Date: Tue, 8 Aug 2000 02:28:52 EDT From: Mahka <NCC1701DS9@aol.com> Subject: Every little thing I do 1 Hey everyone! This is my first ever gay story. Make that any story, much less one posted on Nifty. So in that case, PLEASE send me feedback about anything on it. I'm gonna need some help! Unlike other authors, I don't write a plot line first and then make the words follow it. I just write, with a final goal in mind. So since I have that type of writing style, it can be sometimes weird. So e-mail me! NCC1701DS9@aol.com is where to send it to. Just put a subject line of Your Story or something relevant so I won't delete it when I do my quick rush delete of various spam mail in my box. And as usual, various disclaimers here. This is a FICTIONAL story involving the band NSync, specifically member Lance Bass. I do not know NSync in any way, shape, or fashion with the exception of what I can get off of fan pages, their official site, various interviews, and the like. I do not know the sexual orientations of any members, although a guy can dream, can't he? ? If you're part of Nsync, please e-mail me! If you're not, e-mail me anyway! Like I said, this is my first, and I'd like some feedback about writing style or anything before I continue. Oh, legal disclaimer. As usual, if you are offended by homosexual relationships, or are under 18 or the legal age in your area, or your local laws/customs do not permit the reading of such material, then don't continue, although this section contains no sex. GASP! Yes, I'm not one for writing porn stories. This is (hopefully!) a real story with emotions beyond passion. If those rules apply to you, then don't get caught reading this if you do decided to go on and read it. I must say thanks to two authors who have inspired me to write a story of my own. They are ScottyT who wrote Lance in Shining Armour (excellent story, a must read!) and Mirrors (another excellent story), and Darren LeVanelle who is writing Everything I Said (great work in progress) and Hearts Out of Sync. Those aside, enjoy! And remember, feedback please! I ran as I glanced at my watch. I was late, dammit. Again. And it wasn't going to sit well with Sarah. Barreling through the mall at top mall-running speed, I sidestepped and swerved, getting evil glances from the people I had run by. I had spent too much time browsing in The Wall before finally settling on the purchase of NSync's new album, No Strings Attached. Truth be told, buying it 3 or 4 months after the release wasn't the greatest thing. Oh well. A friend of mine had bought it, and while at a party, I managed to listen to a bit of it. Not bad. Upbeat, not as many cheesy ballads. So I spent the next month or so just catching up on the news about the group, doing my own research, reading reviews of the album. Hey, why not, I finally decided. If anything, I could always claim temporary insanity later on. Perhaps a bit of background on me would help greatly. Or at least, in the matters of music tastes and bands. Up to this point, I had never bought a popular/rock CD or tape. No albums, no singles. I always thought that such songs tended to be just a brief stint of fame, dying away just a few months or sometimes even weeks later. Would I like their music later on? Why waste nearly 20 bucks on a CD that I might not even listen to just a few weeks down the road? With such a mindset, I tended to buy musical soundtracks, shows, and movie soundtracks. Think Les Miz, Riverdance, and Titanic. That and my choir festival CDs. Straight, pure music. No pop songs, no management/PR induced crazes or merchandise. No interviews on TRL. Obviously, I had changed my mind with the purchase of No Strings Attached. Another stigma I had was with the whole boyband scene. Backstreet Boys, NSync, LFO. They were all the same, created by the same management, a fake group thrown together after auditions. Oops, I was wrong. True, some came out that way, but after my research, not NSync. I felt some admiration for the fact that they put themselves together. True, not a single song was written by them, but oh well. What else can you do? With pop crazes over the boybands and pop princesses Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, I was quick to dismiss the whole thing. It'll all die in two years time, and we'll look back and laugh. Oh well. So I threw my morals out the window. But back to the present. I was meeting Sarah for coffee at the mall -- our fabled, fabulous mall, King of Prussia. I managed to set up a meeting spot in the Plaza side -- the larger, more crowded side. I rushed down the stairs, and clinging to the handrail, did a sharp U-turn to head in the right direction. That sharp U-turn landed me in someone. I heard a muffled grunt, saw a few packages fall. My CD dropped to the ground, making a cracking noise as it hit the unforgiving tile. I quickly followed my poor CD, landing with a thud on my rear end. I saw the other person go down as well, but on one knee instead of his or her butt. Serves me right for rushing. I quickly picked myself up off the floor, noting with some sense of satisfaction that the case hadn't suffered any cracks. I turned, extending a hand to the person still on their knees. Three bags were scattered around, bearing the names of some of