Date: Sun, 09 Jul 2000 16:24:34 CDT
From: David D <djackson41@hotmail.com>
Subject: fear-of-falling-3

   First off, sorry about the wait, I was on vacation and I wasn't able to
work on this story much.  I hope it is good and I would like to know what
you guys think.  So, e-mail me and complain or praise, whichever you want.
Thanks again, and remember this is fiction and not meant to suggest anything
about anyone and enjoy.


Chapter 3


"(Ahem), do you need some company?" asked a voice behind me that startled
the hell out of me.  I whirled around a bit too fast and fell off the step.
I just laid there for a second and just thought how funny I looked laying
face up on the pavement.

"Are you alright?" asked the voice as he came toward me.  In response, I
just laughed.  My laughing made him laugh and we just spent a couple seconds
laughing at me.

"I'm cool," I finally gave.

"That's good," he said, " here let me help you up."

"Thanks, I have to say, that was a smooth first impression, huh?" I said.

"Yeah, you do need a little work," he smiled.

"Yeah, no kidding.  I didn't hear you open the door and you kinda scared me,
a little," I said.

"No shit, It was either that, or you were trying to do some new dance move,"
he laughed.

"Thanks for not making fun of me," I smiled.

"No problem.  I feel your pain and I am going to do my best to exploit it,"
he said while patting me on the shoulder.

"You're too good to me," I told, "so why are you out here anyway?  I thought
you guys would be getting ready to leave," I said.

"We are, but it's only noon, and we don't have to be there until about 4,"
he responded.

"Oh, so why the hell are we here so damn early then?" I asked.

"We just thought it would be good since you're going to be here a while, to
let us get to know Joey's infamous best friend," he smiled.

"So we're here for me?  Wow, I feel special all of a sudden," I smirked.

"Yeah, well, you shouldn't, you're just going to get embarrassed.  We're
going to play a few pranks on you, boy," he said.

"Thanks, for the warning.  I'll be sure to act surprised," I said.  There
was a slight pause that was anything but uncomfortable.  I was surprised.
Usually around new people, there was an uncomfortable silence as I
desperately looked for something to say, but not with JC.  Then it hit me.
I need to know this before I get to know him a little better.

"Hey, JC, what is your real name?" I asked.

"Oh, my name is Josh Chasez, but everyone calls me JC," he answered, "Why?"

"No reason, I just wanted to know.  My nickname is JP," I said.

"Really?  What's your last name," he asked.

"Porter," I answered.  There was another pause and this time it was JC who
began the conversation.

"So, how long have you and Joey been friends?" he asked.

"Well, we were friends for 13 years this April, I think, no I'm sure it was
April," I answered.

"What do you mean were?" he asked.

"After the fact that he told you and Justin something very personal about me
when I made him promise to not tell anyone, I'm not sure that I want to be
friends with him anymore.  I know it sounds stupid, but I don't know if I
can trust him anymore," I stammered.

"You don't have to be so defensive.  I mean there's nothing wrong with being
gay," he said.

"I know.  But it's not like that.  I just feel that it should be my decision
to let someone know about a part of my life.  And if I so choose or choose
not to tell, it should be my decision and mine alone," I scolded
involuntarily.

"I see what you mean, but Joey has been your friend for a long time, longer
than any of us have known each other, can't you find it in your heart to
forgive him," he asked.

"I trusted him with a secret and he betrayed that trust.  I know what you're
saying about us being friends for so long, and that's why I know I'll
forgive him.  I've forgiven worse and he has too.  But right now I just am
not in the right mindset to forgive," I said.  Which was true, but now I was
feeling guilty for being mad at him.

"That's cool, but make sure you don't drag it out.  It's hurting him now
that his best friend is pissed with him," he said.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," I admitted, "And you are one sly character.
You came out here to get me to talk to Joey from the start.  And like a
chump, I let you weasel some sense in me."

"You found me out.  And you fell for it, like a chump, like a chump, like a
chump," he laughed.

"Use one of your own songs.  You know what?  There's a word for people like
you, you know, Jack-ass," I smiled.

"You wound me," he smirked.  At that moment, Joey opened the front door and
found JC and I standing around laughing to each other.  I noticed him first
and turned to face him.  I just looked at him and JC decided it would be
wise to leave us alone.

"Look, I," began Joey.

"Stop!!  You had me at hello," I began to pretend to cry.

"Loser," he said, "but does this mean I'm forgiven?"

"It does.  But Joey, it hurt..." I was interrupted by Joey.

"I'm sorry.  You're the one person in the world I can tell absolutely
anything to, and if you told someone what I told you, I would feel betrayed
too.  So, I'm sorry.  And know this I will never do that again," he ended.

"Good, now that we're partners again, when do we eat," I asked hungrily.


