Date: Sat, 19 Jun 1999 15:35:04 PDT
From: keith lowell <keithlowell@hotmail.com>
Subject: Brian and Keith -- 6

Here is the sixth part of the story. Again, this story involves Brian
Littrell or the Backstreet Boys. Please remember that this is pure fantasy
and absolutely nothing is implied about the sexualities of any of the
characters in this story. All comments and suggestions are welcome and
appreciated at keithlowell@hotmail.com  Thanks. With that
said........ENJOY.........

Brian & Keith -- 6


"Okay, before this gets out of hand, I think all of us need to get a good
night's rest and then regroup tomorrow and then talk about it," A.J. said as
he looked at Brian first and then at Kevin and then back at Brian again.

"I agree," both Nick and Howie said simultaneously.

"Yeah, that's fine with me," Brian said as he looked at the floor.

"Okay, lets go then," Kevin said as he stood up and walked out the door.

Nick, Howie, A.J., and finally Brian followed Kevin out of the room. They
made their way out of the waiting limo that Kevin had called for them. All
of them got inside and the limo took off to the hotel. None of them said
anything to each other and before they knew it, they were infront of the
hotel. They all got out and Brian instructed the driver that he will be back
in about 10 minutes. Everyone made their way up to their floor in the
elevator. Still no one had spoken to each other but they all were stealing
glances at Brian. No one knew quite the seriousness of Brian's relationship
with Keith so they had no idea why Brian was acting this way. Brian noticed
the glances by the others but did not feel like discussing it right now.
Brian was the first one off the elevator as soon as the doors opened. He
made a mad dash to his room and in a matter of seconds was inside with the
door closed shut behind him.

Once inside his room, Brian breathed a sigh of relief. He stood there for a
moment trying to recollect his thoughts. Finally, he set about getting his
and Keith's overnight bags in order. He was ready to go in five minutes. He
opened the door to notice that the guys were sitting in the hall around his
door. He was shocked to say the least to see this, and his expression showed
this emotion.

"We just wanted to wish you a good night and tell yo that we hope that Keith
is feeling better in the morning," A.J. spoke for everyone as they all stood
up.

Brian could not believe this. He had been so rude to them and here they were
acting like that never happened. He could not hold back anymore as he let
his tears escape his eyes. Kevin noticed this and immediately hugged Brian.
Brian immediately broke down as soon as he felt Kevin's arms around him. He
needed to release his fears that were inside him about Keith's condition.
Soon Brian quieted down and let go of Kevin.

"God, I hope he makes it out of this mess okay," were the first words out of
Brian's mouth as he turned to face the rest of the guys.

"Just pray for him and leave everything to God," A.J. said as he gave Brian
a warm hug.

When A.J. ended his hug, Howie stepped up and hugged Brian. He hated to see
Brian hurt like this, but he also knew that he could not really go anything
to make it better. He knew from experience that this would also make Brian's
relationship with Keith stronger. Howie let the hug die as he stepped away
from Brian.

Brian noticed Nick standing there looking at the floor while twiddling his
thumbs. Brian always got along fine with Nick although they did not agree on
everything, far from it. Nick was apprehensive about whether or not he
should hug Brian. He was not sure if Brian even wanted to speak to him after
what he had done. While he was thinking these thoughts, Nick noticed a pair
of sneakers in front of him. He looked up and saw Brian standing there with
a grin on his face. Nick smiled widely and immediately hugged Brian like he
was a long lost friend.

"I'm sorry," Nick whispered as he let go of Brian. Brian smiled at Nick but
did not say anything. Nick returned the smile happily and stepped out of the
way to allow Brian to walk to the elevator.

"Bye everyone, I will call y'all tomorrow morning when I reach the hospital
to let y'all know how Keith is doing," Brian said as he pressed the down
button for the elevator.

"Please do," A.J. said as he headed for his own room.

Brian got inside the elevator and pressed the button for the lobby. The rest
of the guys headed inside their own rooms after the elevator doors closed.
They all had only one thing on their minds, that being the well being of
Keith. They all were trying to figure out who would want to hurt Keith in
that way. All of them, except Kevin, fell asleep after saying a little
prayer for Keith. Kevin could not get a question out of his head. What if
the same person caught up with Keith and the guys, while they were together,
and the instances of today were repeated. It would be a public relations
nightmare. 'What would happen then,' Kevin thought. He eventually fell
asleep thinking up more of those scenarios.

