Date: Mon, 03 Jan 2000 01:22:56 GMT
From: Bear <barrack79@hotmail.com>
Subject: Don't Wanna Lose 12-13  Boybands

Disclaimer: This story is fiction and does not represent the real people
that might be mentioned here.  If you are under 18 or if it is illegal to
read this in the country where you live, the city where you are, etc. then
don't.  Again, this is just some fantasy I concocted in my head so don't
get insulted.

Author's Note: Hey peeps.  We're all still here and the world hasn't blown
up.  Wow, that was a load off.  Well, here's the next installment in my
series.  Sorry if took some time to get out.  I was just working and got a
little lazy.  Anyways, I hope to enjoy it.  Plus, I want to give a really
sweet shout out to my writer-friend `Z' who writes `I Just Wanna Be With U'
so check out her story too.  I hope everyone had a nice Holiday and an
awesome New Year's so without further ado...here it is.


Chapter 12: Don't Wanna Lose
Written by: "Bear"

	Two very good-looking boys stepped out of a hotel elevator on their
floor.  One had golden blond locks while the other had brown curly hair.
They were almost the same height, the blond boy just a little bit taller.
Both their hearts were still racing but their bodies didn't show it.  They
were both a little bit sweaty with the brown haired youth carrying a
basketball.
	"Good game, Nick." The brown-haired youth commented.
	"Yeah, you say that now.  It's just because I didn't win."
	"Oh, you mean you lost." Justin said with a smirk.
	"No, I didn't say that.  I said I didn't win.  Don't get the two
confused."
  Nick said pointing his finger at Justin while they were still walking
down the hall.
	Justin just shook his head at Nick.  "You don't like losing much do
you?"
	"No, I don't like not winning."  Nick said looking at Justin
intensely.  "Now, come on let's play a game where I can kick your ass.  I
got some new games for my Playstation."
	"Okay, okay.  Let me just get change then I'll be right over."
Justin said, as he was about to turn to his room.
	"No, let's play now.  We can change later." Nick said pulling
Justin with him towards his room.
	Justin meanwhile just gave in and let Nick lead him.  Nick was
pulling his keycard out when a thought popped into Justin's mind.  "Hey,
Nick." Justin said while Nick was trying to open the door.  "How do you
think Little Howie is doing?"
	Nick opened the door and then turn around to look at Justin with a
grin all over his face.  "I don't know but I hope he didn't get out of the
room."
	Justin looked at Nick with fear.  "Wha...What are we gonna do?"
	"Calm down Justin, we'll think of something."
	"Why does it seem like we always get in trouble when we do these
things and this time isn't gonna be any different."
	"Because..." Nick's sentence was suddenly interrupted with a loud
scream down the hall.  "Speaking of the devil.  Come on let's see."  Nick
said as he slammed his door close again and ran down the hall with Justin
right at his heels.

					++++++++++++

	Howie ran out of his room in his striped blue/red boxers quickly
slamming the door and standing with his back at the opposite wall.  His
eyes were fixated at his room's door as his heart was running a mile a
minute.  He had a look of pure terror in his face and was frozen where he
was.
	Kevin was the first one to the scene since his room was the
closest.  He looked at his friend and his concern grew at what may have
happened.  He stepped in front of Howie trying to make him focus his eyes.
"Howie.  Howie.  What happened?"  Howie just stared at Kevin blankly as if
the question didn't register.
	JC soon came to the two Backstreet Boys.  He saw Kevin trying to
get Howie's attention but he was making no progress.  JC stepped to Kevin
and asked him what happened but Kevin didn't reply and kept his attention
at Howie.  "Howie, what happened?" Kevin asked again this time shaking his
friend.
	Howie, finally out of his momentary lapse, finally got Kevin's
question.  "There... there's a big...ass...huge snake in my room... in my
bed."
	"What!?" JC yelled in shock.
	Lance came running down the hall trying to figure out what the
commotion was all about.  "What's the screaming about?"
	JC still in shock just stared at Lance.  Kevin turned to face Lance
and answered.  "There's a snake in Howie's room."
	"A big one...in my bed."  Howie answered with his voice shaking.
"I was about to take a nap when I felt something slippery moving around.
Then when I took a look I saw this freakin' snake."
	Justin and Nick came stumbling down the hall to the group of guys.
They both had a smug look on their face.  They came up to them and Justin
asked, "What's going on?"
	"There's a snake in Howie's bed." Kevin answered plainly.
	"Really?" Nick asked innocently.
	"Yeah." Howie said with his head nodding vehemently.
	"So what are we going to do?" asked JC.
	"Somebody should go in there and get it out." Kevin answered as he
looked at the guys.
	"Nah uh.  I'm not going back in there."  Howie replied quickly.
	"Don't look at me.  How about if it's poisonous?" said JC.
	"How about you Lance?" Kevin asked.
	"Why me?" Lance asked out of spite.
	"Well, you're from Lousiana, you probably deal with these stuff all
the time."
	"Excuse me but no." Lance replied before storming away from the
scene.
	"Lance...Lance." Kevin tried to get Lance's attention.  "What's his
problem?"
	JC looked at Kevin sheepishly.  "He's from Mississippi."
	"Well, he could have said something instead of storming away."
Kevin saw Lance walk into his room and slam the door.  He then returned his
attention back to Howie's predicament.
	"I'll go in." Nick said abruptly, grabbing everyone's attention.
	"Nick, n..." before anyone could object Nick was already in Howie's
room with the door closed.
	"God, can he be more..." Kevin said not finishing the sentence.
"Okay, someone's got to go in there and get him out."  Kevin said looking
at Howie and JC who were backing away and shaking their heads.
	"I will." Justin volunteered before running into the room and
closing the door immediately.
	"Damn it!  Why the hell are those two like the sun and the moon?"
Kevin said getting irritated.  "They have to chase each other wherever the
other is."
	Then all of a sudden they heard someone yell out.  "Nick, watch
out!"
	"Ohhhhhh, it bit me.  Justin, help!" Nick cried out in pain.
	The three guys Kevin, Howie, and JC just stared at each other in
shock before running into the room after their bandmates.
	When they walked in they saw Nick and Justin sitting next to each
other on the bed staring at them with wide grins.  Kevin, Howie, and JC
examined the two carefully before seeing a green snake on Nick's shoulders.
Justin and Nick soon started to crack up as they saw their friends' faces.
	"You assholes." Howie shouted at them.
	The two youngsters tried to answer but they couldn't stop their
laughing.  "Damn it guys.  I thought you were hurt." Kevin yelled.
	The two of them finally got their composure back and Nick answered,
"Sorry, guys.  It was just a joke."  Nick then stood and walked up to
Kevin.  "Here.
  He's really harmless." Nick said trying to push the snake to Kevin.
	Kevin stepped back quickly.  "No way.  I hate snakes."
	Nick then walked up to Howie and did the same thing.  "Get that
away from me.  You come any closer and I'll punch your lights out."
	"Oh, come on D.  He's so cute and we named him after you.  Little
Howie."  Nick said making the snake look into his face.
	"No way.  Now get out of my room."
	"How about you JC?  Wanna play with Little D?"  JC instinctively
stepped back and nodded his head no.  "Oh come on.  How about I just throw
him to you?"  Nick said as he gesture as if he was really going to throw it
in JC's direction.  JC just jumped and stood behind Kevin and Howie.  Nick
giggled at JC's reaction while Justin just laughed.  JC soon heard his
friend's reaction and stared at Justin intensely.
	"Okay, then if you guys don't wanna play now.  I'll just leave him
in the bus and we can play later." Nick said raising his eyebrows.
	"Nah uh.  No way Nick.  That thing is not traveling with us."
Howie said sternly.
	"Kevin tell him."
	"Sorry Nick.  That thing will have to go."
	"Kevy...come on.  It will be fun and plus it doesn't make a lot of
noise."  Nick said with a pout.
	"No Nick."
	Nick pouted more before turning back to look at Justin.  "That's
okay.  I thought you guys wouldn't be up to it so Justin is gonna take him
in their bus."  Nick said eyeing JC.
	"No Curly.  Not happening." JC yelled stepping out from behind
Kevin and Howie.
	Justin gave a short laugh before shrugging his shoulders.  "Sorry,
Nick.  Plus it might fight with Busta."
	Nick then made the snake look at his face again.  "Sorry buddy.  I
guess no one wants you here.  I guess it's back to the pet shop for you."
Nick said stepping towards the door while Kevin, Howie, and JC sidestepped
the two.  He gave out a small snicker.
	"Guys, he's harmless."  Nick just shook his head at them and looked
back towards Justin.
	"Wanna come?"  Justin just nodded his head before getting up from
the bed.
	"Come on let's go return this little puppy." Nick said jokingly.

