Date: Tue, 30 May 2000 22:19:30 EDT
From: WriterGray@aol.com
Subject: Don't want you back-part 9 'Mother May I'

If you are under the age of 18 or live in a place where it is illegal to
read such homosexual materials please leave now. When I say celebrity, I
mean a person who is famous in reality. That does no imply anything of the
sexuality of the people that I intend to portray.

Authors notes:

Well all thank you for the E-mail. Thank you especially goes out to all the
authors who are writing out there right now. I still read a lot of what is
posted.

He's all I need.
Lonely Lance.
We admitted it.
Waking up with a vengeance.
My surprise romance.
Lance's Love
Magic can be real.
Brian's seven seas of loneliness.
Truth of a guardian angel.

I am just as much a fan as I am an author. Keep up the great work and keep
on inspiring me to write.

I promised sex and well it is in this installment. I am actually about 4
installments ahead of all of you right now and it get interesting to say
the least. I have about 8 more installments planned and I am just adding a
lot of detail to them now. For those of you who want more for Brian and
Jerry there is going to be an interesting twist to their relationship I
begin it here but you will have to wait a while to see where it is going.

Again thank you to those of you who wrote me. All e-mail on this story is
welcome so let me know what you think.

Comments or questions send to writergray@aol.com


                       Don't' Want You Back-Part 9
                             Mother May I
                          By Grayson S Vellar


Last time:

"I still have not heard from my mother since I told her about me back in
December. I really wish she would accept me, but with my family, one never
knows where you stand. After my dad passed away she pretty much closed
herself off to the outside influences of the world and became a different
person than I had ever known. There is so much going on in their lives now
it seems pointless to think of her and this distance she has placed between
us but," Kevin's eyes filled with tears and it was all I could do to pull
him to me.

"Kevin you need to call her and tell her how this makes you feel," I knew
it sounded simplistic but there was only one way to make all of this
better. He looked up at me in an instant and smiled. I felt suddenly that I
had created a monster of sorts and knew he was going to do just that.

Kevin let me go and raced to the front door. As he threw it opened, I
caught up to him only to feel fear and regret for urging him to call
her. 'What if I'm wrong I thought as he made his way through the house.


Part 9

He stood silent looking out across the front lawn. There in the driveway
stood my Explorer above all things in the line of sight. He took a deep
breath and faced me as my heart raced. Here was my moment of truth, here
was our destiny.

"I love you," Kevin said taking in another sharp breath before
continuing. "I have put off calling my mother for quite some time now. I
just have never figured out how to tell here what I feel. If I tell her the
truth I loss her. Before you came into my life there was never going to be
anything to fill that gap," Kevin said stepping back into the entryway
facing me with tears streaming down his face.

"I never meant to push for you to call here Kevin. I was just trying to
help," I said looking down at the tiles in the floor.

"I know you would never ask me to make a decision on this. Frankly, no one
can ask me to make that decision. It is mine to make when I choose. I want
you to know something though." Kevin said placing his fingers under my chin
and pulling my gaze to his. "I love you and when I am ready to tell anyone
else you are going to be there. You are going to be the one I ask to
support me through all of this," Kevin said leaning in and kissing me on
the lips. "I love you." Kevin said before he began to lead us through the
house to the staircase.


"Michael I know you have been through this house of mine. But, there is
still one place you have not seen," Kevin said walking backward leading me
up the stairs. As we reached the top landing. I knew the one place we had
not ventured was his domain, I was anticipating this world of his. He began
to lead me into his office, his personal space. This was his domicile. This
was his safe haven. Often times in this room of cherry wood and plaster he
hid away from the guys, his family and time itself.

"Normally the only reason I would have not let you into this part of my
world is because it has become my second skin, I work here, I think here, I
just hid here. But, from now on there is one who I want to be with me here
and anywhere else I am," Kevin said pausing at the doorway. I was without
words as he stood facing me we had come a long way in the past two days and
it appeared this relationship finally meant something more than just
healing previous wounds.

"Kevin I don't know what to say," I quietly replied while staring at Brian.

"Don't say anything just come inside with me I have something I need to
finish," Kevin said taking me in by the hand.

Soon enough, he was completing his task. With phone in hand he began to
dial his all too familiar home number, which he had grown accustomed to
over the years. Ann answered on the second ring.

