Date: Sat, 22 Apr 2000 22:08:50 -0400 (EDT)
From: JT
Subject: Fated Love

  This story is fiction.  It doesn't represent the sexuality of any member
of N'Sync.  Please don't read if gay sex offends you.  Otherwise, go ahead
and read it.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I write it.


Chapter 2: All For Love


	I was mesmerized by what I am looking at, my head slowly moved
toward his cock.  Inches by inches, I was getting close to my target.
Inches by inches, I was getting closer to the object of my passion, the
object that soon would take my virginity, and join us together as one.  As
I got close enough, I could see a pearly white drop of precum on the head
of his cock. I stuck out my tongue to taste his seed, his cream, his
nectar.  It tasted so sweet.  No liquid on earth that could come close to
the taste of his invigorating juice of love.  My lips soon came in contact
with the gorgeous purple mushroom head.  I kissed it, my lips opened
slowly, and I slid them around the head of his cock.  I applied suction and
sucked up the head slowly, and then back down sliding my lips over it again
and again, loving the feel of it in my mouth.  It tasted so good.  The
texture, the softness of his cock tasted incredible in my mouth.  I could
hear soft moans escaped from JC's mouth as he put his hands on my head and
thrust up his hips at the same time slowly to force my head down further
on his cock.  I held on to his manly thighs as my head bobbed up and down
on his cock faster and faster.  Within minutes, JC's breathings were
getting heavier and heavier.  I could feel his balls constricted and his
cock expanded in my mouth.  He tried to pull his cock out of my mouth
because he didn't want to cum in mouth, but I resisted him.  I sucked
harder and harder on his cock while my hands began to explore every muscle
on his body.  My fingers sank deep into his ass cheeks to pull him deeper
into me.  I could feel the head of his cock rubbing against the back of my
throat.  I could feel his whole body convulsed, his ass cheeks squeezed
tightly together, and every muscle in his body contracted.  Then he shot,
and shot and shot in my mouth.  I tried to take all of his cum but there
was too much, and I couldn't take all of it.  But I still didn't want let
go of his cock as I milked it to the last drop.  Finally, JC has to stop
me and pull me into a tight embrace as his body flopped down on the bed.
"WOW!  Are you sure this is your first time baby? You suck better Monica
Lewinsky" he joked.
"Who says anything about you being my first? I had my practice with many
before you.  Let's see Tom, Dick, Harry oh and someone names Billy too I
think" I finished all the name as I tried my best not too laugh,
especially after the name Billy.  I was never good at holding my laugh
because I joined him the minute he burst out laughing.
"Oh I love you so much TT! You always bring out the best of me.  Ok! How
about I return the favor now?" he whispered in a low seductive voice into
my ears as his hands moved slowly down the buttons of my jeans.  He lay me
on my back as he gently lay on top of me making sure that he didn't put
all his weight on me.  God! I love him so much.
I couldn't remember when my T-shirt was taken off and I didn't really care
as I enjoyed the feeling I got from his small kisses on my body.  First he
kissed my heart, then his kisses were going down further and further until
he stopped at my belly button.  He stuck his tongue in it, and swirled
around.  My head quickly perched up as a moan involuntary escaped my
mouth.  A shiver ran through my whole body, and he could feel it because
he looked up and smiled.  I could see a pair of beautiful eyes full with
love and passion staring at me.  They were so beautiful, so exquisite, and
they were sparkling and intensifying by the golden light radiated by the
candles.  "Do you like it?" his voice was so low, it was almost inaudible.
He didn't wait for my answer as he continued his kisses further down while
his hands pulled my jeans completely off.  I could feel his nose buried
into my basked and he breathed in heavily.  My pulse quickened.  He took
in as much of my basket in his mouth as he could.  The feel of the dry
cotton, his lips and tongue on my cock made me burn with sexual energy and
desire.  I was now more eager for him to satisfy me than I've ever been in
my wildest dreams.  After a minute of working his lips and tongue on my
brief, he pulled it off to free my cock from its restraint and
confinement.  The next thing I knew was I experienced the most incredible
feeling in the world as my cock was enveloped by his lips.  In quick move,
he took me all the way down.  His mouth was so hot it gave me an
incredible sensation.
