Date: Wed, 05 Sep 2001 17:33:54 +0000 From: J-dot M <catsfan1@hotmail.com> Subject: Angel's Wings Part 18 Angel's Wings (Part 18) Written by JM --- Da da da da da... what to write, what to write? Hmmm, it's about celebrities... yeah, that sounds good. Two very moral celebrities too... ooh yeah, that makes it better. Let's see, what else... oh yeah, these two male celebrities are together, but that has nothing to do with their actual personal lives. Ha ha, oh yeah, forgot this one... it's fiction ALL THE WAY! Is that it? I think so... wait, no... please be 18 or older or have your parents permission. Parental Guidance is suggested. Need some popcorn? Maybe a soda? Got to have the Twizzlers... remember, 'Silence Is Golden'! Okay, let's move on to to the previews... --- --- Rated PG-13: Hey, I'm back! That's right and I thought I could stay away. No, I prayed I could stay away, but this is in my blood. I've just got to write. Anyway, I'm glad to be back with another exciting verse in the song of Brian and Justin's lives. Please remember that these stories are based on the romance created for Brian and Justin through 'Brian and Justin' and 'Just Beginning'. This is not called 'JC and Nick' or 'Lance's Beginnings,' so please respect the fact that they will not get all the attention in the world. If you don't know by now, send all comments to: catsfan1@hotmail.com Thank you very much! Enjoy the show... --- --- Feature Presentation: Angel's Wings, Rated NC-17 --- Something about being wrapped in a ball of pure, white, soft, cottony piece of heaven gave him the desire to stay sleep for years. It was satisfaction in the easiest definition. His dreams guided him and aided him in his want to stay deep in his slumber. He wanted to become a permanent resident in that place of beauty. No one could hurt him or tell him that the life he leads is wrong. No one said he couldn't be with his husband or he was wrong for it. There was no one to question why he adopted two children or why he cried when thinking about going on tour without his family. There was no one, just him and his dreams. It was just Justin. Just kisses. Just smooth, soft kisses on his cheek, then under his eye, and then on the tip of his nose. Those kisses barely touched his lips and suddenly, he was feeling alive. He wasn't dreaming. He was coated in warmness and reality, two things he rarely knew to mix. Words whispered into his ear and he groaned, barely understanding them as he tried to stay deep in his dreams. A hand shook him and he knew it was reality robbing him of his moments of happiness once more. "Mmm-nnh-uhhh..." he moaned, snatching up a pillow to throw over his head. The hand that shook him snatched the pillow away, leaving him with no protection from the real world. "Come on baby." Brian whined, shaking his husband again. Justin fought it. He didn't even open his eyes. He just stayed there, curled under the sheets with a pout of his lips, hoping that Brian would walk away and give him that extra ten minutes he needed. But Brian didn't. Brian kept shaking him and touching him and Justin knew he was falling out of his sleep and waking up. He grumbled roughly and rolled in Brian's direction, clutching the sheets with a pained expression on his face. Justin let his eyes creak open just enough for Brian to see his pupils. He felt Brian's hand run over his short-cropped hair, pushing it backward with the palm of his hand. "Why?" Justin croaked out, his mouth and lips dry. He let the tip of his tongue flick out and run over them as he snuggled tighter to the sheets. "Good morning to you too." Brian grinned, letting his fingers trickle over the side of Justin's smooth face. Justin pressed out a wrinkled smile for his husband before letting his eyes fall shut again. "Sorry. Morning sweetheart," Justin said, his voice still octives deeper than usual. He let his hand drift down and scratch his crotch through his boxers. He stretched lethargically and groaned again. He pressed his face to Brian's hand and yawned, daring to open his eyes again. "Why do I have to get up?" Justin finally asked, keeping his face crumpled with a sexy pout on his red lips. "Because it's your job and if you don't go to rehearsal and then go on tour, then I have to pay all the bills and pay for the kids' stuff. Since I don't feel like carrying all that wait, you've got to get off your lazy ass and help out." Brian teased his husband, hoping that discussing Justin's coming departure did not hurt his husband too much. Justin let a crooked smile tug on his lips and he peeked his head up. "Well, I don't wanna." Justin chimed with a foolish smirk. He scrunched up his nose before letting his head drop back to the pillows, a low giggle emerging from his lips. Brian sighed and watched as Justin shifted on to his back, folding his arms behind his head and closing his eyes to return to his comfortable slumber. He trailed a finger down the center of Justin's bare chest. He thought about touching Justin in a more erotic way, but stopped himself. If he aroused Justin, his husband would end up in their bathroom masturbating instead of getting dressed. 'Though watching him jack off here in bed doesn't sound too bad.' Brian smiled to himself, running his finger over the tight muscles in Justin's stomach. He shook his head and tilted it, admiring Justin in a less than subtle way. "Come on Just, baby, you have to get up. I need to give Angel his bath and you need to change Autumn's diaper and get her dressed." Brian whined, pressing his hand against Justin's stomach to shake him. Before Justin could speak or complain again, the door to their bedroom swung up and Angel stumbled into the room. He was only clad in a diaper with a stuffed Tigger doll in his hand. "Baby up! Baby up!" Angel bellowed, running toward Brian. Brian turned to Angel with a mild smile as Angel stopped at him, tugging on his jeans with excitement. "Is Ava up, Timber?" Brian asked, scooping Angel up in his arms. Angel nodded happily, standing up in his father's lap. "Ava up!" Angel exclaimed gleefully. Brian smiled at him before placing a quick kiss on his forehead. "Okay, how about you go back to your room and wait for me to come in. I'm going to make Daddy get up and then I'm going to give you a bath." Brian suggested, lowering Angel back to the floor. Angel's dreamy blue eyes lit up and his smile never faded. "Bubbles?" Angel questioned with a wide grin. Brian tried not to laugh, but it came out. He scratched the side of his head before replying, "Yeah Timber, you can have bubbles." "Yeah!" Angel screeched out, dashing out of the room. Brian giggled softly as he watched his son exit the room. He turned his body back to Justin and found his husband laying on his side, an endearing smile creasing his lips. "Can I get a morning kiss?" Justin requested, laying a hand on Brian's clothed leg. Brian smiled back at him, knowing his husband would comply with his wishes. "Anything baby." Brian whispered, leaning down. He crushed his lips against Justin's, tasting the sweetness he had been deprived of for hours. His tongue tentatively licked Justin's lower lip, needing to sample the sweetness of Justin's lips. He controlled the pace and kept it mild and sweet because he knew that's what they both needed in the early morning hours. They didn't need anything passionate or rushed because it would lead to something they didn't have time for. 'Don't have time for? God, it's like we're in our thirties already. When we weren't parents, we could fuck for hours and still have time to go to work. Now? Gotta take care of the kids and clean up and take care of the dogs and forget about sex becuase we can't do that until nighttime when everyone's sleep.' Brian thought to himself, drawing back from the kiss. He licks his lips and then sighs, looking down at the sheets with disappointment. Justin runs his hand up to Brian's hip and Brian smiles kindly. His husband wants more attention and all he can do is drown in his thoughts. He lifts his eyes and Justin's eyes catch him, catch his attention and he feels no need to worry about what they used to do because he knows what they still can do. 'If I can... yeah, that's what I'll do. Our anniversary will be when I take us back to the old days.' Brian thought with a grin. He laid his hand on Justin's and gave it a light squeeze. "I bet Autumn's just dying for me to change her diaper now." Justin whispered, his fingers slipping under Brian's shirt and pushing down the side of his jeans, fingers tracing over the curve of Brian's hip. Brian nodded with timid eyes. "And I bet Angel is having a fit because I haven't come to give him his bath yet." Brian noted. He leaned down and brushed his nose against Justin's bare shoulder. He pressed a small kiss there before opening his mouth against the smooth skin. He lightly drug his teeth over the skin and he was sure he felt Justin shiver. 'Don't worry baby, I'll take care of that later.' Brian told himself, knowing Justin was feeling loved, adored and aroused all at the same time. "Love you Bean." Brian whispered against the skin before kissing it. He felt a hand brush over his hair, ruffling it in the most gentle way. "I love you too Rocky." Justin whispered back and Brian's heart sunk because it was too much. Just the way Justin's voice didn't hide anything, it showed Brian everything he was scared to show himself. 'Who needs the sex when the love is this damn good.' Brian told himself, pulling away from Justin. Justin sat up in the bed even more and yawned again. He scratched the top of his head while staring at Brian. 'Don't think about missing him. Don't think about missing him. Don't you dare think about missing him.' Justin told himself, admiring the chiseled features of his husband's face. Who was he kidding? He was going to miss Brian more than anything. He was going to fucking miss him. He would miss those daisy blue eyes, those soft hands, those strong arms, that comfortable stare they shared, that toned body, that thick penis, the way he spoke and Brian. He was going to miss his Brian. "What do you want for breakfast?" Brian asked, scooting off the bed. Justin sucked in his lower lip and watched Brian move, watched him stand from the bed. "Ce-Cereal.." Justin stuttered out, choking on his hidden tears. He was thankful Brian ignored the way he spoke. He had asked Brian to do that. He had asked Brian to ignore his pain because he didn't want to breakdown and he didn't want to cry everyday on tour. But Justin knew he was already going to do that. A storm burned in his heart as he watched Brian stroll out of the room. "Dad!" Angel bellowed out and Justin wanted to smile when he heard Brian laugh, but he couldn't. "I'm coming Timber." Brian called back, continuing his walk out of the room. Justin pulled his legs up to his body and pulled a pillow to his chest, resting his chin on the pillow. He withheld strong tears as he rocked back and forth. 