Date: Wed, 31 Jan 2001 16:20:04 -0800 (PST)
From: NCfan <ngclle@yahoo.com>
Subject: boy-bands/calming waters 16

Well, here's chapter 16.  I never thought I'd make it this far, but here it
is.  You guys are the best readers!  Thanks for all your support for my
stories!

Disclaimer: I don't know BSB or Nsync.  I don't know their management.
Don't know their orientation.  This story is pure, 100% fiction and
contains material of an adult nature.  People under 18 should stop reading
now.  You have been warned.  Comments?  ngclle@yahoo.com

*************************

Brian kissed Nick's forehead longingly.  Nick had fallen asleep very
quickly and only stirred a little when Brian's lips made contact with him.

Brian heard the door open and close as Moju came back home.  Brian quickly
pulled his hand up and brushed the locks of golden hair off Nick's cheeks.

He heard Moju step into the living room quietly.

"Any luck?" Moju asked, sensing the tension in the room.

"He's tired," Brian said sadly.

"Help me in the kitchen," Moju said as he walked past Nick's sleeping
figure.  Together, they left Nick on the couch.

"Something had to have happened, either on that island or in the hospital."
Moju's voice was adamant.

Brian cringed.  "He won't say anything.  Look at the way he slept.  He
looks so helpless."  The tears drifted down Brian's cheeks.  "I don't want
to see him like this."

Moju sighed and looked away.  "One of them raped him."

Brian snapped from his sadness.  "How . . . how can you be so sure?  Justin
or Jeff?  I . . . I mean . . . they couldn't possibly . . . not without his
permission."  But even as Brian said that, he knew deep down in his heart
that Moju was right.

"It could be that Justin raped Nick and that Nick is keeping silent to
protect him."  Moju's voice was pensive, sad.

Brian stared at Moju, disturbed.  "Or it could be Jeff?  Why would Jeff do
something like that?  I don't think he likes Nick that way."

Moju sighed.  "It doesn't matter.  Perhaps to Nick, it's all the same.  He
was violated.  Why else would he try to run away from that hut?"

Brian felt the tears coming again.  "He deserves so much more."

Moju smiled sadly.  "He does have that much more.  He has you . . . and
me."

Brian's head bobbed up from Moju's words.  Moju was obviously trying to
gain some ground with Nick.  He could hear it in the man's voice, in his
actions.  Moju didn't want to let Nick go.  And suddenly, Brian realized
that perhaps he was fending off a man whose love for Nick was many times
deeper than Justin's.

But could Brian truly share Nick in earnest?  He loved Nick too much and
though he wanted Nick to get lots of attention, he was uncomfortable with
Nick getting THAT much attention.  And as wonderful as Moju had been during
the past few days, Brian knew that when it came to Nick, the same noble man
would turn vicious.

Moju's eyes not only burned of love, they revealed an animal-like lust as
well.  For some reason, Nick just transformed innocent men into sex-crazed
beasts.  The boy was too hypnotizing.  Brian sighed.  And not even someone
as experienced, as powerful as Moju could resist the temptation.

He had a feeling that this was the beginning of something dark.  Suddenly,
Lance didn't look so evil anymore.  Brian sighed.  No.  His ultimate battle
for Nick would be with Moju, where the webs were being weaved and the
fields were ready for combat.

Problem was, Brian didn't want to fight.  He was afraid to fight.  Nick was
near dead just from the experience with Justin.  How could they think of
fighting for him at this moment?

Yet the idea lingered in Brian's mind.  It was obvious that Moju was laying
the groundwork.  Why else would he not leave Brian to be with Nick for more
than an hour?  Brian sighed.  He will not act too brash.  For the moment,
if Moju could heal Nick, then Brian would not stop him.  But as he made
this decision, he knew that he wasn't that generous.  He wanted Nick,
badly.  And despite what Moju would do to get Nick back, Brian will not
give in without a worthy fight.

*******************

As Brian started to wash the foods, Moju left the kitchen to check on Nick.
He found the youth lying uncomfortably on the couch.  In a few strides, he
was hovering over Nick's exhausted body.  He kneeled down so that their
faces were inches apart and smiled.

