Date: Sat, 22 Apr 2000 03:30:34 -0700
From: CrazyStar <crazystar@canoemail.com>
Subject: crazy 8

Yo... 'sup y'all? I know it's totally been a while, but things got kinda
hectic for a while... as if they're still not. That and I just couldn't
find any inspiration to write, and that was a big reason. Thanks to y'all
who emailed me and asked what was up with the story.

Anyways, I wanna dedicate this chapter to an awesome friend and his
boyfriend. You guys really are cute together and I'm SOOO glad y'all
managed to hook up. You guys definitely deserve each other. There are tons
of really kick ass stories out there and I know that my little project here
doesn't even touch theirs... there's too many to mention without missing
someone who deserves the credit. Go read them yo, especially since they're
way better than this.

The disclaimer and stuff still holds true. I'm not implying that anyone in
this story is gay or bi or whatever. That includes the Ryan character.
Sorry guy, you're just stuck in this. Til next time keep it crunk a'ight.

Crazy
Chapter 8

Waking up next to Justin was an incredible feeling. Suddenly all of the
horrible things in the past few years were completely wiped out with a
fresh breath of air. They all seemed totally insignificant now. Or at the
very least, having to go through them was worth it, even if this only
lasted a short while.

Maybe there was some sort of plan involved here. People do say that nothing
in life is for free. I guess there's just a price to pay before you can
enjoy the really good stuff in life. If it really is true, then I think I
got the good end of the bargain here. Even last night was a prime example.
I mean, it hurt... really badly. But we managed to get through it, and here
we were. I could say that someone was watching out for me, but maybe that's
not it either. Although, Lance and JC certainly helped, a lot. I'd have to
remember to thank the guys for being so supportive and stuff.

For a split second I started to question what we had done. I mean, I had
kissed a guy, and now I was laying here with him. I even told him that I
loved him last night. What the fuck was up with that? I mean... well I
don't know what I mean, I'm just a big wuss... scared to accept what was
the truth. My heart told my mind to shut up, and for the first time in a
very long time, possibly ever, I actually listened. Love comes in a lot of
different forms; that's just the way that it's supposed to work. Not
everything can go according to your planfor things, and the only people who
truly believe in that are only going to drive themselves insane. Unless of
course I'm the insane one here. In that case, if it means that I have to be
insane to fall for Justin then I want to be insane, cuz it totally feels so
good.

There was an odd glow coming into the room. It must be late in the morning;
if not early afternoon. But that was something I always did anyways. I
mean, I can never get enough sleep. Besides, I'd be willing to lay here
forever if it meant that I could just be here with Just. Even when we were
both unconscious I could feel his presence. And, for the first time in a
long while, I didn't have any nightmares. No one came to beat me down or
kill me. There were no ballrooms full of fraudulently cold men and women in
their black tie formal wear. There were no car accidents. No re-visitations
to the deaths of those who were so close to me in the past couple of
years. There was nothing but peace; in it's purest, most sanctified
form. That and the body and soul of the most gorgeous person on the planet-
and not just in the physical sense either- who was sound asleep next to me.

I propped myself up on my elbows to get a better look at him. The soft glow
that was emanating across the room gave Justin this unrealistic quality to
him. It was almost as if he was an illusion created by some David
Copperfield rip-off(you know, the guys that made that "Magic Revealed"- or
whatever it was called- tv shows). I wanted to reach out and touch his
soft, tanned skin, but I was totally afraid of waking him before he was
ready to get up.

I decided to lay back down and fall back into a deep sleep.

A few moments later, or at least so it seemed, I could feel a careful hand
reach up and rub it's fingers through my hair. I let out a long and
drawn-out sigh. It was definitely not one of boredom or discontent. Just
one of relief at being reassured that there really was someone- not just
anyone; an amazing and attractive person- laying there next to me.