					++++++++++++++++

	Kevin got out his bathroom wearing a white fluffy bathrobe provided
by the hotel.  It wasn't that late but he knew that tomorrow was going to
be a long day and he wanted to catch up on some sleep.  He came up to his
bed when a picture popped into his head.  He slowly grabbed the top of the
covers before flinging it open and taking a step back.  He gave out a small
sigh of relief as he saw that there was nothing waiting for him in his bed.
He knew it was unlikely for Nick to put a snake in his bed too but not out
of his league also.  Nick has never used the same trick twice as far as he
knew.  Sometimes, he wonders just where Nick gets all his ideas from.
	Kevin was about to untie his robe when a light knock came from his
door.  He walked up to it and took a look through the peephole.  It was
Nick.  Kevin gave a little sigh before he opened it.  "Hi." Nick said.
	"Hi Nick.  What's up?"
	"Um...can I come in."  Kevin nodded before stepping aside to let
Nick walk in.  He closed the door as soon as Nick came in.
	Nick walked up to Kevin's bed and sat on it waiting for Kevin.
Nick was wearing black pants with a matching jacket and a maroon shirt
under.  "You look nice.  Going out?"  Kevin asked.
	Nick looked at himself before answering Kevin's question.  He gave
a little laugh.  "Oh no.  I just got back."  Nick said before returning his
attention on Kevin.
	Kevin sat next to him fixing his robe during the process.  "So?
What made you stop by, huh?"
	Nick stared at Kevin and smirked.  "Still sleeping in the nude I
see."  Nick said tugging on Kevin's robe a bit.
	Kevin returned the smile.  "Yeah, sleeping with clothes are just
uncomfortable."
	"I can't say that I agree."
	Kevin nudged the youngster.  "So talk."
	Nick took a moment and then looked away from Kevin.  "Me and Justin
just had dinner."
	Kevin stood up from the bed and slowly slid into a lying position
on it.  "If all you want to do is share then you can tell me all about it
as I fall asleep."  Kevin said smiling.
	Nick looked up to the head of the bed where Kevin was now.  Nick
slowly crawled up to Kevin and laid next to him with his head on Kevin's
chest.  He wrapped his arms around Kevin for comfort before talking again.
Kevin did the same, rubbing Nick's back.  "I think I'm falling for him
Kevin."  Kevin just nodded and continued rubbing Nick's back knowing it was
just a statement that needed no add-on.  "We spend all this time together
and at first I got scared.  Then I told myself that being his friend was
enough and I could live with that.  But sometimes I just want more."
	"Is that why you ignored him for awhile."
	Nick nodded his head on Kevin's chest.  "I thought if I didn't see
him or talk to him that I would get over it.  Get over this feeling."
	"And Brian?"
	"I guess I just tried too hard.  I fooled myself."
	"Are you okay with Brian?"
	"He's the same...I guess.  Always there but not completely."
	"I'm sorry about him."
	"No, I should have learned my lesson.  This time I just let myself
get hit in the face with it one more time."
	"So what about Justin?"
	"I don't know."
	"Is he...?"
	"No...I don't know."  Nick said clutching onto Kevin more tightly.
	"And."
	"What should I do Kevin?" Nick said bringing his head up to look
into Kevin's face.
	Kevin paused and looked into Nick.  The light glistened off the
moisture that was building in Nick's eyes.  It was neither sad nor happy
but instead it was confusion and fear.  It was simply looking for answer.
"Are you gonna tell him?"
	Nick took his gaze from Kevin and again put his head down on his
chest.  "I don't know if I should.  What if he doesn't accept me?  What if
he doesn't ever talk to me?  What if he doesn't want to be my friend?"
	Kevin held onto Nick tighter as he felt him start to shake.  Nick's
eyes started to cry as the robe was soaked with his sorrow.  "I think
you've made up your mind already.  You just have to be ready for the
consequences.  I'm not going to lie to you and say everything's gonna turn
out great.  Nobody knows until it finally happens."
	Nick kept on crying but slowly it became a whimper as his tension
was released onto Kevin's robe.  Kevin then felt Nick loosen his grip on
him and when he looked at Nick, the blond was slowly falling to slumber.

				+++++++++++++++++++++

	Justin's sleep was interrupted by the ringing of the telephone.  He
carelessly grabbed the receiver and said hello.  "Mr. Timblerlake, this is
your morning wake up call."
	Justin mumbled, "Thank you."  He put the phone back in its place
and laid his head back down on the pillow.  He looked over at the clock.
It was six o'clock in the morning.  He groaned, as he knew it was too early
to wake up, but also knew that what he was going to do was going to be fun.
The picture of Nick talking to him about his plan got Justin smiling and
all revved up.  He jumped out of bed and headed for the bathroom.
	About an hour later Justin came out of his room and walk to the
door across from his.  He knocked it on lightly expecting Nick to be up
already.  Justin waited for awhile but then knocked again but more loudly
this time.  He heard someone groan from the other side and some scuffling.
Justin stood in front of the door waiting for Nick to come out but what he
saw kind of confused him.
	"What?" the guy said still partly sleep.
	"Um..." Justin said looking around to see if he went to the wrong
room or something but he didn't.  "Nick?"  Justin said.  He was trying to
see if Nick was in there but somewhere between his brain and his mouth,
that was the only word that came out.
	"Huh?" the guy said rubbing his eyes.  He looked up to see Justin
all dressed up in some jogging pants and a basketball jersey.
	"Um...Nick...room?"  Justin said but failing miserably in making
complete sentences.
	The guys shook his head trying to get the sleep out of his system.
He looked at Justin who was all confused and flustered.  "Justin, Nick's
not here."
	"Huh." Still failing.
	"He's in my room."
	"But.  How?"
	"It's a long story.  He fell asleep in there so I came here."
	Justin took a moment trying to absorb and compose himself.  "Okay,
I guess I'll go to his room.  I mean your room.  Um...yeah."  Justin said
turning away.
	"Hey wait." Kevin said trying to get Justin before he left.  "Can I
talk to you for a sec?"
	Justin walked backed to the door.  Kevin walked back inside the
room leaving the door slightly ajar.  Kevin then turned on the lights and
sat in one of the chairs.  Justin followed Kevin inside and closed the door
behind him.  Justin stood there looking at Kevin trying to figure out what
he wanted.  "What did you want to talk about?"
	"About you and Nick."
	Justin looked worriedly at Kevin.  "We're not getting punished are
we?"  Justin tried to laugh out but Kevin didn't.  He looked at Kevin with
a bit of a pained expression.
	"Uh huh."
	"Why don't you sit down."  Justin nodded and sat down on the bed
looking at Kevin.  "Nick's been through a lot the last couple of years.
He's had a failed relationship and troubles with his family.  We, I mean
the Backstreet Boys, are the only ones who really take care of him.  We
look out for him.  We want the best for him."
	Justin nodded at Kevin not knowing where this was going.  "Nick is
hurting.  He's very good at hiding it.  From an outsider's point of view it
looks like he's just a spoiled little brat who play lots of tricks on us.
I guess that's one reason we let him.  At least when he's trying to think
or play all these tricks on us he's not taking time to think about all the
things he's gone through."  Kevin looked at Justin to figure out if he was
getting was he was saying.
	"He might act like something's not bothering him or laugh it off
but he'll go over it in his mind even when it has no solution.  He replays
it over and over until it disturbs him more and more.  He buries things
deep to try to forget about them.  Sometimes, he's gets really good at it
and not remembers but all of a sudden a thought comes into his mind and
he's sad again.  He gets like that, moody, I guess you can call it."
	Justin sat there listening to Kevin but still had no idea what he
was getting at.
	"So, what's this have to do with me?"
	Kevin sighed knowing he has not made his point across yet.  "Nick's
gonna tell you something.  I don't know how you're gonna take it.  If it's
good then all is well but if you're gonna take it badly then I'm asking
you.  I'm asking you Justin, not to hurt him.  Don't yell or storm off.  I
guess I'm saying, if you cannot say anything nice then don't say anything
at all."
	Justin looked at Kevin with hurt.  "I'm not like that Kevin.  He's
a friend of mine.  I wouldn't hurt him."
	"Things happen Justin.  Change happens.  When it's to the wire, who
the hell you are is gonna show up.  I'm just warning you."
	Justin was getting angry.  "What is this anyway?  What is it that
he's going to tell me?"
	Kevin sat back in his chair eyeing Justin.  "It's not my place to
tell you.
  He'll tell you when he's ready.  Just be careful.  Be gentle.  And
remember what I said."
	"Are we done here?" Justin asked in spite.
	Kevin looked at Justin disappointedly and nodded yes before Justin
stormed out of the room.

