Date: Thu, 15 Jul 1999 17:49:05 PDT
From: keith lowell <keithlowell@hotmail.com>
Subject: Brian and Keith -- 8

Here is the eight part of the story. Again, this story involves Brian
Littrell of the Backstreet Boys. Please remember that this is pure fantasy
and absolutely nothing is implied about the sexualities of any of the
characters in this story. All comments and suggestions are welcome and
appreciated at keithlowell@hotmail.com  Thanks. With that
said..........ENJOY..........

Brian and Keith -- 8

Keith hung up the phone and sighed. 'I wonder what he wanted,' he thought.
There were several possibilities. Keith shuddered at that notion. He did not
even want to think about them at this time. He had learned about
Christopher's personality right on time, and he got himself out of a very
dangerous situation.

"Why do bad things all have to happen at what should be the happiest part of
my life?" Keith screamed.

Keith was starting to get nervous as he thought about Brian. He did not want
this new thorn to stick it's ugly head into something very precious and
special. He decided then and there that he would not tell Brian about
Christopher and his past with this "thorn". 'I think that would be best for
all concerned,' he thought.

Keith was surprised as he heard the door open. He looked up and saw Brian
enter with takeout and grocery bags.

"Hi babe," Brian said as he entered the kitchen and deposited all the bags
that he carried on the counter.

"Hi Brian, how was rehearsal?" Keith asked snapping out of his daze.

"Tiring," Brian answered as he made his way to Keith and kissed him. "Are
you feeling better now," he asked as he gathered Keith in a hug.

"Yes, I am much better now, thank you," Keith replied as he hugged Brian
tighter.

"Did you talk to Carol?" Brian asked as he ended the hug and withdrew
slightly to look into Keith's eyes.

"Yes, she is very impatient to meet you," Keith replied with a smile.

"Oh oh, now I am going to be nervous all the time till I meet her," Brian
said with a smile and a twinkle of laughter in his eyes.

"Now, you have nothing to worry about, you just have to live up to your
reputation," Keith said with as much laughter as Brian.

"Now I am really worried," Brian said as he got up and went into the
kitchen.

"Where are all the guys?" Keith asked as he made his way into the kitchen.

"Back at the hotel, they were tired and wanted to get some rest," Brian
replied as he started to put away the groceries.

"Oh! I just thought that since you were bringing dinner over, they would
have joined you," Keith said as he grabbed the counter for support.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, I can call them for you if you want," Brian
said as he grabbed the phone.

"No, I was just kidding, I rather spend a quiet evening with you," Keith
said as he grabbed the phone from Brian and returned it to it's home.

"That's what I wanted to hear," Brian said with a huge smile.

"So, what's with all the groceries?" Keith asked as he looked at the amount
of groceries. They were pretty much breakfast foods, but the quantity looked
like it was enough for about twenty people.

"Oh, these, I invited the guys over for breakfast, and we needed something
to feed them," Brian replied with a worried expression on his face.

"That's a wonderful idea," Keith said as he smiled widely.

Brian looked over and Keith and sighed. 'Boy, that's a relief,' he thought
as he continued putting away groceries. He really wanted the guys over for
breakfast and was glad that Keith agreed.

"Oh! the takeout smells delicious," Keith exclaimed as the aroma from the
food reached his nose.

"Yes, it does," Brian replied with his typical smile.

"Why don't you go and sit at the table, and I'll bring the food over," Brian
suggested as he gestured for Keith to get out of the kitchen.

"Okay," Keith said happily as he walked out of the kitchen. It had been such
a long time for anyone to show that they liked taking care of Keith, that
this little gesture sent Keith reeling.

Keith sat at the table waiting for the food. His stomach was growling by
now. He heard Brian open and shut a couple of cabinet doors and drawers. He
did not bother saying anything since Brian had obviously found what he was
looking for. Otherwise, he surely would have asked Keith for help.

Soon Brian had all the takeout packets open and also a couple of plates and
forks. He took all those things to the table where he saw Keith sitting and
waiting patiently for his dinner. He set a plate down in front of Keith and
put a fork on top of the plate. He layed a napkin next to the plate and then
set up a similar place setting for himself across the table. He set the food
containers in the middle of the table between the two of them. Once
everything was at the table and he made sure that they had something to
drink, Brian sat in his chair and smiled at Keith.

