Date: Fri, 3 Jan 2003 17:00:34 -0800 (PST)
From: auto337794 <auto337794@yahoo.com>
Subject: Falling for an old friend part 4

Falling for an old friend part 4

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DISCLAIMER:
This story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true
sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal knowledge about their
private lives. This is copyright 2003 by the author.

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Author's note:
Hey everyone, please let me know what you like/dislike about this story.
Specifically, I'm looking for some critique of my writing style. This is
my first story ever, so constructive criticism is appreciated.

auto337794@yahoo.com

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Jim and I lay there on his hotel room bed for a few more minutes, our
breathing slowing down. By now the sun was shining in through the window
and both our bodies were bathed in the bright glow. I rolled over onto my
side ran my hand over his smooth, tanned chest. Jim's eyes were closed and
I wondered what he was thinking. That was the most amazing sexual
experience I ever had, and it was with my long time best friend, of all
people.

Jim opened his eyes and blurted out, "Fuck."

I'm sure my face scrunched up from my sudden feeling of confusion. "What?"
I replied.

"Fuck. Fuck. What did I just do?" Jim brushed my hand off his chest, rolled
over to the side of the bed, and sat up on the edge. "I can't believe I
just did that. What did I just do?"

I was in a state of utter confusion at this point. I got a sinking feeling
that he was having that post-sex remorse, apparently in a big way. This was
his first time with a guy and he probably didn't expect it to happen so
soon.

"Jim, what are you talking about? What the hell?" I said softly as I sat up
on the bed.

"Fuck, Matt. I just had sex with you, or something pretty close to
sex. Shit. That was so wrong."

"Wrong? Come on Jim, what are you saying?"

He stood up and walked over to the sink and grabbed a towel and wiped the
cum off his stomach. "Matt, I have to go and think. Shit. I'm sorry." He
put his jeans and shirt back on and walked toward the door. I stood up,
grabbed his arm, and turned him around.

"What the fuck? Where are you going? 20 minutes ago you were giddy as a
school girl, now you're back to confusion and remorse?"

"Shit. I don't know. I need to work this out. I need to go and think alone
for a while. This isn't your fault, Matt, it's me. I shouldn't have done
this."

He pulled his arm from my hand with some force and walked back to open the
door. As he was walking out he turned around, "I'm sorry Matt. I'll be back
in a little bit."

With that he left the room. I stood there, still naked, totally
dumbfounded. 'What the hell just happened?' I thought to myself. A rage
started building in me. We both had an amazing experience all he could do
was freak out and leave? "Fuck him." I said out loud.

I wiped myself off and got dressed and was ready to leave and never come
back when there was knock at the door. 'Don't these fucking people leave
him alone?' I thought to myself as I opened the door.

It was Justin, wearing another of those muscle shirts that he looks so damn
good in. I'm sure he was surprised to see me again.

"Hi... again," He said. "Is Lance around?"

Fuck. Lance. He just took off leaving me here in his hotel room to deal
with all the damn visitors. "No. I don't know where he is. He just took
off." I said in a curtly.

"Oh. Well. Uh... Is he ok?"

"I don't know. I was just leaving myself." Justin looked a little confused,
as I'm sure I would be if I were him. But then again, he was nice enough,
so I realized I shouldn't be a jerk. "I'll let Jim know you're looking for
him if I see him."

Yeah, right. I was thinking that I'd punch him in the face if I saw him,
but I wasn't about to let my anger show.

"Ok, thanks. See ya later."

I left the room and took the stairs down to the main floor so I could get
my car.

As I was heading out to the parking garage I heard Jim yell at me down the
hall, "Matt! Hold on! Where are you going?"

I turned around and saw him picking up his pace to get to me. I glared for
a moment and continued walking the other way.

"Matt! Come on! Wait!" He yelled again.

I kept walking, but he caught up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Go
to hell." I said as I lowered my shoulder so his hand fell off.

"Matt. I'm so fucking sorry."

I stopped, turned around, and stared directly into his eyes. They were red,
it looked like he was crying. His hair was messed up and looking as cute as
usual.

"Look, Jim, you fucking walked out. Do you know how shitty that was?"

