
"I don't know. 'I'm sorry mom, for doing what I did.' or 'I'm sorry
mom, for lying." Now I was beyond pissed.
"How about this?!" I said screaming, "I'm sorry mom, that you ever had
to give birth to me." I cried and pushed her out of the way. Without
thinking of where I was going, I fell down the stairs and started to run
for the front door. I pushed it out of my way and ran out into the
street. Without thinking on where I was going, I ran. I just kept running
until my legs couldn't move anymore. I collapsed on the sidewalk from
exaustion. I didn't know what time it was, where I was. And frankly, I
didn't care. I cried as I laid there on the ground and I cried as I was
picked up and thrown, literally thrown, into a car. I just kept crying as I
was transported home and thrown into my room. I didn't know what to and I
decided, right then, to kill myself.
After about an hour of quiet, I slowly crept out of my bed and walked
silently toward the bathroom. I turned on the bathroom radio and shut the
door. The radio played a few songs but finally they played "I do." That was
the catalyst that pushed me to the brink.
All while I was in there I had a smile on my face. I decided to give
myself the pleasure of killing myself, so my mother wouldn't have the
pleasure of doing it. She wouldn't be able to make my life miserable. I
felt so happy, I was going to be free.
I turned on the hot water in the bathtub so my mother wouldn't think
of anything. I quietly sat down on the toilet and smiled as I looked into
the mirror. I barely recognized the face that was staring back at me. My
hair was a mess, my eyes were all bloodshot and black rimmed. I smiled in
spite of myself.
I opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed a razor. Smiling like a
madman, I made the first cut. Pain slashed through my hand as I slit my
wrist vertically. Blood formed where the razor ran. I slit halfway to my
elbow when I finally grabbed the razor in the already cut hand. My eyes
started tearing up but I was still smiling. I was close to blacking out. I
tightened my grip on the razor as I started to make the slit in my other
wrist...
**********
"Bradly's New Beginning"
By
Frederick Anthony :)
Chapter two:
"I do...cherish you...from the depths of my soul, it's beyond my
control.." played through the radio as I finished the final slit. The blood
was flowing freely, as were the tears. I could barely see my face in the
mirror due to all of the steam coming from the hot water in the bathtub. I
felt numbness in my hands, I felt it slowly creep up through my arms, along
my chest, and through my body. Soon, I felt my legs fall out from under
me. I lay on the tile floor of the bathroom as my terrible world swirled
around me in a great maelsrom. Darkness slowly started from the corner of
my eyes and moved slowly but fluidly in my line of vision. The last thing I
heard before the void took me was the door creaking open and a loud scream.
"What the hell did you think you were doing?" My mother asked as she
walked into the hospital room.
"I was trying to kill myself. To save myself the rejection I was going
to get from you when you found out I was gay!" I screamed back at her. I
was weak, my voice was raspy and horrid. She looked at me with such shock
at first, then fear...I stared into her eyes, I could feel them burning
into my soul. I wondered when her human appearance would just melt away and
I would be faced with whom she really was. Her eyes went cold, she screamed
five words that slashed through my heart like an axe in driftwood.
"You are not my son!" She screamed as she pounced on me and tried to
take out the I.V. I felt the pain of her grabbing the I.V. and pulling it
out of my arm. All I could do was lay there, I was so weak. After she
pulled the needle out of my arm she started to punch me in the face. I
couldn't even defend myself, I felt so helpless. I've never felt so
helpless in my entire life. Soon, I heard the door open and three men, clad
in white jackets, grabbed her and tried pulling her off me. She grabbed my
shirt as they pulled her off of me and I went with her. The last thing I
remember was my head hitting something hard and darkness following me.
I opened my eyes some time later. I tried to sit up but I winced as I
felt a pain in my stomach and chest region. I decided to stay laying down.
"You shouldn't move." A voice said, it came from my right. My eyes
were still closed so I couldn't see who it was. I suspected it was a
doctor. I tried to sit up again and to open my eyes, but to no avail. I
felt a strong hand push me back down and then a deep chuckle. "I said, you
shouldn't move. I don't want you killing yourself you know. What would I
explain to the doctors?" I still didn't recognize the voice, and I still
couldn't open my eyes.
"My....eyes." I rasped. My voice came out dry and sandy. My mouth felt
as if it was on fire with a trace hint of copper. "Can't...see." Was all I
was able to get out before darkness swept over me, yet again.
I came to, I think, hours later. I had a little bit more energy was
able to open my eyes but only with extreme difficulty. I tried to sit up
again but pain flared through my chest and stomach region. I started to
gasp because the pain was so great. I laid back down with my eyes closed
and thought of the past few days? Hours? The last thing I remember was
getting the shit beat out of me by my mother. I sighed, which was a big
mistake, I tell you! The pain was terrible. I just laid there with my eyes
closed for I don't know how long. Finally, I heard the door to my room
open and someone step in.
