Date: Sat, 24 Apr 1999 16:04:31 -0400
From: Cory Jackson <coryj51@mindspring.com>
Subject: Bring Your Own BSB - Part 5

This story is a work of fiction and is not intended to imply anything about
the sexuality of any actual person or persons.

This story should only be read by those of legal age who do not have an
objection to homosexual relations between consenting adults.

Once again, I am grateful to those of you who have expressed your
encouragement to me in this effort.  It is my hope to create a story which
is enjoyable and on a par with some of the fine work I have myself enjoyed
here on the Archive.

Please direct any commentary to coryj51@mindspring.com


Bring Your Own BSB

by Cory J

Part  5


Much, much later..


Brian stretched in weary contentment as he and Nick entered the spacious
bathroom off their guest bedroom.  A glance over at Nick revealed that the
tall blond shared his feelings.  They were both exhausted from a lengthy
afternoon of passion that had only started on the large couch in the living
room.  From there, they had moved in stages back to the guest bedroom,
where they had proceeded to rock both of the large beds.  The boys
themselves were also something of a mess, both with a certain amount of
carpet burn and bodies full of aching muscles.  Brian smiled and took
Nick's hand as the two headed toward the shower.  They did not speak, which
was just as well from Brian's point of view.  It was a good thing they
didn't need to sing tomorrow.  He imagined that they both might well be
somewhat hoarse, for several reasons.  He knew in his heart that Nick would
see in his face that this had been the most incredible experience of his
life, that he loved Nick more than anything.  Brian knew this because he
could see the same words in Nick's own face.  So, the two young men gently
bathed each other in silence, letting expressions and touches speak for
themselves.

In due course, they emerged clean from the shower.  Slipping into clean
briefs and plush white hotel robes, the two took a look around the bedroom,
grinning and shaking their heads.

"Did we do this?" Brian asked with only slightly feigned disbelief.  "It
looks like a football team has been through here."

"Several football teams," Nick said, stretching his aching back.  "Each
position played long and hard."  After all their time together, it
delighted Nick that he could still make Brian blush regularly.

"Well, this isn't going to work," Brian said with surprising firmness.  "I
am nice and clean, and these beds are way not clean."

Nick looked at the two beds.  Brian was correct, to say the least.  "What
do you want to do?" he asked.

"Well, Alex mentioned that there were other guest bedrooms, but I don't
really want to poke around the suite looking," Brian said.

"Weren't you paying attention earlier?" Nick said with a grin.  "We already
`poked around', and then some."

"Stop that," Brian said, blushing deeply.  "Let me think a second."
Brian's face brightened after a moment.

"Nick, can we sleep with Alex?"  Brian asked.

Nick was somewhat startled.  "What?!" he asked, blushing himself for a
change.

Brian laughed, enjoying turning the tables onto Nick.  "Not like that,
silly.  You remember how huge the bed in his room is; besides, I'm still a
bit worried about Alex and I think that it would reassure him if he woke up
and we were there with him."

"Are you sure?" Nick asked. "I mean, if he really is a closet case wouldn't
it freak him out to find us in bed with him?  Especially if he's got the
hots for one of us?"

"You've got a point," Brian said.  "Still, I'm not talking about him waking
up with one of our hands around his dick or anything."

"Got that right," Nick said. "Neither of our hands would fit around that
thing.  Sheesh."

"Stop it," Brian said, elbowing Nick playfully. "That's the kind of thing
that would make him feel awkward."

They jostled lightly with each other for a few minutes, then embraced
lightly.

"Ok, ok.  You might be right, it could make him feel safe I guess," Nick
conceded.  "Plus, that bed was pretty nice.  Let's go - I'm pretty wiped
out."  "You are pretty all the time, Nick," Brian said, kissing Nick
softly.

"Awww, baby," Nick said, holding Brian close.

Together the two of them made their way into the master bedroom, noting
that Alex was still fast asleep but had moved to the right side of the huge
bed.  They slipped quietly around and climbed into the left side of the
bed.  Turning on their right sides, Nick spooned up behind Brian and pulled
him close.  Both boys were fast asleep in a matter of minutes.


