Date: Tue, 6 Jun 2000 02:28:28 -0700 (PDT)
From: Jay Chords <chords4@yahoo.com>
Subject: Deceiving Secrets - 8

Hi.  Well, the response from Chapter 7 was phenominal
and was  incredibly mixed.  Some are dieing to read
this chapter and others are appauled at how Kevin has
become 'evil'.  *grin* Thanks! I hope though, that it
doesn't totally turn you off and you decide to stop
reading this story. EEK! But, if your reading this, I
hope your willing to see what else I've got up my
sleeve.

Disclaimer: *snooooooooooooooooooooooze* *groan*
ooohhhhhhhhhhh lance *grin* haha, I'm odd, yes.  Um,
you know the disclaimer you know the warning. you know
if you should be here.

Send any comments, questions, or hateful letters to :
chords4@yahoo.com  eNjOy!

-Jay

				 Chapter 8


	"What the hell is wrong with you?" Brian was screaming at his
cousin.  Never, would you see something like this taking place.  Sweet,
innocent little Brian never lashed out.
	"Grow up, Brian," Kevin scoffed.  AJ grabbed Kevin by the collar
of his shirt, glaring deeply into the man's soul.
	"You God Damned fucker," he hissed.  "How could you? We
were together for three years, three years!  Didn't that mean a damn
thing to you?"
	"Of course it did! Why do you think I proposed?"
	"Then why the fuck did you cheat on me? Why'd you start going
out with Jay?"
	"Because Jeremy was different.  He was new."  AJ dropped his
grip from Kevin's throat.  He pulled the ring vigorously off his finger.
	"You can just forget about a wedding.  You can forget about
those three years. As far as I'm concerned, you don't even exist!" AJ
growled, walked over to the window and threw the ring into the hard
breeze.  Kevin stood with his mouth open as he watched his former
fiance leave the room.
	"Alex," he whispered, falling onto the couch, his head in his
hands.


	"Mom," Jeremy was sitting next to his mother's hospital bed.
He was holding her hand.  "Everything is going to be okay."  Teresa
Gavitts eyes opened slightly.
	"I love you Jeremy.  Don't ever forget that.  I-I'm sorry I," she
started coughing.
	"Shh. Mom, don't talk. Please."   She shook her head.
	"No, I have to say this," her voice was hoarse and raspy.  "I'm
sorry I, that I said you weren't really my son when you told me you
were gay."  Jeremy winced, remembering the moment.
	"It's okay, Mom.  I understand."
	"Honey, I was wrong.  I'm sorry and I'm happy for you.  I'm glad
that you were able to be honest with me and if you had to be with a
man, I'm glad it's Chad."  Jeremy smiled at his mother, a tear sliding
down both of their cheeks.
	"Thanks, Mom."  Her eyes closed as the heart monitor let out
one monotone note.  "Mom?" he shook her slightly.  "MOM?!"

	"Mom, Mom, don't leave me!"  Jeremy was tossing and turning
on the couch.  The blanket Mica had covered him with was bunched
up between the cushions.
	"Jay, Jay. Wake up."  Jeremy bolted up, tears streaming down
his face.  He looked at Mica and began to sob.  "It's okay, Jay," she
hugged him close to her.  "Everything is going to be fine."
	"No it's not!  He played me, Mica.  He played me like a fucking
fool."  Mica was silent. She didn't know what to say.  She didn't know
that Kevin and AJ were a couple.  She didn't know that Kevin would
break her best friend's heart.
	"I'm sorry, Jay," she finally found her voice. "I'm so sorry."
Jeremy sniffled and wiped his eyes gingerly.
	"You didn't do anything wrong. It's all Kevin and I hate that ass
hole.  He can rot in hell."


	AJ was pacing back and forth in his room.  He was trying to
keep himself from crying.  He wouldn't.  He wouldn't let Kevin ruin
his life.  Sure, they had had a three-year relationship.  Sure, he was
going to be Mr. Kevin Scott Richardson and Kevin was going to be
Mr. Alexander James McLean.  Sure, life had been perfect.
	"Damn you Kevin!" he pounded his fists into a pillow. The
muffled response only made him angrier as the stuffing soon began to
flutter around him.  He grabbed the mangled item and threw it
against the wall before falling onto his bed and sobbing silently.


	Days had passed.  Jeremy moped continuously.  Mica couldn't
cheer him up no matter how much she tried, he just shied away from
her.  Honestly, she was worried about him.  She couldn't get him to
eat anything.  She was watching her best friend waste away before her
eyes.  She wouldn't admit it, but she cried herself to sleep every night
after she made sure that Jeremy was asleep.  She had taken it upon
herself to watch over him.  She'd moved her things into his house and
became his 24-hour nurse.