"Hello," Anne answered.

"Mom is that you," Kevin asked knowing it was the whole time.

"Yes, it's me Kevin so you have made you decision I see. Or rather hear
since Howie is crying like a spoiled child," Anne said in a venomous tone
of voice.

"Actually mom I have made my decision and I must say Michael would never
asked me to choose," Kevin paused to see me look up at him at the mention
of my name. "I choose Michael, I choose, Howie, Brian, Aunt Jackie, and the
rest of the guys. I choose the family I have made for myself," Kevin heard
a gasp on the other end of the phone as it went dead.

Kevin had finally done it. He had made his decision to live his life. He
was both relieved and heart broken. But, at the same time, he now had
me. Everything made sense to him when he took the time to remember he had
me. I let out a heavy sigh as he saw the two of us staring at one another
out of the corner of my eye in the mirror. It was something that I had been
wishing for a few days ago. But with everything running the rocky course it
had, there had been no time to smell the roses and look at the
surroundings.

We began with a kiss. It was to be our very own long lingering kiss. We
would be able to look at one another and give this kiss without touching
lips without saying words. My mind thought of our past our future our lives
so far and I realized it was right. After all the thinking and worrying and
self-referencing to matters of the heart. This was the man this is what I
want. This is the time to take my heart and give it unto him.

As we broke apart, there was a silence between us. We never broke eye
contact as we gravitated out of the office and towards the bedroom. I
pulled Kevin along towards the bed as he wondered if it was the right time
for this to happen. I squashed any questions in his mind as he placed his
index finger under my chin pulling my face up to meet his gaze.

"I love you, I trust you, I want you here and now," I said, continuing
towards the bed.

"I love you even still, I love you even more," Kevin said.

"I've loved you all along hoping for this to happen. I have loved you from
afar waiting 'till you would let me be here in your heart," I said lying
back onto the bed pulling Kevin down on top of me. Slowly and gently, we
removed one another's clothes.

We lay kissing embracing for what seemed like hours. Just the two of us, no
schedule, no time to watch, and no prying eyes. The only sound we each
heard was the sound of the others beating heart. Nothing to be broken
nothing to be mended. Just the two of us, taking the time to make ourselves
completely into one with passion from our hearts.

I rolled over with Kevin in my arms not releasing him until we were
completely flipped over. He was now in control he was on top.  As he drew
his legs wide up into a squatting position sitting on my stomach, a look of
confusion passed though my eyes. He immediately shushed me with fingers to
lips trying to show me it was okay. I immediately kissed Kevin's lips
showing him that it was all right if he was ready to give this to me. Kevin
and I had never discussed it before but he wanted to give of himself to me.

As the kiss of lips and tongue ended Kevin began to kiss his way down my
body all the while trying to relax all of his own muscles. He knew he could
make it easier for both of us just by being prepared. He kissed down my
stomach and stopped just above my patch of curly pubic hair. As he looked
up to me, he saw the happiness and contentment he loved to see in me
eyes. We had now as our time and placce, we were living it, and we knew
each other well enough to know this was our time. Kevin loved me; I felt it
so deep within. He felt it himself he wanted this, it wasn't just me he
wanted to please; it was for himself as well. We were always the ones
giving to another, it was time for us, and it was time for now.

Kevin point of view.

Back to my task at hand I slowly kissed lower smelling Michael's hair
feeling its tickles around my chin and cheeks. I felt like I could not get
enough of this man as I memorized every detail of the feeling. The hairs
wafted around my nose as I continued down to my erotic prize. Michael's
shaft was long and tall as I kept my eyes closed feeling my way along with
my mouth rubbing gently along his shaft. The head felt full and ripe as my
lips grazed it. Michael let out a small sigh of anticipation as I ran my
tongue gently around the glandular pleasure.

With my eyes still closed, I ran his tongue around the head teasing him
mercilessly. Michael thrust up into my mouth I knew he felt as if he was
going to explode immediately. In all of Michael's life, I was sure he had
never felt such intense sensations. His whole body quivered as my tongue
made contact against the underside of the shaft and head.

Michael's point of view.