Chapter 4

    The non-concert, or whatever it was, went by pretty smoothly.  I was
able to be up on a platform with the stage manager above the ground so that
I was looking down at the boys.  I watched them perform, and I was
definitely impressed.  The boys performed "Bye, Bye, Bye" even though I only
heard the song a million times I still enjoyed listening to them sing it.
The way they played to the crowd got some of the older girls a little riled
up.  I was extremely thankful, at that time, to be up higher away from the
crowd. They scared me.  Even though they were young kids, they were as
aggressive as half starved hyenas during feeding time at the zoo.

"So, how do you know these guys," asked the stage manager referring to the
'Nsync boys.

"Well, I've known Joey just about my entire life and he asked me to come
visit him so I'm here," I answered.

"Really?  That's cool, so where are you from?" he asked.

"I live in the big NYC," I answered.

"Ahh...Is it true, about all New Yorkers being some mean ass motherfuckers?"
he asked then smiled.

"Yeah, I'm the meanest motherfucker.  The only reason why I'm being nice to
you is because we're so high up and I'm afraid of falling," I said.

"Well thanks for the favor.  So... how long are you going to stay in
Florida?"

"I'll be here for the next three months," I answered again.

"Oh, so you're just going to stay here to visit your old friend huh?" he
stated rather than asked.

"Yeah," I answered anyway, "so how old are you?"

"25.  Why do you asked?" he inquired.

"It's just that you seem kind of young to be so...important?" I gave.

"Thanks.  You're only the 100th person to tell me that.  God forbid that I
have a good job and be young at the same time," he answered with searing
sarcasm.

"Sorry if I offended you," I retaliated, "it didn't come out the way I
wanted it too.  I was trying to compliment you on the job."

"Thanks.  I know, I just wanted to be a dick to you," he said.

"Yeah, no shit," I answered with a smile, "Hey, can the guys see us up
here?"

"Yep, in fact with the lights the way they are they're the only ones who
can," he answered, flashing an attractive smile.  I smiled back and
proceeded to stand up.  I guess I should say "attempt" to stand up.  There
was no railing there for me to hold onto, and I sort of slipped, but the
stage manager was able to catch me before I fell off the platform.

"My hero..." I stammered in the best southern drawl I could muster before I
realized I didn't even know this guy's name.

"Paul," he answered my unasked question, "And you are?"

"John," I answered.

"Well John, looks like the show's over," he began, "we should be getting
down now."

"Yeah, I suppose.  Do you think it's safe now?  I mean those kids..." I
stumbled.

"I know what you mean, they are a little scary when it's time for the music
portion of the show especially for the boy bands," he snorted.

"I hope they calm down enough to let us through," I snorted back.  We got
up, me on my hands and knees crawling to the staircase.  Paul just laughed
at me.  We got down and he escorted me backstage to their dressing room.  He
began to turn to leave when I told him to wait.

"Don't you want to meet them?" I asked.

"Well... I don't know.  If they're as nice as you then I'd be glad too," he
smiled at me.  I involuntarily blushed.  ~What the fuck?~  I knocked on the
door that Paul brought us too.

"Who is it?" asked a voice on the other side I immediately recognized as
Joey's.

"Nobody here but your biggest fans," I answered in the best girl voice I
had.

"Really?  What you wearing?" he asked.

"Nothing but saran wrap baby," I said.

"Well then come on in," he opened the door with such force it was like a
powerful wind blew it in.

"Oh, my God," I said really loud, "It's Joey Fat-One.  Mr. Fat_One I am like
your biggest fan."  I exclaimed in a very high-pitched, feminine voice.

"Watch your mouth... diaper boy," he said with an evil smile.

"You wouldn't," I said knowing full well what that little nickname he had
for me meant if he told anyone, "I take it back, I take it all back."

"Thought so," he smiled, "who's your friend?"

"This is Paul," I said as I was walking into the room.  "He's the stage
manager in charge of this show, and the guy who saved my life" I finished
which made Paul laugh.  As I walked into the room the rest of the guys gave
me their full attention.  "Paul these are my new friends JC, Justin, Chris,
and Lance.  This guy right here is the best friend in the world, Joey," I
introduced.

"Nice to meet ya'll," he said.

"Yeah, you too," answered Justin.

"Yeah," said JC.  For some reason Justin gave a sharp look at JC.  I caught
it, but I didn't understand why he gave it.  I looked at Joey who averted
his eyes from mine.  ~That was odd.  He doesn't usually look away unless
he's hiding something.  Whatever.~  It was most likely none of my business.

"Yeah," Paul said into his headset.  "Sorry guys, I gotta go, but it was
nice meeting you all," Paul said before he left.

