Date: Wed,  6 Mar 2002 18:35:51 -0800
From: auto337794@hushmail.com
Subject: Falling for an Old Friend part 1

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DISCLAIMER:
This story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true
sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal knowledge about their
private lives. This is copyright 2002 by the author.

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Author's note:
Hey everyone, please let me know what you like/dislike about this story.
Specifically, I'm looking for some critique of my writing style. This is
my first story ever, so constructive criticism is appreciated.

auto337794@hushmail.com

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FALLING FOR AN OLD FRIEND


"Hello?" I said as I picked up the phone.

"Hey, Matt?" The voice on the other end said. It sounded like Jim, but I
wasn't sure.

"Yeh, who's this?" I said.

"Matt, it's Jim, how's it going?"

"Jim? Jeese, it's been a while. I was thinking about you the other day, I saw
something or other on TV about your latest tour." I said.

"Yeh, we're touring again for about a month." Said Jim.

"Well, what's up? How's things been?" I said.

"As usual, pretty busy. Hey, I'm in town for two days, you wanna get
together?"

"Sure, you want to go to dinner or something?"

"Ok. How about you come to our hotel and pick me up?"

I chuckled, "Me pick you up? You're the one with the millions of bucks."

I could hear Jim's smile over the phone, "But being on the road we don't
have our own cars."

"So you're at my mercy if I pick you up. I like that." I said with a laugh.

"Yep, pretty much. I feel pathetic."

From there I got the info about where he was staying - at the Marriott
downtown. I've done a fair amount of traveling myself for business, and I
get sick of hotel rooms pretty quick. It must get pretty horrible staying in
hotels months on end. There's no permanence. Clothes are always packed
and unpacked. You can't keep stuff lying around.

As I was driving the highway toward downtown, I was thinking about how
we'd lost touch lately. I went to school with Jim, all the way from third
grade through high school. We were best friends for quite a while. We
really did all our growing up together, sharing all the discoveries about
being pubescent males with each other as we were both experiencing
growing up. We had very similar personalities. We were both determined
people with goals in life.

After high school, Jim went off to Florida to work on being in a group
called Nsync. He was a great performer and I was sure he would succeed.
Sure, he needed some work on his dancing and all that, but I knew he would
do well because we were the same. We both refused to give up once we
started something.

I moved on to working in technology. I always had a knack for computers
and was running a small computer sales company out of my parents' home
when I was in High School. There aren't a lot of opportunities in Mississippi
for the high tech field, but I managed to get a pretty good job right after
high school working for a small Internet service provider. I steadily moved
up the ladder and started doing pretty well for myself. I was 20 when I
bought my first house. Then came AOL. They bought the company I
worked for and they decided to keep me after the merger. Upper
management recognized my talent and hard work and asked me to move to
their regional headquarters in Atlanta. It was an offer that couldn't refuse,
along with a six-figure income.

It was through this time that Jim and I kept in contact pretty regularly. We'd
talk about being successful and doing well. He was obviously doing much
better than I, but we weren't afraid to discuss with each other our finances.

He didn't start out so well. Exclusive record contracts and management fees
were sucking up all of his income at first, so he wasn't seeing much of the
group's revenue. But when he and the guys decided to sign with another
record company, his income took off.

But, over the last year or so we stopped talking so much. We would call
each other every week or so to talk about life in general. I think he needed
someone sane to talk to that wasn't trying to take advantage of him. I needed
someone else my age that was doing well, it gets lonely when everyone
around you at work is twice your age. He was just getting too busy and I
assumed that he just didn't have time to call as much.

So that's why I was surprised when Jim called today. It was nice to hear
from him. I always felt a kinship with him that no one else matched in my
life. He was the only person I could be completely open and honest with
and he wouldn't laugh or make fun. In fact, more often than not, he was
feeling the same way.

I pulled up to the Marriott parking ramp and noticed all the Nsync fans
hanging out outside the main entrance. I decided to take the side entrance
from the parking ramp. I walked over to the elevator and pushed the "10"
button to go to the tenth floor. As the elevator door opened, there was a big
guy standing there with his arms crossed.