"Yes, I know. I'm so damn confused right now. I don't want you to leave, we
need to talk. Please don't go. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry? You aren't the one left standing there naked in a hotel
room. Jesus. You just fucking left!"

He lowered his voice, obviously worried someone would hear us
talking. "Come on. Let's go back upstairs where we can talk."

"No! I'm going home. You can call me later or something. I've got some shit
to do," I replied. I was still pissed, but I've got a natural knack for
feeling sorry for about anyone. As I turned around to continue toward my
car I felt a stab of guilt hit my heart. But I knew I had to keep
going. The guy had to feel what I did.

---

I sat at home for some time, waffling between anger and regret. This could
have been the beginning of an incredible relationship, but was I really
ready for a guy who was so insecure about himself? Sure, I'm a closet case
myself, but he was taking it to an extreme, a level of self-loathing that I
didn't want to be around.

"Mom, you're such a slut!"

Some white trash episode of Jerry Springer was playing on the TV right in
front of me - something about mothers who were sleeping with their teenage
daughters' boyfriends. My train of thought was drifting back and forth
between the ridiculous show and my own feelings for Jim. It was just a few
hours ago that I had such an awakening experience with him, but he couldn't
handle it. Could this even work anyways? I mean, he's a celebrity who's
pretty much busy 365 days a year and living in the lime light all the
time. I'm just a lowly little computer tech working in Atlanta.

I let myself flop sideways on my couch and ended up in somewhat of a fetal
position. My eyes were glazed over, not really paying attention to the TV,
but at the same time wondering how people like those get into situations
like that. I didn't even feel hungry. I was almost sick to my stomach. I
missed him already.

Then my phone rang. 'Do I really want to get this?' I asked myself. I swung
my arm over the side of the couch and grabbed the cordless phone. The
caller ID shows that it was Jim's cellphone. He was calling me back. Which
would it be?  To tell me to go to hell or to ask me to come back? I sat the
phone down on the couch next to me and let the machine get it.

"No one's available, please leave a message." I left the generic message on
the machine that came with it. I liked the idea of having an anonymous
greeting, not even in my voice.

Beep.

"Matt... this is Jim. Are you around? Please call me when you get a
chance. I'm leaving town tomorrow morning already and I really want to talk
before I go.  Please. Bye."

And he hung up. My stomach turned again. I can be such an asshole when I
want to, 'But he deserves it,' I kept telling myself.

Then my cellphone started ringing. I looked at my watch. It was 7 in the
evening already, the sun's orange glow was illuminating the living room. I
knew I had to talk to him tonight. I couldn't lose a best friend like
this. He was trying, so should I. I stood up and grabbed my cellphone off
the kitchen counter.

"Hello?"

"Matt? This is Jim - "

I interrupted, "Jim --"

"No, Matt, I need to say something before you do. I'm sorry. I treated you
like a total dick and I deserve to be forgotten as a friend of yours. I
just wanted to say that I'm so sorry and that I don't want us to fall apart
like this. I meant what I said to you last night. I do love you and I want
to have a relationship with you. I just have some issues I need to work out
and I think you can help. You were always there for me when we were
young. I... I promise that I won't do anything like that again."

I sat there in silence and thought about it. I could have made some
smart-ass comment about being his shrink or crutch, but I loved him too. I
couldn't turn him down, his soothing deep voice made me melt
inside. Besides, I have a hard time staying mad at anyone, unless they
*really* screw me over.

"Jim," I hesitated for another moment and heard him draw a deep breath, "I
love you too." He breathed a sigh of relief. "I forgive you. I understand
you're having a hard time with this, but so am I. I don't have the
religious barrier you do, but there's still this social barrier. I think we
can help each other."

"Oh, Matt, thank god. I'm so glad we're ok." I could hear the relief in his
voice.

"I didn't say we're ok, we just need to work some things out. If you
promise to try I promise to try too," I replied.

"It sounds like a deal. So do you want to come hang out at the hotel
tonight? Joey is having a party in his room." His mood was changing to
excitement already. I had to admit, mine was too. It was like the puppy
love cliché in the extreme.

"Ok, but I have to work tomorrow, so I can't be out too late." I said with
some resignation. We weren't going to have much time together.

"Don't worry, our bus leaves early in the morning, so we won't be up too
late either."

