Date: Wed, 28 Feb 2007 10:43:45 +0000
From: J-dot M <catsfan1@hotmail.com>
Subject: Blond On Blond

Blonde On Blonde
Written by JM

** Disclaimer: Don't own `em, don't know `em, not factual.  No harm, no
foul.  Please be at least the age of 18. **


				Cats and dogs are coming down
				14th street is gonna drown
				Everyone else rushing round
				I've got blonde on blonde
				On my portable stereo
				It's a lullaby
				From a giant golden radio


	Fingers tapped nervously on a steering wheel.  Soft blue eyes stared at the
fingers drumming an unknown beat that sounded more like the march of a heart
rather than any tune he'd ever heard.  And that heart belonged to him.  It
beat loudly in his head, a sure sign of his nerves.

	He didn't have too many reasons to be nervous.  How long had it been?  He
knew.  Eight days, exactly.  Eight days of mutual calls, a little travel for
him, a lot of travel for the other.  Almost eight nights alone to consider
where his head and heart were headed.  He thought maybe he had stopped
trying to find direction after spending a few nights in a nice hotel suite
in Atlanta but that felt more like the beginning of his meandering process
rather than the middle.

	He was still dealing with the beginning of his journey.  He was still
fumbling through the parts where he had to communicate with his
soon-if-not-soon-enough-to-be ex-wife.  He only saw her once, briefly for a
visit with their son and for him to collect a few more of his things.  He
opted to let Baylee stay with her for a few days while he handled business
and did a few promotional appearances.  He let security pick his son up and
he made sure to make up for missed time when they arrived in Kentucky.

	He was thankful that his parents volunteered to keep Baylee while he
traveled to Los Angeles.  He wanted to bring Baylee, knew his son wanted to
join him, but the chaos of a failing marriage and trying to live up to some
of his musical obligations would make it more of a chore for Baylee rather
than him.  He spent most of his morning shopping for presents for his son.
Only seventy-two more hours and they'd be reunited again and he promised
that he'd stay with Baylee for a week, no interruptions.

	Sitting outside of a house in some neighborhood of LA that he didn't know
but could tell was highly favored by the rich added to his nerves.  His
house in LA was nice, maybe a little more suburban, but this was priceless.
Buried in the hills, a high gate in the front, it was physically attractive
and yet dominating at the same time.  He'd thought about getting out of the
car and walking to the door for ten minutes but he just couldn't.  Sure, the
directions he'd received were actually a lot easier than he expected and he
only had to call back for a quick correction on a turn once.  But it was
excitement that brought him to the house and fear that hampered him from
going anywhere near it.

	He didn't tell his parents about this.  He'd let Baylee talk to him before
he left from Kentucky.  He was pleased at the way his son got along so
smoothly with him.  It made some of the transition easier.  But really, he
didn't know what he was transitioning to.  Not a relationship.  It couldn't
be because he was still married to Leigh Anne and while the thought of
pursuing something exclusive sounded enticing, he hadn't even confessed to
himself that the reason he woke up each morning was because of another man.

	And their phone conversations never hinted much at a relationship.  An
occasional reminder of their mutual like for one another, sometimes a "baby"
or a "sweetheart" that he found himself saying once when he was incredibly
sleepy and feeling some kind of empty void in the pit of his heart.  But he
couldn't convince himself the next morning that he meant it.  But maybe he
did because the night before his arrival in LA, they talked for at least
three hours about everything from basketball to movies and it all felt so
natural.  It was a little high schoolish but still more than worth the lack
of sleep.

	A knock at the driver's side window shook him, yanked him from those
thoughts for a brief moment.  His head immediately snapped in the direction
of the noise, an almost familiar man peeking through the window.  He knew
that face, maybe from pictures or possibly from a previous meeting so far
behind him that he couldn't dare place a name with the face.  But he tried
as he lowered the window, an almost painful smile warping the other man's
face.

	"Yo, Brian, don't know if you remember me but I'm Justin's friend Trace,"
Trace said, lidded eyes and a crackling smile offered as he peeked into the
vehicle.

	Brian nodded immediately because he'd heard the name enough times during
the week from Justin.  He'd even heard Trace in the background a couple of
times, his banter with Justin sometimes distracting from a phone
conversation that Brian had been longing to have.  He respected Trace
because Justin did and eyeing the younger man from his seat, he could see
that somewhere between the furrowed brow, short cropped hair and unshaven
face, there was a man of meaning.

	"Hey Trace, didn't know you'd recognize me," Brian said, extending his hand
through the window for Trace.

	Trace took it, pulling a cigarette to his lips and taking a long drag.  He
turned his head to blow the smoke away, shaking Brian's hand in a kind
manner.  He lowered the cigarette when he turned back to Brian, grinning.
"Dude, it's not like you're out here in disguise.  Justin told me he was
waiting on you and I was about to head out to a few parties when I saw you."

	Brian raised his brow because the thought of Justin waiting on him did
intrigue him.  Was Justin anxious?  Did he get those large butterflies in
his stomach as well or was he a little impatient and waiting to see how much
further he could explore their physical relationship?  Brian did his best to
ditch the latter thoughts because Justin seemed so sincere.  So did Leigh
Anne at one point.

	"Oh, is he going with you?" Brian questioned, pulling his hand from
Trace's.

	Trace laughed lowly before taking another drag.  He puffed out the smoke,
eyes squinting at Brian.  "You're kidding right?  That kid has been waiting
to see you since he got in a few hours ago.  It's actually good to see him
taking a little time from his work to focus on something or somebody else."

	Brian knew he shouldn't have looked so stunned but he found it hard not to.
  He found it almost impossible to realize his mouth was hanging open and
his eyes weren't really blinking.  But then again, he was sure if he had
someone to brag to about Justin, he'd do the same.  He needed someone he
could trust like Justin.  Those people were few and far between.

	"And that fucker just goes on and on about your kid, man," Trace chuckled,
taking in a quick puff before exhaling deeply.  He let a cough rumble in his
chest before looking down at Brian again.  "Even showed me a picture in his
phone.  Cute kid, by the way."

	"Thanks," Brian replied, smiling politely because it was all he knew to do
while processing all of the information.  Justin really adored Baylee?
There was a genuineness about their situation, even through all of his
confusing angles and uncertain outcomes.

	Trace leaned into the car, cigarette dropping from his fingers while his
eyes held a serious view of Brian.  His brow was furrowed, eyes squinted,
and everything about his appearance was suddenly making Brian more than a
little uncomfortable with their conversation.

	"This is new for him... and me," Trace explained, voice low but not without
strings of gravity in it.  He tapped his thumbs along the door of the car,
words waiting on his tongue as he watched Brian.  "But I've known this kid
since he was old enough to shit on his own.  He's digging you, man.  So be
careful with him if you ain't feelin' him like he's feelin' you."

	The words were expected, if not a tad bit late in Brian's opinion.  But he
respected them because they weren't sent in a threatening way or some
offbeat banter that left him wondering whether Trace was serious or not.  He
nodded because he was too busy swallowing to form the right words to express
to Trace.  His head was still caught in that void of whether or not he was
truly ready to pursue another person, let alone a male.  But he couldn't
will away the fact that he wanted to be around Justin or hear his voice or
exist in the same world that someone like Justin did.

	"I should probably get running so I can make a few clubs tonight," Trace
suggested, leaning off the car with a mild grin.  He motioned his head
toward the house and Brian couldn't help but look, couldn't turn away.  The
lights were still on and he wondered in what state Justin would be when he
actually got the nerve to walk toward the door.

	"He's been waiting man," Trace added, walking away from the car and it
seemed like enough for Brian to at least remove the key from the ignition
and open the door of his car.



	Justin let his bare feet skid across the cold marble floor beneath him.  He
sat lazily on one of the couches in the living room of his house, eyes
focused on nothing and his vision occasionally catching glimpses of a flat
screen television.  He couldn't decipher the movie immediately because most
of Lorenzo's body blocked his view but he knew it was something with John
Travolta in it.

	He took a few glimpses toward his cell phone.  Nothing.  He had cleared his
missed calls from the label and Cameron and he thought maybe he saw Joey
calling him but didn't give it much attention because it wasn't who he was
waiting for.  He'd hoped that Brian wasn't lost or had run off the road.
Maybe he stopped for gas or to grab a bite to eat?  Justin offered dinner
and he could vaguely remember Brian turning it down because they'd both
rather spend the night in rather than fending off paparazzi.

	He tossed his SideKick back and forth between his hands.  He had tipped his
head back and wasn't surprised he could do it blindly.  He was satisfied his
mind wasn't too distracted to handle simple tasks.  But he was feeling an
itch under his wifebeater and his legs were shaking nervously beneath the
material of his gray slacks.  His eyes were idly watching the ceiling and he
thought about re-painting the ceiling a different color.  Cameron had
suggested the one he currently had and maybe that was the right step toward
not dealing with her anymore?  But then he'd have to deal with Brian and
these new feelings that caused this antsy nature that he wasn't quite used
to.  He was going to have to ask his mother about it sometime.

	He stopped tossing the SideKick when it did vibrate against his fingertips
and he quickly searched for a message only to find one that was from Chris.
He didn't even bother to read it.  He just dropped it next to his cell phone
and sighed lowly.  These feelings were a little too overwhelming.

	"Yo Timberlake, guess what I found growing in the bushes outside," D
announced as he pushed open the front door, his voice carrying loudly into
the living room.

	It startled Justin and his head slowly turned, peering eyes looking past
Lorenzo as D entered the living room.  He was curious but not for long as he
caught a pair of light blue eyes looking at him nervously, a familiar and
welcomed smile gracing thin pink lips.  He didn't forget to breathe when
both men fully entered the living room but he wasn't sure all of his limbs
were working because his arms were pushing against the couch to stand but
his legs weren't cooperating.

	"Since when did we start growing Littrells out there?" D joked, slinging an
arm around Brian, yanking the smaller man into a clearer view.

	"Good to see you B," Lorenzo remarked, taking moments away from his food
and movie to acknowledge Brian.  Brian nodded a reply, adding a smile for
insurance.

	"But it would've been nice if you had brought the kid so we could be
entertained," D acknowledged, hugging a little tighter around Brian's
shoulders.  His response was a small chuckle, a non-verbal response that
Brian felt was safe.

	Justin did manage to stand when Brian glanced at him again.  He bit down on
his lower lip and found it impossible to look at anything but Brian.  He was
there, close enough for Justin to speak to but too far to touch.  Justin had
thought of this moment all day, even on the plane.  He had several witty
comments, a couple of greetings he had tested out in the mirror a few hours
ago.  But there was just silence now.  Only words spoke through expressions
and Justin was relieved that Brian's were mainly of smiles and crinkly eyes.