"H...h...el....lo?" I tried to speak, but it was strained and
raspy. It hurt like hell, also. I heard the footsteps stop and then change
direction.
"Hello? Mr. Pat Tine? Are you awake?" A cheerful but concerned voice
said quietly to the room. I guessed it was the nurse. I groaned and tried
to say something. "What? I'm sorry, I can't understand you. You're in
pretty bad condition, Mr. Pat Tine. Would you like me to go get the
doctor?" I groaned again and sighed.
"Pe....t...tine." I said hoarsely. I opened my eyes and looked at the
woman. She was short, petite, and had wonderful blond hair.
"I'm sorry, sir?" She said in that high voice of hers. I smiled.
"Pettine." I said a little more strongly. "Hurts....to...talk."
"Pettine? Oh! I get it, that's how you pronounce your last name?" Her
eyes caught mine with a fierce intensity that I wouldn't be surprised if
she could see my soul. She smiled a wonderful smile and kissed my
forehead. "Well now, Mr. Pettine, I'll go get the doctor and let him know
you're awake. In the meantime, there's a cup of water on the table next to
your bed if you're thirsty. Mr. Privea will be here shortly. He was the
witness at what your mother did. He's been looking after you." She shook a
finger at me and scolded me playfully, "You should thank him. He took a few
punches for you. Got a nice bruiser to his right eye, also." I smiled.
"Thanks..."
"Nancy."
"T...t...thanks, Nancy." I whispered. She just barely heard me as she
started to head out the door. She stopped at the threshold, turned around
and smiled, "He's cute. But not your boyfriend? Shame. He's cute. If he's
straight, send him my way." I smiled and gave her an "OK" sign. She laughed
a heartfelt laugh and left.
After about 10 minutes of absolute silence, I figured the doctor had
more important patients to deal with so I decided to try and doze off. No
sooner had I started to doze did a guy in his earler 20s walk through the
door. He was dressed tastelessly. Brown khakis, brown dress shirt,
tie...it all matched pretty well. His sandy blond hair and blue eyes went
great with that outfit. He was definately straight. And too old for me. I
figured I'd send him over to that blond bitch. Nancy, I believe her name
was.
"Hi. Mr. Pettine?" He asked. I smiled weakly.
"You...be...Priv...ea?" I said as best I could. He nodded.
"Don't talk. Save your strength." He looked at me for a second, then
grinned. "Uhm, that sounded corny. What I mean was save your strength so
you could heal faster." I nodded and smiled a little wider. "You're
probably wondering what happened." I shook my head 'no' and he
shrugged. "Well, I'll have the doctor tell you then. Okay?" I nodded and
started to doze off.
"Sle...ep." I said as I fell into the void, yet again.
Hours later I awoke to a warm feeling on my forehead. I opened my eyes
slowly and I saw that Nancy was washing my face softly.
"You're awake." She said quietly, barely audibly. I smiled.
"Yes." I said smiling. It hurt to talk, but not as bad as earlier. And
I could talk a little louder too. She just smiled.
"I see you can talk now. Would you like to tell me exactly why your
mother was on you and beating the shit out of you?" She asked with a raised
eyebrow. I whimpered and tried to move my hand.
"My..hand?" I asked softly.
"I'm holding it." She said just as soft. I forced my finger to squeeze
her hand, I didn't know if I did or didn't, just that I tried to.
"Mother found out secret. She got angry. Was too weak to fight
back. Sorry I cost hospital money." I said frowning.
"You didn't cost the hospital anything. Your mother is paying for it
all. Whether she likes it or not. She can't refuse, you're under 18 so
she's got to pay for it." Nancy smiled and kissed my cheek. "I'll go get
the doctor. Stay awake?" I nodded. "Good." She left through the door and I
tried to sit up. I didn't know if I did or didn't, just that I could see a
little bit more, a little bit better. I glanced around the hospital room
and noted that it was sparse with furniture. There was a chair on the right
of the bed, a dresser type thing on the left. Straight ahead but up toward
the roof was a TV. Looking on the dresser, I tried to will my left hand to
pick it up, but I couldn't get my left hand to move. I looked down at my
body.
My hands were on the bed but they were being held to the bed by a
strap. My body seemed to be okay, but a little pale. This'll take awhile
for me to heal from, I thought as I looked at a wound upon my hand,
Aye. It'll take a long time. As I thought that, the doctor came in.
He was a middle-aged man of about 37. His black hair was greying a
little but he looked as if he kept in shape. He smiled when he saw me
sitting up in bed.
"You make a fast recovery." He said grinning. I smiled weakly.
"How...long...here?" I asked the question that's been plaguing me for
as long as I can remember being in the hospital. His grin fell.
"Two weeks." Two weeks? Did I hear him right? Two weeks? Oh my, how
much homework did I miss? Wait, it's Christmas break.
"The date?" I asked softly.
"January 2nd." I sighed, which proved to be very painful. January 2nd?
School starts the 12th, will I be fine by then?
"Must...be in school...the 12th." I said as best I could.