'Don't fucking miss him.' Justin warned himself as the tears burned his eyes. The aching sound of his daughter crying stirred him from his musings and he sighed lowly. "I'm on my way Autumn." Justin said, tossing the pillow to one side. He wouldn't deny his daughter anymore time because that was all he had. All Justin had was time. Justin held Angel's hand tightly as they walked through one of the many buildings in the WEG Complex. He adjusted the backpack on his shoulder while humming a song he had written with his friend, Robin Wiley, with his husband in mind. He nodded toward several of the staff as they passed him, offering a jolly smile that disguised his exhaustion. "Are you tired yet?" Justin asked, glancing down to his son as Angel dragged his feet along the ground. Angel shook his head slowly, looking up at his father with wearry eyes. "Sleepy?" Justin questioned, allowing his son to set the pace at which they strolled. "No." Angel responded with a small voice, keeping his head forward. "Hungry little man?" Justin inquired, searching for an answer to his son's sudden shyness. "Uh-uh." Angel replied, again looking up at his father with docile eyes. Justin gradually stopped their walk and reached downward, scooping Angel up into his arms. "What's wrong Bastian?" Justin asked, starting the walk again with Angel nestled into his arms. Angel rested his chin on Justin's shoulder, looking around with wonder. "Daddy go bye-bye." he said sadly. Justin sighed softly, rubbing his son's back with a gentle touch. 'There's no way I can tell myself not to miss this little guy.' Justin gripped. He took a quick turn down a hallway and hastened his walk. "Daddy won't be gone long Bastian. I promise. You'll have Dad and Lea and your new baby sister to keep you happy. And I will definitely be with you on your birthday." Justin informed his son as he drew nearer to the rehearsal hall. "Sing Daddy." Angel requested, lifting his head from Justin's shoulder. He brushed one of his small hands over Justin's cheek and Justin swallowed his agony. 'Don't fucking do it.' he told himself and it was all he could do from losing it in front of his son. "I will in a minute Bastian." Justin replied with a strained voice. He pushed open the door of the rehearsal hall and pushed out a smile as he walked in. "It's about frickin' time." Chris called out as Justin slid into the large room. Justin eyed Chris with a small grin, watching the older man stretch near the wall-length mirror that faced the front of the hall. "Sorry I'm a little late." Justin said weakly, walking toward one of the chairs that sat in the back of the room. "Try a half-hour late Justin." JC corrected him in a stern tone. Justin rolled his eyes promptly, far from ready to deal with his friend's naturally uptight nature. "Hel-lo Papa Littrell!" Joey shouted from the otherside of the room, waving wildly to his friend. Justin laughed lowly, waving back to Joey as he sat Angel down in a chair. He glanced over to Lance, who sat next to Angel while fixing his shoe. "Hey Lance." Justin said softly, kneling down on the floor to tighten the laces on his own shoes. "Hey Just. Hey Angel." Lance responded, looking up with a grand smile. Justin glanced up to his son and watched a kind smile wash over his lips. "Can you say 'Hi' to Uncle Lance, Bastian?" Justin asked as Lance patted Angel's head. "Hi." Angel said quietly, ducking his head after the words left his lips. Lance glanced at Justin curiously, concerned for the child written into his eyes. "I'll tell ya later." Justin said flatly, standing to his feet and stretching. "You owe me twenty minutes after rehearsal Littrell for thinking you can just pop in here at any time." Wade Robson, the group's choreographer and friend, said joyfully as he whizzed by Justin. He briskly lifted Angel into his arms with an ecstatic grin on his lips. "But I decided not to keep you here for thirty minutes because you brought my favorite nephew in the entire world!" Wade laughed, swinging the elated child around in his arms. Justin watched his bleached-blonde friend toy with his son and was thankful someone made Angel smile. "Thanks Wade. Next time, I'll just drive ninety the whole way." Justin joked, dropping his backpack on the chair Angel once sat in. "Whatever you have to do to get here is fine with me. Just don't hurt this little guy on the way there." Wade replied while making silly faces for Angel. Angel giggled pleasently in his arms. He tugged on Wade's hair with joy before glancing over to his smiling father, offering him a unique grin. "I'd never let him get hurt." Justin said almost mutedly, crossing his arms and admiring his son freely. "All right guys, let's get lined up and rehearse 'Two Of Us' real quick for a warm-up." Wade advised, carrying Angel to the front of the large room. "A warm-up? That's practically a whole workout." Chris complained lightly, taking small steps to the middle of the room. "What was that Chris?" Wade questioned with sharp eyes. He placed Angel on the floor next to his feet, letting the child fiddle with a few toys Joey had spread across the front of the room. "Nothing." Chris muttered back, pulling the visor on his head lower to cloud his eyes. Wade smiled deviously, knowing none of the men in *NSYNC dared questioned his authority as a choreographer. "Nothing but pennies in my pocket..." Justin sung as he skipped to the front of the group. He bobbed his head to a beat in his head while tying a bandanna over his buzzed hair. "That song kicks ass." Chris noted as he stretched his arms. Justin nodded happily, continuing to move his body to the tune he hummed. "Yeah, Kelly likes it." Joey commented as he found his place behind and to the right of Chris. "God." Lance groaned loudly, rolling his eyes when his friend spoke. Justin turned to look at his friend curiously. He arched his brow as Lance folded his arms and shot a disturbed look his way. He rotated his head in Chris' direction before scooting closer to his friend. "What's up with that?" Justin asked lowly, motioning his head toward Lance. Chris sighed faintly and scratched the top of his head. "Lance is rather pissed off about this whole Joey and Kelly thing. He says he can deal with Joey and Britney being broken up and trying to move on, but he feels it's total disrespect for Joey to date the girl that he cheated on Britney with." Chris explained with a low tone. It didn't take much thought for Justin to know why Lance felt so strong about Joey's situation. It was too obvious to him. It wasn't Britney and Joey, it was Lance and JC. It was the fact that JC ended up with Nick after he betrayed Lance by cheating on him with Nick. It was the unresolved feelings that left Lance still disturbed by the couple and still slightly awkward toward his longtime friend. Justin let his thoughts disperse when he heard the soft sound of JC clearing his throat. He glanced to his left to see his friend standing near him, a meek frown on his face. "You know, you should've left Angel at home with Brian. I know you want to spend time with him before we head out on tour, but he distracts you when you rehearse." JC noted. He moved to his spot in the dance floor while Justin moved to his own spot. "I can do these steps in my sleep." Justin said calmly, shaking out his shirt. He felt JC's stare still on him and a sigh broke through his lips. "Chris didn't bring Kaleb." JC said insensitively, his tone changing slightly. "And I brought Angel. What's the problem?" Justin asked, raising his voice without hesitation. "Hey! Cut it out, all of you. Save it for when you go on tour. Right now, me and my little guy here don't want to hear all of this. So how 'bout you get in your positions and get ready to rehearse, okay?" Wade snapped loudly, leaving all of the members of *NSYNC silent and still. The way his cheeks flushed red, his eyes narrowed and his brow dropped left everyone fearful. They didn't like seeing this side of Wade. In fact, they hated it. "Now, let's do the 'Two of Us' on three and you had better be tight with it or I'm really going to blow my lid." Wade grumbled, strolling over to the stereo system. They all stayed quiet and in line, ready for the beat to kick in and ready to work their hardest to get all the dance moves right because none of them wanted to see that side of Wade again. Sweat dripped from pores, breaths were heavy, the air was thick with manly scents, and the room was filled with a little more laughter and a little less tension and anger. Without a doubt, it was the setting for a rehearsal, one that had already dragged on for more than a few hours and everyone seemed wearry but still able. They all thought that maybe Wade's tyranny would alleviate and they'd be able to rest for a moment, maybe in-between songs, but it wasn't that easy. It was back-to-back performances for at least five songs before they caught a breather, a real minute to remember their names and where the world began and ended. With his head titled back in divine pleasure, Justin laughed as Wade and Joey joked about their recent exploits at a local club. This was his way of not thinking of Brian. It was his dip into the well of joy under the golden sun when he knew he should be cuddling up to his lonesome thoughts and dealing with the pain that carried them through his heart. That bigger piece of him, that piece that held Brian, stayed silent and unresting as he laughed at the way his friends mocked each other. His eyes were lined with tears of happiness when he knew he should release the ones that were coated in sadness. "You guys are fools." he chuckled out, wiping away the cheeks as his sore jaw rested and his deep red face began to regain its true color. His solid, joyful blue eyes glanced up in time to see a lone figure slink into the almost too loud rehearsal hall. He scrubbed the palm of his hand acorss the back of his head and cocked an eyebrow up in interest. He watched the lone man, a man of good stature and looks that belonged to a man of high class and sensitivity, cross the room with careful footsteps and a small smile on his lips. Justin merely acknowledged him with a small nod, briefly winking at him as he hugged Lance. 