As if it was not enough for him to drive me crazy with the pleasure he has
on my cock, his hands moved up to my chest.  He began to massage my chest,
he rubbed them, squeezed them, and once in a while he pinched my nipples
tightly.  Time seemed stopped flying, the world seemed stopped moving.  I
couldn't think of anything but the feeling of his mouth on my dick, and
his assaults on my body. I began to shoot and shoot and shoot.  I have
never cum so much in my life.  He took it all without spilling a drop.  He
then moved up and kissed me passionately.  We kissed and kissed and kissed
while he was caressing me with his gently strokes.  He caressed my cheeks,
my neck sending multiple shivers through out my whole body.  I could feel
his hardening member rubbing against my thigh as we intimately showed our
love to each other through the kisses.  I spread my legs wider so he could
situate himself between me.  I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled
him closer and higher.  I could feel the head of his raging hard-on
rubbing against my hole.  He understood my intention perfectly as he
reached over my head and grabbed a bottle of lube.
He took some lube from the bottle and smeared it on his cock.  When he
finished, he looked up and saw me looking at him.  He smiled and asked
"Are you sure you're ready for this baby?"
I nodded, and at the same time my legs pulled him closer to signify that
I'm ready.  He positioned himself between my legs, and pushed the head of
his cock against my hole.  I gasped in pain as it went in.  The pain was
too much for me, but I didn't want him to stop as I tried not to show it
but I didn't succeed.  He tried to pull out but I stopped him.
"Give me a minute to get used to it" I spoke confidently.
He nodded as he took hold of my hands.  He brought them to his lips and
kissed them.  He looked straight into my eyes and said "I love you."  Then
he bent down and kissed me.  There was no lust, no lasciviousness or
desire in the kiss.  It was purely a tender loving kiss.  There was no
rush in our kissing.  At that moment, we were connected together, we
became one.  Our hearts joined at the same beat.  I know sex is great, sex
is excellent.  But love, love is grand, love is magnificent, and I
believed that there's nothing could compare to the love we have for each
other at that moment.  The pain was still there, but it was going away
quickly as my ass adjusted to the size of his cock inside me.  I squeezed
his hand gently and nodded my head slightly to tell him that I'm ready
again.  He understood it as he pushed himself more into me.  I could still
the pain tremendously but I also began to feel something else too.  The
pain was quickly replaced by a feeling that I couldn't describe it, a
feeling that I want him to stay like that inside of me forever.
We were making love for hours, and I meant it when I said for hours.  He
was so gentle to me, and yet rough in a way.  He always made sure that I
was ok, and through out the whole love making, he never took his eyes off
my eyes.  Once in a while he would bend down and give me kisses all over
my lips, my eyes, my nose and my forehead as he took long and slow strokes
in and out of me.  Once in a while, he would take a quick jab and plunged
deep into me and send me to heaven.  At the same time, he was singing
along with the music that he had programmed it to repeat for all the time
we made love.  And can you guess the song he has picked out?  If not, I
give you a hint.  It's the most beautiful song I've ever heard.  The
meaning and the lyrics are excellent, and I believed everyone has heard
that song at least ten times.  Every time when it came to the part "When I
look into your eyes, I know that it's true.  God must have spent a little
more time on you", he sang along with the music and looked deep into my
eyes.  Everything, everything was transmitted through his eyes, love,
caring, passion, tenderness.
I loved every second we spent making love to each other.  I loved the way
he made love to me, I loved his techniques, the combination of long,
gentle strokes and quick rough thrusts.  Every time when he was close,
every time when he was about to reach climax he would stop, and we would
kiss, we would fondle, we would cuddle and caress each other until he
calmed down, and ready for another round.  I was in heaven, he brought me
to the limit of ecstasy.  He gave me the experience, the pleasure I've
never experienced before.  But the thing I love the most was the total
love, attention and devotion that he gave me during our lovemaking.  He
showed them all through his beautiful blue eyes.  I was mesmerized by
them.  I felt like I was lost in an ocean when I looked at his eyes, yet I
felt so safe, so secure and warm.  I loved it when he took out his time to
give me kisses between his thrusts, hugging me in his long strong arms.
I couldn't remember how many times JC stopped to recuperate, but by the
time he decided to let it go, he kept cumming and cumming.  When he
finished, his whole body crashed on top of me. He fell so exhausted from
all sexual activities that he fell sleep immediately.  His long, muscular
arms wrapped tightly around my chest, and he whispered "I love you baby"
before he hit the dreamland.  I felt so happy so content as I lay there
snuggling in his arms, stoking them tenderly, soon I joined him in the
dreamland.  We both were woke up by the sound of the telephone ringing
later.  Neither one of us wanted to pick it up, but he gave up in the end
because whoever called was very persistent.