"Mmmm?" Usually in the morning that's the most that I can manage out of my
mouth. Even if I am able to use some of those higher thought processes
humans are supposed to have. Some people think that I'm a narcoleptic, but
really I just sleep a lot, and I enjoy it. I almost put sleeping as one of
my hobbies on my resume, but for some reason employers tend to take that as
a sign of laziness, so I decided not to do it. I'm not lazy, I just like to
cuddle up somewhere warm and go unconscious. That's not such a bad plan
when you have someone to cuddle up with.

"Hey you." Justin's southern accent was sooo cute. It tended to tone itself
down a little as the day went on, but it was VERY noticeable early in the
day or when he got tired.

"Hey yourself yo." I smiled. So many people have made fun of my use of
ebonics. I'm not that bad-I mean, I don't sound like I'm from the ghetto or
anything- it's just something that makes me Ryan. Besides, Justin can't
complain since he uses more them than I do.

"So, do you know what time it is?" I could hear the smile in his voice, and
it was very cute. He was teasing me.

"Uh, sometime between sunrise and sunset?" I could play this game too after
all.

"It's like almost four in the afternoon, we should probably think about
getting up before they send out a search party." I knew that we would have
to get up eventually, but I never thought that he would be the one to
suggest it. I just figured that Josh or Lance would eventually break down
the door and drag us out kicking and screaming. I laughed at that thought
since I had been literally dragged out of bed more than once.

"What's so funny about having to get up Ry?" I opened my eyes and looked
into those cool blue eyes of his. I had been told that I had cool eyes, but
I know that his were much more so. It's not often you find someone who has
eyes you could find yourself getting completely lost in. Our lips
connected, sending shockwaves throughout the streets of Orlando. I was
definitely going to have to get used to this.

We finally broke loose of each other and climbed out of bed. Justin went
into the bathroom and I went in search of food; seeming it was so late in
the afternoon. There was one thing that I really wanted and it was
chocolate cereal. So sue me if I like to eat kid's cereal, I mean, I am
only 19, and besides it tastes soooo good. Plus I've gotta make up for the
fact that my mom never let me eat this kind of stuff when I was little.

I opened the door and stepped out into the hall. Suddenly I thought about
what would happen if Justin's mom or family saw me coming out of his room
like this. It would not look good... but then I remembered that they were
all usually gone during the day, and that I shouldn't have anything to
worry about.

I saw Josh's door open down the hall and I could hear some funky jazz
coming out of it, so I decided to see what he was up to. I walked up to the
doorway and just stood there. He was laying stomach down on his bed reading
a big ass book. It had a brown cover and had to be at least a couple
thousand pages. It was less than a minute before he seemed to figure out
that someone was standing in his doorway; I guess Justin must do it a
lot. He looked up at my and smiled.

"Hey you. How's it going? We were pretty worried about you guys last
night." Trust Josh. He really was a great person. One of those people that
always looks out for his friends and worries about them until he knows that
they're safe. I couldn't help but catch his contagious smile.

"Hey yourself and not bad considering... I mean, I once heard about this
guy. He had these three incredible friends. Two of them worked their butts
off to make the guy and the third friend realise that they had feelings for
each other. I can only imagine how incredible they made the guy feel..."
The next part came out barely audible, something that I was prone to do
from time to time. "Thanks Josh, I dunno what I'd do if I hadn't met
y'all... thanks..." I just stared at the floor. All of the sudden I felt so
small, as if I had done nothing to deserve any of these guys; least of all
Justin. But I just felt so insignificant compared to Josh and Lance. I
couldn't ever image of finding a way to truely thank them.

I didn't hear Josh get up and cross the room until he pulled me into a
hug. "I know what you're thinking and you don't have to worry about it
Ryan. You don't have to find a way to repay us or thank us or anything. We
did what we did because we're you're friends and we'd do it again in a
second without thinking." He paused. I think the world stopped spinning.
"Besides, just by being you, you've already done more than enough for
us. You know that we don't get to meet a lot of people we can trust, let
alone call friends, and now the three of us have you to call on when we
need to vent about the other guys." I returned the hug.

