Date: Wed, 8 Sep 1999 18:12:09 EDT
From: MATRIX3311@aol.com
Subject: Crash with fame 7

	Legal Formalities-Do not read this story if you are below the age
of 18 or offended by m/m relationships.  Also I have no idea about the
sexuality about any members of the Backstreet Boys and this is purely
fantasy, not meant to imply anything about their sexuality.
	  I know that it is long awaited and the time is finally here.  As
always if you have any questions or comments e-mail me at
matrix3311@aol.com, ICQ me at 33110864, or YAHOO PAGE me at matrix3311.  I
hope you like it sorry it took so long.  Now on for the story.

			     Crash with Fame-7
			      Written by Neo

	I am writing this chapter after a great loss in my life.  I know
that this is not up to my usual standards but I needed to releave some of
the stress that I have and I do that through typing. So please enjoy this
chapter.

	"Cheer up, you are going home now," my mother said to me.  I
ignored her and continued to look out the window.  Howie's house was almost
completely out of view when suddenly I saw Kevin's car pass us in the
opposite direction.  I sunk down in my seat trying to hide myself from
view.  I was just sitting up as I saw Kevin's car racing around the corner.
He was speeding but there were not that many people on the road.  I pushed
myself even lower in my seat which was hard to do with the cast on.  I made
sure that I was still able to see the car from the side view mirror.  They
started to try to pass us but my mother blocked them every time.  This came
of cat and mouse went on for another couple of minutes until Kevin found an
opening and started to go next to us.  I got as low in my seat as I could
when I felt the car sharply cut into their path sending them out of
control.  I saw Kevin lose control as his car headed for the side of the
road.  I sat up just as it started to go off.  They went into a ditch and
came out of it rolling onto their side.  Mother was starting to slow down
but started back up again when the doors opened.  I looked out the mirror
and saw Nick, Kevin, AJ, and Brian all standing there but no Howie when the
car burst into flames sending the guys running.
	"Noooooooo!" I screamed bolting up.  I did not know where I was or
what happened.  I felt extremely weird and disoriented.  I heard faint
sounds in the background but nothing else.  The room was dark except for a
crack of light from under the door.  I started to get out of bed when I
felt something keeping me down.  My waist was strapped to the bed.  I soon
realized that I was in a hospital room.  I lay back on the bed and tried to
focus my eyes in the dark.  I groped the wall behind me for a string to
turn the lights on and soon found it.  I pulled it and the room was
suddenly illuminated.  My eyes hurt from the bright change in lighting.  I
started to look around the room.  I saw that I was in a private suite that
had a small sitting area blocked off by a half wall.  I looked around for a
call button and found it on the table next to my bed.  I pushed it and
almost instantly two nurses and a doctor came barging into the room.  One
of the nurses headed into the sitting room while the other one followed the
doctor over to me.
	"Glad you finally decided to wake up," the doctor joked to me.  I
still had no idea what was going on so I just gave him a dumb look.  He was
about to say something when Howie came running our of the sitting area to
my side.  The doctor backed away when Howie came up next to me.  Howie
looked at him for a minute and the doctor soon left with the two nurses.
Immediately his lips locked with mine in a deep but one-sided kiss.  He
soon straightened back up and started to stroke my head.  No words were
said for the first couple of minutes while we stared at each other.
	"Baby?  Are you okay?" Howie asked.
	"What happened?" I asked in return.
	"When you fell out of the tree...do you remember that?" he asked.
	"Yeah, I think so, I am not sure if it is a dream or not," I said
sheepishly.
	"Well anyway, when you fell out of the tree you hit your head
pretty hard.  You have been out of it for almost two weeks now," Howie
answered.  He was smiling at me but I could tell that he was going to cry.
I soon saw a tear roll down his cheek.  I started to reach up to give him a
hug when he threw himself down on me.  He buried his head in my shoulder
and started to sob.  "I was so scared, I did not know what I would have
done if..." he continued.
	"Baby, calm down, I am okay," I said wrapping my arms around him.
He continued to sob on my shoulder while I rubbed his back.  He finally
stopped crying and straightened himself up.  He pulled a chair over next to
the bed and sat down next to me.  He grabbed my hand and laid back in the
chair.  He was soon sound asleep.  I could tell that he had not gotten a
lot of sleep.  I reached for the string on the light and pulled it.  The
room was engulfed in darkness and I was soon asleep.
	I awoke the next morning to the sun streaming into my room.  Howie
was still sound asleep in the chair next to me and his arm was laying on my
bed.  I reached down and grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze.  I then
reached for the call button for the nurse and pressed it.  Soon a lady in a
white gown came into the room carrying a tray.  She set the tray down on
the little sliding table and started to check my vital signs.  She was soon
done and pushed the food up to me.  I lifted the cover off of it and looked
down at a plate of eggs and toast with a small glass of milk.  I started to
eat the eggs but they tasted like all hospital food does, like rubber.  I
drank the glass of milk and pushed the tray away.  I then laid back in the
bed thinking about everything that had seemed so real.
	Everything was going so slow.  I tried to watch TV but nothing
seemed appealing.  I just wanted out of there and to go home, with Howie.
I was dozing in and out of sleep when the doctor came in.
	"Good morning," he said to me.  I mumbled a greeting.  "Feeling all
right today?"
	"I guess so," I said melancholy.  Howie was still sound asleep in
the chair.