					+++++++++++++++++

	"Nick, Nick, wake up." Howie said shaking the blond youth.
	Nick slowly awakened from his slumber to look up to his friend.
"Huh?" he asked still in a sleepy daze.
	"It's time to get up.  Everybody's waiting."
	Nick sat up on the bed and looked around.  "This..."
	"You slept in Kevin's room."
	"And..."
	"He slept in yours."  Howie said finishing Nick's sentences.  "Now
come on.  Everybody is already eating in the dining area."
	"Okay."  Nick said getting up from the bed.  He was about to leave
for his room when he remembered something.  "Shit.  Howie what time is it?"
	"It's a little pass ten, why?"
	"Me and Justin was suppose to...do something?" Nick said catching
himself.
	"He's eating with the guys."
	"Yeah?  I wonder why he didn't get me?"
	"Maybe he thought he'd let you sleep or something.  Now come on I'm
getting hungry."
	"Okay, okay.  Geez, let me just wash my face and brush my teeth
then we can go down.  I'll just get ready later."
	Nick and Howie entered the dining area especially set up for them.
In actuality it was one of the conference rooms the hotel had.  They just
put in some couches, chains, and tables so they could use it to have
breakfast in.  They walked in to see the guys having some sort of breakfast
and each holding some kind of conversation.
	Nick and Howie immediately went to the table with the food and
grabbed a plate.  Nick looked around and found Justin sitting on one of the
couches with Lance.  "Mornin' guys."
	Justin, Lance, and Chris who pulled a chair next to the two all
looked up to Nick.  "Morning."
	Nick smiled at all of them and then focused back on Justin.  "Hey,
why didn't you wake me this morning.  I thought we were gonna do that
thing."
	Justin looked at Lance and Chris before looking back up to Nick.
"Um...I didn't wake up.  I guess I was tired or something."
	"That's okay.  I guess I was too, I didn't even get back to my own
room last night.  Pretty funny, huh?"
	"Uhm...yeah." Justin said looking uninterested with the whole
conversation.
	"We'll do it later then.  `kay?" Nick asked.
	"Ah...yeah." Justin said looking back to Lance and Chris who now
started their own conversation.
	Nick then felt his stomach which reminded him of the real reason he
was there.  He looked at his plate which had some bacon, sausage, french
toast, and eggs.  Not too healthy but he can burn it off later.  He looked
at the couch and then at Justin.  "Wanna scoot over?"
	"Huh?" Justin asked looking back towards Nick.  Nick simply pointed
at his food and the couch with a silly grin.  "Oh, sorry."  Justin then
scooted over closer to Lance to let Nick sit on the couch.

	A little later someone entered the room and gave Kevin a pile of
papers.  Kevin looked at them for awhile before looking back to the whole
group.  "Okay guys."  He said trying to get everyone's attention.  "I just
have to announce this and then we can go on with our day."  He looked
around and saw that most everyone had their eye on him.  Nick, meanwhile,
sat on the end of the couch looking dejected.  He knew that look.  He then
moved his gaze down to Justin, Lance, and Chris.  Justin sat with a space
between him and Nick.  To Kevin it looked like it was miles in between them
but in actuality it was only inches.  Instinctively, he knew Justin hasn't
been paying attention to Nick.
	Kevin looked back down at the papers as he knew he couldn't do
anything about it right now.  "Okay, we only have a few more dates on this
tour so here goes.  I know the end is near but we're not there yet so keep
your head on straight." Kevin said looking directly at AJ who just
shrugged.  "We have a couple in Florida and then we have to make-up our
dates that we missed in Fort Lauderdale.  Now, the Backstreet Boys have to
announce their new tour dates in a couple days so those who are interested
in them come to me and we can look at them.  So that no one comes to me
later complaining." Kevin said now looking at Brian who gave his cousin a
smug look.  "As far as N'Sync goes, I think you guys are in the studio
after this.  I don't know exactly, Lance is your guy."
	Lance turned his attention away from Kevin.  "They know what we're
doing.  I don't have to announce anything."  Lance said confidently.
	Kevin frowned.  "Okay, I guess that's it."  Soon everybody went
back to their own little conversations as Kevin looked onto Lance.  He was
talking to Chris and Justin.  Meanwhile, Nick sat on the end of the couch
not knowing what to do.  He walked towards them.  "Lance, can we talk."
	Lance looked up at Kevin and so did Justin.  Justin's heard that
`let's talk' business before and he didn't like it.  "Ah, what is it
about?"
	"Just a little business." Kevin said honestly.
	"Um...sure."
	"Let's go to the other room then so we can talk better."  Lance
just nodded and got up from the couch.  Kevin then looked at Nick and
smiled.  Nick simply smiled back thankful for what Kevin did.  Chris then
looked at Lance and Kevin leave and then got up from his chair to go talk
to Joey.
	Nick moved closer to Justin on the couch to talk to him.  "So what
do you think?"
	Justin who was still steaming and interested about what Kevin
needed to tell Lance turned to look at Nick.  "Huh?"
	"About doing that thing?  You know, later?" Nick said in a whisper.
	It took a moment to process but Justin got it.  "Um...I don't think
I could."
	Nick looked at Justin disappointedly.  "Why?"
	Justin thought for a moment before answering.  "Ah...my friend..she
called me this morning.  Yeah, she said she was gonna come to our show down
at Orlando.  So, we're gonna get together."
	"Okay, but what's that got to do with today?"
	"Um...I was gonna go...um...shopping to go get her something.  A
gift."
	 "Oh, that could be fun.  Can..."
	"Ah...you see me, Chris, and Joey are going.  And well you
know...it's just.."
	"Oh, okay.  Sure, I'm sorry."
	"No.  Actually, we should get going.  We only have a couple of
hours before we got to go.  So um...yeah."  Justin said as he stood up from
the couch.  "Bye," before going towards where Chris and Joey were.