Brian finally made it to the waiting limo. He apologized to the driver for
being late and gave him directions to Keith's apartment. Soon, they were on
their way. In what seemed like seconds to Brian, the limo was parked at the
entrance of the apartment building. Infact, Brian had all along thinking
about the night's events and trying to figure out what could have possibly
caused them. Brian snapped out of his daze and got out of the limo. He
grabbed his and Keith's bags and headed inside the building after tipping
the driver and wishing him a good night.

Brian was standing in front of Keith's apartment door. He felt like he was
invading Keith's privacy by being there when Keith was not there. But then
he thought since Keith and himself were on their way to a relationship
together there should be no secrets between them. With that thought he
opened the door and went inside. Brian felt like a kid in a toy store. There
was so much to explore and so little time to do it in. He had the same
thought the whether he should really be doing this, but then he again
realized that he was in his lover's house. There should be no secrets
between them. Suddenly, Brian stopped in his tracks as a thought came to
him. 'Would I have to tell Keith all of my secrets also then.' Ofcourse came
the reply from inside of Brian's heart and in due time his mind followed up
with the same answer. Now he knew that he was really in love. A huge smile
came to his lips as he thought about what that meant.

Finally Brian relaxed enough to go inside the apartment from the foyer. He
made his way into the kitchen and saw the message light blinking on the
answering machine. Brian thought if he should listen to the messages. After
some thought he decided against it. He still was not sure how Keith would
feel knowing that Brian was in his apartment when he was not there. Brian
thought that listening to Keith's messages would just add fire to the fuel
incase Keith was upset. Then Brian went into the living room. He remembered
what he was feeling the last time he was in that room. But now all that was
behind him. He smiled as he thought that it all seemed such a long time ago,
but infact it had only been a matter of days.

Brian left the living room and made his way to the bedroom. He checked which
door led to the bathroom for future reference. As he opened the door to the
bedroom he stood in awe as he stared at the bed. 'Boy, A.J. was not
kidding,' he thought as he leaned against the door. Infront of him stood
this beautiful wooden four-post bed with curtains draped all over it. Brian
suddenly smiled as he thought about how he wanted to make love to Keith for
the very first time in that bed. He suddenly felt very tired looking at the
bed. He smiled and walked back to the foyer to grab his overnight bag. He
left Keith's bag next to the door since he would take it to the hospital in
the morning.

Brian went into the bathroom and used the facilities. He changed into his
nightwear and headed to the bedroom. He was still in awe as he looked at the
bed. He missed having Keith there. He wanted so much for tonight to be the
big night for them. But it was not meant to be. If the person who did this
ever came infront of Brian, he would go ahead and strangle that guy to death
with his hands. He was that angry with that guy. But then the troublesome
thought about Keith not doing anything to protect himself. Then Brian
decided that he would give Keith a chance to explain his actions to him
before jumping to conclusions. With that he forced his mind to throw out all
thoughts concerning the incident for now. He decided that sleep is what he
needed at this moment more than anything. He looked at the alarm clock and
saw that it was 12:30 A.M.

Brian looked at the bed again and decided that he would wait for Keith to
spend his first night in it. He would never be able to go to sleep in it
without Keith being there. He grabbed a blanket and a pillow and laid them
out on the floor. He laid down and as soon as his head hit the pillow, Brian
was out cold.

Brian awoke to the sunlight shining through the drapes. The position that he
was on the floor was perfect for the sunlight to shine directly on his eyes.
He squinted and moved away from the sunlight's path. Brian sat up as he
yawned and noticed that it was already 7 o'clock. He decided that he would
get up now and start getting ready for the day.

Brian decided to take a shower before doing anything else. The water felt
very refreshing on his sore muscles. He made a mental note to get a massage
before the show otherwise he would be in bad shape after it. He got done
with his shower and went to get ready. He was dressed and ready to go in a
matter of minutes since he had only brought one change of clothing with him.
He picked up his makeshift bed and put them on the real bed after dusting
them off. Again, he stood in awe looking at the magnificent bed. He didn't
know why but he really liked admiring the bed. In one way it was like Keith,
so inviting and warm. He got a very comfortable feeling staring at the bed.