Alex drifted in oblivion for what seemed a very long time.  He gradually
emerged from the gray nothingness become aware first of the warm and
softness of the bed that he lay in.  He reflexively tried to sit up, and
made another discovery.  His entire body was sore, every muscle clearly
outlined by the pumped, tight feeling.  The sudden movement nearly made him
cry out in pain, though he managed to keep quiet.  Moving very carefully,
Alex took a look around the room as the memory of what had happened in the
guest room before came back to him.  This time however, it brought sadness
rather than panic.  Nick and Brian were surely gone at this point, he
thought.  They probably thought he was some kind of rich sicko who got off
on playing games with people.  Alex had known some people who were like
that, and hoped that he never would be.  Yes, Nick and Brian were
definitely gone, in fact, they were ..in the bed next to him.

With a leap that would have delighted his gymnastics coaches, Alex was
suddenly standing several feet away from the bed.  Gritting his teeth
against the sudden pain, he noticed that he was wearing only briefs, and
they weren't the briefs he remembered having on before.  No, the leopard
skin briefs he was currently wearing were something that he carried around
more as a gag than anything else.

Caught between stress and amusement, Alex made his way to a chair and sat
down, looking at his two guests as they lay sleeping in his bed.  He flexed
his limbs carefully.  It wasn't going to be so bad, a few days and some
care would get him back to normal.  Alex shook his head in embarrassment at
the memory of his running out and bingeing at the gym.  Well, the guys
hadn't left after all.  Not only that, but they were probably the ones who
got him back to the room and into bed.  Even more, he'd clearly had a
shower and change of clothes, they were probably behind that as well.  Alex
felt his face redden and a glance down indicated that blood was rushing
somewhere else as well.  Well, they had seen everything he had anyway, Alex
thought with a smile.  He slipped a hand into the briefs, groaning as his
palm found the swelling shaft.  It had been a while - coaches and parents
alike had raised him to view this as an indulgence, a waste of energy.
Though he hadn't listened to them all the time, it was still a guilty
pleasure in his mind.  Guilty or not, though, he needed some relief badly.
Alex stood and confirmed with a glance that his guests seemed to still be
fast asleep.  Then he slowly removed his briefs and leaned back in the
comfortable reclining chair.  Closing his eyes, Alex spread his legs and
began to caress his balls as they began to slowly pulse and tighten in
their smooth sack.  As he began to give himself over to the sensations
flowing throw his body, his soft moans became louder.  Loud enough, as it
happened, to attract some notice.

Nick had been drifting in and out of a light sleep for some time, and awoke
with a slight jerk at the growing sounds in the room.  As always, Brian was
the first thing he thought of, and the first thing he noticed.  After a
brief nuzzling of his lips against Brian's irresistible neck, Nick turned
and saw Alex's nude figure sitting in the chair.  After a moment of shock,
Nick found that he couldn't look away - he was fascinated by the sight of
Alex pleasuring himself.

Nick wondered how many years Alex had spent training and developing his
body.  He looked like an embodiment of a classical ideal of beauty.  His
body was a stunning blend of form, symmetry and proportion.  Sweat was
beginning to glisten on his smooth skin as his muscles flexed and shifted
beneath.  His right hand had moved up from his balls to slowly pump his
hardening shaft.  Nick had seen Alex soft earlier, but was still a bit
surprised at the size of his erection.  The young man was both a shower and
a grower.  Any larger, and it would have been freakish rather than
attractive.  As it was, Alex was sure to draw stares of appreciation from
any bystanders.  Alex's face was a fine blend of youthful innocence and
sensuous beauty.  Sitting there with his eyes squeezed shut and his lips
pressed together, Alex would be a dream come true for any model agency.
Nick wondered if he had ever considered posing for a portfolio.  Meanwhile,
Alex's left hand was busy exploring his abs, caressing the hardened ridges
of muscle beneath the smooth tight skin.  Judging from the increasing
moaning, this was a serious turn on for him.

Nick turned away briefly as he felt Brian stirring beside him.  Covering
Brian's mouth lightly, Nick shushed him and indicated the glistening form
of Alex in the chair.  After a second of confusion, Brian's mouth fell open
and he joined Nick in watching the boy exploring his own body.

