Date: Wed, 9 Jul 2003 12:28:59 -0700 (PDT)
From: JACK BROWN <jack_ga_2002@yahoo.com>
Subject: Brian and Jack / part 22/ A new day has come

**********

Hi every body:

I'm glad to be back here. During the past week I received tons of emails, I
still haven't answered all of them, but I promise that I will.

First of all I would like to thank all the people that read the story,
because I write it for you. I would like to thank you for sending messages
and comments. I love reading them all...

Well, as you all can see, the past chapter was not the end, so Jack and
Brian are back by popular request. I hope that this new part is as good as
the last one.

Ok, let's carry on to the story...

**********

I opened my eyes slowly and I couldn't tell where I was. My head was
killing me, it hurt so much. I pulled my hand up to my head and noticed
that I had bandages all around my head. I looked down at myself and noticed
that my legs were showing, since I was wearing some kind of gown. My left
leg was plastered and I could hardly move it. My right leg was not
plastered but it was all bruised. I realized then that I was in a
hospital. My left hand had a little tube coming out if it. I followed the
tube wondering where it lead and I noticed that it lead to some kind of
liquid which looked like serum.

I looked around the room and noticed that it didn't look that bad. I mean,
to my right side there was a window where I could see the hospital's
gardens. Between the bed and the window there was a small couch and a
coffee table. On top of the table there were some flowers in a vase and
some magazines.

On my left hand side, there were some other couches. The couches were made
out of brown leather and they actually looked quite good. There were some
paintings up on the walls. Right on the wall in front of me, there was a tv
and to the side there was a dvd player.

The room itself was very comfortable and cozy. To the far left side of the
room there was a small aisle and on one side of the aisle there was a door
which I figured, must have been the bathroom.

Right then, the door opened and John and Paul came in.

"Jack!" Paul said as he got closer "you're awake! John call the doctor"

"Right on" John replied as he ran out of the room

"Are you ok Jack?!" Paul was very nervous and I wasn't sure why.

"I've had better days" I told him smiling and he smiled too. The doctor
then just walked in followed by John and a nurse. I was actually surprised
to see that it was a male nurse. It was actually the first time I had seen
a male nurse. He was quite tall, and good looking.

"How are you feeling?" the doctor asked in a deep bass voice as he grabbed
my hand and felt my pulse.

"Not that bad" I replied "but my head and my leg are killing me"

"That's normal" he said "the nurse will give you something to ease off the
pain"

"That would be great"

"I'll check on you later on" the doctor said as he walked to the door "by
for now"

The nurse then put something into the serum that was going directly to my
left arm. As soon as the liquid that she had introduced into the serum
started going into my arm, the pain increased momentarily. A couple of
minutes later, the pain started to go away, until my leg and head didn't
hurt. The nurse left the room after she gave me the pain killer.

John and Paul were standing beside my bed. I was happy that they were with
me. They explained that I had been in hospital for two weeks. Because of
the car crash, I had been in a coma for those two weeks. They were very
worried

"What were you thinking Jack?" Pal said in a serious tone

"What do you mean?" I asked not knowing what he was saying

"Why were you driving so fast" Paul asked again

"The truck driver with whom you crashed said you were doing at least 90mph"
John explained "what on earth made you drive so fast??!"

I was silent thinking about what had happened that night. I tried very hard
but I couldn't tell why I had been driving that fast. I usually drive fast,
I but I had never driven at 80 mph, especially in the city centre. My mind
was blurry and could not concentrate properly, there seemed to be something
missing, I could remember the truck's lights coming towards me, but I
couldn't remember what happened before that.

Right then, a knock on the door snapped me back to reality. Paul walked
over to the door and opened it. It was Brian. He was standing there holding
a teddy bear and some flowers smiling. He came closer to me and kissed me.

As soon as our lips met, flashbacks of what had happened that night started
flooding my mind. I remembered perfectly what happened that night. I had
gone to make up with Brian and I had discovered him with another guy having
sex.

"What are you doing here?" I said in a serious tone as I came back to
reality

"Well" John began "he has hardly left your side"

"That's right, he's been next to you the whole two weeks" Paul said smiling

"Could you guys leave us alone" I told my brothers and they left us alone.

"We'll come to check on you tomorrow morning" Paul said as he closed the
door behind them

They closed the door behind them and we were silent for a second. None of
us really wanted to talk and we did not know where to begin.