				+++++++++++++++++++++++

	Nick carelessly sauntered through the corridors of the Ice Palace
going to the N'Sync dressing room.  Since the Backstreet Boys changed under
the stage they gave N'Sync the dressing room to just lounge in.  They
meanwhile just hang out in the busses or in the back somewhere.
	Nick was deep in thought and was reflecting on the last couple of
days.  It's been strange and solitary in a good way.  He was able to think
out things.  He was able to set things in his mind grounded.  He finally
figured out what he wanted to do.  It replayed over and over in his head,
how it might go.  Nick felt kind of comfortable that anyway Justin would
take his statement he's seen the worst and the good in his head.  He's seen
and played every scenario in his head, it was comforting that he knew what
might happen but it still was nerve-racking not to know which one of those
scenarios would play out.
	Nick finally reached the dressing room door and heard chatter on
the other side.  He lightly knocked on it and heard, "It's not locked."
	He opened the door to see Lance and Chris sitting in front of the
mirrors.  Lance was getting his hair done by one of the stylist and Chris,
his make-up.  "Hey guys."
	"Hi, Nick.  What's up?" Lance asked looking at Nick's reflection in
the mirror.
	"Um...Kevin want..." Nick suddenly heard a girlish laugh from
behind him.  He looked back to see a young woman with shoulder length
blonde hair sitting on Justin's lap.  He didn't have to see the lady's face
to know who it was.  He knew by the laugh and by the hair.  Nick almost
lost it then as his words got stuck in his throat.  He tried to look back
to Lance but could still see the two in the reflection of the mirror.
"Ah... Kevin want...wanted to talk to you."  He again lost his train of
thought as he saw Justin give her a small rectangular box and heard him say
Happy Birthday.  He tried to focus but instead could only see her hugging
Justin before opening her present.  "He...he wants to talk to you about
some business or something.  When you have time he says...before we leave
for tonight."
	Lance stared at Nick thoroughly, examining his expressions.  "Sure,
tell him I'll be right over as soon as I'm done here, k?"
	Lance's words was lost in Nick's thoughts as he looked at Justin in
the reflection.  He simply nodded his head and turned to the two.  He
slowly walked towards them not wanting to bother them if it was something
important.  "Hi." He said quietly.
	She got up from Justin's lap and stood up to greet Nick.  "Hi" she
said as she gave Nick a kiss on the cheek.
	"So...um what are you doing here?" Nick asked carefully.
	"Justin asked me to come...he said he wanted to celebrate."
	Nick looked at the box and then at her.  "Ah yeah....Happy
Birthday."
	"Thanks, can you believe him?  He's so sweet.  Such a great
friend." She said referring to her gift.
	Nick looked over her shoulder at Justin who just shrugged.  "Yeah,
he is."  Nick said.  "So, how long has it been?"
	The girl kind of blushed.  "It's been a couple of months.  How have
you been?"
	"Oh...um...pretty good I guess.  So, are you gonna stay after the
show?"
	"Yeah, Justin's taking me out to dinner.  He's treat."
	"Cool, maybe I'll see you after the show and we can catch up."
	"Okay, that will be nice."
	Nick just nodded his head.  "Well, I better go."  Nick said as he
walked towards the door.  "Bye, Justin." Justin, meanwhile, just waved his
hand.  Nick then looked back at the girl.  "Bye, Britney."
	"Later, Nick."
	As soon as Nick closed the door he felt like screaming out of the
top of his lungs.  He was angry.  Angry at himself.  He walked towards the
busses in the back and kicked a plastic garbage can sending it flying down
the hall.

					+++++++++++++++

	The concert that night in Tampa wasn't one of Nick's best.  He was
a little off key in a couple parts in a few of the songs and missed a
couple of steps in the choreography.  He was just glad that Fatima wasn't
there to see it.  The crowd really didn't care though.  The other
Backstreet Boys made up more than enough for his small mistakes.  They were
hyped up and very much into the show.  Brian has his charisma going, AJ and
his wild antics on stage, Howie had his charm on getting all the girls to
swoon for him, and Kevin provided that serious and dark quality that made
any woman fantasize about him.
	The show was finish and most of the crowd was gone.  They knew
there would still be a couple in the back waiting to just see a glimpse of
them go into their busses.  As soon as they opened the doors a barrage of
flashes hit them as fans tried to get a picture of their favorite
Backstreet Boy.
	Nick lagged behind but soon saw a limo parked behind one of the
buses.  He called for Kevin.  "Kevin, can I talk to you?"
	"Sure, as soon as we get into the bus.  These flashes are
blinding."
	"I'm not going with you guys."
	Kevin quickly turned to see if heard correctly.  Howie did also as
he heard what Nick say.  Kevin looked at Nick's face before nodding towards
Howie.  Howie let it go and followed Brian and AJ into their bus.  Kevin,
meanwhile, walked towards Nick.
	"I'm not going with you guys.  I got the limo." Nick said pointing
towards the vehicle.
	Kevin looked at Nick questioningly.  "Why?  Where are you going?"
	"I think I'm going to go home.  Stay in my own house.  Sleep in my
own bed.  You know that kind of thing."  Nick said as he tried to put on a
smile.
	"You sure, Nick?"  Nick simply nodded to Kevin's question.  "Do you
want me to go with you.  I can just take the limo back to the hotel
afterwards."
	Nick looked up at Kevin's face lovingly.  "Thanks Kevin.  But I'll
be fine."
	Kevin then took Nick into his arms and hugged him.  A barrage of
flashes soon came their way and Kevin had to laugh.  "Okay, okay.  Let's go
before we get on the front page of some tabloid."  Kevin pulled away and
looked into Nick's face.
  "You call me if you need me okay."  Nick nodded again.  "Don't you dare
close up again."
	Nick giggled.  "I won't.  I promise."
	"Okay, now go.  Remember, National Arena at two o'clock."  Nick
looked at Kevin with his eyebrows raised.  "Okay, okay.  Three o'clock.  I
just know you.  I didn't want you to be late."  Nick turned around and
walked towards the limo.  Kevin watched him as the chauffeur open the door
for him and Nick go in and close again.  Kevin turned around and walked to
the bus.  `I hope he's okay.'

					+++++++++++++

	Nick leaned against the wall in the hallway of the National Car
Rental Arena.  He got ready early because he finally decided that he had to
do this.  No more if's, no more not knowing, no more wondering.  He's done
enough of that.  He been through enough things and wondered if he simply
had the courage to say something would it be different.  He wasn't gonna
let this time be the same.  He's grown up he told himself.  He's learned
from his past experiences.  He simply needed to wait for this song to end
and then he could talk to Justin.
	Nick listened carefully to JC's words as he sang "Sailing."  It was
a sweet song and one of his favorites actually.  Nick's heart started to
beat a little harder and faster he expected the end of the song.  He took a
deep breath as he knew that any moment Justin would come running in through
those doors.  He saw a couple of guards pass by and then Joey, Chris, and
Lance.  "Justin." He called out.
	Justin stopped where he was at and looked at Nick.  The others
maneuvered around him as they started for the dressing room.  "Hi, Nick."
	"Hi, can we talk?" Nick said as he looked upon the ground moving
his left leg around.
	Justin wiped the sweat off with the back of his right hand as he
breathed a little heavy.  "Yeah, let me just catch a quick shower and
change."
	"It's kind of important.  Can we do it now?" Nick said as he
finally looked into Justin's face.  Justin was sweating but God did he look
good.  His skin glistened and it made him more attractive.  He stood there
with sweat around his face and breathing a little harder but it was more
sensual than anything.
	"K, go."
	Nick took a deep breath before proceeding.  He pushed down all the
butterflies in his stomach as he knew it was now or never.  "I wanted to
tell you something.  I need to tell you something."  Nick examined Justin's
eyes for change.  "The past two months has been weird, isn't it?"  Nick
tried to laugh it off.  Justin didn't budge but simply wiped his forehead
with the back of his hand again.  "We didn't exactly start off on the right
foot did we?"  Nick couldn't get it out.  It went so much better in his
mind.  His eyes started to wander and saw the stage hands going in and out
of the hall way as they tried to change the stage for their set.  They all
looked like they were moving in a different speed than he was.  They
quickly passed his line of sight in a blur and as he sat his eyes on
Justin's it was the only one which was in focus.  "When we became friends
it was like a whole other level."
	"Yeah, it was nice." Justin said as he tried to probe into what
Nick was getting at.
	"Nothing else mattered, Justin.  I didn't have to look back
anymore.  The now was more important.  The future was more valuable.  I had
this great friend who I do stuff with and talk to about the stupidest
thing.  Then something happened.  I realized something.  It didn't change
but I finally understood what I felt the first time I saw you."  Justin
looked at Nick quizzically.  "When I look at you, the world is a blur.
When I'm with you, it's just us.  I feel like I'm in this bubble where no
one else can come in and no one can bother me.  I got scared at first but I
made a mistake.  Are you getting what I'm saying?"
	Justin nodded his head no.  "Nick, what are you saying?"  Justin
wiped his brow again.
	"God, Justin.  I'm risking a lot here.  I'm putting myself out to
you.  There's no other way to say it than just saying it." Nick paused as
he stopped looking to his brain for answers but to his heart.  "I love you
Justin.  I'm in love with you."  Nick looked into Justin for an answer but
only saw shock and disbelief in his face.  "I'm not saying this to hurt you
or to ask you to love me too.  I just wanted...thought you should know.  I
needed to be honest with you.  I didn't want to lie anymore...lie to
myself." Justin took his gaze away from Nick and onto the floor.  Nick,
meanwhile, couldn't find anymore words to say.  He waited for Justin to say
something, to speak to him.  He didn't.