Brian was snapped out of his daze as he happened to glance at the alarm
clock. It said the time was 8:15. 'Oh no I'm late, I have to be at the
hospital at 9:00,' he thought. But then he realized that it only took about
ten minutes to walk to the hospital from here. He breathed a sigh of relief
and walked out of the bedroom. The growling in his stomach reminded him that
he was starving.

"Okay stomach time to feed you," he laughed out loud as he rubbed his
stomach.

Brian walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. After a thorough
search through the fridge and the cabinets, he came up empty handed for
something to eat. 'Boy what did Keith eat while he was here,' he thought as
he decided what to do. Brian made up his mind to walk to the hospital and
stop if there was a cafe on the way. He grabbed his cell phone, wallet, and
the keys to Keith's apartment and headed for the door. He grabbed Keith's
bag and was on his way.

Brian walked out of the apartment building doors to be greeted by noise of
the morning rush hour. 'Yuck,' he thought as he pulled the front of his cap
lower. The last thing he needed this morning was to be ambushed by fans. He
started walking towards the hospital with his head down and feeling very
hungry by now. He had only walked about two blocks when he noticed a cafe.
He casually looked forward and he noticed two more cafes on either side of
the street. This is what he loved about big cities, there was everything
that a person could need within walking distance.

Brian walked into the cafe and quickly ordered a regular coffee and a bagel
with cream cheese on it. He would usually order his favorite coffee, a cafe
mocha, and some biscotti biscuits, but he was in a hurry today. Those items
required some time to sit and enjoy, and time was one thing that he did not
have much of at this instance. He grabbed his breakfast and quickly paid for
it and sat down at one of the tables. He started eating while reading a
newspaper that was left on the table. Soon his breakfast was gone, and he
felt much better now. He got up and left the cafe and was again on his way
to the hospital.

Brian entered the hospital and started getting nervous. He was not sure how
Keith would act towards him after yesterday night. He was having second
thoughts if infact he was actually ready to hear and accept the explanation
that Keith would give. He was not sure if Keith would just volunteer the
explanation or wait for Brian to bring up the subject. As he was about to
enter the elevator, his cell phone rang. He stepped back and stood next to
the elevator and answered the phone.

"Hello," Brian said.

"Hi Brian, good morning," Kevin said.

"Good morning Kevin," Brian replied.

"So any news on Keith?" Kevin asked.

"Well! I just entered the hospital, I am about to go up to Keith's room
now," Brian said.

"Oh sorry, all the guys are here and we got tired for waiting for your call
so we decided to call you instead," Kevin said.

"Thats okay, I am really nervous now," Brian said as he brushed his hair
back from his forehead.

"Don't worry about it, just relax," Kevin said in a very calm tone.

"Boy, I really wish that you guys were here with me," Brian sighed.

"Well! turn around and maybe your wish can come true," Kevin said and
disconnected the phone.

"Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, hello," Brian said into the phone. He received no
answer. 'The phone must have gone dead,' he thought as he turned around.

Brian stopped in his tracks as he looked at the sight infront of him. There
stood Kevin, A.J., Nick, and Howie all with wide smiles on their faces. They
all stood there with flowers and get well balloons in their hands. Brian was
so shocked that he could not move. Kevin smiled as he approached Brian.

"Did you actually think that we would not be here," Kevin said as he hugged
Brian. Brian accepted the hug and whispered, "thank you," in Kevin's ear. He
knew that this was all of Kevin's doing. He probably organized all of this,
and Brian was certainly impressed by his cousin's effort.

Brian hugged the rest of the guys one at a time and thanked them for their
consideration. He was very happy to see them there. He certainly needed them
for moral support. Even though he wanted to speak to Keith alone, it will be
a nice feeling to know that the guys were there for him.

"Okay its time that we go and see how our patient is doing," Kevin said in
his ordering way.

"Yes sir," Brian said as he rolled his eyes while looking at Nick. Nick
snickered at Brian but managed to be quiet so that Kevin would not notice.
It was nice to see that everyone was acting in their "normal" roles. They
were all acting like five friends. All was as it should be.

