Date: Fri, 28 Jul 2000 04:17:05 EDT
From: WriterGray@aol.com
Subject: Don't Wany You Back Part 13-Try as we may

Warning! If you not old enough leave otherwise enjoy it, it's fiction!

I hope you all enjoy it. I really have not heard much from anyone lately. I
know some people are reading it because I go to the chat room and get told
there. But hey, drop me a line to let me know what you think. It would be
nice to get the mail and the questions once in a while.

Writergray@aol.com


Again, read the other great series' out there. There are a lot of them and
these are a few of my favorites:

Copier guys (beginnings)               Dream Lance
Brian's 7 seas of loneliness           Open Arm's
Superman can't fly                     Fixing the Backstreet Boy's
Kevin behind the scenes                We admitted it
Lonely Lance                           My surprise romance
Because I love you                     Model Romance

Thanks for reading writergray@aol.com


                           Don't Want You Back-Part 13
                               'Try as we may?'
                              By Grayson S Vellar


"I know why they were doing it," I removed my fingers and just looked at
him to see what all of this meant to him. I was half laughing as I suddenly
realized I knew him this well and there was no questions in my mind he
understood. He was so cute as he looked at me astonished realizing how much
I pay attention to everything. I smiled at him as I stood up from the
piano. I held out my hand to him to help him up which he took eagerly. We
walked back down together in complete confidence that this was who we were
to be. Even facing Keith was going to go better weather he liked it or not!

Part 13

"Well Paul has friends in high places and let just say that Manerva is not
going to get away with it," Keith said while sitting on the couch. Kevin
and I could hear him saying this and both smiled to each other. I because I
was realizing he was still willing to help us, and Kevin for the fact that
Keith was right.

"She better not or we better start thinking about rebuilding," Nick said
taking a very determined pose next to him.

"You guys have nothing to worry about, as I said before, I am going to see
her this afternoon. But, I would suggest you all take a few days off and
kind of lay low," Keith said standing up.

"We can't," Kevin said as we hit the bottom step. Every head in the room
snapped in our direction. Keith was the only one looking at us with anger
written on his face.

"You have to. You know you do. If you push this you will get yourself hurt
and I won't have that," Keith said turning to me.  "Michael you alone are
now under a lot of scrutiny from the public. You will have to watch what
you say and do," Keith said turning to walk away I felt Kevin's hand
tighten on mine.

"You have no right to act like this towards him or anyone else in my home,"
Kevin shouted at him. I suddenly cringed inside thinking of the
implications. Here these two have been friends. Here, that one word
bothered me now the most. This at one point was their home. They had shared
this home. It was theirs.

"Oh really, I have no right? I have been with you since the days before you
joined this group. I have been the one to helped you when you needed it and
now you turn your back on me for a fuck." Keith shouted intensifying the
last word spinning around to face Kevin. The rest of the room was silent as
Kevin let go of my hand and stepped down to meet Keith face to face.

"Just because after all these years of you pining away for me you finally
get the balls to say something..  I'm supposed to jump at the great chance
to be with you. Now that's a fucking joke!" Kevin shouted directly into
Keith's face.

"I came here today to be honest with you and this is what I get! Half my
life has been spent being your lackey and now you turn on me! I hate this I
hate what we have become," Keith said. "I always thought." Kevin cut him
off as he began again.

"Since we were 12, you couldn't be honest with me? Now that I have the one,
the one I want mind you. You come here and confess your love. I bet you had
no idea everyone else knew before I did." Kevin paused looking around at
the guys one by one as they shook their head yes.  "I felt close to you! I
trusted you and you never trusted my heart or me! Last night I realized
what you thought about me. I realized it just after Michael gave me the
ring; you wanted to suddenly talk to me. Tears were streaming down your
face. That broke my heart because at one time you were my all. You were my
everything!" Kevin paused as he hands began to shake.  "I wanted you like
nothing in this world. But I grew, I changed, and you finally decided to
catch up with me. Too bad it was so late Keith. We would have made a good
couple at first. But, like with everything else we would have had this
fight or one like it and we would have separated," Kevin said pausing with
tears streaming down his face.  "All of this because we were cowards and
could never say the words. All of this hurt after a lifetime spent so close
I could never trust someone like I trust you." Kevin said wiping tears from
his cheeks.