Instinctively I reached out to Kevin running my hands across his shoulders
and trailing down onto the sides of Kevin's head. My fingers brushed
through his short curly hair.

"That feels so good Kevin. Where did you." I had no time to finish my
question as Kevin swallowed me to the hilt. All 7 and a half inches now
resided deep in Kevin's mouth and throat.

"Forge... I asked... ooh Kevin's that feels sooooo." I was immediately
without the feeling as Kevin began to slide up my body kissing me
longingly. I tried to roll us over on the beds to return the sensation to
Kevin but was stopped by his resistance.

Kevin's point of view.  "Oh no you don't I'm not done yet." I said, while
grinding my cock on top of Michael. I wanted this. I wanted it more than
any thing in my life. My hand slipped back behind me and Michael felt me
grab hold of wet hard cock, he took a deep breath in.

The tightness that surrounded Michael shocked him as I gently began to
slide over his rod. Michael's face turned to one of bliss as the sensation
engulfed his entire body. Never before had either of us felt such
things. Never before had I been so consumed by the feeling another could
give me.

His long cock was now buried hard into my ass as I felt my body exploding
from the inside out. My cock stood rock solid as he rubbed gently against
my prostate. I felt each breath he took as his cock swelled to its fullest
pleasurable width. I felt my body relaxing as I began to rock harder along
the shaft of the man I loved.

"Michael you feel so good inside of me," I said looking down as Michael
realizing he had tears in his eyes.

Michael's point of view..

"It could never be like this with anyone else Kevin. You make me so. " I
started to say until Kevin lifted himself completely up and slid back down
again. I took in a sharp breath of air as he continued his torrent of
motion sending tendrils of pleasure throughout me body. Kevin's head was
thrown back as his own hardness began to expand to its limits. I reached
out and grabbing hold running my fingers along the edges of the monstrous
head.

"Ooh God Michael. That feels so awesome!" Kevin shouted.

"Slow down Kevin I want this to last," I breathed out as he collapsed on
top of me. It had only been five minutes at the most but to us, it seemed
like forever. The bliss was too much to contend with for time to
matter. The emotion was more than either of us had felt in our life times
so far. I looked into Kevin's eyes for a moment and we kissed until he was
no longer impaled by me.

I rolled the two of us over now with myself on top. Kevin smiled back at me
as I kissed his tender lips and rolled us back over with him now back on
top.  Our eyes met again as I began to lift my own legs vying for the
attention they so wanted. To be lifted into the air as my lover plunged
deep into his soul was my only desire. Kevin took his time and recognized
the desire. Kevin kissed each calve that rested on his shoulders. His
unsure, untrained ideas were coming into focus. He had dreamed of such
desires he had wanted such equal gifts.


Kevin's point of view..

I began to slide inside, feeling the warmth. My lover's eyes spoke
thousands of emotions as mine did the same. We had now become one not only
in heart but also in soul. We lay mingling together in a mix of emotions
and lust. I sunk deeper into the bliss as my entire shaft sank completely
inside. I could feel it completely within as the warmth surrounded my cock
and filled my heart with small beats of passion. As I began to withdraw,
Michael's breath was stolen away. I plunged in and retreated repeatedly as
I felt his heat rising from within.

Michael's point of view..

"Oh God Kevin that's it!... That's the spot... Harder! Please baby!" I was
shouting, at the top of his lungs, as Kevin's dick drilled it's way inside
of me.

"I love you so much Kevin. No one has ever made me feel this way before.."
I said as he wildly looked at me and raised my legs higher into the air.

We had been facing each other now for 10 minutes. I was no virgin. He had
been with several guys before. But, the emotions and passion had never made
us so openly submit to the love we felt.

"Michael I'm going to cum.." Kevin said as he lowered my legs leaning in
for one last kiss. He lifted himself up as I wrapped my legs around his
waist. I felt him slid in farther this time as he slammed down inside of me
one last time. His cock hit rock bottom sending me into my own torrent of
cum as my assumed to be dead cock burst with pleasure along with his. I
loved the feeling I never wanted it to end as I held my legs tight around
Kevin holding him inside of me. We lay there for another 30 minutes in the
euphoria. We had made the moment our own.