	"Your friend over there has not slept in two weeks," the doctor
said motioning to Howie.
	"When can I get out of here?" I asked him bluntly.
	"Well, that all depends on how everything goes today, we are going
to have to perform a few tests and if they all come out okay you can go
home tomorrow," he said.  I laid back on my bed and stared up at the
ceiling.  The doctor took my vitals just as the nurse did and soon left the
room.  I went back to the TV and started to flip channels.  I stopped on E!
When the host mentioned something about a "Backstreet Boy scandal" then
went to a commercial break.  When the show came back on I listened
intently.
	"Wow, do we have a piece of gossip for you today," the blonde hair
announcer said rapidly.  "This man has been seen on a daily basis entering
and exiting the Dorough residents.  No one has been able to ask Mr. Dorough
or the unknown man about why he is always there.  We also know that for the
last two weeks Mr. Dorough has been staying over night at this downtown
hospital where the masked man is staying after an accident."  The reporter
continued.  My jaw had dropped to my knees.  I reached over and shook Howie
vigorously.
	"Baby, wake up, you have to see this," I said as Howie was waking
up.
	"What is it?" he asked alarmed.
	"On the TV," I said gesturing to the television.
	"Nobody has given any information as to why this stranger has been
seen with Mr. Dorough so much, but we also have photographs of the young
man staying at the same hotel and leaving at the same time as the
Backstreet Boys..." she continued.  Howie snatched the remote control out
of my hand and shut the TV off.  There was an uneasy silence in the room.
	"Don't worry about it baby," Howie said unenthusiastically.
	"What is going to happen?" I asked him.
	"Don't worry about it, no one ever pays attention to those things
anyway," he said forcing a smile.  I could tell the he was trying to
convince himself more than me so I just let it go.  He leaned down and gave
me a kiss.  He had just broke it as the doctor came into the room.  Howie
tried to look like he had not been doing anything but it just made him seem
guiltier.
	"Chris, we are going to take you for a CATSCAN now," the doctor
said to me.  "The test after it is going to require a sedative so we are
going to give it to you know and you will be asleep before the scan," he
finished.  I looked at Howie and he just smiled down at me.  I nodded in
agreement and the doctor took a needle from a tray he was carrying and
stuck it in my IV line.  It was a strong sedative and I soon felt it taking
effect.  I took one last look at Howie before I was out again.  I do not
remember anything else that happened until long after all my tests were
over.  I awoke just as it was getting dark.  I looked around the room and
saw five heads over the wall in the sitting area.  I could not make out any
forms and everything was till very blurry.  I could not sit up because the
room was spinning.  I flopped back on the bed and shut my eyes.  I waited
until the room stopped spinning and slowly opened my eyes.  I saw Howie
standing over me once again.  The guys were standing behind him.  I still
felt disoriented but the room was not spinning anymore.
	"Good morning," Howie said jokingly.  I just smiled up at him.  He
started to sit down in the chair next to me but I stopped him and slid over
on the bed.  I motioned for him to sit down.  Howie looked at Kevin
awkwardly and Kevin just nodded his head.  Howie laid down on the bed next
to me and put his arm around my back and started to stroke my side.  I
rested my head on his shoulder as Brian went over to the door.
	"Kevin was telling me that management is not worried about the new
report," Howie told me.  Nick was going to say something but was stopped by
Kevin giving him a sharp blow to the side.  I knew what that was about but
did not press the issue.
	"When can I get out of here?" I asked Howie.
	"I don't know, I have not seen the doctor since this morning," he
replied.
	"I'll go get him," Nick said stepping towards the door.  Howie
started to get out of the bed but I grabbed his shirt.  He looked down at
me and gave me an apologetic look.  I let him go and he sat down in the
chair next to me.  Kevin and Brian both pulled up a chair and sat down next
to me.  We sat there in silence for a minute.  Kevin was about to say
something when someone came barging in the room.  Everyone turned expecting
to see Nick, but instead we saw a man with a camera taking pictures.  There
was a smaller man behind him writing down something in a steno book.  Kevin
jumped up and started for the men.  They just pushed past him and over to
me in the bed.  They started to speak loudly and swiftly that it was making
the room start to spin again.  I slammed my eyes shut and did not open them
until they stopped talking.  I slowly opened my eyes to see two uniformed
security guards escorting them out of the room.  Kevin was pulling
something out of his hand and it was trailing down to the floor.  It looked
like a roll of film.  Nick soon came in the room followed by the doctor.
Nick had stepped to the side and the doctor kept coming towards me reading
my chart.  He was about to say something when Howie jumped out of his
chair.
	"How the hell did those reporters get in here?" Howie yelled at
him.
	"I don't know," the doctor said modestly.
	"Well this is a private room and Chris does not need to be hounded
by reporters.  If it happens again..." Howie lowered his voice and I could
not hear what was said.  The doctor pushed past Howie and to me.
	"When can I go home?" I asked
	"Well, all of your tests have come out okay, so you can go home
tomorrow if there will be someone to be there with you day and night for
about a week," the doctor told me.  I looked at Howie and he smiled at me.
	"It will be taken care of," I said harshly.  I knew that I was
still under the effect of the sedative and that it was still in my system
but I was fighting it off with all that I could.  The doctor soon left and
Howie laid back in the bed next to me.  I felt the room start to spin again
and shut my eyes.  That was the last thing that I remebered.