"It's true I was a coward all these years. I see what your saying and I
know it was my fault. I should have told you or showed you. But, Kevin you
are my best friend and you are everything to me. We have known each other
for so long. Hell, I would not even be here right now if you have not
convinced me to come out to Florida. I was engaged to her Kevin. I was
engaged to Lisa for 6 months and I gave it all up for you, to be with
you. Now, all I have done in a 24-hour period is throw it all away. I love
you Kevin and I won't ever stop having those feelings for you. I know I can
work through this and I know we can get back to the beginning. Our
friendship will still be just as strong. But over all my love for you will
fade in time. At least I can say I admit it, and never regret it again,"
Keith said taking a seat across the room.

"Can I say something here," I asked, as Kevin looked at me horrified. I
leaned into his lips and kissed him gently before I started to speak.

"Trey, you are his true friend his brother his confidant. I bet you never
think about how highly he speaks of you and yet you stand there thinking
your losing him to me. It will never happen. If I have anything to do with
it, you are going to be here for life. I need someone to talk to when he is
being an ass. You are the one who knows him best. I appreciate the love you
show him. Just realize I love him too. I want you to love him but there is
a line between the love of a brother and the love of a lover. If you ever
cross that line I will cut you off at the knees," I finished sternly
shocking him and sending AJ into a laughing fit.

Kevin grabbed me into his arms and whispered into my ear. "He actually
looks scared for a guy that could put you through a wall in 2 seconds
flat," I grinned as I realized the look on Keith's face.

"I can respect that," Keith said looking up at my face as I turned it to
one of seriousness again.

"By the way my name is Keith, only people who are close to me call me that
any more," Keith said making me grin at him.

"Group hug!" AJ yelled jumping up and throwing himself at Keith. We soon
all laughed and hugged and made some of the wounds seem less important.

"So, what do we do now," Nick asked.

"We all have a pool party and drink until we can't walk," AJ said in a low
laugh.

"I'll pass on that, I have to go see LeighAnn this afternoon," Brian said
receiving a groan from Howie and AJ.

"When you gonna realize she's a lesbian Brian," Nick asked.

"When you realize you want me," Brian shot back shutting him up
instantly. "Really, I do have to go take care of some business with them
tonight," Brian said taking a step towards the front door.

"Just be careful," I caught myself saying before I could stop the words.

"Now you and Kevin are starting to talk alike," Brian said over his
shoulder as he stepped out the door.

"Woo hooo, I can't wait to see all of you in swim suits," Glen said licking
his lips giggling. I laughed realizing he was joking but Kevin's smile
turned to a frown.

"He's joking," I whispered to Kevin who in turn jumped back into the
conversation realizing he had been caught.

"Who said anything about wearing a swim suit," Kevin said in a serious tone
of voice. AJ turned to meet his gaze as everyone laughed at the expression
on his face.

"Kevin suddenly has a sense of humor? I guess that mean we keep you
around," AJ said staring Glen.

"Sorry to eat and run guys but I have some work to do. Have to see a woman
about some blackmail charges," Keith said hugging each of us before heading
out the door.


Judy Adams...

"Okay Jack, explain yourself," Judy said walking into his home without
notice. She had been pacing in the driveway for the last half an
hour. Unbeknownst to the two lovers she was here. They had been spending
this day inside alone. Jack lay on the couch clad only in his red and black
boxers with Tony lying between his legs resting comfortably. After last
evening, the two had decided to hide out. Neither wanted to deal with
Francine. Neither wanted to deal with the world outside these four walls.

"Judy," Jack questioned, as he lay half-awake. They had finished eating
breakfast, and after here they lay nestled in the safety of his home.

"Jack! What the hell is this?" Judy shrieked realizing he was lying there
with another man.


