Date: Sat, 09 Oct 1999 02:46:51 GMT
From: Bear <barrack79@hotmail.com>
Subject: "Don't Wanna Lose"

Disclaimer: This story is fiction and does not represent the real people
that might be mentioned here.  If you are under 18 or if it is illegal to
read this in the country where you live, the city where you are, etc. then
don't.  Again, this is just some fantasy I concocted in my head so don't
get insulted.  Also, the songs I use in my story are from the Backstreet
Boys.

Send Comments bad or good to barrack79@hotmail.com Later. Hope you enjoy.

Don't Wanna Lose: Chapter 1
Written by: "Bear"
	
	Kevin was walking down the hall of the Palmer House Hilton hotel.
He was wearing a tight brown long sleeve Armani shirt and black fitting
pants.  As he reached Nick's hotel room he lightly knocked on the door.  He
waited for a few seconds but received no reply.  Kevin knocked again but
this time calling for his band mate, "Nick.Nick, open up."  He was about to
knock again but heard footsteps approaching the door.  As soon as the door
opened Kevin started to speak, "Nick, dinner is in.What!? You're not even
dressed yet.  We have to be downstairs in ten minutes."
	Nick just turned away from Kevin and headed back into the room.
Kevin knew that there was something wrong and followed Nick inside closing
the door behind him.  Nick went back to lie on the bed facing away from
Kevin.  Kevin carefully followed Nick looking about the room.  He was
surprised that the room wasn't a mess.  Then, Kevin saw Nick's luggage
still untouched.  He instantly knew there was something wrong.  If Nick was
okay his room would have been a total wreck and his Playstation would have
been set-up.  Kevin approached Nick and sat on the edge of the bed.  Kevin
took a moment then, "So, are you just going to lie down there all night or
tell me what's wrong?"
	Nick just groaned and kept his eyes away from Kevin.  "I'm just not
up to it tonight.  Why don't you guys just go to dinner without me."
	"You, not hungry?  Now, I know there's something wrong."  Kevin
said with a giggle.
	Nick didn't laugh, as Kevin would have hoped.  Nick just sat
quietly thinking if he should tell Kevin.  Kevin then reached for Nick's
face and made the young man look at him.  "You know Nick, you can tell me
anything.  Who else are you going to go to when you have problems, huh?
Now, tell daddy what's wrong?" Kevin said laughing at himself for letting
the nickname get to him.
	Nick just smiled and instantly sat up and gave Kevin a hug.  Kevin
let Nick hug him for awhile before lightly pushing Nick away.  "Okay, okay.
Now tell me what's wrong before we miss dinner."
	Nick started to look away again but Kevin instantly took his face
and made him look at his direction.  Kevin could see the tears start to
form in Nick's eyes.  "Kevin."  Nick started with tears already falling
down his face, "I love him so much and he doesn't even care.  I just don't
know what to do.  He's with her all the time and I feel so stupid for
feeling the way I do and it's just ugh.  Ugh!  You know.  And.and."
	"Okay, wait." Kevin interrupted, "Too much information at one
time.You're talking about Brian, right?"
	Nick nodded.
	"You still love him, right?"
	Nick nodded slowly and then looked straight at Kevin's eyes.  "And
he's with her.  He's with her, now.  And it's killing me, Kev. It's killing
me." Nick said almost yelling and at this point utterly balling his eyes
out.  Kevin instantly gave Nick an embrace again holding him as tight as he
can.
	Kevin tried to find the suitable words to comfort Nick.  "Nick," he
said very quietly, "Nick, its going to be okay.  You'll get over Brian and
you'll move on."
	Nick pulled away harshly looking terrified at what Kevin just said,
"No, I can't.  It's just that Kevin.  I don't know if I can.  I don't know
if I want to.  He means so much to me."
	"Nick, you know you guys tried to make it more than a friendship
and it tore everyone apart even your own relationship as friends suffered.
You guys are no good as lovers but are the best of friends."
	"But.but." Nick tried to interrupt but couldn't find the fighting
words against Kevin's argument.
	"But what, Nick?  You know I'm right."
	"Yeah, but I still love him Kevin.  He means the world to me."
	"You're important in his life too and you know that.  It's just
that it can never be more than friends.  He's moved on and you have to do
it too."
	"Sometimes, I just wish.hope that it will come back to the way it
use to be."
	Kevin instantly had flashbacks of Nick and Brian's relationship.
He felt a shudder run through his whole body.  He looked straight into
Nick's eyes and asked him very cautiously, "Do you really want to go back
to how it use to be?  Do you remember how it was, Nick?  Would you really
want it to be that way again?
	Nick wiped the tears off his face and quietly thought for a second
before almost whispering his answer, "It.it wasn't all that bad, Kevin, it
was just the times he."
	"Nick, it was that bad.  You guys are great as friends but as worst