"Thanks again Josh..." Suddenly there was someone giggling behind us and I
felt a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around my waist.

"Get your own guy Josh!" Justin mockinly snarled and bared his teeth. Josh
backed off looking like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. For
a spit second there was was silence and then we all broke out in
laughter. "Let's get some cereal Ry."

"A'ight yo. See ya later Josh, I'm being taken to my cage now." Justin
lightly bit my ear and punched me in the shoulder. "Ow! Thanks again Josh."
I heard a "no worries" float out of Josh's room as Justin and I walked away
as one unit. It was kinda funny. I felt like I was in a three-legged race
or something, but it worked fine until we got to the stairs. I almost
tripped and dragged Justin down the stairs, but managed to grab onto the
railing in time to steady myself. "Uh... maybe we should just let go now
Just, I don't feel like free-falling into your living room."

"Hmmm...." Justin had this funky look on his face. Almost an evil grin. The
next thing I knew he picked me up and carried me down the stairs like I was
a little kid and then into the kitchen where he sat me down on a stool at
the counter. We both laughed the whole way down. He kissed the top of my
head and then grabbed two HUGE bowls off a shelve and then filled them with
some Count Chocula cereal before grabbing a carton of milk and a spoon and
then sitting down on the stool beside me. I looked at him curiously as he
filled the two bowls with milk. I couldn't figure out what it was, but he
was definitely up to something. He slid one of the bowls in front of me and
then began to eat. I looked from him to his spoon, to my bowl to him, and
then pouted. He saw it out of the corner of his eye, but pretended not to
see. He stared into his bowl until he threw his arms up in defeat.

"I give up! I can't take the pout!" He got up, grabbed a spoon from the
drawer and slowly walked back. He was grinning a purely evil grin. "But
just for that, you've gotta let me feed you a couple spoonfuls." I started
to laugh and just as I opened my mouth he shoved a spoonful in. I probably
would've choked on it if I hadn't been laughing so hard and pit it back out
onto the counter. We both started to laugh even harder. It started to hurt
by the time Josh came bounding down the stairs.

"What are you guys doing?" He eyebrows were all scrunched up. "Ryan, cereal
is supposed to go in your mouth not on the counter!" That caused all three
of us to laugh even harder. Justin almost fell off his stool. I on the
other hand was not so lucky. I landed on my butt on the hard floor.

"Ow!" I yelled in between gasps for air and laughs. I could feel the
burning sensation where my butt landed on the ground and all through my abs
from laughing so hard.

"What they don't teach you how to sit on stools up there either Ry?" Josh
was killing me. I was seriously laughing so hard I thought I was going to
die. From the looks of it I wasn't the only one either. Justin's face was
so red it looked like he was gonna explode. I didn't like that thought too
much though and it started to calm me down a little. I was still breathing
a little heavy though.

"Ouch... man, I don't think I've laughed that hard in forever yo!" Justin
hopped down off his stool and kneeled down beside me. I guess I must of
looked pretty bad cuz he looked pretty worried. He reached down and
tenderly grabbed my hand.

"Are you ok? Do you hurt?" I couldn't tell whether it was out of worry or
from all the laughing we had just done, but it looked like he was going to
cry.

"Uh... yeah, my stomach just hurts." I squeezed his hand in reassurance.

"Sure?"

"Yup, just my stomach"

"Ok. Then let me make it better." He used his other hand to lift up my
shirt and expose my abs before leaning down and kissing them. He smiled at
how smart he thought he was... well, he was smart, it DID make me feel
better.

"Ahem..." Josh cleared his throat to remind us that he was still there.
"You know, I dunno what Lynn would say if she found you two having sex on
her kitchen floor." The two of us began to blush; profusely. I could feel
the heat in my ear signifying the presence of the increased blood flow.
"Lighten up guys, I was just kidding. You don't have to pull the 'deer
caught in headlights' routine." We both seemed to let out a sigh at the
same time and giggled a little bit as we pulled each other up of the floor
and sat down; still holding hands.