Alex began to pump his cock more and more rapidly, his free hand moving up
to explore the rest of his muscular torso.  Finally, with a series of
muffled gasps, Alex pushed himself over the top.  He continued to pump his
cock as it sprayed ribbon after ribbon of semen over his torso.  Once he
finally ran dry, Alex just lay there for several minutes, eyes closed and
head thrown back, his whole body shivering with the intense pleasure he had
just given himself.

Nick and Brian were nearly caught off guard when he finally opened his
eyes, but were able to lie back down and feign sleep just in time.  Alex's
head was still very light and he did not see through the act.  He got to
his feet somewhat wearily, picked up the briefs, and headed into the
bathroom.  Stepping into the shower, Alex turned the water on - making it
as hot as he could stand.  Alex moaned slightly as the hot steamy water
sprayed over his body.  It had always been one of his favorite things about
hotels - that they never seemed to run out of hot water.  The water was
very mineral soft, and Alex was quickly covered in thick suds from the thin
bar of soap.  After a few seconds, he gave into temptation and allowed his
hands to began worshipping his body once more.  Slowly hardening once
again, Alex yelped with pleasure as his fingertips found and explored the
snug pucker between his muscular buttocks.  The shower drain obligingly
disposed of water, suds, and semen alike.  For several minutes, Alex leaned
against the shower wall panting as the hot water continued to flow across
his broad shoulders and down his back.  When he finally emerged, he was
thoroughly clean and relaxed.  With a grin, he slipped the leopard skin
briefs back on and put on one of the luxurious white hotel robes, leaving
the ties untied.  Wiping the fogged up mirror with a washcloth he went
about brushing his teeth, and combing his thick blond hair back.  Once
again, Alex thought how badly he needed a hair cut.  He'd be in town for a
few days, maybe it was time to take care of it.

Meanwhile, Nick and Brian had `awakened' and were talking quietly on the
bed.  They agreed not to mention watching Alex's solo session.  Before
long, Nick's mischievous nature led him to start a tickle war, which
escalated to a full-blown pillow fight by the time Alex emerged with a
cloud of steam from the bathroom.

Alex watched for a second as the two attractive young men laughed and
swatted each other with pillows.  Then, wearing a very boyish grin, he
snatched up a free pillow and scored a fine surprise whack on Nick as the
boy turned to look at him.  Brian and Alex burst out laughing hysterically
at the sight of Nick, sprawled backward on the bed, hair and eyes equally
wild, with the most comical look of surprise on his face.  Then, the tall
blond was up and swinging furiously at both of them.  A short time later,
the pillows were abandoned and the boys were wrestling around on the bed.
It tended to be an uneven contest, as Alex was by far the strongest of the
three.  Finally, after being pinned by the younger boy several times each,
Brian and Nick teamed up and managed to press Alex down against the
mattress.  They all gradually became quiet, smiles fading somewhat, as Alex
relaxed beneath his captors.  Nick and Brian each had the same thought,
looking and nodding at one another.

Nick leaned forward and touch his lips to Alex's in a slow, sweet kiss.
Alex stared at him in astonishment after they parted.  Then it was Brian's
turn.  After Brian leaned back from his own warm kiss, he just looked at
Alex for a few minutes.

"Do you want to talk about it?"  Brian asked quietly.

Alex sat up slowly and then pulled both boys into a soft embrace.

"Yes.  I've wanted to talk about it with someone for a long time," Alex
said, releasing them after a moment.  "Thank you both for staying, I was so
afraid that you would be gone.  Thank you for helping me."

"Why did you think we would leave?" Nick asked.

"Brian told you what happened?" Alex said, pausing until Nick nodded.  "You
two are a couple, aren't you?"

The boys both smiled and nodded.

"Well, you hide it pretty well, I didn't see it until I saw you together in
the room," Alex paused, looking down at the floor briefly.  "I guess you've
figured out that I'm gay too."

"We kind of thought you might be - was that what scared you so much?"
Brian asked.