"Bye," I said, "So what do we do now?"  The general consensus was it was
time to eat.  I wasn't feeling very hungry at that time, but I was glad to
go with them.  We went to a semi-expensive restaurant and the waitress, who
was very attractive (if you swing that way), waited on us.  I noticed Chris
flirting like there was no tomorrow with this lady right from the start.  We
sat down at a round table.  Joey was on my right, JC on my left, Justin to
Joey's right, Lance to JC's left, and Chris was directly across from me and
I could see his interest in our waitress clearly.  When we sat down she
immediately recognized the guys, then she looked at me and a look of
confusion crossed her face I guess she was wondering what I was doing with
them.  I just smiled and shrugged which made her smile in return.  I have to
give her credit, she handled herself well and was charming in the process.

"Hello my name is Colleen and I'll be your waitress for this evening.  So
what do you guys want to order," she said in a warm and friendly voice.  The
guys ordered their food and I ordered a Caesar salad.  Joey just looked at
me funny.

"What??  I gotta keep this figure," I lied, I was actually feeling a little
under the weather.  He just rolled his eyes at me and smiled.

"What are you planning to do tonight?" I asked Joey.

"I don't know, are you up to going out?" he asked with a sly smile.

"Do you even have to ask?  Hell Yeah," I answered.

"God, you're just like him," said Justin referring to my comment.

"Yep, cut from the same mold," I said looking at Joey.

"Where do you guys find the energy to go out dancing so much," Chris asked.

"It's actually been a while since I've had the time or will to go out.  I
miss it.  There's something about losing yourself in the music and the crowd
in the clubs that just calls to me," I answered.

"Yeah, I'm saying," agreed Joey.

"Joey, the only reason you go to the clubs is to get you a little puh-tang,"
laughed Lance.

"It's just one of the reasons I go," he smiled.

"Chris, you stare any harder you're going to burn a hole in her ass," Justin
laughed.

"I'm not looking at her ass," Chris smiled shyly after being caught.

"I was going to say something about it, but I was going to let you slide on
that one," Lance gave, "Thanks for picking up the slack Just.  Justin just
smiled and chuckled.  The waitress came over to the table with our food, she
walked from my side of the table all the way over to Chris' to put the food
down.  ~Hmmm,  I think that he's not the only one with a crush on someone.~
An idea went through my head.  It was something that I used to do for Joey.
I began to get up from the table and Joey asked where I was going.

"I'm going to the bathroom," I gave trying not to look at him so he didn't
find out what I was scheming.  I headed in the direction of the bathroom
which was thankfully on the way to the kitchen.  I didn't realize, however,
that I was in full view of the table.

"Excuse me, Colleen?" I asked the waitress as she exited the kitchen.

"Yes?  Did you need anything?" she asked in the most helpful voice.  ~I love
this girl.~

"Actually I was thinking that I could help you," I answered.

"Oh, really?" she asked sort of suspiciously.  ~I don't blame her, it sounds
like I'm trying to pick her up.~

"You know, back at the table, I noticed my friend Chris, I think you know
which one I'm talking about?" I asked she nodded, "well he is sort of
interested in you, but he's kind of shy around beautiful women and well I
decided to help him out by coming over here to talk to you for him.  He
doesn't know that I'm over here so if you don't like him he won't be
embarrassed."

"Are you kidding me?  THE Chris Kirkpatrick likes me?" she nearly screamed
then hugged me like there was no tomorrow.

"Shhh," I said noticing that other people in the restaurant were looking at
us.

"Oh sorry, but yeah I think he's very cute," she answered, "what do I do?"

"Well... when you bring the check, put it down in front of him and then put
your phone number, name, and what time he should call you on a piece of
paper and drop it in his lap.  Then you should give him your sexiest smile
and walk away swinging your butt as much as possible," I answered.

"Um... okay," she said.  She hugged me a second time and kissed me on the
cheek.  "Thanks so much, you know you're a real good friend."

"Aww, thank you.  Hey, bring the check out now," I said.  She said "OK,"
then went to do what I told her.  I smiled at my good deed for the day and
decided to go back to the table.

"Chris...settle down now," I heard Lance say as I made my way to the table.
~Hmmm, I wonder what happened when I was gone.  He's so easy going.  I
didn't think anything could make him upset.~  As I sat down the entire table
became real quiet and all eyes were on me.

"What??" I innocently asked.  Nothing.  I turned to Joey and he met my eyes
with a "hope you have a good explanation" type of look.  My face contorted
into a huh?? look.

"So," came across the table, "how was your little trip to the bathroom."
The statement was filled with such sarcasm and anger I flinched after the
last syllable.  Again, huh?

"Anything exciting happen on your way to the restroom, is what I'm asking,"
he said with a little more bile.