"Hey! I think all my marshmallows melted! Look what you did Josh!" Justin
whined. So I decided to feed him some of my cereal. "Mmm... but your
marshmallows are melted too." He laughed.

"Oh, soooo sorry Justin. Maybe Ryan will kiss it better." Josh was pouring
on the sarcasm, but it was kinda funny. I figured I'd make him regret it,
or at least to enjoy trying to make him regret it. I pulled Justin in for a
long kiss. Once our lips connected it seemed as if, again, all time came to
one of those totally cliche stand stills. I really didn't care though,
because I was just enjoying the feel of Justin's soft lips pressed against
mine. By the time we came up for air and looked around, Josh was gone.

"Guess he's not into watching two guys kiss, eh Just?" Justin just smiled.

"Either that or he was enjoying it too much and had to go relieve himself."
Justin seemed proud of himself for making a sexual innuendo.

"Ewww... *too* much information Just!"

"Hey, I'm just putting out the possibility as to why he left!"

We went back to eating our now almost soggy, chocolately goo. I didn't
really care though, since I was so hungry and it still tasted good. Even if
all my marshmallows were melted.

After we finished eating we put the bowls and spoons in the dish washer and
heading into the living room to see if there was anything on the tv. We
found some re-re-runs of I love Jeannie that were on and sat comfortably on
the couch just enjoying being close to each other. You know that things are
good when you can just sit there and be happy without having to say a
single woard because you know exactly what the other person is thinking.
It's not that we didn't have anything to say(I could think of a zillion
things that I wanted to say), but more that we didn't need to say anything
to enjoy being with each other.

About-the guys insist that I say "aboot" but I know I don't- halfway
through the show the phone rang and Justin almost didn't answer, but
finally, and reluctantly, gave in after I urged him with my eyes to answer
it. Most of his conversation consisted of yes', no's and uh huhs, so I
automatically assumed- never assume anything by the way- that it was his
mom or dad or some sort of older relative, but I was pretty suprised when
he passed me the phone without telling me who it was. It turned out that it
was actually Lance and he wanted us to come over for some barbeque. Justin
nodded his head to let me know that it was cool with him, so I told Lance
we'd be over it about an hour or so, and Lance told me to make sure we
dragged JC out of his room since Chris was back from his trip home and was
heading over that night too. After that I hung up the phone, and Just
must've sensed that something was outta whack.

"Are you ok?"

"Huh?... yeah, I guess." He burrowed his eyebrows into a frown, something
that was cute but at the same time not something I wanted to see a whole
lot of.

"That doesn't sound like an ok to me." He looked me sternly in the eyes.
Our blue eyes melding into a single ocean of connection. " 'Sup?" His
southern accent was a little more prominent than usual.

"Well... it's just that... you know... uh..."

"You're nervous about meeting Chris and are worried that he's not gonna
like you?"

"Yeah, how did ya know?" Just spun around in his sit so that he was sitting
cross-legged in front of me.

"Don't worry about it. I mean, Chris is probably the most relaxed and goofy
of any of us. He's pretty easy-going and trusting too. I mean, if it had
been JC that you were meeting for the first time I might be a little
worried too, just because he can be so over-protective sometimes, but Chris
is definitely not anything to worry about. Besides, if he doesn't like you
we can always replace him with you," he smirked "you're definitely way
cuter and have got a better voice. The only thing is that we'd have to
change the name of the group to *NSNNC, and I dunno if management would go
for that." I smiled back at him. He just seemed to know how to make me feel
better. I think it was the reaction he was looking for because he started
to tickle me, and I started to squirm. He jumped up and ran upstairs with
me on his heals.

****

Well, that's it for now yo... we'll see if I can't get some more off by the
end of next week, but no promises a'ighT? Peace y'all.