"Yes.  When I saw the two of you together, I knew what I wanted, what I
needed," Alex replied.  "I've haven't really accepted it, I guess - being
gay, I mean."

"I know how that is," Nick said.  "I didn't really come to terms with it
under after I met Brian."

Brian nodded.  "I went through it a little later than Nick did - but we
basically found each other."  He absently took and held Nick's hand
lightly.

"Have you told your families yet?" Alex asked.

"Not yet," Brian said.  "The rest of the band knows, and we told Nick's
brother Aaron."  He cast and amused glance at Nick, who was looking
slightly embarrassed.

"Yeah, we didn't have much of a choice on that one," Nick said.  "The
little guy walked in on us kissing in a hotel room.  All because Brian
forgot to lock the door."

"Hey, don't blame me," Brian protested.  "I was just sitting in a chair and
chilling out when you decided to use me as a snorkel."

They all laughed quietly at that.

"How did Aaron take it?"  Alex asked.  "It must have been surprising for
him."

"He's really sharp for a kid his age," Nick said. "We didn't have to
explain what was going on - he just starting giggling and said `you're gay,
Nick?'.  The only hard part was convincing him that it needed to stay a
secret, even from our parents."  He and Brian laughed briefly.

"Aaron is at that age where he worships Nick - the fact that they are so
much alike only heightens it."  Brian said.  "I'll admit I got a bit
freaked when he asked if that meant that he was gay too."

"I'll bet it did," Alex said.  "How did you handle that one?"

"Well, once we got a grip it wasn't too bad," Nick said.  "We managed to
get it through to him that it was just the way we had been born."

"Yes," Brian agreed. "I think Aaron understands that it is something that
he will have to discover about himself when the time comes.  I wish
everyone was as open-minded as children seem to be."

"Anyway, apart from a giggle or two now and then, Aaron hasn't said a word
to anyone." Nick said. "He's really earned our trust."

"Well, I'd never out you guys, I want you to know that," Alex said quickly.

"I never doubted it," Brian replied.

"Yeah, we both knew we could trust you," Nick added.  "And you know we
would never out you either."

"Thanks guys," Alex said.  "It's such a relief to be able to talk to
someone about this.  Have you guys ever thought seriously about going
public about it?"

Both boys nodded quickly.

"Yeah, we have," Brian said.  "The main reason to wait at this point is the
career for the band.  I wouldn't mind taking my chances if it was just us,
but the other guys don't deserve to have the group flushed because of us.
I'm afraid that it probably would do it, too."

"Yeah, I could see that," Alex said.  "The so-called `boy bands' seem to
rely a lot on the teenage girl thing."

Alex looked up quickly.  "Hey, I'm sorry guys, I didn't mean anything by
it."

"Hey, its ok, really," Brian said.  "We know what's going on."

"Yeah, there's nothing to hide about that," Nick said.  "This whole thing
is based around the idea of putting a group of guys who are attractive in
different ways and who can sing and dance up on a stage to draw the teens
in - and the majority are the girls."

"Thanks, guys," Alex said, looking relieved.  "I was starting to feel like
a nosy reporter there for a minute.  I wasn't trying to say that you are
just image though, I've seen some of your videos and stuff.  You guys
really have talent."

Both boys looked pleased.

"Thanks, Alex," Brian said.  "The dance stuff is the hardest part, I
think."

"Yeah, I think so too," Nick said.  "Keeping the moves right and the songs
going at the same time."

"I don't doubt it," Alex replied.  "Do you guys lip sync much - if you
don't mind me asking?"

"It's ok," Brian said. "The songs put in separately for the videos of
course.  We do lip sync for TV performances some times, but not during
concerts, except for a few times when we've had sore throats or other
problems."

"Yeah, that kind of thing," Nick said. "And it is always us singing,
there's no Milli Vanilli going on here."

"It's really a blast," Brian said.  "At the risk of sounding like a total
pansy, I have to say that I really like all the clothes too."

They all laughed for a minute at that.

"There's something I'll have to show you later," Alex said.  "I bet you
will really laugh."

"But, yeah, to get back to what we were saying before," Brian said.  "We do
plan on coming out, at least to family, once the band has run its course."