	Brian scooted from under D's arm, easing toward the slow approaching
Justin.  He could sense Justin's nervousness and just seeing Justin added to
that already heightened fear that was trickling down his spine and making
his palms sweat.  He knew it was best to move toward Justin when D was
caught up in some random conversation with Lorenzo.  He had to ease Justin
into what they shared back in Atlanta.

	Brian stopped in front of Justin, trying to ignore the fact that D and
Lorenzo were still in the room.  He knew eventually he would have to adjust
to others seeing him around Justin, but he was still adjusting to himself
being around Justin.  He had to catch his initial instinct to reach up and
run a hand over Justin's chest or step up and try and kiss the younger man.
He could see the small rings under Justin's eyes, the way his face glowed
but still showed signs of weariness.

	"I guess it would be a little awkward to hug?" Justin finally questioned,
releasing his lower lip while keeping his blue eyes focused on Brian.  He
smiled only because Brian did.

	"No, hugging is good," Brian assured him, his inability to hold back his
anxiousness unnerving.  He watched the way Justin opened his arms to him and
he immediately leaned in, embracing the taller man without abandon.  He
rested his head against Justin's chest and breathed out,  "It's real good."

	Justin secured an arm around Brian's back, pulling him in tightly because
admitting aloud he missed the feel of Brian's smaller frame was still a
little unnatural.  But he didn't deny his heart.  Didn't deny his hand as it
combed through Brian's hair, felt the small curls at the end of each strand.
  He breathed in Brian's scent as Brian's fingers interlocked on the small
of his back.

	He let his eyes blink open, catch the way D and Lorenzo looked at him
sideways and only managed to grin back at them.  He wasn't letting go
because they already knew what was going on between he and Brian.  D was the
one who found them in bed that next morning, curled up together while Baylee
slept on the other half of the bed.  Justin, through fear, managed to kiss
Brian as they were exiting the suite, in plain view of Lorenzo.  He couldn't
be drawn away, not even when Brian pulled back a little with a mild smirk on
his lips.

	"You look tired," Brian noted, letting one of Justin's fingers circle his
left ear.  He shivered at the touch.

	"I'm cool," Justin replied, his timid smile full of the life his face had
not managed to fully express.  He watched the way Brian tilted his head into
his touch, letting his palm rest against Brian's chiseled cheek.

	"Are you sure?  It's not like we had any plans and I don't mind catching
some sleep with you," Brian insisted, chewing on his own lower lip.  He
didn't know when he started picking up on Justin's habits but didn't mind
when Justin giggled at him.  "I think I sleep better with you."

	Justin grinned.  A large portion of him believed Brian.  He wasn't afraid
to believe anything Brian said.  Whether they were ghost whispered words or
ones followed by an infectious laugh, everything about Brian felt real and
truthful.  And he believed Brian did sleep better with him because the two
nights Justin spent sleeping near Brian were the most peaceful ones he was
sure he felt in years.

	"The master bedroom is upstairs," Justin responded, voice soft as the pad
of his thumb ran over the tip of Brian's nose.  He liked that Brian's nose
was unique like his own, fitting his face in a way Justin wished his did.

	Brian eased back.  He removed his hands from Justin's back while holding a
diminutive grin on his lips.  He let his hands slide over Justin's hips
before grabbing one of Justin's hands, holding it freely because whether
Justin's security was watching or not, he wanted to be comfortable in his
own skin.  He intertwined Justin's fingers with his own and rolled his
shoulders, glancing back to see that D and Lorenzo were focused on the movie
rather than them.

	"Lead the way sir," Brian chimed, turning his head back to Justin, catching
the azure eyes glaring at him with wild curiosity.

	"You're staying the night... with me, right?" Justin asked, lidded eyes
watching patience morph over Brian's face.  He tapped his toes along the
marble floor, observing the way Brian tipped his head back and threw him a
grin that was reminiscent of Jim Carrey.

	"Alrighty then!"

	Justin was laughing before the full phrase left Brian's lips and Brian
couldn't help but join him.  He let Justin tug on his hand and he followed,
letting his laughter die down as he began to follow Justin through the foyer
toward the large staircase.  He lost his shoes somewhere on those steps,
stopping only when Justin stopped to call down to Lorenzo.

	"Hey, make sure you guys don't leave on the lights like you did last time.
I don't have any meetings in the morning so don't you dare wake me before
ten and tell Annie we'll reschedule about those appearances I have next
week," Justin bellowed, glancing back at Brian just to make sure he was
there.  He had to be because Justin was still holding his hand but he almost
felt like that was a hollow of some dream he had been having earlier.  He
forged past those thoughts long enough to continue his trek toward his
bedroom, Brian still quietly following.



	Just that right hint of quiet and slow flowing peace was what Justin
needed.  Lying on top of the covers might not have been his original idea
but it didn't matter much because Brian was right there, head laying firmly
on top of Justin's bare chest and he wasn't certain but he thought Brian
might've been listening to his heartbeat.  He was too busy twirling fingers
through Brian's soft blonde locks and smelling that hint of California air
and strawberry shampoo in Brian's hair.

	Justin liked the feeling of Brian's legs tangled with his.  They weren't
anywhere as hairy as Justin's but their texture still felt manly.  The
softness of Brian's back held more appeal, Justin's hand massaging down it
until he reached the back part of Brian's boxer-briefs.  He let his hand
occasionally rest on Brian's ass because it was covered and there wasn't
anything threatening about his touches.  He giggled quietly because Brian's
fingers were sweeping over his stomach in that delicate fashion that felt
almost too familiar but foreign at the same time.  He let Brian play with
the top of his boxers because he knew Brian wasn't going any further than
that.  The mood didn't call for it.

	"I do kinda wish the little guy was here," Justin remarked, exhaling lowly.
  He let a finger trace down Brian's sideburns until he reached his cheek.
He traced upward until Brian's eyelashes fluttered against the nail of his
index finger.

	"I'm sure he wishes he could be here to see you too," Brian whispered,
snuggling closer to Justin.

	It didn't feel so different now.  The warmth, the firmness of another man's
body was inviting.  It was engaging for Brian.  It offered some kind of
balance that he had been missing for too many years.  The way Justin's skin
smelt, burned against his shoulders.  He closed his eyes and reveled in the
way Justin kissed the top of his head and played with his hair, occasionally
massaging his scalp.  He didn't mind when Justin's large hand squeezed his
ass.  He thinks maybe he might've pushed back against the hand because he
couldn't deny that it did feel good.

	"I saw your video the other day on MTV," Brian noted, eyes reopening as
Justin danced his fingers up his spine.  He shivered against the larger
body.

	"Oh, Brian Littrell actually found that his cable actually has other
channels besides CNN and TBN?" Justin coyly remarked, laughing lowly.  He
jumped a little when Brian nipped at his nipple.

	"Uh, ESPN too smart ass.  Anyway, I liked it.  You looked... hot," Brian
gulped out, settling back onto Justin's chest.

	"Hot eh?" Justin inquired, trying to see Brian's expression.  He was
certain Brian was blushing but he knew not to prod.  Brian admitting to that
much was more than Justin expected.  He let his hand travel up until it
traced the muscles in Brian's arm.

	"Would suave have been a little more appropriate?" Brian wondered, debating
his own words.  He could tell Justin was in favor of his former word but he
knew he was still walking a thin line between what they were and what they
had become.  But Justin never responded and that was a little less
comforting.

	"Did I tell you that I missed you?" Justin questioned, his voice barely
above a whisper but he knew Brian heard it.  He hoped it made Brian smile.

	Brian tilted his head back until he could look into Justin's welcoming blue
eyes.  He grinned and crawled his way up Justin's body.  He stopped at
Justin's face, softly rubbing his nose to Justin's.  He felt Justin's
laughter against his lips and he merely smiled back at the younger man.

	"No, but I was going to tell you eventually," Brian replied, lips still so
close to Justin's.

	"Really?" Justin asked, eyes focused on Brian's.  He could taste Brian's
breath but that lingering feeling in his stomach wanted more.  His heart
continued to promise him more but his body's craving prevented him from
trusting all of his thoughts.

	"Uh huh," Brian replied shortly, nodding his head against Justin's.  He
listened to another giggle but his body bypassed all of his gilded thoughts.
  His lips caught Justin's before Justin could finish his laughter and he
was certain that laugh turned into a moan when his tongue slid past those
red lips.

	He meant for the kiss to be chaste but after so many days without those
lips he found it hard to prevent what was deemed inevitable.  And how could
he when Justin finally began to respond, returning the kiss without further
thought.  There was a hand behind his head, guiding the kiss, easing his
actions.  Fingers were playfully tugging at the ends of his hair and he was
sure that was Justin's tongue freely running against his own.  He could
taste that sweet flavor of mint against Justin's tongue and he knew Justin
had slipped away to the bathroom for a small amount of time while he got
undressed.

	Brian felt another moan against his lips and he slowed his kisses, letting
his lips gently ease back.  He left behind smaller kisses that felt like
rose petals against those ruddy, bruised lips.  He nipped at Justin's lower
lip as Justin's hand drifted from his head to his neck.  He could feel
Justin trying to continue the kissing but he regressed, mouthing a last peck
against Justin's lips.  He opened his eyes and watched Justin remain in that
moment, lips still parted and eyes still closed.  He smiled, wiping Justin's
lower lip with his thumb.

	Brian slid back down until his head was lying against Justin's shoulder.
He laughed to himself because he wanted more but denied it to himself.  He
wanted more of Justin, wanted to explore physical things they had yet to try
but it wasn't appropriate.  Not when he was still trying to adjust to just
being in Justin's arms.  He wanted it to be natural, almost form-fitting to
the point it suffocated him.  He wanted to know this was beyond what he
wanted.  It had to be like breath stretching against iron lungs.

	"God, I'm really glad I figured this out," Justin commented, head tipped
back as he looked at the ceiling.

	"Figured what out baby?" Brian questioned and he caught himself on his next
breath.  Did he say "baby" without thought?  It wasn't planned.  It just
drifted against his lips, somewhere being pushing out of his throat.

	Justin kissed Brian's temple, snuggling to the bed and Brian.  He locked
his arms around Brian and closed his eyes.  It wasn't burning against his
soul anymore.  Just little pieces finding their way together.  "I'm glad I
figured out that I wasn't going to look back after you kissed me in Atlanta.
  This is more than a little strange and we've been over this enough times
to both know we haven't gotten it all together but I like this."

	Brian wasn't sure he had made sense of all of Justin's words but he was
casually nodding before he thought to.  He understood the most important
parts.  He knew they were both far from understanding why the pursuit of
this seemed to push all of the negative out of their thought process.  Brian
wasn't crying and Justin wasn't brooding.  They were just living.

	"And I'm glad I figured out that I'm going to kick your ass tomorrow
morning for making me hard," Justin added, a petite laugh falling against
Brian's temple.

