Date: Mon, 11 Mar 2002 16:43:25 -0800
From: Chris Engelke <oberon37@attbi.com>
Subject: Coming Out Of The Dark, Chapter 8

"COMING OUT OF THE DARK"
By Chris Engelke (engelke2002@attbi.com)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Oh my God! I'm back again!  I was converting some of my
favorite stories to E-Book format for my Pocket PC when I read through my
story again.  I liked my story and decided to continue it.  I hope you all
are glad of that also!  Please send feedback to engelke2002@attbi.com.

DISCLAIMER: This story is totally 100% fiction.  Nothing happened the way
that this story states.  As far as we know officially, no members of *N
Sync, Backstreet Boys, or any other celeb that I have mentioned or will
mentioned is either gay, bi, lesbian, or transgender.


CHAPTER 8

Hours had passed since Tom ran after AJ.  The guys of BSB and *N Sync were
very worried about their friends.

Everyone was very worried.  Lance was wearing a path in the carpet.  He was
driving the guys of *N Sync even crazier.

"Scoop, will you stop pacing?" Chris frantically said.  When Lance looked
at Chris with a death stare, Chris tried another route.  "Lance, Tom will
be OK."

Lance growled at Chris, then said, "Like I give a flying FUCK what you say
anyway?  You just want him OK so you can fuck him!"

"Look, you fucking idiot!" Chris yelled. "I have no attraction whatsoever
to Tom!  It was his idea to get you back at your possibly ruining his
friendship with me."

"He would never be so cruel to me! He loves me!"  Lance yelled.

Kevin stepped between the arguing friends.  "Guys, I hate to get in the
middle of a group fight..."

Both Chris and Lance shouted, "Then don't!" to Kevin.

"Lance, I have to get involved in this.  I was there with Chris.  Alex was,
too.  It was his idea.  He was so hurt that he could lose his friendship
with Chris that he wasn't thinking right.  He just wanted revenge."

"You mean he's in love with Chris, too, and not me?" Lance cried.

"No, Lance.  Yes, he loves Chris very much, but only as a brother.  He's in
love with you."

"He has a fucking funny way of showing it!  He kissed Chris pretty
passionately!"

"He regrets doing that, Lance! You know that!" JC said.

Lance sighed heavily.  "You're right, Josh.  I'm just so scared! Where is
he?"

The room is totally quiet after that.  All of a sudden, Kevin's cell phone
rings, startling everyone.  He answers his phone.  "Hello?"

"Kev, it's Mike again."  Mike was someone who worked for their management
team.

"I hope you are not calling me again to yell at me some more! I'm not in
the fucking mood!"

"No, Kev.  We just received a call from AJ's mother."

"What? What's going on?" Kevin asked, fearful of the answer.

"AJ's in the hospital."  The voice on the other end of the phone said.  "He
was found with a friend.  Both were unconscious.  There were a couple of
bullets on the ground next to them.

"Were they shot?" Kev asked.

"No...Not that I know of.  Both are still in surgery right now."

"Who's the friend they found with him?"

"The name didn't ring a bell for me. I had never met him before."

Kevin took a deep breath and asked the question he knew he had to, but
dreaded intensely.  "Is his name Tom Morrison?"

"Yes."  The other man was stunned.  "How did you know?"

A single tear fell down Kevin's face, soon joined by more and more.
Eventually, he was crying like he hadn't in a very long time.  He dropped
his phone.

The rest of the people in the room were stunned by Kevin's change of mood.

 Brian rushed to his cousin and hugged him hard. "Cuz, what's wrong? Who's
on the phone?"

"It's...management..." Kevin replied, gasping for breath between each word.
"Alex is in the hospital."

"What?" Nick yelled.  "What happened?"

Kevin took a deep breath then explained what happened.  "They found AJ and
Tom unconscious somewhere in a bad part of town.  He didn't tell me exactly
what happened, though."

"How's Tom?" Lance frantically asked.

"I don't know, Lance.  I'm sorry.  That's all I was told.  They're at
Miracle Hospital."

"MIRACLE HOSPITAL?" Lance shrieked. "What the fuck kind of name is that?
Does that mean it will be a miracle if Tom survives?  Am I going to lose
him before I get him?"

"They are going to be OK, Lance.  I know it."  Chris said, trying to
comfort Lance.

Lance didn't care for Chris' compassion.  "Like I give a flying fuck what
you think or say!"

JC knew that this was not the time for his two friends to be fighting.
"Shut up, guys!  I really don't care what your problems are with each
other!  We have to get to the hospital to find out how they are!"

Kevin's mind went to another place.  He remembered what it was like growing
up and how anyone who was suspected to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual was
ridiculed.  Many people transferred schools because of being beaten
severely.