"Hellooo! Who's this?" he seemed a little annoyed.
I turned around, and pressed my face in his chest, rubbing my cheeks
lightly against his skin as I wrapped my arms around his waist.  The
friction caused by the soft layer of hair on his chest and my skin was
incredible.  The feeling was extremely better when he began to run his
fingers through my hair and massage my head.  I sighed happily, I guess I
got myself a perfect man.   His body is flawless from head to toe, and his
strength and stamina in bed are incredible.  The way he shows his love and
care for me is extraordinary.
"9:30 tonight? Why didn't you guys call me and tell me earlier?" he
sounded angry.  I couldn't hear who on the other side but I had a pretty
idea who it was.
"Ok! Ok! I'll be there and pick you up.  And Justin, next time call sooner
Ok?" he paused for a few seconds and listened "Ok! I'll see you later"
"Baby we have to get up.  I have to pick up the guys at the airport.  Do
you want to go with me?"
"Sure! I would love to but we have to get a shower, and get something to
eat first.  I'm starving"
"Off course! We still have plenty of time.  After we take a shower, we can
stop by your house and ask Kenny and Amy if they want to have dinner with
us"
I agreed with him but I didn't want to get up.  I didn't want to get out
of the bed because I was so comfortable.  He must have sensed this because
he got up and walked to the bathroom.  I sulked when he got up.
"Ok! You can stay here a little longer while I'll go, and take a shower
first.  Unless you want to take a shower with me" he said looking over his
shoulder with a gorgeous smile on his face.
My head quickly raised up because he caught my attention with the last
sentence.  Off course I want to be in the same shower with him.  Who would
be so stupid to refuse such an attempting offer?  I quickly got up and got
out of the bed.  The minute I stood up and walked away, I cried out in
pain and fell down on the bed.
"Ouch!" I shouted out.
"What's happened? What's happened?" he quickly ran in and sat down next to
me "What's wrong baby?"
"It's all your fault.  That's what's wrong" I said punching him in the
arm.
"What did I do?" he asked confusingly.
I pulled him closer and whispered into his ear what's happened.  After
hearing what I said, he got the biggest grin on his face while saying "I'm
sorry baby, I didn't know that it would hurt you that much."  By the look
on his face I could tell he wasn't sorry but proud of what he did if you
know what I meant.
"You should have known when you stick that monster inside of me.  I won't
be able to use it for a long time."
"It's not that big, isn't it?" he asked, still with that stupid grin on
his face.
"Well! I'm glad that it can get any bigger because if it does you will
split me into halves."
He laughed satisfied with my answer.  I tell ya it's all the ego thing.
"What are you laughing at? And how am I gonna be able to walk to the
bathroom?"
"Hmmm! That's can be arranged my love.  You don't have to worry my dear"
he got up and made a bow gesture before swiping me up to carry me to the
bathroom.
"You are so stupid something JC" I laughed.
"Yeah! But you still love me"
I didn't say anything because I was distracted by what's in front of me.
Right in front of my eyes was the sight of a beautiful erected quarter
size nipple.  I couldn't help it but moved in closer and licked it.
"Hmmm! You better stop it or I'm gonna drop you down here and have hot
passionate sex with you right away" he spoke trying to control his moan.
"I'm sorry I couldn't help it.  It's not my fault that you're too
irresistible, you know" I giggled.  I couldn't tell how long we were in
the shower but we took forever to clean each other up.  I couldn't keep my
hands off his gorgeous body.  I explored every bit of muscle on his body.
There wasn't a single place on his body that I missed.  He just stood
there looking at me smiling while I kissed his body, caressing and
cleaning it.
"You know at this rate we'll never have enough time for dinner and pick
the guys up.  How about we finish this up? I promise you next time when
we're in a shower I'll let you take as long as you like"
	When we finished, he immediately picked me up and carried me into
the bedroom.  I felt so happy that I just wanted to shout out to the whole
world that I found the perfect man.  He treats me like a fragile egg.  He
treats me like I'm his universe, and I enjoyed every second of it.
Fifteen minutes later we arrived at my house.  We didn't go out for dinner
because Amy was cooking for dinner, and Kenny was helping her.  Luckily we
arrived just in time to eat.