Kevin's Back Yard

The backyard was set all we had to do was get along for the
afternoon. Keith, Brian, and Nick were gone. That only left Howie, Glen,
AJ, Kevin, and myself. I felt comfortable here even more so than I had when
I first moved to Florida. I mean who wouldn't when they have an instant
family like this one to fall into.

'Family? Now there was a concept to get a grip on.' I had been thinking
before all of this to move home to get away from everything I knew. To move
back to live with Liz and Jeff would have meant I would have never met
Kevin. But, my determination had been my best gift. The guys loved me as
much as he does. I have my love, my true love, to contend with these
days. A quote popped into my ear as I lay next to Kevin on the doublewide
lounge chair.

'If love were but a poetic word it would be thy name. For in you there are
the moon and stars of my night's skies forever more. I knew not what the
possibilities of love were until your words rang clear to mine own
heart. For in your words those truths have struck the mind of this lonely
man. May love bind this bleeding soul so that it may live on in the
happiness that ensues from your very touch...'

It was a quote given to me when I asked my mother the ultimate
question. "What is true love supposed to be like? I know I have never felt
it. But, what is it really like?" At the time, it was a rhetorical
question. But, it was those types of questions that had made me who I am
today. I always wanted to know how to feel and what something felt like. I
now knew the words were true. I leaned over and kissed Kevin on the cheek
to which he opened his eyes in surprise.

"What was that for?" he asked smiling at me.

"If love were but a poetic word it would be thy name. For in you there are
the moon and stars of my night's skies forever more. I knew not what the
possibilities of love were until your words rang clear to mine own
heart. For in your words those truths have struck the mind of this lonely
man. May love bind this bleeding soul so that it may live on in the
happiness that ensues from your very touch." I said laying my head on his
chest looking down at our feet intertwined.

He wrapped his arms around me tight as I looked at Howie who was smiling at
the two of us. Glen had gone into the house for some reason he was not
there with him. I could see him pacing back and forth in the kitchen area
of the house just inside the window view. He was on the phone he was
frowning as he spoke. No doubt, it was to be some elaborate problem that
all of us would be involved in. I was confused but settle on the idea of
enjoying Kevin touch as he ran his fingers through my short hair.

"Thin eyes are the keeper to loves gate. I wish never to enter in but only
to gaze into your beauty. May my life be spent with this feeling forever
more. My only wish it to swim in the emotions of love within the pools to
your soul," Kevin said causing AJ to suddenly sit up and lower his
sunglasses looking over the top of them at us. Howie had the same look on
his face as Fatima walked out to join us next to the pool. AJ had called
her machine earlier leaving a message for her to come over. At first, he
was concerned a bit when he didn't reach her. I spent the remaining time
watching him try to secretly worry.

"What did I miss?" Fatima asked as she sat down on the lounge next to AJ
surprising him as he grinned from ear to ear.

"Kevin just turned all romantic and mushy. I think he and Michael are
rewriting Romeo and Juliet or something," AJ said as she lay down next to
him covering her eyes with her sunglasses.

"Really did you learn anything from it," Fatima asked sending me over the
edge with laughter.

"Goddess" AJ said leaning over the side of his chair towards her.

"Yes," Fatima said still not moving in her chair.

"Would thou love a humble man," AJ asked seductively. "I beg a forgiveness
from you. May you forgive this humble man for his past short coming and
love him as he loves you?" AJ said stealing a quick kiss on the cheek from
her and lying back down. Fatima didn't move she only smiled from where she
lay. I was shocked he could make such a romantic statement and
gesture. Especially since none of us knew, weather or not they were
together.


Brian at LeighAnne's house...

"Jerry is that you?" Brian asked into his cell phone.

"Yeah Bri," Jerry responded.

"Oh, good I was hoping I would catch you before Fatima did," Brian paused
looking up at Leigh grinning. She saw that he was happy. She knew him well
enough to know when he was. They had been together in the press' eyes for
quite some time it was inevitable that they would know a lot about one
another. She urged him to go on with his call by gesturing with her hand to
do what had to be done.