Brian reached his arms over and took Keith's hands within his own. He said
grace and a quick prayer before withdrawing his hands from his lover.

"Okay babe, dig in," Brian said as he reached for the food.

He took a serving spoon and took out some food and put it in his plate. He
took some food from all the containers and soon his plate looked like a
mosiac. The food mosiac consisted of chicken, beef, and shrimp dishes and
vegetable rolls and ofcourse steamed rice. He glanced over at Keith's plate
to notice a similar mosiac, only in different order.

Both of them ate their food in silence. They were both more hungry than
anything else. They certainly felt better with some food in their stomachs.
Brian sighed with contentment and leaned back in his chair. He was about to
yawn and stretch his arms over his head when he was stopped by Keith.

"Stop Brian, don't yawn and stretch your arms at the table," Keith said
quickly to stop his love.

"Why?" Brian asked with shock as he quickly put his arms down.

"Oh! I just grew up hearing that, I think it has something to do with
respect for the food and God," Keith replied with a shrug.

"That's strange, never heard of that before," Brian said as he sat up in his
chair.

"I always heard that from my nanny when I was growing up. She was a local,
so I think it is probably something the people in that part of the world
believe," Keith said as he got up from his chair.

Keith grabbed Brian's plate and put it on top of his own. He grabbed some of
the empty food containers and put them on the plates. He grabbed their forks
and used napkins and to the kitchen. He was feeling much better now, and was
able to move around freely. It's amazing what some food in your tummy will
do if you are not feeling well. Keith discarded the trash and set the dishes
in the sink. He started washing them when he saw Brian step inside the
kitchen.

Brian smiled at Keith as he set the empty glasses inside the sink and put
the leftovers in the refrigerator. He stood next to Keith watching him wash
the plates and glasses. Keith handed Brian a wash cloth and a wet plate.
Brian took the wash cloth happily and started drying the dish. Soon the
dishes were done and put away.

"I liked doing that," Brian said as he sat on the sofa in the living room.

"Doing what?" Keith asked curiously.

"Cleaning and putting away the dishes," Brian replied as he smiled at Keith.

"Why?" Keith asked surprised.

Brian just shrugged and didn't reply. He wrapped his arms around Keith and
hugged him lightly. It wasn't as though he was ignoring Keith's question,
but he did not know the answer to that simple question himself, so he
certainly could not explain it to Keith.

Keith had forgotten what they were discussing as soon as Brian's arms went
around him. He leaned back and enjoyed the feeling of Brian that close to
him. He never wanted this feeling to end. He wanted nothing more to spend
every evening in Brian's arms. But, then reality stuck again in letting
Keith know that Brian will leave tomorrow after the concert. He straightened
up while facing Brian. Brian felt Keith tense up, but did not really know
the reason why.

"Is something wrong?" Brian asked sincerely.

"Yes," Keith sighed.

Brian looked at Keith expectantly for an explanation. Keith did not say
anything, instead he just sighed again and let the tears fall down his
cheeks. Brian immediately took hold of Keith's hand after he saw the tears.
Neither of them said anything, instead they communicated through their
hands. Brian was rubbing Keith's hand soothingly while Keith just had a
strong grip on Brian's hand not wanting to ever let go. Brian decided that
he would just be supportive and patient for Keith to explain.

"I have to tell you something," Keith said.

"Okay, go ahead," Brian said as he wiped away some tears from Keith's cheeks
with his free hand.

"I am in love with you," Keith said as he looked down towards the floor.

"Yes, I know, I love you too," Brian said as he raised Keith's face with his
hand.

"And you are leaving me after tomorrow's concert," Keith managed to say
before he broke down and cried on Brian's shoulder.

Brian let Keith cry out his frustration. He wanted to speak and let him know
that he would not leave without Keith. He wanted to tell Keith that he
planned to take him everywhere he went. But, nothing would come out of his
mouth. He was so overwhelmed with emotion over how Keith was acting that he
could not control himself. Soon tears were running down Brian's face also.
He could not stand to see his love sob like that. Finally, he got enough
courage to say something.

"Babe, babe, listen to me," Brian said as he raised and held Keith's face
within his hands. Keith's face was only inches away from Brian's, and Keith
had finally stopped sobbing but tears still flowed down his face.