	I awoke the next morning to find Howie was sound asleep in the bed
with his arm wrapped around my back.  I tried to push him off of me so that
I could sit up but it would not work so I had to wake him up.  I wondered
how he got the doctor to let him stay there.
	"Hey," he said giving me a kiss.  I kissed him back and started to
sit up.  He pushed me back down and placed his hand firmly on my chest.
"Don't get up, just lay there," he continued.
	"Baby, I HAVE to get up," I told him, emphasizing on the have.  He
realized what I meant and let me get up.  I soon came out of the bathroom
and laid back down on the bed.  Howie had gotten up and was sitting in the
chair next to my bed.  Howie had his arm resting on the side of my bed and
his head resting on his hand.  He just kept staring at me.  "What?" I asked
him.
	"Nothing, it is just I am so glad that you are here, I was so
worried." He said, I could tell that he was holding back tears so I started
to stroke his head.  He finally broke down and started to sob.  I took him
in my arms as best as I could from the position that he was in and laid his
head on my shoulder.  He cried for what seemed like hours.  It made me
realize just how deep Howie's feelings for me are.  He had just stopped
crying when the doctor came in.
	"Well, I guess that this is check-out time...If you will just sign
these release forms you can be on your way," the doctor said cheerily.
This news immediately brightened Howie up.  He was smiling from ear to ear
as I was signing the papers on the clipboard.  The doctor rambled on for a
few more minutes then left.  Howie ran over to a small closet like thing
and pulled out an overnight bag.  He threw some clothes at me and told me
to get dressed.  I did as I was told and in a few minutes we were heading
out of the hospital.  Everything seemed weird and unfamiliar at first and
it was kind of creepy.  I was feeling exceptionally well and had no serious
injuries, so when Howie started to head home I stopped him.
	"What?" he asked.
	"Let's go spend time with the guys or something," I suggested.
	"Are you sure that you are up to it?" he asked me.
	"YES, I am fine," I said eagerly.  Howie shrugged his shoulders and
changed direction so that we were heading towards the guy's apartment
building.  It was a short trip from the hospital and we got there quickly.
We headed for the elevator and to the floor that the guys occupied.  The
elevator doors were just opening as Nick and Brian was heading into Kevin's
apartment.  We tried to stop them but could not get out of the elevator in
time.  We headed for Kevin's door and Howie just pushed it open.  We
stepped in and saw Nick, Brian, and Kevin busy in the kitchen cooking
breakfast.
	"What we were not invited?" I asked out loud.  They instantly
stopped what they were doing and ran into the living room.  I got a hug
from each one of the except for AJ.  We all sat down for a minute and made
brief small talk before I asked where AJ was.
	"I guess that he is still asleep, he went out clubbing last night
so he is probably still passed out," Brain said.
	"Yeah, but somebody should go wake him up," Kevin intervened.
	"I'll do it," I said just wanting to get up and move around.  Howie
threw me his keys.
	"AJ's is the one with the A carved in it," he said as I headed out
the door.  I went next door and inserted the key in the deadbolt lock and
turned it.  I then proceeded to push the door open.  I was met with total
darkness.  The blinds were all shut and not a single light was on in the
entire place.  I looked around for AJ but did not see him.  I headed over
to the window and opened the blinds.  Sunlight streamed into the room.  I
then walked down the short hallway and peeked in the master bedroom.  It
was just as dark in there so I opened the blinds.  I once again did not see
AJ.  I was heading out the door to check the other bedroom when I saw
something out of the corner of my eye.  There was light coming from under
the bathroom door.  I slowly crept over to the bathroom and knocked on the
door.
	"AJ?" I asked as I knocked.  I got no answer so I knocked harder.
"AJ?" this time I yelled it.  Still no answer.  I put my ear to the door to
listen for running water but there was none.  I grabbed the door handle and
started to turn it but it was locked.  I listened to the door again I did
not hear running water but I did hear something.  I am not sure what it was
but I knew that it was not good.  I was starting to get worried and I had
no idea what to do.  I went over to the phone and dialed Howie's cell
phone.  It was picked up on the first ring.
	"Hello?" Howie asked.
	"Howie?" I asked.
	"Yeah, who is this?" he answered.
	"Don't make a scene or say my name but this is Chris, find some way
to excuse yourself and get over to AJ's apartment.  I think that there is
something wrong with him," I told him with a hint of urgency in my voice.
	"Ok," he replied and hung up the phone.  I did the same and walked
to the front door and unlocked it.  I was just heading to the bedroom when
Howie burst in the door.  "Chris?" he said.
	"Howie, AJ is locked in the bathroom and there is something wrong.
He will not answer me and when I came in here this place looked like a
morgue.  There were no lights and the entire apartment was pitch black." I
explained.  Howie practically ran to the master bedroom.  I saw him put his
ear to the door and listen intently for a minute.  His eyebrows just kept
getting lower and lower.  He stepped back and looked at the door.  Without
word he ran past me and into the kitchen.  He returned with a butter knife
and began to pull the pins out of the hinges.  It seemed as if they had
done this before.  Once all the hinges were out he grabbed the door handle
and yanked the door out of the frame.  I heard a slight splintering of wood
then hear a tremendous crash as Howie let go of the door.  We both ran into
the bathroom to see AJ curled up in the fetal position rocking back and
forth crying.  His face was all red and puffy and he just kept rocking back
and forth.
