Date: Sun, 27 May 2001 06:26:50 -0000
From: J-dot M <catsfan1@hotmail.com>
Subject: Angel's Wings Part 14

Angel's Wings (Part 14)
Written by JM

--- Da da da da da... what to write, what to write?  Hmmm, it's about
celebrities... yeah, that sounds good.  Two very moral celebrities too...
ooh yeah, that makes it better.  Let's see, what else... oh yeah, these two
male celebrities are together, but that has nothing to do with their actual
personal lives.  Ha ha, oh yeah, forgot this one... it's fiction ALL THE
WAY!  Is that it?  I think so... wait, no... please be 18 or older or have
your parents permission.  Parental Guidance is suggested.  Need some
popcorn?  Maybe a soda?  Got to have the Twizzlers... remember, 'Silence Is
Golden'!  Okay, let's move on to to the previews... ---

--- Rated PG-13: Hey, I'm back!  That's right and I thought I could stay
away.  No, I prayed I could stay away, but this is in my blood.  I've just
got to write.  Anyway, I'm glad to be back with another exciting verse in
the song of Brian and Justin's lives.  Please remember that these stories
are based on the romance created for Brian and Justin through 'Brian and
Justin' and 'Just Beginning'.  This is not called 'JC and Nick' or 'Lance's
Beginnings,' so please respect the fact that they will not get all the
attention in the world.  If you don't know by now, send all comments to:
catsfan1@hotmail.com  Thank you very much!  Enjoy the show... ---

-- I do realize that the program mentioned in this chapter was filmed in
March and aired on MTV in March, but because this is fiction, I can do what
I want.  So in this fictious reality, this program was done in the beginning
of April and airs in April on MTV.  Thanks for understanding. --

	--- Feature Presentation: Angel's Wings, Rated NC-17 ---

* Dedicated to the readers (Just to name a few that write me regularly):
Daniel, Ryan, Jim, Braxton, Gretchen, Eddie, Metra, Carrie, Manny, Stephen,
Annie, and ALL the others!  Sorry if I didn't name you but that doesn't mean
I don't love you or appreciate you because trust me, I LOVE ALL THE READERS!
*

		The scent of coffee filled his nostrils as he blew quickly over his
steaming cup of early afternoon coffee.  The morning was gorgeous, filled
with pinkish-orangy clouds and birds flying high above.  He had watched the
sunrise alone before he made a trip to a few radio stations, promoting his
group and informing fans that they were in town for three days, performing
their live concert on two of those days.  It had been business as usual that
morning and he had yet to speak with his husband or his son.  It seemed
everytime he called from his cellular phone, no one would answer from his
Orlando home.  'Probably out handling *NSYNC business,' he told himself,
walking down the hallway of his hotel, headed directly for his room for a
quick nap.  Entertaining fans in the lobby for a half-hour was difficult,
especially when he had no real reason to smile except when they pleaded or
when they complimented him on how good he looked with his husband and son.
'April 2nd... by April 6th, I'll be on my way home... I'll be home.  I'll be
in his arms.  I'll be kissing him constantly, tasting those smooth lips and
feeling his strong arms around my waist.' he told himself, perking up at the
thought.
		The tour was almost over and he felt more than ready to return to a normal
home-life for a few weeks.  He loved the notion of waking up in his
husband's arms again and feeding his son breakfast and taking him to the
nearby park and visting his in-laws once a week for a dinner or to just talk
and spend quality family moments together.  He'd love to see in his den with
his son sleep next to him while he talked and laughed with Joey and Britney,
even though he knew he wouldn't be able to laugh with them together.  And to
take a swim with his son and his husband for a few hours, to hold his
husband in the backyard while the dogs ran around and his son chased them.
Everything about it sounded good again.  Just his husband's name falling
from his lips during sex sounded wonderful.
		His eyes closed and he sighed, walking slower, dreading entering his room
alone without someone to call or someone to make him smile the way his
husband did.  Someone to bring out the real side of him, the cuddly one, the
adorable one, that one that walks on the clouds with nothing but God and
love guiding his every step.
		"You know, it's not wise to walk down the hallway carrying a cup of hot
coffee with your eyes closed." a voice spoke to him and sent his body and
mind into shock.  He had to rewind the words in his mind, the voice, the
slight accent, the brightness, and everything that filled the tone.  No.  It
wasn't possible, not at this time, not when he was just thinking about him.
		His eyes blinked open and he spoke slowly.  "Justin?" he asked cautiously,
squinting his eyes as he stared a little down the hall, right next to his
door, and it was true.  "Hey there Bri.  Miss me much?" Justin questioned,
his hands burried deep in his pockets as he leaned on the door with a goofy
smile that covered his face like liquid sunshine.  "Baby?" Brian asked
again, approaching Justin slowly, shivers gracing his body as he got closer.
  He couldn't believe Justin was here, right now, right before him and he
didn't really want to question why or how because he had Justin right there,
right where he needed him.
		Brian lifted his hand and ran it against Justin's cheek.  Real.  He was
real as can be.  Warm, soft, and undeniably adorable.  "Hmmm, I guess this
surprise was a bit much for ya, huh baby?" Justin asked, growing softer
under Brian's touch.  Brian spread his fingers and let them trace over
Justin's nose, his mouth and under his eyes.  "Yeah, but it's a good one."
Brian whispered back.
		Brian felt Justin's cheeks rise as he smiled wider for Brian.  He missed
it all so much, everything that was right there in his sight, under his
touch, within his breath, sharing his oxygen and sharing that funny feeling
stirring in his stomach.  "Do you want something to eat?  Do you want to go
out?  Do you want to go see the guys?  Wanna go swimming?" Brian shot out
his questions, his own smile flickering with playfullness and joy.  Justin
giggled softly, shaking his head and pulling back from Brian's curious hand.
  He could see the excitement in Brian's glassy blue eyes.  He wanted to do
everything with Justin and Justin knew it, but he didn't want to use up all
of his energy or waste a second without being able enjoy what he had.  He
wanted to enjoy his Brian.
		"I want to kiss you." Justin said with a low voice, pulling his hands out
of his pockets and opening his arms to Brian.  He waited until Brian took a
small step forward before lacing his arms around Brian's neck, feeling the
distance Brian tried to keep because of the cup of coffee in his hands.
Justin titled his head slightly and looked into those eyes of pure blue.
They were beautiful, gorgeous, loving, and so perfect.
		Justin ran his fingers over Brian's hair, arching an eyebrow with subtle
surprise.  "You cut your hair shorter?" Justin wondered, breaking their gaze
to stare at the hair as he ruffled it.  Brian gave him a small nod, still
fixating his eyes on Justin's magnificence.  "And it's blonder." Justin
noted, running his fingers through it with amazement.  "Yeah, AJ did that
for me a couple of nights ago.  I'm growing accustom to it." Brian responded
nonchalantly, rubbing a hand over Justin's shoulder.  He had to make sure
again.  He had to be sure Justin was real and right before him like he
wanted.
		"I like it." Justin smiled, still running his finger through it.  Brian
couldn't help but smile.  "What about your hair?  You keep cutting it,
don'cha?" Brian inquired, lifting his hand to run his fingers over the soft
but prickly hair.  "Yeah.  I think I like it better short." Justin replied,
his voice still soft and tantalizing.
		Brian thought that over.  Justin's hair short?  Always.  Never seeing
those golden-brown curls anymore?  Never being able to tug on them when he's
frustrated or worried?  Never running his fingers through their softness for
confidence and strength?  Never being able to brush his sweaty hands over
them during passionate, wet sex?  "I want my curls back." Brian demanded
quietly, pouting.  Justin laughed, his laugh sweet and sexy.  "You can't
have 'em." Justin replied within his laughter.  "I want my kiss." Justin
said frankly, rubbing Brian's shoulder.  Brian continued to pout.  "Trade?"
Brian offered, a smooth smile dimpling his cheeks.  "A kiss for my curls?"
Justin wondered, slipping his hand into the collar of Brian's shirt to rub
the skin of Brian's shoulder.
		Brian's eyes started to close at the feel of Justin's hand on his skin
again.  "No, I just want my kiss damn it." Justin sneered, leaving a small
peck on the tip of Brian's nose.  His lips drifted lower and he soon
captured his prize, taking in his husband's lower lip before locking his
full lips onto Brian's thin ones.
		"Mmmm." Brian hummed while kissing Justin, feeling his husband's slick
tongue lick at his teeth as his mouth opened slightly.  'This could get
rather friendly and I'm still holding his damn cup of coffee.' Brian
thought, tilting his head to give Justin greater access to his lips and
mouth.  He felt Justin's tongue massage his in the same motion Justin's hand
massaged his shoulder.  He moaned into the kiss as Justin's other hand held
his head, the kiss getting a little rougher, a little wetter, a little more
than Brian expected.  He couldn't deny it though.  It was real.  It was
Justin and it was what he wanted.
		Justin pulled back solemnly, raking his teeth over Brian's mouth lip with
a cunning smirk drawn across his lips.  "I missed that." Justin smiled,
wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.  Brian merely panted and nodded,
his body slightly numb.
		Justin snickered at his husband's stillness, rubbing a thumb over Brian's
lips.  "So is this a business or pleasure visit?" Brian asked, his voice
quiet but draped with a Southern accent.  Justin smiled, lowering his thumb
to rub over Brian's chin.  "Business... but I wouldn't mind a little
pleasure." Justin responded with a subtle lustful glimmer in his eyes.
Brian felt a smile spread across his lips.  "I think I can handle that,"
Brian chimed, grabbing Justin's wrist and lowering his hand to his chest.
Justin felt the heartbeat thump across his fingertips, the passion rippling
through Brian's body.  "But what's the business part?" Brian asked as Justin
watched his hand on Brian's chest.  Justin cleared his throat, rubbing at
Brian's chest through his shirt.  "Well, me, Chris, and JC are in town for
this MTV show they're doing.  It's a tribute to Janet Jackson called MTV
Icon.  At first we weren't going to show up here in Cali, we were just going
to tape a video and send it, but since Chris wanted to visit Meelah and JC
decided maybe he should check on Nick, I thought that..." Justin's words
trailed off as he he looked up, blush creeping into his cheeks.  He felt
Brian's steady stare on him, those blue eyes holding him safely.  "Well, I
haven't seen you or touched you or held you or kissed you in a little over
three weeks.  I couldn't do it anymore and it made it too perfect that you
guys were going to be in town the same day they were doing the taping for
the special.  I could use that as a business excuse to get away from Johnny
and all." Justin explained, his voice lowering with defeat.
		Brian laid a gentle kiss on Justin's cheek, rubbing his lips over the soft
skin.  "I missed you that much too baby." Brian whispered, pulling back to
look into those glittery blue eyes.  He felt Justin's arms wrap around his
waist and hold him close.  He placed another soft kiss on Justin's forehead,
rubbing his back with one hand.  "I want to go shopping now." Justin
whispered into Brian's ear as Brian pulled back.  Brian laughed, his soft
giggle sending flutters to Justin's heart.  "I guess I have to call Marc and
tell him we're going to Rodeo Drive then, huh?" Brian asked with a smile.
Justin nodded happily.  "I told Bastian that I'd bring him something back
from L.A." Justin chimed as Brian turned until they were side-by-side.
Brian arched an eyebrow curiously.  "So we're not going to build up your
closet this trip?" Brian asked teasingly, leading Justin down the hall.
Justin nudged him before shaking his head.  "No, just our son's and your's."
Justin grinned as they walked.  "Mine?" Brian questioned, turning his head
in Justin's direction.  Justin let out a low laugh, licking his lips
quickly.  "Oh yeah baby.  I saw you on MTV the other day and you weren't
dressed that hot." Justin joked as Brian led him down the hallway, his head
shaking with a low laughter.
		He had begged for just a little time away from everything.  He didn't want
to be a Backstreet Boy for four hours.  He wanted to sleep, cry, curse, and
be miserable in his dark hotel room until he had to come out for dinner.
Everyday felt like another day of pain and misery for him and all he wanted
was time to live in that misery.  No one knew about him crying on his bus at
night except for Brian.  He only let the others see his angered not, but not
saddened one.  'Because I'm Nick fucking Carter and I'm aloud to be a bitch
about things, but I can't be a little Mary Sue crying over my fucked up
marriage or my fucked up family or my life in general.' he told himself
daily.  His music was his escape, sometimes, but it seemed like every song
he was writing now was about him.  Sometimes they were happy, after a decent
phone call from his husband and other times they were recreations of a sad
tale in his life, one lived with his husband.
		Nothing went right for him and he was beginning to expect the pain.  He
was accepting that his mother would never accept his marriage or that his
husband always seemed to be with one of his old flames, whether it be the
ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, best friend or whomever.  Nothing fit.  It
never did and he let out a few more tears while listening to Destiny's Child
harmonize through his room in a soft melody, one that couldn't drownd out
the sounds of someone knocking at his door.