'I wonder if we'll see him a lot on tour?' Justin wondered as he eyed Bryce Winters, a friend and Lance's boyfriend, with careful eyes. He thought no more on the subject as he watched his friends embrace and kiss and embrace more and freely express their divine care for each other. "Oh, God, this is so sickening. The Lance-ster is so head over heels is sickening." Joey groaned, playfully covering his eyes with one hand while slouching in his chair. Justin laughed lowly, swirling the water in his bottle around as he bobbed his head to the sound of a song filtering into the rehearsal hall. "Is he dancing? Without direction?" Wade asked quietly, holding a hand in front of his face while the other hand hid behind it, gesturing toward Lance and Bryce. Joey blinked his eyes momentarily and then crooked his head to the side. "Oh, for the love of God, no." Joey groaned lowly, gawking at Lance freely. There was movement. A little shake of the hips, quick footwork, and a simple thrust that didn't look too much like an *NSYNC dance but probably something Lance saw Justin or Wade do at a club. It was nothing they thought Lance knew naturally. But there he was, doing it. He was shaking his hips, moving his feet, and he was dancing with Bryce without care. Joey rolled his head in his friends' direction, a smug grin on his face. "This guy is fucking crazy." Joey whispered loud enough to reach over the music. Justin smiled lightly, keeping his eyes on Lance as his friend danced. "He's got some rhythm goin'. Still looks like a mixture of Billy Ray Cyrus and a Backstreet Boy, but he's got some funk up in that country ass of his." Justin commented, broadening his crooked grin. He listened to Joey's rough laugh bubble over. "Shake ya ass!" Wade called out, coaxing his friend on as Justin stood, stretching some as he did. He nodded his head with the melody, catching onto the somewhat retro beat as it knocked in the speakers and gave him a reason to want to assist his friend. When I first saw you, I couldn't believe The way your smiled took the breath out of me (The breath out of me) And maybe I'm seeing things But if it's real, don't wake me up from this dream You remind of a love I knew Feels so weird, it must be deja vu You remind me but I ain't got a clue Boy, I'm so glad I found you Lance felt a hand on his hip and another hand guiding one of his to Bryce's hip. He glanced over his shoulder with a foolish grin, his plae green eyes taking Justin's kind glow. "Keep going." Justin insisted, not allowing Lance to slow up. Lance took shaky steps forward as Justin pushed him closer to his boyfriend. He let his eyes linger in the passion that existed in Bryce's. Beauty was never interpreted so well. Bryce's regal smile kept him focused as he slowly ground his hips against Bryce's, led by Justin's careful assistance. "You've got to be cool but sensual about it. This is your boyfriend... don't be afraid of him." Justin coached him, resting both hands on Lance's hips to instruct him. Lance laughed softly, mainly from embarrassment and foolish pride. His face flustered and his smile got carried away, but Bryce kept him in a state of assurance. A part of him wanted to deny that the moment was being shaped in Bryce's eyes, but everytime the light flickered in Bryce's soft eyes and he felt Bryce grind a little more forcefully, he knew it was beyond real. He was cloaked in a weave of bliss as Bryce's arms drapped around his neck. What else was there? He needed nothing else. Just to be there with Bryce. It felt weird, knowing Justin was behind, sorta like a scene from 'Dirty Dancing,' but he ignored all of that when Bryce's head titlted and leaned forward and he felt himself incline and that was the blessing his soul desired. I never thought I could love again But then you came and changed something within (I'm so confused) I'm so confused cause you're not the same But there's something special that reminds me It's the way you walk and the way you talk And you really got style It's the way you move and the way you groove And I love your smile (I love your smile) "I think that boy's got it!" Justin cheered as he walked backwards toward the others, a smug smirk creasing his pouty red lips. "He's either on his way to being a quality dancer or a really bad stripper." Wade agreed teasingly, clapping as he watched Bryce and Lance kiss and dance int the middle of the floor. Joey lifted Angel into his lap and nodded, staying quiet as he watched the two. 'You might hate me for what I did to Britney, but as long as you hang onto what you've got, then I won't be mad at you Lance.' Joey said mentally, stroking Angel's shoulder as he watched Bryce and Lance in peace. I, I cannot figure it out I ain't got a clue I'm so confused about how I feel Cause I'm really feelin' you Lance lost himself in those eyes as he combed his fingers through Bryce's gelled hair. He brushed his fingertip[s over the ends of Bryce's dirty blonde hair and found himself mouthing the words to Bryce quietly. "I love you Jamesy." Bryce said quietly, pulling in until he rested his chin on Lance's shoulder. Lance traced his hand up Bryce's spine and smiled. "I can't even explain to you all the things I love about you Bryce." Lance said, nuzzling his cheek to his lover's head. He listened to a soft, calming sigh and whispered a silent prayer. "You don't have to James. It's right there..." Bryce said, pulling back from Lance. Lance looked on him curiously. He watched as Bryce lifted his hand and ran a finger under his eye. "In your eyes." Bryce whispered before tracing his finger lower, over Lance's nose and then his lips. "Your lips, they tell me." Bryce added, watching his own finger as it traced the smooth contours of Lance's pinkish lips. He felt the tip of Lance's tongue lick at his finger as Lance moistioned his lips. "Your voice sings it and your moans tell me at night." Bryce smiled lightly, letting his eyes drift up to meet Lance's. He watched the blush shatter throughout Lance's cheeks. "Do my hands tell you too?" Lance wondered, brushing his hands under the tail of Bryce's shirt to caress his smooth back. He felt muscles, flesh, tenderness, and Bryce without thinking. Bryce nodded, angels whispering beauty across his face as he felt Lance caress him. "They express words through your fingertips, your palms, your knucles... everywhere." Bryce said, tilting his head up. He felt a small kiss on his chin and the heat of Lance's face. He felt the love. It's the way you walk and the way you talk And you really got style It's the way you move and the way you groove And I love your smile (I love your smile) You remind of a love I knew Feels so weird, it must be deja vu You remind me but I ain't got a clue Boy, I'm so glad I found you Lidded eyes and a tight expression made his face almost undesirable, but so mysterious and yet so angered. He scratched the thin strip of hair that represented his goatee. He dared not to let anyone discover his thoughts, but it was becoming too obvious as he stared upon Lance and Bryce. It was something that he still hadn't fully adjusted to or even understood. 'They tell you to just let this shit fly, but you know Lance. This ain't him. This is just... it's an illusion.' he told himself, crumpling a towel in his hands as he watched them with strict concentration. He had to turn his head away, though he knew he was going to look again. It burned too much not to. It was just a little too easy to stay down, stay less than what he thought he was because knowing it was that simple to get over him was so hard to comprehend. Nikki and Justin did it. They were able to continue on and even now, they were able to try and stay friends with him and still prove they didn't need him. But Lance was different. Lance was always different for him. A phone rang nearby. His phone rang. He quickly yanked it out of his bag and sighed loudly. Escape. The name on the caller ID beckoned him to escape and it was something he had to take. An open door, a way out of thinking about what he knew he should not think about. He quickly lifted himself from the floor and sped out of the rehearsal hall. He didn't care if there were eyes on him or wonder about him. He didn't want to hear that song, see those people, or think about any of it anymore. "Hello?" he said raggedly as he stepped into the hall outside of the dance hall. "Baby? Were you dancing?" his husband asked and he smiled. It was a rare smile. Hearing the name he was given was a blessing for his heart. "No, I wasn't dancing Nicky. We're taking a small break." he replied, dragging his fingers through his growing mane of brown hair. "Oh, okay. Are you doing okay Josh?" Nick asked with a slightly concerned voice. "Yeah, baby, I'm fine. Just a little tired, you know, with all these practices and all." JC replied with vibrant blue eyes. He waved nonchalantly to Chris as he began to re-enter the rehearsal area after a running to grab a soda. "Ooh, on the phone with your hubby! Wait 'til I tell Wade!" Chris teased loudly, causing blush to rush JC's face. JC flicked Chris off with a broad grin, sighing lowly. "Hey, I deserve to hear from my baby. They get you all the time." Nick fussed kindly. "I know sweetie. Chris is just being the natural ass that he is." JC remarked, waving his friend away. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. He knows what it's like for us to miss ya'll. If his wife can call, then your husband can call and tell ya how much he wants your ass home." Nick said with a small giggle that touched JC's heart. "And what would I do if I was at home Nicky?" JC questioned with a ginger grin. "Cuddle. Help me cook. Play with the dogs. You name it." Nick replied merrily. "Hmmm, cook? I think you shouldn't be cooking, not after that last fiasco." JC teased his husband, dragging his feet across the ground. He was a high school boy again, madly in love and too young to understand. "Shut up." Nick laughed out. JC ruffled his own hair, licking his thick lips with pleasure. He wasn't sure when it went right, but it did. His marriage just worked suddenly and he felt good about it. He felt like he was coming home for a reason and that was to see his husband. It was to hold his husband, play with his husband, and fall asleep with his husband curled tightly to him. "And what about sex baby? If I was at home, would we do it?" JC asked seductively. "Any position." Nick answered quickly and JC could feel the tight grin in Nick's voice. He didn't even know when the last time he and his husband had sex, but he knew it was good enough to hold him over. Sex was now an experience for him. It was good, damn good and he never forgot it. Maybe marriage was something Nick needed to be stable and JC knew it was the one thing that was finally grounding him. To know he really had someone at home that carried his last name and wore a ring proudly kept him surrounded with positivity. "Okay, baby, we'll do all of those things when I get home." JC stated while leaning against one of the walls in the hall. He let the cool air of