Date: Fri, 30 Jun 2000 17:10:49 EDT
From: MyKaHoLLy@aol.com
Subject: Dirty Little Secrets 4

Author's Note: Hi y'all! I hope you all like this chapter. I got a
co-author. Yay! Um, if you know that you're allergic to something, don't
use it. You will not like what it can do to your skin. Anyways, I don't
know when the next chapter will be out. I'm waiting for it to be finished.
E-mail me! I need feedback! Pweez! If you read this, e-mail me. All of you
that read this (I know there has to be at least one) e-mail me.

If you have the chance to see NSync in concert. Go for it. They are
awesome! They shake their booties alot on this tour and Lance has blue
hair!!!!

Disclaimer: NSync is not gay. This is not real. If you are under 18 or
offended by homosexual material, leave.

Oh yeah, the song is "Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know" by Britney Spears.
It's on the Oop...I did it again CD.

NOW ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!!

* * *

Justin stepped off the plane and looked around for his mother. He spotted
her sitting in a very uncomfortable plastic chair, reading a book. "Mom!"
he called out. He hadn't seen his mom in so long. He missed her so much.

Lynn stood from her chair and rushed over to greet her son. She wrapped her
arms around her son's 6 foot frame. "How was your trip sweetie?" she asked
when she pulled away from the embrace.

"It was alright. I slept through it." he replied. He looked at JC and
smiled brightly at his brand new boyfriend. Then his gaze turned to
Lance. His eyes locked with Lance's and he just stared into those
magnificent green eyes. They were the most beautiful thing he had ever
seen. They were definetly Lance's best feature. After what seemed like
forever he turned his attention back to JC. "Mom, can Josh stay with us?
Please? It's only 'till the tour resumes." Justin begged.

"Of course he can stay! He's like my other son. I wouldn't dare let him
stay in a hotel." Lynn said, smiling. It was true. JC was like a son to
her. He was her son's best friend. He had probably spent more time at their
home than he had at his own.

"Josh!" Justin yelled, dropping his bookbag to the floor and running to his
lover. "Mom said you can stay!" he said, happily. He had a huge smile on
his face.

JC smiled back at Justin. "Cool." he said, lifelessly.

Justin's face dropped. 'Could he be any less enthusiastic?' he thought
sarcastically. He turned and walked away from JC and back towards his mom.

Lynn noticed the frown on Justin's face immediately. She really didn't want
to press the issue but it was her job as a mother to find out what was
going on with her son. "Justin, what's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing." Justin said flatly. He didn't want to explain this to his
mother. He didn't ever want to explain to his mother that he was gay. It
was best if she didn't know. That way she couldn't hate him for it. And he
knew she would. She would hate him more than anything. She was very
religious and very against homosexuals.

"Are you sure?" Lynn asked, worried about her son.

"Yes, I'm sure! Can we go now?" he said almost angrily. He looked out the
corner of his eye and saw a girl toucing JC's arm and giggling. He saw her
scribble something on JC's hand and JC scribbled something on her hand.

"Sure hun. Go get JC and we'll go to the baggage claim and get your
luggage." Lynn said.

Justin walked back over to JC. "Josh, we're leaving now. Tell your friend
goodbye." Justin said, staring at the girl that had been flirting with his
man.

"Bye Nicole," JC said as Justin dragged him away.

Lynn followed the two boys to the monorail that would take them to the
baggage claim. She was carrying Justin's backpack.

The three of them stepped onto the monorail car and Justin let go of JC. He
took a seat in the back of the car and glared at JC. He was so upset that
his eyes were filling with tears. He was frustrated. 'Why is this so hard?
I thought that once we were together, it would be easy. He would love me
just as much as I love him and he wouldn't be flirting with anyone but
me. He wouldn't be thinking of anyone but me. We'd be happy and we'd be in
love. But then Lance comes along and I can't resist him and then JC is
flirting with some girl.' "I hate this!" he said not realizing he had said
it out loud.

Lynn sat down beside her son. "What do you hate?" she asked.