	Brian giggled quietly, maneuvering his leg until it brushed against
Justin's erection.  He heard Justin groan.  He shook his head, patting
Justin's stomach.  He was hiding his own half-hard cock as he closed his
eyes.  He sighed softly before replying, "I'm not going anywhere anytime
soon."

	"You better not B," Justin whispered, letting Brian cuddle to him one last
time before willing his thoughts away as he tried to capture sleep.



	Justin wasn't certain what had woke him in the morning.  It could've been
his SideKick, which D promptly brought into his bedroom sometime around six
because it wouldn't stop buzzing.  Justin didn't even bother to answer it
after the first few calls.  He did when his mother's name popped up but by
then he was already half awake and alone in his bed.

	He thought that maybe his stirring from his pleasant slumber had something
to do with Brian's absence from the bed.  He didn't feel when Brian
initially withdrew from the bed but that soft, warm glow that he was living
in during his sleep had disappeared and he managed to catch Brian as he was
stretching in the doorway of the bathroom.  He watched with one eye open as
Brian smiled at him and winked.  He wanted to offer up some form of greeting
but the sleep was still holding half of his brain and just the sight of the
rising sun washing across Brian's golden skin made it harder for him to
speak intelligent words.

	Justin was lying on his side, his head propped up by one hand while the
other traced over the empty space next to him.  He ran his hands over the
sheets, wondering if he could still feel Brian's presence there.  The warmth
had long died and images just seemed to be a fading memory.  Justin could
only remember waking once during the night, laying a gentle kiss on Brian's
forehead and watching him slumber for minutes before he was falling back to
sleep.

	Justin did shake from his thoughts when his SideKick began to vibrate
again.  He reluctantly reached behind himself and snatched it up.  He sighed
softly when he saw Lance's name lighting up on the screen.  He debated not
answering.  He thought about dropping the mobile device on the bed and
slinking out of the bed to watch Brian in the bathroom.  The door was
slightly ajar and he could hear Brian humming from inside, the light not
giving enough for Justin to see.  Maybe he should go grab some cereal
because he knew he still wasn't a morning person and didn't know if maybe
Brian needed privacy?

	"What's up LB?"

	"Justin, seriously, these little kindergarten nicknames have got to go,"
Lance fussed politely.

	Justin chuckled lowly, rolling onto his back and spreading his legs.  He
stared up at the ceiling while adjusting the phone to his ear.  "If you
called me to try and somehow raise my maturity level, you might as well fall
in line with the others."

	"I'm calling you because everyone else has been trying to contact you since
yesterday and you seem to be avoiding us.  Hell, I had to call your mother
just to find out you safely made it to LA," Lance stated, his voice firmer.

	"Sorry, didn't know I had to check in with you guys.  Damn, didn't we break
up awhile ago," Justin retorted, eyes drifting shut for a moment.  He
inhaled deeply, stretching slowly on the bed.

	"That we did Mr. Timberlake and we have an agreement to get together
whenever all of us are in LA together.  In fact, if you remember correctly,
we're all supposed to get together today since we compared schedules and you
bitched and moaned for two hours to Joey about it about a month and a half
ago," Lance admonished.

	Justin sat up quickly, rolling his neck.  The words were a reminder Justin
wished he had a week earlier.  Had he forgotten that he was supposed to have
lunch with his former bandmates?  It hadn't even crossed his mind, not when
he had Brian and that was all that he wanted to cross his mind.  He
scratched the back of his head and closed his eyes.

	"Fuck, that's today?"

	"Don't tell me you didn't remember?  That's why we've been calling your
sorry ass because we're supposed to hang at your place," Lance fussed, his
voice raising an octave.

	Justin rubbed his temple, eyes focusing on the bathroom.  He saw Brian
leaning against the doorway, a curious smile brimming his pink lips.  Justin
awkwardly smiled back.  He wanted to giggle when Brian gave him a petite
wave, one of those childlike waves that Justin was sure he saw Baylee do
once.

	"It just slipped my mind a little LB, don't worry about it.  Uh, what
time?" Justin wondered, watching Brian as he shyly walked toward the bed.
He wanted to call out to Brian when Brian sat at the foot of the bed but he
allowed it when Brian's hands nervously began to massage one of his ankles.

	"Stop calling me LB, please," Lance requested, his tone calming.  "Joey
will be there in twenty minutes, I should be there in like twenty-five, and
Chris went to go pick up Josh so God knows when they'll make it."

	Justin nodded, trying to process all of Lance's words while Brian's hands
drifted up his leg.  He glanced at Brian, observing the way Brian had
crawled further up the bed and was eyeing him with gentle blue eyes.  Justin
tilted his head and tried to will himself to get lost in those eyes.  He
settled for leaning forward until one of his hands could touch Brian's.  He
liked the way Brian gave a small snort, reaching a little higher so that
Justin's hand could rest firmly on his and his own could massage Justin's
lower thigh.

	"Okay, that's fine.  Sorry I didn't answer sooner," Justin said, his small
offer at an apology appeasing Lance.

	"Don't worry about it.  I was just hoping you were okay," Lance contended.

	"I couldn't be better, trust me," Justin grinned as Brian finally crawled
up to him, straddling Justin's thighs with a petite grin.  He reached up and
pet Brian's cheek.

	"That better not be some kind of code that you had your choice of some
skank last night Justin," Lance whined through the SideKick.

	Justin giggled quietly, letting Brian quietly nibble the nail of his index
finger in a playful manner.  "Far from it."

	"See you in a few then," Lance cheered.

	Justin merely dropped his SideKick on the bed, struggling between admiring
Brian and fearing the presence of his friends.  It was difficult revealing
his attraction to Brian, even more unsettling to tell Trace.  He had yet to
confess to his mother though he knew that she was suspicious.  Justin was a
little too jovial when speaking of Brian to her.  He had no intentions to
tell Cameron and the label wasn't exactly high on his list either.  But the
four men that were his best friends throughout a large portion of his
growing adulthood?  The ones he never missed talking to at least once a
week?

	"Do you have any plans today?" Justin asked, trying to ease into the
subject.

	"Yes," Brian chimed, flicking a finger against one of Justin's nipples.
"I'm spending the day with the only person I want to be around at this very
moment."

	Justin grinned, holding back a snicker as Brian's dimples flared.  He
reached out until his hands rested on Brian's waist.  "How comfortable are
you with... this?"

	Brian raised his brow, shooting Justin a curious glare.  He was trying to
piece together Justin's statement and the way Justin was drifting between
looking away and staring at him.  He pursed his lips before replying, "What
is `this'?"

	"You, me.. you and me," Justin replied shyly, drawing liberal designs
across Brian's chest with his fingers.  He gained enough confidence to
glance up watching the way Brian's face remained expressionless for a
moment.  Justin sucked in his lower lip.  "I mean us being together like
this."

	Brian let a grin tug at the corner of his lips.  He ran his hands over the
sides of Justin's neck, rocking gently on Justin's legs.  "I'm comfortable
enough to be sitting here in your lap thinking about kissing you and how
great it felt to sleep in the same bed with you again."

	"You want to kiss me?" Justin questioned.  He ducked Brian's attempt at a
playful slap and he hadn't let all of his thoughts settle before Brian was
smirking toward him.

	"So the point went completely over your head that I like `this' whatever it
is," Brian explained, tapping the end of Justin's nose.  He laughed at the
way Justin's tongue licked out to wet his lips as he processed all of
Brian's words.  Brian leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of Justin's
mouth, remaining still as Justin attempted to press a kiss to his lips.
"I'm just curious about how far `this' is going or already is between me and
you."

	Justin nodded, smiling as Brian leaned back.  He let his fingers tickle up
and down Brian's ribs.  He puckered his lips before adding, "Sounds like a
conversation we should probably have."

	"Yes but not before you tell me why you're asking in the first place,"
Brian countered, his voice losing some of its lighthearted flow.  He began
to roll his hips until he slipped from Justin's lap, finding an almost
comfortable place on the edge of the bed next to Justin.  He permitted
Justin to intertwine their fingers and he leaned in Justin's direction until
his face was centimeters from Justin's.

	"Personal space," Justin giggled out, reaching forward to nip Brian's
bottom lip.  He almost caught it but Brian's reflexes were quicker.

	"Answer the question," Brian requested, his voice a little lower.

	Justin sighed, nodding.  He looked at Brian with unfocused eyes, drifting
between musings about coming events and wanting to drag Brian down onto the
bed to catch a few more hours of sleep.  "The guys are coming over and I
want you to be here.  I want them to know about me and you if that's okay?"

	Brian didn't try to hide his miniature smile.  His eyes were lit up and he
knew Justin was finding favor in the way he was glaring at him.  There was
blush rising in Justin's cheeks and Brian couldn't help but lean forward to
kiss one of them.  He rubbed his nose against the barely-there hairs of
Justin's goatee.  His freedom with showing affection was surprising him but
he was accepting it before it could hamper him from enjoying Justin.

	"I'm comfortable as long as you are Ju.  It's weird to think about but why
not?" Brian giggled out, his breath bathing Justin's lips.

	"I like it when you call me Ju.  It makes me think about that one night
when you were half-sleep on the phone and you called me that right before we
hung up," Justin confessed, lips occasionally touching Brian's as he spoke.
He smiled when he stole a kiss, pecking Brian's chin when the older man
laughed at his action.

	"Don't go getting all mushy on me," Brian snickered out.  He leaned in
until his lips were against Justin's neck, his tongue licking feather-light
strokes against the smooth skin.  His lips kissed a few areas before his
teeth nipped at Justin's collarbone.  He listened to Justin mewl, felt the
muscles in Justin's throat constrict as he planted deeper kisses against his
skin.

	"We should get dressed.  They'll be here soon," Justin gasped out, his free
hand stroking the back of Brian's neck.  He played with the hairs on the
back of Brian's head, enjoying Brian's tongue and all of its ministrations.
He felt his breath regulate itself when Brian backed away, his tongue
licking at his lips like he had cotton candy left on them.  He was sure
Brian's lips probably did taste like cotton candy or something sweet that
Justin wanted to reach up and savor.  He restrained himself as Brian eased
off the bed, still smirking at him like a child winning a little league
game.  He offered a smile back, shaking his head while running a hand over
his buzzed hair.  There was some wicked promise in Brian's eyes that Justin
wanted to collect on.



	Justin knew Lance to be a man of his word.  He leaned on the island in his
kitchen, staring blankly at a cup of orange juice as he waited the arrival
of his friends.  He was sure they were at least ten minutes late and Justin
prayed LA traffic was the only thing that held them.  Then again, he was
thankful for the time to collect his thoughts and figure out the proper way
to inform his friends about Brian.  He didn't even know what to call Brian.
A potential?  His boyfriend?  Just a friend?

	It was enough time for Justin to grab a bowl of cereal, not enough to enjoy
it.  He was too lost in dribbling thoughts and replying to a few text
messages on his SideKick.  He thought about calling Chris to ask their
distance but he halted himself.