"I am not leaving you, I will never leave you," Brian said while looking
straight into Keith's eyes.

"But you....," Keith tried to speak but was stopped by Brian's finger on his
lips.

"I mean it, I have already made plans to take you with me," Brian said.

Keith's eyes opened wide when he heard those words. He could not believe his
ears.  He thought that he misheard Brian. Maybe he just heard what he wanted
to hear from Brian. He looked at Brian trying to register what Brian had
said to him seconds before.

"Excuse me!" Keith exclaimed as he sighed heavily.

"I am taking you with me, I will never ever go anywhere without you," Brian
said calmly and slowly. He did not want to say it very fast because he
needed Keith to understand and register what he said. He wanted to see a
smile on Keith's face, hopefully soon.

Just as Brian thought about the smile, Keith's lips turned upwards and
formed a smile. It had finally dawned on Keith what Brian was trying to say.
His dream had come true. He had found his knight and fell in love with him,
and now he was going to spend the rest of his life with Brian. Nothing could
ever compare with this moment. He genuinely felt happy and safe for the
first time since he was kicked out of his home.

"Now, have you finally calmed down for me to tell you what we are doing,"
Brian said as he leaned forward and lightly kissed Keith on the lips.

It was just a quick kiss. A kiss that left Keith feeling deliriously happy.
It was a kiss that promised many more to follow in the future. Keith did
pout a little when Brian ended the kiss and pulled back. He wanted nothing
more than for the kiss to continue, but he also wanted to listen to what
Brian had been planning.

"Yes, I want to listen now," Keith sighed as he also leaned back and got
comfortable to hear Brian out.

"Okay," Brian said as he smiled widely.

"We are going on vacation for a week after this concert. The management had
agreed to it about two months ago," Brian said. He paused for a second to
see if Keith would be upset with him about not telling him this before.
Keith just smiled and motioned for Brian to continue.

"I was and am still planning to go home for the week. I want you to come
with me because that way we both can talk to my parents. I did call them
today and tell them to expect you," Brian said all in one go. He was not
sure of how Keith would handle this news, he did not want to be disturbed
before he said all he wanted to.

Keith had tensed up when he heard Brian say the last part. He had not been
prepared to hear those words yet. He felt nervous and uncomfortable at the
thought of meeting Brian's family at this early stage.

"Are you sure that you want to take me with you?" Keith finally asked ending
the silence.

"Yes, but why wouldn't I?" Brian answered Keith with a question of his own.

"Because, we have just met and now you have me meeting your family already,"
Keith replied unsure of what he was saying himself. He knew how he felt, but
he was not sure of how Brian felt. He knew that Brian loved him, but was not
really sure about how Brian viewed the future of this relationship. He had a
good idea with the things that had been said in the last couple of minutes,
but he wanted Brian either to say it out flat, or form his opinion on the
matter more concretely.

"Yes, I want you to meet my family because I want us to start off on the
right foot," Brian replied to Keith's inquiry.

"Okay, then I will go with you and meet your family," Keith said happily. He
was unsure of what Brian meant by his last comment, but he did know that
Brian did see a future to this relationship. That's all he needed for now.

"Great!" Brian shouted as he got up and ran around the room making what
Keith could not hope were happy sounds.

Keith looked at his love and laughed out loud. Brian was acting just like a
kid at Christmas time. He was happy that he made Brian this giddy and
excited.

Brian finally stopped and calmed down. But, he never lost his smile.
Sometimes it seemed that Brian just could not stop smiling, not that the
smiling was a bad thing. He came and sat down next to Keith and took his
hand in between his own. Brian squeezed gently as he rubbed his thumb over
the back of Keith's hand.

"I'm glad that you are coming with me, I didn't want to spend my vacation
without you. Besides, this will give you a chance to rest up, and by the end
of the week you will be good as new," Brian said as he looked and smiled at
Keith.

"Yes I must agree, getting away will do wonders for my condition," Keith
answered and smiled back at his love. He sat there staring at how beautiful
his love really was. Not just on the outside, but definitely on the inside
as well. He felt proud to be in love with such a wonderful person.

"Well! I can think of a couple of things to do about your condition," Brian
said sexily as he looked deep in Keith's eyes.

