Date: Sat, 27 Nov 2004 08:24:53 +1100 From: Daniel M <brisboi82@hotmail.com> Subject: Celebrity - Boy Bands - Degree my Love 09 DISCLAIMER: Over a year off and I still hate this part... alright here we go. If you are under 18 (or 21 depends on your local legal system) please avoid this as I accept no responsibilty should ya mama walk in and catch you chokin' the chicken to this. If you are offended by M/M concepts I think ya in the wrong place! Why not go to Disney.com? I claim no knowledge of the personal lives of mentioned celebrities within this fictional piece. I am not associated with Univeral records (or any other record company for that matter). No Goldfish were harmed in the making of this story! AUTHOR'S CHAT: There is so much I could have to chat about here, but then I guess that'd defeat the purpose of a chat wouldn't it. Hmm... it's still to early and I think I need more coffee. If I seem a little bit weirder than usual in writing this chapter I'm like really sorry but work has gotten to me and I'm like fully not with it. I'd do an evil laugh but still not enough coffee in my system. I've found it very evil having blood in my caffine system. Now, the other thing I want to tell everyone - there is NO GAY BIBLE! What self-respecting gay man needs a book to tell him to get on his knees. AUTHOR'S THANKS: Thank you to Nifty for allowing me to post on this wonderful site along with so many other talented writers. Thank you to Danny. You are my twin man...love you! Steve... you've been there for me through the hardest times and through the best times. You are an angel in disguise. I don't care what you do for a job... I still love you. Mandy, my saviour, confident, friend and everything else thrown in the mix. I love you girl! Now where the fuck's me coffee? Aunty Normy... an aunt with a penis (and a big one at that - shit did I say that?) where would I be without you? Probably still sane. Coffee or prozac for breakfast? Chrissy, I love you, take care of yourself for me, I'll be home in September. Lastly, my Little Dragon, you know who you are... love you eternally, just smile and I have a reason to wake up in the mornin. RECOMMENDED READ: My Everything - (boy bands) - charming story with Nick Lachey nad non-celeb called Sean. Very fast paced... just the way I like it. Stories that is... now go fetch your minds from the gutter people! Looking For Love In All The Right Place - (boy bands) - JC story (can't compare to JC Dreams) but is still fantastic read. Sorry Dreamy... had to say it. Love the story and the writer. Everytime - (boy bands) - Another 98 Degrees story with Nick Lachey in it. Waiting on an update -=hint hint=- Bodyguard - (beginings) - Just a lovely story to read. By the same author (Craigger) as Everytime. He's actually very talented y'know (read this as his cheque didn't bounce hehe). Reclaiming Austin - (College/Athletics) - Written by a fantastic writer. The story is unreal and would recommend it to anyone who wants a good drama filled with confusion and love. FEEDBACK: brisboi82@hotmail.com - messenger attatched to this email so feel free to add me. If you email me, can you please note in the subject that you are writing in relation to this story. The Story: Degree My Love 09 by Sun Child What an amazing time. What a family. How did the years go by? Now its only me. Tick-tock Tick-tock Tick-tock Tick-tock Tick-tock Tick-tock Tick-tock Tick-tock La, la, la, la, la, la, la Gwen Stefani screamed from the radio beside Mark's head as he stirred and glared at the clock that blinked innocently at him reminding him to get out of bed for work. Slithering out from between the covers he looked back as Ryan stirred gently beside him. Mark smiled and leant across kissing his boyfriend on the forehead. Grabbing some clothes he padded out the door into the bathroom to hide in the shower before having to contemplate dealing with the madness of work. Walking into the kitchen, Mark started the kettle for his morning coffee only to have two warms arms wrap themselves around him and to receive a kiss on the shoulder. "Morning RyRy." Mark smiled. "Morning." Mummbled Ryan into Mark's neck. As the kettle whistled Mark poured the coffee into two mugs handing one to Ryan. Ryan took it greatfully and looked at Mark smiling. "Thank you." Mark nodded his head and sat down at the bench. "So what are your plans for today?" Asked Mark. Ryan looked at the clock which was read seven in the morning. "Going to work in ten hours then working through until about midnight then coming home, making love to you for several hours and then going to sleep until tomorrow." He grinned. Mark nodded and sighed quietly. "Today is the instore appearance isn't it?" Asked Ryan, tiredly going over a topic dealt with so many times already. "Yeh. First time I will have seen them in three months. Last time they were in town and Lani was staying with us." Mark sighed again and Ryan