Date: Wed, 20 Mar 2002 08:14:56 +0000 From: J-dot M <catsfan1@hotmail.com> Subject: Rock Steady Rock Steady Written by JM -- Disclaimer: Uh, simple. Not 18, not interested in a relationship between two males, not open-minded, not a fan of the pop genre, not sure what fiction is, not a interested in anything written by JM, DO NOT READ! -- ** This is a small piece of the Brian and Justin saga. It's not another series, just a songfic. It's actually one of a few songfics I plan to do. I think one of eight. Some readers requested an epilogue and I think that pretty much calls an end to a story, so this isn't technically an epilogue but another string tying together some parts of the series. Understood? Misundaztood? All the same now a days. ** Our love is rock steady... Rock steady, rock steady, rock steady Our love is rock steady... Rock steady The constant buzz of the telephone woke him that morning, but skin closed over blue horizons kept him awake. His body was stretched, but it was still a little sore. He wanted to swear when he tried to flex his ass because damn it, it hurt like hell, but it was that good pain. The kind of pain that made him think of past memories, past sexual fantasies that lifted his body above the air and held him in a suspended state of dreamy ecstasy. He knew the man laying in the bed next to him was faking it. He had caught those pretty, adorably small eyes watching him when he was on the phone. He even smiled at one point, leaving him numb to the words Britney was sputtering out. He toyed with almost curled blonde strands and fingered his way through the blonde hair on his husband's head. He could freely admit that his husband was the start and finish for him. Before, when he was younger, it was just a thought. His friends tended to call it puppy love or just a thing he went through. A stage? Yeah, they said it was a stage. Even at his wedding, he could tell they weren't all convinced it was final. But two years of marriage, over three years of being together? How many stages lasted that long? "You can open your eyes now Rocky." He whispered, inclining his head until his nose brushed against his husband's now creased forehead and his lips were reaching out to kiss perfectly straight eyebrows. He felt the slight flutter of eyes opening and he backed away a little, because he wanted to look at those reflective eyes and see all the world's wonders. "How'd you know I wasn't sleep?" His husband asked in that helplessly sweet Southern accent. He settled a thumb against his husband's nose and smiled, baring white teeth and a crooked grin. "You make Keanu Reeves look like an Oscar contender." He joked, tracing the thin shape of the nose until his thumb pressed against the tip and slipped off. Fingers pressed against his bare ribs and began a feverish movement, leading him to laughter and small squeaks of joy. "Stop it you fool." He giggled and, at one point, he thinks he purred. Lips latched onto the skin of his neck, sucked lightly and then pulled away, words dropping off them. "I'm a lovesick fool." His husband insisted, nuzzling his nose to the wild hairs on his chin. "I know Brian. You can't help it." He replied, pushing back bangs on his husband's head while watching an eyebrow arch. His husband was unimpressed. He lays back, on his back, when his husband circles a tentative finger around his exposed nipple. "Justin... do you think the kids will wake soon?" Brian asks, hand slipping over nicely toned pecs before moving up to his husband's collarbone. Justin sighs, scruffs his fingers over his scalp, through baby curls, with thought. "Why babe?" He questions, edging his hand up until it is cupped over Brian's. He feels Brian shrug and he laughs. It might be, but he doesn't think so. Still, he has to ask. "Looking to get some more action?" Justin inquires, twining he and Brian's fingers. Brian giggles against his skin, presses a dirty kiss to his neck. "That would be nice, but no." Brian replies so easily that Justin's confident in his husband's response. He smiles shyly and turns his head a little, tilting it down so that he can look upon Brian. "What's up?" He questions meekly, his lips pulled together when his tongue runs across them. Brian sighs and Justin knows he wants a kiss. He can be a kid at times. Justin did it the most. He did the whole pouting and sighing thing best, but sometimes, Brian can do it without trying. It didn't matter much. Justin still laid a sweet kiss to Brian's desirable lips. Love is like a punishment Homegirl here to represent So innocently you seem to come my way While Tinkerbell and Cupid play They sit there and they laugh I sit here and I can't believe my eyes You found me at last But we're too human to see the way we'll agonize Most of the time, Justin liked that about Brian. He wasn't serious much because that was Justin's job. Justin was the sentimental the one. The dramatic one. But Brian held his titles well. He was the romantic and the goof and the rock. He kept Justin steadfast, in his place. It wasn't an easy job, but Justin