"You're a tough one to handle, aren't you?"  He stroked Nick's cheeks
lightly.  "You know, Brian's having a nervous breakdown at this moment.
And I think I will too."  His words were ever so soft and reassuring.
"Wake up, Nick."

Nick's eyes slowly opened, and at once, Moju knew that Nick had been awake
all this time.  He probably even heard their conversation in the kitchen.
Moju smiled reassuringly and placed his lips on Nick's.  His kiss was
chaste and he did not try anything more invasive, knowing how Nick would
probably react.

"Tell me what's wrong, Nick.  Brian's worried, and so am I.  Tell me why
you're acting like this.  What did they do to you on that island?"

Nick's warm blue eyes flickered a little.  Moju placed the palm of his hand
on Nick's jawbone, lightly stroking it.  He felt the warm tears moistening
his fingers and he instinctively leaned in to give Nick a hug.

Nick's arms reflexively curled around the older man's body.  "They don't
want me.  They used me and they don't want me anymore."  Nick's voice was
almost inaudible as he talked into Moju's chest.

"Who?"

"My mom.  Randy.  They don't want me anymore."  Nick began to shake hard.
Moju held him tighter, as if afraid that he would collapse in his arms.

"You don't need them.  Nick, you have Brian.  You have me.  And Kevin.  Aj.
Howie.  We're your family now.  We all love you."

Nick shook his head wildly.  "You all have your own families.  I'm not
. . . "

Nick never had the chance to finish his statement when Moju sealed his lips
with a strong, but tender kiss.  "I have no family, Nick.  I want you to be
my family."  He managed to quiet Nick down.  The younger boy slowly eased
in his embrace and relaxed his muscles.  He looked up into Moju's green
eyes longingly.

"Brian."  Nick whispered.  Moju felt a tinge of jealousy as Nick called out
the name of his lover.  Moju smiled a bittersweet smile and held onto his
tears, willing them not to flow down his cheeks.

"Brian's in the kitchen."  Moju didn't trust himself to speak, but somehow
he managed to say those words while staring at Nick's blue eyes.  "But I'm
here now."  With that, he let his hands innocently slide down Nick's side
and rested at his hips.

He looked longingly into Nick's eyes.  "I've missed you," Moju whispered
into Nick's ears.  "Come, let's help Brian cook."

Nick nodded and struggled to his feet.  But his feet were still weak
because as soon as he got up, he collapsed onto Moju.  Moju smiled at the
closeness and dependence on Nick's part.  He let the younger man lean onto
him as he put a hand around Nick's waist and helped Nick towards the
kitchen.  At least Nick didn't shy away from every touch.

Plus, he managed to kiss the younger man.  Moju smiled smugly.  Nick was
still open to his love.  He was not going to give up until the very end.
Just remembering that one erotic night with Nick was reason enough to
continue this fight.  He couldn't help but think of the way Nick's soft
skin felt under his fingertips.  Nor could he forget how raw and cool
Nick's lips were.  He desperately wanted another night like that, but he
knew that Brian would be thinking the very same thing.

Deep down, he knew that he didn't want to share Nick.  But he loved the boy
too much to make Nick choose between him and Brian.  Not that he was afraid
to pressure Nick, but because he knew that Nick would choose Brian at this
moment.  He needed time to prove to Nick that his love was just as pure as
Brian's.  He needed to recapture that one night in bed with the boy.

Finally, Moju and Nick entered the kitchen where Brian was busily cooking
away.  Moju placed Nick on a chair and walked up to help Brian.  Brian
jumped when Moju neared, not noticing that the man was in the kitchen until
he was a foot away.

"Sheesh, you scared the hell out of me!" Brian cried out.  As the words
came out of his mouth, Brian suddenly noticed the other figure in the room.
"Nick?"  Brian's eyes widened from fear.  "Nick!  You should be resting!"

Brian turned to Moju with a little anger.  "Why did you bring him here?
He's tired.  He needs rest."

Moju shrugged his shoulders.  "He can't sleep all day.  Plus, a little
excitement would do him good.  He wants to help you cook."