as lovers.  I don't think I have to remind you of what happened back then
and I don't think you want to remember."
	Nick felt really sad and felt a chill all over his body.  "It's
just that I feel like I'm losing him, losing a part of me."
	"You guys will always be friends and you'll always have him
somewhere in your heart but, Nick, you have to move on."
	"I don't know if I can."
	"Well, when you know you can then you'll do it but until you are
still unsure you'll never do."
	"I'll try.  I guess."
	Kevin looked very sternly at Nick, "Don't even try Nick if you're
unsure because it will cause you more pain.  Just do it when you know you
are ready to."
	Nick nodded and look down for a second, "So, do I have to still go
to dinner with that tramp."  Kevin sighed and finally gave up, "Okay, just
this once but it will never happen again, okay?"  Nick suddenly gave Kevin
a quick glance and said, "Thanks" before staring at the bed once again.  He
took a careful moment before he made his next move.  "Thanks, Kev for you
know, being there."  Nick said almost whispering.  Kevin took Nick's face
and made him look straight at him.  "I'll always be here for you.  For
whatever you need, okay?"  Nick just nodded and carefully approached
Kevin's face before lightly giving him a kiss on the lips.  It started as a
little kiss but soon grew strength and tension and lust.  They kissed with
need and as Nick felt Kevin's tongue start to probe his mouth he suddenly
backed away. He stared at Kevin who still had his eyes shut.  Nick couldn't
help but laugh at himself and at Kevin.
	Kevin took a moment to recollect himself and get the lingering
thought of the kiss out of his mind before looking straight at Nick,
"What.what was that for?"  Kevin said kind of angry.
	"A little thank you for helping me."
	"Well, thanks a lot for making this whole thing feel uncomfortable
for me."  Kevin answers sarcastically.
	"Hey, I'm not the one who kissed back and let his tongue out of his
mouth."
	"Well, that's because I haven't gotten laid in months."  Kevin said
exasperated.
	Nick inched closer to Kevin and put his arms around Kevin's neck
giggling.  "Well, you know Kevin I'm always here to help you.  Who else are
you going to go to for your problems?"  Nick said trying to be very
seductive.
	"Oh." Kevin said staring right into Nick's eyes.  He lightly
started to push Nick back onto the bed and crawled on top of the blond
adonis.  As Kevin's body pinned Nick's down he started to grind their
crotches together.  Then, all of a sudden Kevin grabbed both of Nick's
hands from his neck and pinned them on each side of his head.  Kevin then
became more aggressive with his grinding and soon Nick had his eyes shut
and moaning.  As Kevin started to feel Nick's member aching for freedom he
suddenly stopped, looking straight down at the blond boy with ecstasy
written all over his face.
	Nick slowly opened his eyes trying to find out what cause Kevin to
stop.  Kevin had a smile on his face, "You know what Nick?  You need to get
some sleep because you're getting delusional."  Kevin said before jumping
out of the bed and heading for the door.
	Nick looked down at his groin feeling his penis wanting more.
"Thanks a lot Kevin for making me all hard now!"
	Kevin just laugh and said, "Glad I could help" before leaving the
room.
	After Kevin left, Nick knew he had to relieve himself.  `Thanks,
Kevin now I have to take care of this.' He started to unzip his pants and
pull his jeans and boxers down to his knees.  His penis sprang from its
freedom trying to reach its full size.  Nick started to feel his gorgeous
tool lightly rubbing his shaft.  He then used his left hand started to go
under his sports shirt and feel his hard rock abs.  He proceeded higher and
felt his nicely shaped pecks.  He was making himself as horny as ever.  His
penis reach its full nine inches and he started to slowly stroke himself
over and over thinking of his love.  "Oh. oh.Bri.Frick.yeah, just like
that.Yeah baby.that's it."  Thoughts of him and Brian making love soon had
Nick going wild and crazy beating his member as fast and as hard as he
could.  He knew he couldn't hold out any longer.  "Ah. Geez, I'm gonna. I'm
gonna.Ahhh yeah."  Nick's penis throbbed as his juices flew over his head
then more and more came.  He had pure ecstasy written on his face.
	He slowly got his breathing back and got up from the bed to clean
himself up.  He was feeling tired and sleepy from his solo session so he
decided to put some music on so he can take a nap.  He slowly got back into
bed as the song started to play.

He started to hear Brian's voice and a smile crept upon his face.

	You are my fire
The one desire
Believe when I say
I want it that way

As his own voice filled his hotel room his eyes started to water.  He knew what he 
was saying was true.

But we are two worlds apart
Can't reach to your heart
When you say
That I want it that way

Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way

Nick soon tried to shut out the music and just cried himself to asleep.