the finer stores in the mall -- Banana Republic, American Eagle, Gap. I also noticed a pair of sunglasses on the floor. Shit. I hope they weren't damaged. "I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there and I was in a rush to meet a friend and ohmygod I'm so sorry I hope nothings broken..." I rambled on in a rush of words as I helped the person to their feet. That's when I noticed the eyes. A gorgeous, piercing green color. It was like looking at an emerald. Well, maybe not that green, but green nonetheless. "It's ok. Don't worry about it." Deep voice, with a hint of an accent. I couldn't place it right away, it was so light. Southern, or maybe mid-western. Possibly foreign. "I'm alright, nothings broken. I only bought clothes. Hey, do you know where my sunglasses went?" I looked around, finding them a few feet to my right. I headed over and picked them up, bringing them back. By this time he had gathered his bags, and stood at his full height. He was tall. Not much taller than I am, but a good two or three inches taller. I handed him his sunglasses. "Here ya go. Hope they're not scratched." "Oh, don't worry about it. I just hope you're ok." Wait a minute. I had just bowled this guy over, and he was concerned about me? Who was this? I thought chivalry had died in the dark ages! "Yeah, I'm fine. Once again, I'm so sorry." He looked to be in his early 20s or late teens, with a clear complexion and spiked hair that had bleached ends. Somehow, he looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place it. "Really, don't worry about it! Hey, you like NSync?" he asked, motioning to my translucent bag. How could he tell? The bag wasn't clear, and the features were blurred. Oh well. Maybe he caught it at a point where it was pressed against the bag and therefore revealing the case. "Yeah, sorta." I replied. "I just started listening to them a month or so ago. I like their single It's Gonna Be Me, and I had heard a friends copy, so I bought it. Haven't had a big chance to listen to it or anything, but that's why I bought the CD!" "Really? Who's your favorite group member?" Who was this guy? Acting in an age of chivalry, asking me questions about my musical tastes. He still looked familiar though. "Based on what I've heard and read and researched, the bass, Lance Bass. I feel kinda sorry for him though, since he's never heard." "Oh cool. That's weird, since most people like either Justin or JC." "Yeah, I guess." I was standing here in the mall talking to a complete stranger, and the clock was ticking for my meeting with Sarah. "Ya know, you look sorta familiar, like I know you from somewhere. But I can't place where." Where did my head go? Why was I still talking to him? I never talk to people I don't know! "Really? Well, take a closer look," he replied. I looked at the face that I found both familiar and attractive at the same time. Still looked familiar, but I still couldn't place it. The funny thing was that I thought I saw his face only a few minutes ago, in the store. Store, CD, No Strings Attached, NSync...the pieces were falling together quickly. "Oh my god," I gasped, realizing who it was. "Shh! Don't make a scene! I've managed to get by without being spotted and mobbed by a million girls for the day. Don't ruin it now!" "Wait, but you're...do you know that you're...you're Lance Bass!" Duh! What was I thinking? "Yeah, I know my name!" he drawled, smiling at my concealed shock. "I know mine, but I don't know yours." "Mark. Hi, nice to meet you!" I stuck my hand out again, this time for a handshake rather than to help someone off the floor. Wow, never in my life had I expected to know a celebrity personally. This day was getting better all the time. "Well Mark, since you're in a rush, let me sign that CD for you and let you go, ok?" Lance looked at me questioningly. Those eyes. "Well, you know, I mean," I managed to stutter out a few meaningless phrases before catching myself. "Well, seeing how I ran you over and what not, and that you're also obviously a tourist here, how bout I invite you along for coffee? It's with a friend of mine, but I'm sure she won't care." "Well, I dunno. I've got some more shopping to do and then a concert tonight." Oh yeah, another smart move on my part. Forgetting that NSync was in Philadelphia for the next two nights. That had been all the news on the pop radio stations. But I was trying to salvage the situation. "Hey, listen, it's only 2 right now, and we're just grabbing it over at the Main Line Brewery which is in the mall. We can get it to go and show you around." "Really? I'd like that." Aww, the poor guy was like a puppy dog. "The other guys wanted to tour downtown Philly and check out the historic sites. I'm not that big of a history fan, so I had the limo driver take me up here. I heard that the shopping's great, and I'm not disappointed!" "Yeah, sure. Come on." I started to walk past him, and he turned to follow. "Hey, you don't have to follow me back there! Come up here, we can chat a bit." "Alright, sure!" He did a quick hop and was at my side. "You know, I'm glad to have met someone in public that wasn't freaking out at first sight. You don't understand how hectic and annoying it can become when every waking moment is mobbed by screaming, crazy