"Nothing, mom. Nevermind." he said.

The car stopped and the doors opened. Justin quickly got out of the car and
headed towards the baggage claim. He sat down on the floor and waited for
his stuff. He saw a young girl around 13 sitting nearby reading Teen
People. He saw his face on the cover of the magazine and pulled his hat
over his face. He reached up and grabbed JC's hand and pulled him down to
the floor. "That girl over there is a fan." he whispered. He looked up and
saw Lance and Joey approaching, followed by Chris and his girlfriend,
Sarah.

The girl with the magazine looked up and saw the five guys. She looked back
at her magazine and let out a squeal. "Oh my God!"

That got the attention of everyone.

The bodyguards rushed over to the guys, surrounding them.

Justin jumped up from his seat on the floor. "I think we should be getting
out of here now." he suggested.

The guys hurried out of the airport, telling Dre to stay behind and get
their stuff. They all headed to their rides and took off out of there.

"Man that was close!" Justin said, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Yea we were almost mobbed in there!" JC agreed.

"Hey Mom, turn on the radio." Justin said.

Lynn turned on the radio and Britney Spears' "Don't Let Me Be The Last To
Know" came pouring through the speakers.

***

My friends say you're so into me
And that you need me desperately
They say you say we're so complete

But I need to hear it straight from you
If you want me to believe it's true
I've been waiting for so long it hurts
I wanna hear you say the words, please

Don't, don't let me be the last to know
Don't hold back, just let it go
I need to hear you say
You need me all the way
Oh, if you love me so
Don't let me be the last to know

Ooh

Your body language says so much
Yeah, I feel it in the way you touch
But 'til you say the words
It's not enough
C'mon and tell me you in love, please

Don't, don't let me be the last to know
Don't hold back, just let it go
I need to hear you say
You need me all the way
Oh, if you love me so
Don't let me be the last to know

C'mon baby, c'mon darling ooh yeah
C'mon, let me be the one
C'mon now, oh yeah

I need to hear you say
You love me all the way
And I don't wanna wait another day
I wanna feel the way you feel
Oh, c'mon

Don't, just let me be the one
Don't hold back, just let it go
I need to hear you say
You need all the way
So...baby, if you love me
Don't let me be the last to know

***

Justin stared at JC. That song had just summed up all his feelings in less
than 4 minutes. He wanted so much for JC to just say "I love you". That
would make him the happiest man in the world.

JC caught Justin's stare and quickly looked away.

Justin's strength was quickly dissolving. Tears were flooding his
eyes. 'No! I am not gonna get all upset over this! I am not gonna cry just
because he doesn't love me!' he yelled silently at himself.

The car pulled into the driveway and Justin quickly jumped out of the car
and ran into the house, slamming the door behind him. He ran up the stairs
and flopped down on his bed, burying his face in a pillow and letting the
tears flow. His body shook with the sobs. After a few minutes, he calmed
down. He wiped his eyes and sighed. "That was stupid." he said to himself
as he walked out of his room. He climbed down the stairs and saw JC sitting
on the couch and watching TV. He walked past him into the kitchen and
grabbed a peach. He walked back into the den and sat down next to
JC. "Where's Mom?" he asked.

"She went to the mall." JC said, not turning his attention from the TV.

Justin nodded and took a bite of the peach. Juice trickled down his
chin. He went to wipe his face but JC grabbed his arm.

"I wanted to appologize for earlier," he said and started licking the peach
juice off Justin's face. He licked Justin's lips and kissed them gently.

"Josh, I love you." Justin said, quickly. He let out a soft laugh and
kissed JC's lips.

JC just smiled weakly and sat back on the couch.

Justin looked at JC and sighed. He stood up from the couch and walked out
the door leading to the pool. He pulled off his jeans and his T-shirt and
sat on the diving board dangling his feet in the cool water. 'Why didn't he
say anything?

* * *

Okay, E-mail me at:

			     mykaholly@aol.com
				   -or-
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			  Peace and Hair Grease!
				MyKa HoLLy