"We need to get ready or we will be late to dinner," Kevin said secretly
grinning to himself knowing dinner was only half of what we would be doing
this evening. I knew had set up everything for us and Howie knew what was
about to happen. But in me heart, I hoped even still that it would be just
a quiet evening of romance.

"Is it that time already?" I asked looking over at the clock. "Oh my God
it's already 6:30 and we haven't even started getting ready," Kevin said
letting go of me and heading into the adjoining bathroom.

"We still have enough time the clock in here is set fifteen minutes ahead
isn't it," I said turning on the lights taking one last look at the bed we
had just lain in.

Kevin soon was in and out of the shower as I joined him. He rushed through
washing up as I took my time. He smiled at me and kissed me gently as he
exited the shower. I tried to stop his rush and pull him back inside the
shower with me.  But it was too late Kevin had already gone into the room
with the bed that we shared and no doubt in my mind he was tearing through
the closet looking for clothes to wear.

To my surprise when I entered the bedroom there was no such act taking
place. Instead, I found Kevin laying back on the bed holding a small silver
wrapped box in his hands with his eyes closed tightly. I had no idea what
was about to happen. What I did know was a present when I saw one.

"Kevin, are you all right?" I asked sliding up next to him on the bed.

"Better than I ever thought in this life that I would be," Kevin said
gently handing me the box.

"Latter baby we really need to get ready and besides I have to give you a
present too," I said teasing him handing the box back.

"Come on Michael you have given me so much already. Besides, I want you to
wear this tonight," Kevin said opening the box and showing me a Sterling
Silver bracelet.

"It's beautiful," I whispered. "But you still can't see your present until
after dinner," I said, knowing the present was in my duffel bag in the
corner.

"Then so be it, but your still going to wear it aren't you," Kevin asked
trying to place it around my right wrist.

"Of course I will," I said getting up from the bed and standing looking
down at him as he closed the clasp.

I looked down at the bracelet on my wrist and was in complete awe of the
small silver herringbone chain. My eyes filled with tears as my mind turned
the event over and over in my head.

Across Town at Jerry's loft...

"Brian going out tonight would be the most wonderful thing you could offer
me. But, I must remind you of who we are," Jerry said thinking of the press
that would be hovering around the two.

"Jerry there is no need to worry tonight. It has all been taken care of. I
won't let them degrade us. We just started here but I know what I, correct
that we feel. I won't let them make a mockery of this," Brian said kissing
Jerry and his hands that had been wrapped together for the last fifteen
minutes.

"I still can't believe a dream can be so real," Jerry said thinking back to
the dream again.

"If I had not followed my dreams I would have never been here in the first
place," Brian said thinking about how he had dreamed of loving and being
loved.

"My dream of us was not all that pleasant Brian," Jerry said looking off
into space as he recaptured the feels of the last week. "It was as if I was
showing myself I would never be able to fully tell you and show you how I
feel for you," Jerry said turning to face Brian on the leather couch.

"You might not, I might not. There may be times when we are so far apart we
will have to wait to tell each other how we truly feel. But, if we are
adults and we act as such then we will always believe in what is right. I
believe I deserve love just as you do. I believe I can give you the love
you want and I know you want to show me the same respect. In time we will
be able, to show each other what we mean to one another. The only thing I
ask is that your patient," Brian said looking at the coffee table in front
of him. He was still not sure this was the man for him to be with. But,
this was a good start for them to be honest to be secure in where they were
headed.

"Brian I have not been with guys for a few months and then they realize it
is not right. Rowan was my greatest love and he left me when he realized he
was not gay at all. Family upbringing wouldn't allow him to love me the way
I needed to be loved. Now look, don't think I am just going to up and leave
you. I would never do that we have come this far and this is right I can
feel it," Jerry said drifting off in thought. He remembered Rowan he
remembered how he felt to love a man and never feel the love returned. He
thought he was doing something wrong for all the time they were together.

"I love you," Jerry said to Rowan the night before he left him for good.

"I know you do Jerry, and I wish I could tell you the same thing. It is not
that I don't want to," Rowan paused wiping the tears from his eyes as he
continued. "My family would never understand. I know what I feel for you
feels right. But, I also know it's wrong. I don't want you to hurt Jerry. I
would never want to hurt you. I just know that we can never really be
together all the time like we both want. It is a sin it is against
everything my family wants for me. My mother has me set up to go out with
girl still. I'm 26 years old and she wants to set me up. She wants grand
children for Christ sakes," Rowan said crying into Jerry chest.