	"AJ!" Howie yelled.  He just kept rocking back and forth and
staring straight ahead with tears running down his face.  Howie sank down
next to him and put his arm around his back.  He slowly started to rub his
back.  AJ finally seemed to notice that we were there.  "AJ, what is
wrong?" Howie asked quietly.
	"He...last night...dead..." AJ stuttered out.  Howie and I both
looked at each other.
	"AJ, calm down, what is wrong?" Howie asked.
	"Last night...driving...dead..." AJ answered.
	"AJ..." Howie started.
	"Don't bother, we have to get him calmed down before we ask him," I
told Howie.  He nodded at me and I sat down on the other side of AJ.  I did
the same as Howie and soon AJ's crying was slowing down a little.  I stood
up and headed for the door.
	"Where are you going?" Howie asked.
	"To get the guys, they are probably wondering where the hell we are
at," I told him.  I headed over to Kevin's apartment and walked right in.
The guys were sitting in the living room drinking a cup of coffee.
	"There you are, we were about to send a search party for you,"
Brian joked.
	"Guys, there is something wrong with AJ."  I told them.  They
practically dropped their coffee and ran out the door and into AJ's
apartment.  I followed after them and we were all standing in the doorway
to AJ's bathroom.  The guys turned to me.
	"What happened?" Kevin asked me.
	"I don't know, when I got here everything was dark and AJ was
locked in the bathroom.  I called Howie and told him to get over here and
he tore down the door and we found AJ in here like this," I told them.
Kevin headed into the bathroom and sat down next to AJ where I was sitting
a minute ago.  He said something to Howie and they both stood up.  They
gently pulled AJ to his feet and out of the bathroom.  I looked at Brian
and he was completely pale.  I looked to where he was looking and saw that
the entire wall AJ was laying on was covered in blood.
	"Howie, Kevin, stop.  AJ is bleeding." I said to them.  AJ was
still in a trance but Howie and Kevin instantly stopped.  I walked over to
them and pulled up AJ's shirt.  There was a cut from one side of his lower
back to the other.  Brian looked as if he was going to pass out.
	"Get him to Kevin's apartment and lay him down on the couch," I
instructed them.  Howie picked him up under his knees and under his arms
and gently carried him over to Kevin's apartment.  Once there Howie laid
him down on his stomach.  "Now, go get all the gauze and gauze tape that
you can find," I said out loud.  Brian ran into the bathroom and soon
emerged with three boxes of gauze and a roll of tape in one hand and Iodine
in the other.  I pulled AJ's shirt up again and started to look at his
back.  It looked as if a piece of metal slapped him across his back.  The
cut was not that deep and it looked as if it stopped bleeding a while ago
so it was not that serious.  I took the iodine from Brian and squeezed some
out along AJ's cut.  He seemed to have flinched a little, which was a good
sign.  I then took the gauze and laid them out across the cut.  It took six
entire packages to cover the entire thing.  I tapped them down and started
to look for any other cuts.  There were a few little cuts but nothing to
worry about. I stood up and turned to face the guys.  They were all white.
	"He is going to be fine," I told them.  "The cut was not deep and
it looked as if it stopped bleeding quite some time ago."  They all looked
relived.  "Now I want to know what the hell happened last night," I said to
them.
	"Once you fell asleep at the hospital we all headed home.  Nick,
Brian, and AJ went out clubbing." Kevin started in.
	"We lost track of AJ about midnight and when we left at one his car
was gone.  We figured that he went home, but when we got here his car was
not here." Brian interrupted.
	"So we figured that he went to a different club," Nick finished.
	"Is that it?" I asked them.
	"Up until you found him this morning," Brian told me.  I just
starred at AJ.  I was starting to feel weak and tired.  I think Howie
noticed this because he put his arm around my back and lead me to one of
the chairs.  I sat down and the room started to spin.  I slammed my eyes
shut until I felt as if I could open them again.  I slowly opened them and
the room stopped spinning.  Howie had pulled a chair over to me and had a
hold of my hand.  Kevin was sitting at the kitchen table as were Brian and
Nick.  I looked over at AJ and noticed that he was sleeping.  I could see
the rise and fall of his back Time drug on, minutes seemed like hours, no
one spoke we just sat there waiting.
	"We were coming back from the club last night," a voice started.
Everyone jumped and noticed that AJ was in a semi-sitting position.  We all
headed over to him.  Kevin sat down next to him and put his arm around his
shoulder and held him close.  "The car came out from nowhere," AJ
continued.  He was starting to cry.  "I tried to swerve out of the way, but
the car smashed right into the side of us.  I got out okay, but Jake..."
was all AJ could get out.  He started to sob all over again.  Kevin was
gently rubbing his back.  I looked over at Howie.
	"Who is Jake?" I asked quietly.  He shrugged his shoulders and had
a puzzled look.  In fact, everyone had a puzzled look except for Kevin.
	"Jake was AJ's..." Kevin trailed off.  AJ looked up at him and had
a puzzled look too.
	"You knew?" AJ asked in between tears.  Kevin just nodded his head.
AJ started to cry even harder.  Kevin got him up and walked him into the
spare bedroom.  We all gave each other puzzled looks.  None of us had any
idea what was going on.  Kevin soon emerged from the bedroom.
	"AJ, is asleep," Kevin announced.
	"Who the hell is Jake?" Brian demanded.  Kevin stared at all of us
then let out a sigh.