					++++++++++++

	The concert started with the Boys flying onto the stage on their
boards.  Then they sang Larger than Life, That's The Way I Like It, and Get
Down.  When they finished those series of songs, the stage went dark and a
spotlight was put on Nick.  "What's up Fort Lauderdale?"  The crowd soon
roared and screamed with their answer.  "This is our last show of the
millennium."  The crowd then oohed their disappointed.  "But we're going to
go out in a blast."  Nick said with a smile and the crowd once again
screamed.  "It's been a hard year but also an exciting one.  If you don't
know we came out we a new album titled Millennium."  The crowd once again
screamed.  "Oh, you've heard of it.  Well, it's our latest work and even
Brian and Kevin wrote in it." Scream again.  "Yes, aren't they great?  It's
been a trying year but we got through it because of you guys, the fans."
The crowd screamed.  "I just want to thank you for supporting us and coming
here tonight.  Now, since it's our last show I asked the guys if I could do
something a little special for you tonight."  The crowd screamed louder as
if that were possible.  "I hope you like it."  The crowd screamed as the
lights on the stage went off.
	A lone spotlight shone on a mic stand in the middle of the stage.
Nick slowly came up to it and sang.  A slow melody started and Nick looked
at the crowd of screaming girls.  "Another lonely night What will I do I
feel my heart breaking in two I'm such a fool When will I learn I fell so
deep Then I got burned If you gave just one reason why My heart just might
let go Maybe one day I will fall in love again But for now I'll just leave
my heart in two" Nick sang with so much hurt and so much angst that his
voice started to crack as he tried to keep his tears from falling.

	"If I never fall in love again
	If I never touch your skin again
	If I never feel again this way
	If I never see another day
	Remember me
	Remember this
	Cause one thing that will never change
	Is the feeling in my heart
        So broken by you"

Nick sang the chorus of the song and couldn't hold it anymore.  Tears
started to fall down his cheeks.  Nick wiped them away casually trying to
keep his composure.  Now, the audience was in silence as they saw their
favorite Backstreet Boy sing out to their hearts and cry his tears.

"Love still remains after you're gone
Oh please explain what is wrong
If you gave just one reason why
My heart just might let go
Maybe one day I will fall in love again
But for now I'll just leave my heart in two
If I never fall in love again
If I never touch your skin again
If I never feel again this way
If I never see another day
Remember me
Remember this
`Cause one thing that will never change
Is the feeling in my heart"

Nick paused as so did the music.  He took the moment with tears still in
his eyes to look at the adoring fans staring back at him.  Some of them had
tears in their eyes also holding onto their chest.  They were sharing in
his pain at that moment.  He looked back at the mic and started to sing
again.
             "So broken by you"

As the music slowly quieted down and the end of the song neared.  Nick
painfully said these words at the end of the song.

"Never had my heart broken by you I'll just leave my heart in two"

	As soon as Nick finished the song the spotlight turned off and the
stage stood in darkness again.  Nick slowly walked off the stage.


(`Broken by You' is written by J. Harris III, T. Lewis.  A little author's
note: I used my artistic license as a writer and change a couple of the
words to fit the song into the whole scheme of things)




Disclaimer: This story is fiction and does not represent the real people
that might be mentioned here.  If you are under 18 or if it is illegal to
read this in the country where you live, the city where you are, etc. then
don't.  Again, this is just some fantasy I concocted in my head so don't
get insulted.


Chapter 13: Don't Wanna Lose
Written by: "Bear"

	A telephone carelessly rang in a luxurious house.  Through the
empty bedrooms, noiseless kitchen, and barren family room it echoed its
disturbing bellow.  Meanwhile, a cordless phone rang and vibrated on top of
a glass table in the patio.  A handsome blond came up from the spacious
backyard to the deck to see who his intruder was.
	"Hello."
	"Hey Nick."
	"What's up Kevin?" Nick said with a slight groan.
	"We're still in the airport waiting for the flight."
	"Oh..." Nick said with an audible disappointment.
	Kevin let go of Nick's non-verbal comment.  "You okay Nick? You..."
	"I'm fine Kevin."  Nick replied without much feeling.  He felt like
he's repeated the sentence so many times it's lost all meaning.
	"I just wanted to make sure.  Are you positive you don't want to go
with us?"
	"Kev, I said I'm fine.  And yes, I don't want to go."
	"Come on, Nick.  It will be fun.  Las Vegas and all."
	Nick rolled his eyes.  He thanked God momentarily that Kevin
couldn't see him through the phone.  "Yeah, fun for you guys.  What will I
do?  You guys get to gamble and go clubbing while I get to stay in the room
and watch movies."
	"We could do other stuff.  Let the other guys do their thing and we
could go do other stuff."
	"No, Kev that's okay.  I really don't want to go.  Plus, those
things are kind of a drag anyway.  You get ready for too long, sit there
for too many hours, and then afterwards go to snobbish parties where the
press pry as much information out of you as possible."
	"Nick, you know it's not that bad.  Plus we could win something."
	"It's cool Kevin.  I'll just watch you guys on tv and be more
relaxed.  I'll get some popcorn and snacks and enjoy the evening."
	"You sure?" Kevin said with worry in his voice.
	"One hundred and ten percent."
	"Okay." Kevin replied with a giggle but also disappointment.  "But
if you change your mind I've left a ticket here for you at the airport.
That flight leaves at ten o'clock tomorrow morning so if you want you can
still make it."
	"Kevin."
	"Yeah, yeah but just in case."
	"I'll think about it.  Now go, I don't want you to miss your
flight."
	"Bye Nick.  Remember, ten o'clock."
	"Bye Kev."

					+++++++++++++

	As soon as the car came to a screeching halt, Nick blasted through
the doors like a screaming bullet.  He ran into the airport.  `American,
American 270.  God, why is it when your looking for something you can't see
it.'  He ran to the desk ignoring everyone that was in line.  "American
Flight 270.  Where is it?"
	The guy who was on the desk waiting to be served looked at Nick
with disgust.  "Excuse me but you have to wait in line."  The lady said.
	"No, I'm gonna be late.  I just need you to answer my question.
Flight 270?"
	The lady groaned.  "Concourse C Gate 17."
	Before the lady finished Nick was running off in that direction.
He looked at his watch 9:49.  `Please let me make it.  Please.' Nick ran as
fast as he could.
  It was a good thing that he didn't have anything with him.  No bags,
nothing.
	Nick woke up that morning way too early.  It was unusual for him to
wake up at such a dreary hour as six o'clock when he had nothing to do.  He
lay in bed for an hour or so just trying to go back to sleep but couldn't.
He finally decided to get up and watch some tv downstairs.  He flipped
through the channels but nothing good was on.  He hated mornings, if it
wasn't news then it was something related to it.  He could have watched
some cartoons but he wasn't in the mood.  Finally, he decided to leave it
on MTV since they were playing some music videos.
	He watched a couple of them before his stomach started to growl for
some food.  Nick got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen to make
some pancakes.  He got out the mix and some other ingredients and started
mixing them together.  He decided to make some sausages too so he took some
from the freezer and defrosted them in the microwave.  Making breakfast
took awhile but in some way he enjoyed making meals especially when he was
so resolved in doing it.  With everything finally done Nick sat in the
breakfast table with his pancakes and sausages.  He spread some butter and
poured some maple syrup on his pancakes before starting to consume them.
	Midway through his first pancake he felt this indescribable feeling
in the pit of stomach.  His brain didn't even had to register what it meant
but instead he threw down his fork.  "Damn it," before running upstairs
back to his room to get ready.
  It was eight- thirty and he had an hour and a half to make it to his
flight.
	Nick reached his destination, as the attendant was about to close
the door.
  He ran up to her.  "Nickolas Carter."
	"Oh yes, we received word about you.  Go right in, the flight is
about to leave."
	Nick ran in and to the airplane.  He came up to a flight attendant
and she ushered him into his first class seat.  He took a deep breath and
breath a little easier knowing that he made it.  Suddenly his happiness
turned to regret.  `Why am I doing this to myself?' he questioned himself
in his mind.  `I need to get out of here.' He told himself as he looked
around but saw that the plane had already started to back out.  A tear
started to form in his eye.  `I don't want to go.  I don't want to see him
again.  Why do you do this to yourself?  Why?' Nick asked himself as he put
his head into his hands.
	Nick was suddenly startled as he felt a hand on his shoulder.  He
looked up to see the flight attendant.  "Mr. Carter.  You have a phone
call." She said as she held a phone in her hand.
	"Thanks." He said trying to compose himself before grabbing the
phone.  He put the phone up to his ear hesitantly.  He wondered who would
know he was here.
  "Hello?"
	"I see you made it."
	"Kevin?  How'd you..."
	"How did I know?"  Nick nodded his head as if Kevin would see his
gesture.  "After awhile you kind of get to know a person you've been with
for a couple of years."  Kevin giggled.  "I thought you might change your
mind."
	"Really?"
	"I didn't know for sure but I had a feeling."
	"Thanks, Kevin."
	"That's what I'm here for.  Now, enjoy your flight and stay calm.
You've been on hundreds of flights before.  And I'll have Tommy and a limo
wait for you when you arrive."
	"Bye Kevin."
	"Bye.  I'll see you soon."  Nick turned off the phone, closed his
eyes, and slid into a comfortable position in his chair to get a little
shut eye.