	It's over and done
	But the heartache lives on inside
	And who is the one you're clinging to
	Instead of me tonight?

	And where you are now? (Now that I need you)
	Tears on my pillow (Wherever you go, go)
	I'll cry me a river (That leads to your ocean)
	(You'll never see me fall apart)
	In the words of a broken heart

	It's just emotions taking me over
	Caught up in sorrow, lost in the song
	But if you don't come back, come home to me darlin'
	(Don't you know that there's no)
	Nobody left in this world to hold me tight
	(And don't you know there's no)
	Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight

		With clumsy steps, he made it to the door, but he merely leaned on it,
listening to the music while trying to rid his eyes of bitter tears.  He
knew his eyes were probably red and puffy and would shows signs of his
crying and he debated just walking away from the door and screaming at the
person knocking, but then another sure knock came and he felt it against his
shoulder.  "Who.. W-Who is it?" he asked lowly, his head up against the door
as he caught another tear.  There was no answer and he really didn't expect
one.  Someone cared enough to knock or maybe they didn't, but he couldn't
walk away now.  He wanted to.  He wanted to fall back down on his bed and
cry away the rest of these stubborn tears, but he couldn't.

	I'm there at your side
	Apart of all the things you are
	But you've got a part of someone else
	You've gotta go find your own shining star

	And where you are now? (Now that I need you)
	Tears on my pillow (Wherever you are)
	I'll cry me a river (That leads to your ocean)
	(You'll never see me fall apart)
	In the words of a broken heart

		He pulled his fingers through his deshelved, almost spikey, blonde hair
before laying the hand on the knob, turning it slowly and yanking the door
open.  He stood there, eyes adjusting the the light of the hall and mouth
slowly falling open.  This wasn't an angel, but he knew it had to be
God-sent.  He was right there.  Right when he needed him, he was right
there, watching a fearless tear slip down his cheek.  Those tears were for
him and him only.  Every emotion he thought was tangled in the strings of
his heart, leaving him weak with subtle joy.
		"I talked to Tim and he said you've been down for the past week and a
half.  He said you demanded to be alone until dinner." he whispered while
lifting his hand to wipe tears from his husband's face.  "Josh?" he asked as
the hand made contact with his face.  "Nicky, what's wrong?" JC asked his
husband, rubbing the tears away.  Nick couldn't speak.  There were too many
emotions, too much pain, too much joy and too much of everything that had
happened to him sizzling through his body.  He was caught up, caught up in
JC's eyes, his thick lips, his care.  "I can't do it anymore Josh... I can't
keep up with all of this guilt, this loneliness, this..." Nick stopped
himself.  He couldn't say that.  What would it mean if he did?  Would it
mean the end of the relationship?  Because if it did, Nick didn't want that.
		Arms wrapped around him, pulled him close while pushing him into the dark
of the room.  He felt a gentle kiss on the top of his head and security
surrounded him.  "You don't have to say it all right now Nicky." JC assured
him as he closed the door and held Nick.  Nick felt warm, he felt secure, he
felt loved by his husband for that brief moment as all of his emotions took
over and he cried, cried everything he had left in him onto JC's chest.

	It's just emotions taking me over
	Caught up in sorrow, lost in the song
	But if you don't come back, come home to me darlin'
	(Don't you know that there's no)
	Nobody left in this world to hold me tight
	(And don't you know there's no)
	Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight

		"Who's going to have the best dressed toddler in Orlando?" Justin crooned
out his question, giving Brian's hand a light squeeze.  Brian giggled
quietly, turning his head in Justin's direction as they walked down the long
sidewalks of Rodeo Drive.  "Uhm... I think you want me to say our son,
right?" Brian wondered, trying to surpress his laughter at the overly
happily grin on Justin's face.  "Duh." Justin responded, pulling the brim of
his hat down a little lower to remain unnoticeable to others walking past
them.  He rolled his eyes proudly, licking his bottom lip as Marc led the
way down the street.
		"I still want to go back to Tiffany's and get you that chain and charm."
Brian noted, scrunching his nose to fix his sunglasses.  The sun beamed a
glittery light on them as they walked through the semi-crowds, Justin
searching for the next shop with Marc guarding them.  "Baby, I don't want
you to spend that much on me." Justin replied, staring at the Guess shop
with a question in his eyes.  "But I want to spend that much on you." Brian
whined, hooking his fingers into the beltloop of Justin's jeans.  Justin
didn't reply this time.  Brian could feel Justin's mind had drifted to
something else and he found a small scowl on Justin's face as Justin stared
at something, at someone.  "What?  What are you looking at?" Brian asked,
giving a small tug to the back of Justin's jeans.
		Justin narrowed his eyes before cursing under his breath.  "Fuck, can't I
come here without having to deal with this press shit?  All I wanted was to
surprise my husband and go shopping." Justin muttered in pure anger, ducking
his head some as he felt the camera snap another picture of the two walking
together.  "Huh?" Brian squeaked out, glancing to the area Justin's eyes had
once been.  Sure enough, a man stood snapping pictures of the two walking.
He was a photographer, probably one for a tabloid or a local newspaper or
something.  It didn't matter.  He was still invading Justin and Brian's need
for privacy and still ruining their trip on Rodeo Drive.
		Brian skid an arm around Justin's waist, smiling against Justin's cheek as
he attempted to lay a kiss there.  "Let him enjoy it while he can babe.  The
only thing that matters to me is that I have my J-U-S-T-I-N." Brian
whispered, feeling Justin's cheek move slightly as he tried to smile.
		Justin wanted to be mad.  He wanted to be vindictive, angry, and he wanted
to seek revenge but he couldn't.  It was impossible to be that heated with
Brian speaking softly, with that candy-sweet Southern accent, into his ear
and his thumb rubbing the small of his back and those lips leaving quick
kisses on his cheek.  How could he even want to be mad?  Brian was too
strong for him.  Brian was too calm for him and being anywhere near that
calmness left him unable to attempt to be angry.
		"You suck." Justin sighed out, a foolish smile lacing his lips.  "Yes, I
do give good head, don't I?" Brian teased his husband, ushering him along
the sidewalk in attempt to keep the same pace as Marc.  Justin laughed
lowly, elbowing his husband in the ribs.  His husband did give good head,
incredible head.  The way his tongue curled around his penis and the way his
lips kissed his slit right before he swallowed a majority of the organ into
his mouth.  Justin got shivers thinking about it and maybe being watched by
others wasn't so good right now?  Not with his cock beginning to swell
uncomfortably in his boxer-briefs.
		She tapped the toe of her shoe on the ground while leaning on the counter
with crossed arms.  She couldn't remember the name Brian used most often
when checking into a hotel and she knew there was no way she would contact
anyone that would knew, except Justin.  But how would she contact Justin?
By cell phone?  He wasn't answering his.  'Call Brian's phone genius.' she
told herself, leaning off of the counter and reaching down toward her purse.
  She pushed falling strands of her hair behind her ear while unzipping her
purse to pull out her cell.  'Oh fuck, wait, didn't Brian change his cell
number?' she thought, sighing helplessly.  She turned her eyes on the
receptionist, squining at her because she knew the receptionist had a number
to contact Brian at but she wasn't giving it to her because the woman was
pretending to be a secret keeper, hiding information to get brownie points
from her boss.  "Stupid bitch." she muttered under her breath, turning to
face the doors, considering walking out even though this was the hotel she
would be staying at.
		"Britney?" a voice called to her and she hesitantly turned her head,
hoping that maybe her bodyguard would step in front of her to hide her from
any loud-mouthed, screaming wildly fans.  Her eyes caught Christina Aguilera
approaching her, a vintage ripped tee with a glittered photo of Billy Idol
on the front.  Her jeans hung onto her hips and a glitzy smile covered her
face.
		Britney found a smile to offer her friend as Christina strutted toward
her, long-flowing braids in Christina's hair.  It was a relief to see
Christina in a lobby filled with quick stares and glances.  "What's up
girl?" Britney asked, opening her arms for an embrace.  Christina gladly
accepted the hug, her grin enough to speak words of joy.  "Nothing much
girly.  I'm just here for that Janet Jackson show.  What about you?"
Christina replied, pulling back.  "I'm doing a movie out here and I got an
invitation to the show and I figured I'd go with Brian and Justin since
Justin said he was probably gonna go." Britney responded, leaning against
the counter again.  Christina nodded, tossing a few of her braids behind her
hair.  "Are you staying at this hotel?" Christina asked, glancing around as
others passed them by, a few giving them hard looks of disbelief.  Britney
nibbled her lower lip while nodding, self-conscious with all the eyes on
her.  "Good.  Me and Jorge are staying here too and now I've got my girl to
chill with too." Christina chimed, her smile still bright and cheery.  "Oh,
how is he?  Jorge?" Britney wondered, pushing hair behind her ear again.
"Still with me if that says much." Christina giggled and Britney couldn't
help but let out a small snicker.
		Britney suddenly felt less uncomfortable and more in the mood to smile.
She had Christina with her and it seemed to push away those clouds of
frustration.  "How's your guy?" Christina wondered, fiddling with one of her
braids while keeping her solid blue eyes on Britney.  Just one question and
all the happiness, the peace faded and Britney was caught once again in that
rain of frustration.  She couldn't pass it off or disguise it from
Christina.  It was too obvious, too clear for anyone to see.  "I broke up
with him on Valentine's Day." Britney said softly, a sorrowful sigh
following her words.  "Jesus, you and Joey?  Through?  That doesn't seem
right.  Hasn't it been like two years?" Christina asked, completely thrown
by the revelation.  Britney nodded, lowering her head to hide her dismay and
sadness.
		Christina laid a hand on Britney's shoulder, hoping her friend would find
comfort in her.  "I'm sorry to hear that Brit'." Christina said softly.
Britney forced herself to smile, looking up again.  "It's been almost two
months now.  I'm fine." Britney assured her, her almond eyes telling a
different story.  Christina ignored what she knew was truth and smiled for
Britney.  Britney didn't need to talk about it anymore and relive it
anymore.  She just needed to forget it and Christina knew that feeling
completely.
		"Man, I'm so glad you're here.  I mean, outside of Jorge, I thought I'd be
stuck talking to stupid people like Usher or hear the holy-talk from Jessica
Simpson about why we should all stay virgins until marriage." Christina
teased, sliding an arm around Britney's shoulders.  "What a concept, right?"
Britney giggled, pushing away thoughts of Joey to return to a world of
freedom.  "Yeah.  Plus I didn't want to talk to all of those stupid
actresses either." Christina remarked, leaning back against the counter with
Britney.  Britney's eyes peered at the door and her eyebrow arched.  She had
almost missed what Christina said as she stared at the woman walking through
the lobby, her head high and her hair pulled up into a tight bun.  "Like
Leighanne fucking Wallace." Britney hissed out, her eyes following the
woman.
		Christina laughed quietly, overlooking what Britney saw.  "Yeah, like that
bitch Leighanne." Christina agreed, her head turning in Britney's direction.
  She lowered her laughter when seeing Britney's intense expression,
Britney's eyes locked on something other than Christina.  Christina quickly
turned her head and found what Britney found so interesting.  Leighanne
Wallace.  The bitch Leighanne Wallace.  She was walking through the lobby in
a slow, actress-like waltz, moving straight for the stairs to head upward.
"What the fuck?" Christina grumbled, slipping her arm off of Britney's
shoulders.  "I don't know Chrissy, but I think we should find out." Britney
whispered back, keeping her eyes on Leighanne.  Christina nodded briskly,
her own eyes keeping a strict stare on Leighanne.
		And they followed her.  They followed her all the way up to the eighth
floor and they stayed more than enough steps behind to remain unnoticed.
They even dared to peek around the corner of the hall to watch her knock at
a door for a few moments, her arms crossed when the door finally opened.
"This bitch is up to something." Christina hissed, squaring her eyes as she
watched Leighanne tap her foot across the ground, her hips shaking and her
head centered.  Britney nodded her head slowly, still keeping her focus on
Leighanne.
		"You know, I don't like having to come almost half across town because
that little shit wants to make an unexpected visit to L.A.  Especially when
our little friend is going through some kind of drama trip." Leighanne said,
her voice curt and less-than-thrilled with standing in the hallway of the
hotel.  "I'm sorry Leigh, but it's imperative that you be here." a deep
voice said, leaving a questionable look on Britney's face.
		That voice, so familiar to her, couldn't have been true.  She didn't want
to look down there and see his face, but she did, the second he peeked out
into the hall, a grim look on his face as he stared at Leighanne.
		"Has our little friend done anything stupid yet, Kev'?" Leighanne asked,
unfolding her arms to rest them on her hips.  Kevin shook his head, taking a
small, fearful step into the hall.  He was close to Leighanne.  Leighanne
Wallace.  The same Leighanne that tried countless time to breakup his
cousin's marriage, the woman who had ruined his own relationship with Nikki,
and his ally through everything.  "I just know he's going to break soon.
Especially with him here to put the pressure on." Kevin replied, his voice
low but still distinguishable.
		"What the fuck are they talking about?  Brian?  Justin?" Christina began
to ask in a tight voice.  Britney quickly threw a hand over Christina's
mouth, muffling any words she spoke.  She didn't want to be caught.  She
didn't want to have to confront Leighanne, not yet.  She had to know more
and she had to find assistance outside of Christina.  "Just wait Chrissy..."
Britney whispered, still watching Leighanne and Kevin talk, her ears perked
up and her eyes lowered.
		"Oh, our little friend won't break if he knows what's good for him.  He
knows what it'll cost him and he knows what he'll have afterward.  We don't
have to worry about him." Leighanne said with assurance running through her
voice.  "What about the other guy?  He's here and you know that pain in the
ass is going to figure something out." Kevin noted, leaning against his
door.  Leighanne giggled evily.  It was a sound that sent a feiry shiver up
Britney's arms and left Christina growling lowly.  "That piece of shit is
the least of my concerns.  What is he?  Nothing.  This is going to work and
after tomorrow, we'll be able to continue with what we've been doing.  Our
little friend will be happy, you'll be happy, and trust me, once it all
comes together, I'll be more than happy wearing the name I should be
wearing." Leighanne boasted.  She gave Kevin a light shove and skid by him,
slipping into his room and then the door shut.
		Britney stood there, a face of shock and discouragement while Christina
kicked a nearby wall, her fists slammed shut.  "That bitch, that bitch, that
bitch, that bitch." Christina grumbled, beating her hands on the wall like a
child.  Britney barely swallowed, her mind trying its best to solve what she
knew she might not be able to solve.  'Not in time to stop whatever these
two have planned.' Britney thought, leaning against the wall Christina
pounded on.  The pounding on the wall mimicked the pounding in her heart and
she lowered her head, discouraged and silent.
		He had never been so confined.  He used to know what it meant to be free
of troubles, problems that plagued the heart.  Now?  He didn't know up from
down or in from out or this from that.  It was his own fault.  He had
persued his best friend for a more intimate relationship and he had let his
feelings for the woman that taught him love confuse him, but he never
expected to have these feelings tie in with his love for his husband.  And
what about his ex-fiancé?  Were the feelings not there too?  Didn't those
feelings had it hardest for him?  Seeing him with another man, seeing those
green eyes stare at someone else with a glimmer of love that used to shine
brightest for him?
		It was sickening, terrofying, overwhelming, yet fascinating at the same
time.  How could this one man feel so bound to four people?  Maybe it was
his need to reclaim their love, their trust, their bodies?  It didn't matter
much once he looked at it through sober, awakened eyes.  It was all shit and
he was the asshole sitting in it.  The perfect situation for a perfect
excuse to seek out a perfect answer to a question he just didn't comprehend.
		"Josh?" his husband called out in a sobbing voice.  JC glanced down,
running nimble finger through his husband's hair, the thoughts still leaving
clawmarks on the door to his mind.  "Yes Nicky?" he replied softly, his
upper body resting against the headboard of Nick's bed, the room still caped
in a sheet of darkness and shadows.  Nick was curled up to his body, crying
occasionally over something JC didn't know about.  But at the moment, JC
didn't really want to know.  His time was short and he couldn't wait.
Whatever kept tears falling from Nick's eyes was just another added trouble
to his life and he refused to accept that trouble.
		"Are you still going to that Janet Jackson thing?" Nick asked and JC had
forgotten he had even mentioned it to Nick.  They had said little to nothing
in the few hours JC had been in Nick's room.  Just soft music, a few sobs
from Nick and JC humming along with the stereo.  "No, Nicky, I'm not going
to go.  I'm not going to leave you here alone baby." JC replied and his
voice could not be more sincere.  He hungered for someone to want him to be
somewhere, someone to want him to be close.  He felt Nick grab his hand and
pull it close to his face, Nick's lips laying a promising kiss on JC's palm.
  Could it have been hope?  A sign?  Something to help him cope with this
incessant sufferage?  Just possibly.
		The smile curling across his face sparkled with that possible hope and he
rubbed his index finger over Nick's round nose, touching it, loving it and
remembering everything about it.  "I love you honey." Nick whispered,
cuddling closer to JC's legs.  It killed and hurt just a little to hear the
words repeated again.  He loved Nick too and it cost him too much to fight
that love, but it was like a pocketfull of pennies compared to what he
wanted from Justin or Nikki or Lance or someone.
		Justin flipped through another channel on the TV and settled on MTV, his
eyes watching Eminem contently on a rerun of some show.  He bobbed his head
along to the low music from the television and he didn't bother turning it
up.  He had already flipped through all of the hotel stations at least
twice, even catching the already-seen movies playing and the cheap pornos
that never satisfied him like Brian did.
		Out the corner of his eye, he watched Brian push open the bathroom door,
the sounds of the water flushing down the toilet causing him to keep his
eyes forward.  He discreetly watched Brian towel off his hands, his shirt
still untucked from his khaki's and his hair looked a little wet as if Brian
had run slippery wet fingers through it.  He licked his lips
unintentionally.  Emineim was no longer keeping his attention, but he kept
his head straight, hoping to fool his husband long enough to see Brian tuck
his button-down shirt back in so he just might catch a quick glimpse of
Brian's crotch and then he knew he'd be hard.
		"What'cha watchin'?" Brian asked, his country twang flowing easily with
his words.  Justin sighed tiredly, finally letting his eyes find the screen
again.  "MTV." he replied dully, holding the remote up.  Brian made a
humming noise and Justin had to roll his eyes.  "Looks kind of stupid to me
Just." Brian said, passing by the television to move toward his luggage.
"What are you talking about?  Eminem's a hottie." Justin declared boldly,
sitting up in the bed.  He smiled wickedly when catching Brian stare back, a
furrowed brow and tight lips greeted him.  "Excuse me?" Brian asked, his
eyes squinting slightly.  "White boy got it goin' on." Justin crooned,
licking his lips slyly.  He kept his eyes on Eminem, taunting Brian by
quickly adjusting himself and keeping his hand there, laying right over his
crotch where there was no erection buildin, but he faked it to keep Brian's
attention.  "Oh he is, is he?" Brian asked, his voice tight and Justin saw
Brian's arms folded over his chest.  "Yep." Justin replied chipperly and he
could tell he had annoyed Brian.
		"Gimme that remote." Brian demanded, face scrunched up as he ushered
toward the bed.  Justin giggled lightly, holding the remote out in the
opposite direction.  "No." he responded, laughing loudly as he felt Brian
place a knee on the bed, reaching out for the remote.  "Justin, give it
here." Brian grumbled and Justin scooted away quickly.  He felt Brian's hand
wrap around his arm, holding him still as he laughed.  "No!" he shouted back
with laughter.  Brian couldn't fight a smile as Justin's face heated up with
the laughter, his eyes tightly shut and his lips pulled apart.  "Give me the
damn remote Justin." Brian growled, a snicker breaking through his words.
Justin continued to laugh, shaking his head while keeping the remote at a
distance.
		Brian grinned evily as he began to tickle his husband, hoping Justin would
eventually drop the remote and give into him.  "Stop!  Stop it Bri, baby,
stop.  Please... I'm gonna pee on myself!" Justin laughed out, tears
creeping out of the tight corners of his eyes.  "Either give up the remote
or tell the hotel while my sheets smell like urine." Brian said, reaching
just below Justin's abdomen where he was most ticklish.
		Justin couldn't stop the laughter or the kicking.  Brian was reaching his
most ticklish points and he hated that Brian knew them.  "I'd rather pee in
your mouth than give in!" Justin hollered out, hilarity still consuming him.
  Brian found the words too amusing to continue.  He dropped his hands to
Justin's side, snickering lowly as Justin spat out his last fit of giggles.
		"Hmmm, I bet you would've peed in my mouth." Brian said, a sweet smile on
his lips as he hovered over Justin, pulling the remote from his husband's
fingers and clicking off the TV.  Justin nodded with another small laugh.
"But if I did that, you wouldn't come to this Janet Jackson thing with me."
Justin replied, his face finally beginning to turn a shade lighter.  He
cupped Brian's waist in his hands, smiling foolishly up at his husband.
"Uhm, I never said I was going." Brian replied frankly, his light blue eyes
staring directly into Justin's.
		A tight pout bubbled over Justin's glossy reddish-pink lips.  "Why not?"
Justin whined, wrinkling Brian's shirt between his long fingers.  Brian
sighed, rocking to the side in attempts to get off of his husband.  "I just
don't feel like going to some industry thing and mingling with all of those
actors and actresses, pretending that I liked their movies or music or
whatever." Brian replied.  Justin's grip tightened on his shirt and he had
nowhere to go.  Justin wasn't going to let him get up because Justin wanted
Brian to see the pout on his face.  Brian hated that.  "But you're going
with me." Justin cheered, tugging Brian down.  Brian sighed again, brushing
a hand over Justin's hand while shaking his head.  "Doesn't mean I won't
have to schmooze while the press hounds you.  Plus we'll be there with Chris
and JC too and I don't feel like doing that." Brian said, his voice dry and
filled with dullness.
		Justin scrunched up his face, trying to lick away his pout to bring joy
back to Brian.  "Please, Brian, for me?  It's something I want to do.  Think
about all the times we've listened to a Janet Jackson song or kissed to one,
danced to one and even made love to one.  Her music is special to me and I
think its had its special moments in our relationship too." Justin said, his
voice softer but still loaded with loving pleas.
		From one lover to another, they could see those memories in each other's
eyes, the time they made love while 'Antyime, Anyplace' played and when they
danced to 'Let's Wait Awhile.'  Brian sucked in his lower lip, hoping to
stay strong while looking into those aquamarine oceans of care and want.  He
felt one of Justin's hands unfastened from his shirt and slide down over the
sheets, pulling up something from under them and then the sounds of a soft,
China-like melody entered the hotel room, breaking through the silence to
weave a feel of sensuality around the two.
		Brian heard the thug when Justin dropped the object and the hand found the
back of his head, pulling him down even more until their noses touched.
Justin's long fingers combed through his short hair, ruffling it as they
stared at each other, the feeling of love ringing forever through their
eyes.  "Please..." Justin whispered, tilting his head and slowly closing his
eyes, drawing Brian's head closer until their lips met and Brian
instinctively opened his mouth, kissing his husband with tender caresses.
He breathed in sharply, the warmth of those lips eliciting shivers from his
feet to his head.  "Please baby," Justin repeated through a kiss.  Brian
felt Justin's tongue lick along the inside of his bottom lip and then it was
licking the roof of his mouth.  Brian's tongue met Justin's, forcing a moan
to echo from Brian's mouth to Justin's.