	Her own saving grace were the calls from Brian.  He would call
and check up on both of them.  This allowed Mica to get her worries
out in the open.  She found herself falling hopelessly in love with
Brian but would dismiss the thought as quickly as it came.

	The phone rang through the house.  Mica wasn't home to pick it
up so he had to.
	"Hello?"
	"Jay? It's Nick.  How's it going?"  Jeremy sighed and hung up
the phone.  He didn't want to speak to any of them.  No one
associated with Kevin.  The name alone made him burst into tears.
He stared down at himself.  He was so thin.  His boxers practically
slid off his hips.  He swallowed around the lump in his throat when he
would look at his calves.  So many cuts.  He was disgusted with
himself.  The little pocketknife had become his best friend.  He wiped
away the tears that were building in the corner of his eyes as the
phone rang for a second time.  Jeremy pulled his legs to his chest.  He
fumbled around and killed the ringer.  He fell against the pillows on
his bed and pulled the blankets tightly around his fragile and sickly
form.  Never again would he let himself fall in love.
	"Never again," he repeated aloud.


	Nick watched as everything fell apart around him.  He was
deeply worried that the brutal break up between his best friends
would break up the group but more importantly, would break up their
friendship.  He didn't want to have to choose sides between AJ and
Kevin.  Of course he thought what Kevin did was wrong and
disgusting, but he was only human, right?  Kevin was only human.
He still felt anger toward the older band member though.  Killing AJ's
hopes of having a wedding and hurting Jeremy.

	There was a light knock on his door.
	"Come in." Brian stuck his head in.
	"Hey Nicky, how you holding up?"  Nick shrugged.
	"I dunno.  I'm worried about AJ and Jeremy."
	"Yeah, Howie and I just checked on him. He's not doing to well.
Jeremy's not doing good either.  Mica said he hasn't been eating
anything."
	"Fuck."
	"You can say that again."
	"This is so screwed up Bri.  AJ and Kev can barely be in the
same room with each other, especially when we're on the bus and
we're all stuck with deciding who we wanna be 'loyal' to.  This is so
damn fucked up!" the teen hollered.
	"I know.  I know."


	Mica fed Atchika who gratefully licked her hand before
devouring her meal.
	"At least someone in this house is eating," she grumbled before
walked up the stairs to Jeremy's room.  "Jay? You awake?"  no
answer.  She sighed and walked back down to the living room. She
didn't know what to do.  She felt so helpless.  She walked into a small
room near the deck.  A piano was the only item in the room along
with a stool.  She sat down and let her fingers glide along the keys.
Her voice carried through the room.  Why was everything falling
apart?  A tear slid down her cheek as she played.

	"I told you you should've been a singer," Jeremy's voice called
out to her.  She stopped and looked up.  He was clad in pajama pants
and a tee shirt. His eyes were so sad, so empty, so lonely.
	"Yeah, but I couldn't leave you behind." He grinned and sat
down next to her on the bench.
	"Sing for me, please?" She sighed and started to play again.

Close your eyes,
Make a wish,
And remember my kiss,
Say good-bye and sweet dreams,
Things aren't what they seem.

You have to say good-bye,
Sometimes in this life,
Sometimes it'll last for a long or short while,
But just remember,
Good-bye's can never last forever.

Take my hand,
Hold it tight,
And remember this night,
Sit by me,
Under this tree,
And we'll make a memory.

You have to say good-bye,
Sometimes in this life,
Sometimes it'll last for a long or short while,
But just remember,
Good-bye's can never last forever.

(Words and music by: Becca Calabrese.  Dedicated to the memory of
Gabriel.)

	Mica looked down at Jeremy who was leaning against her
shoulder with tears streaming down his pale cheeks.
	"I miss him, Mica," he croaked.   She stroked his hair, letting it
fall between her fingers.
	"I know you do, Jay."  He sighed.
	"How can I fall for someone so quickly?"
	"Could he have been a rebound off of Chad?" she asked.  He
cringed.
	"Maybe. I still miss him though. Both of them," he whispered.
She sighed, kissed the top of his head, and kept stroking his hair.
	"It'll get easier, honey.  I promise.  Someday, you're gonna find
the perfect man for you.  Someone who'll bend over backwards for
you, no pun intended, someone who'll wait up until you come home
at night, someone who you can have children with, someone who'll
cook."  Jeremy grinned.
	"Heaven knows I need someone who can cook."  The two
giggled.
	"Come on, I'll make you some hot cocoa."

I know, this one is very....blah, I guess you could say.  Don't worry, 9
will be coming soon and is more interesting and longer too.  I hope to hear
from you : chords4@yahoo.com