Date: Fri, 07 Apr 2000 12:07:35 EDT
From: That's The Way I Like It <bsb_stories@hotmail.com>
Subject: gay/celebrity/boy-bands/changes/  Changes Chapter 36

Here's a new chapter - hopefully the next one will be out
next week.  :-)  Enjoy, and I'd like to say a special
thank you to the couple of people who keep "pestering" me
for new chapters - I really appreciate hearing from you!!!
-- May

Please don't read if you have a problem with gay sex.  The
usual disclaimer applies.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Kevin kept his head down as he walked in large strides through
the hospital corridor, but it was no use; he got stopped by the
elevators.  "Oh my God!"  A small woman started shrieking and
shaking her hands in front of her face, grand mal seizure style,
setting off a string of minor mishaps as people turned to see
what all the commotion was about.  "I'm not who you think,"
Kevin snapped irritably, and he smacked CLOSE DOOR with the
back of his hand before she could get into the car with him.
He focused on the old-fashioned protractor-style floor number
indicator and tried to hide himself in the back corner.  The
element of surprise worked in his favour; nobody else gave
the superstar a second look.  He hoped that Nick really was
just in the hospital because he was dehydrated, but Kevin
figured the chances of this being the truth were slim, and he
regretted wishing that he didn't have to deal with Nick's
problems in order to be with Nick.  Kevin didn't feel all
that capable of dealing with his own problems, and he hoped
to patch things up quickly with Nick and convince him to
come back to Florida and make nice with Howie.  After all, if
he was responsible for putting the group back together, Kevin
might start to feel like he was back in control of his own
life.  Wouldn't he?

Nick looked tired and sick, and he didn't say much as they
made their way out a service exit into the parking garage.
"I got a place on the beach," Kevin said as they got into
his rental car.  "It's very secluded."  Nick didn't respond,
just shifting uncomfortably in his seat.  "You wanted me to
come out here, didn't you?" Kevin asked, turning to face him
and letting the seatbelt slide out of his hand and zip back
into its casing.  "Yeah," Nick responded dully, fidgeting.
Kevin sighed, feeling his eyes brim with tears.  He hated that
he couldn't control his emotions.  He reached over to Nick
and began to stroke the blonde's silky hair back.  "I'm sorry,
Nick."  "About what?" Nick mumbled, keeping his eyes lowered.
All of Kevin's plans about how he was going to act and how he
was going to feel seemed to slip away and out of his control.
"About how I acted in Florida."  "What do you mean?"  Nick
raised his head and they stared at each other.  Kevin searched
his lover's face for some sign of understanding, but if Nick
was in there somewhere, he couldn't find him.  "I mean, we
were starting to really break through to each other in Spain,
and then when we came back to the U.S. and we had to deal with
all the legal stuff with Howie, I just froze up, and I couldn't
do it..."  Kevin saw an expression on Nick's face which looked
like a sneer.  "Nick... That note you wrote me in Florida was
pretty harsh, when you told me to leave."  "I meant what I
said," Nick said quietly.  "That you want me to go away?"  "No,
I didn't say that.  I said, I don't need you for your dick."
"So you think that's all our relationship is about?"  Nick
just shrugged.  "And so now you want me here for sex?  Is
that it?  Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you!"  Kevin
grabbed Nick's arm to turn him around, but the flash of rage
shifted immediately into regret when he saw the pained look
on Nick's face.  "Oh God, Nicky, I'm sorry."  Kevin leaned
forward and wrapped his arms around him.  Nick was shaking.
"Look, I know our relationship started off all wrong," Kevin
said, stroking Nick's back, "but maybe we can start over again."
"If you hadn't called me," Nick mumbled tearfully into Kevin's
chest, "I don't know what I woulda done..."