	"Jake is...was AJ's boyfriend," Kevin said slowly.  Everyone's jaw
dropped.  This new caused everyone to get dumber looks on their faces than
before.  "Now, seeing as it is 8:00 I am going to get something to eat and
go to bed." Kevin announced.
	"Why didn't he tell us?" Nick asked.
	"He was afraid. He was afraid that we would think less of him,"
Kevin said busying himself in the kitchen.
	"But, Howie, Nick and myself..." Brian started.
	"He was afraid that we would think less of him because of his
personality, he always flirted and took women "home" etc." Kevin answered.
No one seemed to have anymore questions.  We all stood there for a minute.
I do not think that anyone could move if they had to.  Finally Brian
stormed out of the room.  Nick followed after him and Howie did too.  So I
followed after Howie.  Nick ran into his and Brian's apartment and Howie
ran down the stairs.  I followed after Howie.  We practically ran down the
steps and out the door.  Howie jumped in the car and started the engine
before I could even catch up to him.  I was just getting to the passenger
side door when he sped out of the parking lot leaving me behind.  I stood
there dumbfounded for a minute before I got my bearings and headed back
into the building.  I rode the elevator up to the guy's floor and stepped
out.  I knocked on Kevin's door and he quickly answered it.
	"Hi," I said quietly.
	"Chris?" Kevin asked.
	"Howie left me behind, he sped out of here and never gave me a
chance to get in the car," I said calmly.  Kevin ushered me in the room and
I sat down on the couch.  He did not say anything but went into his bedroom
and came out with a pillow and a blanket.  I took them and laid out on the
couch.  I was soon sound asleep.
	I was suddenly awoken by the sound of a ringing telephone.  I got
up and went into the kitchen.  I looked at the clock on the microwave and
it said 3:30am.  I quickly picked up the phone.
	"Hello?" I asked.
	"Um, yes, is Kevin home?" a strange voice asked.
	"Yeah, give me a minute, he is asleep," I said setting down the
phone.  I walked down the hall to Kevin's room and pushed open the door.  I
started to gently shake Kevin.
	"What?" he asked groggily.
	"Kevin, someone is on the phone for you," I told him.
	"What time is it?" he asked.
	"3:30 in the morning, expecting someone?" I asked him.  He slowly
got out of bed and headed into the kitchen.
	"Hello?" he asked into the phone.  I only heard on side of the
conversation.  "Yes, Yes, Okay, I will be right there," and he hung up the
phone.
	"What was that?" I asked him.
	"Howie is passed out at some bar," Kevin said sighing.  He headed
into the bedroom and quickly emerged fully dressed.  It shocked me how fast
the guy could change clothes.  He grabbed his keys and headed out the door.
I was right behind him.  He pounded on Brian and Nick's door and Brian
quickly opened it.
	"What?"
	"Stay with AJ, we have to go pick Howie up," Kevin told him.  Brian
nodded his head and ran across the hall to Kevin's apartment.  We got into
the elevator and Kevin finally stopped.
	"Do this often?" I asked him.
	"Yeah, but it is usually with AJ," he said.  The elevator stopped
on the ground floor and we got out.  Kevin headed to his car and I followed
him.  We both got in and headed for whatever bar Howie was at.  It seemed
like we entered the twilight zone.  The side of town that Howie was at did
not seem friendly at all.  Kevin pulled up to this little dilapidated
building and parked the car.  The bartender was waiting at the door for us.
	"He is in the back corner.  I tried to wake him up but he is out
cold," the bartender said.
	"Thanks, will you watch the car, we will go get him," Kevin told
her.  She nodded her head and stayed at the door.  The inside of the bar
was just like the outside.  Dirty and dark.  We saw Howie laying face first
on the table.  Kevin walked over to him and picked up the glass that was on
the table.  He sniffed it and rolled his eyes.  I was standing next to
Howie while Kevin went over to the bar.  He walked behind it and grabbed an
empty pitcher.  He filled it with water and walked back over to the table
Howie was at.  He turned the pitcher upside down and its contents dumped
all over Howie.  Howie sat straight up.
	"Come on Howie, it is time to leave," Kevin told him.
	"Time to leave, the party is just beginning," he said.  He was
plastered.  I knew that he would be paying for it in the morning.
	"Come on Howie, the lady is trying to close up to go home," I told
him.
	"Naw...she can wait, I am having a good time," he said.  He still
refused to even stand if he could at all.
	"Howie, get up now, we have to go home," I said sternly.
	"Fuck you Chris, oh, wait, that's right, you never want to, the
only time was on the beach...whoodedoo," Howie said sarcastically.  I
turned beet red.  I knew that it was the alcohol but it still hurt.
	"Howie, get up now!" Kevin yelled at him.
	"Why should I?" he asked.  His whole body was swaying back and
forth.
	"Howie, baby, come on, get up, we have to go home." I pleaded.
	"Why, so you can say no to me again?  I thought that you were going
to be an easy fuck, guess that you proved me wrong...huh?" Howie smiled at
me.
	"Howie, get your drunk ass up now," Kevin yelled at him pulling on
his arm.  I grabbed the other arm and we pulled him to his feet.  He tried
to sit back down but we held him up.  We started to walk him to the car
when he suddenly stopped and became dead weight.  This threw Kevin and I
off balance and all three of us toppled to the ground.  I was just getting
up when Howie grabbed my arm and pulled me back down.