suspected that Brian had grown accustom to it over the years. At least, he hoped so. "It's funny to me how we went through so much when we first started going together and all it took was a marriage certificate for people to stop fucking with us." Brian remarked, stroking back the hair on Justin's forearm. Justin didn't laugh because he didn't think it was a joke. How much had they been through? Too many break ups. Justin couldn't even count all of them, probably because he wasn't sure which ones really counted. He sometimes thought maybe all the huge arguments counted, but Brian said they didn't one day. Justin gave a small tug to Brian's hair and twisted his lips together. "They didn't really stop after that." Justin remarked, and he was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to say that. It was his fault, he knew. He let his friend get to him. He let lust, abandonment lead him to temptation and he was probably too much of a sucker for a good fuck because he was one his way. "But I guess we can't blame it all on everyone else." Justin added, turning his head upward and away from Brian. He was ashamed, but the feelings settled easily. "Yeah, I guess it isn't all their fault." Brian agreed, voice low and strained. He was thinking about it now and Justin cursed himself. A real love survives A rock steady vibe A real love survives A rock steady vibe Justin painted himself a picture one day. Not one like this though. He saw himself without Brian, occasionally seeing him on the weekends when Brian arrived at Justin's apartment, picking up their son and taking him away. Justin always thought he'd cry when he had to see Brian and Angel without him. He did cry one day, out of the blue, because that picture was so gray and pale. It did nothing to flatter Justin's deep emotions. Justin truly hated that awkward silence that occurred between two people. He didn't mean to start it this time, but Brian wasn't rubbing his arm anymore and, somehow, his fingers had slipped out of Brian's hair and rested on the pillow Brian's head rested on. He felt guilty and barren. Laying next to Brian wasn't fun. Cuddling with Brian, spooning Brian, making love to Brian; that was fun. It was what the bed was for. Just being there with his husband was unfulfilling. He knew it maybe a little too much. "I suppose it's not all their fault." Justin whispered, untangling his body from Brian's to roll in the opposite direction. It wasn't all their fault either. Steady now, stop rocking it It's a delicate environment Retired but sleeping is our shanty love Be careful now, don't wake it up Cold air attacked his shoulder and he wanted to crawl back under the covers. This is what it always felt like when he talked about his affair or Brian's relationship with Nick. He felt sick, discarded and it ached so badly. Justin. No Justin and Brian. Just and Bri. Definitely not Rocky and JuJu. Just Justin. Alone and aching. Gentle, unsealed kisses met his shoulder, decorated his tattoo with sweetness. It was a sprinkling of fairy dust against his skin. Fingers massaged down his lower back and he felt a groin press into the cleft of his ass. Feet rubbed against the back of his and he giggled quietly. He wasn't supposed to do that, but the hand rubbing across the muscles of his stomach told him otherwise. "Doesn't matter." The whisper came so unexpectedly. It felt good against his ear, felt like a glow of light in his soul. He clasped a hand over the one that continuously moved over his stomach and hips, sometimes daring to run through the kinky brown hair down below. "Does it?" He dared to question and that hand stopped. Maybe it did. It's never gonna last It's never gonna make it back alive So now can we relax? I really hope that we will actually survive "I'm trying to tell you it doesn't matter and you still question me." Brian fussed lowly, drawing his hand away from Justin's stomach. The other hand still laid against his back and Justin was afraid it would be the hand to shove Justin away, maybe off the bed. "I was just asking, you know, to be sure." Justin remarked, rolling over until he looked at, Brian eye-to-eye, mouth close to mouth. Brian didn't like that. Justin sighed. His husband wanted him to have the same confidence in their relationship. And he did almost a hundred percent of the time. But when he asked Brian, awhile ago, if he loved him, that delayed answer left Justin's heart weak and he had to be sure always. It wasn't something he could control. He sure couldn't label it either. He asked Lance one day what his problem might be and Lance just shrugged and continued talking about Bryce. He tried to get Chris to discuss it with him but Chris didn't like topics like that. There was a time when Chris did, but that was before Justin betrayed Brian and his friends. When Brian closed his eyes, Justin swallowed back fear and hopeless tears. He pressed his hand to Brian's stomach, felt the muscles tense and then relax. He let his hand glide downward, fingertips grazing over curly hair and then to hot, flaccid