Date: Mon, 31 Jul 2000 07:10:14 -0700 (PDT) From: Darren LeVanelle <levanelle@yahoo.com> Subject: Everything I Said 6 *********************************************************************** This is a work of fiction. I am in no way implying or stating anything about the real life sexuality of the member of 'N Sync. This story involves homosexuality, and male/male romance. If you are offended by this type of material please leave now. Also if you are under the age of 18, or this type of material is illegal in your state or country, please leave too. All comments and suggestions can be sent to levanelle@yahoo.com, as I love to hear EVERYTHING from my readers. Check out my SlashPage for more information about me and my stories at: http://www.angelfire.com/celeb/DLeVanelle/index.html Also you can try and catch me online. My AIM name is DLeVanelle. I'm always up to chatting with my fans. Hope you enjoy. Later! -Darren *********************************************************************** EVERYTHING I SAID - Chapter 6 - Written by Darren LeVanelle LAST CHAPTER ******************** I closed the connection and quickly put my laptop away and crawled back towards the bunk-beads. I was still tired, I just had to check things out and see if I missed any important details. Yeah right! When I arrived back at Lance's bunk I took off my shirt and pants, getting prepared to go back to sleep by Lance's side. I pulled the curtain back and gasped. Justin was sitting there and hugging the half-naked Lance. CHAPTER 6 *********************** I felt like jumping out of my own skin right then. I had absolutely no clue about what was happening. "Oh." I stuttered out like some retard. I was still gawking when Lance finally noticed me there and looked over at me. "Jeremy..." he sobbed out at me. The tears I thought I helped to erase had come back, although why I don't know. Justin sat there, looking emotionless, probably trying to cover up what he was really feeling in my presence. How did I know that? Just call it a gift of some sort. Feeling unwanted and intrusive I decided to give them some time to sort things out. "Sorry. I didn't know that Justin was here." I said, trying not to sound all that hurt. Truth was that I did feel hurt. Lance said he needed me, and it had been a very long time since anyone, male or female, ever made that statement. Since it wasn't my place to say anything about myself, I bowed out to what was a lot longer of a friendship, even if I may have made the most of an impact. "I'll just go find an empty bunk." I reached down to grab my shoes when Lance suddenly reached out and grabbed my arm. His grip was tight, like a vise, and I knew, don't ask me how this time, it was not out of anger. "You promised you'd be back here to stay with me for the rest of the night." He pleaded out to me. Now I'm not the one who normally falls for the puppy dog eyes and tears streaking down the face. I've seen that act way too many times. But Lance showed a certain level of sincerity that made me almost sway. Almost. "You promised." He repeated to himself. "It looks like you're busy though. I don't want to stop your conversation." I wasn't being smug. I was telling the truth. It looked like something important was occurring and I wasn't about to stop the chain of events that were happening. "I just need a few more minutes to finish up my talk with Justin. That's all." He looked over at him and then back up at me. "Could you PLEASE come back in like fifteen minutes? We should be done by then." "Sure Lance." I replied with no happiness in my voice. He nodded at me, as did Justin, and then I turned back around and headed into the game room. You need fifteen minutes? And you should be done by then? Uh huh. That sounds like the all too famous 'Let me get you out of here so I can blow him' line. It figures. Well Justin is very cute and I wouldn't blame him. But I couldn't help from feeling used and discarded at that point in time. Since I was giving him the time I figured I should put it to some mind-numbing go use. After pulling my pants and shirt back on I pulled my case back out of it's compartment and set the laptop back up. Connected to the Internet via the wireless connection thanks to the bus's network system, yadah yadah yadah, you know the rest. I popped in a CD in the player and put on my headphones while I surfed for a while. I couldn't stand the first few songs. I've heard them too many times. So I skipped a few tracks until I came to one of the slower songs that I loved to listen to. I heard the familiar sounds of a