smiled sadly at him and came over to kiss him. "You'll be fine baby. You'll see, it'll be great. There'll be a shop full of people and you won't have time to speak to him." Mark nodded his head. "I know, and speaking of the shop, I had better go or I'll be late." He downed the last of his coffee and kissed his boyfriend on the forehead before running out the door. Mark leant against the bench and counted to three on his fingers before he heard the door slam open again. "Phone on coffee table, keys and wallet on hallway table." Ryan called out. "Love you." He heard Mark call back as he ran out the door. Sipping his coffee, Ryan quietly wondered how long it would be before he ran out of his life. Signing off the last of an order Mark placed it on the fax machine and dialled the number hitting send. He waited for it to go through before putting it into the orders folder. He was distracted by a knocking at the door and turned to find security at the door. "The groups here and we need to get them in through the back. Just so you know." "That's fine, they can wait in the kitchen." Mark offered and turned back to his work. A further knock sounded at his door. "I told you they could go the kitchen." He called over his shoulder. "We were told but I just wanted to say hi anyways." Came Drew's voice. Mark turned in his chair and pulled his glasses off. "Drew, how are you?" Mark dropped his glasses on his desk and went to give Drew a hug. Drew looked down. "Since when have you needed glasses?" "Only when I'm tired." Mark said. "Today has been playing on your mind a bit I take it?" "No of course not." Snapped Mark. Drew arched an eyebrow. "No, not at all. Mark this is just as uneasy on Jeff y'know. I'm not here to preach his good word or anything, but he's been just as worked up about it." Mark sat back down his chair. "Ok, it's been playing absoloute havoc with my sleep for the past three weeks since I found out about it." "You had three weeks to prepare? Fuck, we only found out last week." Mark blinked at Drew. "You're normally a lot more organised then that. You usually know two months ahead what's happening." "Jeff used to make us know, now he leaves it to management. I would say he knows more than we do, but we haven't questioned it." Mark nodded. "Ok, well you go relax in the kitchen, I'll go check on things out front then either Rach or I will fetch you when everything is ready." Drew nodded and gave Mark a hug before heading to the kitchen. Mark stood up on the stage and spoke into the microphone. "Welcome to our store, and as you know, we have some very guests with us today. Could you please put your hands together for the fantastic gentlemen who have given their time to come and see you. Please welcome 98 Degrees." Cheers arose from the groupies that stood infront of the stage. Mark smiled fondly at the crowd and stepped down off the stage. The group gathered on the stage and waved at the fans. Mark stood back infront of the crowd and watched what was happening. They all sat down with mics in hand. Waving at the crowd Drew sand softly, with the other three joining in harmony. Jeff looked straight down at Mark then averted his eyes back out the crowd. They cut out of the harmony and the crowd looked at them confused. "Give me one just one night." Sang Nick. "Une Noche." Joined in the rest of the group with music starting behind them. Mark nodded his head in time with the music. The song closed and Jeff stood up and walked to the front of the stage. "You know, when we were here last I met someone very special to me. They still are, but I made a very big mistake, so this next song I'd like to dedicate to that person." Jeff looked briefly down at Mark again, who looked away. "I wrote a letter yesterday, Just trying to explain, Couldn't find the words to say, Because you are so far away, so far away." Sang Jeff quietly as Mark ducked under the rope and walked towards the back of the store. Rachel put her hand on Mark's shoulder as he walked by. Glancing at her, he gently touched her hand then kept walking back to his office. The other staff members looked at her questioningly only to have her dismiss them with a brief shake of her head. In his office, Mark sat down at his desk and slumped his head forwards. He looked up and saw a plain white envelope on his desk, his name written on it in Jeff's distinctive script. Picking it up he turned it over and opened the envelope. Unfolding the paper he started to read. Dear Mark These past days, weeks and months, I have spent each moment regretting my decision from that night. I wish that now I could turn back the hands of time and undo the foolish things that I did. I wish I could offer you some words to truly explain how lost I am here without you. My heart is heavy with regret and the knowledge that I hurt you. Though you once told me that I should never regret anything because it means I haven't learnt from it. I have