"Yeah, that's right, " Nick said.  "We are realistic enough to know that
the band probably only has a few years before the `next generation' takes
over.  When it's time to stop the bus, we will come out and be open about
our relationship."

Nick turned suddenly and pulled Brian in for a delicious kiss.  Alex looked
on and smiled quietly.  After a few moments, Brian pulled reluctantly away
from the kiss.

"I'm sorry, I hope that we aren't making you uncomfortable," Brian said.
"It's just that don't often get to be with each other and .."

"It's ok, really," Alex said quickly.  "I think I understand how difficult
it must be for you."

"So, what about you?"  Brian asked.  "Have you told your parents?"

Brian bit his lip at the sight of Alex's suddenly stricken face and
simultaneously remembered what he already knew about Alex's parents.

"I'm so sorry," Brian said.  "I forgot that they were.."

"It's ok," Alex said, recovering after a moment.  Seeing the confused look
on Nick's face, he explained.  "My parents were killed in an airplane crash
two years ago."

"Oh god, Alex," Nick said.  "That's terrible - I'm sorry."

"Thank you," Alex said.  "Don't feel bad, Brian.  I still have to remind
myself sometimes that they are gone.  To answer your question, my parents
knew about me, though I didn't exactly tell them."

"How did they find out?" Brian asked.  "Did someone out you or something?"

"When I was 15, they basically caught me with someone."  Alex replied.
"One of the things about being an aspiring Olympic athlete, you are
surround a lot of the time with really hot looking guys.  Once I started
making teams, I wasn't able to train entirely on my own as I had when I was
younger.  There isn't a lot of fraternization between teams of different
countries, though it depends on the countries somewhat.  On my own teams,
though, it was a different story.  It wasn't so much that a lot of the guys
were gay or bi, but there was a lot of body worship that went on,
especially in contact sports like wrestling and martial arts.  Put lots of
extremely healthy teenage boys together, cut them off from other leisure
activities, and things heat up."

"I hadn't really thought about it before, but it makes sense," Brian said.

"Yeah, it does," Nick agreed.  "All those hot guys around each other.  So,
was it another athlete that you were caught with?"

"Actually, no, it wasn't," Alex replied.  "I was sort of `off limits' to
the guys who might have been interested.  A combination of having famous
parents and the money, I guess.  Well, no, that's not the whole story.  I
was kind of stand-offish, especially at first.  I had been used to training
privately, and I was starting to feel the pressure make and stay on the
teams for which I qualified.  I saw some things happen between guys, but it
was all carefully kept secret, and it made it seem dirty somehow.

One of the things about being as rich as my family was is that you have a
lot of eyes on you, and they usually weren't kind eyes.  I was ready to be
conscious of that, and how the press could really complicate things for us.
I had a couple of near misses, but I was always worried about getting
caught and making my folks look bad.

"We sure understand that," Brian said.  "The press would chew us up if they
knew about us."

"Yes, and I knew it would be same for my family if I made a mistake," Alex
said.  "Of course, that didn't cure me of raging teen hormones.  What's
worse, I had begun to realize about this time that I was gay, though I was
in serious denial.  There was this one guy, one of the assistant coaches,
that I really starting lusting after.  It wasn't that he was so much better
looking than the other guys, but he seemed interested in me and seemed to
understand some of what I was going through.  We became friends very
quickly and before I knew it I began to confide in him."

"Uh-oh, you told him?" Nick asked.  "Not in so many words," Alex said.  "He
picked up on my hints pretty quickly though, and gradually began to talk
about how he'd had `experiences' with some of the other guys on the team.
It was very disarming, I guess because he seemed to be saying that the
feelings I was having were ok.

I had never spoken with anyone else about the feelings.  I didn't really
have any close friends at the time.  I knew that my parents loved me and
would always protect me, but the whole thing had seemed dirty and ugly to
me and I was ashamed to tell them, afraid that they would be disgusted with
me or ashamed of me.

On the other hand, here was this guy who was accepting and even encouraging
me.  After a while, we had what amounted to a confrontation, where he made
me come out and admit to him point blank that I was gay and I was
interested in him.  I didn't realize it at the time, but he was working
very hard to seduce me."

