Date: Mon, 29 Jan 2001 19:49:04 -0000
From: Chained Soul <soul_of_the_night@hotmail.com>
Subject: 'Can't Run Away' -Chapter One

Genre- Gay/ Boybands
Author- "Chained Soul"
January 29, 2001

(Chapter One of 'Can't Run Away' attached)

Gotta go. Thanx for reading. ~resumes singing along to NSYNC's 'Bye Bye Bye'
hehe~

Disclaimer: This story is not true. I do not know the
guys from *NSYNC. This did NOT happen. Got that? And this
story can be a little dark. I am warning you. If you like happy
endings and no tears, then this story isn't for you. Under 18
years old? Don't read this. If you do, don't blame me for any
trouble u run into. Homophobic? LEAVE. This isn't for you.
What are u even doing at Nifty???
	This is my first attempt at a story for Nifty. Uh...hope you
like it.  Let me know.    Soul_of_the_night@hotmail.com
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"JC, you ok man?" Chris asked his younger friend as they sat waiting
to board an airplane. The five singers of *NSYNC were heading to New
York to do a few interviews for MTV. Joey was asleep, Justin was curled up
in a chair reading, and Lance was sitting listening to his discman, dead to
the
world and lost in smooth music. JC and Chris had been close friends for as
long as either cared to remember. Yet JC rarely spoke about it when
something was bothering him. And something was seriously bothering him.
Chris didn't know about all the times that JC had silently cried himself to
sleep. And JC didn't want him to know. JC sighed, "I'm fine."
"No. You're lying to me. Why won't you be honest with me? Josh, we
used to tell each other everything. You've changed." Chris whispered the
last two words as he felt tears come to his eyes. His best friend had
basically
shut him out and turned away. This rejection was the one thing Chris never
expected JC to exhibit. It just didn't seem like it was in his nature for JC
to
be so cold.
JC looked at Chris and, seeing the unshed tears in his once best
friends eyes, felt even more shame well up in his heart. That was the last
straw. He'd made his best friend/ practically brother want to cry. Chris
hardly ever cried. JC would guess him to be the strongest in the group. All
the pain that JC had been carrying around started to come out. Seeing the
hurt look on Chris's face broke him inside. He started to cry. Chris didn't
hesitate and pulled JC into a strong hug while the younger man started
sobbing quietly. Chris had seen JC cry like this only once. And that once
had
been when Lance and he had a huge argument. Lance had noticed that JC
was very protective of him, as he was with all his band mates, but Lance
didn't like the feeling of being watched over every moment. He felt like a
baby when JC tried to protect him. And he told JC just that. "I don't need
you." He had said. JC played tough in front of Lance but as soon as it was
just Chris in the room with him, he broke down. Now JC was crying as he
had that day. Only this time, Chris didn't know what had caused the tears to
start.
"Shh. It's gonna be ok. Whatever it is, man, it'll be ok. Just talk to me.
Tell me what's going on. I can't help you if you keep locking me out of your
life."
"I can't... I can't tell you. You'd hate...hate me.I know you
would." JC stammered due to lack of air. He couldn't control it anymore
and started sobbing louder then before.
Justin looked up and quickly stood, noticing the tears on his friend's
face. "What's wrong?" he asked both JC and Chris. JC started to sob harder
and Chris just shrugged. JC's painful sobs soon woke Joey, who rushed
over. Joey had known for a long time that he was in love with JC but he kept
quiet about it. He didn't want anyone to know. He couldn't bear to have his
heart broken again.
He looked at Chris, who moved slowly away from JC. Joey put his
arms around JC, who was by this time shaking. Joey looked over at Chris
and the older man nodded with understanding. He saw what Joey was trying
to hide. Joey had tears in his own eyes. This alone confirmed Chris's
suspicions. Joey loved JC. As much more than a friend.
"It's all right, Josh. I'm here. I won't let you go. Just calm down.
Ok?" Joey requested as he gently rocked his one true love.
JC's sobs soon slowed and then stopped. His breathing became
regular and relaxed. He was asleep.
It was then that the four conscious men of *NSYNC were directed to begin
boarding the airplane. Joey handed Chris JC's bag and then picked up his
sleeping form.
Chris smiled in acknowledgement of the love Joey felt for the man he
was currently carrying onto the airplane. Joey had a good heart. Chris had
known that from the beginning. Joey seemed incapable of hating. It just
wasn't in his soul. But being as trusting as Joey was with most people could
lead a heart to breaking. Joey had learned. He hoped JC would never have to
learn.
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	JC stirred in his seat as the airplane began it's decent. `How'd I get
here?' he asked himself. He then looked to his left to find Joey smiling at
him.