Misha was in the middle of chopping up vegetables when the phone
rang.  "I got it!" he heard Brian's sing-song voice intone from
another room, and Misha smiled to himself, wiping his hands on
the dishtowel he was holding.  It was cute how Brian assumed that
he would feel completely comfortable answering the phone as though
he lived there.  I'm just visiting, Misha told himself, digging
around in the cabinets for some more small bowls to organise his
stir fry raw materials.  It was one thing to pretend to be living
together, and another entirely to have to deal with the
obligations of actually doing so.  They'd spent the whole day
playing house.  First Brian had cooked a nice breakfast.  They'd
done some gardening and then took a dip in the pool.  Then they
went shopping, since Brian wanted to get blinds for the window
in the kitchen, and Scratch thought he needed a dog house.
Somehow they'd spent a good two hours wandering up and down a
home depot looking at siding and planters and sprinkler systems
and god knows what else.  Ah, domesticity, Misha said to himself,
placing a dollop of oil in the bottom of Brian's virgin wok.
If my parents could see me now.  He let out a little sigh and
put it out of his mind.  Not everybody can have a family in
their lives.  So what if it makes me feel like I've hatched
out of a pod...

"So you're going to stay in France for a while?" Brian said,
a little surprised to hear that Leighanne had made such a close
friend while on set.  "Yes, I'm going to stay here with Marie-
Claude for the time being and do that TV gig."  "Marie-Claude,
did I meet her?"  "Yes... She was teasing you for your Kentucky
French."  Brian's cheeks burned a bit remembering what an ass
he felt like in Nice.  "That's right, the girl with the red
hair.  Is she from Lyon?"  "No, no, don't you remember?  She's
from Quebec.  She was making fun of you so much because *she*
gets such a hard time for her accent."  Leighanne chuckled.  "Can
I ask you something, Leelee?"  "Of course you can.  But make it
snappy.  This is a long distance call, remember?"  Brian laughed
softly and then took a little breath before he spoke, toying with
the phone cord nervously.  "You and Marie-Claude... you're not
just friends, are ya?"  "I don't know yet, Brian, to be honest
with you.  It's hard to tell sometimes with women."  "Leigh, you
know I *really* don't want to ask you this, but-"  Leighanne let
out a little laugh.  "Yes B, we're sleeping together.  But I don't
think she considers herself to be gay."  Brian sighed.  "I know
you're a smart woman, Leigh.  I just want you to be happy.
Don't sell yourself short."  "I won't.  You don't have to worry
about me.  But thanks."  "Any time.  My God, after all those times
I went crying to you over Nick!"  Leighanne laughed and Brian knew
somehow that she was flipping her long blonde hair over and
around her back.  "Well, I hope things quiet down for you and Misha
and you won't need any other fiancees to haul around."  "I hope
so too..." Brian sighed.  "I don't think he's going to put up
with any more of that craziness.  Right now nothing's going on
since we're not even technically a group, and we have no
management..."  "Hold on to him, Brian.  He's good for you.  God
knows you need somebody like that in your life."  "I know, Leigh...
I know."

"Your mother is such a hoot," Dani chirped at A.J., who smiled at
her, his eyes twinkling over the purple sunglasses he wore.  The
two of them sat out on lawn chairs, accompanied somewhat
uncomfortably by Howie, Maria, and Maria's sister Veronica.  "Ain't
she, though?"  "Your mama is a sweetie," Veronica said in her
syrupy way, shifting her long, suntanned limbs around temptingly.
She said something to Maria in Spanish which made her laugh out
loud, and Dani shrugged at A.J.  "I told you," he said, "I can
order food and cuss somebody out, but that's about it."  Dani
felt like changing the subject, since the Luz sisters were doing
their utmost to ignore her, and so she inched her chair closer
to A.J.'s and turned to face him.  "Alex, do you think Kevin's
going to bring him back?" she asked quietly.  "Nicky...  Hmm,
that's a good question."  A.J. glanced over at Howie, who looked
faintly irritated.  "I don't know, Dani," A.J. said, trying to
play his mental constructs of the two of them off one another.
One was young, sullen, and incommunicative.  The other was older,
angry, maybe a little guilty...  "I don't think they're good for
each other, to be honest with you.  I don't see it helping us as
a group, as a family."  "Families don't sleep together," Howie
said pointedly.  Dani turned a little to include him, hoping
that he wasn't pissed off at her.  "I'm not sure if you can
define yourselves as a normal family," she said lightly.  "As
for Nick and Kevin, I think they might be better off together
than apart."  Howie was about to reply when Denise reappeared,
carting a serving tray full of glasses of lemonade.  "You were
supposed to come and help me," Denise chided her son gently,
"'I have everything under control' is your cue!"  "Sorry ma,"
A.J. grinned.  "Do you still love me?"  "I suppose I must..."