"I'm sorry sir, this floor is off limits." The overbearing guy said.

"My name's Matt Vos, I'm here to see Jim, er, Lance Bass."

"Do you have ID?" He snapped back.

"Sure." I said. I pulled out my driver's license and showed it to him.

"Thanks Mr. Vos, I'll take you to Mr. Bass's room."

I followed the guy down the way. Apparently the band rented a whole floor
whenever then were in a hotel. Being the money-conscious miser I am I
thought to myself 'Damn, this must be expensive.'

We stopped at room 1015 -- wait, I take that back -- *suite* 1015. A corner
room with two French doors. The big guy knocked and said "Mr. Bass, Mr.
Vos is here to see you."

I heard a muffled "Cool. I'll be right there."

We stood there for a minute, waiting. Being a naturally curious person, I
asked the guy "So, how's the bodyguard business been treatin' you?"

"Fine." Is all he said.

'Alrighty then' I thought to myself, just as the door opened.

"Hey Matt! What's up! Come on in." Jim said.

We shook hands, "Jim, long time no see. Damn, you look different." He had
a line of facial hair, kind of a small beard. It took me by surprise.

"Well, you know, gotta keep the look changing. This is a tough business to
always be different in." He said.

"I can imagine. I've seen you guys on TV quite a bit lately. It seems you're
sticking in there in that brutal pop war."

"Yeh, we're doing really well. The last album's sales weren't as good as the
one before, but the money's still rolling in." He said.

"I can imagine. I saw in the paper recently that your tour of last year
grossed about a hundred million." I said.

"We're doin pretty well." There was a lul in the conversation. Suddenly we
seemed to not know each other so well any more.

"So, you want to go to dinner? What do you have in mind?" I asked.

"I don't know Atlanta, what do you recommend?"

"We can go someplace secluded, so you can avoid the exposure. I know just
the place." I said.

He replied, "Ok, let's go. But we're going to have to slip out somehow."

"No problem, I parked in the ramp, so all the fans won't see us leave."

Jim put on a baseball hat and some sunglasses. We walked out the door and
went down to the lobby. He walked on my opposite side, away from the
doors, where all the fans were outside. He was hiding himself. We got to
my SUV and drove out of the ramp without anyone seeing us.

We had some small chitchat on the way, but things didn't seem like they
were before. It was a little awkward. We arrived at the restaurant. It's a great
place downtown, in one of the towers. It's a pretty classy place where the
entire staff wears a tux.

We were seated by a waiter in a corner booth, away from most of the
people, as I requested. I ordered a bottle of wine. Of course we were both
carded, but I don't think either of us minded.

"So, Jim, you seem a little distant. What's up?" I asked.

"I don't know. This touring thing is getting me down a little. I'm just in one
of those moods today. I ask myself what I'm doing. Sure, I make a ton of
money and get to see just about everything in the world, but something's
just missing. The Hollywood crowd is so repugnant to me, it's all so fake.
The record company just wants to promote the hell out of us to make
millions more. I'm just getting tired."

I was a little shocked. I couldn't imagine being as wealthy as he is, but I can
understand the wear and tear of it all. I've had my own battles with the
choice between making a good amount of money doing a job that only
provides mediocre satisfaction and doing a job I love while not making as
much as I could. "Well, Jim, I can sympathize on a level with your
frustration. You've been branching out with your own record company and
your movie production company, maybe that's where you need to
concentrate your creative energy."

He thought for a minute, "I would love to, but I have a real obligation to the
other guys. We're at the top of our game now, and I've put so damn much
work into this group, I just can't give up right now. Besides, I don't want to
become a statistic, another boy band that fades into music history."

I could sense that he was frustrated and a little down. "Hmm. Well, maybe
you need a girlfriend." I suggested.

He just sat there quietly for a minute, his eyebrow rose. I chimed in, "What,
did you get married secretly or something?"

Jim laughed, "Ha, hell no. I can't imagine doing that right now. Besides, I
don't even have a girlfriend."