piano and the solo violin that followed it. Then the fade in of an acoustic guitar. Man. Just the music put me in such a depressive mood that I couldn't stand it. As the lyrics sounded through the headset I thought of what to type in another e-mail to 'Jay'. So I got onto Yahoo! Mail and noticed I had a message from him already. From: jaybjay@yahoo.com Date: Wed, 17 May 2000 23:17:10 MDT Subject: Stupid Question... To: jhollis78@yahoo.com Dear Hal, I know this might sound really stupid but I just have to say this cause I'm feeling it really strongly already and that's kind of weird, even for me. So I just have this one question to ask you... Would you hate me if I said I thought I was falling for you? Embarrassed, Jay At that moment the lyrics ringed through my head with a renewed clarity and perspective that I had never had before. 'Something has left my life' 'And I don't know where it went to' 'Somebody caused me strife' 'It was not what I was seeking' 'Didn't ya see me?' 'Didn't ya hear me?' 'Didn't ya see me standing there?' 'Why did you turn out the lights?' 'Did you know that I was sleeping?' 'Say a prayer for me' 'Help me to feel the strength I did' 'My identity' 'Has it been taken?' 'Is my heart breaking?' 'On me, all my plans' 'Fell through my hands' 'They fell through my hands' 'On me, all my dreams' 'It suddenly seems' 'It suddenly seems' 'Empty' 'Empty' I sat there staring at the e-mail 'Jay' sent and let a single tear fall down my cheek. Why? Why did he have to tell me that? Love was the last thing I was looking for right now. Instead, somehow it had found me. But I couldn't decide if this was a blessing or a curse. What if I wasn't attracted to him? What if he was nothing like he was online in person? These were the words that kept running through my head as I pressed stop on the CD player of the computer. It was too much. Too much was happening all at once and I just froze with my hands on the keys watching the reply-to screen flashing in front of my face. What was I to do? I entered in his e-mail and typed the following brief message to him. From: jhollis78@yahoo.com Date: Wed, 17 May 2000 23:35:37 MDT Subject: Re: Stupid Question... To: jaybjay@yahoo.com I could never hate you. Hal I clicked the send button and let the tears continue to flow down my cheek as the screen pooped back to my inbox. It appeared I already had another message from him. From: jaybjay@yahoo.com Date: Wed, 17 May 2000 23:34:01 MDT Subject: Anyways To: jhollis78@yahoo.com It's not like you could really love me anyways. I mean what hope does a relationship have born out of two idealists who met online and don't really know each other. I mean I know how I'm feeling for you but what if we don't 'connect' in person. This is what I'm thinking. But I know what my heart is feeling. Anyways no matter what I always want to be at least a friend. Yours truly, Jay This was just taking too big of a strain on my psyche at the moment. So I logged off and shut the computer down again. Damn Compaq's!!! After putting it back away I tried to make myself look a little more presentable before rejoining Lance in his bed. That is if he was even in HIS bed. As I walked back down the hallway I heard a small sound coming from down the way. I stopped outside of Lance's bunk and concentrated on it. It was a faint small slurping sound. Y'know, the trying to hide a blowjob sound. It could have been my imagination, but then came another telltale sign of a blowjob going on. I heard a faint moan. The moan of pleasure. Great. Set myself up for some more disappointment I guess. I suppose Lance was having a good time with Justin. Well, since he wasn't my boyfriend or anything, a promise is a promise after all, and I thought I should get into the bunk and wait for him anyways. Well, I pulled the curtain back yet again (For what seemed like one too many times in one day) and I was shocked again at the sight before me (Again! Damnit! What drama!!!). Lance was cuddled up with a pillow in his arms and peacefully sleeping. *********************************************************************** TO BE CONTINUED??? Yeah. Yeah. This is the shortest of the chapters so far but, GOD DAMNIT, I haven't been getting any decent sleep. So, you guys can just suffer for a day! :P~ There will be another chapter out, possibly later today, but I'm not making any guarantees. Anyways, if I pissed you off a lot with this chapter, you're gonna kick my white ass when you read the next part! Much love! -Darren ***********************************************************************