the hall dry away his sweat while he craddled the phone between his head and his shoulder. "Well, I'll cook by myself." JC added with grand laughter. "Oh, you're so fucking funny." Nick snorted, a smile dripping through his voice. JC kept his grin plastered on his lips, satisfied with the joy his husband brought him. The feel of a hand tugging at the back of his sweats caused JC to look downward curiously. "Unca C... Unca C..." Angel called out. JC let a grin slither past his lips as he looked upon the toddler. He hunched over and ran a hand over the child's head, giving his attention away freely. "What's up little guy?" JC asked quietly, leering into Angel's spellbinding blue eyes. Angel lifted his arm and quickly pointed toward the rehearsal hall. "Daddy... Unca Joe..." Angel managed to get out with a serious expression crippling his smile. JC groaned and lowered his head. "You've got to be kidding me. Now they're sending the kid out to get me?" JC whined, erecting his body again. He opened his hand, palm up, to Angel. The child happily put his own hand in JC's and quietly let his father's friend guide him back into the rehearsal area. Contrary to belief, and silly folk lore, even male celebrities needed to eat. In fact, some needed to eat, make phone calls, check up on children, and remember what day it was when rehearsing with Wade Robson. Unfortunately, time didn't always permit for those acitivities. However, time stopped for food. Wade couldn't fight his own hunger, though he tried to when watching the men of *NSYNC rehearse their dance steps for 'Saw It Coming.' Sprawled out in different directions on the floor in the rehearsal hall, the men of *NSYNC relished the chance to eat and joke with other in a calmer atmosphere. Sometime closer to eight at night, the guys settled on their different food orders. When the food arrived, courtsey of Wade's sister and Steve Fatone, Bryce disappeared, using a need to speak with representatives about Mandy Moore's upcoming appearances as an excuse to leave his lover with just a kiss. Chris and JC had forgone using their cellular phones to contact their spouses, and even Justin neglected an opportunity to page his husband to feed his son and laugh with his friends. The hard-tudding bass sound of 'Girlfriend' knocked through the room, heads nodding to the beat as it played. JC mimicked a few of the rehearsed dance moves fom the song, knowing it could possibly be in their future stage shows. His eyes drifted to Justin, watching his friend interact cooly with the others. 'It's just that easy, huh? Being friends with them? After all we've done to each other? I just don't get it.' JC thought, turning his eyes downward. He didn't want to look at Justin and think of the past or think of his past with Lance or the arguments he and Joey had shared. He didn't even want to think about his friendship with Chris. It was all too much. Ever since I saw your face Nothing in my life has been the same I walk around just satung your name Without you, my world would end I looked around this whole damn place And everything says you were meant to be... Justin's eyes mirroed his thoughts in a China doll pattern when he gazed up from his son's eyes to see his husband entering the rehearsal hall, Autumn tucked enatly into his arms. He was somewhere between a giggle and a chuckle with JC when Brian infiltrated the room, a wholesome expression holding his face as he walked. "Well look what the cat drug in." Chris remarked as he rolled onto his back, munching on a few chips as he watched Brian advance closer. "If it isn't *NSYNC's second favorite country boy." Joey chimed in, tossing a package of ketchup onto Chris' stomach. "You're our number one and always favorite Lansten." Chris gleamed, viewing his friend from his upside down state. Lance smiled back at him, chewing on a portion of his sandwhich. "Well.. thanks. I'd like to thank the Academy for this prestigious honor and would like to say a big thank you to all the little people that make country bumpkins like me so special." Lance joked, leaning firmly against a nearby wall. The others chuckled lowly as Brian approached Justin. It was evident to the others who Brian wanted to see, but they felt no ill-will. They only watched through the corners of their eyes, waiting and longing to see who would speak first or who would reach for that first touch. It was Justin. He was the first to make the move by standing, dusting off his pants and laying a warm, comforting hand on his husband's forearm. Through a smoky air of love, they were guided by the strings of a guitar that strummed to a melody of pleasure. "Hi." Brian whispered quietly, a grin peeking out of the corners of his mouth. Justin released a crooked smile and replied just as softly: "Hi ya'self." His words fell like soft rain against a summer flower's petals. Nothing else needed to be said. They were crazy for each other. The doctor should've checked them in long ago because there was no hope for recovery. It was embedded in their hearts and no one could estract the root that kept the emotions alive. "Well, I don't know about ya'll, but I'd prefer look at this little sweet pea than watch these two goofs stare at each other for hours." Lance stated, raising himself up to view Autumn. The others cautiously drifted away from their hidden stares to join Lance. Brian carefully let Lance extract Autumn from his arms, eyeing as his daughter gave up no protest to be held by her God-father. "She is a cutie." JC agreed, pushing back the small hat she wore on her head. "Not as adorable as this big guy." Joey cheered while lifting Angel onto his shoulders. "Hey!" Angel called out with a laugh, latching onto Joey's hair with slight fear. He carefully waved to his fathers as Joey carried him to the otherside of the room, trying to keep his balance as Joey carried him. "Aaaw, my boy has got 'em both beat." Chris whined, following Lance as he followed Joey. "Sure Christopher." Wade laughed out, throwing an arm around JC to lead him in the direction of the others. "Don't call me that!" Chris groaned. Eyes settled on each other and no words were spoken. They weren't afraid to speak, but thoughts prevented words from escaping their closed lips. "Hey, do you wanna talk?" Justin asked, offering out his hand to his husband. Brian slowly gazed down to the open palm, everything about it inviting. His eyes lifted and he did not have to work hard to release a smile. "Do you?" Brian returned the question, setting his hand in Justin's. His husband nodded and he didn't need anything more to follow Justin into the hallway. "What's on your mind Bean?" Brian questioned, interlocking his fingers with Justin's. His husband avoided eye contact, finding something on the wall to concentrate on. Justin chewed on his lower lip and sucked in his cheeks. He scratched the top of his head with his free hand, showing all signs of shyness. "Are you worried about me going on tour?" Justin asked with a quiet voice, keeping his eyes hidden. "Hmmm... a little. I know how homesick you can get and I don't want you to be out there, unhappy." Brian replied, shuffling closer to Justin. He watched Justin's head turn and he attempted to catch Justin's eyes. "What about... well, do you think it might be bad like last time?" Justin wondered, hoping to perish thoughts that haunted him. "'Bad'?" Brian pondered Justin's word, unlacing their fingers. He let his hand fall onto Justin's hip, tugging at the shirt Justin wore. He slipped his hand under Justin's shirt and traced the detailed features of Justin's hip. "Do you mean the affair?" Brian questioned his husband with a tighter voice. Justin shyly nodded, securing his eyes on the floor. Brian sighed lowly and massaged Justin's hip, rubbing the soft pad of his fingers over the smooth flesh. He hadn't had those thoughts, had he? He trusted his husband now. He saw nothing between Justin and JC, only space. The opportunities were gone. Sure, Justin was married and a father when he commited his sin, but that was then. Justin couldn't feel the way again. Brian trusted him. "Baby, why would I have those thoughts?" Brian inquired. His hand found Justin's chin and brought their faces to meet, eyes finally opening up to glare. "I.. I don't know." Justin shrugged. "I'm not insecure. I know who my husband is and I know he's definitely learned from his mistake." Brian assured him, brushing his thumb along Justin's goatee. He smoothed down the faintly viewable blonde strands of hair on Justin's chin. He watched the way Justin's eyes lowered in a shy way, leaving him vulnerable yet beautiful. "He's a man of his word. He's going to be there for his son when he goes to school for the first time and he's going to teach his daughter to sing as beautifully as he does. He'll be there with him through every step of my life and I know he's going to let me know he loves me through words, music, actions, and especially through his heart." Brian added, his voice gentle and full of splendor. Justin let a crooked smile cross his lips once more. He batted back foolish tears and twitched his nose. He no longer had a reason to let those pools of hurtful drops of pain slither from his eyes and cover his face in a bath of misery. "You're too beautiful." Justin remarked voice, his voice scratchy and still caught on his swallowed tears. "I think it would be foolish to think JC could even have a drop of that power over you anymore." Brian replied with a faint smile. Justin's hand lifted and traced the soft skin under Brian's eye. He let his fingertips flow down his husband's face until they touched Brian's chiseled cheek. He brushed his thumb over Brian's jaw, feeling prickly hairs growing in. The images of beauty that raced over Brian's face stunned Justin. He unconsciously gasped as he ran his fingers over Brian's thin pink lips, testing his heart with his actions. He found the tip of Brian's nose and explored further upward, caressing the bridge of Brian's nose before brushing his fingers over his husband's eyebrows. "This might sound corny, but I truly believe that I found the perfect man." Justin whispered while rubbing Brian's temple. His husband giggled quietly and life flooded into his soul. "Nothing about my love for you is practiced or rehearsed baby." Brian chimed, grabbing Justin's wrist and lowering his hand. He kissed the back of Justin's hand and smiled like a gentleman. "Dance with me?" The question was uttered from Justin's lips before he knew he was saying. It was something he wanted. He desired it and craved it more than he knew. To feel those hands on him and to know he could be held and loved in motion without fear of being seen comforted him in a deeper part of his heart. He needed