					++++++++++++++

	  Nick was greeted in the airport with Tommy, a big bulk of a man
who was one of their bodyguards.  "Hey Tommy."
	"Mr. Carter.  We were expecting you sooner." The man said in a deep
voice.
	"There was a storm headed in our direction so they had to reroute."
Nick said as he got into the limo where Tommy followed him.
	"We're going to have to go straight to the venue because of your
late arrival.  The other Boys have already left the hotel."  Nick nodded
acknowledging the man.
  Then Tommy's phone rang and he quickly picked it up.  "That would be Mr.
Richardson, he's been calling constantly."  Nick nodded again.
"Hello...Yes, he's here...  We're headed off there right now... I'll tell
him... Bye."
	Nick looked at the man questioningly.  "What did he say?"
	"They're at the Grand.  He told me to take you straight to their
trailer to get you ready.  And he told me to tell you to not to worry
because you won't see him."
	Nick nodded again at the man as they continued their travel in
silence.  The ride to the venue was peaceful as Nick just admired the glitz
that was Las Vegas.
  The ride usually only took fifteen minutes or so but because of the event
traffic was backed up.  Nick though didn't go down the red carpet like
everyone else did but instead he was brought straight to the back to get
ready.  Nick was ushered through sets of security checkpoints and through a
maze of trailers until finally reaching their destination.  He walked in to
see Howie and AJ lounging around.  "Hey guys."
	Both boys stood up and gave Nick a hug.  "Nick, you made it." Howie
replied.
	"I thought you didn't want to come." AJ added.
	"Kevin is a hard man to say no to."
	"Yeah, he is." Howie said.
	"So, what are you going to wear." AJ asked.
	Nick looked at himself and smiled innocently.  "I guess this.  I
didn't really get the chance to get anything."
	AJ laughed.  "Come on.  Let's go to the stylist and see if he can
get you something."  AJ said as he ushered Nick out of the trailer and to
their stylist.
	The awards show started pretty much the way the Grammy's did.
Since the first few awards weren't broadcast on television many stars went
in and out as they please during the first couple of hours.  Some people
stayed and watched on and some people didn't.  At least their speech was
kept to a minimum because they knew only the audience would know what they
said.  It's amazing that they didn't blab on when they could but when the
camera is on they could say a million thanks.
	Finally, at about five thirty Las Vegas time the real show started.
The extra thirty minutes used as a tape delay for the networks.  The first
award to their surprise went to the Backstreet Boys.  The guys hugged each
other and their entourage.  When they got up to accept the award all the
guys went up to the mic and said their thanks, even Nick.
	Meanwhile, in the audience, sitting in a row of black leather
clothing Justin watched on.  When he heard the Backstreet Boys won over
them he wasn't sad but happy for them.  He clapped his hands and watch Nick
closely as he came up on the stage and to the mic.  The world seemed to
silence as he examined Nick closely moving through the crowd.  The rest of
the world in a blur but Nick and everything was silence even Nick's words.
He laughed to himself as he saw Nick's hair sticking out every which way.
`That's something he would totally do.  He's so crazy.' Justin thought to
himself.  Everything was perfect and serene at that moment.  He didn't know
why but seeing him smile for that one moment seemed like nothing else
mattered.  It was so different from their last encounter.
	A little later in the show, the N'Sync guys made their way
backstage to get ready to present an award.  While there Justin tried to
find Nick to see if he could at least see him.  To his disappointment he
was nowhere to be found.  As they presented the award to Britney Spears he
searched the crowd for Nick but couldn't find him in the sea of faces.  To
his frustration he gave up.  He didn't see him walk down the red carpet
earlier, but only just the other four Backstreet Boys.  He assumed Nick
wasn't there but he was so surprised when he came up to the stage.  `Did I
dream that?' Justin asked himself.  His mind running a million questions in
his head with no answers in sight.
	With Celine Dion performing her new song, Justin was glad that the
show was almost over.  He had stopped listening and watching what was
onstage but more concerned with what was taking place in his mind.  He
needed time to think and answers to so many questions.  As they finally
announced the final award of the evening, Artist of the Year, Justin waited
like a school child waiting for the clock to strike three.  He wanted to
get out of there.  When they announced that the Backstreet Boys had won
Justin was surprised.  He thought that they gave everyone's awards at the
same time.  He looked on again to see Nick walking through the crowd and
onstage.  `So it wasn't a dream.'  Justin had a new purpose now, he needed
to see Nick.
	As soon as Kathy Griffin announced that that was the end for them,
Justin was the first one out of his seat to make his way backstage.  To no
avail though, he found himself trapped in a sea of people trying to get
out.  He tried to get through them as fast as possible with some people
giving him a dirty look.  He didn't care though because he was on a
mission.  He finally made it backstage after what seemed like an eternity
and looked frantically for the Backstreet Boys.
	He finally spotted AJ talking to a gorgeous woman wearing a short
black cocktail dress.  He came up to him and touched the man on his
shoulders.  "AJ."
	"Oh, hi Justin." AJ answered politely.
	"Do you know where Nick is?" Justin asked all flustered.
	AJ looked around.  "He was here a second ago.  Um... go ask Kevin
and Howie.  They're right there."  AJ said pointing to his right.
	"Thanks."  Justin said before AJ went back to his conversation with
the woman.  Justin one again made his way through the maze of people
quickly not wanting to lose where they went.  "Hi."
	Kevin and Howie looked up Justin's way.  They exchange pleasantries
with Kevin giving Justin a noticeable glare.  "Have you guys seen Nick?  I
just wanted to congratulate him." Justin lied.
	Kevin looked at Howie for a second before answering Justin.  "No."
	"I just saw him onstage with you guys like minutes ago.  Where is
he?"
	"He's not here, Justin." Kevin answered.
	"What do you mean he's not here?  Where did he go?"
	Kevin looked at Howie knowingly before ushering Justin to a quieter
area.  "He's gone Justin."
	"Where did he go?  Did he go back to the hotel or something?"
	"Justin, why do you want to see him anyway?  He's gone, he's not
here, that's it."  Kevin answered plainly.
	"I just...I just." Justin mumbled his words.
	Kevin sighed looking at Justin.  "He's gone Justin.  He's left for
the airport already.  He just came in for the show."
	"But...but"
	"Justin, you had your chance.  I told you."
	Justin's mood instantly changed to anger.  "You asshole.  You knew.
You knew about what he was going to tell me and you didn't tell me.  Why?
Why did you do that?  Why didn't you tell me?  I didn't know what to do.  I
didn't know what to say."  Justin was screaming at Kevin and pushing him.
All of a sudden everyone's attention turned to them.  Kevin quickly catched
onto the situation and grabbed onto Justin's arm and pulled him into a more
private area.  "Let go Kevin.  Shit.  Let go of me."  Justin yelled as he
tried to get away from Kevin's grip.
	"Shut up Justin.  Shut up."  Kevin told him with authority.  "I
tried to explain to you, Justin, but you didn't get it." Kevin answered
looking really calm.
	Justin stared back at Kevin with fire in his eyes.  "You didn't say
that to me.  You didn't explain.  You didn't tell me he loved me."
	"I tried Justin.  I'm sorry but he's gone." Kevin replied.
	"No.  No, he's not gone.  I need to talk to him.  I need to tell
him."
	"Tell him what, Justin?  Tell him what?"
	"That I didn't know.  That I wasn't ready.  I just couldn't believe
that he said..."
	"I gave you the chance, Justin.  I gave you the chance to make him
happy but you didn't.  You didn't Justin.  You didn't.  You broke him again
and I'm not going to allow that happen another time.  I told you before,
when it comes down to the wire.  You find out who you really are.  And the
moment has passed and gone and you let it go.  You couldn't handle it and
you left."
	"I...I didn't leave.  I just had...had to..."
	"Forget about it Justin.  Forget about him because you're not going
to see him again.  You're not even gonna be able to lay your eyes on him
again if I have anything to say about it."  Kevin said looking at the
dejected young man before walking away.