	Ya da da da, yeah yeah
	La da da, ooh
	Ah, ah, ah, ah

	The energy I see
	The silence that you speak
	The lust within my dreams
	And what it says to me
	This full heart of mine
	You just can't empty

	So come lay with me
	China love
	How pleasent life will be
	China love
	As the sun retires
	Our love will transpire
	Make love to me
	China love

		Brian couldn't believe that Justin was sucking on his tongue.  He couldn't
believe that Justin was unbuttoning his shirt with one hand while unzipping
his jeans with the other.  When he felt Justin arch his back, he couldn't
believe how wonderful it felt to feel that concealed erection brushing his
own.  He couldn't believe how sweet Justin's mouth tasted and just the feel
of his own hand brushing down the zipper of Justin's jeans heated his body.
		Brian struggled with the jeans tangled around his feet, but he continued
to move his hands over his husband's body.  He had already removed Justin's
shirt and his hand was in Justins unzipped jeans, cupping Jusitn's balls
through his boxer-briefs.  "God..." Brian panted as Justin sucked on his
neck.  Brian pressed his body down on Justin's, arching his back slightly to
feel that sweet erection bump against Justin's stomach.  He ran a shaky hand
over Justin's hair, his eyes batting open when he felt Justin kicking off
both of their jeans.  "Mmmm, baby, oh Lord... oh my... shit..." Brian
moaned, his eyes squinting shut again as Justin jacked him off through his
boxers.  Suddenly, the stimulation had overtaken him.  The unexpected
sensations were swallowing him and all Brian could think of was sex and
Justin and Justin and sex and the two together in a beautiful painting of
passion.
		Justin skimmed Brian's open shirt off of his shoulders and slid it down
Brian's arms, feeling the rip muscles as his fingers moved.  Justin was like
water against Brian's skin, moving silkly with no intent of just falling
away.  He sucked on Brian's skin like it was oxygen, breathing in Brian's
musk and his sweet cologne.  Brian's erection was hard like an oyster, but
Justin knew there was softness inside, a sweet pearl waiting to be captured
by Justin.  Brian was Justin's everything and Justin had no plans to let him
move away.

	I see the sunshine
	When I look into your eyes
	They speak of worlds gone by
	We loved another time
	My heart was empty
	'Til you came to be

	(Baby, come inside of me) So come lay with me
	(China love) China love
	(China love) How pleasent life will be
	China love (China love)
	As the sun retires
	Our love will transpire
	Make love to me
	China love

		"I.. I... oh, God, please..." Brian panted out, shivering with every
movement of Justin's pelvis.  He brushed his lips over Justin's briefly, his
weakness leaving him unable to secure his lips to Justin's.  He felt Justin
leave a sweet kiss on the tip of his nose and that was enough for him.  He
tugged at Justin's nipples through Justin's wifebeater, laying his forehead
against Justin's, trying to stare at Justin through half-open eyes.
"Beanie... Bean..." Brian grunted, his lips falling open as Justin pressed
his hands down on Brian's ass, pressing their erections together through
thin material.  "Baby, please..." Justin pleaded, tilting his head again.
Brian fell into the kiss, his lips crushing against Justin's.
		Brian could hear the song fading from the speakers and Justin pulling
back.  He caught his last few kisses from those sweet lips before letting
Justin relax on the pillow.  He relaxed on top of Justin, his eyes still
half-open and his erection still throbbing against Justin's.  "You really
want me to go, huh?" Brian asked in a low voice.  Justin crept his hand over
Justin's back, massaging the tender flesh as he moved.  "Yes baby." Justin
replied in a husky voice.  He sucked in his lower lip, his face a pillar of
innocence.
		Justin felt the coolness of Brian's wedding ring rub over his cheek as
Brian pet him.  He leaned his head into the touch, closing his eyes and
smiling.  "All right, I'll go JuJu." Brian whispered into Justin's ear
before kissing it.  He relaxed under Justin's smooth touch and listened to
his breathing, hoping to find a small amount of rest in Justin's strong
arms.
		He thought he could get a little rest in his husband's arms.  Maybe just
sleep a little, dream a little.  All he wanted was to relax in those strong
arms, with that comforting hand sliding up and down the small of his back.
He couldn't have that.  Any of it.  As soon as he was calm, relaxed, ready
to fall asleep in those loving arms, the yelling came.  The shouting came.
The hateful words and argumental voice entered the hallway and it wakened
him, wakened his husband and destroyed all of the peace they once had.
		"Are they still at it?" Justin asked softly, brushing his hand over
Brian's shoulderblade.  Brian sighed, pressing his forehead to Justin's
chest.  'Why?  Why do they have to do this?  Why right now when he's holding
me and he wants to lay here with me and he's not even thinking about getting
up for the Janet Jackson show or contacting Chris or JC?' Brian thought.  He
furrowed his brow as he felt Justin move under him, shifting to get up.  He
knew he'd have to get up too.  He couldn't lay there without Justin.  He
wouldn't be able to sleep without him right there, holding him, kissing his
forehead and whispering those adorable words of love and kindness into his
ear.  "Fuck." he muttered and he lifted his body from Justin's, scooted to
the end of the bed and they both stood.  They both walked to the door and
Brian reluctantly opened it, letting the arguing echo into the room.
		"I can't believe you'd act like that.  Especially at a magazine
photoshoot." Amanda barked at her husband, her fists gripped shut and her
eyes squared.  "I can't even believe I did that stupid shit.  It's not like
I care what they write in the article or what picture they use." AJ
grumbled, feet from his wife, in the middle of the hotel hallway, with an
exhausted and angered expression ruling his face.  "Oh, that's right,
because the article was more about me than you.  Lord knows that we wouldn't
want to put any attention on the little ol' housewife." Amanda said
sarcastically.  AJ threw his hands up, frustrated with the argument.  How
many times had he done this in a month?  Almost two months?  He couldn't
count and he couldn't figure out why he never ended it.  Why did he
continue?  They were separated and had yet to reconcile the marriage.
'Maybe that's it... maybe it's not meant to be.' he thought to himself,
scratching the back of his neck while holding his head down.
		With the eyes of the others on him, he knew he had to reply to her last
remark but he feared what his words might do.  "You can't be a housewife if
we don't even stay in the same fucking house anymore Amanda.  All you are
now is a singer... not the Panda I married over a year ago." AJ hissed,
dropping his hands to his side while peering at her.
		That was enough.  It was all he really had to say to cause Amanda to lose
a want to argue, to be around AJ.  She no longer had a reason to utter
anything.  She only had small, prickling tears developing in her eyes and
that was enough.  "I really wish Amaiya was here to hear what you say Alex.
It's always good to know... that my husband doesn't even see me as his wife
anymore." Amanda stuttered out, her voice choked by a sob as she spoke.
		The silence continued in the hall as Amanda wiped her tears and walked
away.  The others stood in a deaf stillness as AJ looked around, his fists
balled and his eyes squinted.  He wanted to swear at all of them, curse them
for being in the hallway to hear their words, but he didn't.  He just walked
away in the sopposite direction, probably headed to the bar, outside to
smoke a cigarette, the nearest phone to call his mother.  Anywhere but that
hallway with eyes on him.  Anyplace by under the scrutiny of the others.
		JC scratched the back of his head, brushing his fingers through his thick
hair.  'That could be me.  I could be like that if I'm not careful.  I could
be married right now and maybe that's not where I'm supposed to be?  Maybe
Nick isn't meant to be Nick Chasez?' JC thought, sighing as he leaned in the
doorway of Nick's room, watching the others slip back into their rooms.  He
licked his lips cautiously, opting to escape the thoughts and that dark room
for just a few minutes.
		His footsteps were light down the hallway, his bare feet brushing over the
smooth carpeted floor.  His blue eyes watched the floor, thinking of the
steps he had taken, the roads he had walked.  'What more is there?  What
more isn't there?' he thought, still running his nimble fingers through his
hair.  There was more and he knew it.  There was Nick, his husband, once his
dream.  There was Nikki his first love, his first anything when it came to
his heart.  Still, there was Justin, once his best friend, the only man to
touch him in a way that was unforgettable.  And Lance.  There was always
Lance.  There was always that love that burned in his heart for Lance.  The
man that took his virginity, that showed him the rainbow in any sky.  There
was Lance, but who was worth more?
		JC felt another body colide with his, the sudden impact catching him off
balance.  He stumbled back with confusion and his eyes immediately lifted to
find out who he had bumped into.  "I'm sor..." JC stopped mid-word.  The
word never finished.  He stared into a pair of pastel blue eyes, ones that
belonged to Brian Littrell.  JC stood there, staring, for a moment.  He
wasn't going to apologize.  In fact, he wasn't going to say much at all.
There wasn't anything to say to the man that held Justin's heart.
		JC glanced at Brian's attire, the open button-down shirt revealing Brian's
chest and the boxers clinging loosely to Brian's legs.  He could see the
almost curly downy hairs on Brian's upper thigh, the boxers barely covering
them.  Brian was barefoot, his hair was slightly dishelved, while his right
hand held a bucket of ice.  Brian's left hand held a can of Sprite and JC
knew it had to be for Justin.  But JC's eyes lost focus of the can when
seeing the glimmer of the light glistening off of Brian's gold wedding band.
  It was beautiful and untainted, something JC's ring wasn't.  It held
meaning just like the love Brian held for Justin.  JC knew all of that.  He
knew that it ran deeper than the outer expression.  It was invading.  It was
a love that possed the whole body and left it unwilling to do anything but
adore another person.  JC despised it.
		JC hated that Brian wouldn't say anything to him.  No apology or greeting
or even vile words.  Brian just stood there, waiting.  Was he trying to
figure JC out?  JC hoped not.  He hoped that Brian would say something to
provoke him.  Anything to start an argument, to bring out the bad Brian, the
Brian Justin didn't love you.  Maybe the alcoholic Brian that haunted Justin
sometimes.  That's all JC wanted.  Just something.
		"Baby?  What's taking you so long?" JC heard Justin's voice enter the
atmosphere.  He spied Justin walk near them and then lace his arms around
Brian's neck, pulling him close.  JC sighed, his brow wrinkling
disturbingly.  Justin was dressed only in a pair of midnight blue boxers and
a tight wifebeater, all of his mucles revealed.  JC despised Justin being
that close to Brian, his arms around Brian's neck, his head resting against
Brian's with Brian's hip pressed against Justin's crotch and Justin's right
foot brushing over Brian's.
		JC cleared his throat and took a step back.  He felt Justin's questioning
blue eyes on him.  He offered a dimunitive smirk, a frown still pulling on
his heart.  "Oh, hey there Josh." Justin said, his voice dropping an octive.
  JC nodded in his direction, slipping his hands into his vintage jeans.
Where were his hopes now?  His aspirations?  His need to make Justin move
away from Brian?  "I'm not going to the MTV thing." JC muttered out, feeling
foolish for only being able to speak those words.  He watched Justin's
eyebrows arch and send another questioning look toward him.  "You're not?"
Justin questioned.  JC only shook his head, still plastering that
counterfeit smile on his thick lips.  He held back a sigh when watching
Justin nimble his lower lip.  He saw the brief worry cross Justin's face and
he wanted to sink into the pain of his heart, that same echoing song calling
him to step into the shadows.
		"Okay, it's your choice." Justin finally said, letting his eyes return to
Brian again.  He ran a slow hand over Brian's hair, smiling at his husband's
calmness.  "Come on baby, let's go back to the room." Justin suggested.
Brian nodded, his expression still the same, unchanged.  "We'll catch you
later Josh." Justin said quickly, hooking his arms around Brian's right arm
and pulling him back toward their room.  "Yeah..." JC whispered, nodding at
them with a want to stop them and cry, reveal his feelings for the love he
knew he needed.  But he didn't and somewhere, he knew he couldn't.
		Lips tasted, fingers felt, bodies caressed, and moans reverberated.  Time
passed like soft moving wind and they relaxed in the darkness, making out
without worry or concern.  JC trailed his fingers down Nick's exposed
stomach, feeling the slight pudginess and then the muscle that rounded out
Nick's tummy.  He played with Nick's body like a piano, testing each key and
trying to find the melody that would make Nick sing.  He had the tune.  It
was love.  He wanted to reach the surface and let passion enclose them in
worlds they hadn't been in for months.
		"Mmmm, baby, yes... oh God, please take off your pants." Nick whispered
with a husky voice, his own fingers trailing down JC's naked back.  JC knew
to keep partially clothed.  He didn't want this to lead to sex and then
sleep and then sex again.  He wanted to kiss Nick as long as he could kiss
Nick and touch him without fucking him.  Making love was something he missed
and he needed to reach that field of pleasure again.  "Just relax Nicky...
let it happen." JC instructed, pushing down Nick's sweatpants with a careful
hand.  His response was a desperate, rolling groan that sent a shudder
throughout his body.
		The music carrying them higher into their passion controlled the speed of
their touches.  It was a haunting melody but too true to their situation.
Nick was JC's lover and at times, Nick was all that JC wanted to think of.
They fit together, whether in bed or in life, they carried the same torch
for it.