"Morning, Sunshine."

"Oh very funny. What happened?"

"You cried yourself to sleep. This time though, you weren't alone. I held
you until you fell asleep. You doing ok now?"

Jc blushed. "Yeah. I'm fine."

"Hey now. None of that. Don't get all embarrassed. Now are you gonna tell
me what's wrong? Or are you just gonna stay silent like you have been for
like a month?" Joey asked sincerely.

"I...Joe, I really don't want to go into it. Like I told Chris, I..." JC
sighed.

"Just let it out. I can see that it's tearing you apart inside. You're
getting
to be so tense. This is gonna kill you if you keep it up and you know it.
Now
please, talk to me. I love you, man, I don't want to watch you die."
Tears welled up in JC's eyes. "You say you love me but that's the
main problem. You wouldn't love me once you knew the truth. You'd turn
me away. You'd hate me. I can't take that right now. I can barely handle
going onstage anymore. There is just no fun in it anymore. The fans love us
but still I am forced to hide the truth. I can't take all this." JC
whispered the
final five words before slumping in his seat and letting the tears flow
freely
from his eyes. He didn't even seem to notice them. His eyes stared forward,
unfocused and unmoving. His breathing was so shallow, one would imagine
him to be asleep. This scared Joey beyond belief. JC was never one to get
depressed. He never let things get to him. Until now. Joey sighed heavily
and pulled JC into his embrace. JC seemed oblivious of Joey's actions.

"Chris." Joey spoke, hoping Chris would hear him.

Seconds later, he turned toward Joey from where he'd been sitting across the
aisle.

"Yeah?"

"I think we have a problem." Joey almost whispered.

Chris nodded slightly and when the plane came to a complete stop, he stood
and helped Joey carry JC into the baggage claim area where they were to
meet with their bodyguards. JC's head was down, looking toward the floor.
Tears still fell from his eyes. And when he was placed lightly into the
backseat of the limo, he promptly fell asleep.

"We gotta do something." Justin whispered.

"I know. He's going downhill fast." Lance agreed.

"He won't talk to any of us. How can we help him when we don't know
what's wrong?" Chris asked.

Joey remained silent as he stared at JC's sleeping form.

"You really do love him, don't you?" Lance asked quietly.

Joey's head turned quickly toward him. "What?!"

"Joe, man, it's ok. We've known for a while now. Calm down." Justin said
with a smile.

Chris just nodded.

"Yeah well, I don't know. I love him with all my heart but what good does it
do? He can't love me back. I know that now. How can you love someone
else when you have so much hate for yourself?" Joey asked just slightly
above a whisper.

Chris shook his head. "I wish there was something we could do."

"I have an idea. I'll room with him when we get to the hotel and see if I
can
make him talk. OK?" Joey proposed.
The others agreed. Joey slumped in his seat, remaining silent for the
remainder of the trip as he thought of what could make JC feel so low.
Something had to be done. He was falling and, from what Joey could see, JC
thought he had no one there to catch him.
	The limo came to a stop in front of a large building. Justin was the
first out followed by Lance, Chris, and then Joey, who once again held JC in
his arms. Lance went up to the front desk of the hotel to get the room
arrangements while Chris, Joey, and Justin stood in the lobby talking about
upcoming concerts and the break they had planned a month from now.
Once Lance handed out the keys to the rooms, everyone split up.
Chris went to his room, this time taking a room by himself instead of
rooming with Joey like he usually did. Lance and Justin went to the room
they were going to be sharing. Joey carried JC into their room and carefully
placed him on one of the beds.
Joey decided to let him sleep. They could talk when JC woke up. It
had been a long day. He needed his rest. But Joey knew that they would
have to talk about what JC was feeling. It was killing him, even if he said
he
would be fine, Joey knew that without help, he'd never make it through the
year. At this rate, he'd be dead before his next birthday. Joey was willing
to
do anything he could to prevent it.
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Ok. So what did you think? Too short, too long? Hehe. Not that way. Get
your mind outta the gutter. ~smiles~ Kidding. Well that was just part one.
Should I continue the story? Email me. Let me know.
	Soul_of_the_night@hotmail.com