Keith just smiled and squeezed Brian's hand as he said, "Not now Brian, I am
not ready."

"I know, I was just trying to cheer you up and maybe see if we can move your
recovery date up a couple of days," Brian said as he laughed out loud as his
words came out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry, I know that you have needs. I will try to if it will make you
feel better," Keith said hesitantly. He did not feel really up to doing
anything sexual just yet, but he did not want to disappoint Brian or even
worse, he did not want to loose Brian. All the old inhibitions came back to
his head as he sat there.

Brian could not believe what he just heard. He could not possibly see how
Keith would jump to that conclusion so fast about such a sensitive subject.
"Listen Keith, I don't want to force you into anything. Yes, I have needs,
but so do you. I am not going to leave you just because you are not ready to
have sex right away. I am in love with you and nothing will change that. So,
we have to wait for to make love, it will just make it much better and
special when we do make it happen," Brian said as he looked into Keith's
eyes.

Keith could see only compassion and truthfulness in the eyes that stared
into his own. He felt stupid and wrong to jump to that conclusion, but it
had to be addressed. Better it is out of the way now, than to surface at a
later time.

"I'm sorry, I apologize," Keith said as he looked towards the floor once
again.

"Okay, now it's all better," Brian said as he once again sported that
gorgeous smile.

Keith looked at Brian and also smiled. He felt more comfortable now, but
that comfort would be short-lived.

Just then the phone rang. Brian got up and picked up the receiver in the
kitchen.

"Hello," Brian said.

"Hello, who's this?" a man asked gruffly.

"Excuse me," Brian replied. He was trying to figure out who would talk to a
person in that manner. He was quite shocked to say the least, but did manage
to keep his composure.

"I need to speak to Keith," the man said.

"Please hold," Brian said as he covered the mouthpiece on the phone and
walked into the living room.

"Babe, it's a man who wants to talk to you," Brian whispered as he handed
the cordless to Keith.

"I wonder who it could be?" Keith thought out loud as he took the phone from
Brian and brought it to his ear. "Hello," he said.

"Keith, I need to talk," the man said back.

"Chris, I do not want to talk to you anymore. I am tired and recovering, and
I don't need this aggravation right now," Keith said as he sighed out loud.

Brian was trying not to listen to Keith's conversation. He had picked up a
book that sat on top of the coffee table and began browsing through it. 'I
never heard that name before,' he thought as he heard Keith say the name,
Chris.

"Keith listen, I want to get over this, I want us to be friends again. I
have missed you since we went our separate ways, and I want things to be the
way they were before, please," Chris said.

"I'm sorry, but what you did really hurt and scared me. I don't think I will
be getting over it anytime soon. I did enjoy being your friend, but you
destroyed that. I don't think I can forgive you, at least not at this time.
Maybe I will be able to do so in the future," Keith said a little sadly as
he looked up to see Brian staring at him.

Brian quickly averted his eyes down as Keith looked up towards his
direction. Now his curiosity was at it's peak. He was a little worried about
what he overheard. 'He said that he was hurt and scared by this guy. It must
have been very bad for Keith to keep a grudge. I just hope that Keith tells
me everything about this, so I don't have to keep guessing. I will come up
with the most outrageous conclusions on my own,' he thought as he looked at
the book as he rubbed the binding with his finger.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. Is there anything that I can say or do to make
you change your mind?" Chris asked sincerely.

"Well, I can't change the way I feel right now. I don't think I will ever be
able to trust you again. You can stop calling me. I promise you that I will
call you once I have recovered from our little adventure. If you never hear
from me, then assume that I have not forgiven you. Please stop calling
because every phone call brings back all the hurt that I went through,"
Keith said calmly.

"Okay, I guess I have no choice. I do hope that I hear from you sometime in
the future," Chris said.

"I do hope so too, Chris," Keith sighed.

"Bye Keith, take care of yourself," Chris said sadly.

"Bye Chris," Keith said as he ended the call.

Keith put the cordless on the coffee table and sighed as he leaned back. 'I
hope that I never hear from that guy ever again,' he thought as he felt
Brian sit next to him.

Brian was a little confused by the conversation that he just heard. 'What
could have this Chris character ever done to Keith to make Keith that mad at
him?' he thought as he got up and walked over to the sofa that Keith was
sitting in. He sat down next to Keith waiting for an explanation. But, he
was unsure if he will get what he wants.