	"Give me a kiss," he said pulling me closer to him. His breath was
bad enough to kill a horse.
	"Howie, let go of me and get up," I yelled at him.
	"Nope." He said.  Kevin grabbed Howie's arm and pulled it off of
mine.  I scrambled to my feet and pulled Howie to his.  Together Kevin and
I pulled him to the car and the bartender opened the back door.  We set him
in and almost instantly he passed out again.
	"Thanks Sarah, can you take his car home?" Kevin asked the
bartender throwing her Howie's keys.
	"Sure thing, thanks for getting him out of here," Sarah said.  I
got in the car and so did Kevin.
	"Wow, I guess that you do go through this often," I said.
	"Not as much as before, but Sarah is understanding, it used to be
on a weekly basis," Kevin said as we were heading down the street.
	"Come on back to our place," I told him.  He nodded and headed for
our house.  I was surprised at how close to our house this bar was.  We
soon pulled into the driveway and Kevin opened the gates.  He pulled up to
the house and we pulled Howie out of the backseat.  It was hell getting him
up the few front steps but we managed.  I opened the front door and we
walked in.  Kevin wanted to take him upstairs but I told him to just put
him on the couch.  We set him on the couch and Kevin took off his shoes.
	"Don't bother going home now," I told him.  Kevin nodded and
followed me upstairs.  I set the alarm and headed into the master bedroom.
Kevin headed into one of the other bedrooms and shut the door.  I undressed
for bed and pulled down the blanket.  I slowly got in and laid there
staring at myself on the ceiling.  Howie's words still repeated themselves
in my head.  Every time I heard them it made me feel worse and worse.  I
ended up crying myself to sleep.
	I awoke late that morning.  I glanced at the clock and it said
12:30.  I heard noises downstairs so I got dressed and headed down.  I
walked into the kitchen and Kevin was making breakfast.  Howie was emptying
the last of a pot of coffee into his mug.
	"You did not have to make breakfast," I told him.
	"I know, but I felt like doing it, besides Nick. Brian and AJ are
on their way over.
	"How is AJ doing?" I asked.
	"A hell of a lot better than Howie," Kevin answered.  I turned to
look at Howie and he looked like shit.  His hair was all over the place and
he reeked of alcohol.  His clothes were all wrinkled and his eyes were
bloodshot.
	"Go up and take a shower," I told him.
	"I was just going to," he said as he walked past me.  Once he was
out of earshot I turned to Kevin.
	"Does he know what he said last night?" I asked Kevin.
	"Yeah, I had a talk with him this morning about what happened last
night," Kevin answered.
	"He does not seem to remorseful," I said to him.
	"I know, I think that you guys are going to need to have a long
talk," Kevin said emphasizing on the long.
	"Once his hangover from hell goes away," I told him.
	"I think that you two should talk as soon as you can," he said
hinting for me to go upstairs.  I took the hint and headed upstairs.  Howie
was in the bedroom sprawled out on the bed crying.
	"Howie?" I asked quietly.
	"Chris, I am so sorry," he answered.  I walked over to him and
pulled him up to a sitting position.
	"Baby, I know, you were drunk and something obviously pissed you
off," I said quietly.
	"No, I am sorry because I think I meant it," he said bluntly.  This
caught me totally off guard.
	"What the hell do you mean.  You think you meant it?" I snapped.
	"I think, well, I am not sure that I am actually in love with you,"
he answered.
	"What made all this come up now?" I asked calmly.
	"I don't know, it is just all that has been happening," he answered
crying.
	"I am so glad that you flew me across the country just to tell me
that all you wanted was a one night stand," I said sarcastically.
	"No, that is not it, I mean, I love you, but I am just so confused
now," he cried.  I could not take it any more so I snapped.
	"You know what Howard Dorough.  I totally upturned my life to be
with you.  I got my own mother arrested.  I flew across the country, I gave
my virginity to you, and all you wanted was a quick fling?  I would have
been better off homeless in New York." I screamed at him.  He just stared
at me.  I jumped off of the bed and walked out the door.  I headed
downstairs and into the kitchen.  I threw open the fridges door causing
Kevin to jump.  I took every can of beer out and opened them all then I
dumped them down the sink.  I then flew to the stairs and continued down
them. I went to the bar and pushed it down.  Barely and bottles in it broke
and that caused me to get pissed off even more.  I started to chuck the
bottles at the wall.  I knew that they would break.  With every bottle that
I threw I was getting madder and madder.  Kevin came down the stairs and
tried to stop me.  I just kept getting madder and madder.  Kevin grabbed me
by the shoulders and threw me to the ground.  I stared up at him and
started to cry.
	"Chris, what is wrong?" Kevin asked me.
	"He said that he meant everything he said," I cried.  Kevin sank to
the ground and wrapped his arm around me.  "He said that he did not love
me," I continued.
	"Chris calm down," Kevin urged.  But I could not, I just kept
crying.  At some point the guys joined us down there.  Kevin stood up and
faced them.
	"What happened?" Nick asked.
	"Chris and Howie had a fight," Kevin answered.
	"He said that he did not love me, he said that he wanted me for an
easy fuck," I sobbed.  They guys did not say anything but I could tell that
they were genuinely concerned.  I heard someone run up the stairs but I
could not see anything.  I felt another set of arms try to pull me to my
feet.  I let it and I felt myself being lead up the stairs.  I was set down
on the couch and a set of hands was still holding me.  I was still crying.