"It's good that you're feeling better"

"Listen Brian" I began "I want to break off"

"What?" Brian said "why don't you sleep on it tonight and we'll talk about
it in the morning?"

"No, I want to end it now"

"This is not the way I wanted for this to happen" he said lowly

"Shut Brian!" I exploded hearing his lousy explanation "just shut up ok?
Don't try to make yourself feel noble, you're no knight in shinning armor"

"I know I'm not but I do what I can"

"screw you Brian!, you were getting off easy here and you know it" I told
him "you are just one guy whose grown tired of screwing the same guy over
and over again"

"That's not true" he protested "I care a lot about you"

"Don't give me that bull shit now" I snapped "if you really cared about me
you wouldn't have cheated on me"

"I'm sorry but maybe it was for the best" he replied

I just froze; I had never ever heard Brian speak in such a cold way. I
couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Did you ever love me?" I asked

He was just staring at the ceiling. Thorough the whole conversation he had
not dared to look at me directly to my face.

"That's how I know it's over" I said looking at him. It was the first time
he raised his head to look at me "you didn't say a word in your defense,
not one, and I deserve better then that". I was crying by then. At first I
had tried to show my feelings, but I couldn't control them for long because
it was very painful for me. He was the only person I had really loved and
it hurt me so much to see that it wasn't likewise.

"You're right" he said "you deserve better than that"

"Please get out" I told him as I pointed to the door "I want to be alone. I
wish I could figure out why all the men that I had loved don't love me
back"

"Oh, Jack" he said as he got closer to me. He was about to hug me but I
stopped him by giving him a slap.

"I don't want your pity Brian Littrell!!" I snapped.

We stayed silent for a while and then I told him that he should leave. He
didn't say a word again. He just got up from his seat and walked to the
door, closing it behind him.

As soon as he was gone, I cried even more. I knew I had done what I needed
to do, but it was very painful for me. I wasn't sure if I would be able to
get over him. Looking back now, I would have probably forgiven him back
then, if he hadn't been such a prick.

I began wondering if this was my entire fault, had I paid more attention to
my work than to Brian? I couldn't figure out exactly what went wrong in our
relationship. I had to admit that at first I wasn't that much in love with
Brian, but as time went by, my love for him grew stronger. It was hard to
believe that his love for me, on the other hand, hadn't.

I raised my head and looked out of the window. It was already dark outside
and I was very tired. My head started hurting again and a few minutes later
the male nurse came to check on me. I wiped the tears away, but he realized
that I had cried. He looked at me and smiled as he checked my blood
pressure and things like that. He gave me some sedatives so that I could
get some sleep. And he left my dinner on one side and told me that I could
eat whenever I felt like it.

I was not hungry at all; I just laid my head back on my pillow and tried to
get some sleep. Unfortunately I couldn't, all I could think about was
Brian. I closed my eyes and in my head I could see images of me and
Brian. I remembered then, all the good times that we had shared together. I
remembered the first time we met, I met him back at the airport and it was
actually the most unusual way of meeting someone...I also remembered those
long nights that we use to spend back home just staring at the sky making
plans for the future. Right then, a tear escaped from the corner of my
eye. I couldn't figure out what had gone wrong.

I don't know at what time I fell asleep, but I knew that it was very late
by then...



The following day I woke up by the sound of someone coming in. It was the
nurse. He had brought me breakfast I looked at him and he smiled. As usual,
he checked my blood pressured and the other things. He started a small
conversation. I didn't feel like chatting since I wasn't in a mood for
anything, but he kept on talking.

His name was Mike and he said that his usual job was not a nurse; he
explained he used to work as a stuntman, but he wanted to get into medical
school and he needed money. He took on the job as a stuntman and he had
liked it.

"You're actually the first male nurse I have seen" I said lowly

"Am I?" he asked "well, I'm proud"

I wasn't sure if he was making a lousy joke or he was being serious. I
moved my head to the other side and looked out of the window. It was a
cloudy day and it looked like it was going to rain. I heard the door close
and I figured that the nurse, Mike, was gone. I knew I had behaved like a
dick to him, but I didn't want to talk to anyone, I just wanted to be
alone. Again, tears started forming in my eyes...

My brothers arrived a few minutes later.

"How are you feeling this morning?" Paul asked as he took off his coat and
put in on the couch

"Fine" I said still looking out the window.

"Are you all right?" John asked as he got closer and looked down at my face
"why are you crying?"