	"Well! Well! Well! Look who's here Amy.  It's about time you come
back.  I was about to send a search party for you.  So how was your day
with Prince Charming here?" Kenny asked with a big smile on his face.
	"Oh! It's ok! We didn't do anything special" I lied while walking
towards them.  I had to turn away and avoided Kenny's stare because
sometimes he can read me like a book.
	"Oh My God! Look at him Amy.  Oh My God! He's walking funny.  Tom
you're such a liar, and you said you didn't do anything special" he
dropped whatever he was doing and ran up to me.  He looked at me up and
down like he's inspecting me.
	My face turned ten shades of red.  I felt like all the blood run
up to my head.  As if it was not enough humiliation for me, JC butted in
"That would be my fault.  I made him walk that way, but isn't he cute when
he walks like that?" He giggled.  Somehow I had a feeling that he seemed
to enjoyed it by the way he said it.
	Lucky for me, I still have Amy, she always comes to my rescue.
But then again I took back what I just said as I heard what she said "Stop
it you two! You're making him blush.  So how was your first time Mister?"
	At that time, I wished there was a hole so I could hide in it.  I
guess I should make some new friends and get rid of these two.  They don't
seem to do anything besides making fun of me.
	"Yeah! Yeah! Go ahead and make fun of me for all you want.  And
you JC, go ahead and join them.  But from now on, don't come to me to take
care of that thing for you" I said pointing at his crotch.  I pretended I
was mad and stomped out of the kitchen.  I took a quick glance at them I
saw that they were looking at each other nervously.  I walked into the
living room and sat down on the couch.  Soon three of them entered, and
sat down next to me.
	"We're sorry Tom.  We were just kidding" Kenny apologized.
	"Yeah baby! I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to make you mad" JC said
looking down on the floor, and Amy was nodding her head.
	"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You had your fun, so just leave me alone ok?" I
tried not to laugh when I looked at their faces.  I tried to look away.  I
must have given it away when I smiled because Amy picked that up.
	"I know that face.  He's not mad at us, he's playing with us guys"
she said while moving closer to look at me.
	 I couldn't help it but burst out laughing.
	"See! See! I told you"
	Then three of them jumped on me, and attacked me.  I was rolling,
kicking and begging them to stop.
	"You should have seen your faces.  You look like you're about to
piss in your pants" I laughed when they stopped tickling me.
	"Don't laugh to soon.  Wait! I'll get you" Amy warned me while
Kenny nodded his head agreeing with her.
	JC didn't say anything, he just smiled.  He seemed relieved that I
wasn't mad.  For the next hour, we spent time together eating and joking.
	"Oh Tom, guess who we saw today at the mall?" Kenny asked.
	"Who?" I asked curiously.
	"Ray, we met him at the mall today.  He told us that he decides to
take his summer break in Hawaii.  We gave him our address, and he said
he'll come and visit us tomorrow."
	"Really? I can't wait to see him" I said excitedly.  Ray is a
really good friend of us.  We haven't seen him since high school
graduation.
	We finished dinner, and JC and I left the house at 9 o'clock to go
to the airport.  JC had rent a limo so it could fit everybody in it.  When
we got to the airport, we only have to wait for a little before they came
out.
	"Hey guys, how are you doing?" JC gave everybody a hug. Then he
turned to me and introduced "Everybody, this is Tom.  I met him two weeks
ago.  He's here on vacation with his friends, and they're home right now.
Tom, these are Joey, Chris Justin and Lance"
	I took turn to shake hands with each of them.  They all seemed
really nice and friendly.  But when I shook hands with Lance, I didn't
know why but I was trembling slightly when I looked at his eyes.  I don't
know but I could sense that somehow he knew something about me.  Somehow
he could look deep into me and know my secret that nobody but Amy and
Kenny know I believe.  Somehow he could penetrate the barrier, the wall I
have created for myself to hide behind it all my life.  I quickly averted
my eyes to avoid his stare.  Later on when I took a peek at him, out of
the corner of my eyes, I saw he was looking at JC.  His eye browns came
close together to give an indication that he was thinking.  I knew right
then that Lance was suspecting something.  I was so worried because even
though JC didn't say anything about telling the guys but I know that he
doesn't want to tell them.  I was dropped off at my house, and we agreed
to get together at my house tomorrow for lunch before we decide to do
anything.  That night I couldn't sleep as I tossed and turned the whole
night.