"Jerry I was wondering if you would come to dinner with me and some friend
this evening. It should be a lot of fun and maybe even get you to smile
again," Brian said thinking this was the best way to get the past and
present to meet.

"Okay what time should I be there and where," Jerry asked.

"Monet's over on 15th and Chestnut, about 7:30 sound good," Brian said
hoping he would say yes.

"Sure, what should I wear," Jerry asked lazily as he had barely gotten off
the couch just second before Brian had called. He had been sitting there
all morning thinking of Rowan. Thinking of a past, he wished he could
change. Thinking of a man that he wished he had never lost.

He knew his relationship with Brian was something he was feeling out of
stress. He had dreamed a man to take care of him. To comfort him from all
his woes and to take away the darkness that had shrouded him for so
long. He needed a man to make him live again. He also knew that with Brian
he would never be truly able to freely love him. This was his dream and his
nightmare all along. In the dream, he had been warned that it was almost
there. It was almost in his reach it was everything he wanted but he could
never have it all because it would always be left in the dark. He wanted
the whole picture, the whole dream, and the idea of love and
expression. His dream was now looked deeply at, it had told him that from
the beginning. But, to tell Brian when he cared for him already was
something he could not do.

"Jerry you still there," Brian asked after a long pause.

"Yeah sorry just thinking again," Jerry said.

"I know Jerry and we are going to make it all better tonight," Brian
whispered as Leigh's eyes bugged out of her head. She thought he was going
to tell him everything. She thought he was going to blow his chance to make
this man truly happy.

"What do you mean?" Jerry asked.

"Just that I understand the thinking game," Brian said smiling. "Look I am
at a friends house right now, so I gotta run. But, I look forwards to
seeing you tonight," Brian said his good-byes and hung up staring at both
LeighAnn and Dee. Who only stared back "What?" He asked as the two giggled
at him.


Jack Lyons' House...

"Jack answer me!" Judy shouted taking a seat across from the two now frozen
in place, and in fear.

"Powerful men have secret all the time Judy," Jack simply answered.

"Oh," Judy said in a whisper thinking about her suddenly barging in. This
had all been a bad idea. She had left Francine alone in her house. Alone to
tend to herself as she came to face this man.

"Judy, are you in there please say something," Jack said not moving even
still.

"I just never thought of you as..." Judy began and turned red seeing for
the first time that Tony was wearing nothing at all.

"You mind turning around so I can get up," Tony asked.

"No not at all," Judy said turning her back to them now facing the
fireplace.


Orange County Corrections Facility (Female Jail Housing)...

"Manerva you have a visitor," A young woman said, as she opened the cell
door to escort the woman they had all grown to hate to the visiting area.

"Who is it," Manerva asked not moving from her bunk. She had been laying
here since the Ox of a cellmate had vacated the area to go workout.

"Who the hell should care. Now get your ass up and out!" The younger woman
shouted showing her the baton in her hand.

"Forget I asked. Jesus just because everyone is pointing the finger at me
and thinking I did something wrong you think you can treat me..." She was
cut off.

"Keep it up and I will have you gagged and locked up tight," Shirley said
as Manerva caught site of her name badge.

"Shirley, it would be wise to treat me dignified I still have friends in
high places," Manerva said stepping out of the cell. Neither spoke another
word as they headed down the long corridor leading to an outer chamber
where she would have access to the room where she would meet he
unidentified visitor.

Shirley to say the least had never thought about Manerva as a good person
or even having friends. However, it was never an issue with any other
prisoners before to even entertain the idea of higher powers. This one was
pure hell on the nerves. This one was Manerva the bitch everyone wanted to
see hung from the top of the cell at night. They had put her in the cell
with Mamma last evening. They had all hoped mamma would do her in. They had
all hoped for the woman to make things right. They hated this woman for her
intent alone. But no one really knew what to do. Mamma was just that, a
mother and to see her lose her son over a worthless bitch like Manerva
would be bad as well.