	Justin thought of running back upstairs to Brian, consulting him on what he
should call him.  He decided against it.  Brian seemed distracted enough
after his phone conversation with Baylee was interrupted by a phone call
from Nick Carter.  Justin slinked out of the room then because while he
enjoyed exchanging formalities with Baylee through Brian's cell phone, he
sensed that the conversation with Nick was more private.

	Justin tapped his fingers along the island, eyes peering into the hall.  He
wanted Brian to walk into the kitchen, needed to see that smile that always
seemed to catch him off guard.  The one that might settle his thoughts quick
than his own mind could.  He wanted to take the risk of running up the
stairs to sweep Brian into his arms and just stare into those crystal blue
eyes for a few minutes longer.  It threatened to take away all of his fears
and he liked the idea of that kind of sacrifice.

	"Yo, Timberlake, we've got incoming," D called out and if it wasn't for the
fact that Justin caught a tiny glimpse of Brian entering the kitchen just as
the words bounced off the walls, Justin would've dashed into the foray to
greet his guest.  But the sudden surprise in Brian's expression left Justin
with a need to prolong that walk.  He wanted to somehow provide the older
man standing inches from the island with a permissive exit from fear.

	"Your friends," Brian whispered but Justin was already moving toward Brian
and ignoring hollowing voices in his ears.

	Justin glided his glass of orange juice along the counter, eyes deftly
watching his destination.  He had intent embedded in blue eyes and he
fumbled with a small smile for Brian.  He stopped in front of him, tapping a
bare foot over Brian's sock-covered one.  One of his hands nervously lifted
and grazed along Brian's hip, finger lifting a small portion of the light
blue T-shirt Brian wore.  His pinky was able to press against soft skin for
a mere moment as Brian examined him.

	"This is okay," Justin assured Brian, stepping as close as possible without
completely overtaking Brian.  He tucked his chin and stared freely at Brian.
  He couldn't escape his own smile because his heart pounding was drowning
out the sound of any voices in the house.

	"I have something to tell you about..."

	Justin leaned down and quickly pressed a kiss to Brian's moving lips.
Those pink lips were silenced for a minute, never moving but tingling under
the ministrations of Justin's delicate ones.  Justin let a hand cup the back
of Brian's head and held it, cradled it even when his lips drew away and his
eyes blinked open to stare at Brian.

	"Drink some orange juice and follow me out there," Justin requested, calmly
stepping away from Brian.  He couldn't help but lift his hand and run it
quickly over Brian's cheek.  He caught the way Brian began to lean into the
touch and he was tempted to keep his hand there.

	"Yo, J, you've got visitors," Lorenzo remarked, stepping into the kitchen
to catch the two embracing.

	"But Justin," Brian began to call out as Justin eased further back, turning
toward Lorenzo.  He hooked a finger into one of Justin's belt loops.  He
didn't tug, just let his finger grasp onto the denim material as Justin
began to walk toward the living room.  He idly stumbled behind, wanting to
speak words that he knew he needed to before Justin became too comfortable
with his former bandmates.

	"I'm telling you had you two avoided the highway you could've been here
sooner."

	Justin felt the awkwardness of the moment when he entered the living room.
It was his own, self-indulgent awkwardness, but it was still existent.  It
only troubled him slightly that Brian was following close behind him,
fingers playing with the back of his jeans for awhile before fading away
once they were fully in the living room.  Justin was sure that Brian felt
the need to pull away once they caught view of his friends.

	Justin's blue eyes watched as Lance continued to fuss with Chris over
obvious delays in their arrival, Joey caught up in some benign conversation
with D while JC sat in the corner of one of the couches, legs drawn up as he
chatted on his cell phone.  Justin didn't bother to speak or breathe too
loudly because he wasn't completely prepared for the attention or the
obvious explanations he was going to have to offer up soon.  He just
watched.

	"Spare me the zen bullshit of back roads and LA traffic for a moment Lance
because we're here, you're queer, and that's all that matters," Chris
jested, slurping up a large amount of soda through a straw once his words
had cleared his mouth.

	Lance crossed his arms, anger rising over Chris' defiance.  He cocked his
head to the side and tapped his foot along the marble, a sure sign to Justin
that either a debate or a long-winded lecture was arising from his friend.
He still did not interfere because it was forbidden in his head.

	"Must my sexuality be the focal point of your obvious pale existence in
this world Kirkpatrick.  Can you not accept the fact that while you are
clearly nearing your expiration date and the geriatric hospitals are
unwilling to admit the walking dead so that maybe you can swallow your pride
and deal with the fact that I am right?" Lance asserted, his voice only
holding the slightest tinge of venom.

	"Dude, he just called you Kirkpatrick," Joey muttered, clamping his hands
on Chris' shoulder before giving them a squeeze.  He laughed into Chris' ear
before adding, "You should probably just apologize now to spare yourself the
verbal excommunication."

	"Fuck Susie Homemaker, I'm right," Chris blurted out and he could already
spot the symptoms of Lance's anger fizzling through his green eyes.

	"Uncalled for," Joey hummed, easing away from Chris with a grin.  He gave
Chris a playful slap on the back and shifted on his feet to peer past Lance
and Chris.  He spotted Justin, smiling for a moment before trying to peer
past Justin.  He could see another form but his mind was divided when he
heard D speak up.

	"Is this one of them lover's spats?" D questioned, stepping past Justin.

	"Gross D.  They're like brothers," JC remarked, straightening on the couch
while lowering his cell phone.  He held it against his chest, clearing his
throat.  "But seriously guys, I did not cancel a day at the spa to regroup
and here this kind of babble."

	"Are they always this hostile toward one another?" Brian asked, leaning up
to speak into Justin's ear.

	Justin knew it the second Lance's head turned.  He felt it the moment that
soft country accent reverberated through the room.  Somehow that quiet voice
that Justin had heard whisper into his phone so few times managed to carry
over JC's phone conversation, Joey and D's discussion, and Lance's heavy
breathing.  He was only faintly prepared.  There wasn't that sudden shiver
that crawls up the spine and leaves the body paralyzed.  He didn't bat his
eyes or turn away when Joey's stare became a little more open or when JC
managed to stand to his feet to peek past Justin's tall frame.  He inhaled
slowly when Lance cleared his throat, arms crossed against his chest with
that wondering expression that Justin hated almost immediately.

	"Is that a..." Chris' question was only followed by JC's quick giggle.

	"Backstreet Boy," JC sung lowly, slipping his phone into the pocket of his
slacks.  He stepped forward, dividing Chris and Lance.

	Justin tried his hardest to keep his head lifted.  He was usually overtly
cocky when around them.  He owned the room, owned the conversations, and he
was the resident level-headed one when the rest were drunk or beyond the
concept of maturity.  He massaged the back of his neck, eyes squinting
because he could feel the eyes shifting between he and Brian.  More eyes
were on Brian than him and he thought to look back to make sure Brian was
handling every moment of it.

	"Brian freakin' Littrell," Joey cheered, walking toward them and Justin
felt a natural instinct to protect Brian but Joey was overtly jovial and
maybe he needed that more than the scrutiny of the others.

	Brian let Joey drag him from behind Justin, an inelegant expression
becoming impossible to remove.  Thoughts of grabbing Justin's hand for some
sort of support crossed but wilted away.  He knew they didn't know.  Not
yet.  They were oblivious and he didn't mind that as much as he thought he
would.  He did find some small, fuzzy comfort when he felt a finger tugging
on a belt loop of his jeans.

	"Justin, what's a Backstreet Boy doing here?" Chris inquired, his head
tilted as he scrutinized Brian.

	"His name is Brian," Justin stated, a stiffness in his voice.

	"Justin, what's Brian doing here?" Lance questioned quickly, redirecting
his attention to Justin as Joey slide an arm around the steadfast Brian.

	"Oh, Just, are we having like some kind of integrated get together?  Like a
reunion of the boy band cartel?" JC questioned with a grin, leaning on Lance
without regard.

	Justin sighed, running his free hand over his buzzed hair.  He shook off
nerves, eased forward until he was standing behind Brian.  His breath
tickled the back of Brian's neck as he eased his other hand into the back of
Brian's jeans.  He massaged the small of Brian's back and settled his chin
on the back of Brian's head.  He took in a breath of strawberry and
California air.  He didn't tense when Joey caught a look at his subtle signs
of affection.  He caught the pale expression that hit Joey immediately and
hoped it was all the explaining he needed to do for that brief moment.  But
he knew it wasn't once Lance arched an eyebrow and JC leaned forward with
some intent, curious gleam wrestling through his eyes.

	"Shut up," JC gaffed, throwing a hand over Chris' mouth before he could say
anything.

	"I think I'm going to shit on myself," Joey remarked, easing away from
Brian and Justin with a confused expression.  He ignored words mumbled from
Chris behind JC's hand.

	"Welcome to the club," Lance hummed, his face still showing a dismissive
expression toward Brian.

	Brian exhaled lowly, his head dropping.  He looked down, glared at Justin's
bare feet on either side of his own.  He unintentionally backed into
Justin's arms, letting the younger man ease an arm around him until it
rested on his belly.  He licked his lips and looked up, trying to find
anything in the room to concentrate on rather than the faces of Justin's
friends.  It was easier staring at Trace but he wasn't there to lighten the
situation.

	JC lowered his hand and leaned off of Lance, nodding toward Brian.

	"You're fucking a Backstreet Boy?" Chris blurted out and he didn't have
time to correct himself before JC clamped a hand back over his mouth.

	"Did I say we were fucking?" Justin hissed, his voice tense.  He felt Brian
grab his wrist and he didn't know if it was a sign of comfort or a way of
informing him that Brian was less than comfortable?

	"Wrong choice of words Just.  You know how he has this uncontrollable word
vomit problem.  We're trying to get a professional diagnosis," JC gushed,
fighting with Chris to keep his hand over Chris' mouth.

	"Okay, so now I'm on Punk`d?  That's it, right?  Because last I checked,
good ol' JT was fornicating Cameron Diaz and I am so now in any condition to
be on MTV," Joey babbled, glancing around the room with disbelief.

	"Ashton's retired," Lance warned Joey, turning away from Justin.

	"New host?" Joey inquired but he already knew the answer to his own
question.

	"So you're dating a guy?" Chris asked, prying himself from JC's grip and
dashing away until he was hiding behind Joey.  He stood on his tip-toes and
peered at Justin over Joey's shoulder.

	"I brought food," JC noted, hoping to ease some of the tension.  "Food is
good."

	"We are," Justin struggled with his own words, pulling his arm from around
Brian.  "We're..."