	The next day, everybody came over around 11 o'clock.  I wanted to
kiss JC so bad but I couldn't do it in front of everybody, and I knew that
JC felt the same thing.  Many times we had to run into the kitchen or the
bathroom to steal a few quick kiss.  We were eating and having a lot of
fun.  The rest of the guys from N'Sync were pretty cool, and I felt a
little bit more comfortable around Lance. I noticed that Amy and Chris hit
off really well.  By their body languages, I'm pretty sure there was some
chemistry between them.  Suddenly the bell rang, Kenny and I quickly got
on our feet and ran towards the door.
	"It must be Ray" we both spoke at the same time.
	Kenny opened the door, and when he saw Ray was outside he said
"Hello Raymond! How have you been buddy?" he stopped suddenly as he looked
at the person behind Ray "What are you doing here?" he nervously asked.
	"Hey Kenny, I met Ethan yesterday so I brought him here to meet
you guys" Ray walked forward to greet us.
	When Ray moved forward, I was able to look at the person behind
him.  The second I saw that person, my knee went weak.  I almost fell to
the ground.  My heart almost stopped beating.  I began to hyperventilate,
as I clutched on to Kenny for support as my body slowly crumbled on the
floor.  Kenny quickly caught me.  By now Amy and JC were walking toward
the door.
	"Is it Ray guys?" she asked, she immediately ran towards us as she
saw that Kenny was kneeing on the floor holding me.  JC followed her
shortly.
	"What the hell are you doing here?" she screamed at the top of her
lungs.
	"I brought him here to see you guys Amy" Ray spoke nervously
"What's wrong?"
	"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you right now but could you take him
away? We don't want to see him" Amy spoke.
	"Ok! I'll see you later! I'm sorry Amy" Ray turned around and
walked away with Ethan.
	"What's wrong with him Kenny? What's happened to him? Baby, are
you all right?" JC asked frantically.
	I couldn't hear anything JC said as I was holding on to Kenny
tightly, and my body began to shake.  By now, everybody else was rushing
to the door to see what happened.
	"Baby please answer me" JC was crying as he was holding my face in
his hands.
	"What's happened JC? What the hell are you doing? Why are you
calling him baby?" Joey screamed.
	JC was too worried about me he forgot all about Joey, Chris, Lance
and Justin "Eh guys, I'm sorry I didn't tell you.  Tom is my boyfriend" JC
nervous said as four pairs of eyed were looking at him.
	"What? Are you fucking crazy or something? you will ruin our
career" Joey shouted.
	"Shut up Joey! Look guys! I don't think it's a good idea that we
argue here.  I think we should go home and talk" Lance stepped in and took
control of everything.
	JC almost protested but Amy stopped him "Go JC.  Don't worry about
Tom.  We'll take care of him"
	The guys left to go back to their place while Kenny and I were
still on the floor.  I gradually pulled myself together "I should have
left here the first time I saw him" I spoke for the first time.  Amy
stepped forward and hugged us.
	"Don't worry Tom.  We are here with you.  He can not do anything
to you"  she assured me.
	"Where is JC?" I looked around looking for JC.
	"He went home with everybody else.  He was so worried about you,
he slipped and they found about you two" Amy told me.
	"I have to go and see him.  I want to be there with him when he
tells the guys" I quickly got up.
	"Let me go with you" Kenny said.
	"No, no, I'm ok.  Don't worry about me.  I'll see you later" I
said walking towards the door.
	When I got to JC's house, and walked to the door I found that the
door was open.  I walked in and didn't see anybody.  I heard some voices
in the kitchen so I walked to kitchen.  I stopped in the middle of the way
as I heard Justin's voice
	"I couldn't believe that you are gay JC.  The whole time I was so
scared to tell you.  I love you JC.  I've been in love with you for a long
time, but I'm too scared to tell you"
	When I moved forwards I saw Justin leaned forwards and kissed JC,
and soon they were engaged into the kissed.  I quickly turned around and
walked out of the house.  How could this happen to me? So many things have
happened in a short period of time.  I just found someone who I love
deeply, only to realize that I was about to lose him to another person,
and the nightmare from my past, the nightmare that I have escaped three
years ago came back to me.  When I got home, luckily Amy and Kenny were in
their room.  I closed the door slowly so that it doesn't make any noise.
The last thing I wanted right now was to talk to somebody.  I just wanted
to be alone.  I stepped into my room, closed the door and took out a piece
of paper to write to JC.