Everyone stepped into the elevator. As soon as the door closed the mood
immediately changed from jolly to somber. Everyone was dreading the
explanation that they would receive from Keith. None of them were looking
forward to it, but they all knew that it had to be heard. Besides, all of
them really wanted to know why Keith did nothing to protect himself.

The elevator doors opened and they all walked out one by one. Dr. Rosenberg
happened to be walking by and noticed them. She smiled at them and laughed
out loud at all the flowers and balloons.

"Hi guys, how is everyone this morning," Dr. Rosenberg asked.

"Hello doctor, we are all fine thank you," Kevin replied for the group.

"Looks like you guys bought out the whole store," she said as she pointed to
the flowers and balloons.

"Yes, certainly looks that way," Brian said proudly as he smiled at the rest
of the guys.

"Oh Brian! sorry we could not get through to you last night. We tried
calling three times at the number you gave us, but no one picked up the
phone," Dr. Rosenberg said.

"Oh my God! is everything okay with Keith," Brian asked anxiously.

"Yes, you did not get the message we left on the third time we called," Dr.
Rosenberg asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, I did not think to check the messages," Brian said sadly as he looked
towards the floor.

"Well anyways, Keith woke up in the middle of the night and has been
recovering very well," Dr. Rosenberg continued to explain. "I think he is
expecting you guys this morning. If everything goes well, he might be able
to go home today," she added as she excused herself from the group.

"Thank you doctor," Nick said to her as she walked away. She turned back and
smiled at the group before returning to her task.

"Brian you okay?" A.J. asked as he put his arm around Brian's shoulder.

"How could I be so stupid," Brian said as he wiped a tear from his left eye.
"I should have realized that the hospital might be calling, especially when
I left the number with them," he added as he slumped his shoulders.

"Hey Brian, everything worked out okay, Keith is doing fine. They were
calling to give you good news," Kevin said as he looked at Brian.

"Yes, but they could have been trying to reach me in case of an emergency.
How could I be so thick headed," Brian said as he smacked himself slightly
on the head.

"Now, stop that, so you made a mistake. You are human you know," Howie said
as he stopped Brian from hitting himself again. They all voiced their
agreement with what Howie said, and told Brian that he should not be too
hard on himself.

"Okay, I know that I am acting silly, but the doctor just scared me by the
way she said that," Brian said as he smiled. Once again he was really glad
that the guys were there with him. Each of them exuded his own energy onto
Brian, which in turn made him feel very strong and secure. He realized that
the guys were "his family" when they were traveling together.

"Okay, lets go and see how Keith is doing," Kevin said as he started walking
towards Keith's room.

Once they reached Keith's room, Kevin knocked on the door. There was no
answer. Kevin knocked again, but still the guys received no answer. They all
shared worried expressions among themselves before Howie spoke up.

"Maybe he's in the rest room and can't hear us," Howie said as he looked
hopefully in Brian's direction.

"Brian, you should go in and see if Keith is up for company," Kevin
suggested as he pushed Brian forward towards the door.

Brian took a deep breath and opened the door. He peeked inside and could not
see Keith on the bed. He went inside and closed the door behind him. Right
then he heard water run in the bathroom. Brian breathed a sigh of relief as
he went and sat in the chair next to the bed.

Soon, Keith opened the door and stepped into the room. He briefly looked up
and saw Brian sitting there. Keith stopped in his tracks when he noticed
that Brian had stood up. Brian was shocked to see the condition that Keith
was in. He still had all the bandages and he looked very tired.

"Hi," Brian managed to say after Keith had made it to his bed.

"Hello," Keith answered hesitantly as he sat down on the bed.

Brian leaned forward and kissed Keith on the lips. Keith was surprised by
the kiss, to say the least. That was the last thing he expected to happen.
He expected Brian to be extremely upset about the things that happened last
night. Brian sensed that all was not well with Keith. He did not want to
make Keith feel uncomfortable.

"Are you up for company?" Brian asked as he looked hopefully at Keith.

"That would be great," Keith replied. He was not sure how to act around
Brian. He did want to be alone with him, but he did realize that he has to
explain the situation. He would rather do it all at one time with everyone
present, rather than do it one at a time.

Brian walked to the door and opened it. "Come on in guys," he said as he was
greeted by four sets of eyes silently asking permission to come in. All the
guys smiled and walked in.