"I don't know where to start?" Keith said as he sat up and looked at Brian.

"From the beginning," Brian offered.

"I did not come out to my family right away after I figured out that I was
gay. I planned on never telling them. I guess that I always knew that they
would react the way that they did. One night I met Chris at a party that
some friends of my dad were giving in his honor for being back in the
country. I never knew how to act at those things, so I just pretty much kept
to myself. Chris noticed this and came and sat besides me. Pretty soon, we
were like old friends. Me and him just clicked instantly. It was like that
we had known each other all of our lives. Anyway, we started spending more
and more time with each other. My parents also liked him, so he spent the
nights very often." Keith paused after saying the last statement.

Brian looked at Keith to see that there were tears running down his face. He
reached over and wiped the tears away. "You don't have to continue, I can
wait," Brian said in a soothing tone.

"Thank you, but I would like to continue. I just never had to say these
things out loud before. But, I want to get these feelings out," Keith said
as he leaned back again.

"Anyway, on one of these overnight visits, Chris asked me if I was gay. I
was shocked to say the least. I was speechless, and all of a sudden I just
started balling. He comforted me, but I think he really want to have sex
with me. When I finally calmed down, I noticed that I was practically
sitting on his lap with his hand running up and down my thigh. I jumped off
immediately, because I was really unsure of what was going to happen.
Anyway, he got me to relax and then we just went to sleep. He even put
pillows in between us at my request to make me more comfortable. I started
trusting him right at that moment." Keith stopped and stared in space. It
was like that he was in his own little world. Actually, he was thinking
about the good times that he shared with Chris.

Brian looked at Keith when he stopped. He was relieved not to see any tears
on Keith's face, but was concerned when he noticed the far away look. He did
not want to pressure Keith, but he was dying to find out what happened next
in the saga of Keith and Chris. He reached over and put his hand on top of
Keith's hand and squeezed gently.

Keith snapped out of his daze when he felt Brian's hand. "Sorry," he managed
to say.

"That's okay, please go on," Brian said.

Keith nodded and continued with his story. "When I trusted him, I made the
biggest mistake of my life. I told him everything, all that I was feeling
and all that I fantasized about. When he had enough stuff, he tried to use
it against me. He proposed that in order for him not to tell my family, I
would have to have sex with him. I got really disgusted when he suggested
such a thing. I mean I was not attracted to him. I thought of him as a
brother, I mean I could talk to him about stuff that I could not talk to my
brother about. I told him to leave. I don't think I really cared if he went
to my family or not. He was surprised by my reaction. I guess he thought
that I would jump at any suggestion he made as long as he didn't tell my
family. Anyway, he left telling me that he would give me until my birthday
to come to my senses. As my birthday neared, I got really nervous because I
did not want to ruin my special day with my family. Much to my horror, Chris
came to the private celebration that I usually just spent with my family. He
started acting stupid and dropping hints to my family. I got agitated and
blurted out that I was gay to my family. I think he was more shocked than I,
but he just pushed me to the edge. Well soon, my father asked Chris to leave
and then the fireworks started. And then I got kicked out and here I am."
Keith sighed as he finished his story. He hated telling that story because
it brought back too many sad memories.

Brian looked at Keith in shock. 'Boy, this guy certainly been through a
lot,' he thought as he continued staring at Keith.'

Keith looked up at Brian for his reaction. He was surprised to see the
shocked expression. He expected something else, actually anything else. He
did not think that Brian would have such a strong reaction. But, he knew
that the questions had not ended with the story.

"Before you ask, Chris got in touch with me after I got settled here. He
wanted to get together and see where fate leads us. I screamed at him the
first time he called. I told him in no uncertain terms, that I never wanted
to hear from him ever again. I told him that friends don't use friends like
that. But then I figured out that he never actually wanted to be my friend.
He just wanted to sleep with me from the very beginning. When I realized
that, I got even madder. Since then, he has been calling me every week or so
to start over. He still thinks that I will forgive him and be "friends" with
him. I scream at him every time he calls, but the message never sinks in his
mind." Keith sighed as he explained his feelings to Brian.