it. When he grabbed Brian's hand and led him back into that rehearsal hall, he knew he was going to take what he wanted. The peaceful look in Brian's eyes aided him. He stood in the middle of the room with Brian and could feel every eye on him. He didn't fret or step back. He guided Brian's hands to his hips and smiled sweetly at him. His eyes strayed momentarily from Brian to Chris as Chris increased the volume on the stereo system, a soft as rain ballad blazing through the room. A symphony of beauty, constructed through a symphony, a piano and flutes, clouded the room in a mist of love. The others dropped away and Justin concentrated on Brian and Brian only. His body moved with Brian's, pressed together and joined by the sound of their hearts only. His arms rested around Brian's neck, his fingers find their way through the back of Brian's hair. It wasn't possible for a ballad to fit their moment, until Chris played that song. They could've searched years, but something about that song spoke to them. Something about that slow melody caused them to dance in a spotlight of perfection. Something about that music made Brian caress Justin's hips and stare into his eyes, not searching, but knowing love existed and breathed in them. There was something about that voice that injected shivers through Justin's body and caused him to tilt his head, admiring a gentlier face that Brian possessed. Your face I'm still not over your face Headlights break through the rain Over London's winter lights I came all the way here tonight To look in your eyes I came all the way here tonight Just to see you Your face It holds me over; your face It wipes away the rain With a hundred summer skies And everytime I talk to you It's like I'm alright And everytime I talk to you I get a little closer to life Brian guided his hand up, Justin's shirt skirting up with the motion of his husband's hand. Skin was bared and Brian traced back downward, lightly brushing his fingertips over the soft, exposed flesh. Brian licked his lips nonchalantly when viewing Justin's half-open eyes, the touch relocating Justin's mind into a zone of pleasure. Brian leaned his head in closer and pressed his body further against Justin's. He moved his feet easily across the ground, leading Justin as they danced. He let his breath wash over Justin's face before his lips placed a small kiss on Justin's nose. Justin let an arm fall down, finding the small of Brian's back. The erection growing in his pants rocked against Brian's already well-formed one. He stiffled a moan as Brian crept the tips of his fingers into the side of his pants. He took in the brilliance of Brian's eyes and the magnificence of his wet lips. He couldn't stop himself from leaning forward to lay a kiss on those lips, watching those eyes close momentarily when full contact was made. He felt himself shift on the balls of his feet and he knew Brian was turning them, a quick turn, a spin that was skilled. He felt Brian wedge a knee between his legs and lift it slightly, brushing it along the strained erection. He moan ever so lightly into the kiss, tongues almost escaping mouths to lick elsewhere. But you are the face That Heaven shown me When I needed someone Someone to love And stay, you showed me The quiet candle love Behind your face Justin slowed his breathing when hearing a coo and then a shout. "Dip him! Dip him!" Chris called out, breaking through the melody that burned in Justin's ears. He felt Brian giggle against his lips and Justin did not silence a smile. He let his lips part from Brian's and he searched for Brian's eyes again, those small eyes that surrounded him in bliss. "Work it Justin, work it boy." Joey cheered with a lisp, pulling more laughter from the others. Justin licked his lips, once again tasting the flavor of his husband's lips and tongue. He pulled up Brian's shirt and let his palm rest against the naked skin on Brian's back. "Be cool but sensual about it." Lance chimed in, leading Justin to a laughter that died to escape from his body. Brian raised his hands again until they rested on Justin's hips, reliving life through Justin's deep blue eyes. "Think we should stop now?" Brian asked with a sincere smile. Justin leaned in and rested his head on Brian's shoulder, breathing in Brian's soapy scent. "No. I don't want to." Justin replied lowly, feeling Brian's strong arms wrap around him. He rubbed Brian's shoulder and let the melody take them further into their dance of love. Your face Let me show the world your face All the stars and suns above are jealous In its light You steal the sky with them And bring it aside You steal the sky with them And bring it to life Justin lifted his head and let his chin rest on his husband's shoulder. His eyes were met by JC's mysterious blues. They stared at each other uncomfortably. Justin swallowed hard and sighed, seeking understanding in JC's eyes. Was it ever meant to work? So many years ago, Justin knew a look like that meant jealousy, but now, it was different. JC was supposed to be his friend. JC was supposed to support him through any endeavor. Yet, they weren't tweleve and sixteen anymore. Justin was twenty, married with two children, and JC was twenty-four, somewhere between being married and being the most depressed person Justin knew. A look like that meant things had changed, but when a smile eased across JC's face, Justin knew that look meant hope for a recovery. 'Cause you are the face That Heaven showed me When I needed someone Someone to love Your faith, you showed me The quiet candle love Behind your face The quiet candle love behind your face The music died out slowly and Brian pulled back from Justin with a grand smile. He heard the door creak open and his eyes shifted from Justin only for a moment, watching Britney strut into the rehearsal hall with a tepid grin. "Aren't you guys supposed to be rehearsing?" Britney asked coyly. "She's right. I need to work with Lance and Chris a little bit more on those steps to 'Up Against The Wall.'" Wade agreed, patting Chris' shoulder before walking toward the center of the room. "Thanks a lot Brit'." Lance groaned, passing Autumn off to JC before following Wade. "Sorry." Britney said lowly, shrugging her shoulders helplessly. "Oh my God, I love your music, but you look so much cuter on TV." Chris teased her as he passed. Britney gave him a light shove, surpressing a laugh while folding her arms. "You guys are too much." JC laughed out. He carried Autumn toward the side as Joey stepped closer to Britney, Angel still holding his hand. "So how's your week been Brit'?" Joey asked, his less-than-subtle attempt at small talk pulling a brief smile from Britney. She tossed sections of her blonde hair behind her shoulders before pucking her lips. "It's been pretty good. I've had to do a lot of publicity stuff, but nothing too stressful like rehearsing for a tour or anything." Britney responded, glancing to her left to stare at her ex-boyfriend. He nodded mindlessly, his own eyes focusing on his feet. "Yeah, this has been rough. It's been a hellish week for me." Joey noted, tugging his fingers through his brown hair. Britney's eyebrow arched and her bottom lip tugged out a frown. "What's wrong Joey? Is Wade breakin' you?" Britney asked with a fluent country accent. She listened to a soft chuckle as it escaped Joey's body and a simple smile slipped over her glossy lips. She let her heart meander through dim thoughts of her relationship with Joey, not daring to pull it back into its hollow void of loneliness. "No... not really. I can't take the rehearsals. It's just getting ready for another two and a half month venture on the road that's killing me. I'll be out there alone, with the guys, trying to get my life straight." Joey complained, lifting his head to look into her eyes. Those almond brown eyes softened somewhere between his first words and her first smile. "I think you'll be okay. You've got..." Britney's words were stopped before they were finished. "I broke up with Kelly." Joey managed to get out, his words get but evident and clear. Nothing was going to change her world. Not the press or her family or her stressful career. Even her thoughts about Joey couldn't do it, in the past. Now, it was veering in another direction and she could feel the change. She could hear it in a song. Her life was breaking in slow motion, each piece of shattered glass falling against the ground and shattering into small pieces. His words could hurt her. They always could. When she thought she could make it past him, he constructed another wall that she slammed into and could not break with battered fists. You ought to be ashamed of yourself The way you talk down to me, oh baby And didn't anybody ever teach you to Act more respectfully I'm tellin' you That I'm only human too Don't you realize Look at my face What do you see in my eyes When a part of me just dies "Britney?" Joey asked in a soft voice, laying a hand on her cold shoulder. She did not shift. She stood still with swollen tears welling in her eyes. "You did what?" she creaked out, her bottom lip trying to tremble against her will. "I broke it off with Kelly. I just didn't think the relationship would last throughout this tour and I don't like carrying unwanted baggage around until I find a spot to drop it off." Joey replied, rubbing his thumb along the bare skin of Britney's shoulder. Britney shook her head and looked away from Joey. She couldn't focus on the pain or the stress or the words. She knew she had to think of moving on. It was her chance to show her strength and yet she felt deprived of all of her power. I cry real tears I have real fears I've got a heart that's beating inside Sometimes it breaks And when it aches My eyes cry real tears Real tears, oh no Oh, ho, whoa Britney shrugged away from his touch and forced herself to look at him. "So it's just that easy huh? Love 'em and leave 'em?" Britney questioned, crossing her arms. She saw the discouragement in his eyes and refused to let her anger fade. "I didn't love her Britney. We were just dating and.. and it didn't feel right. It didn't feel like..." Joey sighed and slipped his hands into his pockets. "It didn't feel like what? Didn't feel like it did when you were with me?" Britney asked, her voice strickened with disgust. Joey shrugged before replying, "Yeah." Britney let her eyes sting with flustered tears paining her. "I can't believe you have the nerve to sit here and say this to me. You fucking left me for her and now, just because she's not like me, you think it's cool to dump her and tell me like I'm going to hop back on that train?" Britney hissed out. She knew he wouldn't answer immediately and she knew he wasn't expecting those words from