	I love you
	I love you, I love you

	Baby I love you, you are my life
	My happiest moments weren't complete if you weren't by my side
	You're my relation and connection to the sun
	With you next to me, there's no darkness I can't overcome

	You are my raindrops, I am the seed
	With you and God, Who's my sunlight
	I'm blooming, grown so beautifully
	Baby I'm so proud, proud to be your girl
	You make the confusion go all away from this cold and misty world

		JC's lips tasted the skin of Nick's lower neck, dribbling toward Nick's
collarbone.  He felt Nick shift a knee and press it against his crotch,
rubbing roughly to entice even louder moans from JC's lips.  "Fuck, mmm,
don't stop doing that..." JC grunted, gripping at Nick's shoulders.  He
panted hard, his breath bathing Nick's chin with heat.  "Let me see it...
please, let me see your dick..." Nick pleaded, his fingertips slipping into
the back of JC's jeans, brushing against the top of JC's curved ass.  "Kiss
me first..." JC requested, his eyes flickering open to look up at Nick.  He
watched Nick dip his head and soon he felt those succulent red lips pressing
against his.

	I am in love with you (In love)
	You set me free
	I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
	Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (In love)
	I'll never leave
	Just, just keep loving me
	The way I love you loving me

	Cause I am in love with you (In love)
	You set me free
	I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
	Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (In love)
	I'll never leave
	Just keep loving me
	The way I love you loving me

		JC panted even harder as Nick pulled back from the kiss, falling back
against the mattress with a thud.  "God, tell me you love being with me...
please say you love being my husband..." Nick pleaded.  JC could hear tears
in Nick's voice.  He strung his fingers through Nick's hair before kissing
Nick's neck.  "Nicky, I love you.  Sweetie, I know it's been hard, for both
of us, but being your husband has meant a lot to me.  Knowing that you're
Nickolas Gene Chasez makes me smile." JC replied, trailing kisses up Nick's
neck.
		Nick sniffled quietly, blinking back tears as JC began to kiss on his
lips.  "You don't want to leave me, do you?" Nick asked, rubbing the small
of JC's back.  "Leave you?" JC wondered, pecking Nick's cheek.  Nick nodded,
grinding his body to JC's in hopes of keeping JC aroused.  "I mean, if I did
something stupid, something that hurt you... please say you don't want to
leave me." Nick begged, closing his eyes before JC could see bitter tears.
He felt JC kiss his forehead and brush his sweaty hair back.  "I don't.
I've been hurt by plenty of people babe.  You're my husband though and we
have to learn to work things out." JC told him, rubbing his thumb over
Nick's cheek.  Nick batted his eyes open again and smiled toward JC, loving
what he heard and believing in what he saw.

	And I know you love me, love me for who I am
	Cause years before I became who I am
	Baby you were my man
	No, it ain't easy, easy loving me
	But I appreciate the love and dedication from you to me

		"You do believe in us, right Nicky?" JC inquired, dragging his lips over
Nick's chin.  Nick moaned quietly, his body shaking as JC's touches became
more aggressive.  "Yes, oh yes baby." Nick groaned, tilting his head back.
"You're my baby Nick." JC whispered, palming Nick's swollen cock through his
briefs.  Nick chewed his lower lip and sighed, listening to every word with
faith.  Maybe he could survive?  He didn't need to accept this depression.
He knew that JC wouldn't have been with him this long if the marriage wasn't
meant to last.  Even if he did say the words, tell JC the truth, let him
know what really happened, he felt that deep inside JC would accept it, stay
with him.  It couldn't be that bad because if JC loved him, he'd stay.

	Every time I see your face, my heart smiles
	Every time it feels so good, it hurts sometimes
	Created in this world to love
	To hold, to feel, to breathe
	To live you
	Dangerously in love

	I am in love with you (In love)
	You set me free
	I can't do this thing called life without you here with me
	Cause I'm dangerously in love with you (In love)
	I'll never leave
	Just, just keep loving me
	The way I love you loving me