Shirley led Manerva into the small room where Keith sttood silently waiting
for her arrival. As soon as Manerva saw him, she turned to walk back to her
cell. However, Shirley would have nothing of the sort as she slammed the
heavy door shut before she could exit the room.

"Let me out!" Manerva shouted at Shirley who only grinned from ear to ear.

"I take it you know who I am," Keith asked.

"Your Kevin's fuck buddy that's who you are," Manerva said whirling around
to face him.

"No I'm not. I am his friend however and I wanted to talk to you to find
out what to expect form all of this," Keith said sitting calmly down trying
not to blow the situation. He knew from her demeanor there was little hope
of making this work. But still in his heart, he hoped he could find out
what to expect.

"Go fuck Kevin or something. I want to be left alone," Manerva said facing
him directly as she lit a cigarette. Her face was stern her demeanor was
strong.

"Why would I want to do something like that?" Keith asked in a feigned
innocent tone of voice. The only reaction Keith could see on her face was
the twisted expression of hatred.

"Because your all alike," Manerva said as she stood up a headed back
towards the door.  "Ask Glen what this is all about. That little fuck knew
about it all! He was there from the beginning. For matter that so was
Michael!" She was pissed. She did not intend to give up her story. There
was little to tell really. When things did not go the way, she wanted them
to she decided to make them up. If she was not going to get her way, she
may as well make it worse for everyone. Why go down for this without taking
everyone else with her.

"If we were all alike, I guess everyone would happen to believe your
innocent too," Keith said trying to redirect the conversation.

"If you must know, I did everything they say I did and I am going to do
more. Stick around you might learn a thing or two," Manerva said as the
door opened and began walking out of the room.


Kevin House an hour and half later...

"Keith what's wrong?" Glen asked as he walked out onto the back patio where
we all had been laying out.

"She saw right through me. She won't give it up. She admits it all.." Keith
said trailing off, as he sat down on the end of the lounger Kevin and I
were cuddling in.

"What do you mean buddy?" Kevin said leaning up as he realized the
situation.

"She won't budge. She is going to make this hard on everyone." Keith said
thinking heavily as he sighed in defeat.

"What happened?" Glen asked breaking the silence with the one question he
needed to ask.

"She said you knew how to stop all of this," Keith said looking at him
square in the eyes.

"Me how would I know?" Glen asked ask and I knew he had no idea.

"She said you were there from the beginning. She said you knew why she
started this. She said Michael was there from the beginning too," Keith
said calmly. He didn't want to say the last part but he had to. He had to
know who was involved. If she was making this more than what it was. He had
to know everyone.

"She started this as a way to get control over the project. She went over
the edge some where though." Glen said thinking hard. "She wanted Michael
out of the way. He was merrily the pawn in all of this," Glen said drifting
off.

"I have no idea what you two did," I said trying to figure it all out.

"We, didn't do this she did," Glen said.

"She was planning this originally with you," I said.

"She wanted the project originally, for my gain in the company," Glen
said. "With Miliken out of the way and her as the next partner in line we
would have free rain in the company," Glen said thinking back.

"But what changed? When did you all talk about it?" Keith asked gesturing
towards me and then Glenn. I was flabbergasted; I had nothing to do with
this.

"You're saying all of this like I was involved. Let's get this straight I
had nothing to do with any of this. I contacted Fatima because they were
trying to make the video go badly! I tried to make it work. I wanted this
video. I needed it to make things right in my life. I had to prove to
myself that I was worth..." Kevin threw his arms around me as I was racked
with sobs coming form deep within.

"He's right you know." Glen said pausing. "He had nothing to do with
it. They both had me backed into a corner one way or another. I had them
under control, or at least I thought I did. I mean when you look at the
situation I was being ripped apart from two directions," Glen began as
everyone listened intently to what caused all of this.

"Miliken wanted me to be his lackey because he had found out about
Manerva. What I didn't know until just yesterday, is when he started to
play against her it was because she was cornering him. I have no idea with
what, but he was. I can see it now. But at the time, I had no idea what was
truly going on. He was having me do his dirty work. Hiring people and
getting dirt on them to control them," Glen stopped looking directly at
me. "It went to far when he wanted you gone. The only way they could
control you was through me. I had no choice but to follow. They knew too
much and I had done too much of what they wanted already.  Making me the
scapegoat was not that far from being an option." Glen said making me
realize he never meant to hurt me he had too. Kevin sqqueezed me hard as I
began to speak.