fans." "You're right. I don't know. But I'm glad to not be one of them. How do you deal with it all?" The conversation continued as we headed over to the coffee shop. I asked him questions, he asked me questions, and we got to know each other a little better. And I mean get to know the real Lance, not the PR-created Lance. I told him that, and he chuckled. God, he was cute! Up to this point I had never considered myself anything but straight. I checked out the girls at times, flirted with them. I had never felt myself too comfortable around guys though. Couldn't connect with them in some fashion. Well, just a few, but those were friends from long ago. Some how Lance made me feel comfortable, at ease. Not only that, but he was extremely attractive physically. Everything. Everything that I had ever wished for. I started falling a bit behind, checking him out. I drifted into a semi- daze, hearing his voice, but not listening. "Mark?" he asked. "You OK?" "Huh? Oh, sorry." I shook myself from the daze. "Didn't get too much sleep last night. Probably a little tired." "Really? Do you always turn a bit red when you're tired?" He grinned at my discomfort. "Uh, no, not really. It's probably because I'm walking in the mall with an international pop superstar!" "Oh, don't worry. You'll get used to it." His eyes gazed over me quickly, then he turned and continued walking. What was that supposed to mean, `You'll get used to it.' `You'll' meant `you will' which was usually used when talking about that future. I jogged a bit to catch up to him, and was about to ask him when Sarah suddenly ran up and gave me a hug. "Hey you! It's about time! I've been waiting forever!" "Sorry. I ran into someone, and you know, the whole apologizing thing." "Yeah, sure. Who's your friend?" she asked, indicating Lance, who was standing a few feet away. "Oh, that's the guy I ran into. I was wondering if you would-" I was cut off by Sarah, who suddenly started to babble. "Oh my god, that's that singer guy from NSync! How on earth did you meet him?" "Like I said, that's the guy I ran into!" I grinned at her shock. "They're here for the tour, remember? And since he's new to the area, I was wondering if you would mind him tagging along with us." Lance was still standing in the back, looking around and trying not to get noticed, but I noticed a few whispers and stares coming from a group of teenaged girls that had just entered the mall. "Hell no! You think I'm going to let a chance slip by to chill with a star? I mean, I don't love NSync, but this is too cool!" "Yeah. Hey, Lance!" I waved him over. "This is my friend Sarah. Sarah, Lance of NSync." "Hi," she said in a low voice, glancing him over. He chuckled. "Hi. I'm glad that everyone in the world seems interested in getting me!" "Yeah, anyway," I interrupted, noticing the small but slowly gathering crowd forming behind us. "What say we get moving, say, to my car and out for coffee?" "Huh? I thought we were going shopping after this!" Lance was protesting. How could I get this through to him? "Not with that crowd you're not!" I grinned as his head whipped around, looking at the crowd that had formed. "Right you are. Let's go before I'm too mobbed!" Sarah and I led him away. The crowd was dispersing, but I noticed a few die-hard fans follow us. "Shoot. We gotta lose `em. C'mon!" I led our trio into Sears. Hopefully the numerous aisles and floors would be enough to lose the little group. "Nah, don't worry about it. I'm used to it. I'll just sign a few and they'll go away hopefully." With that, he stopped, turned around, and put on his public appearance smile. Ooo, I felt like melting right there. Whoa Mark! You're not gay! How can you possibly be falling for him? Lance had started signing arms, napkins, and mall maps, chatting briefly, laughing at little jokes. What a sweet guy. "So, what do we do with a star?" asked Sarah, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Humph, I don't know. What say we head over to either a Starbucks or Xando's, or maybe back to my place?" "Sounds good! I'm parked over by JCPenney. You?" "Same! Good stuff. Alright, he's almost done, so we can save him." We turned back to the group just in time to hear Lance say "Alright, that's enough. I have to go now. Hopefully I'll see some of you at the concerts!" I saw a few girls clutch whatever they had gotten signed, some practically in tears for such a personal moment with a star. He turned, started walking toward us, and waved back to the little group. "Whew, that was a pain! So, where are we going? What are we doing?" "Well, we were talking about that. What do you think of heading over to Starbucks for a coffee, then back to my house?" "Sure, sounds good." Wow, did I just invite a star back to my house? And he accepted? Way too cool! We headed back out through the entrance of Sears, toward the JCPenney entrance at a fairly rapid pace. The three of us chatted a bit, talking about our lives and sharing our own performance experiences. Sarah and I were both involved in our school's music and drama program, so we were fairly familiar with the whole audition/performance scene. Not only that, but we were also involved in PMEA festivals for choir, so we really knew how tough the competition could be. We crossed through