It was the first date that I was really excited about in a long time. I'd
been on dates with quite a few women, to keep up the façade, but this
time was very different. I had that true excitement in me again, a little
extra jump in my step. I found myself actually worrying about what to wear,
and which cologne I would be best.

Then again, I wondered if I shouldn't dress up too much or the other guys
in the band would probably suspect something. Jim and I hadn't worked out
any kind of understanding on how we were going to handle this, so I figured
I'd better be more subtle.

I threw on some jeans and a button down shirt, sprayed a little cologne on
my neck and headed back out.

---

I again ran into the big burly bodyguard as I got off the elevator on the
guys' floor at the hotel. This time he just stepped aside and said, "hold
on." I turned to look at him and he was holding out a pass with a lanyard
attached. I looked down at it to see a the words "ALL ACCESS" printed
across the top of it along with the 'Nsync logo. Down below it said,
"Authorized by: Bass."

"Thanks," I said to the guard as I turned to continue walking toward Jim's
room. I glanced back down at the pass in my hand and chuckled, 'I need a
pass to see my best friend.' I let out an audible "ha!"

"What are you laughing at?"

I looked up to see Jim standing there in the hallway a little ways down,
waiting for me in front of his room's door. He had cleaned himself up. His
hair was spiky again and he was wearing this sporty outfit - a green jersey
looking thing with those Adidas snap-down pants. I'm sure my eyes widened,
he just looked so cute.

"I was just chuckling at the fact that I need a pass to see my best
friend." I held the pass up in the air to show him.

He smiled, "Yeah, it's just a security precaution. Plus, you won't need to
be bothered by our security entourage you want to come to visit, or stop by
a show, or whatever. Those all access passes get you anywhere."

"Anywhere?" I said suggestively with a sly look on my face.

He lowered his head, but kept his eyes on me and said in a deep voice,
"Anywhere." He smiled and returned to normal. "Come on into my room, I
wanna show you something."

I followed him into his room which had been cleaned since I was in here
last. The TV was on the news and his laptop was on the desk with the
space-man screen saver running. There was a pile of clothes on the floor,
it looked like it took him some time to find the right thing to wear.

"Some trouble with your clothes?" I asked.

He was a little embarrassed. He probably didn't want to admit he put so
much time into dressing himself. "Uh, I just couldn't find the shirt I was
looking for.  You know, they pack everything away so I can't find
anything."

'Yeah, right,' I said to myself, remembering that he's as anal as me about
things being in order.

I turned toward him and he was holding out a bottle of wine. "Here, I
bought you this 'cuz I felt so bad. I know you like wine. It's a 1930
chardonnay from," he turned the bottle to look at the label, "Uh,
chev... rev... vus... uh, something in France. It was kinda expensive."

This was probably a several hundred dollar bottle of wine. I looked at it
and took it out of his hands. "Jim, I can't accept this. It was probably
pretty expensive.  Dude, you didn't have to get me anything."

"No, Matt, I did. I felt so shitty earlier. I know I can't buy
friendship. I always feel bad about giving friends gifts. I always worry
that they think I'm trying to buy them over. I'm not. It's just that I
never know what to get people. I thought that you'd like some wine, or
maybe..."

"Jim, it's awesome. Thanks so much. You don't need to worry. We can bust it
open and share it tonight. Ok?"

The smile returned to his face. "Ok, that's cool. Hey, let's go over to
Joey's party.  He's having quite a few people over."

We wandered down the hall. I could hear the thumping music get louder as we
approached Joey's room. When we got there Jim pounded on the door. There
was no answer, so he pounded again, a little harder. Joey opened the
door. "Lance!  Come on in!" He leaned over to Jim's shoulder and whispered,
"I've invited a ton of chicks, you're gonna love 'em."

Jim glanced over at me with a smile. "Joey, this is my friend from back in
Mississippi, Matt."

Joey peeked his head out of the doorway and looked at me. "Hi! I'm
Joey. We're gonna par-tay!" He yelled as he held up a beer and turned to
walk back into the room.

Jim and I followed him. It was another huge suite. There were quite a few
people already, mostly the groupie chick types. They all turned when Jim
entered the room. I could tell they were formulating the plan how to get in
his pants tonight.  'No chance, chickies,' I said to myself, 'he's all
mine.'