		"To JC, the man I love with all my heart
I guess when you read this letter I'll be gone.  Even though that we only
know each other for a short period of time, it seems like I have known you
forever.  You show me the most beautiful thing in the world.  You give me
the chance to experience what's it like to be in love.  You show me the
beauty of love that I thought never exist.  I love every second that I
spent with you.  If I have to start all over again knowing that I'll lose
you, I still won't hesitate to choose to be with you.  I would give up
everything just to be with you, just to look at your face, to feel your
arms around me when we wake up in the morning.  I guess I should have
stayed and fought with Justin heh?  But I couldn't.  I couldn't because I
am just a coward.  I'm afraid that I will lose the battle.  I don't want
to stand the pain of losing you.  So I guess the best way for me is t
chicken out, to run away from the most beautiful thing happened to me.  I
know it doesn't make sense but I believe that I get more for running away
than staying.  If I stay t fight and lose, then I'll lose everything.  But
if I run away, even though I can't be with you, I'm still happy.  I'm
still happy because in my mind I believe that you still love me and
remember me.  I guess I'm just a fool living in denial.  But that's good
enough for me, knowing that you love me, knowing that I occupy a space in
your heart.  I wish that you and Justin will be happy together.
							Love Always, TT"

I was crying the whole time I was writing.  The letter was stained from
the tears but I didn't care.  I put it in an envelope.  Then I got up and
put all my close in my bags.  I called the taxi and the airport to book a
ticket to fly back to Orlando.  I left the letter on my bed with a note
attached to it "I'm sorry guys! I don't want to leave you guys.  We
suppose to come to Hawaii to have fun together, but so much have happened
and I need to get away from here.  I'll see you guys back home, and please
give this letter to JC for me.  I love you guys."
When I got back to Orlando, I didn't go home.  I went to my uncle's cabin.
Every time I have something on my mind, I always come here.  For the next
three days, I stayed there by myself.  I didn't do anything beside crying
and thinking about JC.  I wished that I hadn't left.  I wished that I had
stayed, but I believed that I made the right choice.  The next morning I
decided to go home.  When I got home, my parents were working.  So nobody
was home but me.  I felt so lonely.  I wished that Kenny and Amy were here
so bad so I could talk to them.  I needed to talk to somebody so bad.
When I got in my room, I didn't ever bother to take out the clothes from
the bags as my body flopped down on my bed.  I felt so exhausted, I've
never been this tired in my entire life.  I was lying there for about five
minutes when the phone rang.  I didn't want to pick up the phone but I
decided it against it.
"Hello!" I spoke.
"Tom! Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you.  I was so
worried about you.  I called so many times and your parents told me that
you haven't got home yet.  Where have you been the last few days?" Amy was
bombarded me with questions.
"I went to my uncle's cabin" I told her shortly.  I was too tired to talk.
"Oh! I should have known.  We thought that you're still here.  Tom you
have to go back here.  JC is in the hospital"
"What's happened to him? What's happened Amy? Why is he in the hospital" I
quickly asked.
"Don't worry Tom.  He's ok right now.  After you left, he was so sad that
he didn't want to do anything.  He didn't sleep, he didn't eat so he
passed out from exhaustion this morning.  They keep him in the hospital
for a couple days.  He needs to see you Tom, he will not get better if he
doesn't see you"
"I will be there Amy, where is he staying? Oh and Amy please don't tell
anybody that I'll come.  I only want to see JC" When I got all the
information I needed from Amy, I quickly called the airport.  I was glad
that I didn't unpack my bags.
When I walked into the room, it was poorly lit.  All the curtains were
pulled down.  JC was lying on the bed, his eyes were closed and his chest
rose up and down slowly.  I stood there motionless for fifteen minutes,
looking at the man I love so much, the man who I would give my life to in
a heart beat.  Tears began to roll down my face.  The whole time, JC
stirred restlessly and mumbled something I couldn't figure out, but he
never woke up.  I didn't know when and how but I found myself standing
beside his bed.  I was looking at him.  He looked so cute even in the
hospital gown.  As I recalled, he always looks cute and gorgeous to me no
matter what he wears and where he is.  His face was angelic.  I stood
there absorbing the image of his face in my head, observing every little
features on his face.  The image that has been popping up in my mind every
time I closed my eyes for the whole time we were separated.  Every night I
saw him in my dream, he was standing smiling at me and I ran up to him to
hug him.  Only to find out I woke up soaked with sweats as the image of
him slowly disappeared.