Alex paused for a moment, and blushed slightly.

"You guys have seen what I've - well, what I've got, " he said.  "Well,
tights, speedos, and singlets don't leave much to the imagination anyway.
Well, apparently I was the `big man on the team' if you follow me."

The boys smiled, blushing as well at the memory of Alex's erection.

"Well, anyway, I kept getting hard during practices, " Alex continued. "I
was beginning to felt sort of like a circus freak.  It actually popped out
of my speedos during a regional competition one time - I thought I was
going to die on the spot.  Anyway, the point here is that I wasn't
comfortable with my - um, equipment.

Instead of teasing me about it, though, this guy kept talking about what a
big man I was - and very soon was telling me that I was turning him on.  In
the weeks that followed, we eventually reached the point where we were
making out in his office at lot, though I had resisted doing anything more
up until that point.  At first, he seemed ok with it, but eventually got
more and more pushy about it.  Finally one day, he pushed me too far and I
told him that I wouldn't be coming to him anymore.  He seemed to accept my
decision at the time.

A few days later, I received a large envelope in my locker.  It had
pictures of me and him making out and a tape of my admission of being gay.
Inside was a note from me demanding that I go see him.  When I did so, he
told me that he would send copies to my parents and the press if I didn't
give him what he wanted.  What he wanted turned out to be mainly money -
apparently getting me into bed had been part of the plan to trap me more
tightly, and had somehow turned into a pride thing for him.  He really got
off on the idea of taking a rich kid and getting money and sex out of him -
it was about control, I guess.

"Damn, I would have freaked out," Nick said.  "Me too, what did you do?"
Brian asked.

"At, first, I did whatever he asked," Alex said, looking away briefly.
"The money wasn't a problem - I had my own money, my own accounts, as far
back as I could remember.  The sex was another matter.  At first he really
got off on making me suck him, every day sometimes more than once.  I got
better at it with time, but it always made me feel very dirty - very cheap.
I lived in fear for a while that he would want to fuck me at some point,
but it never came to that.  Oddly, enough, he seemed more interested in my
cock than my mouth or ass.  At first he just fondled me while I sucked him,
but eventually the roles sort of reversed.  Ultimately, he was the one who
was on his knees every day.  Some days he didn't even insist on a 69 from
me.  I think that the whole thing started getting messed up in his head -
he kept demanding more and more money, I think more to convince himself
that he was still in control than anything.

I won't claim to mind getting head every day, but his needs were making him
more and more reckless.  In the beginning, everything had happened behind a
locked door - either in his office, or at his apartment.  After a month or
so, though, he was taking what he wanted in bathroom stalls and locker
rooms.  After a couple of near misses with getting caught, I realized that
it was going to come out eventually no matter what I did.  After agonizing
over it for several days, I finally confronted him and told him that I
wasn't giving him anything more from that point on.

"Wow, that really took guts," Nick said.  Brian nodded in agreement.

"Thanks, I was really scared, but there was no end in sight," Alex replied.
"He didn't take it very well, as you might expect.  He threatened me as
before with exposure to my parents and the public, but I managed to stick
to my guns.  After a few days, my father called me."

"Ouch, the guy had carried through with the threat?"  Brian asked.

"Yes, though he had only informed my parents at that point," Alex replied.
"He sent copies of the pictures and tape along with a demand for money, a
lot of money.  My father spoke with me, asking me about what had been going
on.  I eventually broken down and told him the entire truth - I was so
ashamed of what I had done, what I had become."  Alex paused and rubbed at
his eyes briefly.

Nick leaned forward and hugged Alex.  "It wasn't your fault, man," he said.

"Nick's right," Brian added. "That guy set you up and took advantage of who
you were.  What did your father do after that?"

"He resolved it very quickly," Alex said.  "It was actually funny, though I
didn't appreciate it at the time.  The next day he flew in and took me with
him to confront the guy.  We all three ended up in the guys office, and my
father let him have it at that point.  Basically, he offered the guy a
deal.  He could take the money that I had already paid him, quit his job,
and vanish for good, or he would find himself up on charges for having sex
with a minor and so on.  He basically called the guy's bluff about going
public.  I had been so scared of being found out that I hadn't realized
that the same info would destroy the man's career and probably land him in
jail if it got out.  Dad really rubbed the guy's nose in how much money and
power we had, and how we could take a lot more crap and still come out ok.