	Brian took a step forward, thrown slightly off balance because Justin still
had a hand on his jeans.  He cleared his throat and scratched the back of
his head until Justin relinquished his grip.  "Yes, we're dating.  Justin
and I are seeing each other.  Nothing officially permanent but he likes me
and I really like him.  I enjoy his company and would be more than grateful
if that company did transpire into something permanent."

	Justin leaned back on his heels.  He lifted his brow and scratched the top
of his head.  This was the Brian he held through tears?  This was the one
that was tentative about even kissing Justin?  The one that had suddenly
become so assertive and declared things that Justin only thought about in
the shower or when he was texting Brian at night in his hotel room.  He was
the Brian that Justin wanted to scoop up, carry up to his bedroom, and lay
on top of until the California heat left him no choice but to roll away and
carry Brian to a colder place of the house.

	"Aren't you married?" Chris inquired, easing from behind Joey without fear
of JC.  His peripheral caught JC curled into the corner of the couch again,
nervously playing with his phone.

	"You know Chinese food isn't so great cold," JC remarked, gazing toward
Justin.

	"Long story," Brian replied, turning his head toward Chris.

	"Good ending?" Chris chimed out his question.  He meandered to the couch JC
sat on, resting on the edge of the couch near JC.

	"I hope so," Brian whispered, turning a little to glance at Justin.  He
caught the crooked grin Justin gave him and it was encouraging.

	"You should be ignoring him," JC warned with a grin.  He dodged Chris'
attempt to slap him and mocked him with a grin.

	Joey sighed, taking up residence in one of the plush chairs while Lance
remained standing, eyeing both Brian and Justin.  He kicked off his shoes
and propped one leg on one of the arms.  He drug his fingers through his
brown hair and tilted his head back for comfort.

	"Joe, you knew that Cameron thing had been over for awhile," Justin
commented, stepping forward and grabbing Brian's hand.  He could feel the
sting of Lance's stare but let it pass as he led Brian toward the empty
couch near the television.  He found a corner of the couch and pulled Brian
down until he sat between his open legs.  He knew bluntness was the only way
any of his friends understood things.  Subtlety had never been an eye-opener
for any of them.

	"Yeah, but I thought you were at least still boinking the broad," Joey
huffed, throwing a hand over his eyes.

	"And you've got a kid right?" Chris questioned, leaning forward to stare at
Brian.  He removed his puzzled expression when Brian nodded a response.

	"He's a great little guy.  His name is Baylee," Justin cooed, his arms
encircling Brian's smaller frame.

	Chris nodded, fishing out two cartons of Chinese food from a bag near JC's
feet.  He eased back on the couch while studying Brian.  He watched the way
Justin's larger hands held one of Brian's hands.  He wasn't fazed and he
attributed it to the month he hung out with Lance and his diverse circle of
friends.

	"So Justin, the metro hetero of us is into guys," Lance pondered, finding a
seat on a wooden table in the middle of the room.

	"Correction: I'm into a guy," Justin teased, resting his chin on Brian's
shoulder.  He listened to Brian giggle and felt the softness of Brian's
cheek brush against his own barely shaven face.

	"How random is that?" Lance wondered, finally letting a grin slip over his
lips.

	"Okay Lance, no Laguna Beach references," JC fussed, stretching so that one
of his legs rested across Chris' lap.

	"Don't get too comfortable Lazy Sue," Chris warned, stuffing a fork-full of
rice into his mouth.

	"This thing with you and Sue's?" JC pondered, arching an eyebrow toward
Chris.  He gave Chris a light shove as Chris simulated idle deliberation.

	"Guys it's not that different when Lance did his whole coming out then,"
Justin remarked.  His fingers drew invisible lines up Brian's arm, his
nervous tension getting the best of him.

	"Oh, it's quite different.  You're not coming out and I did that
individually with much preparation," Lance admonished, crossing his legs as
he leaned back on the table.  "There's an art to these things."

	"I actually like Justin's approach much better.  Just rip the band-aid off
rather than drag it out," Joey noted, removing his hand to look at Brian
nestled in Justin's arms.  He offered a diminutive smirk.

	"Uh, now we're quoting Grey's Anatomy?" JC inquired while scooping up some
food from a carton.

	Justin pulled his arm from around Brian and sighed heavily.  He let Brian
rub a hand over his thigh while he pinched the bridge of his nose.  He
hadn't given himself enough time to deal with the difficulty of telling the
men he thought of as brothers.  He had preparation time, planned words when
he told Trace.  He thought maybe he'd have weeks, enough time for him to
define what he had with Brian before he'd have to tell any of his former
bandmates.

	"Seriously, C, shut up," Joey grumbled before turning his attention back to
Brian.  "Our kids should hang out sometime.  I'm sure my little girl Brianna
is older than your son but they'd probably get along great.  I guess they
call that a play date?"

	Brian nodded toward Joey, grinning freely.  "That'd be nice.  Next time I'm
out in LA we could get them together."

	"See, he's already cooler than Reichen," Chris boasted, propping his feet
up on the table Lance occupied.  Lance quickly swatted them back with a
furrowed brow.

	"Don't go there," Lance warned, a finger pointing toward Chris with
discouragement glazing his squinted green eyes.

	"Reichen?" Brian asked in a low voice, half-turning his head toward Justin.

	Justin leaned forward with a smile, captivated by the innocence in those
blue eyes.  He puckered his lips before responding, "Lance's boyfriend."

	"Ex," Lance bellowed, drawing Brian's attention back to him.  Brian nodded
while twisting his lips and raising his brow.  He took in a deep breath and
feigned an applause toward Lance.

	"Cooler," JC concurred, ignoring Lance's wrath.  He lifted his fork and
directed it toward Brian with one eye closed as if he were concentrating.
"But he's a Backstreet Boy."

	Brian shrugged, easing forward on the couch cushion, remaining firmly
seated between Justin's legs.  He rested his palms on Justin's legs and it
was becoming oddly comfortable for him to freely touch Justin as if he
belonged to him.  But he didn't.  Not officially.  Just a portion of him
that Brian enjoyed more than he should and he knew that.

	"I don't see the downfall in that," Brian rebuffed kindly, soft blue eyes
glancing around the room.

	"Yeah, you wouldn't.  You're too aloof," JC huffed out, waving his hand in
the air in some uncalled for fashion.

	"Again, the definition of `shut up' seems so obvious C," Joey hissed,
erecting himself in his chair.  He turned toward Brian.  "Do your guys
know?"

	"No," Brian replied flatly and there seemed to be other words wanting to
accompany that one but he halted.  He let them cut his throat in thin slices
as he tried to swallow them back down.  He shivered at the feel of Justin's
fingers toying with the ends of his hairs.

	"Dude, does your mom know?" Chris inquired with wild eyes.

	Justin shrunk a little.  He glanced away, still feathering his fingers
through Brian's hair.  Avoiding the question was an option, though one not
detailed enough for him to find another subject to talk about.  He sighed
and felt the world move underneath his feet for a moment.  It was imaginary
but good enough.

	"Not yet," he muttered, licking his lips.

	"Yes!" Chris exclaimed, clapping gleefully and he only settled when Brian
glared at him with rabid curiosity.  "We're higher on the food chain then
his momma.  Does anyone not see the brilliance in that?"

	Lance laughed before replying, "Nothing associated with you is brilliant."

	Joey threw a pillow at Chris before he could reply, snorting as he fiddle
with the top of one of the cartons of Chinese food.  Justin watched him
idly, unsure when Joey had maneuvered to get food.  He let the thought rise
and fall, reassured when Brian nudged him with an elbow, snickering at the
way Lance and Chris bantered.  He released a small snicker and settled into
some kind of bliss when they smiled at each other.



	Brian stood in the kitchen, elbows leaning on the island of the kitchen
while eyes watched Joey swirl a glass of orange juice and vodka in one hand
while the other carelessly poured rum into another glass.  They had escaped
the living room and Joey rummaged through many of Justin's cabinets to find
the right stash of expensive liquor that he said Justin hated to share with
them.

	Joey had offered to mix Brian a drink but Brian's tolerance for alcohol
wasn't anywhere near its previous heights.  He wanted to blame it on those
swooping butterflies that he was sure Justin caused because every time he
glanced behind him he could catch Justin peeking at him while idly talking
with Lance in the hallway.

	"He likes you... a lot," Joey confessed lowly, finished pouring.

	Brian arched an eyebrow and then grinned.  The concept toyed with the beat
of his heart.  "How can you tell?"

	Joey laughed, shaking his head at Brian while placing the bottle of rum on
the counter.  He opened the fridge and pulled out several more bottles and a
carton of juice.  He turned back to Brian and replied, "He would've
cancelled on us if he didn't.  He can't afford for his brothers to be
judgmental of someone he's unsure of.  It fucks with his mental game and
surprisingly, Justin Timberlake is good at losing his confidence."

	"Oh," was all Brian could reply.  He glared at the glass of rum and
memories flooded him.  Justin had to be confident that night they sat around
drinking.  He had to be to be such a friend in Brian's time of need.

	"C is big on mixing all kinds of shit into one drink that making it all
fruity and dull," Joey insisted, throwing dashes of juice and soda into the
glass with the rum.  He fumbled with ice cubes before dropping them into the
glass.

	Brian nodded, his tongue peeking out to lick dry lips and concentrate on
the way Joey mixed the drink.  He tapped his fingers against the marble top
of the island.  He was opening himself, permitting his nervousness to draw
away because these were people Justin trusted and he trusted Justin.  He
trusted Justin with almost everything.

	"It's kind of..."

	"Gay," Joey replied, finishing Brian's sentence with a grin.  He nodded
while swirling the contents of the glass around.  "We know.  We keep telling
him that."

	"Not gay, just slightly superficial," JC retorted with a grand smile.  He
snatched up the glass from Joey's hand and nudged him with his elbow.  He
turned to Brian and pointed a cigarette toward him with a smirk.  No words
had to be said because Brian immediately playfully lifted his hands in a
surrendering fashion.

	"Please look up the definition," Joey insisted, taking a gulp of his own
drink.  He sighed hard and lowered the glass to smile at Brian.

	JC took a few sips of his drink and rolled his eyes.  He placed the
cigarette to his lips.  "I'm not gay Joe.  Call me controversial."

	Joey released a chuckle before taking another healthy gulp of his drink.
He tapped the glass against JC's temple while laughing, avoiding JC's feeble
attempts to swat him away.

	"Patio C," Justin called into the kitchen, his voice reaching over their
laughter.

	"Fucker," JC groaned, stepping away from the island and moving through the
kitchen.  He stopped by Brian, giving Justin a detached glare.  He tried to
mock him but Justin wasn't too far into his discussion with Lance to turn
and stare back at JC.  JC giggled while taking another sip of his drink.

	"If I don't let Trace smoke in the house, I'll be damned if I let you,"
Justin declared, folding his arms over his chest.

	"Aren't you supposed to have something resembling a singing career?" Joey
wondered while gulping down the last of his drink.