Kevin was the first one to enter the room. He paused as he saw Keith. He had
no idea the extent of Keith's condition. He sat through the explanation that
the doctor gave, but to see it in person was something else. "Hi Keith, how
are you feeling?" Kevin managed to ask as he put down the flowers that he
carried in.

"Not bad, thanks," Keith replied as he pointed to the flowers and the
balloons that Kevin had held.

"Don't mention it," Kevin replied as he walked up to the bed. He went up to
Keith and hugged him. "You scared us especially him," he whispered in
Keith's ear as he pulled away from the hug. He had pointed to Brian during
the hug, but Keith would have known either way. Keith just smiled at Kevin
as he wiped away a tear. He was thankful that he had friends like Brian and
the guys that looked out for him. He chuckled to himself as he thought about
how Kevin was really like a father or big brother that he needed desperately
right now in his life.

Keith was brought out of his trance as he felt someone hug him. He noticed
that it was A.J. "Boy, am I glad that you are okay," A.J. said as he let go
of Keith. Keith just smiled at A.J. also. For some reason, he felt extremely
comfortable with A.J., much as one would feel like with a best friend.

Howie came up next and hugged Keith. "Glad you're okay," he said as he let
go of Keith. He set down the flowers that he had carried next to the ones
that Kevin and A.J. had set down on the table.

Keith looked up and noticed lots of balloons. He saw a pair of legs standing
behind the impressive display of balloons. He laughed out loud as he thought
that only Nick could be responsible for the show. Nick was like a good
friend that Keith never had. Sure they had their differences in the
beginning, but they had gotten over that pretty fast. Nick stuck his head
out from behind the balloons and quickly hid his head back again much like
one would do with a child. Everyone laughed at that, and Keith was certainly
having a good time. He felt like he was two years old and Nick had been
given the task of cheering him up. Nick repeated this a couple of times
before he stopped and let go of the balloons. All the balloons elevated up
to the ceiling. Nick was very proud of himself when he saw the smile on
Keith's face. He came up to Keith and hugged him. Nick backed away while
Brian came and sat next to Keith. Brian was happy to see Keith with a smile
on his face.

All the rest of the guys sat in chairs looking at Brian and Keith. There
were numerous balloons behind them. Keith looked at the balloons and smiled
warmly. 'Even though my family has turned their backs on me, I have this
family to nourish me,' he thought to himself. Soon tears started falling
down his cheeks as he realized that he would probably never see his family.
Brian reached over and wiped the tears away. Keith felt Brian's fingers on
his face and suddenly woke up from his daydream. He smiled at Brian as the
tears stopped flowing.

"Did you guys buy out the whole store?" Keith said as he pointed to the
balloons.

"Yeah, looks that way doesn't it. They even surprised me when they showed up
at the hospital early," Brian said as he took Keith's hand in his own.

"Well! it was worth it to see the smiles on both your faces," A.J. said with
a snicker.

"Thank you very much, that was very nice of you guys," Keith said
appreciatively.

"Your welcome very much," Nick replied for the group with a huge smile on
his face.

"Why are you so happy Nick?" Howie asked suspiciously as he looked over at
the grinning Nick.

"Oh! I just like to see people happy," Nick replied coyly.

"You big ham," A.J. said as he lightly punched Nick's arm.

"Hey! watch it," Nick said as he punched A.J.'s arm in reply.

"Okay, cool it you two goofballs," Kevin said in his serious tone.

Everyone laughed as both A.J. and Nick stopped the horseplay quite abruptly
when they heard Kevin speak. They all knew from experience that Kevin meant
business when he used that tone. They all had learned quite early in their
careers that it was not wise to mess around when Kevin was not in the mood.
That meant trouble for everyone. They all quieted down and looked
expectantly at Kevin since he had brought an end to everyone's fun.

"Okay, I think that Keith owes us an explanation," Kevin said when he
noticed that everyone had relaxed. He looked directly at Keith, ignoring
Brian, trying to get him to talk.

Brian could not believe that Kevin was that direct. 'Thats Kevin for you,'
he thought as he shook his head. Brian looked at Keith worrying about his
reaction. 'I must admit I want to hear this explanation, but I wouldn't want
Keith to feel uncomfortable,' he thought as he squeezed Keith's hand.