flesh. He thought to say something, but didn't. He just let his hand stay there, praying something would happen down there. Maybe there would be feeling and they could fuck? Have sex? Forget what Justin said? Brian groaned. It wasn't one of those satisfying, orgasm-like groans. It was agitated and Justin trembled. He pouted his lips just like he knew he would. He scrunched up his nose and began to draw his hand away. Hands locked around his wrist and drew it closer. He saw a faint smile cruise over Brian's thin lips and he smiled on the inside. "You can touch it, but don't get too friendly. The kids might wake up." Brian said so smoothly that Justin melted. Justin cupped his husband's penis, felt the blood filling it and it began to grow thick between his curled fingers. "It's okay to be sure, right?" Justin asked, smoothing his thumb over the head. He liked the head, liked when it was in his mouth, his tongue running delicate circles around it before letting the tip push apart the slit to taste amber-sweet nectar. Brian was a fan of fruit and Justin could taste it every time he suckled Brian's dick until he came. Brian's hand pushed over the curls in Justin's hair. He tugged lightly on the dark strands and waited for the stiff moan to slip past his parted lips. "It's okay to be sure Bean." Brian agreed, finally batting open to his eyes to look upon Justin. He watched the wild grin on Justin's lips for a moment, but another groan dripped across his lips and his eyes started to close again. A real love survives A rock steady vibe A real love survives A rock steady vibe His balls were pulling up, but he knew he wasn't going to cum for awhile. Justin was playing nice and he was still spent from their previous lovemaking session. But he liked the feelings pricking against his skin. He felt his toes starting to curl and that was never a good sign. He didn't know what Justin had done over the past year, but he was better and better in bed. Orgasms came so frequently, beating out feverous ejaculation. He always seemed to reach his peak and orgasm way before any semen left his dick. His body always ached the next morning, but with a sweetness that was never felt before. Justin was good in bed before, that was a given. He didn't shake his ass and thrust his groin on stage for nothing. But, now, it was heaven in the bedroom. Justin could do things, arch parts; twist limbs and leave Brian numb. Brian thought maybe Justin was watching porno or reading erotic books on the road, but he never questioned. He just waited until he went numb and prayed he had a voice in the morning so he could sing again. "If you make me cum, I'll have to shower and clean the sheets. That means you'll have to go and change Autumn's diaper again." Brian hissed through clenched teeth, his eyes opening again. Not that he didn't mind getting all sweaty and leaving a mess on their bed linen, but he really didn't want to hear Justin complain again about getting both of their children dressed while Brian took a long shower to relax himself. It was Justin's fault, though. Justin smeared pre-cum over the head of Brian's dick and laughed. He hadn't even heard his daughter calling until Brian mentioned her. Maybe Brian was just that conscious of the world when they fooled around. "She's gonna wake up Bastian." Justin noted, laying his hand on Brian's hip to pull him forward. Brian didn't fight him and their lips made a small noise when they met, but their tongues were silent and fast. Exchange of saliva, a lick across the lips and Justin was rolling away from Brian, wiping secretion across the top of the sheets before searching for his boxers. Brian giggled and moved carefully to the other side. He was still hard and didn't want to bring any form of friction to his body. Masturbation was something he never ruled out. "Hey," he called out when Justin pulled on Brian's boxer-briefs and slapped his ass proudly. Justin grinned; still rubbing his ass for Brian, knowing his husband wouldn't run across the room with their daughter beginning to fuss. "It's always good to be sure." Brian said, a gentle smile lacing his swollen lips. He waited and then caught Justin's smile. Another picture for his memories. "Thank you Rocky." Justin chimed, dragging fingers through his curls with a shy expression molded onto his face. Justin skipped out of the room, humming a pretty tune while Brian kicked away clothing. "Decafe baby." He bellowed and he couldn't make out Justin's response, but he knew it was typical. They were good again. Brian was thankful for it. He scratched his back and looked at himself in the mirror. He wished that sometimes he could see the tattoo of his husband's name on his back when he turned around and looked at his ass. It was hard to see, but it was there, just like Justin always was. Just like Justin always would be. Our love is rock steady... The End. --- Story inspired by: "Rock Steady" (G. Stefani, T. Kanal), performed by No Doubt --- E-mail compliments, complaints, song ideas, good conversation to: catsfan1@hotmail.com