	"Hello, good ol' Justin did it," JC gloated, cocking his head toward Brian
with a grin.  He was sure he wasn't supposed to take uncalled for jabs at
Justin in front of Brian but the alcohol was quick and he wasn't one to back
down from Justin.

	"Marijuana is different gay boy," Chris chimed, sliding into the kitchen.
He skid his sock-clad feet across the tiles until he was next to Joey with a
wild smirk.

	"Long time ago people.  Stop bringing up old shit," Justin fussed.  His
ears were burning and he was sure that his cheeks were red.  He didn't have
anything to hide from Brian but certain aspects of his life weren't a
necessary prerequisite for admittance to Brian this earlier into whatever it
was that they were.

	"Not gay, controversial," JC insisted, this time pointing his cigarette at
Chris and Joey.  He turned back to Brian with a grin before adding, "I dated
Eva Longoria, you know."

	Brian nodded but he found himself turning his attention to Joey and Chris
stifled laughter.  He grinned at them with curiosity.

	"She dumped you, you fucked some guy, moving on," Joey mused, offhandedly
pouring another drink.

	"Fuck off," JC grumbled, stomping from the kitchen.

	"No thanks.  I'd like to remain the only member of *NSYNC that doesn't fuck
with guys," Joey called out, slurping on his drink.  He laughed lowly with
Chris joining him.  The laughter didn't last.

	"Hey!" Chris barked, punching Joey's arm without abandon.

	Brian laughed at them.  It was reminiscent of his days with his friends.
He could see Nick and AJ in that same condition, constantly poking fun at
the others because its the only thing that kept them afloat.  Brian would
join them, never fearing Kevin's wrath or having to hide behind Howie's
seriousness.  He wondered if that's how it would be when he told them about
Justin?  Would they be so accepting to freely talk as if Justin had been
apart of them all along?  Because, while he hated to admit it, it mattered
if they were accepting of Justin.

	Brian jumped when a mouth kissed his neck.  He settled when he saw Justin's
hands on either side of his elbows.  He let lips play carefully along the
side of his neck, a tongue tracing against the heartbeat that thudded
through his veins.  He wanted to purr but didn't.  Purr?  He thought about
escaping those thoughts because Justin's lips were against his ear and he
was still standing in front of Chris and Joey with Justin pressed against
his backside.

	"They must like you," Justin whispered, breath tickling Brian's ear.

	"Good for me?" Brian questioned bashfully and low, his cheeks filled with
blush because Joey was watching them with his glass tipped toward Brian.

	"Better for me," Justin replied, grinning against Brian's ear.  He was
looking at Lance who was busy stealing a sip of Joey's drink.  They weren't
really paying attention to Justin and Brian but occasionally their eyes did
focus on them and it wasn't unnerving for Justin.  Not like he thought it
would be.  It was as if Brian was just as welcomed as Cameron, maybe more so
because he was friendlier and more sincere about his intentions than Cameron
was at first.  He was definitely more welcome than Britney and there wasn't
hesitation about the situation.  They just needed a declaration to believe
that it wasn't just a faze Justin decided to go through.

	"Think our little JT is happy?" Joey asked, his voice the same as it had
always been.  He didn't feel the need to whisper.

	"I think BL is a little happier," Chris hummed, leaning on Joey as he
watched Brian smile.  Chris smiled back halfheartedly, swallowing down the
last of Joey's drink.

	"Where the hell do you guys come up with these childish nicknames?" Lance
asked, irritation running through his voice.

	"Shut up LB," Chris and Joey replied, never losing a beat as they laughed.
Brian joined them, tipping his head back until it rested against Justin's
collarbone.  He let Justin nuzzle his chin against the top of his head while
Justin's fingers slipped into the sides of his jeans.  He let Justin toy
with the top of his boxer-briefs, thumbs skating along delicate skin that
wished it was being kissed rather than toyed with.

	"I slept with Fergie," JC declared from the living room and it only
spiraled the laughter until Joey and Chris were doubled over and Lance was
leaning against the island with tears in his eyes.

	Justin smirked.  They weren't pretending.  It was as if Justin had been
apart of them all along.  He liked that.  He loved it and he loved the way
Brian was laughing with them while his fingers brushed against the hairs on
Justin's arms.  Apart of them and apart of him.



	Brian toyed with the buttons on his cell phone.  He was sitting on the edge
of Justin's bed.  Justin was tucked away in another room and Brian had
escaped the madness of being around Justin's friends for hours.

	He read a brief text message from Joey before smiling.  Joey was insistent
on exchanging numbers with Brian.  He was hoping Brian would bring Baylee
back out to LA, set up an appointment for their children to meet and play.
He was hoping Brian would accompany he and Chris to a club but Brian
politely refused.  He couldn't leave Justin.  He didn't want to even though
he knew Justin had a few phone calls that would take a few hours and would
decrease their time of being together.

	He settled for talking to Lance for an hour, apologizing for things he
didn't do but felt the need to.  And Lance was more than willing to atone to
his own misjudgment.  Lance tried to offer Brian advice, council him on his
approach because Brian still hadn't opened up to any of them about their
marriage but Lance was wise enough to know things ran a little deeper when
crossing this line.

	JC had left some time before Lance but not for asking for Brian's number as
well.  He said it was to keep tabs on Justin, but Brian sensed it was
because he might've left a good impression on JC.  He was hoping that was
the case because he wasn't trying and that made it all more than worth it.

	Brian slid down the screen of his phone, his wallpaper displaying a picture
of Baylee.  He couldn't help but sigh and then smile.  He had called his
parents but he forgot the time difference.  He had forgotten that Baylee was
pleasantly sleeping, probably in the guest room, and he wasn't going to get
the opportunity to at least sing to his son.  He grazed his index finger
over the screen, eyes batting close for a moment as he thought of his son's
small arms trying to wrap around his neck when he returned to Kentucky.

	"You miss him," Justin whispered.

	Brian quickly lifted his head and blinked open his eyes.  He was greeted by
a smile from Justin.  He stared into those deep blue eyes for a second
before Justin moved from in front of him to sit next to him on the bed.  He
permitted Justin to pluck the cell phone from his grasp.  He exhaled lowly
and leaned in Justin's direction until their shoulders touched.

	"I miss him too.  It's weird because he's not mine, yet I feel so
protective of him," Justin confessed, gazing at the picture of Baylee
laughing.

	"That's a plus," Brian grinned, country accent thick as he spoke.

	"You say that as if I have any minuses against me," Justin responded,
faking hurt.  He let the cell phone lay in his lap as he turned to Brian.

	"You used to smoke," Brian shrugged out, letting one of his hands rest on
Justin's lap.  He toyed with one of the holes in Justin's designer jeans,
fingers plucking at the loose strings of denim.

	"You used to be a Backstreet Boy," Justin huffed out, his thumb stroking
the skin of Brian's wrist.

	"Still am," Brian countered, his voice raising a little without spite in
it.

	"Major downer B," Justin snickered, holding onto Brian's wrist as he tried
to snatch away.  He turned Brian's hand palm-up and traced over the skin.

	Brian let his other hand trace up Justin's naked torso and he wondered when
Justin lost his shirt?  His fingers danced against ribs, skimmed over wisps
of hair, circled a nipple.  He sighed because the feeling of Justin's skin
again was satisfying in ways he couldn't put together with pen or paper.  It
was finding a new piece of life in an already drawn out one.

	"I want to take a bath," Brian whispered, his fingers dancing down Justin's
stomach.  He looked up and caught Justin watching him with the kind of
revelry that he wished he could show without thought.  He gave Justin a
crooked smile before Justin winked at him.

	"May I join?" Justin requested, sucking in his bottom lip.

	Brian giggled and shook his head at Justin.  He pulled his hand from
Justin's loose grip and shimmied back on the bed.  "It wouldn't be a good
one without you."

	Justin let Brian pull off his shirt but caught his arm before he could
fully stand and walk toward the bathroom.  He pulled Brian back down to the
bed with a kind expression.  He sensed Brian's hesitation but ignored it.
He gesture for Brian to scoot closer and there was only a slight reluctance
from Brian.  He lifted his hand and ran his fingers over Brian's cheek,
trying to soften the look in Brian's eyes with his own meaningful glare.

	"Getting mushy?" Brian inquired, letting Justin's thumb trace the bridge of
his nose.  He jumped when Justin flicked the tip of his nose and his natural
reaction was to punch Justin in the arm.  He caught himself.

	"I don't want to sound out of place or rude but saying this," Justin said,
his warning already making Brian waver.  He sighed and let his hand drop
down to Brian's bare shoulder.  "But there's something else I'd like to do
before we take that bath."

	Brian arched an eyebrow at Justin and thought over his words.  It didn't
take long to hit him and a small smile tug at the corner of his mouth.  He
sensed Justin's nervousness, saw that way it turned him from confident young
man to a nervous schoolgirl.  He snickered and shook his head, easing back
some.

	"I mean, please don't take it the wrong way or think that I'm some kind of
horny teenager who's desperate to get some," Justin babbled out.  "Because I
can take care of it myself and that's not what this is about.  That is
definitely not what you and I are about."

	Brian nodded, catching Justin suck in his bottom lip again.  He rolled his
shoulders and held back.  He wanted Justin to want it.  He wanted Justin to
wait.  He had thought about it, considered rolling on top of Justin last
night to begin something he was sure he'd reconsider in the morning.  He
hadn't sorted out all of his feelings and having sex with Justin again could
run the gambit.  It could confuse him more and then he'd have to back away
until he figured everything out.  He didn't want to back away.

	"Are you asking?" Brian pondered, leaning toward Justin with a hint of
feral attraction.  He watched the way Justin's Adam's Apple bobbed when he
swallowed.  Justin tried to reply but Brian slipped his index and middle
finger over Justin's lips with a grin.  He knew the response but he
preferred the chase.  "Because I'd much prefer you go after what you want
rather than ask.  We probably want the same thing."

	Justin's brow raised and he had to swallow again.  He wet his lips when
Brian pulled his fingers away.  His head cocked to the side and he examined
Brian because maybe Brian was playing a role?  He could be teasing him.  It
was plausible because Brian was playful like that.  It wouldn't be a bad
thing but it wasn't what Justin wanted.

	But then Brian was standing.  He was peeling off his socks and then glaring
at Justin with that same untamed glare that made Justin's cock throb and his
palms sweat.  Brian's fingers popped open the button of his jeans and he let
them hang, let them sit barely on his hips for Justin to look at.  Justin
smiled because he was still nervous but he knew Brian wanted that confidence
back.

	Justin stood from the bed, precise fingers unsnapping the buttons on his
jeans.  He calmed his breathing as Brian watched his fingers, watched the
way they spread open the flaps of his jeans and Justin freely adjusted
himself through his boxers.  He used it to his advantage.  He briskly
grabbed Brian's waist and pulled Brian to him, bracing himself as Brian
stumbled toward him.  He caught Brian in his arms, smiling because Brian's
jeans were now tangled around his knees and he was staring up at Justin with
small speckles of bewilderment flushed into his excitement.