Keith felt all eyes on him as Kevin spoke. 'Oh well, that was good while it
lasted, now back to reality and being alone,' he thought to himself.
Suddenly he felt Brian squeeze his hand. It felt so good to have some that
would hold him like that. 'Thank God for Brian,' he prayed to himself. He
looked at Brian who had a very scared look on his face. Keith smiled and
felt Brian relax.

"Okay, yes I do owe you guys an explanation at the least," Keith said as he
looked at Kevin.

"I'm sorry Keith, I did not mean to put you on the spot. You only have to
continue if you are ready to talk, if not, we can wait," Kevin said as he
looked at the rest of the guys and then back at Keith. The other guys gave
approving nods as to agree with what Kevin had said.

"No that's okay, thanks for the offer though," Keith replied with a warm
smile. Once Brian noticed that smile, he knew that Keith was ready to
explain. He decided that he would not stop Keith from going further.

Keith started explaining by who Pete was and how he had met him. He
explained about his unfortunate friend who had stood up to Pete and lost his
life because of it. He wiped away tears as he was explaining that. He
further explained that Pete had threatened to go to the press about Brian
being gay and how Keith could not let that happen. He explained that was the
main reason why he had decided against to put up a fight because he would
never do anything to hurt Brian or the rest of the guys. With that said,
Keith ended his explanation.

Keith thought that he had covered all the bases and there was nothing else
to explain. He was certainly glad that Brian had not let go of Keith's hand.
Infact, when Keith would slow down a little Brian would give Keith's hand a
little squeeze to continue. And when Keith's tears fell down his face Brian
reached over to wipe them away.

Keith felt a little better after he finished with the explanation. He felt
relief that it was over. After all he had been anticipating this moment
since he woke up early in the morning. 'It wasn't that bad now was it,' he
thought as he looked at his love. He smiled to let Brian know that he
appreciated Brian's support.

'It's okay and you don't have to thank me,' Brian thought while looking into
Keith's eyes. He smiled as he noticed relief in Keith's eyes. It was almost
as they if they were having their own private conversation telepatically.
They seemed to be tuned in perfectly as to what each of them would say to
each other it they had actually spoken.

Keith looked away from Brian and looked at the guys. They were all very
quiet, which did not comfort Keith. He also noticed that they were wiping
away unshed tears from their eyes. 'Boy am I going to get it now, I made
them almost cry,' he thought a she chuckled to himself. Infact, he was
really scared of the reaction that he will receive from the guys. They could
decide that they did not want to be associated with him anymore because the
stakes have been raised now. He did relax a little when he noticed smiles
instead of frowns on their faces.

"Whew!" Kevin exclaimed as he exhaled some of the nervousness inside him.

"Boy, what a thing to go through," Howie said as he shook his head from side
to side while looking at Keith.

"Oh my God," Nick said as he wiped away a tear that had managed to escape
from his eyes.

A.J. did not say anything, but instead he got up and hugged Keith. "I'm
sorry you had to go through that," he whispered so only Keith could hear. It
was such a soft whisper that even Brian did not hear that comment.

Keith did not say anything. He just smiled at everyone as they sat there
trying to comprehend the situation. He did try to give each of them
individual attention as he looked at them. However, he did not look at
Brian. He just squeezed Brian's hand every so often.

Brian squeezed Keith's hand in an attempt to get Keith's attention. Keith
did not look at Brian, instead looked at the floor. Brian squeezed Keith's
hand once more with a little more pressure. Still he got no answer. Brian
was getting a little upset by now, but he did not want to make a scene
infront of the guys. Keith was still looking at the floor not making any
attempt to look in Brian's direction. Brian made another attempt with
squeezing Keith's hand but got the same response.

Keith was not trying to ignore Brian. He felt every one of those had
squeezes and the meaning behind them. He also knew what his reaction would
be if he would look into those blue eyes. He would not be able to hold back
then. He also did not want to make a scene infront of the guys.

Brian got tired of being ignored by Keith. He took his thumb and put it
under Keith's chin and raised it. Keith felt Brian's thumb and tensed up.
Brian turned Keith's face towards himself with his right hand. As soon as
Keith's eyes met Brian's, Keith started crying. Soon Keith was surrounded by
Brian's arms and his head was resting on Brian's shoulder. Now, he really
let go. He cried like a baby with Brian comforting them.

.......to be continued...........