I slowly sat down on a chair next to his bed, reached out my hand to take
his hand.  I leaned forwards and kissed it slightly as if I'm afraid that
if I wake him up, he would evaporate into thin air like he did so many
times in my dreams.  I looked up at his face again, I could never get
enough of him, his strong jawline, his beautiful eyes even when they were
closed, his long eye lashes, his big nose (have you noticed that his nose
is kinda of big, but it's so cute though) but the things I love the most
about his face are his lips.  His lips are pink and slightly pouted in his
sleep.  I must have kissed those lips a thousand time and never get enough
of them (Ahhh! I wish this is not a fiction L.)  They are so soft, moist
and have a sweet taste of strawberry.  Every time he kisses me, every time
I feel those lips on me, I could feel the shiver, the tingling feeling run
all over my body.  The first time I kissed him I thought it must be from
the chapstick or the yogurt he ate, but I found out later that it's his
natural flavor.  Ahhh! Those loving sweet lips!!! I could go on for pages
just describing them (Yeah right! Then you guys would track me down and
kill me J)
I couldn't help it but leaned forwards and kissed his lips, stuck out my
tongue and savored the sweet strawberry taste.  I whispered softly "I love
you, I love you so much JC".  When I pulled back I saw JC slowly opened
his eyes, looking at my face which was still wet from al the tears.  He
then closed his eyes again.  At that moment, that flick of a second, I
felt like somebody just ripped out my heart and stomped on it.  The pain
was so much that I could feel it aching in my chest.   He didn't even want
to look at me.  I guess I must have hurt him really bad that he didn't
even want to look at me.  I was startled when I heard what he said.  His
voice was so low, it was almost inaudible.  His eyes were closed the whole
time he whispered "Oh1 it's just another dream.  TT, where are you? I miss
you so much, please come back to me baby.  I promise you that I will never
hurt you.  Please come back to me, I can't go on without you."
I couldn't stand it anymore, I couldn't hold it any longer as I burst out
crying laying my head on his chest.  I cried my heart out, pouring out
everything that has been bottle up inside of me.  I was stuttering through
out my cry "I...amback JC, I'mback.  I don't want to leave you.  I'll
never leave you again.  I can't live without you either JC.  Even if I
can, I don't want to."
He sighed and said "Thanks God! It's not a dream.  Thank you God! Baby
you're back at my side again."  He ran his fingers through my hair and
rubbed my back slowly "It's ok baby! It's ok! Everything will be fine." He
assured me while he kept on comforting me.
I gradually stopped crying but I still kept my head on his chest,
breathing in the strong scent of his body, feeling the heat emancipating
from his chest.
"Do you know much I miss you?" he asked "Do you know how much it hurts to
see the person you love so much, the person who you would give your life
to walk out and give up on you?"
I gasped as I realized what I did and started to cry uncontrollably again.
JC slowly moved to his left a little bit and pulled my on the bed with
him, he pulled me into a hug that almost suffocated me "Don't cry my love!
Don't cry babe! I didn't tell you this to blame you or hurt you or make
you cry" JC said as he lifted my face and kissed my forehead "I just want
you to know that it's not the way you solve problems.  I know that you
didn't want to hurt me, that's why you left.  But do you realize that it
hurts me even more?  I can't go on a single moment without you telling me
you love me, without looking in your eyes and see that love.  TT, if you
ever plan to leave me again, please kill me before you leave because it
will be less painful that way.  I don't want to endure that pain again."
He stopped for a little bit, I could feel the pain in his voice when he
told me this, he raised his hand to wipe the tears away from his face,
then he continued "Baby, please promise me you never leave again no matter
what.  Please promise me you always stay with me and work things out" he
pleaded.
I couldn't ever speak even if I wanted to say so much.  I was too choked
up to speak.  How could I be so lucky to end up with such a wonderful
person like him?  It took me a while to pulled myself together.  I looked
up to him and held his face in my hands.  I gazed into his beautiful eyes
and said "I promise you if you promise me something too."

That's it for now guys.  I hope you like it.  Please email me back and
tell me what you think about it, good or bad I'll take it all.  If you
think it's bad, tell me so I can correct it.  I don't know if there are a
lot of spelling mistake because I'm too lazy to check them.  I send it in
right after I finished it.  So forgive me if you encounter any.

Bye everybody and see you next time.
Take care.