Brian looked uncertainly at Moju.  Then he looked at Nick.  "You wanna make
a fruit salad?"

Nick nodded.  He got up and barely took a few steps to the counter when
Brian and Moju saw his body sway and his eyes closed.  The two older men
each ran towards Nick and managed to grab him before he fell to the floor.

"You shouldn't have let him get up!" Brian cried out angrily at Moju.

"I thought a little activity would do him good."  Moju's voice was soft,
worried.  "I didn't think he was that weak."

"Sorry," Nick mumbled before trembling.  "I'm so useless."

"No, Nick?  Don't do this, okay?  You're not drifting away like that.
Nick, here.  Wake up!" Brian furiously grabbed Nick's shoulders and shook
him.

Moju had to stop Brian from shaking too hard.  "You're making it worse.
He's dizzy and weak!"  With that, Moju carried Nick in his arms and headed
towards the bedroom.  Brian followed close behind.

As they entered the bedroom, Moju gently placed Nick on the bed.  Nick
broke a sweat and began to shake.  Brian panicked.

"What's going on?"

"He must be getting a fever," Moju answered worriedly.

Brian ran into the bathroom to find some Tylenol while Moju tried to dab
off the sweat from Nick's body.

When Brian finally entered the bedroom again, he noticed that Nick was
mumbling something.  He ran to the bed with the medicine.  "What's he
saying?" Brian asked.

"Shhhh."  Moju shushed Brian as the two listened attentively.

At first, Nick's words were a jumble, but later on, he became more
coherent.  "Don't.  Please.  Daddy.  Don't.  It hurts."

"He's hallucinating!" Brian cried out.

"No.  He's probably having flashbacks or something."  Moju replied
pensively.  "I can't believe that Randy had that much of an impact on him."

"Impact?  Is that how you describe a father raping his very own son?
Forgive me for saying this but impact is hardly the word I would use to
describe such an atrocious crime!"  Brian's voice was rough and harsh, but
he didn't care.  He didn't like the way Moju minimized the horrible act
that Randy had committed.

Moju became silent.

Brian couldn't resist.  He had to continue.  "He had basically destroyed
Nick's entire childhood.  Now, everything that Nick does makes him feel
even less secure.  And all that crap that Justin and Jeff were doing to him
. . . they . . . "  Brian was too fueled by anger to finish his line.

"They pretty much cut his connection with us," Moju finished.

Brian suddenly looked at Moju.  "Do you know that Nick had this imaginary
friend named Daemon.  Supposedly he's a character from a book.  And
something happened to him in the book.  Like he was raped by many people
and I think Nick said something about him being insane.  Had Nick told you
about that?"  Brian asked curiously.

Moju's eyes lighted up.  "Yeah.  He mentioned it to me one night.  This
Daemon character became insane.  But in the end, Daemon was led out of his
insanity by the very person he loved and trusted the most."

Moju and Brian suddenly realized that Nick had stopped mumbling.  He was
listening in on their conversation!  Brian nodded for Moju to continue.
"In the end, Daemon became strong, though he was never the same as he was
before."

"What happened?" Brian asked meekly.

"His soul was shattered, and even though his lover tried to piece it back
one by one, some chips were still missing, making him coherent, but just
more fragile than before."

All this time, Nick was listening intently to their conversation.  His body
had stopped trembling.

"Did he ever become whole again?" Brian asked.

"Yes." Nick said that one word with sadness.  Brian and Moju looked at
Nick, surprised by his answer.

"His lover found the last missing pieces to his soul," Nick explained.  His
eyes were melancholic.  Both Brian and Moju felt the chill running down
their bodies.  Neither dared to speak.

"Tell us, then, what it is that is bothering you," Moju urged.

Nick gazed at Moju.  Then he turned and stared at Brian.  His body started
to shake again, but he was able to calm himself down.  "I feel like I'm not
human anymore."

Brian shook his head slowly, his eyes piercing Nick's.  "What do you mean?"
he asked.

"Like I don't have my own will, my own desires.  Like I'm just here
physically.  Like I don't belong here."  Nick struggled to make sense of
what he was saying.