The guy basically freaked out - gave my Dad all the stuff he had on me, and
ran for the hills.  Then it was time for Dad to talk to me about all of
it."

Alex paused for a few minutes - the other boys waiting patiently without
saying anything.

"He wasn't angry with me, there was not hatred or disgust in his voice or
his eyes," Alex said.  "But he was disappointed in me, I could tell.  At
the time, I think he believed that the gay thing was just a phase or
something, a horny boy looking for something to do.  He talked to me about
how much responsibility the money and influence carried with them.  He said
that he needed to trust that I would do what needed to be done, that he
needed to be able to leave things with me with the time came.

I couldn't stop crying - he needed me to be strong and I had failed him.  I
kept telling him that I would be good, that I would do better from then on,
but I could just tell that he didn't believe me.  The doubt in his eyes was
the most painful thing I had ever seen at the time."

Alex paused again - looking up at Brian.

"That is where I was mentally this morning in your room," Alex said.  "When
I saw the two of you together, I knew that I would never be happy unless I
had someone to love like you did.  It all came back to me and it was like I
was going to fail my parents again, that I would give in to those feelings
that had made me feel dirty and weak before.  I had to get out, to prove
that I was strong.

After the original incident, I worked as hard as I could to prove to my Dad
that I would be strong, would be worthy of him.  It wasn't what he wanted
from me - he had just been afraid that I would be hurt.  I didn't
understand that, though.  About a year later, the accident happened.  I had
to identify their bodies - it was the only way I could believe that they
were gone."

"I remember seeing the funeral in the news," Brian said.  "It was a huge
event, on every channel."

"Yes, at lot of people likened it to the funeral of JFK," Alex said.  "My
parents had done huge amounts of charitable work all over the world, in
addition to all their business and political dealings.  There were
officials from a couple dozen countries there, including the President and
Vice President.  It was the reason why the service took place on the estate
in Dallas, even though they were buried elsewhere - we needed the largest
place we had to make it work, and the Dallas estate is huge."

"I remember how big it was - hey, didn't you sing at the funeral?"  Brian
said.

"You sing, too?" Nick asked.

"Yes, Mom and I used to sing together all the time," Alex replied.  "She
was Irish - I sang an old Gaelic traveling song that she really liked.  We
actually released an album of folk songs together, under different names.
It didn't really catch on, but the material was good, I always thought.

After that, I focused on a handful of things - the Olympic games,
investigating my parents' death, and trying to take over running their
business interests.  In time, I was satisfied that it had been a horrible
accident.  Everything that I won at the games, I dedicated to their memory.
It was my finest hour, I only wish they could have seen it."

"Yeah, you were incredible," Nick said.  "Racking up perfect and
near-perfect scores, setting records, everyone was talking about it. "

"Do you have a copy of the album?"  Brian asked.  "I'd really like to hear
it sometime."

"Yeah, I've got one of the CDs around here somewhere," Alex replied.
"Anyway, the point of all of this is that I had to admit that I was still
attracted to guys when I saw the two of you together - I had to face that I
wouldn't be happy without what the two of you have.  I was afraid that you
would think I was some kind of pervert, or that I was playing some sort of
game with you.  This isn't about wanting to sleep with you guys, I need you
to believe that.  I am attracted to both of you, but I never intended to
put a move on you or anything.  I just wanted someone to talk to, and you
guys seemed so cool and all."

The two boys moved over and embraced Alex tightly.

"It's ok," Brian said.  "We didn't think that, honest."

"Yeah, dude," Nick added.  "Besides, we're both attracted to you too."

Alex pulled away and looked at Brian, who nodded.

"Really?" Alex said.  "You mean that?"

In response, both boys began to nuzzle either side of Alex's exposed neck.

"Oh boy" Alex said, as his robe was slipped from his shoulders.

The End of Part 5