learnt though. I've learnt what a wonderful feeling love is and how you should hold it so close. There are so many things within this world in which we take forgranted... love though, should not be one of them. There are so many things worse in this world than love. War, famine, pestilence. To take love forgranted is such a horrible thing. I know you may never be able to trust me again, believe me when I say that I can't bare the thought of you not in my life in some form. Whether it be as a friend of lover. You are amazing Mark. Your smile that shines so brightly in the darkly lit room. The heart that is so big and you wear it upon your sleeve. Always willing to help the poorman with your last five dollars. You openess to those who you don't know. The love you gave me and that I mistreated. I don't know if I've said it yet so I will say it now. I'm sorry. I hope that you can accept my apology and know that it means something. That it isn't just a word. I was a horrible person and you have every right to be angry with me, I just wish you could love me again. Even if just for one day. Love me like you once did. It would make me happier than you could tell, but that is entirely your decision. I've tried to tell you what's going on from my end, I only pray and hope that you can do the same with me. I miss you so much Mark. Love always Jeff. Mark sunk back in his chair and looked at the letter. He was so wrapped up in what he'd read, he jumped as he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. "Sorry, I didn't know how else to say it." Came a familiar voice to his ears. "Jeff, I don't know what to do or say. I still love you so much, but I am also with Ryan." Mark said without turning. "I know, I just... I don't know anymore. I just feel so lost now you're not here with me. I wanted you to come on tour and everything. I know I fucked up, but I love you so much..." "Jeff, don't get me wrong. I know how you feel about me, I feel the same about you, but I have other things to consider in my life. I don't know what I should do or say." "Say you love him and will go with him." Came a voice from behind both of them. Mark turned his chair and saw Ryan leaning in the doorway. Mark stood and walked towards his boyfriend. "Ry, what are you saying." "I'm saying that I was your perfect rebound and that the time has come to go back to the man you love." Mark hung his head and then looked back up at Ryan. "I love you though Ryan." Ryan shook his head. "You love me but aren't in love with me. You'll never love me like you love Jeff, nor as much. This time it's for you two to pull your shit together. You were made for each other. I can see that now. I've been speaking to Lani, she agrees with me. We both want to see you happy. That's with Jeff. " Ryan told him. Mark reached out and touched his arm and Ryan took a step back. "I said I know you need to be with him, I didn't say I wasn't hurting. I love you Mark and have for a long time, now's when I say I'm going out of town for a little while and ride off into the sunset like a bad country and western movie with six horses under the hood." "Will you be coming back?" Asked Mark quietly. "When it doesn't hurt as much." Ryan said simply. Mark nodded and wrapped Ryan in a hug. Ryan buried his face into Mark's shoulder. After a few minutes, Ryan took a step back and looked at them, his eyes moist with unshed tears. He waved slightly and walked out of the store. Mark stood there in shock and would have slipped to the ground if Jeff hadn't caught him. Jeff guided him gently to his seat and squatted down beside him. "Can I get you anything?" Jeff asked quietly. "Just leave me alone right now." Mark said looking down and away twisting his chair back to face his desk. Jeff tried to turn the chair again. "Haven't you done enough already?" Snarled Mark. Jeff rocked back on his haunches, quiet for a moment then stood up. "You know my cell number, you can call when you're ready." Jeff said quietly then walked out the door. The ringing of the phone stirred Jeff in his sleep. He picked it up groggily and put it to his ear. "Hello... Jesus Christ Mark, it's 3 in the morning... It's been nearly eight months since I told you to ca... are you drunk?... Alright, I'll see when I can get into town next and let you know... ok... yep... bye." Jeff hung up the phone and feel backwards onto the bed, his hand dropping over his eyes. There was a knock at the door. Jeff stood up and walked over, opening the door. Standing there with flowers in hand was Nathan. Groaning on the inside Jeff dropped his head. "Nathan, how can I help you?" "I finally got time off to come and see you. You aren't excited?" Jeff smiled faintly. "I would be if I knew it wouldn't be a mistake this time around again." Nathan shook his head with disgust. "Still hung up on a little boy from nearly 12 months ago." Jeff's face darkened. Shoving the flowers into Jeff's chest