"You should be out of here by the 10th." That was the best news I've
gotten all day! Well, whatever it's been.
"Drink?" I asked softly. He reached for the cup on the table and put
it to my lips. I drank it all. "Thanks." I said, my voice taking on a
better strength. My throat wasn't as dry, and my body felt a little better
with something wet in it. "Now..not totally...dehydra..ted." I smiled. He
laughed a genuine rich laugh.
"Don't worry, we'd never let that happen. Well, we're gonna try you on
some jell-o. If you keep that down, then you'll be out of here before the
6th. Depends on how well you heal." I smile.
"I make a...fast recovery." I said louder than I should have. He
laughed and patted me on the back.
"Well, would you like to know everything that's wrong?" I shrugged as
best I could. "Well, you've got 2 broken ribs, and 3 cracked ribs. You're
throat was severely bruised, you had a mild concussion, you're nose was
almost broken...there's a hairline fracture in your arm. You lost alot of
blood, not only from the uhm," here he cleared his throat, "suicide
attempt. But also from when your mother tried to...kill you." He offered a
sad smile. "I'm sorry. But she's under arrest for attempted murder." I
smiled.
"She..deserves...what...she gets." He nodded.
"That she does, my friend. That she does." He smiled and patted my
back. "Well, I better get going. I hope you have a good time sleeping. The
drugs in that bag are enough to knock you out until next month." He offered
a laugh. "You're gonna spend alot of time sleeping, when you're not
sleeping, you'll be eating. So get some rest and when you wake, we'll have
Nancy bring in some jell-o, okay?" I smiled and nodded. "Good! See you in a
bit." With that he left. I leaned back against the baseboard thing, I
guess it's a headboard, and closed my eyes.
----------
I was falling down a dark void. There wasn't any light in sight. As I
fell, I heard voices. I couldn't make out what they were saying at first,
but after a few minutes I could understand them. They were all saying one
thing, "Freedom." But as I fell, they voices kept getting dimmer and
dimmer. When they were gone, the void around me disipated and I was
standing over a grave. I froze when I read what was on the gravestone...
R.I.P. Bradly Petro Born: March 29th 1951 Died: March 29th 1995
The dates looked familiar but the name was mine. Though, in 1999 I was
17. I wasn't born in 1951. I was born in 1982. As the landscape around me
deteriorated, I stared at the tombstone. My heart started to race, and
before I knew it, I woke up.
-----
I awoke in a cold sweat. Unknowing what the dream meant, I cried softy
in my bed. Before I knew it, I was asleep again.
I awoke a few hours later. Looking around, I looked for the nurses call
button. When I found it above my bed I pushed it a couple of times. Not
even three minutes later, Nurse Nancy walked into the room all smiling and
chipper with a tray of jello. I blinked at her a second.
"I had it already made. It was in the fridge over at the nurses'
station." I nodded, "I just had to grab it and bring it over when I heard
the button." I smiled and nodded some more. "Can you talk yet?" I thought a
moment.
"It..hurts. But..I'll be..fine..soon. Right?" I asked softly. She
nodded.
"You better! Or I'll..uhm, do something really bad?" She said
winking. I laughed softly. She had a lame sense of humor but her trying was
funny. She kissed my forehead and patted my chest. "You eat this jell-o. Or
I'll shove it down your throat." I smiled and looked at the tray. On it was
three small bowls of jell-o. One looked to be a disgusting mix of whipped
cream and strawberry jello, another was strawberry jello with oranges
inside, and another was grape with grapes inside. Talk about variety. I
picked up a fork with my right hand, I don't know when they were untied,
and scooped some jell-o onto my fork. My wrists were sore so I didn't move
them all that much. My throat thanked me for the cool jello. It tasted
wonderful as it went down my hot, parched throat. After I finished the
first two bowls I pushed the tray away.
"I had..enough." I said smiling at my almost normal voice. She smiled
too!
"I see. You ate alot for someone who went through what you did. You've
got some color back too. Soon, I'll have you back to normal and walking!" I
laughed again..a little louder than normal. "Promise me something?" She
asked sincerely. I raised an eyebrow.
"What?" I said cautiously.
"After we get you in tip-top shape. Promise me you and I'll go
dancing? So I can prove to you that we did a good job?" I laughed.
"A friendly thing. I promise." She smiled, kissed my forehead, and
took the trays out of here.
The next week we worked on me holding down solid food and walking. I
was healing pretty fast. My ribs hurt, but they would for the next few
weeks. Or so the doctor says. Mr. Privea never came back after I had that
dream. The hospital was good at keeping my moral up. I was commonly in a
goodmood and always joking. January 11th came around and it was time for
me to leave. I promised everyone I'd come back. There was one small problem
though: Who was going to pick me up? And where was I going?
************
I'd like to apologize for the summary near the end. I didn't want this to
start out too fast, nor too slow. And hospital scenes are so ... cliche.
Thanks again for reading!
Fred :)
Tornarius@hotmail.com