"What happened smiley?" Paul said as he got closer too. John sat down on my
bed next to me,

"Brian and I broke off" I said lowly and then I started crying again. John
immediately hugged me tight and I did the same.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Paul asked as he hugged me too

"Not now" I replied "maybe later"

"Whenever you feel like it" John said

We hugged for a few more minutes. I didn't want to let go. I felt so safe
in my brother's arms. I cried some more until I was able to calm myself
down. John and Paul were very understanding and realized that I didn't want
to talk about the subject at that moment. I was glad that they were by my
side.

Paul noticed that I had not eaten anything and asked me to eat something. I
wasn't hungry at all, but he insisted on me eating something. I ate
something so that he would be happy. There was a silence in the room as I
ate. I guess they were afraid of saying something they shouldn't.

"What happened with the job?" I asked

"Haven't we told you?!" they said in unison and I just nodded in a negative
way "you got it!"

"Did I?!" I exclaimed. It was actually the first good news that I had
heard.

"Yes you did" John explained "Daniel made the presentation on your behalf
and the executives absolutely loved your designs"

"That's amazing" I replied

John continued telling me all about it. He explained that I had gotten a
new office somewhere else in the city. He had already gone to see it and
told me that I would absolutely love it. He said that it was the biggest
office he had ever seen. John described in detail how the office was. It
was very big and on one side of it, there was a huge fish tank embedded on
the wall. By the way John described the office, it looked like a great
office and I just couldn't wait to see it for myself.

John told me that Daniel was taking care of the business while I was away,
but as soon as I could, I would have to go back to work. I realized that
Daniel would learn a lot from the job while I was away and I was happy to
hear that he was taking care of it. I was eager to get back to work, but I
knew I had to heal first, before I was able to carry on. Right then, there
was a knock on the door and the doctor came in.

"Hello Jack" he said as he got closer

"Hi Dr..."

"Crowter, Dr. Crowter" he said "I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself
yesterday"

"No problem" I replied

"How are you feeling?"

"Well, my head is hurting just a bit and my leg doesn't hurt anymore" I
explained

"I see" he said "well, you're making slight progresses" The doctor checked
my head and felt my leg. He said that he would check on me again that
evening. I nodded and then he left the room.

My brothers stayed with me the whole day and they put up with my moody
face, and I thank them for it. In the evening, John turned the TV on to see
what was on. It's sometimes a bit annoying to watch TV with him, because he
has the bad habit of flipping channels without letting you see what is
on. That really gets on my nerves, because he just flips the channels and
he just goes `no, no, no, no, no' until he finds something that he
likes. He usually likes watching MTV. I wasn't really into watching TV
right then, so I didn't make a protest. I just laid back and started
watching some videos.

Paul, on the other hand, was having an argument with John because he
doesn't like watching TV. Usually, when we are at home, it's such a
problem, because John wants to watch MTV, Paul wants to watch the news and
those boring programs and I want to watch a movie. This time, was no
different, Paul and John were arguing on who was the one who'd decide what
to watch.

I looked at both of them and smiled. Even though they were older than me,
they looked like little children. There was a knock on the door and we all
turned to see who it was. Daniel was standing at the door smiling, holding
some balloons.

"Hello lazy boy" he said as he put the balloon son one side of the
room. They were some big balloons that said `get well soon'.

"Hi there" I told him as he sat down on the couch next to the bed.

"So what's up with you?" he asked "are you feeling better?"

"Yes actually" I replied "I'm feeling much better"

"Well, I've got great news" he said excited "guess!"

"That I got the job?" I asked smiling

"How did you know?" he asked disappointed and then I pointed at John

"Oh, I see, but he told you that the executives loved the designs?"

"Yes"

"Has he told you about the office?"

"Yes"

"Has he described it?"

"Yes"

"Has he told you about the new raise?"

"Yes...no!" I replied "what raise?"

"Ha, got you sucker!" he said looking at John "well Jack, you've got a new
raise, actually, it's a big one"

"Really?" I asked

"yep, but you will know all about it when you get back to work" he
explained "right now, I'm covering you, but I don't think I will be able to
do it for a long time buddy"

"Don't worry, I will be there soon" I told him and for the first time I
smiled.

Daniel stayed for a long time and we talked about many things. He explained
more or less what he had been doing for those two weeks that I had been
away. He informed me that the office was in a completely different building
and he also said that we had a new secretary. Daniel was very excited about
the whole new deal.