"What?" I said with some shock. "You're like one of the hottest guys in the
pop world right now. How can't you have a girlfriend? Are you bangin all
the chicks on the tour bus or something?"

"Nah, I don't do that. I'm just not all that interested. Call me a weirdo, but
I'd rather be doing a business deal than being a sleazeball with some slutty
fans."

I could sympathize. I'm a person that has to be busy all the time, otherwise
I'm bored. I don't pay much attention to the opposite sex. Hell, who am I
kidding, I'm a closeted gay guy. Sure, I've been with a couple chicks in high
school, but it wasn't all that exciting. I was doing it basically to keep my
parents thinking that I was straight. I've never told anyone about my
feelings for guys, not even Jim.

I said back to him, "I can relate. I don't like wasting time on chicks either.
But maybe you just need to get laid."

He replied, "Yeh, I don't know."

The wine arrived and we had a couple of glasses each before dinner arrived.
We had some small chitchat. I was beginning to notice his good looks even
more. I always admired his green eyes. They were so piercing. I've never
known anyone with eyes like his.

We were joking and he was telling funny stories about being on tour. The
conversation was winding down and neither of us had spoken for a few
minutes. I was just looking out the window and admiring the downtown
lights of Atlanta at night.

We were finishing up our second bottle of wine when he asked me, "Matt,
we've been best friends since like third grade, right?"

I turned to look at him again, "Yeh."

"Well, we used to be able to talk to each other about everything, right? I just
need to get something off my back. It's been keeping me down for about a
year. I'm just terrified of telling anyone, but you're the only person I can
imagine telling. I know we've always been so open to each other."

I said, "Jim, man, whatever it is, I'm here for you. What's going on? Are you
having an addiction problem or something?"

He replied, "yeah, right. That's something I could change. Besides, you
know me, I'm more practical than that."

"I didn't think so. Then what is it?" I asked.

"It just that I -- I don't know -- it makes me sick to my stomach sometimes -
- I"

"Jim, you can tell me. Anything you say stops here. You don't have to
worry about it going beyond this table." I replied in a lower voice.

"Matt, I'm -- god, this is so hard -- I'm gay." He stopped and looked at me
with his green eyes. I'm not sure what he was thinking, but I could see the
fear in his eyes.

"Jim, dude, that's no problem. It's ok man."

"No, it's not ok. I'm from a religious family and they can't ever know. Hell,
I'm a religious person and I can't reconcile who I am with what I believe. I
can't tell anyone. My career would be over. Did you know that our
management company actually requires me in my contract to not show any
public hint of my relationships?" He said.

"Jim, don't worry about it. You don't have to go around telling everyone.
Yeh, I know your mom, and she would probably flip if she found out, but
you've done pretty damn good with keeping it a secret up until now."

"I guess you're right, it's just been such a burden on me. I'm so glad I could
tell you. I actually feel a little better now. I needed to get that off my chest.
Matt, I don't know what I'd do without you." He said.

"Easy there boy. It's not like we've exactly been real close lately. We've
kinda drifted. I'm glad we're seeing each other again, it brings back a lot of
memories. We need to keep in better touch from now on." I said.

Jim replied, "You're right. You're the only person I can talk to about this,
you're such a relief."

"Glad I can be there for you. You know I always will be. All this fame and
everything around you will come and go, but what's it all worth if you don't
have any friends that stick with you?" I said. I'm the kind of person that
doesn't waver in friendship once I get to know someone. There's a lot of
shitty people I've known in the past who are friends one minute, but
suddenly aren't the next. Jim is that kind of friend too. "Hey, you need to go
out and just have some fun. Let's both go out and get wasted."

We finished off our bottle and I picked up the tab, over Jim's protests. We
made it down to the car and took off for someplace to get a wasted.

I thought for a second, "There's a couple of good clubs around the block
here, we can stop and check them out. I'm not much of a clubbing kind of
guy, but let's do some serious drinking."