I really loved Howie and I thought that he loved me.  I did not know what
was going on anymore and I was scared.  I was wondering if maybe I should
have listened to my mother.  I felt a second set of hands replace the first
set and I slowly opened my eyes.  I looked around and saw Howie holding me.
I tried to move away but I was pretty well trapped.
	"Chris, I am sorry, I thought that I meant it, but AJ made me
realize just how much I loved you," he started.  I did not say anything.
"I know that you are mad at me, but I am so sorry, I was mad at AJ because,
well because, I had wanted him ever since we first met, and he made it
clear that he was straight, then when I found out that he was gay it made
me mad.  I took it out on you and thought that I knew what I was talking
about but I did not, Chris, you are the only one for me, and if I lost you
I don't know what I would do.  I could have killed myself for what I said
to you.  I understand if you want to leave, but I do not want you to,"
Howie cried.  I looked at him.  There was something in the way he said it
and in his eyes that made me feel he was sincere.  I hugged him and gave
him a kiss on the top of his head.  He buried his head in my shoulder and
kept on crying.  That is when I noticed that AJ was crying too.  Kevin was
trying to keep AJ calm and I was trying to calm Howie down.  That day we
all spent at our house.  Nick and Brian spent most of the day cleaning up
the basement.  Kevin tried his damnedest to keep AJ calm, which was not an
easy thing to do.  Howie and I pretty much talked all day long.  We worked
things out and everything went smoothly once again.  AJ finally got the
entire story out.
	Him and Jake were coming back from the club heading to AJ's
apartment when a car came out of nowhere and smashed into them.  AJ only
had the cut on his back but the car smashed right into Jake's side of the
car.  Jake died instantly.  The police brought AJ home and they had no idea
that he was injured.  He locked himself in the bathroom where we found him.
The funeral was going to be in three days and AJ would not even be able to
speak at it without giving away his relationship.  That is why AJ was so
distraught.  The rest of the week went like that, until Thursday when the
funeral came.  We all went but sat in the back.  AJ was trying not to cry
but the tears won.  I felt extremely bad for him and it caused me to start
crying too.  It was a quiet service and it was soon over.  AJ went out to
his car and got in back.  He started to bawl once the door shut.  Nobody
knew what to do or say.  It was a very weird time.  The funeral procession
headed to the cemetery.  For some reason I glanced at my watch.  It was
Thursday August 19th.  It suddenly clicked that today was my twentieth
birthday.  Everything had been so weird that I had totally forgotten about
it.  I did not say anything however.  After the funeral we all went our
separate ways.  Howie and I went home. Kevin, Nick, Brian, and AJ all went
back to their apartments.  It was a cold rainy day and nobody felt all that
right doing anything.  I went downstairs and started to do a light workout.
I was feeling really weird and lost track of all time.  My muscles were
extremely sore when Howie came downstairs.
	"Chris?" he asked.
	"Hey," I said as I was wiping the sweat off of the bench.
	"What's wrong?  You seem depressed today," he said quietly sitting
down on the bench and pulling me down on top of him.
	"I guess that it is just the funeral and everything," I lied.
	"Cheer up, AJ is going to be okay, besides dinner is ready," he
said giving me a kiss on the lips.  I stood up and we walked hand in hand
to the dining room.  Dinner was set out on our plates and we quickly ate.
We then went into the living room.  Howie turned on the TV and popped a
video in the VCR.  We laid down on the floor and started to watch whatever
movie it was.  I laid my head down on Howie's chest and was asleep before
the previews ended.  I awoke the next morning still laying on Howie's chest
and still laying on the floor.  I got up and went into the kitchen.  I took
last nights dishes out of the dishwasher and put a pot of coffee on.  I was
sore as hell.  I walked over to the phone and dialed Kevin's number.
	"Hello?" Kevin answered.
	"Kevin, this is Chris, in about an hour I need you to come over and
pick Howie up.  Take him to a movie or something-just get him out of here.
Also tell Nick, Brian, and AJ to come over here in an hour and a half.  I
am planning a party for Howie's birthday and I need help.  Okay?" I said
swiftly afraid that Howie was going to wake up.
	"Okay, I will, good luck, no one has been able to surprise Howie
yet," Kevin chuckled hanging up the phone.  I walked back into the living
room and sat down next to Howie.  I gave him a deep kiss on his lips and he
slowly woke up.
	"Hey," he said sitting up.
	"Hey, Kevin is going to be over in about an hour, something about
he needs to show you something or tell you something, I am not sure, but
get up and get dressed." I urged.  Howie jumped to his feet and ran
upstairs.  I went back to the kitchen and poured myself a cup of coffee.  I
sat down in the living room thinking about what I should do for Howie's
party.  Howie soon came back downstairs his hair was still wet but he was
fully dressed.  He sat down next to me.
	"I love you," he whispered in my ear.  I turned and gave him a deep
kiss on his lips.  We just broke the kiss as I heard the front door open.
Howie turned expecting to see Kevin instead he saw a older woman and an
older man standing in the doorway.  He pushed me down on the couch and
jumped up over it.
	"Mom, dad!" he yelled.  I could not see anything but I had the
feeling that they had come at an inopportune time.  I heard the voices get
lower and lower figuring that they were being ushered into the kitchen.
Howie came running into the living room and hurdled over the couch again.
	"They don't know about us do they?" I asked him.