"Then where do you think you belong?" Moju asked quietly.

Nick sighed.  "Nowhere."

Moju leaned in to hug Nick hard, but that only triggered the young boy to
shed more tears.  "I don't belong here!" Nick cried out.  "I'm so confused.
I don't know why I'm here.  What do you see in me anyways?  I'm full of
trouble.  Even my own family doesn't want me.  Why do you want me?"

Brian saw the desire in Moju's eyes.  Moju wanted desperately to kiss Nick,
but he held back because Brian's presence kept him restrained.  Quickly,
Brian sat behind Nick's body and hugged him from behind.  The three of them
sat there, each one lost in their own little world.  The two older men were
now each wanting to spend the time alone with Nick.  With the two of them
there, neither were able to get any closer to the younger blond boy.

So both men sat there, each embracing Nick.  Both stared at each other,
willing the other to leave, to give them a moment alone with their lover.
Suddenly, Brian's eyes pleaded to Moju to let him be with Nick.  Moju
resisted at first, but soon, his conscience forced him to loosen his grip
on Nick and slowly get off the bed.  He nodded sadly at Brian and Nick
before leaving the room.

When he heard the door click, Brian gently pulled Nick back so that Nick's
body leaned against his.  "We don't want you, Nick.  We need you," Brian
whispered into Nick's ears.  "You're a part of me.  I don't know what I'd
do without you there to support me."  With that, he kissed Nick's neck.  "I
love you too much."

Nick closed his eyes and relaxed in Brian's arms.  "Even when you know that
I'm a prostitute?"

"You're not.  You're a victim.  Randy used you.  Justin used you.  You were
raped.  You're not a prostitute!"  By now, Brian had raised his voice,
although it was unintentional.

"On that island, I . . . they . . . I felt myself being . . . they rode
me."  Nick didn't know how to explain any clearer.  "When I woke up, I was
naked, but I felt it.  I felt really sore, like they were putting a lot of
pressure on me."  Nick's eyes watered some more before he buried his head
into Brian's chest.  "Why do they want to do that to me?  Am I really that
easy to have sex with?"

Brian wanted to murder Jeff and Justin by now.  How could they harm someone
so insecure, so fragile as Nick?  Tomorrow, he made a note to deal with
those two.  But tonight . . . tonight was reserved for Nick.

Brian remained silent.  He didn't know what to say anymore.  There was
really nothing else to say.  He had now known everything that influenced
Nick's thoughts.  The only thing left for him to do was to get Justin, Jeff
and Randy behind bars.  Nick had suffered too much, and if he didn't put an
end to it, then the tragedies would recycle themselves and Nick would never
be free.

Brian pulled Nick down onto the bed and the two of them lay side by side.
Soon after, Nick fell asleep beside Brian.  Brian didn't dare touch him.
All he could do was be by his side so that when Nick awoke, Brian would be
there to hold him.

*****************

Lance stared in shock at Justin's story.  They were in his home at the
moment and a distraught Justin was speaking to him in incoherent phrases.
Jeff, Justin's bodyguard had somehow disappeared.

"So exactly what the hell were you thinking kidnapping Nick like that?"
Lance shouted, distraught.  He couldn't believe how naive Justin was.  And
selfish too.

Justin sighed.  "I couldn't help it.  I was losing him to Brian.  I . . . "

"You wanted to f--- him all by yourself.  Is that it?" Lance cried out
angrily.

Justin cried, his tears honest and burdened with guilt.  "All I wanted was
for him to love me.  I can't help it Lance.  My feelings for him have been
too deep.  I tried to talk myself out of it, but I can't.  I don't know
what to do anymore."

Lance looked at Justin, wanting to feel pity for the younger boy, but
knowing that his own love for Nick prevented him to feel anything more than
hurt.  "So did you rape him on that island?"

Justin shook his head.  "I don't remember.  Jeff was gonna give him some
drug to stimulate him and then he gave me this glass of wine too.  Next
thing I knew, I was really hot.  And then I felt myself become really
excited.  After that, all I wanted to do was have sex with Nick."