His parents raised him to love your fellow man.  They weren't exactly
supporting anyone who had an attraction towards the same sex, but they
never felt that they should be beaten or killed just because they were
created that way.  "God creates everyone, Kevin." his father would say.
"Do you think He makes mistakes?"  He then asked.  Kevin eagerly shook his
head.  "Of course not.  God made everyone and He has a reason why he made
some people gay.  Think about that.  I hope I never hear that you are part
of some gay beatings."

The battle in his heart and his mind about homosexuality has played a large
part of his life from when he was a child to the present date.

When he first met AJ, he felt a little bit of an attraction towards his
band mate.  However, he fought the feelings because of what he witnessed
when he was a child.  Every so often, AJ would do something that would make
Kevin's feelings reawaken, only to be forced down deep in his heart not too
long after.

Those feelings got stronger and stronger each time they came up again.
Finally a few months ago, the feelings were too intense to ignore anymore.
He had to admit to himself something that he had hid for almost nine years
- he was in love with one of his best friends.

Two things had stopped him from admitting his feelings towards his best
friends, especially AJ.  First of all, he was a married man.  He knew he
loved Kristin, but was never in love with her.  One thing he was raised
hearing he couldn't believe.  Back when he was about 15 year old, he had a
crush on his cousin Brian.  One day, his parents realized that he was
spending as much time as he could with Brian and not dating some nice
church-going girl.  When confronted about that, he told them that he didn't
have any girlfriends and wasn't interested in dating a girl then because he
and Brian "are going to get married when we grow up."

"Kev, are you OK?"  Chris said, breaking Kevin out of his fog.

Kevin jumped.  "Chris! Don't do that!"

"I'm sorry, Kev.  You seemed to be out of it for quite a long time.  Are
you OK?"

"Yeah.  Thanks, Chris.  I was just thinking."

"About what? If it's none of my business, then let me know."

Kevin thought for a minute.  "It's not that it's none of your business.  I
just am having problems believing it myself.  I never thought that it would
happen to me.  I have to reconcile it with myself first, then I will let
you guys know."

Chris replied, "None of us accepted being gay and being in love with
another guy so quickly.  It's even harder when you find yourself in love
with one of your best friends.  Trust me, I know.  It took me quite awhile
to accept the fact that I was in love with Lance.  I had never loved
another guy before and who do I fall for?  One of my brothers, someone I
work with so closely and am with practically 24 hours a day."

"Look how that ended.  You guys broke up and aren't even talking to each
other that much.  Whenever you do talk to each other, you only argue."
Kevin cried.  "I can't love Alex!"

"Kevin, that was a different situation.  Lance was never in love with me.
He saw Tom and fell in love at first sight.  You have to make sure how he
feels about you before you even consider dating him.  I don't know how he
does feel about you, but I still think that the two of you would make a
very cute couple.  I even thought that you two were a couple at one time."

Kevin laughed.  "You know, Tom said just that when Alex and I first met
him.  He knew AJ was bi, even when I thought my gaydar was wrong about
him."  He suddenly paused, and thought more about the situation.  "So, what
do I do?"

"I would definitely wait until AJ recovers.  Then let him know how you
feel.  Maybe he feels the same way about you, maybe he doesn't.  He won't
think any less of you, though."

Kevin didn't want to think about his feelings any more now.  "Can we talk
about this later?  I need to find out how AJ and Tom are."

"Let's go!"  Chris replied.

Chris and Kevin went out the back exit of the hotel where a car was waiting
for them.  Everyone else had crowded into one care, leaving the other for
Chris and Kevin.  Twenty minutes later, the car was heading into the
entrance of the hospital.  Chris saw that there was already a tremendous
crowd of teenage girls there, camping out and waiting for any word on AJ.

"Fuck!  Can't they stay away at least one day??" Chris shouted.

"Let me call security to clear the crowd."  Kevin replied.  He picked up
his cell phone and called his security guy.  He found out that there was a
big crowd inside the hospital also and he was trying to disperse them.
"Thanks for letting me know about that.  I guess Chris and I will have to
face them without help."

"No, Kevin." his security guard said.  "Let me take care of this and I will
be there.  It shouldn't take that long."

"Scott, I can't wait for that.  I have to find out how they are."  Kevin
replied.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"OK.  Be careful."  Scott replied, and then hung up.

Kevin also hung up his phone.  "We're gonna have to deal with the crowd
ourselves.  Scott is dealing with a crowd inside and can't come out to help
us for awhile."

"What?" Chris whined.  "Where are our security people?"

"Didn't you hear me?  They have their hands full inside.  We'll be OK,
Chris."

Kevin and Chris ran from the car into the hospital, using the driver to
help them dodge the youthful crowd.  On more than one occasion, they were
stopped by several people.  When they finally reached the entrance, Chris
turned back towards the crowd.

"Ladies, the members of *N Sync and Backstreet Boys thank you for coming
here in order to support AJ and one of our best friends.  We will release a
statement to the press, including Gideon from MTV once we find out how our
friends are.  However, at this time, we would like for you to head on home
and wait for any further word there.  This is a hospital, not a mall or
some concert arena.  There are doctors and nurses trying to save the lives
of many people, including our friends.  Thank you again for your love and
support."