he turned to start walking away. "This won't be over Jeffrey Timmons. Not by a long shot." Jeff shook his head and closed the door. Mark swayed slightly on the edge of the dancefloor as Jeff walked up beside him and touched him lightly on the shoulder. "Hey, I didn't think you'd come." Mark said shyly. "After a phone call at three in the morning a month ago, you think I'd miss it?" Jeff asked. "Let's get our masks and party. Haloween just isn't right without the masks. Jeff shuddered as he remember the haloween the year prior. It'd cost him more dearly than just a few drinks and headache the next morning. It'd cost him Mark. He could still see the expressionless silver mask with yellow tribal designs that Nathan had been wearing. Mark nudged him and pulled down his mask and stepped onto the dancefloor. As they started to grind on the dancefloor, Jeff looked up and saw someone watching him. The same mask as... no, it wasn't? He looked again and they were gone. Then there it was again at his left. His right. What the hell was going on? Jeff started to feel panicked. "Help me, the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself, I want to fuck you like an animal, I want to feel you from the inside, I want to fuck you like an animal, my whole exisentce is gone, you bring me closer to god." Sang a voice in Jeff's ear that grabbed his ass. Jeff spun around but there was no one there. Mark looked at Jeff confused. "You ok?" Jeff turned around. He lifted his mask and nodded his head. "I'm fine, just need to sit down." Mark's face clouded in cofusion and walked off the dancefloor. They sat together and were about to go and get drinks when a waitress arrived with drinks in hand. "The guy at the bar ordered these for you. Hope you enjoy." Jeff twisted around. "Which one?" "Silver mask, yellow tribal design." Jeff leapt away like he's been stung. Mark looked at Jeff, confused. "What's going on Jeff?" "It's Nathan, he's stalking me now. This is fucked." Jeff started to run. Mark was straight after him. "Come on, my place." Jeff stopped. "What?" "You think I'm gonna let you do this on your own?" Mark said, taking his hand and leading him out of the club. As they approached the car they heard someone calling Jeff's name and turned. A tall and attrctive, dark haired man approached and Jeff groaned audibly causing Mark's attention to go to Jeff. "I saw you leave without saying goodbye, that was very rude of you y'know." Chided the stranger lightly. Mark raised an eyebrow at Jeff. "And who would this little stud be Jeffrey?" "Mark, meet Nathan, Nathan this is Mark." Mark's eyes narrowed. It wasn't missed by Nathan who laughed. "Ah so you've heard of me?" Smiled Nathan. "So has half the medical board with the amount of infections you carry." "Now now, no need to be hateful." Scolded Nathan. "I'm not being hateful, I'll leave that to your surgeon." Sneered Mark. "Quite a mouth on it. Perhaps I should give it something to keep it quiet." Nathan suggested grabbing at his crotch. "Oh, looks impressive." Said Mark. Five seconds later he brought his foot straight up into Nathan's groin. "Don't try it with me cunt." Spat Mark opening his car door. Jeff stood there shocked. Climbing out of the car, Mark smacked the roof of the car. "Alma, turn your pack on, we're going." They both climbed in and drove off. PUlling up outside Mark's house Jeff looked at him. "You didn't have to bring me here y'know." "It's ok, it's kinda lonely here at times." Mark admitted. Jeff raised an eyebrow and got out of the car. Walking into the house, Jeff looked around. "This place looks more empty. There's stuff missing." "Yeh, Ry moved out after we broke up. I haven't heard from him in about two months." Mark finally said. Jeff sighed and opened his arms which Mark melted into. "So is that why you called me?" "No, I called you because I missed you and realised we need to talk because I don't want to do life alone without at least being friends with you." Jeff looked away and Mark felt his heart sink. "I love you Mark." Jeff finally said and Mark felt he was going to faint. Jeff leant down to kiss Mark and as their lips met, the front door slammed open with profanity flying through. "I said Ryan was gone, not Anita as well." Mark smiled. Jeff nodded and pulled Mark close. "I've missed you so much. I love you, can we try again?" Mark pulled Jeff down and kissed him. "I was so hoping you'd ask that." Mark said smirking as he dragged Jeff down towards his room. -- Well yeh they're back together, but don't think the dramas will stop... Nathan... how instrumental do I make him now? For those who dont get the Alma reference, watch Sister Act 1 & 2. Songs used, tho briefly where "What You Waiting For?" Gwen Stefani, "Give Me Just One Night (Une Noche)" and "Yesterdays Letter" by 98 Degrees and "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails. Feedback - brisboi82@hotmail.com Cheers, SC xxx