the store, ending at the parking lot. "So, which Starbucks do we go to?" asked Sarah. "How `bout the one down near where the old King theater used to be? It's the closest one, even though it's the wrong way from home." I suggested. "Sure, meet you there in a few?" "Yup," I responded, and saying our farewells, we parted ways. Lance followed me with his bags. "Sorry your shopping got ruined, Lance. We shouldn't have chatted in one place too long." "It's OK. I've still got another day here, even though we're staying in New York between shows." "Huh? Why are you staying in New York? You have to suffer through the two- hour drive!" "Yeah, it's a funny management thing. I think they couldn't find a hotel in Philly that could accommodate our entire crew." "Oh," The trip to my car was completed in silence, but my mind was whirring. I liked Lance. No denying that. Whether it was in a romantic sense or just as friends was still unclear. I decided to push the envelope. We approached my car, and I unlocked the doors. I waited until I had started the car and was backing out before I asked. "Hey, I was wondering," I began. "Yeah?" "Well, since I managed to ruin your shopping for today, what do you think about staying at my house for the night, so you don't have to go through the drive, and we can hit the mall tomorrow when it opens or a bit later?" He gave me a glance which I noticed out of the corner of my eye. Hey, I can't look in two places at once! Definitely not with traffic! "Really? You think you can do that?" He sounded a bit eager. Hmm. "Yeah, sure. I don't think my mom would mind having a pop star in the house!" "Awesome! That would rock. I mean, I'd miss the few sites we'd see in New York, but we're stopping there for four days in about a week. Oh, wait, but I'm not going to be done with the show until about nine tonight." Oh, shoot. The tour! I had forgotten about that. I'd just play it by ear from here on out. "Oh, that would be fine. As long as you can get to my place afterwards. I don't think my mom would be happy with me driving down to wherever you're playing that late." "Oh, sure, no problem! I mean, what do we hire the limo drivers for?" He gave me a grin. "Wow, awesome then! I'll give you my address before you have to go tonight. By the way, what time's your call?" "Call? I think it's at four, or maybe four-thirty." "That early?" I must have really sounded incredulous because Lance chuckled a bit. "Yeah! We have make-up, wardrobe, sound check, last minute rehearsal, and a meet and greet to do! Why? How long is your call for your shows?" "Oh, about an hour or so. But I guess that makes sense. I mean, we're only a high school group anyway, and we only charge seven bucks per ticket!" "Hey! That's my living!" He punched me lightly on the shoulder. "I need those hundred bucks per ticket to keep me beautiful!" "Yeah, sure, a hundred bucks per tip of hair to get bleached!" I laughed as I turned the car into the parking lot. He gave me a look as we got out of the car. "What?" "Oh, nothing." We waited a few seconds before Sarah pulled up, and headed into the store. "Man it's hot!" she exclaimed. "I think I'll go for one of their iced drinks." "Yeah, sounds good!" I replied. It was hot outside, a scorching ninety degrees. She placed her order, and went ahead to pay for it. I placed mine, and finally Lance placed his. I noticed that he had slipped his sunglasses on, even though it was obvious they weren't needed inside. We walked toward the cashier, where the server was ringing us up. I was taking out my wallet when I felt a hand on mine, which happened to be rather close to my butt. I glanced up and back in surprise. It was Lance's hand. "Don't worry about it, I've got it covered." "No, you can't. You may be a rich kid, but you're in MY town, and I'm gonna pay for this." I continued to pull my wallet out. "No, no. You're putting me up in your house, treated me as a friend instead of a celebrity..." "Listen, LANSTEN. Either you let me get this or I shout out your name to the entire store. And there are enough groupies here to make a scene." I smiled and evil smile as a look of shock spread across his face. "You wouldn't!" he gasped. "Watch me." I set a deadpan expression on my face, watching a flurry of emotions cross his face. "Fine. I thought you liked me." He was pouting, giving me a puppy dog look, even though the effect was weakened by the sunglasses. I'm a sucker for those looks. Don't give me one. Luckily though, he DID have those sunglasses on. I softened my look. "Lance, I DO like you. You're fun, a friend. I feel like I've known you forever even though it's only been about 30 minutes. But this is my treat, ok?" "Hey, you guys coming or what?" shouted Sarah, looking kind of peeved. "In a second!" I paid the server, and took our drinks. "I'm gonna repay you later," Lance whispered in my ear. From the way he said it, I could have sworn he meant that in a sexual way. I caught myself. There's no way that Lance Bass of NSync could possibly be gay. He's got millions of screaming girls coming after him. Even if he WAS gay, I would've thought that by this point he'd have become straight just from the exposure. Hell, what was I thinking? I wasn't even sure if I was gay or straight, so how could I possibly