		"Okay, so we're like rolling in different limos, right?" Christina asked,
looking at the others with question.  Her deeper-than-blue eyes glanced at
her boyfriend Jorge and then Britney, then Chris and then Brian and then
Justin.  They all nodded, glancing around the lobby as they got a few eyes
from guests at the hotel.  "We can't let the world know we actually hang out
together." Britney joked, pushing pieces of her hair back.  "Yeah, it's bad
enough I have to be seen hanging out with Brian and Justin, but Pop's two
blonde sex-pots too?  Oh, that would be bad." Chris teased, a serious
expression pressed into his face while humor lingered in his eyes.
Christina and Britney both twisted their heads while firmly pressing their
hands on their hips.  They pursed their lips and rolled their eyes
immediately as Justin, Brian and Jorge laughed at Chris' comment.
"Any-fucking-ever." Britney grumbled with her slick country accent.
		"Now this is where I draw the line." Christina hissed out, her face
tightening up with a sour expression.  The laughter began to die down and
eyes flocked to Christina.  "Okay, geez, I'm sorry.  I was just kidding."
Chris sighed out, leaning against the wall with a meek expression.  "Not you
Chris." Christina mumured, crossing her arms below her chest.  She felt her
boyfriend's soft hands on her shoulders, rubbing them in a tender manner.
"What's wrong Chrissy?" Jorge asked as his girlfriend stayed stiff under his
touch.  Christina shook her head, the anger raging through her eyes directed
at one person.  "Britney." she hissed through gritted teeth.  It was evident
that a secret was alive between Britney and Christina, one that left
Christina angry and kept her staring at something.
		Britney cleared her throat quietly, turning slightly, trying to keep her
eyes away from the scene that Christina stared at.  "I don't really think
it's our business Chrissy." Britney said, her voice lowered to keep the
secrecy alive.  Chris glanced at Christina and then Britney, his face bleek
and confused.  "I think it is our business when Brian's coniving,
dirty-handed, bitch of an ex-girlfriend is standing over there talking with
Nick and Kevin and it looks to me as if it's about something serious."
Christina grumbled loud enough for the others to hear and their eyes
automatically fell to where Christina looked.
		In a corner of the lobby sat Leighanne, Kevin, and Nick.  Nick held his
chin in his hands, a depressed and stressed look on his face while Kevin and
Leighanne 'talked' to him.  Kevin's hand rested on Nick's shoulder, rubbing
it, trying to coach him into something while Leighanne's expression screamed
control.
		"What the..." Brian's mouth was quickly covered by Justin's hand, his
husband pulling him back into a controlling embrace.  "Trust me Brian, we're
all thinking the same thing." Chris said calmly, crossing his arms and
peering at the three.  "She's plotting something, I just know it." Christina
murmured, still stiff and lifeless under Jorge's touch.  "Doesn't matter
because she's talking to Nick.  It could only have to do with his marriage
to JC." Britney insisted, adjusting her purse on her shoulder.  She didn't
bother to look at the three.  She stared at Justin, the way he held Brian in
his arms, kissed the back of his head and kept him silent and calm.  She
sighed, ducking her head, wishing it was that easy for her.  "That's what
you think Britney.  You forget that Nick was in love with me or that Nick
still wants revenge against Justin or that Nick is connected to more than
just JC.  And my cousin's there too.  He doesn't give a shit about JC."
Brian reminded her, his voice strickened with animosity.  "Girl, I've worked
with this bitch.  She's evil through and through.  She's up to something."
Christina said, her eyes never straying.
		Justin exhaled lightly, rubbing a hand over the small of Brian's back.
"I'm with Britney on this one.  Let's just forget it.  They're only going to
ruin our night if we focus on them." Justin advised, giving Brian a small
nudge toward the exit.  "Yeah, there's no use in us trying to figure out
what they're up to until they try something." Jorge agreed, pulling
Christina away.  Christina sighed dramatically, following her boyfriend and
security toward their awaiting limos.  "Who cares anyway?  If you can stick
Justin and Nick in a bed butt-ass naked and still have Brian head-over-heels
in love with Justin, there ain't nothing those three can do." Chris joked,
following Christina and Jorge out with Britney close behind.
		"Are you worried?" Justin whispered into Brian's ear, letting the others
walk ahead as Brian and Justin stayed still.  Brian sighed softly, laying
his head back on Justin's shoulder.  "I have two very important people back
in Orlando.  I can't afford for them to mess things up for me." Brian
responded, his country voice lowered.  Justin kissed Brian's earlobe, slowly
rubbing Brian's back for comfort.  "Baby, you believe in us.  You know that
I don't want to take this ring off of my finger.  Let's just trust in God
and hope for the best." Justin suggested.
		Brian wanted to fight Justin's optomism.  He was looking for a reason to
walk around grim, depressed.  Justin wouldn't let him.  Justin would not
give him a reason to forget about how happy he was with his husband and with
his family.  Justin was... Justin was Justin.  Justin was Brian's angel and
he always wrapped his wings around Brian, holding him close and reminding
him that life wasn't as hard as he thought.  "I love you Justin Randall
Littrell." Brian whispered, turning his head to give Justin a small peck on
the cheek.  Justin smiled widely, nudging Brian toward the exit again.
"Love you too Rocky." he replied softly before leading Brian out of the
lobby.
		He had watched Christina do her opening, Outkast and Destiny's Child
perform brilliantly in their own respects and had even watched his husband
and the rest of *NSYNC give a video montage toward the woman of the night.
With Britney wedged between Chris and Justin, Brian felt a little out of
place, sitting next to Justin, out of view and shadowed from attention.
		Brian had found himself giving Janet Jackson a few glances, amazed by her
beauty, her humbleness and her glow.  He knew when Janet glanced at him,
gave him a quick smile or a wink, it was because she accepted him.  She did
not judge him or belittle him for going against the rule book.  She did not
have ill-feelings toward Brian for being with Justin or Justin for being
with Brian.  She accepted them for who they were in their souls and Brian
only wished the rest of the world, the rest of the industry accepted them
for that.
		On stage, P!nk had just finished up a rousing dance performance of Janet's
'Miss You Much' and Usher was mid-way through his sloppy rendition the song
'Alright.'  Brian didn't care because it was just dancing, dancing that
could have been done a little more tighter, a little faster and with a
little more ease.  He listened to Chris and Britney babble about the
performance and felt Justin's still hand on his thigh.  He wanted Justin to
massage his thigh, maybe go a little higher or even rub it comfortingly like
he did when they were in bed together.  Occasionally he got up the nerve to
glance at Justin, watch his husband watch the performance.  He smiled when
watching that tight jaw muscle flex and Justin's eyes peer with deep
concentration.  He resisted needs to pet that cheek for fear of being caught
by the camera that circled the audience.  'How would the world react if they
saw me rubbing his face while he watched this stupid ass Usher performance?'
Brian laughed to himself, shifting his eyes to look at his lap again.
Justin's hand was still stiff, but it looked caring.  'Who cares?  They saw
us kiss for a minute at the MTV Awards and I'm sure after that too.  This is
just another MTV event where the press will see Brian Littrell showing his
care for his husband.' Brian told himself, a soft smile establish itself on
his tin lips.
		"Oh wow, look at Myà.  She looks just like Janet." Britney gushed, causing
Brian to lift his head.  He glanced at the singer curiously and could see
the slight resemblance between the two.  He bobbed his head nonchalantly to
the beat of 'Pleasure Principal.'
		The hand on his leg was moving, caressing him in a loving way.  He turned
his head and his eyes found Justin's staring at me, a grin on his lips that
sent butterflies swimming into Brian's stomach.  "You look so cute when
you're thinking hard." Justin said, his voice rising just above the sound of
the music.  Brian felt the blush creep into his cheeks and he felt like he
was twenty-three years old again, falling for a seventeen-year-old without
much control.  He reached his hand up and tapped his knucle on Justin's
nose.  He let his fingers brush down and run over Justin's pouty red lips.
"You're adorable whenever you're just you." Brian responded, a warming smile
on his face.  Justin winked at Brian and laughed lowly, leaning toward
Brian.  "Thanks," Justin whispered, his hand slipping a little higher up
Brian's thigh.  Brian shook, trying to hide his nervousness as Justin leaned
closer.  'Damn, I've got to have sex with him tonight.  He's just too damn
sexy to ignore.' Brian told himself, letting his own hand stray to Justin's
shirt, playing with the material as Justin got a little closer.
		"If you kissed me right now, you'd be even more cuter." Justin said, his
voice low but slick with lust.  Brian watched the slow roll of Justin's long
tongue over his lips, the wet the salivia left them slick and moist and
ready to be kissed.  They were ruddy, they were pouty and they were
beautiful.  The tongue slipped back into Justin's mouth but not without
flicking toward Brian in a dangerously flirty way.
		"If you kiss him, right now, I will personally kick both of your asses for
making out on national TV." Chris warned, his voice stern but light with
humor.  Justin giggled softly, unconciously licking his lips again as he
gradually pulled back from Brian.  Brian caught his breath, closing his
eyes.  He concentrated on trying to calm the throbbing erection that now
strained against his pants.  "Sorry, couldn't help it." Justin said,
settling back into his seat.  Brian sighed, forcing out a smile as Justin's
hand stayed steady on his leg, unmoving but still hot with need.  "That's
cute." Britney remarked, snuggling closer to Chris and Justin while Brian
focused his attention on the stage.  "Yeah... I bet." Brian whispered,
scrunching up his nose with a song of need in his head.
		"Hey, this is Jon Norris with MTV News and I'm standing here with two of
the luckiest guys of the night.  These are the two guys that actually got to
hug Miss Janet Jackson tonight at the MTV special, Icon." Jon stated,
dividing his time between the camera's lense and Chris and Justin.  "Yeah,
we got to hug her." Justin added with a sly grin.  "You guys are pretty
lucky.  Now, besides you guys being out here for the show, you're also
getting ready to release your third album, isn't that correct?" Jon asked,
holding his microphone toward the guys.  Chris and Justin both nodded
immediately, their serious expressions ruling their faces.  "Yeah, we pushed
it back to the end of May to record just one more song and also make sure
that the sing has enough time to pump people up for the new album." Chris
replied, folding his arms.  "Exactly.  We want the first song, which is
called 'Dirty Pop,' to hit big before we hit them with the album." Justin
agreed.
		"And from what I've heard of this new single, it is surely going to put
you guys right back on the map.  Now, you've worked with some intresting
producers and writers from BT to Rodney Jerkins to Max Martin and company,
but I hear you write and produce a majority of this album yourselves.  Also,
you worked with Brian Littrell from the Backstreet Boys again.  What's the
connection outside of personal matters?" Jon wondered, his professional
demeanor standing strong.  "We wanted to prove to everyone that we're not
just this fluff act.  We wanted to show everyone we can write decent songs.
You know, JC did a lot of writing, Justin co-wrote and co-produced the first
single.  He co-wrote the song with Brian.  Lance did a song for the album.
Me and Joey did some writing here and there.  It was all about showing
everyone we are more than just a teen act or a musical group on TV.  We have
a niche for this craft." Chris explained, his grave image holding
presedence.  "We just love what we do." Justin said shortly.
		"What about having Brian work on th album?" Jon wondered, daring to delve
into the personal territory.  Justin sucked in his lower lip and lowered his
brow.  He didn't want to discuss Brian because it was his Brian, not MTV's
or the public's.  "Brian's a cool guy, I guess.  Sucks at producing and
writing stuff, but we pretend he's cool because of Justin." Chris joked,
elbowing his friend.  Jon and Justin both laughed, Chris' humor finally
winning its way back.  "No, but really, all of the guys love him.  He's a
very cool guy and he writes awesome stuff.  Justin had originally written
the song with Brian in mind and then the two callborated and got with
producer Veit Renn to finish it all up.  When we sang it and heard it, it
was real cool.  It was pure emotion, for all of us, on that song." Chris
explained kindly.
		Justin felt a smile pull at the corners of his mouth and he did not fight
it.  It was true.  Justin had written a majority of the song while thinking
of his husband.  He had felt the emotion when they sung it and even felt the
tears prick at his eyes when he hit that note.  He blinked back his emotion
when Jon spoke to him.  "I noticed Brian's the only Backstreet Boy here
tonight and that he's here with you.  How is he?" Jon asked, keeping the
interview personal for a moment.  Justin scratched his buzz cut hair,
nibbling on his lower lip again.  "He's good.  He's here, somewhere,
mingling with folks.  But he's good.  The other guys are in town also for
their L.A. concert, but they're resting up for it," Justin explained
considerately.  Jon nodded, taking in the information with a straight face.
"I kind of suckered Brian into coming with me instead of getting rest."
Justin added with a quick laugh.
		Jon smiled gently, pulling his microphone back for his next question.
"And how is your son?  Well, I should said, how are both of your sons?" Jon
asked, turning his question to both men.  "Great.  I got to see him today
because he's out here in Los Angeles with his mother while she works with
702 to finish up their new album.  So he was thrilled to see me." Chris
responded with a luxurious smirk.  Jon grinned back before glancing at
Justin.  "And how's Angel, Justin?" he questioned, focring the mic in
Justin's direction.  Justin licked his lips quickly, trying to swallow back
his distaste toward the question.  "He's fine.  He's back at home waiting
for me to get back." Justin replied halfheartedly.  He had no desire to
publically admit how much he missed his son or wished for him to be laying
sleep in his fathers' arms tonight.  He kept it short to save his own heart
the pain of discussing what he wanted as bad as he wanted to be with Brian.
		"And the other guys?  Are they back in Orlando finishing up the album?"
Jon inquired, hoping tow rap up his interview.  "Actually, Lance and Joey
are in Canada finishing up a few final scenes for Lance's movie.  They had
to redo some of them." Justin answered first, relieved with a less private
question.  "And JC... he's sick.  He's just a bit under the weather and had
planned on coming tonight but just couldn't." Chris lied flatly.  Justin
glared at him, disgusting by the way Chris covered for JC.  Justin wanted to
say JC passed up the event for a previous engagment, one that consumed him
and gave him no room to breathe.  Chris wasn't going to let him do it.
Chris didn't have to courage to admit his friend was being swallowed alive
by Nick's neediness.  Justin hated that.  He hated everything about it.
		"Well, thanks guys.  We hope to hear from you real soon, especially with
the new album." Jon said, concluding his interview with a smile.  Both Chris
and Justin nodded and smiled for him, shifting in their own direction.
Justin crossed his arms, walking laboriously next to Chris.  Chris gave him
a fleeting look, sighing loudly.  "Don't Justin." he said sternly, his words
having instant meaning.  "Fine Chris.  Let's not really give a fuck that
we're covering for him to do whatever with Nick." Justin replied grimly.
Chris shook his head immediately.  "He's going through a tough time right
now.  He just wants his marriage to work." Chris said, defending his friend
without question.  "Is that what he wants?" Justin questioned sarcastically.
  He didn't believe that.  He didn't believe JC wanted anything to work but
his penis.  But that was once his best friend.  Once his brief lover.  Now -
just JC.
		He thought maybe it was serendipity.  Laying in that bed again, with
Nick's head on his chest, tears soaking his shirt from Nick's eyes, he
thought that maybe he was meant to be there to comfort Nick.  There was no
way Nick could've done this alone, but would he even have tried?  Would he
just swallow the pain, let it undulate through his soul and leave him bitter
like fresh wine?  Just possibly and JC hated that.  He despised that his
husband would let this pungent, unhealthy feeling incinerate the goodness
that made JC want to marry him.
		JC brushed his thumb along Nick's cheek, rubbing against salty tears
without thought.  "If you keep crying baby, then you'll get those real puffy
eyes and it just doesn't make you look cute.  How am I gonna kiss you if
you're not cute like you always are?" JC asked, longing for a happier side
to his husband's disposition.  Nick continued to sniffle, shameful tears
staining his soft cheeks.  "You'll won't want to kiss me later.  You won't
want to kiss me if you knew." Nick choked out, gripping JC's shirt tighter.
		JC sighed, tired of trying to decypher Nick's cryptic words.  They didn't
mean anything to him anymore.  What Nick knew, what scared Nick, what was
hurting Nick didn't matter anymore.  He just wanted to enjoy being around
Nick and it wasn't possible.  "It doesn't matter honey.  I'm here with you
now and whatever is bothering you can't take me away." JC said, combing his
fingers through Nick's hair.  He leaned down and kissed the top of Nick's
head, snuggling a little closer to Nick.
		Nick wished it was that easy.  He wished he could let down his guard and
remove his armour.  He couldn't.  He knew if he did, he would be vulnerable.
  He'd be an easy target for more pain, savage pain.  It wasn't worth.  He'd
rather his conscience die than to let his heart die.  But weren't they one
in the same?
		"It could, Josh.  It could take you away." Nick sniffled out.  He felt
JC's hand on his chin, cupping it and lifting it.  He looked through
tear-soaked eyes.  He blinked away those tears to stare into JC's gentle and
oh so loving eyes.  It was a blessing.  To look into those crystal-like eyes
and felt comfort sweep around his body, hug him and pet him until he felt at
ease.  "Hey, aren't I Joshua Chasez?  Aren't you Nick Chasez?  Aren't we
married?  Don't we love each other?" JC questioned.  Nick sniffled before
nodding.  They were married and in love.  He always wanted to believe that.
"I know, in the past, I haven't exactly shown you how much you've meant to
me and how much I've needed you, but I can't let that happen anymore.  You
mean far too much to me.  It's no lie, Nick.  I didn't stay in this marriage
to lose you or lose myself." JC told him, his voice heavy with emotion.
		There it was.  There was the smile that lifted JC's spirits.  There was
that honest look of love that JC fell in love with that night they had sex.
That night JC made love to him, JC remembered that look of tenderness and
slight fear that came along with a new love.  It was that glow in Nick's
eyes that brought the fire to JC's heart.  He could remember it all, the
feelings during sex, the emotion afterward, the thoughts in his mind, the
gentle kissing, the way he didn't want to let Nick go.  And the next
morning?  He could remember it.  He could remember waking up to somebody and
truly feeling complete.  So why couldn't he have that again?  Why couldn't
he start all over with this man?  It was worth it.  It was worth waking up
to that loving smile and those bright eyes every morning without thinking
about the passionate sex or the previous argument or the way the alcohol
still burned in his throat.  It was worth being there to know Nick Chasez
instead of Nick Carter.
	Day to night, when you dream
	Heaven watches you as you sleep
	Close your eyes, don't be scared
	Cause we'll always be right there

	When you wake, look around
	You'll find us looking down
	Smiling as we watch you
	Hoping all your dreams came true

	Don't be afraid, close your eyes
	Angels are around you, it's all right
	So, baby, don't ever worry about losing your dreams
	Cause they'll come true
	Just look at your Daddy and me...