					+++++++++++++++

	Christmas lights adorned every house and the neighborhood became
more festive than before.  Everyone decorated more extravagantly this year
because of the upcoming year 2000.  It was nice to see people getting into
the spirit and knowing that this was the last Christmas of the millennium.
	Nick looked out of the living room window looking at all the houses
and their decorations.  It was nice to see how every house was different in
their own way and their decor.  Even though he loved the beach and the
Florida weather there was one thing he missed.  When he was a child living
in upper New York he always adored the snow on Christmas Eve, too bad it
doesn't snow in Florida.
	Nick felt someone touch his shoulder and he turned around to see
who it was.

"Hey Air."  He said looking into his brother.  Aaron had grown up quickly.
It was weird to see him just sprout up.  Since he was always on the road he
was able to see the changes more.  Aaron had grown a couple of inches and
exuded that confidence that Nick never had in his age.  He was delighted to
see that.

	Aaron held out a present for Nick.  "Merry Christmas bro."

Nick took the present into his hands and gave his brother a hug.  "Merry
Christmas."

They slowly let go of each other and Aaron started to stare out of the
window.

"What were you lookin' at?" he asked.

Nick looked back outside and giggled.  "Oh nothing.  I was just thinking."

"So are the guys coming?" Aaron asked virtuously.

Nick looked onto his brother and laugh.  "No, we met up yesterday and had
our little Christmas thing.  We just wanted to be with our family tonight."
Aaron looked at him disappointingly.  "But, they didn't forget you of
course.  I have your gifts from them in the car."

Aaron smiled at his brother.  "Yeah?"

"Yeah."  Nick said nudging his brother.  "I knew all you wanted to know was
about the gifts."

"No, I didn't."  Aaron answered back quickly.  "I was worried about them."

"Sure." Nick said rolling his eyes.  "Come on, let's get to the table.  I'm
kind of hungry."

A couple of miles away, a similar celebration was taking place.  It was
livelier than the Carter household but it was as special.  The whole N'Sync
family was together.

The members, their parents, and their brothers and sisters.  It was nice to
see.  It wasn't very easy to plan but they made it work.  The food,
meanwhile, was another matter.

They had prepared food delivered to them from three restaurants besides
from what their own families brought.  It was a huge feast to say the
least.

They all shared in the laughter and the joy that is Christmas.  They shared
memories of the past and stories about their travel.  The were enjoying
themselves and enjoying their time with their love ones.  The youngsters,
meanwhile, were all around the tree trying to peek into their presents.
Since there was five families in one household the gifts overflowed from
under the tree.  To be more accurate, the gifts were surrounding the tree.

Justin was also enjoying himself but there was something bothering him.  He
looked around with a smile on his face as he saw his family and his N'Sync
brothers enjoying themselves.  It was nice to see but something was
missing.  Something that he needed to deal with.  He walked away from all
the merriment towards his room upstairs.

He went inside and closed the door, blocking away most of the noise that
traveled through the house.  He walked towards his desk and opened the top
drawer.  Justin took out a elongated rectangular box wrapped nicely in gold
wrapping paper.  He held it in his hand and went back to sit on his bed. He
examined it carefully looking at the box and ribbon that surrounded it.  He
lightly traced his hand over it thinking about the person it was for.

Nick looked on as he watched his brother and sisters open up their
presents.

Ripping up the paper as quickly as they could to see what it held inside.
He sat next to BJ who had joined him in the couch to watch their younger
siblings.  They laughed at the sight of their siblings playing with new
toys and trying on their new clothes.  He and BJ had a quiet understand and
it was nice to know.  He felt comfortable around her and he knew he didn't
have to say a word for her to understand him.  They looked on as time pass
and before you know it their brother and sisters were looking around for
more presents to open but there were none.  Aaron came up to the two, "Your
turn," he smiled at them brightly.

Nick and BJ looked at each other and smiled before getting up from their
position.

They headed to the tree and picked up a present for each of them to open.
Nick left the present in his hand and watches on to see BJ open hers.  She
looked up to see his gaze, "What are you staring at?" she laughed.

"Just wanted to see your reaction." Nick said honestly.

BJ stopped opening her present and puts it down.  She walked up to Nick and
asked, "If you had one thing for Christmas, what would it be?"

Nick looked at his sister questioningly.  "I don't know."

"Oh, come on.  You know what you would ask."

"No, I don't know."

"Remember when we were little and what we would ask Santa."  Nick smiled at
her knowing what she was getting.  "All we wanted was to make some snow
angels on Christmas Day and build forts and have a snowball fight."

"Yeah, so..."

"Well, look." BJ said pointing to the living room window where Nick stood
only hours ago.  When he looked on he saw small light flurries raining
down.  It took him awhile but he knew it was snow.  He looked at her in
shock as she started to drag him outside.

As soon as they opened the front door Nick saw the magical powder falling
lightly onto the ground.  He walked outside and soon all his other siblings
were following him and they started to play in the snow.  He looked around
and saw a man holding a huge tube next to a truck.  Nick turned around and
saw BJ smiling.  "Here, this is for you too." BJ said handing him a card.

Nick opened it quickly to see a Christmas card with a house with snow
falling in the front cover.  He opened the card and read what was inside.
"Merry Christmas.  From the Guys."  Then it was signed by all the other
Backstreet Boys.  Nick folded the card back up and hugged his sister.  He
then picked her up and ran onto the falling snow.  He slowly fell onto the
ground making them roll around in the snow that had accumulated on the
grass.  The laughed heartily as they enjoyed their make believe snow.


				+++++++++++++++

Justin woke up with the sun blazing into his room.  He cursed himself for
not closing the blinds the night before.  He got up from his bed knowing
that he would not be able to go to sleep again.  He had a late night and it
was even harder for him to fall asleep.  He walked to the washroom to brush
hit teeth and wash his face.  The he put on a T-shirt and some jogging
pants before heading downstairs.

He walked through room to room remembering the events from last night.  It
put a smile on his face remembering his family and friends being so happy.
He looked at the clock which said nine thirty.  He knew that his family
would not wake up for another hour or so.  He walked into the family room
and sat on the couch.  He stared at the blank tv as his thinking started to
wander.

He picked up a phone on the end table and dialed a familiar number.  After
three rings someone finally picked up.  "Hello," a groggy voice said.

"Hello, good morning."

"Justin?"

"Yeah, Merry Christmas."

Justin then heard some scruffling on the other end.  "Justin, it's nine
thirty in the morning.  You couldn't have waited later to greet me a Merry
Christmas."

"Well, Merry Christmas to you too Justin." He said sarcastically.

"Sorry, sorry.  It's just that I had a late night."

"Who didn't." Justin answered.

"Then why are you up so early?"

"Forgot to close the blinds." Justin said.

"So, I get punished for your mistake." She said sarcastically trying to get
herself be more awake.  "So how was it?"

"Pretty good, I guess.  Everybody was here and I mean everybody.  We have
four trash bags full of wrapping paper in the living room."

"Did you get anything good?"

Justin thought to himself how that question sounded so childish.  "Yeah, I
guess.

Some things I could use. And you?"

"Same old same old."

Justin paused for a moment.  "Brit, when are we gonna grow up and stop
comparing what each other got every Christmas?"

Britney thought for a moment and smiled.  "Hopefully never Justin.
Hopefully never."

Justin laughed.  "Yeah, hopefully."

A moment of silence passed both of them as the other tried to figure out
what to say.  Britney finally took the initiative, "Justin, are you okay?"

Justin felt relieved that she asked him that.  He took a deep breath and
asked her, "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything, why?"

"Let's say there's this guy.  You know, he's cool.  Good looking, sweet,
level- headed I guess.  I mean, he's never really gotten to date too much.
He's dated a couple of girls but nothing special."

"Uh huh." Britney replied.