Keith was not upset that he had to explain all this to Brian because he
trusted Brian completely. He was upset at the fact that all this was
happening in the early stages of their relationship. He wanted to tell Brian
all these things at a later stage, but he was forced to go through all this
pain so early.  He was starting to worry that Brian would decide that he was
not ready to be involved with someone that had such a "colorful" past. But,
atleast there were no more hidden skeletons in Keith's closet. All of them
had been forced in plain view to see. Now Brian knew the bad Keith along
with the good Keith.

Brian looked at Keith and immediately hugged him. He had a feeling about
what Keith was thinking, and he wanted to throw that thought out of Keith's
mind. He was never going to leave Keith, and he wanted Keith to have no
doubt about that fact.

Keith reluctantly let go of Brian and looked in his eyes. "Are you really
okay with this?" he asked seriously.

"Yes, I am okay with it babe. There is no reason not to be," Brian replied
using the same tone as Keith.

"I love you," Keith gasped out loud as he hugged Brian very tightly.

"I love you too babe," Brian managed to say before he felt the tight grip
that Keith had on his body.

Keith finally let go of Brian and kissed his lips. Brian accepted the kiss
and opened his mouth in response. He felt Keith's tongue penetrate his mouth
and touch his own tongue. This surprised Brian a little because in all the
sexual contact that they had, Brian had always taken the lead. But, he was
certainly not complaining. He kissed Keith back with a passion.

They kissed for what seemed like forever, but infact it had only been about
five minutes. Brian finally came up for air, leaving Keith's lips pouting at
the lack of contact with Brian's lips. Just as Brian was going back to his
delicious dessert, the phone rang.

"Damn, who could it be now," Brian said in a frustrated tone.

Keith snapped out of his daze as he heard the phone rang. He was not happy
that he had to end his kissing session with Brian, but he did know that it
was for the best. He knew that he was in no physical condition to continue.
His heart and other places on his body told him to go ahead, but his mind
told him to stop. In the end, his mind won over. He snapped out of his
trance just in time to hear Brian talking to Kevin on the phone.

"Hello," Brian said as he answered the phone.

"Hi Brian, everything okay?" Kevin asked tentatively.

"Yes Kevin, everything is peachy," Brian cheerfully replied.

"Okay, listen, I was thinking that breakfast tomorrow over there is a bad
idea. I mean Keith should not cooking for so many people in his condition,"
Kevin said in a serious tone.

"Now, why do you automatically assume that Keith is the one who will be
cooking," Brian snickered as he winked at Keith.

"Because I know that you can't cook. Remember, I tried your experiment, or
should I say disaster," Kevin said while snickering.

"Hey, it wasn't that bad. Atleast, I tried, I didn't see any of you guys
jumping up at the chance to try to cook," Brian defended his actions and his
cooking.

"Okay, okay, I will give you that, but seriously what are we going to do
about tomorrow?" Kevin asked again in a serious tone.

"It's okay Kevin, I will help Keith make breakfast," Brian replied in a
similar tone that Kevin had used.

"Okay, I know when I am beat, just make sure to call if it is too much, that
way we can pick up something on our way," Kevin said giving up.

"Will do, dad," Brian said jokingly.

"Bye, wiseguy," Kevin said.

"Bye," Brian said as he disconnected the phone call.

Keith was looking at Brian cautiously. He was not sure what the conversation
was really about, all he could gather was that it had something to do with
breakfast tomorrow. He awaited an explanation cautiously.

Brian explained the conversation to Keith. Keith found it very touching that
Kevin would care about him from exerting himself. He did not have that for a
while, and he really missed that. Now, he has a family to love and a family
that would love him back, regardless of his sexual orientation.

"Babe, I think that we should get to bed now since we have to get up and
make breakfast," Brian said as he got up from the couch and made his way
into the kitchen to put the phone back.

"Yeah, I think you are right," Keith said happily.

Brian walked back after locking the apartment door and turning off the extra
lights in the kitchen. He grabbed Keith's hand as they made their way into
the bedroom. They went into the bedroom hand in hand and sat on the bed.

"I will go use the bathroom first, and then you can go," Brian said as he
let go of Keith's hand and stood up.

Keith nodded his agreement as he watched Brian walk out of the room. 'I
don't think I deserve him,' he thought as he sighed. 'But then no one else
does either, so I might as well take him,' he thought as his smile returned
to his lips.

TBC.......