her, but she willing said them for the sake of her mind, if not her heart. You treat me like you think I'm made of stone Like when I'm cut, I don't bleed, oh baby Don't you know that I'm just flesh and bones So what do you want from me I'm tellin' you That I'm only human too Don't you realize Look at my face What do you see in my eyes When a part of me just dies "Britney, I'm just being upfront with you. I don't want you to hear it through the grapevyne and think I didn't have enough courage to let you know." Joey explained with a kinder voice, hoping to dissolve the anger racing through Britney. He, again, laid a hand on Britney's shoulder, seeking the softness he once knew so well. Britney fought her tears. She fought with everything she had. She didn't want the message to be so clear. She wanted him back. She wanted him back more than she knew, but not like that. She didn't want to fall back into that pool of emotions again knowing he might not reach out his hand to save her. How was she to know it was real? Illusions were always pulling her from the road she needed to walk. She couldn't be so fooled again. "I didn't need to know Joey. I'm just your ex-girlfriend, someone that once knew your heart but now feels like a complete stranger." Britney remarked, licking her lips to taste a salty tear. She had lost it. She had let a single fall, fall for him to see. She hated when he saw her weaknesses. She wasn't frail. She was never soft. She was strong. She was brave and she did not cry. Britney did not cry, unless Joey caused her to. There's something called the golden rule Someday you'll wish you followed it more You've been the fool My love is truer than any love you will find But I'm worth so much more and so is my time I cry I cry real tears I have real fears I've got a heart that's beating inside Sometimes it breaks And when it aches My eyes cry real tears She sat in an office, collecting her thoughts, wiping away her tears, fighting her feelings. She didn't sit alone. She had her comfort, she had her friend. She had the one person she knew would be there for her when she dealt with these feelings. She had Justin. At times, she wished he would walk away and let her suffer, let her tears burry her. She wished he would stay by Brian's side instead of always running to her's. But she knew Justin wasn't capable of it. He wasn't capable of abandoning a friend and he wasn't capable of ignoring her. They were too close, almost like brother and sister. For each other, they'd do almost anything and that's why she knew he was there. She sniffled lowly, running her hand over a few stacked papers on the desk. Her hair was strung up in a messy, but well placed ponytail. Her hands shook occasionally from frustration, but she had managed to control her bottom lip. Mascara had left stains on her cheeks, but she didn't care. If she was going to cry, she was going to make it known that she did. "You know, it's not fair. I'm Britney. Britney doesn't cry over boyfriends. She recovers, stays single for awhile and then gets a new guy. That's just how it works." Britney gushed, wiping away more tears as they slide from her eyes. She sucked in her bottom lip and sighed helplessly. She looked up to Justin and watched him nod in the way a friend would. She shook her head, biting out a small smile. She knew he did it to entertain her. She could already read his thoughts. "Is that what you did with me?" Justin asked, leaning forward in his chair. He laid a hand on her forearm in a comforting way. Britney let a giggle pass through her lips, her tears no longer paining her. "You know it wasn't. I cried like a baby over you." Britney responded, relaxing under her friend's touch. "And that's why you're having such a hard time with Joey. You love him so much, even if you're not with him. Getting over him won't ever be that easy." Justin declared, shifting forward even more in his chair. The fuzzy sound of a song trying to be heard over Britney's sighs and whimpers drew Justin's attention away from her. He reached toward the radio on the corner of the desk and adjusted the volume slightly, letting the song sprinkle through the room. He ran his other hand up Britney's arm and over her shoulder, finding her eyes too painful to look at. He breathed a smile onto his own face, waiting for one to bloom on her's. Who needs to feel that way Who needs those words to say Who wants to give their heart To watch love fade away Cause I made up my mind I didn't want to know Why should I find a love that isn't here to stay Justin drew circles across his friend's shoulder. He watched the way his finger moved perfectly against her soft skin and thought of how it felt to ache like that. He thought of how she painted a perfect portrait of someone who truly knew the meaning of heartbroken. It wasn't a role she was playing. She wasn't seeking an award for being so dramatic. She was this sensitive person. She always wore the cloak of a hard rock, but Justin knew this part too well. He knew she couldn't compose herself around him because he couldn't when she was around. It was their reality. "I know you're a strong girl Britney. You don't need a man, but you love this one. Stop fighting it." Justin requested, resting his palm flatly against her shoulder. He watched her slip a few strands of her hair behind her ear and shift uncomfortably in her chair. "It's bull, Justin." Britney fussed lowly, keeping her eyes on the desk. She watched her own hands move nervously over the objects on the desk. "What's bull is you trying to act as if it's not real." Justin insisted with a sincere tone. 'I know.' Britney thought to herself, letting her bottom lip stick out as her eyes batted back proud tears. I wasn't waiting until you came along And now I need you to tell me Where my heart belongs But I don't wanna fall in love 'Til I fall in love with you And you show me what my heart already knew I don't wanna fall in love 'Til I know the love is true Cause I need you to feel the way I do When I give my heart to you Britney sighed incouragibly and flopped back in her chair. "It isn't fair though. JC has Nick and Chris has Meelah. Lance even has Bryce and all the girls from Innosense have someone. You have Brian and the kids." Britney whined, pulling back her bangs. She squinted her deep brown eyes and sniffled lowly. She turned her head in her friend's direction, seeking understanding or advice. "I was with Joey before any of them had the thought of dating someone. It was just you and Brian, AJ and Amanda, and Nick and Lance. You see how the last two relationships ended. Why don't I deserve to be married to the man I dated for two years? Shouldn't I be the one with a child and not Chris and Meelah or AJ and Amanda? Why the fuck does poor old Britney have to have the suck ass relationship while the rest of them fuck around for a few months and end up either married with children or in a serious relationship?" Britney complained, tears of dissatisfaction burning her eyes once more. Justin slid out of his chair and wrapped his arms around Britney. She did deserve to be the young married mother with the white picket fence. Somewhere in his dreams, he saw himself walking with his son and daughter, Britney with her own child walking next to them. He always visioned he and his friend exchanging war stories from parenthood and intimate details about their husbands. It was something out of Will & Grace, but Justin denied himself that much flambouyancy. He strung his fingers through the loose strands of her hair and hushed her. He rocked her safely in his arms and let her tears soak up a part of his skin. "It's going to be all right. You're going to be all right because you're tougher than this. Brit', you don't need to worry about everyone else. You're you and you will get your blessings with time." Justin assured her in a hushed voice. I've seen the tears they cry When it's time for goodbye I didn't wanna be the one who's asking why I didn't think that I would ever feel so strong But now I know that I was wrong Britney pulled away from Justin. She briskly wiped away her tears and shook her head. "You're damn right. I'm a confident, sexy, single female." Britney asserted, yanking her hair from the ponytail she wore. "Okay, wait, now you sound like Mya." Justin joked, nudging Britney's side. Britney giggled lightly, the red flushing her cheeks caused by laughter instead of pain. She gave Justin's head a light shove, a sisterly one. She had never found such comfort in another man and she knew she never would. He was what gave her that rock hard strength. He was her friend, her confidant, her Justin. Now I believe it's worth the chance To find a love to last For all my life Give me a sign so I will always know this love is right This love is right, oh But I don't wanna fall in love 'Til I fall in love with you And you show me what my heart already knew I don't wanna fall in love 'Til I know the love is true Cause I need you to feel the way I do When I give my heart to you The door to the office clicked open and Joey peeped his head in, an uncertain smile on his lips. He spied the awkward expressions molding Britney and Justin's faces as they stared at him. "Uhm, sorry, I don't mean to break up this 'moment' and all, but everyone's starting to pull out of here for the day." Joey remarked, pushing the door open more to step inside. Justin licked his slightly chapped pink lips and nodded, finding a seat in his chair again. Britney straightened her shirt and quickly fixed her hair into another sloppy ponytail. She ran her hands over her faded jeans, ridding them of that clammy feeling. "I thought that maybe, if it's okay with you, Justin, that I could take Autumn and Angel out for ice cream with Britney." Joey petitioned, glancing back and forth between his friends. Justin cleared his throat quietly before glaring at Britney. He was uncertain of her thoughts, but he knew she wasn't disregarding the proposal. Somewhere, she wanted that. She wanted to imagine they were her kids and she was sharing a quiet moment with her Joey. "It's fine with me. Just don't keep the kids out too late." Justin agreed. Joey brought his eyes down to Britney, watching her with wonder. He knew she had been crying. He knew they had talked and the conversation revolved around him. He felt it in the room. The tension was too strong. He could hear the music still cradling through the air. "You coming Brit'?" Joey questioned, shveling his hands into his pockets. Britney sniffled quickly before smiling at Justin. "Sure Joe." she replied confidently, a small crack in her voice. Justin nodded at her with an equal smile. "Well come on then. And turn off that sappy music." Joey insisted, a proud grin fizzling on his lips. Britney withheld a small snicker while standing. "Don't deny it." Justin whispered to his friend as she lifted her purse from th table. He watched her reach inside of her purse and pull out a hair-tie and her cheap sunglasses. Britney pulled all of her hair back into a tighter, creative ponytail and slipped on her sunglasses. "I won't." she whispered back and followed Joey out of the office, a secure grin on her less-than-glossy lips. Justin stretched his arms slowly in front of the large mirror at the front of the rehearsal hall. In his mind, he thought over a few of the steps to 'Up Against The Wall,' trying to pattern his feet to the melody. His eyes occasionally watched Brian moving around in the background, fiddling with the stereo as Justin flexed his muscles. 