The nurse, Mike, came in to check on me to see if I had eaten and then he
took my tray away. Daniel kept staring at him and smiling.

"The things I could teach that hottie" Daniel whispered as Mike closed the
door behind him.

"ewww!!" I said and laughed "I didn't want to know your sexual fantasies"

"But it's true" he replied

"Ok, let's change the subject"

Daniel asked me about Brian and I just told him that we had broken up. I
also said that I preferred not to talk about it at that time and he
understood completely. My brothers were still there and they were arguing
about the TV programs. Daniel left a few minutes later because he said he
needed to get back to the office. I thanked him for visiting me and then he
left the room.

Paul said he had to work too, so he excused himself giving me a kiss on my
forehead and then he left the room. Before he left, he said he would visit
me that evening and that if needed something, I could call him and he'd be
right there immediately.

John said he didn't have to do much so he stayed with me. The rest of the
day was more or less the same, we chatted about many things and we also
watched TV. He was happy that I wasn't arguing about what we were gonna
watch and he settled on MTV.

Paul went to visit me that night to check on me and then he and John went
home. I laid back on my pillow and then I drifted off to sleep...

The next day, the guys from N*sync had gone to visit me. I was very happy
to see that they had taken time out of their busy schedules to visit
me. They had brought me some gifts and some chocolates. Justin was very
happy to see me and kept on telling jokes. He was very good at telling
jokes and I spent all the while laughing. I thanked him for trying to make
me feel better.

"I miss you" Justin said smiling "I mean we miss you"

"I miss you too guys" I told them.

"I'm glad to see that you're recovering" Jc said

"Thanks Josh"

"We'll see you shortly, won't we?" Lance asked and I nodded in an
affirmative way.

We talked for a long time about many things. They asked me about Brian and
I wasn't sure what to tell them. I thought for a second and then I told
them roughly what had happened with him. I didn't want to keep secrets from
him since they were my friends. I didn't get into details, but I explained
to them that we had broken up. They were silent and didn't ask anything
else. Right then, Justin ran out of the room and then he came back a few
minutes later with a guitar.

"We're gonna sing a song for you Jack" Justin said smiling. I had no idea
that he could play the guitar. The guys gathered around Justin who was on
one side of my bed.

When the visions around you

Bring tears to your eyes

And all that surround you

Are secrets and lies

I'll be your strength

I'll give you hope

Keeping your faith when it's gone

The one you should call

Was standing here all alone

(Chorus)

And I will take you in my arms

And hold you right where you belong

`Til the day my life is through

This I promise you

This I promise you

I've loved you forever

In lifetimes before

And I promise you never

Will you hurt anymore

I give you my word

I give you my heart

This is a battle we've won

And with this vow

Forever has now begun

Just close your eyes

Each lovin' day

And know this feeling won't go away

`Til the day my life is through

This I promise you

This I promise you

Over and over I fall

When I hear you call

Without you in my life, baby

I just wouldn't be living at all

(chorus)

Just close your eyes

Each lovin' day

And know this feeling won't go away

Every word I say is true

This I promise you

Every word I say is true

This I promise you

I promise you



By the time they ended the song, I had tears in my eyes. I have no idea
why, but I just did. Justin moved closer to me and hugged me

"Whenever you need me" Justin said "I'll be there for you"

"Thanks Justin" I simply told him and then we broke the hug.

They realized that they had to go to a photo shoot. Justin didn't want to
go, but he knew he had to, since it was his job. Before he left, he gave me
a gentle kiss on my cheek. They completely took me by surprise but I had no
time to say anything because he just ran out of my room. I put my hand up
to my face and smiled. The guys smiled too and then they said goodbye.

As days went by I became more and more desperate to get out of the
hospital. I felt like I wasn't doing anything productive. The doctor had
told me that I was almost ready to go home, as soon as he told me that, I
got very excited and I started making plans about what I was going to do.

First of all, I would go back to work so that my mind could be focused on
something else. Even though I had not seen Brian at all, I kept on thinking
about him and I couldn't get him neither out of my head nor my heart. I
never thought it would be that hard to get over him. I knew that I had to
and I wanted to, but I just couldn't find the way to do it, at least not
yet...

**********

well, that's' it for now, I hope that you enjoyed the chapter. Remember
that all the feedback is welcome and really appreciated.

jack_ga_2002@yahoo.com

Till the next one

Your friend

Jack

"Enjoy life and always be yourself"