We drove around for a few minutes and picked out a decent looking bar.
We walked in and again picked a booth in the corner, with Jim's back facing
the crowd. The waitress walked up and asked us what we want to drink. Jim
said "A vodka tonic." I said "A blue martini please." Again, we were
carded. This time the waitress looked at Jim's license and then looked at
him. She smiled and said "Are you the -- " Jim replied "Yeah, I am. I'd
appreciate it if you could keep it quiet." He passed her a fifty-dollar bill as
she handed his license back. "My pleasure," she replied as the pocketed the
money.

The music was thumping and we were both getting pretty drunk. I'm a total
clutz when it comes to dancing, but Jim can rip it up. Those years of touring
and constantly dancing make him pretty damn good, if I may say so myself.
He went off to the dance floor and disappeared for a while. I sat there,
sipping my martini, thinking about what he had told me. I thought to myself
'Jeese, he just came out to me. I'm gay too, or at least bi, but I can relate to
his frustration more than he knows. He is pretty damn hot, maybe I should
talk to him about my own feelings.'

Just then he came back to the table, pretty worked up and breathing heavily.
He was obviously having a good time. "Matt, come on you loser, come and
dance."

"You know me Jim, I'm about as graceful on a dance floor as a monkey."

"Ah, come one. There's a bunch of good looking chicks up there. They're all
over me. Come on out, get some of them away from me."

"Somehow I don't think that I'll attract anyone away from you." I replied.

He laughed, "Come on, don't be such a loser, it's not like any of these
people know you. Besides, you're drunk, I know you're loosened up."

I protested, but I got up and made my way to the dance floor. It was dark,
mercifully, but I started out dancing to some techno, thumping hard and
heavy. Of course Jim was surrounded by a bunch of chicks, grabbing his
butt. He'd glance over at me and wink. I knew he was enjoying all the
attention, even though it wasn't the attention he was looking for.

After a few songs I made it back to the table and ordered another couple of
drinks for the two of us. By now I was close to seeing double. Jim wandered
back, with a couple of chicks following him, and he sat down. He
whispered in my ear, "Let's get out of here, I'm sick of these groupies." I
replied, "Ok, I'll go call a cab, I'm too wasted to drive. You go to the
bathroom and lose these chicks. We'll meet out front."

We were both standing out front of the bar and the cab pulled up. We both
got in and I said, "He needs to go to the Marriott, I need to get to the north
end of town." Immediately Jim turned to me and said, "Uh, Matt, do you
want to stay at the hotel? We could go out for breakfast in the morning."

"Sure," I replied, "If you don't mind."

"No problem at all." He said as he laid his head back on the seat, obviously
feeling pretty numb right about now.

We arrived at the hotel and made our way back up to his room. There was
only a king sized bed, but I folded out the couch bed and we flipped on the
TV. It was like the old days again, him sleeping over at my house or me
sleeping over at his. We would always just talk and talk about our future
plans. Here we were already, doing well for ourselves and having fun. Jim
broke the silence with, "I think we need a couple more drinks. Let's have
room service bring some up." I said, "Sure, a beer or two is about all I can
tolerate."

The beer arrived in a few minutes and we cracked them open over some
more conversation about what we've been up to over the last year. He
finished his off and said, "Well, I need to get up at about 9 tomorrow
morning, so I'm going to turn in." It was 2 in the morning already. I've never
been one to miss a lot of sleep, I'm always a zombie the next morning if I
don't get my eight hours. I couldn't imagine how he could do it with his
schedule.

"Ok," I replied, "What time do you want to go to breakfast?"

"I have a couple of interviews at 9:30, I'm sure they'll be over the phone, but
we can get some food after that."

"Just wake me up when you're ready." I replied.

I think he was pretty drunk because he just stripped down to his boxers and
flopped on the bed, lying on his stomach. He closed his eyes and was
probably already asleep. I just stood there, admiring his well-toned body.
He was in great shape. I hear those guys practice for eight hours a day
before a tour. That must be brutal on the body, but he has a great shape to
show for it.

"Jim?" I whispered.

It took a moment to get a response. "What?" He said in a monotone voice as
though he was just about to get to sleep.

"Ah, never mind." I said as I turned off the light, I'll see you tomorrow.