	Justin adjusted Brian until he was standing straight, jeans pooling to his
feet.  He held onto him as he stepped out of the jeans, Justin holding his
smile as Brian tried to concentrate.  He leaned downward and pressed a few
kisses to Brian's forehead, baited breath bathing Brian's face as he waited.
  He found Brian's lips as soon as the older man turned his head upward.  He
latched on with no intentions of releasing until those lips were bruised and
pleading.

	There were a few muffled moans as Justin maneuvered his lips against
Brian's.  He cupped the back of Brian's head while his other hand held the
small of his back.  His lips danced over Brian in swift but deep kisses,
reveling in the way that Brian's hands roamed across his back, his hips, his
chest.  His tongue licked across Brian's bottom lip while his hand tugged at
the top of Brian's boxer-briefs.  He swallowed each of Brian's moans, tongue
licking into Brian's mouth before retracting.  He tugged at the small curls
at the end of Brian's hair, quicker pecks leaving Brian breathless as Justin
tugged down his boxer-briefs.  He pulled back, satiated in the way Brian
panted hard and stood there with his boxer-briefs nestled under his balls
and his body aching for more brief touches.

	Justin let Brian pull the boxer-briefs the rest of the way down, settling
for shucking off his own jeans.  He grabbed Brian's hand for security,
drawing in that trust that he knew Brian needed.  He reached back, cupped
Brian's ass and pulled him up until Brian stood on the tips of his toes and
they were kissing once more.  He smiled into the kiss when Brian became a
little bolder, dared to pull his cock through the front flap of his boxers.
He let Brian massage his hard-on, his tongue once again playing across
Brian's teeth and the roof of his mouth.

	"Want it," Brian groaned into the kiss, pulling back with sweat forming on
his brow and a shaking hand holding onto Justin's shoulder.  He squeezed the
muscles there, shivered when Justin's mouth danced away from his and latched
onto his neck.  He found it hard to regulate his breathing as Justin suckled
his skin.  He almost fell apart under Justin's large hands, hands that were
squeezing his ass, brushing against his back with fingertips tickling
against his shoulder blades and kneading into his ribs.

	"You do?" Justin asked and the coyness in his voice was obvious.  He was
licking at Brian's jaw.  He kissed down Brian's neck, bit at his collarbone
before flattening his tongue against the base of Brian's neck.

	"Mmph," Brian whimpered, wrapping his arms around Justin's neck.  He
exhaled easy when Justin eased up to briefly kiss him.  He wanted to hold
onto the kiss but withdrew, letting Justin's erection brush against his own.
  The tip of his dick brushed against the cotton on Justin's boxers and
suddenly he was aware that he needed Justin out of them.

	Justin allowed Brian to push him backward until he hit the bed and gently
fell to a seated position on the edge.  He grabbed onto Brian's hands, held
them because he didn't want Brian to get too far away.  He grinned when
Brian leaned down, one knee on the bed between Justin's spread legs.  He
welcomed a kiss, swallowed Brian's tongue while releasing his hands.  He
grabbed onto Brian's ears and held him there, lips sore while he kissed.  He
swallowed each of Brian's breaths, breathing hard through his nose as he
tried to continue kissing.  He only let Brian pull away for a second before
biting at Brian's lips.  He nibbled on the tip of Brian's tongue, licking
his way over the top of Brian's lip.  His fingers massaged Brian's
shoulders.  He shook when Brian's fingers pinched his nipples.  He had not
known this much fever, this intensity in years.  His body burned with a heat
he didn't know existed.

	"Need something," Brian whispered against Justin's lips with heavy pants
and shaky knees.

	"I need you," Justin argued, giving a soft pull on Brian's bobbing cock.

	Brian keened, shaking his head because it felt so good but he knew he had
to escape.  He spotted the lust in Justin's eyes and almost thought to throw
him back on the bed and grind against Justin until they were both wet with
sweat and release.

	"Just... wait," Brian pleaded, cursing himself because Justin's fingers
were no longer playing with the head of his cock and he was stumbling
backward until he reached his discarded jeans.  Brian was trying to hide his
shyness, the blush that was creeping into his cheeks as he tried to hide his
desire.  He reached into the back pocket of his jeans, pulled out a tube and
strolled back to Justin with a little more confidence.

	Justin raised his brow, watching Brian curiously as the older man stood
between his spread legs.  He laughed when Brian winked at him and tried to
remain comfortable when Brian straddled him, a knee on either side of his
hips.  His eyes remained on Brian until he felt a slick hand grip his aching
erection.  He glanced down with a light gasp, watching the way Brian stroked
him, slicked lube onto his cock.  His breaths were uneven but his eyes were
focused on Brian's hand.  He trembled when Brian's thumb played along the
head and cringed with delight when Brian's middle finger ran down the vein.

	Justin collected his thoughts for a mere moment.  He looked up and spotted
the grin playing across Brian's thin lips.  He giggled under his breath,
whispering, "you wanted this, didn't you?"

	Brian nodded, hands roaming down until they palmed Justin's balls.  He
dared to tickle under them, grinning as he let his hand dance back up to
grip the base of Justin's dick.  He sighed happily as Justin hissed.  "It
might've crossed my mind earlier."

	"Why.. didn't you.. say anything?" Justin stuttered out, a hand finding
purchase on Brian's hip.  He had to find something to hold onto, something
to bare some of his focus and desperation.

	Brian kissed Justin's forehead, mouthed his way down to his nose.  He
kissed under Justin's eyes, stroking a little faster before slowing to a
crawl, fingertips feeling the stickiness of the lube and the wetness of
Justin's precome.  He kissed Justin's cheeks, pulled away when Justin tried
to kiss him.

	"Passive-aggressive, maybe?" Brian teased, grinning as Justin tried to
reach forward for a kiss.  Again Brian denied him.  He playfully pecked a
kiss to Justin's nose before pulling up Justin hand.  He squeezed a healthy
amount of lube onto Justin's fingers, letting some drip down onto Justin's
thigh.  He leaned forward until his lips brushed Justin's ear, waiting for
Justin to grab ahold of his ass.  He smiled when Justin did, whispering, "Or
maybe I just wanted you to tell me that you wanted it to.  I wanted to know
that there was a little something more than the sex."

	Justin hissed when Brian traced his earlobe with his tongue.  He found
unison with Brian's own hissing when his index finger began to push into
Brian.  He chewed his lower lip, watching Brian's eyes shut as he adjusted
to the intrusion.  He was careful, his finger only moving when Brian quieted
some.  He pressed in and out, waited for the muscles to relax while watching
Brian slowly begin to lower himself further on the finger.

	"It's definitely more than the sex," Justin confessed, staring in awe as
Brian inched his way onto two fingers.  He scissored the his fingers as
Brian groaned lowly.  Justin kissed at Brian's chest, let his tongue play
along the scar in the center of Brian's chest.  He could feel each moan as
his lips tasted the sweat forming around Brian's pecs.  He let his tongue
dance around Brian's nipples, teeth lightly nipping at the erect flesh.  His
erection was throbbing against his own stomach as he kissed at the top of
Brian's stomach.

	Brian brushed a hand over Justin's shorn hair and paused.  He let Justin
swivel the fingers inside of him, loosen him up a little more.  His upper
lip curled and he could only brace himself as Justin dug a little deeper.
He was trying to be prepared, trying to remember what it was like to have
Justin inside of him well over a week prior.  His back arched and he sighed
longly as Justin sucked on one of his nipples.

	"It's so much more," Justin groaned, licking his way up as Brian drifted
down onto his fingers.  He caught Brian's collarbone for a second before
Brian was rising again, lifting himself off of Justin's fingers.

	"In," Brian whispered and he hoped it was enough.  He hoped Justin caught
onto the hint because his body was already aching and his spirit was
restless.  He felt anxiety and excitement and everything was just a wonder
to him behind soft blue eyes until Justin grabbed his hip and spread his
legs just a hint farther.

	He remembered not to tense up when the head of Justin's cock pressed
against his entrance and wished Justin hadn't waited when it began to push
inside.  He wished Justin would've forced him down because his mind was
feeling hesitation his body refused to answer to.  He hissed quietly and
reached down to give himself a quick stroke.  He did it again as Justin
finally eased him down, taking in inches without a moment's breath.  Brian
wanted to feel Justin's balls against his ass, wanted to know it was over
and he could relax but he didn't.  He gasped quietly as Justin casually
lifted him up and then brought him down again.  It was an old sensation made
new and Brian gravitated toward it.

	Brian felt it on the uptake, felt the burn against his ribs and then sting
against the back of his eyes as he reached the base.  His legs shook and he
tried to hold himself in place as Justin buried himself in Brian.  He let
out a silent gasp when Justin thrust upward, trying to fit every piece
inside until Brian's heart was racing and his hands were shaking.

	"In," Justin gasped, hands holding onto Brian's hips.

	Brian nodded, eyes shut and breathed through his nose.  He swiveled his
hips and pressed down to make sure.  It was all in and Brian couldn't quite
remember not having this inside of him for so many days.  He blinked open
his eyes and caught Justin staring at him, mouth open and eyes lidded.  He
fumbled with a smile and nodded toward Justin.

	"Nice," Justin said softly, hands tracing down and over Brian's thighs.

	"Ah," Brian gasped, the head of Justin's cock just close enough that it
kissed at that tight spot inside of Brian that made his legs shake and his
body crumble with satisfaction.  He knew he needed to reach down to feel it
even more.

	"Need to move," Brian whispered back, slowly lifting himself up.  He didn't
mean to squeeze his muscles as he lifted but his body was still tense.  He
was sure Justin enjoyed it.

	Justin's eyes rolled and he hissed, sensations rippling through his body as
Brian withdrew just to the tip.  "You're in control."

	Brian grinned mentally.  He liked the idea.  When they first had sex, he
had little control.  He was in Justin's hands, under Justin's body, trapped
in a world they both created.  He eased back down until he felt Justin's
pubes and balls against his lower body.  He lifted again, only pulling up
halfway before settling back down.  A little faster, a little deeper.  He
smiled when Justin groaned.  He couldn't hide it.

	Justin relinquished his hold on Brian's thighs and let his hands rest
behind him.  He let Brian have control.  He closed his eyes and let Brian
move up and down, rotating from fast and friction-heavy to slow and melodic.
  Brian's moans were resounding from his chest and that forced Justin to
open eyes, watch the way Brian rode with eyes closed and teeth clenched.  He
dared to thrust upward as Brian came down, shook with the sensation.  His
toes curled then.  He did it again and again.  He was bucking back and
Brian's moans were getting louder in pitch but deeper in tone.