		Justin clutched a pillow to his chest, watching Brian sing to his son
through the phone.  He rested his head against the headboard of Brian's bed,
sighing quietly.  He would feel like Angel in less than twenty-four hours.
He would be missing Brian desperately again and it hurt to think of it.  He
would be far away from Brian once more and it may have only been for a week,
but Justin knew that week would be hell.  It was going to hurt him too much
to be away from Brian if only for a short period of time.
		"Goodnight Timber." Brian whispered into the phone before hanging it up.
He smiled sweetly, the sound of his son's steady breathing still in his
head.  "He's knocked out." Brian chimed, turning on the bed to face Justin.
His brow furrowed as his eyes glared at Justin.  The way Justin's lips
pouted, the swollen tears hiding in his eyes as he ducked his head, and the
way his body was beginning to curl up bothered Brian.  Brian scooted back on
the bed, placing a hand on Justin's bare shin.  "Hey, you okay?" Brian asked
with heavy concern, rubbing his finger across the downy hairs on Justin's
legs.  Justin nodded, keeping his head low and his chin to the pillow.  "You
don't have to lie." Brian said lowly, moving his hands higher to rest on
Justin's thigh.
		It was always hard for Justin to lie to Brian.  Sometimes he could get
away with it, a small, white lie, but never anything big or anything
emotional.  He couldn't conceal himself from Brian.  Brian knew him too
well.  Brian knew all of his facial expressions, all of his body movements.
It was just too hard for Justin to try and hide his depression from Brian
because Brian knew Justin from the exterior to his soul.
		"It's nothing Brian.  Just a little down about going home tomorrow and
having to wait for you to be there with me and Bastian." Justin replied in a
small voice, his fingers picking at the seam of the pillowcase.  He felt the
bed shift as Brian crawled further up the bed, Brian's side leaning on
Justin's leg as Brian pulled his legs up onto the bed.  Brian pulled at his
pillow, pulling it down into his lap.  "Hurts right there, doesn't it?"
Brian asked, pressing his index finger into Justin's bare chest.  Justin
glanced down, looking at Brian's finger as it pressed right against Justin's
heart.  He sighed loudly while nodding again.  'Since when did I forget what
my vocabulary is?' Justin wondered, not able to utter any words to his
husband.  "It always hurts right there when it means the most.  It's
supposed to hurt.  It's supposed to make you cry.  If it doesn't, then
what's the purpose of caring about that person so much?  What's the purpose
of loving them with all of your heart if they can't make it hurt really bad
when they're away?" Brian said, his words speaking poetry to Justin's soul.
		Brian scooted up the bed until he was curled right next to Justin.  He
reached to his side and pulled open the nearby desk drawer.  He shifted
through the drawer for a moment before pulling out a few photographs.
Justin nibbled his lower lip while drapping an arm over Brian's chest.  He
scooted closer to glance at the pictures as Brian held them up.  "I guess
you could call these my sedative.  They numb the pain sometimes when I get
really down out here on the road." Brian said with his soft, honey-thick
country accent.  Justin peered at the pictures with wonder as Brian shifted
through them.  First was a color Kodak of Brian and Justin dancing the night
of their anniversary.  Following that one was a picture of Justin cuddled up
to BJ on the couch.  Next was a black and white photo of Brian, Justin, and
Angel laughing on the floor, one that Justin knew Lance took before the
Littrells left for Kentucky in December.  Justin smiled at a photo of Brian
reading Angel a book in Angel's rocking chair.  His eyes sparkled when he
saw a picture of both Justin and Angel kissing Brian's cheek on Brian's
birthday.  The final was a picture of the infant child that Brian and Justin
hoped to adopt.  Justin sighed breathlessly when glaring at the photo of the
premature girl laying in her crib at the hospital.  'He wants you so bad.'
Justin thought to himself as he unconsciously ran a finger over the picture.
  He closed his eyes tightly, hoping tears did not squeak through.  'I want
you so bad, but we might not get you.  We might not be what the hospital is
looking for.' Justin sighed to himself, laying his head on Justin's
shoulder.
		"It helps me feel better when I think about Angel or our future daughter
or Tyke, BJ and the pups or you.  I know I'll be back with ya'll soon and it
makes me feel better.  We all need something to remind us that it's supposed
to hurt but it gets better." Brian said, snaking an arm around Justin's
shoulders.  Justin smiled softly.  He turned his head a little to brush his
growing goatee against Brian's soft skin.  "Talking on the phone with you
makes me feel better about you being away." Justin whispered, placing a
gentle kiss on Brian's collarbone.  "Does it?" Brian asked, rubbing his
thumb over Justin's bicep.  "Hmmmhmmm." Justin moaned, lifting his leg and
resting it over Brian's lap.  Brian laid the photos on the table and curled
his arms around Justin, pulling him close.  "It's your voice.  It's never
tough or hard, but always sweet and sometimes so soft," Justin smiled.  He
traced Brian's smooth abs with his fingertips, enjoying the feel of the
skin.  "And then I can look at my wedding ring and remember July 4th.  I
start to think of the beach and walking down the aisle and standing in the
sand, barefoot as we recited our vows.  No one can ever recreate that moment
baby." Justin added, twisting his fingers through Brian's short hair.
		Brian shifted his body, rolling Justin onto his side.  He chewed his lower
lip as Justin batted his long lashes at Brian, rolling his tongue over his
lips in a lusty manner.  Justin was Brian's private sex kitten.  He only
revealed this sweet, youthful, sexy side to Brian.  Brian knew no one else
ever saw it.  No one.  No one ever heard Justin purr when Brian touched him
in the right spot like Brian heard when he cupped Justin's crotch through
Justin's thin boxers.  No one saw that glittery gleam in Justin's eyes like
Brian did when Brian ran his foot up and down Justin's leg.  Only Brian was
able to smell that masculine scent as he began to slid down Justin's boxers.
  He was the only person who taste Justin's sugary lips without having to
ask or seduce his husband.  He received the honey delicious taste by just
being Brian.  That made him special.  That made Justin his sex kitten.
		Justin skimmed his leg between Brian's and let his knee raise until it
bumped against Brian's covered crotch.  He rubbed his knee back and forth
across Brian's balls and then over his swollen erection.  "So is this going
to make me feel better for a few days?" Justin wondered with a seductive
voice, rubbing his thumb over Brian's bottom lip.  Brian groaned lowly,
forcing his own body down onto Justin's knee for more friction.  "No, this
is just going to be a reminder.  I want to leave you with a little something
to remind you that when I get home, we're sending Angel back over to your
mother's, giving Lea the day off and fucking all over the house for hours."
Brian responded through gritted teeth, a loose smile forming afterward.
Justin giggled quietly, sliding his hand down until it reached the waistband
of Brian's boxers.  He shifted closer to Brian, his lengthy erection
brushing against the cloth of Brian's boxers.  "Now ain't that a concept?"
Justin grinned, his hand quickly clicking on the stereo while his other hand
pulled down Brian's boxers.
	That's it...
	Would you mind?
	Would you?

		Justin laid a quick kiss on Brian's smooth pink lips while his hand moved
lightly over Brian's penis.  "Do I need to get a condom because there's one
in the back pocket of my jeans?" Justin wondered as Brian massaged his hips.
  Brian ducked his head and placed quick, gentle kisses across Justin's
neck.  He carefully grinded his dick into Justin's palm, restraining moans
by keeping his lips in contact with Justin's skin.  His eyes fluttered
upward with the movement of his lips.  He kissed Justin's chin, licking his
tongue against the bristles of hair on Justin's chin.  His lips brushed over
Justin's face like rose petals circling in the air.  He finally found
Justin's lips and panted warm breath on them, his hands skirting up to
Justin's chest.  He painted erotic planes over Justin's chest, feeling the
muscles flex slightly.  "No, don't get it.  Let's just touch, feel, smell,
taste, kiss, suck... anything.  We don't need to make love or go down on
each other... just feel what we want and let the rest cum naturally." Brian
said, his country-tinged accent reverting into a dangerously seductive
voice.
		Justin moaned loudly, arching his back freely at the sound of Brian's
voice.  Brian hadn't been that sensual in awhile.  Justin was not used to
Brian's erotic tone but he welcomed it.  He let his hands settle onto
Brian's thighs, rubbing them softly as Brian's own hands slid down to a
prize that both wanted.

	Baby, would you mind touching me
	Ever so slowly
	Ooh, you're making me quiver
	And baby, would you mind undressing me
	Making me feel sexy
	While in the moment

	Cause I'm gonna
	Bathe you, play with you, rub you, caress you
	Tell you how much I've missed you
	I just wanna
	Touch you, tease you, lick you, please you
	Love you, hold you, make love to you
	And I'm gonna
	Kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
	Feel you deep inside me, ooh
	I just wanna kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
	Feel you, make you come too
	(I wanna make you come)

		Brian's tongue ran over his lips slowly, his blue eyes focused on Justin's
lofty penis.  He scooted closer until the head of Justin's cock brushed
against the muscles in his stomach.  He hissed quietly, his lips latching
onto Justin's, swallowing them gradually as his baby-soft hands grabbed onto
Justin's penis, rubbing it in a circular motion.  His tongue flicked over
Justin's teeth while his feet rubbed over Justin's.  He felt his husband
arch into his hands, desperate for rougher touches.  Brian grinned in the
kiss, pulling back slowly.  He ran his tongue over Justin's slightly parted
lips.  "Mmmmm, yes..." Brian moaned out, rubbing the tip of his tongue over
Justin's bottom lip.  He suckled the red lip, tasting it without
reservation.  He nipped at it and sucked at it, beliving he would draw blood
if he did not pull away.
		"Ah, ah..." Justin gasped out as Brian ran the thumb of his left hand over
the slit on Justin's penis.  Justin let his eyes roll to the back of his
head as he dwelled in the pleasure.  His shaky hands brushed up and down
Brian's inner thighs, hoping to trigger a similiar reaction from his
husband.  "Oooh, yes, yes JuJu..." Brian groaned softly, kissing Justin's
lips once more.  Justin hummed into the kiss, finally taking Brian's tongue
into his mouth.  He slithered a hand up higher, brushing his palm over
Brian's balls while his fingers curled into Brian's underside.  He pressed
lightly onto Brian's ballsac, feeling the tightness of the skin.  'Mmmm,
he's horny.  They're pulled up tight.' Justin thought as he rolled his palm
over the area.  "God, do that some more..." Brian grunted as he pulled away
from the kiss.  Justin tilted his head with a smile.  He moved closer and
began to smell Brian's skin, the smell of musk and faint traces of cologne
attracted him even greater.  His lips kissed at Brian's Adam's apple while
his other hand began to comb through Brian's curly pubic hair.
		Brian began to nudge his generously proportioned penis against Justin's
inner thigh, desperate to get Justin's hands on him.  He felt Justin's hand
creep lower under him, Justin's middle finger sliding between Brian's round,
firm cheeks.  He gasped roughly as Justin prodded at the hole with his
finger with hopes of exciting Brian even more.  "You're killing me babe."
Brian huffed out, a gentle smile lacing his lips.  He found Justin's
vigorous blue eyes without trying.  They sparkled with that risky glow that
Justin rarely carried.  He let his eyes slowly shut as he saw Justin draw
closer to kiss him and he accepted it willingly.
		The kiss was like the first glass of wine, awakening at first, but
gradually purifying in a sensual way.  Tongues met halfway and stirred the
flavor, gave it new life as pants grw thicker.  Brian lifted a hand from
Justin's dick to rub it over Justin's prickly hair.  He gripped the back of
Justin's head, pulling him closer to further the kiss.  Justin did not
hesitate, he did not drawback when Brian's tongue snaked past his and began
to caress the roof of his mouth.  He welcomed it.  His hand gained the
courage to wrap around Brian's manhood and with a few strokes, Justin had
Brian ready to give his soul for pleasure.

	Baby, would you mind kissing me
	All over my body
	You missed a spot there
	Baby, would you mind tasting me
	It's making me all juicy
	Feeling your lips on mine

		Justin's lips strayed from Brian's, finding his shoulder.  He kissed the
skin, following a path down Brian's arm as Brian moaned carelessly into the
dim-lit room.  Brian wanted to be one with his husband.  He wanted to feel
the same undescribable ecstasy that Justin felt.  He moved his ass backward,
letting Justin's fingertip penetrate him.  "Uh, oh God, uh..." Brian
grunted, stepping into that forbidden paradise of sexual desire and
awakening.  He felt Justin leaving candy-coated kisses across his wrist,
lifting it to suckle the skin, licking the veins and tracing pictures across
his palm.  "Hmmm." he moaned softly as Justin pulled the fingertip out of
him, drawing a small path up his back.
		Justin licked across Brian's palm, his fingers, the tips, the nails, and
the knucles.  He coated Brian's hand in his saliva and kisses.  "Mmmm, you
taste so good baby." Justin moaned, kissing each of Brian's fingertips.
Brian sighed contently, rubbing his hand back and forth over Justin's
throbbing cock.  "You feel so good Ju... so long and so hard." Brian
groaned, batting his eyes open to watch Justin.  The images were blinding.
The way Justin dragged that tongue across Brian's hand, slowly and
desireably, left Brian weak.  His vision was blurry and the hand curling
around his cock wasn't helping.
		"Use this hand to jack me off baby..." Justin breathed out, lowering
Brian's now wet hand until it reached Justin's crotch.  Brian quickly
replaced his other hand with the one Justin instructed him to use.  He
whimpered lowly as Justin used his middle finger to pet the head of Brian's
cock, massaging the precum into the velvety skin.
		Justin carried Brian's other hand up to his lips, taking each finger into
his mouth, one at a time.  He suckled them like he would Brian's penis,
never missing a spot.  "God, baby..." Brian moaned, his toes curling at the
sensations of Justin's tongue, his hand, his penis.  His body quivered and
his mind spun.  He raked his toes over Justin's calf, tilting his head to
kiss at Justin's jawline.  His lips felt the movements in Justin's jaw as
Justin sucked his fingers.  "Oh baby, yeah, mmmmm..." Brian whispered, his
tongue licking over Justin's earlobe.
		Justin stopped licking Brian's fingers, panting lowly as he stared at
Brian.  "Use this hand to feel inside me." Justin whispered as he guided
Brian's hand behind him.  He didn't have to instruct Brian any further.  He
didn't have to tell Brian where to put his hand or what to do with it.
		Before Justin could take another swallow to gain his strength, Brian had a
finger sliding inside of him.  Justin tensed up for a moment, striving to
adjust to the feeling of Brian penetrating him once again.  He grit his
teeth together and shut his eyes, laying his forehead against Brian's.  He
felt Brian's shallow breaths and soft strokes.  Brian wouldn't go any
further with his other hand.  He wouldn't slide deeper into Justin until he
knew it was fine.  "Uh, okay... okay baby, go ahead." Justin grunted out,
his muscles finally relaxing and accepting Brian into his body.  He gave
himself to Brian and reveled in the bliss his husband brought to him as the
music shaped their actions.