"So you took their offer of the job and pushed me out to get what you
wanted?" I asked.

"Not exactly. I was being forced to from both sides and there were no
options to take at that point so I was ready to turn on both of them I had
it all set up. But again, what I didn't know was Fatima had already gotten
to him. She had already set all of this up. I had no idea until he was in
that conference room with us," Glen said looking back at Howie who now sat
up next to him holding his hand.

"So he wanted you to get rid of me. She offered you the position and you
just wanted out. But with everything that had been done you had to make
them turn on each other?" I asked.

"Kind of. I was trying to set it up when you finally started winning. You
played the role far better than I would have. You out smarted all of us,
you called reinforcements in," Glen said pointing to Fatima with his free
hand.  "When she brought the guys in Manerva and Miliken suddenly back
stepped and wanted to cover their tracks as far as I can tell. That is why
at the restaurant they tried their last steps in regaining control. Manerva
tried to fire you yes. But she was trying to make it look like me to make
the rest of you think I was setting all of this up. But, Michael was to
smart and realized the one thing I over looked. The stationary was hers and
hers alone. No one in the office other than her used it. Miliken on the
other hand tried another approach he tried to offer you his services and
dropped it all making it look like it was her all along. Truth is they both
were up to their ears in trouble." Glen said leaning back against Howie's
awaiting chest.

"Oh," was all I replied with as I let everything set in. Glen continued
from where he now lay.

"But with what happened at the restaurant. Manerva suddenly changed
somehow. She got caught in the middle of all of it. She tried to get out of
it by getting ride of both of us," Glen said looking down at his hands. "I
have come to a lot of conclusions the last few days and I really believe
she wanted us both out of the way from the beginning. She was using both of
us Michael," Glen said as Howie wrapped him in his arms holding him close.
"She was playing a game. When she was about to get caught red handed, she
blamed whoever was in the way. She even in some ways blamed the guys and
Fatima," Glen and slipping off in deep thought again.

"She played you both against one another. I can see it now but I just wish
I had of thought of it when you first contacted me," Fatima said walking
out to join us. She walked over to AJ and sat close to him wrapping her arm
around his shoulder. This was it; I had to know what was going on with
these two all day they had been close like this.

"So, what's with the two of you," I asked daringly.

"Same thing as before," AJ said leaning over and kissing Fatima.

"Same as before? You never kissed me before last night," Fatima said
laughing at him.

"Well, true to us it is the same as just before you dropped me off at
home. But to them I guess I'm just teasing," AJ said kissing her again.

"Excuse me but that kiss is not solving our problem," Nick said standing up
and heading back into the house.  We watched as he picked up the nearest
phone. All of us were curious to see what was about to happen.

"Johnnie Wright please," Nick said into the phone.

"Johnnie Wright?" I asked.

"Nick has his ways," Kevin said.

"Johnnie, this is Nick Carter, we need your no nonsense balls to the wall
kind of dealings on a situation we're facing," Nick said walking up the
stairs.

"Since when did he get so business like?" Howie asked astonished at the
situation.

"Since oh about a year ago when I started to teach him a thing or two,"
Kevin said pulling his sunglasses back on and leaning back into the
sunlight.

"Cuddle-fest is over, time to go to work. We need to speak with Jack and
get our name out of the muck before it goes there, from all of this," Nick
said walking up to Trey, Kevin, and I.

"Hello?" a woman's voice shouted through the house. "Kevin are you in
here?"

Everyone except for Glen and I had a confused look on our faces. Kevin was
suddenly filled with confusion and a sullen look crossed through his eyes.

"Mom?" Kevin questioned before heading into the house leaving the rest of
us outside.

To Be Continued...

Talk to you all soon... Let me know what you think writergray@aol.com