Chris turned back around and entered the hospital.  They rushed towards
emergency, where they saw the rest of their friends waiting on word on the
conditions of AJ and Tom.  Kevin went to Brian, while Chris went over to
JC.  Chris wanted to comfort Lance, but was still having a hard time with
what happened between them and Tom.  He knew he would be able to forgive
Lance one day, but that one day would not happen for quite some time.

"How are they, Josh?" Chris asked.

JC sighed.  "We don't know yet.  All we have found out is that they are
still in surgery.  We don't even know what exactly happened to them.  The
only two people that know are unconscious now."

"I'll be in the hospital chapel if you hear anything about Tom or AJ."
Chris said.

"You're not staying here?" JC asked. He couldn't believe that even with all
that has happened between Lance and him, he wouldn't be there for one of
his brothers when he needed his friends the most.

"Look, Josh.  I know what you are thinking. It's hard for me. I find out
that the guy I love, the only guy I have ever loved has never loved me. He
is in love with another of my friends. He could have told me he loved Tom."

"You know why Scoop never said anything." JC tried to reason.

"It doesn't matter that he didn't know how Tom felt about him. He still
should have told me. Hell, he should have told me a fucking long time ago
that he didn't love me."

"I know, but..." JC started to say, but was interrupted by Chris.

"I'll be back, C. I just need some time alone to think."

On that note, Chris walked away to try to get his mind back in synch, pun
not intended.  JC sighed heavily. Joey heard him and went up to him.

"Hey, Josh." he said.


"Hey, Joe. How you holding up?"

"Forget me. How's Chris? I'm really worried about him."

JC contemplated what to say for a little while. Truth be told, he was angry
at Chris. Could he keep control of his emotions? No. Not now, though he
could normally do so. "Who the fuck cares about that selfish asshole? He
can drop out of *N Sync then drop dead for all I care!!"

Justin heard JC's last sentence and went over to his lover to try to calm
him down. "Baby, what's wrong?"

JC couldn't stay pissed off whenever Justin was near him. Unfortunately,
his anger turned to tears. He hated the fact that he has cried more in the
last six months than he ever has in his life. "What the fuck is wrong with
Chris? He should be here, not just for Scoop, but for the rest of us! We're
supposed to be there for each other, not running away when things get
tough!"

"But the important thing is that he is here. He needs some time alone to
think things through." Joey said.

"Joe's right, honey. He'll be back. I know you're worried about Tom. He'll
be OK."

"What if he's not fine? What if he dies? I'll kill that fucking Dorough!"
JC cried.  "God, I am so fucking sick of crying all the time!"

Joey was confused as he didn't know that JC and Howie had an affair. "Josh,
what are you talking about? What does Howie have to do with this?"

"Is that what caused everything? I'll kill that fucker!" Justin yelled.

"Can someone please clue me in?" Joey said in frustration.

"Josh?" Justin asked.

"Joe, Howie and I dated before I realized I was in love with Jus."

Joey was stunned. Was he the only totally straight person in a boy band?
Should he try sleeping with a guy to see what he was missing?

The guys knew each other well, almost too well. JC knew what Joey was
thinking. "No, Joe."

"No what?" Joey asked. Did JC know what he was thinking?

"No, Joe. Don't try sleeping with a guy. Let half of the population be safe
from you."  JC laughed.

"Funny, Mr. Comedian!" Joey sneered at JC then hit him on the back of the
head. Joey, JC, and Justin started to laugh hard.

Lance stormed up to the three friends. "Sure! Laugh it up when the man I
love may very well be dead! Have a fucking party!"

"Lance, calm down. Don't have kittens!  We're worried about Tom, too! God!
Like we would be celebrating when one of our best friends is in the fucking
hospital! Shit!" Joey yelled. "Josh, I'm gonna go talk to Chris and see if
he's OK."  Joey stormed off in a huff.

Lance couldn't take anymore. It was the proverbial straw that broke the
camel's back. He fell to his knees and broke down in a heartbreaking
sob. "I can't lose him! I can't lose the man I love!"

"Oh, Lance!" JC said, then hugged him tightly to show him he was loved very
much and supported. He mouthed the words, "Could you please leave us
alone?" to Justin.

"Guys, I'll be right back.  I want to see if there's any new word on Tom or
AJ." Justin said.  However, neither JC nor Lance heard him.  He walked off,
worried about both Lance and Tom.  "God, I hope they'll be OK.  What would
happen if Tom dies?  Lance would never be the same.  Hell, none of us would
ever be the same again."  He slowly walked off, looking for a doctor.

TO BE CONTINUED

Am I killing off both my lead character and also my favorite Backstreet
Boy?  No.  I'm just getting going again.  Again, please e-mail me your
feelings about my starting this story again and any storylines you feel
would be good for me to add to my story.  My e-mail address is
engelke2002@attbi.com