Nick woke up with a start, tangled up in the bedsheets in a dark
room he didn't recognise.  "Shit," he said aloud, holding his
head in his hands while his breathing slowed gradually.  The
smell in the air which pervaded his dream was slipping quickly
away into some subterranean realm of his consciousness, sealed
off from the present.  Nick tried to grasp at the images of his
dream but they evaporated, melding into and then replaced by the
images of his last night in Florida.  He was just remembering
where he was when Kevin appeared, cradling some small creature
in his arms.  "Feeling better?" Kevin asked.  "Look who I found."
He sat on the edge of the bed and let a tiny kitten out of
his hands.  Nick's face softened immediately and he broke into
a toothy smile.  "Where did you get her, she's beautiful,"
Nick said softly, inching his fingers over to the curious
animal.  "Side of the road, in a box," Kevin said, watching
them interact.  "Just look at her.  I couldn't just leave her
there."  Nick laughed as the kitten rolled onto its back,
swatting at his fingers.  "Are you sure it's a her?"  "Well,
I didn't check," Kevin frowned.  "Let's call her Frankie."
Kevin laughed.  "Umm, whatever you say, Nick."  The phone rang
and Nick visibly stiffened.  "You expecting a call?"  "Yeah,
from the hospital... some test results."

Kevin left the room to give Nick some privacy, carting Frankie
off to put her flea collar on and acquaint her with the litter
box.  Kevin had found the kitten and immediately gone on a
prolongued expedition to secure all the necessary shots, supplies,
food and accessories one needed for a well-cared-for cat.  This
little side project provided an excuse to take a mental break from
his on-going moral probe.  Kevin felt obligated to bring Nick back
to the Backstreet Boys, as though somehow that would atone for
his sin of getting involved with him sexually.  But Kevin knew
that he was not going to get out of this relationship, as
uncertain and flimsy as it was, with any kind of ease.  Moreover,
he didn't want out of it.  Once Frankie was situated, Kevin
walked back and knocked on the bedroom door.  "Nick, are you
okay?"  "All clear," he heard, "come in."  "All clear as in all
clear?" Kevin asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.  Nick was
bundled up in a ball, with the comforter pulled up to his chin
like a little boy.  "What do you think I mean?" Nick asked
irritably.  "Well, you could mean, all clear, I'm not going
to die, or you could mean, all clear, I've got my pants on."
Nick raised an eyebrow at Kevin's attempt at humour, but he
slid down a little in the bed.  "I could take my pants off
if you want," he said, sticking his tongue out.  "There's the
Nick we all know and love," Kevin said dryly, grabbing the
blonde's knee and squeezing it, then stroking his hand along
Nick's thigh.  He watched Nick's facial expression turn sad
and he crawled up beside him.

"AIDS test, I'm guessing," Kevin said softly, letting Nick
snuggle into his body.  "Yeah," Nick sighed, "but I'm fine."
"It's never fun waiting for the results," Kevin said, "even
if you know you haven't done anything.  It always makes you
think."  Nick nodded, and then tasted a salty tear which had
slid down his cheek and into his parted lips.  Before he
could move away, another big drop fell onto Kevin's chest,
and then those crystalline green eyes were staring into his.
"Did you get real messed up again?" Kevin asked.  "Is that
why you went to the hospital?"  "No... I mean, yeah, but
not like last time."  Nick's attempts to burrow into Kevin
were halted when he felt a sudden tickling sensation on his
legs.  He was about to kick them when he remembered Frankie.
"I see somebody wants to join us," Kevin said, and Nick
gazed at him, seeing the warmth and humour which lit up
his lover's face.  Was that the way Kevin used to be, or was
that who he really was inside that cold, heartless exterior?
The kitten clambered awkwardly up to Nick and Kevin's faces
before settling into a content little ball between them.
"She's gonna piss in the bed," Nick said with a mischevious
grin.  "So, we'll get another bed," Kevin said.  "I guess
you can't punish a tiny little kitty cat when she fucks up."
"It's not really my place to do that, now is it, Nick?"
"I guess not."  Nick reached over and kissed Kevin softly
on the lips.  "Thanks."  Kevin nodded, not exactly sure what
Nick was thanking him for.  "Thanks for understanding,"
Nick elaborated.  "And for rescuing us."  He smirked at
Kevin and laid a tender kiss on top of the kitten's head.