We partied for a while, chatting with the chicks and drinking stronger and
stronger drinks as the night went on. There was less interest in me, the
nobody, than there was in Jim and Joey. I started making up stories about
how I was the band's manager and handled all the finances. That got a few
of the girls more interested in me. Hey, I was jealous of the attention the
other guys were getting.

I couldn't help but staring at Jim across the room. He was being nice and
talking to all the girls, answering their questions, but skillfully
deflecting their attempts at getting close. He would glance over at me
frequently too and smile.

After a while Jim walked over to Joey and said something to him. Jim came
over to me and said, "Come on, let's go back to my room for some wine, I
need to get away from all this."

I didn't hesitate to say "ok," and stood up. Joey walked over after getting
one of the chicks off his lap. He spoke to Jim in a low tone, "Lance, I'm
trying to get you laid here. Where are ya going?"

"I'm just a little tired, Joe, I want to go back to my room."

"Tired?!" Joey said in a louder voice, and then quieted down again, "Lance,
come on. Look at these chicks. That one over there, with the red hair, I
can tell she wants you so bad. Go for it."

"Joe, I'm just not in the mood. We have to get up early anyways, so I want
to get a good night's sleep."

Joey rolled his eyes with annoyance, "Fine, whatever. All the more for me."
He walked back to the pack of girls waiting for him as we exited.

"What was that all about?" I asked Jim.

"Joey's been trying to get me laid for a while. I think it's a personal
mission of his or something. He sees that I'm haven't been so upbeat
lately, so he thinks that'll cure it. Getting laid has cured it, but not in
the way he thinks," Jim said as he looked at me with a smile.

"But dude, didn't you want that hot skanky red head?" I said in a surfer
voice, and both of us laughed.

We walked back to Jim's room and ordered some room service.

"Hey, let's bust open this wine," Jim said as he held up the bottle.

"Ok, I've never had wine that old before. This ought to be interesting." I
replied.

"Uh," Jim said. "There's a problem."

"What?" I replied.

"No corkscrew."

We both looked around for a corkscrew. In the little fridge, in the
cupboards, and the drawers around the suite, but none was to be found.

"We could just push the cork into the bottle, I guess," I said, holding up
a pencil that I found.

I tried jamming the cork into the bottle with little success. Chunks of the
cork were coming off. When I finally forced the cork into the bottle pieces
of it were floating around.

"Ah yes, we're drinking eighty year old wine by jamming the cork in with a
pencil - now that's classy." Jim said sarcastically.

It was a pretty funny situation. He poured each of us a glass of wine and
we both picked floating bits of cork out with our fingers.

After a time we were winding down a bit, both of us pretty tipsy and
feeling loose.

"So, Matt, were you able to get some time off to come with me on the tour?"

I hadn't even tried to get time off. It was the weekend, who was I going to
call? I wanted desperately to join him, but I had obligations, I couldn't
just walk away.

"Jim, I haven't even been able to work it out yet. I mean, this is pretty
quick notice. I want to come with you really bad, but it's too quick of
notice."

Jim leaned back a little in on the couch, it was clear he was a little
disappointed.  "Well, when can you come along?"

"I can't just pack up and leave, Jim. I have a full time job that supports
me. If I walk away, I won't have a job and I still have a mortgage to
pay. I don't want to sound crass, but I don't have the level of freedom you
do," I replied with some resignation in my voice. My heart was aching to go
along. I was thinking to myself that I could tell the whole job to go to
hell, that I loved this man and nothing else mattered, but I also knew
better. Life would catch up sooner or later.

"Yeah, I know. This sucks. I just want to be with you. Can you stay here
tonight?"

"Sure, I can, as long as you'll let me take a shower in the morning," I
said with a devious smile.

Jim hesitated for a moment, thinking of something to say, "I think that
could be arranged, but I hear that this hotel room only has enough hot
water for one shower, so we might have to share."

I smirked and quickly imagined myself showering with him tomorrow morning,
"Is that so?" I replied. "I don't think that'll be a problem."

We drifted off into other conversion. Being a person who thinks about the
logistics of life all the time, I was wondering if Jim ever intended to
tell the other guys in the band. Besides, how would I explain my traveling
with them on tour?