take that statement in some weird way? Oh well. I'm sure it would pan out eventually. We headed outside, and decided that instead of going back to my place, we'd head over to nearby Valley Forge Park, and chill there for a bit. Lance and I jumped back in my car and headed down 202, following Sarah. Damn that girl drove fast! The ride began in general silence with the radio going. I don't listen to it loud, just loud enough to fill the car and overcome the whine of tires against concrete. "And that was Vertical Horizon with Everything," announced the DJ. "Well, it's just a few more hours until NSync takes over the First Union Center, and speaking of NSync, here's It's Gonna Be Me." The song's recognizable first few bars began under the DJs voice over, then came Justin's voice. You might been hurt, babe, That ain't no lie... That was about as far as Justin got before Lance stabbed out a finger, changing stations. "Hey, what was that for?" I cried, startled. "I happen to like that song!" "Yeah, I know, but when you've heard it a million times in the studio and on demos and performed it who knows how many times, it gets to be a pain. We never listen to our own stuff unless we're forced to for a critique or recording session." "Oh, sorry, didn't know that." The rest of the ride was again in silence, although my mind never shut up. I had never fallen in love, so I really didn't know what it felt like. You'd think that after many years on earth and the three I've spent as a "teen" I would have either experienced it or heard enough about it to know it, but that wasn't the case. But that wasn't the case. Maybe I was experiencing it now. I've felt slight attractions toward people before, but nothing like this. It was as if every time I looked at him, I was in heaven. And he made me feel comfortable. Mentally and emotionally. Something about him just made me at ease. Nobody has ever had that effect on me. I kept thinking that I was attracted to him, and vice versa, but each time my logical side would kick in and tell me that that probably wasn't possible. Like I said before, he was probably straight, with all those girls running after him. And I wasn't perfect with myself either. I was still questioning if I was straight, gay, or bi. I had occasionally felt my gaze wander toward handsome men, but I always thought it as a fluke. Maybe it was their clothes or hairstyle that I liked. Hey, I'm allowed to look at the material, right? We finally arrived at our spot and met Sarah. We spent the next hour or so chatting about everything, from his past to our future, before he realized the time. "Aw, shit!" he exclaimed, looking at his watch. "I've got 10 minutes before I need to be at the venue!" Whoa...Lance curses! Even better! Makes him a bit more human. I wonder if the parents of all those pre-pubescent girls would let them freak over a group if they knew that fact! "Oh, sorry man! Didn't realize we were keeping you so long. You have a ride to get back?" I asked. "Yeah. I told the limo driver to wait for me until I called him." "Wait a minute," interjected Sarah. "Where's he then?" "She. She's still at the mall." He smiled at Sarah's shock when he corrected her on the gender of the driver. "Well then, in that case, why don't we drive you back there so you don't have to have her come out here?" "Cool. That would help so much. I'll have her meet us uh..." "Outside Bloomingdale's in the parking lot. That'll be the easiest." Damn that Sarah, she was clear headed! "Great." With that, Lance grabbed his cell phone from his hip holster and dialed. Getting all of those instructions out of the way, we packed up and headed for the cars. I ended up driving Lance back, and was nearly at the mall before I realized that I hadn't given him my home information. I told him my address, quick directions, and my phone number. He gave me his cell number before he stepped out of the car toward the waiting limo. "I'll see you later then?" he asked. "Yup. I'll be waiting. Good luck, and break a leg!" "Hey, don't say that! We've got all that dancing to do on a moving stage!" "Oh, sorry! I don't have a ticket or anything, so I wouldn't know!" "Right, whatever. Anyway, I'll see you later!" He stepped forward with his hand extended. I came forward, matching his moves. Our hands clasped in a firm handshake, and then he pulled me forward into a hug. Not a passionate hug, but one of those brotherly hugs with a pat or two for good measure. "Thanks for everything, Mark," he whispered in my ear. "I'll see you tonight." With that, he let go and walked toward the car, giving me a wave and a smile before getting in. The driver closed the door, walked to the drivers seat, closed the door, and drove away, leaving behind a cloud of dust, exhaust, and a slew of emotions that ran through my head as I stood alone in the parking lot. Was I really falling for him? Was I gay or bi? And were those certain innuendoes he kept on sending my way? In the car, at the park, where he kept looking at me with a gaze that I've seen only on love struck people, and just now. It was now 3:50. The concert started at seven, and would probably be done around nine. I just wished that I could hold out that long, and wouldn't go crazy trying to figure this friendship/relationship out.