	Cause I'm gonna
	Bathe you, play with you, rub you, caress you
	Tell you how much I've missed you
	I just wanna
	Touch you, tease you, lick you, please you
	Love you, hold you, make love to you
	And I'm gonna
	Kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
	Feel you deep inside me, ooh
	I just wanna kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
	Feel you, make you come too
	(Are you ready?)

		Justin sucked on Brian's lower lip as they passion persisted.  He used a
hand to hold Brian's leg up on his hip while his own hips ground into both
of Brian's hands.  The feel of Brian's index and middle finger rubbing over
his prostate surrounded him.  He was swallowed by a bubble of lust and
passion, his breaths heavy and his body shuddering.  He scrunched up his
nose as the feverish friction of Brian's skin on his heated their bodies.
		"Need it... I want it... God, please..." Brian pleaded in short breaths as
Justin brushed the slit apart with his thumb.  He felt a chill as Justin
released his cock, carrying his hand away.  His baby blue eyes batted open
and he watched Justin.  His eyes grew larger as he watched Justin suck on
his own thumb, licking every inch of it with closed eyes.  "Mmm, you taste
like honey Rocky..." Justin groaned, his eyes finally opening.  "Oh." Brian
groaned back, poking his cock into Justin's hips.
		Justin slid both of his hands around to Brian's ass.  He cupped the cheeks
and massaged them roughly as he pulled Brian even closer.  His bruised lips
found Brian's chest and he quickly began to kiss it.  He used his head to
cock Brian's head backward, giving him greater access to Brian's biceps.  He
pulled Brian forward until he felt Brian's cock slide between his legs.  He
squeezed his thighs shut, gripping Brian's aching penis between them and
began his grinding once more, adding a vice-like friction to Brian's
throbbing cock.  "Oh God!  Ah, fuck... Jesus..." Brian whined, his eyes
shutting tighter.  Justin smiled briefly, rolling his tongue over Brian's
left nipple before lifting his lips higher.  His lips latched onto the skin
just above the nipple, his teeth nipping at the flesh.  He let Brian fuck
his legs while he pleasured in the feel of two fingers inside of his hole
and a hand massaging his penis.

	Baby, would you mind coming inside of me
	Letting your juices free
	Deep in my passion
	(Is it good to you baby?)

	Cause I'm gonna
	Bathe you, play with you, rub you, caress you
	Tell you how much I've missed you
	I just wanna
	Touch you, tease you, lick you, please you
	Love you, hold you, make love to you
	And I'm gonna
	Kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
	Feel you deep inside me, ooh
	I just wanna kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
	Feel you, make you come too

		Brian found himself panting unknown phrases as his husband's legs brought
him closer to and closer to heaven.  He lovingly kissed the top of Justin's
head before gasping out.  "Beanie, I'm close..." he huffed out, proding
further into Justin's body with his fingers.  He let Justin spread his
fingers over his stomach, feeling the tightness as Brian's body tensed.
"Just cum baby..." Justin whispered, brushing a finger over Brian's nose.
Brian hissed lowly and chewed on his lower lip, restraining him as the
plesure dragged on.
		Justin's balls tightened against his body and he lurched forward.  'God,
this is becoming too much.  We haven't had sex or even sucked each other off
and it's feeling like we've done all that for hours.' Justin thought to
himself as his husband began to leave charitable kisses on his bruised lips.
  "Mmm, I love you... oh I love you Beanie..." Brian said against Justin's
lips, his body shivering uncontrollably.  "I.. I.. I love you too Rocky..."
Justin gasped, arching his back completely.

	Oh baby, would you mind?
	Yeah

	I just wanna
	Touch you, tease you, lick you, please you
	Love you, hold you, make love to you
	And I'm gonna
	Kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
	Feel you deep inside me, ooh
	I just wanna kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you
	Feel you, make you come too

		The guitar solo racked through the room in a soft orchestra as moans and
pants came quicker and louder.  Justin felt an echoing moan in his throat
but he held it back as Brian sucked on his neck, creating a tiny hickey at
the bottom.  "Oh, baby, shit..." Justin growled, forcing himself backward
until he felt Brian's fingers burried deep inside of him, only the knuckles
left on the exterior.  "Rub right there baby..." Justin pleaded, tilting his
head further back.  Brian did not need another hint before he pressed harder
onto Justin's protstae, trying to control his own body as it banged
feverously against Justin's legs.  "Shit... damn, Beanie, it's too much."
Brian said quickly, biting down on Justin's collarbone.  "Oh!" Justin
groaned, raking his fingers down Brian's back.
		Lips met briskly, controlling glass-shattering moans as an escalation of
rapture entered the room.  "Fuck fuck fuck... oh shit fuck... Rocky!  Rock!
Yes!  God, Rocky!  You're so good to me baby..." Justin groaned out,
ejeculating long, thick streams of cum over Brian's stomach, pubic hair and
hand.  "Mmmm, mmm, mmm, ooh, damn it... Beanie!" Brian groaned back, arching
his back to its height as he came explosively between Justin's legs, spurts
of the semen shooting past Justin's legs and onto the sheets and a nearby
pillow.
		"Oh, oh, oh..." Justin moaned, easing back onto the bed as Brian slipped
his hand off of his still bouncing cock.  Justin didn't have the strength to
look down.  He couldn't handle the sight of his cum over Brian's body or the
image of his cock, flushed and deep reddish-purple.  He felt a cool, wet wet
rub across his bottom lip, wiping a thick stream of cum over it.  He moaned
quietly, laying back.  He accepted as kiss from Brian, Brian's tongue
spreading the cum into Justin's mouth and into Brian's own.
		"Mmmmm." Brian hummed, sucking on the lip as Justin spread his legs,
letting Brian pull back.  He felt Justin's fingers playing in the puddles of
seed of his body as his own leg scooted between Justin's legs to feel the
hot fluid between his thighs.  "That was a little too hot baby." Brian
whispered as Justin laid one of Brian's hands between his thighs.  "It was."
Justin agreed, opening his eyes as Brian massaged his inner thighs.  The
stimulation was too great.  Not right after ejeculation.  Not after he had
just been masturbated and fingered by his husband.  Not on his hot spot.
Brian couldn't do that to him.  Not right then.
		Justin pulled the hand up and licked the fingers without care, his tongue
running sloppily over them.  "But it was passionate." Brian added, kissing
the tip of Justin's nose.  "Mmmm hmmm." Justin agreed with a broad grin, his
tongue rolling over his lips to taste the final remains of Brian.  He leaned
forward and gave Brian a quick, but smooth kiss on the lips, never letting
his smile die as Brian snuggled to him.  This was comfort.  This was nice.
In fact, this was what Justin wanted for weeks.  He was going to have it,
whatever he had to do.  He was going to have his husband in his arms at
night.  He was going to make love to him.  He was going to snuggle up to
Angel and Brian and his daughter.  He was going to have it all, but he knew
it was going to take time.  Time was something Justin Littrell had.
		"I can't fucking believe this!"  Brian stirred awake suddenly.  His eyes
stayed barely open, glancing around the dark room with a startle.  'What the
fuck?' Brian thought, glancing toward the alarm clock on the table.  '2 AM?
It's fuck 2 AM?' Brian thought, wanting to curl into Justin's arms again and
fall asleep.  It had been almost three hours since he and Justin had shared
their bodies and now there was yelling in the hallway and that sounded like
a fist slamming into the wall.  "I know AJ and Amanda aren't at it again."
Brian grumbled, curcling his fists into the sheets.  He felt Justin scratch
the back of his head, ruffling his hair.  "That didn't sound like AJ baby."
Justin whispered groggily.  Brian yawned impatiently, listening to Justin
sigh as doors opened in the hallway.
		"Josh, I'm sorry!  It wasn't my idea." another shout came and Brian shook
in the bed.  "That was Nick." Brian said, briskly sitting up in the bed.
"That other voice must've been JC." Justin added, crawling behind Brian.
"Oh, so those asshole control your life?  You went along with the fucking
plan." JC barked back and Brian couldn't stop himself from standing.  "This
isn't good." Justin said, slowly following Brian to the door.
		Brian glanced into the hallway before stepping out in the hall, clad in
only boxers and a pair of socks.  Justin followed in a wifebeater and a pair
of Brian's boxers.  They saw a small group at one end of the hall, mainly
the other Backstreet Boys, Britney and Christina.  Near JC and Nick's room
stood JC, Nick, and Leighanne.  Brian scratched his head in confusion,
watching the scene without a steady gaze.
		"Josh, I'm sorry.  I've been living with this for months and it's been
killing me." Nick said, a few tears falling down his face as he tried to
reach out to his husband.  JC jerked away briskly.  "Fuck that Nick.  I've
been living as your husband for months now and this shit ain't even right.
You got me drunk and got me to marry you that night to keep me from Justin,
to keep me from Nikki... to keep me from Lance.  You, that bitch Leighanne,
and Kevin plotted this shit to tear make Nikki want to go back to Kevin and
to eventually break up Brian and Justin.  You knew it wouldn't work for them
with us, the two folks that tried to keep them apart, always causing
arguments between them.  And then Leighanne would get Brian, right?  It'd be
all wonderful because Justin wouldn't have shit in the end and that's what
ya'll fucking want." JC hollered out, never stopping for a breath.
		Gasps rocked through the hallway and Justin couldn't help but grip his
husband's arm.  It was a lie.  JC was drunk that night and how could he have
known that Leighanne and Kevin had set this up?  That meant Leighanne and
Kevin were the ones JC told Justin about.  Leighanne was the woman, Kevin
was the man and they made sure Nick married JC when JC was too inebriated to
argue otherwise.  All of that for what?  To ruin Justin's life?  To ruin
JC's life?  To screw Nikki over and leave Lance at a standstill about what
was really going on inside of Lance's heart?  To hurt Brian?  To leave Angel
with one father?  The truth was there, but Nick stayed silent with tears
streaming his face.  He wasn't ready to say it all just yet.


					TO BE CONTINUED...

Song Credits (In order of appearance)

- Emotion (Barry Gibb, Robin Gibb), performed by Destiny's Child
- China Love (Janet Jackson, James Harris III, Terry Lewis), performed by
Janet Jackson
- Dangerously In Love (B. Knowles, E. McCalla Jr.), performed by Destiny's
Child
- Angel's Lullaby (J.M.), written for Brian Littrell
- Would You Mind (Janet Jackson, James Harris III, Terry Lewis, Dana
Stinsson), perfomed by Janet Jackson

--- This is exactly why I could NEVER work for a newspaper!  I have no
concept of a deadline!  LOL.  Yes, again, sorry about the wait.  And now I
KNOW everyone's going to harrass me to write the next part because I left
ya'll with this cliffhanger.  Well, the next part will be divided into two
parts and hopefully I'll get them out without troubles.  But with me, you
know that's not possible!  Anyways, THANK YOU TO ALL MY READERS!  I swear, I
love everyone of you to death.  This is for you.  This is a callobaration of
what everyone wanted.  Some wanted more Brian and Justin, some wanted juicy
sex, some wanted drama, some wanted JC and Nick to have happy moments and
there was more things too.  Thanks to every last person who sent me an idea
and who voted for the JC vote.  Results will be coming pretty soon.  Don't
hate me in the end, hate the readers that voted!  LOL.  I hope this meets
the expectations for some of you.  I figured why not include a part where
the characters show their appreciation toward an icon like I'm showing
appreciation to all of you with this story.  Also, BIG THANKS TO DAVID!
Hadest working man in this business ya'll.  I appreciate him and you for all
the love.  After this JC drama, expect a rather laidback story for Brian and
Justin and probably another couple and expect a surprise in that story too!
Definitely feeling Janet's new album, Destiny's Child's new one and City
High's new album.  So expect lyrics from these albums.  Oh, and how hot are
Brian and Nick in the new BSB video?  I mean, DAMN!  So fine.  And Justin's
new look is killing me.  He's look so sexy to me.  Uhm, otherwise, I think
that's it.  Oh, hi Allen!  Love ya much and keep writing kick ass stories.
Remember, I LOVE YOU ALL! ---