"Jim, we need to talk about how we're going to deal with this
relationship. Do you plan on telling the other guys? When I do meet up with
you on tour, how are you going to explain some stranger on the tour bus?
Not just a stranger... but a guy?"

"Yeah, I've thought about it. I'm not really sure. I've been wrestling with
it myself.  We do need to talk about this, I agree. But first, I'd like to
tell you a secret."

"What?" I replied.

Jim stood up and sat next to me, moving his mouth close to my ear, without
saying anything. I sat there, waiting for words to come out of his mouth,
but all I felt was his warm breath on my cheek.

I turned to say, "Are you gonna talk or..." and he moved his lips onto
mine. We passionately kissed, his tongue entering my mouth. He put his hand
on the back of my head, pulling me closer to him. I closed my eyes and let
the sensations run through my body.

Jim pulled away from the kiss.

"Is that what you wanted to tell me?" I said.

"No, that was a kiss. I wanted to say - " and he pushed me onto my back on
the couch and laid on top of me, again kissing me, both our tongues
intertwining. I could feel his hardon through the thin sport-pants as he
started to grind his crotch against mine.

I pulled away from the kiss and whispered, "Are you sure you want to do
this?"

"There's nothing I want more," He whispered back and he began kissing my
neck and ear.

I pulled his shirt over his head and he quickly complied. His chest was so
well defined. He was hairless except for a small amount right under his
belly button. I felt his solid pecs and began playing with his nipples as
he let out a groan, with his mouth still on my neck.

As I caressed his chest with my left hand I moved my right down to his hard
dick.  I love those sporty pants - they're silky and thin. I could feel the
warmth of his cock through the fabric. I began to caress it and he
responded with a shudder in his breath. He started grinding into me harder,
so I moved both hands down to his ass. I slid them under his pants and
underwear and felt his soft butt.

Jim responded by pushing himself up slightly so he could lift my own shirt
off me. We laid there bare-chested, admiring each other. My hands still on
his ass, I began to pull his pants down. He lifted himself and helped pull
them off. He did the same for me, pulling my pants off in no time.

We were both naked - I laying on the couch and him on top of me. His cock
was grinding against mine as we continued to kiss more passionately that
ever before.  The heat from his body was so soothing and felt so right. I
reached over him to feel his balls between his legs. He reacted with some
surprise and quickly spread his legs to allow more. I worked my hand back
from his balls to his asshole and played with it with a couple of
fingers. I could tell he was enjoying this from the increasingly louder
moans.

Jim pulled back and stood up. He grabbed my hand and started pulling me in
the direction of the bed. I followed and he guided me to laying down. He
moved his head down and began licking my hardon. By now I was harder than
ever before.  He slowly slid it into his mouth and began moving his lips up
and down my shaft with tenderness. I put my hand on the back of his head
and ran my fingers through his spiky blond hair. It wasn't long before I
tensed up and could feel my orgasm coming. I think he could sense it and
began sucking even harder. I let go and started shooting into his mouth. He
was doing his best to keep it all in his mouth, but a little leaked out
from the side of his lips. When I was done he let my dick fall back onto my
stomach he crawled back up the bed to kiss me again.

We were locked in that passionate kiss for a few moments when I pulled away
and rolled him over onto his back. I ran my fingers down his shaped arms
and kissed my way down to his belly. I began to play with his balls and
massage around his asshole.

Jim moaned again as I slid his dick into my mouth. His shaft was so smooth
and so hard. I could tell he was enjoying my fingers around his asshole, so
I decided to go a little further and try to slide a finger into him. He
didn't even hesitate and I began to push my index finger into his tight
hole. I slid it in a little at a time and began moving my finger around
inside him. This sent him over the edge and he bucked his hips up and began
to blow his load with a lot of force. I sucked it all down and kept sucking
until his spasms stopped. This was the first time I had tasted a guy's cum
and it was wonderful.

We again kissed for a while and were winding down on the bed. Jim moved in
close to me and I put my arms around him, resting my head on his warm, hard
chest. It wasn't long before I was asleep in total bliss.

---

Comments, suggestions, complaints, etc. are all welcome:
auto337794@yahoo.com.