	"No, now go outside and ring the front door bell, I am going to
introduce you as a friend to them." Howie said running back to the kitchen.
I crept to the front door and slowly opened it.  I got outside and rang the
front door bell.  I heard footsteps heading towards it and waited for it to
be opened. It slowly opened and I looked inside.  Howie's father was
standing there.
	"Hello young man," he said to me.
	"Hello, is Howie home?" I asked him.
	"Yes he is, what is this about?" he asked me pleasantly.
	"Well, um, Howie lets me come over and use his mini-gym
downstairs," I told him.  He nodded his head and shut the door.  I waited
for it to be opened again and it soon was this time by Howie.  I walked in
the door and saw Howie's mom and dad standing next to him.
	"Hey Howie," I said to him.
	"Hey Chris, mom, dad, this is Chris, he is a friend of mine and he
comes over every now and then to use the gym downstairs," Howie said.  I
wondered how he knew what I said.  I said hello to them and headed
downstairs.  Howie followed after me.  When we got downstairs I turned and
looked at Howie.
	"Wouldn't it be easier to tell them about us?" I asked him.
	"NO!  We can just keep it up like this." He said.
	"Howie, they brought suitcases.  I think that they are going to be
here for a while." I said to him.
	"If they are then you can stay with AJ or Kevin, or Nick and
Brian," Howie said to me.
	"But I want to stay here with you," I pleaded.
	"They never stay long, they will be here up until Monday, the day
after my birthday," Howie explained.
	"That is four days that I am going to be away from you," I said to
him.
	"Relax, we can figure something out.  But for now Kevin is going to
be here in a minute so just come back upstairs and say that you are going
to go with me and Kevin instead." Howie answered.
	"That is not going to work because Nick and Brian and AJ are going
to be here in an hour and a half to pick me up," I said to him.
	"Then wait outside of the gate or Kevin can drop you off at their
place and everything can be alright," Howie said.
	"Why don't you take your parents with you and Kevin?" I asked him.
	"That could work, look just stay down here and everything should be
okay," he said kissing me on the forehead then running up the stairs.  I
waited down there and soon heard the door open.  Kevin walked in and was
soon pushed back out by a stressed Howie.  I heard the door shut then I
heard total silence.  I headed up the stairs and slowly looked around.  I
did not see anybody there so I sat down in the living room sighing.  Nick,
Brian, and AJ soon pulled up and walked into the house.
	"Who's car is that outside?" Nick asked.
	"Howie's parents, who do not know that Howie and I are a couple, it
has been an interesting morning," I said to him.  All three of them seemed
to get a kick out of the situation.
	"Sounds like fun," they said in unison.
	"Fuck you, well I do not know how long Kevin is going to keep Howie
away so we need to get down to work." I instructed.  We made a long list of
things for Howie's birthday party.  We were just finishing as Kevin pulled
into the driveway.  "By the way, I am moving in with you AJ for the next
four days," I said as the door was opening.  AJ had no time to object
because everyone was walking in the door.
	"Chris, you are still here..." Howie said with a hint of urgency in
his voice.
	"Well, just as I was leaving the guys came over to see you and you
were not home. We got to talking and time just flew by," I explained to
him.
	"Yeah, we were just going to give him a ride home," AJ answered.
	"Cool, well see you later Chris," Howie said as I was heading out
the door.  We walked to the guy's car.  Once we were in I let out a sigh of
relief.
	"I don't see why he could not just tell his parents the truth," I
said out loud.
	"Hey, there has been a lot of that going on lately," Brian said
sharply. I looked at Nick but Nick shook his head.  I realized that he was
talking about AJ.  I rolled my eyes and sank back in my seat.  I did not
know what I was going to do about not being able to see Howie for four
days.  We soon pulled up to the guy's apartment building and got out of the
car.  We got to their floor and got out.  I followed AJ to his apartment
and followed him in.  It was no longer dark in the place and that made me
feel a little better.  He showed me to the extra room and I went in.  I
laid down on the bed and was soon sound asleep.  I did not realize that I
had fallen asleep until I awoke the next morning to a pounding on the door.
I got up and headed into the living room.  I slowly opened the door and
peaked out it.  I saw Howie standing there.  I threw open the door and
Howie instantly greeted me in a hug.
	"Baby, I can't stand to be away from you," he said to me.
	"I can't either," I told him kissing him on the lips.
	"I am taking you home right now and I am going to tell my parents
about me and about us," he said.
	"I thought that you already told them that you were gay," I said.
	"I know, I was going to, I wanted to, but I couldn't.  I figured if
you thought that my parents knew about me then it might make you feel
better," Howie explained.  I shrugged it off and followed him out the door.
We ran down the stairs and into the car.  Howie drove home and we got out
of the car.  When we got home Howie opened the door and we saw his parents
sitting in the living room.
	"Howie, where did you go?" his mom asked.
	"Mom, dad, I have something that I need to tell you," he started.
	"What?" they asked in unison.
	"Mom dad, I am gay and Chris here is my boyfriend." Howie said
bluntly. I saw them both jump to their feet.  I saw Howie's father get an
evil look in his eyes and come straight to me.  I feared for the worst...
	TO BE CONTINUED...
	Hey, thought that I was going to end it didn't you.  Well a lot of
shit had been going down in my life and I really do not want to get into
it.  Hopefully the next chapter will not take as long.  E-mail me at
MATRIX3311@AOL.COM or ICQ me @ 33110864.