"Did you?" Lance asked.

"Yeah.  I think I did."

"How do you know that you weren't actually doing it with Jeff?" Lance
pointed out.

Justin became quiet all of a sudden.

"I see the lust in his eyes.  He lusts for you," Lance added.

By now, Justin simply stared at the walls, thinking.

The two jumped two feet in the air when they heard a knock on the door.

Lance warily got up to answer it.  To his shock, Jeff was standing across
from him.  "Yes?" Lance greeted coldly.

"Is Justin here?" Jeff asked.  His eyes looked worried.  Before Lance could
answer, Jeff barged into the house and approached Justin.

"Have the police bugged you about anything?" Jeff asked, his voice lacking
any tone.

Justin slowly looked up at Jeff, the hatred welling.  "Did you try
something on me when we were on that island?"

Jeff's eyes narrowed into slits.  "No.  Nothing happened between us.
What's with this paranoia crap anyways?"

"You gave me a glass of wine with drugs in it!" Justin spat.

"Yeah, and we gave one to Nick as well.  What's your point.  I thought
you'd need a little stimulation so that your intense erotic session with
Nick would go more smoothly."  Jeff's voice was full of tension.

Justin wanted to punch Jeff in the face.  "I never touched Nick, right?"
Justin suddenly started to piece together some things.

Jeff merely glared at Justin.  "Damn it!  I never had intercourse with you,
if that's what you're getting at!"

Justin backed off a little.  Jeff said that last statement with resolve.
"Why wouldn't you?"

"Because I love you too much!!"  Jeff screamed out.  "Is that a crime?  Why
else did you think I would go through all that kidnapping crap?  For the
fun of it?"

"So you're telling me that everything you did until now is for me?" Justin
spat again.

Jeff had a look of exasperation on his face.  "YES!"

Justin was about to stop his line of questioning when something suddenly
occurred to him.  His face instantly paled.  "When you left to go find Nick
that morning . . . I looked on that mattress that Nick lay on . . . There
was semen on it."

Lance's eyes widened at Justin's words.

Jeff's face no longer looked accusing.  He stared at Justin, like a child
being caught red-handed.

The change in Jeff's face confirmed Justin's fears.  "You raped him."  It
wasn't even a question.

Jeff suddenly laughed insanely, throwing his hands up in the air.  "I
couldn't rape him if he wasn't stiff himself, could I?  I'm sorry to tell
you this, but Justin, Nick was one hell of a f--- toy.  He was the best sex
I've had in years."

Justin lunged at the older man, but the man was too strong for him and
soon, Jeff grabbed Justin and pushed him away.  "You were too exhausted
then after you came all over the place.  And there I was, still
unsatisfied.  So I needed an outlet.  And since your Nicky was just
starting to be aroused from the drug, I thought I'd do him a favor and
settle his throbbing organ!"  Jeff smirked.

Lance was furious by now.  Before Jeff knew what was happening, he threw
himself at the bodyguard, giving blows right and left.  Jeff never knew
what hit him.  Lance simply punched until he was exhausted, leaving an
unconscious Jeff lying on the floor.

Then he collapsed onto the floor from exhaustion.  Justin had stopped
crying by now and crawled to the phone.  All he could think of was to call
the police.  And soon, the police arrived.

Lance and Justin told them the truth.  There was no holding back.  If Nick
didn't already know that Jeff had raped him that night on the island, then
after this night, he definitely would.  Yet, Justin felt at peace with
himself for bringing the story to light.

And Lance?  He felt more settled knowing that he had done something to make
up for all the pain he caused Nick.  Perhaps he could now cleanse himself
of his guilt and once again prove to Nick that his love was not as dark as
the boy thought.  And perhaps, he still had an inkling of a chance left to
court the blond boy.

**********************

All right, another chapter done.  Comments?  Critique?  Opinions?
Suggestions?  ngclle@yahoo.com

Please don't anybody be mad.  This is just a story.  I'm not trying to put
anyone down!

**********

Credits:  The character Daemon is taken from The Black
Jewels trilogy by Anne Bishop.

**********