	"Oh God," Brian gasped, eyes opening to look down at Justin.  Justin was
again watching him and that turned everything a little fuzzy.  He latched
onto Justin's shoulders, screwed himself down as Justin thrust up and caught
every beat of Justin's body.

	"Mm, fuck," Justin grunted, shallow thrusts catching Brian as he lifted
upward.  The slap of flesh purged him on.  He gripped Brian's hip with one
hand and spat into his other.  He used that hand to grab Brian's cock, slick
it with wetness and stroke it with little restraint.

	"Oh wow," Brian moaned, head snapping back as he tried to move in a steady
rhythm.  He had lost the ability to maintain even strokes somewhere between
Justin playing with the head of his cock and that sharp, warming feeling
that hit him when Justin thrust up hard and hit his prostate.

	"Wow's good," Justin groaned, pulling Brian close enough so that his tongue
could lick the center of Brian's chest.  He caught the sound of Brian
whimpering and again he grinned.  He took a little more control as Brian's
ministrations became a little less up and more down.  He fucked up and into
Brian, pacing himself because he wasn't sure he wanted to not last.  He had
to catch himself, his lips pulling away as he saw a small red bruise begin
to form on Brian's chest.  He licked at the sensitive skin as Brian became
active in their act again.

	"Talking too much," Brian hissed out.  He traced over the cross tattoo on
Justin's arm and focused for a moment to move a little faster.  He felt
himself almost buck off of Justin and controlled himself just barely, but
enough to keep Justin inside.

	"Oh," Justin replied and it was more of a moan than a spoken response.  It
tickled the back of his throat and his legs were too tired to thrust up
again.  He let Brian's weight settle onto him as Brian just twisted and
rolled, letting Justin throb inside of him.

	"Mm, God, I want it," Brian sighed, a swift up and down stroke unnerving
him before he settling back onto Justin again.

	"Want it too," Justin whined back, trying to pressure up into Brian.  There
was no room for movement.

	"Oh yeah," Brian groaned back and he let his other words lull in his chest
as he rocked on Justin's cock.  He tightened his muscles, tried to hold back
that urge to cum because Justin was stroking him fast and without care.  He
wanted to swat Justin's hand away but it was dulling the burn of Justin
being inside of him.

	"Fuck, that's nice," Justin said, pushing up just the slightest.  He looked
at Brian, found the older man staring at him with a glint in his eyes that
Justin almost didn't understand.  He rocked up again and watched a silent
groan pass through Brian's lips.  He smirked, letting Brian lean down to
kiss away his smugness.  He moved up again, trying to get some motion from
Brian but Brian didn't move.  He snickered into the kiss because he did read
the signs correctly.  He knew what Brian wanted but wouldn't say.  It wasn't
passive-aggressive; it was submissive and desired.

	Justin released Brian's cock, hands rounding until they found Brian's hops.
  He lifted him some before pulling him down, his own body lifting from the
bed some to greet Brian's downward rock.  He reached as far inside as he
could, repeating the action as Brian continued to kiss at his lips.  He
tried to kiss back, keep his concentration as he pushed into Brian.  He
pulled them forward until they were barely on the edge of the bed, their
continued up-meets-down stroking urging Justin closer to the edge.

	"Oh fuck," Brian gasped, kissing once the words slipped from his mouth.

	"Potty mouth," Justin laughed, sucking on Brian's bottom lip.  He rocked up
once more before giving into his own temptation.  He lifted Brian as Brian
tried to move upward and without losing a beat, turned them until Brian was
lying on the bed with Justin hovering over him.  He thought he was a little
more suave with his motions, but he wasn't.  Brian was panting and looking
at him and it only took him a moment to realign himself and slide back into
Brian, his lips catching the loud groan Brian released when his cock eased
back inside.

	"Oh," Brian bellowed, his back arching as Justin slid deep and hard.  He
felt the change in pace, the urgency as Justin grinded deeper and his
strokes came quicker.  He lifted his legs from the bed and let them dangle
in the air.  He did his best to spread them while reaching between his legs
to grab his cock.

	Justin kissed along Brian's jaw, laid himself flat against Brian.  He gave
Brian just enough room to stroke himself as Justin thrust with more measured
speed.  He did his best to swivel his hips and dig deep to hit Brian's
prostate.  His lips kissed at Brian's cheeks, let each of Brian's groans
ring in his ear as a hand reached up and cupped his other cheek.  It was a
possessive move but one he was sure turned Brian on even more.

	"Oh.. oh, oh," Brian moaned, legs shaking and toes curling.  He didn't know
whether to stay in the moment or reach his orgasm quicker.  He could hear
Justin making happy noises in the back of his throat.  It encouraged him.

	"You like that," Justin gasped, nibbling at Brian's bottom lip as he jabbed
harder.  He felt Brian nodding, Brian's free hand reaching back and grabbing
onto the sheets.

	Justin lifted up, looked down at Brian as his hips snapped a little harder.
  He breathed hard, took in the sight of Brian gasping and looking back at
him.  Sweat matted Brian's hair to his head and his mouth was open, freely
releasing groans.  His hand cupped Brian's chin and he thought of reaching
down and kissing him but restrained himself.

	"Like that?" Justin asked, slower strokes as he held onto Brian's chin.

	Brian nodded a response, trying to grasp onto words as his body tried to
grasp onto any drops of oxygen.

	"You -- oh fuck -- like that, don't you?" Justin questioned again with
labored breaths.  He pulled out almost all the way and waited before
slamming back in.

	"Mmm, Justin," Brian moaned back, tipping his head back while hooking his
ankles around Justin's back, preventing him from pulling too far out.
Pieces of his inside were unraveling and he was doing his best not to buck
against Justin's motions.

	"I like it," Justin gasped, shallow thrusts making Brian's back arch just a
little more under Justin.  "I like being in you."

	Brian nodded again because he wasn't able to find that part of the brain
that controlled speech.  He only knew that groans were stinging against his
throat and his lungs were burning.  His hand had slowed its stroking because
he wasn't sure cumming while Justin spoke so dirty would boost Justin's ego
or persuade him to be gentler next time.  It didn't matter to him as long as
there was a next time.

	"I like fucking you," Justin whispered and that yanked a tight groan from
Brian that made Justin smile for a second before his own thrust forced him
to close his eyes and slow down for just an instant.

	"Fuck me," Brian whimpered and he didn't know why but it came out without
any form of hesitation.  It just felt right, felt perfect in the moment.  He
exhaled hard before pleading, "baby, please."

	Justin held onto Brian's face, his face dangerously close to Brian's.  He
swallowed each of Brian's breaths, lips just barely grazing Brian's as he
worked into Brian a little harder.  His spine was tingling and his legs were
tightening.  He felt Brian shuddering and there was no denying they were
both nearing that point where they wouldn't return.

	"Justin, oh my," Brian gasped, his throat dry and his body drenched with
sweat.  He gripped the sheets a little tighter and tried to keep his eyes
open as to watch Justin's face crew into a pained expression.  He bucked
back once before gasping out, "cum."

	"Brian," Justin mewled, screwing deeper and thrusting quicker.  He tried to
kiss at Brian's lips but Brian's head was moving and he was groaning.
Justin felt Brian's body shaking beneath him.  He felt Brian's free hand
trembling against his back and he didn't bother to glance between them.  He
felt something warm dripping against his chest and every moan Brian held
back was flooding the room.

	"Oh, oh, oh," Justin managed to get out, his own body quaking because he
had held back for too long.  He had tried to hold in his restraint but his
cock was ejaculating and he wished he had remembered to pull out this time,
not to cum inside of Brian.  His fingers splayed on Brian's face and
loosened, Brian's encouraging strokes against his back comforting.  He was
tumbling toward something great as his shallow thrusts went a little deeper
and he slowed.

	"God, yeah," Brian keened, keeping his legs wrapped around Justin.

	Justin nodded, reaching the height of his high before shuddering hard,
resting on top of Brian as a few aftershocks ran through him.  His hips
involuntarily thrust one more time but he knew his penis was flaccid.

	"Shit," Justin hissed.

	"Just... wow," Brian whispered, letting Justin kiss at his cheek and comb
fingers through his hair.  He felt a sweat palm on his shoulder and turned
toward it, kissing at one of Justin's knuckles.  He was getting control over
his breathing again and that was enough for him.

	"Wow's good," Justin repeated, his lips kissing at Brian's neck.

	Brian nodded, smiling when Justin lifted his head.  He liked the sweaty,
flushed look of Justin's face.  He giggled as he ran his thumb down Justin's
sideburns.  He let his hand drop back as Justin pushed himself up, resting
his weight on his arms and knuckles.  He untangled his legs from around
Justin but prayed Justin didn't pull out just yet.  His body had become too
accustom to this heat, this closeness.

	"We definitely need that bath now," Justin said, holding steady above
Brian.

	Brian nodded, chewing on his lower lip the way he knew Justin did.  It was
becoming a habit, but a welcome one.  Thoughts were fuzzy and meandering and
he was too concentrated on Justin's smile and the way his eyes held that
after-sex glow with a hint of elation.  He was comfortable underneath
Justin.

	"About what you said earlier B," Justin added, losing some of that smile.
He watched the way Brian's face turned into concentration and he was sure
there were too many conversations earlier for Brian to piece it all
together.  "You know, about discussing where this is going and how you'd
like something more permanent."

	"Oh," Brian replied, nodding his head.  He felt it coming.  He was
struggling with the frown because he was certain that he had spoken out of
turn when he did.  He had said too much and made it known that he wanted to
take things a little further than Justin was willing to delve into.  This
was new for both of them and maybe Justin wasn't as attached to the idea of
being with a guy like Brian was.

	"I'm up for something more permanent," Justin whispered, pressing himself
down until they were chest-to-chest again.  He gave Brian a crooked grin
when Brian's eyes lit up and his face went from pale to astonished.  "I
mean, if that is where this is going because I'm hoping it is."

	Brian didn't know how or when to reply.  He stared up at Justin, watched
ruddy lips meander between a smirk and a thoughtful expression.  He felt his
dimples peeking when he tried to smile back.  He thought to nod but knew
Justin needed something a little more verbal.

	"That's definitely where this is going."

	Justin smiled and kissed at Brian's chin.  He didn't need to say more.  He
didn't want to sit in that awkward, nervous moment where they had to define
everything and map out their progression.  He just wanted to kiss at Brian's
lips and savor the instance he realized he had Brian for something a little
more permanent.


				I've got no time I wanna lose
				To people with something to prove
				What can you do but let them walk
				And make your way down the block
				I've got blonde on blonde
				On my portable stereo
				It's a lullabye
				From a giant golden radio
				It's a lullabye
				From Wonder Woman's radio

				-- "Blonde On Blonde" by Nada Surf

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over to: catsfan1@hotmail.com **