'Why am I still here? Wade's gone for the day. He didn't even have enough energy to stay here with me for my extra twenty minutes of rehearsal.' Justin thought to himself, bending over to stretch his back and leg muscles. "You know, this is a nice view." Brian remarked slyly. Justin lifted his head slightly to glance in the mirror, a foolish grin skating over his lips as he watched Brian stare at his ass. "I bet it is." Justin snickered, continuing to stretch. Justin returned to an erect state, leaning slightly backward to further work the muscles in his back. His eyes squinted curiously as he watched Brian approach him. His eyes followed Brian's shirt as it rose, dangled in the air and then fell quickly to the floor. It perished in a blur of mystery as Justin's blue eyes concentrated on the well-toned muscles in his husband stomach. His focus drifted lower as he watched Brian's hands skillfully unbuckled his belt, never shaking or moving away shyly. Brian wanted something. Justin could see it in Brian's small, desperately blue eyes. It panted like a sly lion, eyeing its prey with devious intent. It burned Justin to look too deep, his fear rushing over him. It was that nervous fear that always came right before lust. What if they couldn't? What if they did? None of it mattered once lust started dripping painfully slowly through Justin's veins. All he wanted was Brian. In a prefectly beautiful fashion, his heart raced and something moved in his pants. Justin wasn't sure at first. He didn't know if he really knew the song entering the rehearsal hall. He wasn't certain who it was because the beat sounded a little too familiar, but the oddly erotic vocals in the background didn't. He lost count of the song when Brian's hands slithered over his shirt, smoothing it down before ruffling it up. He stop caring when Brian stripped the shirt from his body and pressed his chest against Justin's back. That warmth, soft chest played its own music, Brian's thudding heart beating against Justin's skin. Justin could faintly see Brian's jeans pool at his feet and, somewhere during his walk, Brian had lost his shoes. Brian's hands played melodies over Justin's stomach and chest. He felt muscle with joy and skimmed over hot skin with pleasure. He wish there was someone he could tell. He wanted to reveal all of his secrets to the world. He wished everyone knew how good of a lover his husband was. The way Justin bent forward just barely, brushing his tight ass against Brian's covered crotch, left Brian breathless but full of words to express. It felt so good and so undeniable. He arched his back and pressed his covered erection into the crack of Justin's butt, wedging the material of Justin's boxer-briefs into that space. He walked Justin forward and raced his hands over Justin's well-toned arms, molding his hands with Justin's hands and leading them to the mirror in front of him. He splayed Justin's hands across the mirror and kept his crotch firmly pressed into Justin's backside, grinding ever so lightly. Justin clumsily kicked off his shoes as Brian hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his pants, tugging them downward quickly. Justin smirked proudly when Brian's head bumped into the small of his back. He felt a warm kiss lick over the skin of his back and felt Brian's hands raise up his legs as Brian stood again. "I want you so bad that I can't take it." Brian whispered into his ear, roughly dragging his fingers over Justin's stomach. Justin gasped quietly, leaning his head back until it rested on Brian's shoulder. He kept his hands pressed against the mirror, hoping a bottle of Windex would be somewhere around when they finished. Justin was more than uncertain about Brian's thoughts. He could feel Brian's want and need, but where would it end? Where would it began? He purred quietly as Brian ground his erection against Justin's butt. His head tilted further back and he was greeted by a kiss on the corner of his mouth. "This is getting rather hot baby." Justin panted out. He yelped loduly when Brian's hand made contact with his sealed penis, rubbing the base through the thin material of Justin's boxer-briefs. "It's gonna get so much hotter darlin'." Brian assured Justin with a breathy, seductive country accent. Brian's lips found Justin's, swallowing Justin's next moan while licking his tongue across Justin's perfectly shaped teeth. I wanna kiss you in Paris I wanna hold your hand in Rome I wanna run naked in a rainstorm Make love in a train cross-country You put this in me So now what, so now what? A few soft kisses run their way against the back of Justin's neck as Brian's hand pushes Justin's head forward, causing Justin to stare at his lover and himself in the mirror. A pair of classic white Reebok's sit somewhere in the middle of the room, along with an ivory white T-shirt and some keys and a wallet. Justin can barely make out his own shirt stashed to the side, the word 'White Snake' crumpled in the shirt's tumbled state. Justin's eyes fall half-shut as Brian gropes him just a little harder, leaving a desire on his pouty red lips. He shivers when Brian pulls back, leaving him cold and alone. He can barely see Brian's hands in the mirror but his eyes catch Brian's body as Brian bends over and Justin knows it's to remove his briefs. Justin knows it's because Brian needs to scoot out of his jeans and his briefs. Brian needs to be comfortable and when he steps forward again, Justin knows what it's for. Hot, damp kisses are left across Justin's shoulder as Brian tugs down the back of his boxer-briefs, leaving Justin more than ready to share his body with Brian. "Mmph, uh.." Justin grunts as Brian's other hand runs its way over the shape of Justin's ass. Justin's cock roughly springs free from its entrapment, thudding against Justin's belly. He's ready. His whole body is ready for whatever Brian wants to do. He dips his head and watches the way the precum glistens across the top of his penis. Its flared and red and desperate for Brian's hands or mouth or ass or love. Wanting, needing, waiting For you to justify my love Hoping, praying For you to justify my love Something stirred in Justin's stomach when Brian pet his hips. He had to relax, let the feelings die down slightly. "God, everything about you.. I want to love everything about your body. I wish I could swallow you and taste you forever." Brian whispered to his husband and Justin felt a burst of ecstasy run over his skin, leaving small goosebumps everywhere. His breathing is something he can no longer control. He let the thudding beat of Madonna's song rule him. He pressed back firmly and rubbed his butt over his husband's cock, knowing where Brian wanted to put it. He groaned slowly and sweetly. He knew the sound would turn Brian on. Usually, he wanted slow, sweet love. But the sweat creeping across his forehead and the aching pain in his cock led him in another direction. He wanted it too bad. Justin spread his legs freely for his husband, not having to be asked or instructed. He felt one of Brian's hands tiptoe over the cross tattoo on his arm. His eyes closed for a moment, just a moment to remember his name, before peeking open as Brian kisses his ear and slides a finger down the crack of his ass. There's sweat down there, moisture built up from Justin's desire. Justin gasps and then grunts hard, his throat feeling scratchy after the sensation has rolled out. Sunshine melts inside of him as Brian rubs one of his nipples, plays with it in a way only Brian knows how to. "Ooh, fuck.. mmph, baby..." Justin pants out, his breath leaving foggy imprints across the mirror. His hole flutters open when the tip of Brian's ring finger trails across it. "Can I?" Brian questions. Justin hisses when Brian lightly drags his teeth across his shoulder and tries not to scream out. He regains his vocabulary for a second and is able to groan out, "Don't ever ask. My body is yours Rocky." He focuses on a broad grin on Brian's tin lips. He couldn't help but smile back but his thoughts were still on the heat burning all over his body. I want to know you Not like that I don't wanna be your mother I don't wanna be your sister either I just wanna be lover I wanna be your baby Kiss me, that's right, kiss me Justin affectionately nibbled on Brian's thumbnail, his head cocked to the side while his eyes blinked opened and closed. He couldn't help but roll his hips when Brian pressed down on his hole. His face had scrunched up in that delicately sexy way that Justin could never reinact. It only came when Brian touched him that way. When the tip of Brian's cock was pressed against his hole, Justin sighed lowly and then grunted hard, watching the way Brian's face twisted in the mirror. Damn, he wanted it. He licked his tongue across his dry lips and slumped forward, pushing his ass toward Brian's thick penis. It slipped in and Justin hissed and then groaned. Just the head sat there, holding Justin open as Justin focused on the way Brian's face went slack and then scrunched up in pleasure. "Mmmm, God..." Brian groaned, leaning forward until his chest rested against Justin's back. The sweat now lightly coated their bodies and they fell into that deminsion of uncontrollable bliss. Brian's hand had fallen from Justin's face to his chest, rubbing one of Justin's pinkish nipples with care. "Ooh, shit..." Justin moaned as Brian slid further in, the blistering fire throbbing from Brian's penis igniting a blaze inside of Justin's lower body. Brian's other hand rested on Justin's hip, holding it tightly as he penetrated further into Justin's tense body. "Relax... relax..." Brian insisted, brushing his thumb over Justin's hipbone. He knew his husband heard him. He knew Justin would follow instructions and when he dipped in more, he knew Justin was adjusting. He spread his own legs further, angling himself to hit his lover in the right spots. "Ah.. ah.. ah..." Justin gasped out, his head tilting upward. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut and let his upper lip curl, the pleasure finally seeping into his pores. A hand fell slickly from the mirror, the sweat skating over the surface. He was lost with Brian inside of him. He didn't know why he started to move backward to meet Brian's small jabs, but he didn't fight it. His butt muscles loosened and he freely gave himself to Brian. He released his body to the unending pleasure. Wanting, needing, waiting For you to justify my love Yearning, burning For you to justify my love Brian's fingers trickled over his belly like little orange flowers; soft, velvety, and hard to escape. Justin exhaled heavily, controlling a moan that would threaten to reach over the sound of Madonna's voice. He laid his head back against Brian's shoulder and gained enough strength to look in the mirror and watch his husband. He watched the fingers stroke the skin of his stomach. They circled around his navel and fluttered lower, heading south in a delicate motion. Heat burned over the areas Brian touched as he traced Justin's happy trail. His fingers curled into Justin's patch of sandy brown pubic hair and remained, petting the taut curls with care. Justin resisted closing his eyes again when Brian shifted in him, changing the stroke easily. Brian was a good lover. He was a great lover. He had learned it all through making love to Justin. He knew how fast to go, what spots to run his dick over, the right time to squeeze Justin's hip and dive farther before curving. His hips knew when to slow down and give his husband small, strong jabs. With small, peering eyes, Justin watches his face, the way it scrunches and then relaxes. He watches his red cheeks and the way his mouth won't stay closed. His tongue is almost hanging out and his nose is crinkled. He had to lick his lips because they were too dry, but when his tongue licked over them, they were too hot. He caught his bottom lip trembling and he knew nothing felt as good as this. The way Brian's balls start to rest against his cheeks as Brian tries to go deeper causes Justin's mouth to fall further open and his brow furrows with delight. "Oh.. oh.. oh God, yes..." Justin gasped out, not knowing what else to say. Brian's hand had found its way to Justin's dick and was now jacking it slowly, incredibly slowly. Justin felt his toes curling against the cool ground and he was starting to lose his balance. His hand found the mirror again and he pressed down hard, his head dropping again as he adjusted to a new area of pleasure. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? Talk to me - Tell me your dreams Am I in them? Tell me your fears Are you scared? Tell me your stories I'm not afraid of who you are We can fly Justin felt Brian's lips on the back of his neck. He could feel words coating his skin but he could not hear them. Brian's forehead was slick with sweat and it dripped over Justin's flesh. He arched his back some and felt Brian lift his head, resting his chin on Justin's shoulder as he slipped deeper in Justin. "Oh shit, oh shit.. baby, you have to stop... don't squeeze.. oh fuck, baby..." Brian hissed out, his voice raising with excitement. Justin grunted hard and moved back, pulling Brian in further. "Hard.. ha-harder Rocky... do it harder.. baby.." Justin pleaded and commanded. He squeezed his muscles and listened as Brian groaned louder. Brian did not let time linger on before following his husband's request. He leaned back some and aligned his penis. He gripped his husband's waist with one hand while still jerking Justin's penis with the other. His eyes grew smaller, darker as he started thrusting with force. His mouth grew dry as he bluntly jabbed into Justin's body. An inferno raced through his arms, his legs, his chest as he stroked through his lover's insides. The pleasing, sexual sound of his balls slapping against Justin's butt as he thrusted into Justin drove both further to the edge. Justin's hand falls again, leaving a large streak and squeaking as it rubs against the glass. He swallows hard and tries to catch his breath. The ecstasy is too much. "God, yes... yes baby! Just like.. ah, ah.. that!" Justin bellows, his panting interrupting his speech. Poor is the man Whose pleasures depend On the permission of another Love me, that's right, love me I wanna be your baby Mmm, yeah Brian's pink lips drag over the side of Justin's neck. Sometimes, he bites, sometimes, he licks. He kisses his way upward until he reaches Justin's ear. His hand leaves Justin's waist and fumbles upward, his thrusts still strong and long as his hand traces up Justin's ribs. He grabs Justin's chin and lifts it, pets until Justin's eyes bat open and he's staring into the mirror. "Look at us Beanie.. mmph, look at us in the mirror.." Brian requested with a soft, strained voice. Justin's dark blue eyes watches them, watches the way their bodies move in an erotic dance. "Look at the way your cock gets so red when I rub the head and play with your slit.." Brian whispers, carefully brushing his thumb over the head of Justin's cock before collecting the thick drops of precum in the slit. "Oh G-G.." Justin can't get the word out. It's too good. "Watch the way your hips move when I love you harder..." Brian said softly, jerking his hips forward with fast strokes. Justin panted hard while watching his lower body move forward, closer to the mirror as Brian reached further inside of him. "Oh Beanie, look at the way our faces get when I hit your spot.." Brian breathed out, kissing Justin's ear with a tenderness. "Oh fuck.. oh God..." Justin manages to get out as he watches Brian's face tighten up as Brian's cock rubs over Justin's prostate. He watches Brian's lips curl and listens to the moan escaping his body and Justin releases his own groan. He tingles with pleasure and burns with Brian's heat. "Yes, oh baby, yes.. I love you.." Justin gasps out, still watching Brian's face as Brian moans louder and harder. Wanting, needing, waiting For you to justify my love I'm open and ready For you to justify my love To justify my love Wanting, to justify Waiting, to justify my love Praying, to justify To justify my love I'm open, to justify my love All Brian has to do is squeeze, pull, jerk, kiss, love Justin a little harder before Justin cums. When Justin was younger, masturbating in the bathroom, he didn't know an orgasm could be that strong, that long. But it could be with Brian. It could make his toes curl, his head ache, his body tremble, his dick shiver, and his body could be in another world all while nutting. It was like that. It was that fucking good and Justin only saw streaks of red, blue, yellow and millions of other colors as he came. His breathing was ragged and he felt damp, but warm and yummy. He opened his eyes and watched Brian kiss his neck, all moving slowed and easy. He felt Brian's seed inside of him, hot and wet. His body sighed when Brian pulled out of him and stood there, petting his body and kissing him. "It was so good.. you were so good.." Brian whispered over and over between kisses. Justin didn't know how to nod or reply verbally. He only watched through the mirror. He felt Brian's hand on his hair, brushing it backward. It was a clean hand. The other hand, the one that was slicked with Justin's semen, was rubbing his side, leaving streaks of clear-white, sticky cum on Justin's skin. Justin smiled. "Rocky, I don't think anyone could ever tell that you are such a good ass lover, but baby, you are." Justin said, his voice a little clearer. Brian giggled against his skin, trying to lay a sweet kiss on Justin's collarbone. "Thanks baby." Brian chimed with a strong county accent. He patted Justin's ass lightly before wrapping his arms around Justin's waist. Justin was surprised he could still stand. He felt like he was standing on clouds. Everything around him was a blur, but his husband's touch wasn't. "Don't forget that when you're on tour." Brian insisted, nuzzling his face into Justin's neck. "I won't. I'll be jacking off thinking about it every night." Justin grinned, laying his hands on top of Brian's while staring into the mirror. He watched them, watched them stand together. He watched the way their bodies molded into one and they became a potrait of innocent, young lovers. TO BE CONTINUED... - You Remind Me (Phillip Aaron, R. Safinia, Enrico Cremonesi), performed by Mandy Moore - Girlfriend (Justin Timberlake, Chad Hugo, Pharrell Williams), performed by *NSYNC - Your Face (David Rice, M. Stevens), performed by Mandy Moore - I Cry Real Tears (Reed Vertelney, Linda Thompson), performed by Tonya Mitchell - I Don't Wanna Fall In Love (Gen Rubin, Denise Rich), performed by Tonya Mitchell - Justify My Love (Lenny Kravitz, Ingrid Chavez), performed by Madonna -- Has it been long enough? I wonder... hmmm, yeah! I only got maybe three e-mails asking where I was, so I figured I could take my time with this since not that many knew I was missing in action. Anyway, did you know it has almost been three years for me? That's a long ass time to write a story! In fact, during my little hiatus, I thought about calling it quits for good. Three years is a long time to dedicate yourself to a series for nothing. But I remembered that it was for something. It's because I have created these characters out of real people and I love them too much to stop. It's because I have readers out there that write me pleading for another story and that touches me! So I won't stop. I got to go the NSYNC's Pop Odyessy Tour and I must say it was the best concert they ever put on! Justin looked so hot sweaty and dancing. That boy can grind! And then, on Labor Day weekend, my dream came true! I got to meet Innosense! I took pics with them and got their autographs and talked with them. It was the best. It was a true dream come true for me. Well, I hope you liked this chapter. The next one will hopefully be done sooner. Write me about this one or not. Doesn't matter. Watch the VMA's! They'll probably make their third appearance in my series soon! Love ya -- * I have made seven wallpapers for the story. They include Brian & Justin, JC & Nick, Bryce & Lance and Justin. If you want to picture what Bryce looks like, I have a wallpaper to help you out. If you want one, e-mail me and say so. I'll be sure to send you out one of them! * ** This story is in loving memory of Aaliyah Haughton. I was a HUGE fan of her music and had even planned to use the song 'Rock Da Boat' during this recent love scene for Brian and Justin. I chose not to use it just a few days before her death. She was a beautiful person and I miss her dearly. Her music will forever live on. I pray for her family and fans. Aaliyah Dana Haughton, 1979-2001. **