"Then all of a sudden he meets this other guy.  At first he's totally
annoyed by this guy but then they become friends.  Then he can't get this
guy off his head.  He wants to be around him and you know.  Then out of
nowhere the guy said he loves him.  More than just friends love but love
him, love him."

Britney thought for a moment trying to censor her words carefully.  "Does
the guy love him back."

Justin thought for a moment.  "I...he doesn't know.  But all he can think
of is this guy.  Before going to sleep, as soon as he wakes up, every
moment, any little thing reminds me...him of him.  And to top it off
he...he doesn't even know if he's... gay."

"Justin, if there's one thing you take from our friendship, take this."
Britney said before pausing to rethink her words.  "The heart doesn't
distinguish, Justin.  It doesn't know the difference between a man and a
woman.  It simply falls in love with the person that it does."

"Yeah, but what if he doesn't know."

"Then, he's not using his heart anymore Justin, he's using his brain.
Follow your heart Justin and it will lead you to the right place."

Justin paused and thought over Britney's words.  Justin was glad that he
was able to talk to his friend like that.  "Thanks Brit."

"You're welcome."

"How'd you get so smart like that anyway."

"I might be a blonde Justin but I did learn a thing or two along the way."

Justin laughed at her remark.  "Well, thanks either way.  It was nice
talking to you.  Merry Christmas, again."

"Merry Christmas, Justin."

"Bye, Brit."

Before Justin could hang up the phone, "Justin wait."

"Yeah."

"Is he cute?"

As soon as he heard those words, Justin had a picture of Nick in his mind.
He lovingly answered the question back, "Yeah, he is."

"Just wanted to know.  Then, I say go for it." Britney yelled like a
cheerleader.

"Huh?" Justin asked breaking away from his dreamlike state.

"Bye, Justin.  Good luck." Britney replied before hanging up.  Justin
looked at the phone in shock.  Then after a second he just laughed at
himself before putting the phone back in it's place.


				+++++++++++++

Justin came in and walked straight to the receptionist.  "Hello, I need to
know if the Backstreet Boys are here?"

The woman didn't even look up from her desk thinking that it was probably
one of their craze fans.  "Sorry, I can't give out that kind of
information."

"Well, is Nick Carter here?" Justin asked again.

"Sorry, can't give that out either."  The woman answered again not looking
up to him.  She instead turned around and started to type on her computer.

Justin moved around the desk to get to her.  "Excuse me."  The woman didn't
care.  "Excuse me."

The woman, finally fed up looked up.  "What?" as soon as she saw him.  He
was in disbelief and felt truly sorry.  "Ah... I'm sorry Mr. Timberlake.  I
didn't know it was you."

"That's okay.  I'd just like to know if the Backstreet Boys are here."

"Okay, let me check."  She typed a couple of things in the computer trying
to get what she wanted.  "Yes, it shows here they have the studio 8 on the
12 floor and studio 5 in the 13 floor."

Justin looked relieved.  "Okay thanks."  He said before making his way to
the elevators.  He pressed the button for floor 12 and waited patiently for
it to get there.  As soon as it reached the floor Justin made his way
towards studio 8.  When he found it he tried to enter as quietly as
possible just in case they were recording.

When he came in he saw AJ working on the board as his vocals were being
played.  AJ turned around when the light entered the room.  "Hey, Justin.
What are you doing here?"

"Hi AJ, I was looking for Nick."

AJ looked at him questioningly.  "He's not here.  Did you guys have plans
or something?"

"Ah...no, I just wanted to see him."

"I'm sorry Justin.  It's just me here."

"But they said..."

"Yeah, it's a lot easier than signing things up individually.  Howie's
upstairs working too.  But that's about it, me and D."

"Do you know where Nick is?"

"The last time I saw him was three days ago before Christmas.  We're really
on our break right now so we kind of keep to ourselves before we're stuck
together again."

AJ smiled.

"Oh, I thought you guys..."

"Did you call his cell phone?"

"Yeah, I think it was off."

"How about his home?"

"No, I don't have..."

"Here, let me give you his number at Tampa.  I'm sure he wouldn't mind."
AJ said as he ripped out a piece of paper and wrote on it with a pen.

"Could you put his address on there too...just in case."  Justin asked
innocently.

AJ tried to examine Justin for a second.  "Okay, as long as you don't stalk
him or something."  AJ joked.

"Thanks, AJ."

"No prob, Justin.  Keep in touch, k."  AJ said before returning to his
work.

"Bye, AJ" Justin said before leaving the studio.  Justin ran back to his
car and immediately set for the highway.  He turned on his car phone and
dialed the number that AJ gave him but nobody answered.  `Forget it.  If he
won't pick up the phone I'll just go to him.' Justin told himself as he
made his way to Tampa.

After about an hour or so, Justin finally made it to his destination.  He
still didn't know what to say but he figured he would once he was there.
He walked up to the front door of a nice white Victorian house and rang the
bell.  After a couple of minutes, nobody answered and Justin rang the bell
again.  After a couple of tries, Justin went back to his car.

As he sat there he contemplated what he could do.  He could wait there and
see when Nick came back but he didn't even know if Nick was gonna be back.
After serious thinking, he was at the end of his rope.  He didn't want to
do this but he had no other choice, he called Lance.  "Hello."

"Hey, Lance.  It's Justin."

"Hey J.  What's up?"

"I just needed some info.  I'm sorry if I disturb you."

"No, that's fine.  What did you need?"

"Do you know Nick Carter's number or something."

"I think I have a number for him but what's the deal?"

"I just wanted to talk to him."

"Okay, let me get my organizer.  Hold on for a second."  Justin held on
hoping that Lance had some better information.  "Justin."

"Yeah, I'm here."

"I have a number for his parents house but that's it, nothing else.  Do you
want that?"

"Yeah, what is it?"  Lance gave Justin the number and then Justin thanked
him.

They ended their conversation and Justin examined the paper carefully.  He
hope to God that Nick was there.  He then dialed up the number and heard
the other end ring.

"Hello."  A high pitch voice answered.

"Hi, is Nick Carter there?" Justin asked as nicely as he could.

"Sorry, he's not here.  Can I take a message?"

"Oh, who is this anyway?" Justin politely questioned.

"Who is this?" the voice questioned back.

"Justin, Justin Timberlake."

"Justin."

"Aaron, is that you?"

"Yeah, hey.  How you doin'?"

"I'm fine but I'm looking for your brother."

"Oh, he's not here.  He's in Cali."

"He's where?" Justin asked again.

"He's in Cali...California.  He's at our house down there."

"Oh, do you know when he's gonna be back."

"I don't know.  He didn't say."  Aaron answered truthfully.  "Why do you
want to know?"

"I just needed to talk to him that's all."  Justin answered back as he
thought over his options.  "Hey, Aaron do you know the address down there."

"Yes, why?"

"You think I could have it."

"Okay, it's..."

Justin sped to the airport with address in hand.  He didn't care anymore.
He simply needed to find Nick and talk to him.  He didn't tell anyone what
he was doing or where he was going.  He didn't need their objections or
their opinions.  This one was for himself.  This one is for him.  He could
always explain to them later and hopefully they will understand.


				++++++++++++++

Justin made it out of LAX without much trouble.  Without the fans knowing
that he was coming it was all the more easier.  Plus, LAX usually dealt
with this kind of stuff anyways and has accommodated bigger stars than one
Justin Timberlake.  He got out of the airport and hailed a cab.  He gave
the driver the address and they were on their way.

While in the cab, Justin opened his jacket and took out a elongated
rectangular box.  It was wrapped in gold wrapping pair with a silver ribbon
tied around it.  He held it carefully in his hand and examined it.  He was
lost in thought as the car sped through the Los Angeles freeway and
traffic.  Finally, it came to a halt on a nicely decorated Mediterranean
house.

He looked at the household and he started to get nervous.  The cab driver
said something and he took out some money to pay the man.  Justin slowly
got out and the cab sped off.  He made his way down the long walkway
towards the front door caressing the box that he still had in his hand.  He
tried to gather his thoughts and tried to figure out the best words to say.
Appearing in front of the door he looked around and saw a doorbell on the
side.  He breathes deeply knowing that the conclusion of his quest was at
hand.  He rang the bell once and waited.  After a minute or so he rang it
again.  As soon as he did, the knob slowly turned and the door open.  His
heart stopped for that moment as his eyes finally laid on Nick.