Brian watched as Jerry sat in silent thought. It was apparent to Brian,
that Rowan meant a lot to him. It was so apparent that Brian was no longer
sure this was the right place to be. If Jerry loved the man Rowan so much
still what would become of them if he could not let him in, and get past
the past.

"Brian one day we are going to say the words I love you and I just hope you
mean them as I do. They have become hard for me to say and mean. I say them
to you in my dreams but you were right earlier when you asked me to give
you time. How can either of us love one another without knowing who we
truly are?" Jerry asked more to himself than Brian.

"Well, for now let's just play it by ear. I think we both need time to get
to know each other. I think going to this dinner tonight will be the best
thing for us," Brian said standing up facing the direction of the door.

"I'm going to go home and change. I will be back here in thirty minutes to
pick you up Jerr," Brian said turning around to find himself facing Jerry
with tears in his eyes.

"So, have I scared you away from loving and believing in me," Jerry asked.

Brian stepped forwards and placed his arms around Jerry. The two held onto
one another realizing that in time the complete aspects of love would come
to them. Maybe not now but eventually, they would have to the opportunities
to be together.

"You know Brian we are about the same size you could always just borrow
clothes from me and we could leave from here," Jerry said not letting go.

"Okay lets get upstairs and get it over with," Brian said half-joking.

"Wait what do you mean by that?" Jerry asked.

"You seeing me without my clothes on of course," Brian said leading the way
to what he thought should be the bedroom.

As Brian entered the small dance room, his eyes lit up seeing the mirrors
surrounding the room. He had been in full sized studio's before, but never
in someone's home. On the wall hung a picture of Jerry and just bellow it
was a picture of a man. He was about twenty years old in the picture and
his hair was slicked back as he looked slightly above the camera. The black
and white photo mesmerized Brian as Jerry immediately took charge of the
situation.

"That is Rowan, Brian," Jerry said pointing at the photo and pausing. "He
used to live here practically. We would train new dancers for the studio
here. Both us used to train dancers here. I just never come in here
anymore. It is too hard there are a lot of memories in this room," Jerry
said turning around to leave.

"Where is he now," Brian asked.

"That's the funny thing, he's a teacher of dance just across town in a
rival studio. He contacts me every once in a while to talk about business;
or so he says. I just don't return the calls. He knows I'm still here. He
is still hiding who he is. I'm not!" Jerry said turning out to the hallway.

Brian could tell this was the person Jerry was supposed to be with. He
reminded himself suddenly of a time when he was in love. He was young. It
was high school. His mother recognized it. She made them stop being
friends, brother, and confidants. It all hurt so badly now it was like it
was yesterday all over again. Jackie would learn someday to love her son
again. Over the past few years with Lee Anne's help he had managed to
convince her he was still her son and she could love him again as she had.

"Brian are you coming? We need to get dressed," Jerry shouted from across
the hallway.

"Yeah be right there," Brian said taking one last look at the photos and
realizing what he had to do for Jerry. He had to make it all right.

To be continued...


Comments, Questions, Criticism are all welcome, write to me at
writergray@aol.com.

Comments 1-10 from last time went well. If y'all want to send in your own
top ten let me know.

1. Kevin got some this installment!

2. Anne Poor Anne!
3. Kevin's a top! No wait a Bottom, Then again? ...
4. How many boy band members can you fit in an Explorer? (*anyone have the
   answer.)
5. Jerry has a room full of mirrors. (kinky?)
6. Oh God! Kevin and Michael look out for everyone else all the time which one
   of them is in charge?
7. No! Nick is too busy playing video game to get some.
8. A Bracelet! What, no ring? (AJ say laughing looking at Kevin)
9. Okay let me get this straight: Brian is with a choreographer and I am a
   lesbian he uses as a cover... (Lee Anne asks)
10. Lee Ann is coming soon! (Brian says: I don't care where she cums as long as
    She cleans it up!

My personal favorite of course is # 5... Look over there I can see you ass.
Over there I can see your side and If I look at the right angle over there
I can see your...

Write me writergray@aol.com