"Chris..." said JC, the first time he spoke since we got there.  I turned to
Joey and he pointed to the spot where the kitchen door was.  Again, wha????
Qua????

"Did you have a nice conversation with the girl over there?" he said.
Ohhhhhhh, that's what he's talking about.  Then it hit me.  Chris doesn't
know I drive stick shift.  It looked to him as if I was flirting with her.
I smiled at the realization.  BIG MISTAKE.

"So, you guys going to fuck tonight?  You knew that I was interested in her,
but you went on and got with her anyway.  I hope you get herpes, you..."
Chris angrily professed.

"Hey," Joey interrupted him.  I looked around the table and no one else
looked at me.  ~Wow, I feel dumb.  Here I thought these guys were going to
be good friends to me, even Justin and Josh, who both knew about me didn't
even have the balls to say something.  Some friends.~  The weird thing was
that I didn't feel anything at this point.  I didn't feel sad or mad or
anything I just needed to leave.  I turned to Joey and asked him to take me
home.

"Yeah, sure Jay," was his response.

"Yeah, leave," was Chris'.

    Out of the corner of my eye I saw Colleen coming over to the table.  I
asked Joey to go start the car, because I needed to see something.  Like a
true friend he gave a worried look, but complied.  The rest of the guys
looked at me.  I just stood by the table looking at Chris in the face.
Colleen came to the table and did what I told her to.  She did it perfectly.
  I watched as she put the check on the table in front of Chris and dropped
something sort of heavy, like a napkin in his lap.  He looked at her and
she gave that sexy smile.  She said something to him in his ear and looked
over at me.  Then she tried to switch while walking away, but it wasn't
working for her.  Chris looked at me confused.  I had nothing but an
apathetic look on my face.  He opened the napkin and read the contents.  He
looked up in horror.

"Goodnight," I said then I smiled and I walked out of the restaurant and
Joey drove us home.  I told him what happened and he looked disappointed.  I
didn't ask who he was disappointed in, but I bet it was me.

    When we got back to his house all I wanted  to do was go to sleep.  I
went up to "my room" and went to the bathroom to run me a hot bath.  Before
the tub was ready I brushed my teeth and washed my face.  I went to my
backpack and got my CD player.  I took out the 'Nsync cd out and placed my
Garbage CD in there.  I turned up the sound as loud as it would go and
danced in the nude to "Temptation Waits."  This CD was the first one where I
could listen to the whole CD all the way through.  Then I decided to just
sit in the tub and try to relax.  I did my best not to think about what
happened tonight, but it came into my thoughts.  ~Why did things happen that
way?  Why'd he get so upset?  Why the hell didn't I say anything about what
I did?  But I knew the answer to that last question.  I didn't expect him to
say the things he did and when he did I was speechless.  I can't believe
that it ended like that though.  I just wish I had stayed in my seat or just
gone to the bathroom and this wouldn't have happened.~  I sighed as a shiver
went up my spine, I was thankful for the interruption of my thoughts.  ~It's
time for bed now~ I thought to myself.

( "I love you JP," James sighed after he came into the condom that was
deeply imbedded in my ass.

"I love you too Jamie," I replied in between huffs trying to catch my breath
after the long love making we just finished.  He pulled out of me and laid
flat on his back in the center of the bed.  He motioned for me to lay next
to him.  I laid on his left my head on his chest and my hand massaging his
rippling six-pack (Oh, god he was hot).  I looked up at his gorgeous face
and smiled as he smiled back at me.

"God, I missed you," he said as he put his arm around me and pulled the
blankets on top of us.

"Yeah, I missed you too.  Never go away like that again.  If you do, take me
with you," I began, "Even though it was only for a week my heart was aching
so bad.  I am not playing I will cut you next time you go away without me."
He giggled at my little "joke."  Little did he know that I was not joking.
He kissed the top of my head and held me closer.

"I promise I'll never leave you again, I swear it," he giggled, "you won't
have to cut me."

"That's all I wanted to know," I answered.  I kissed his chest and settled
in to sleep in the arms of the man I loved.  I closed my eyes and smiled,
but before I went to sleep I wanted to kiss him on the lips, I opened my
eyes to find James rotting right underneath me.  It looked like he had been
dead for years.  I screamed and leapt fifty feet off the bed.  I ran for the
door.

"Where're you going?" asked a very raspy voice behind me.  I turned around
to find the corpse wasn't dead.

"Oh, shit," I yelled as the door wouldn't come open.  He moved from the bed
and began to walk over to me.

"Why are you running from me?" he yelled, "I thought you loved me."  My
heart broke in eighths, I wanted to tell him I did love him.  I turned
around and saw a rotted corpse of my dead lover come towards me.  ~Fuck
that.~  I ran out of the room as fast as I could.  I ran until there was no
where to run, there was a wall in front of me, no door and no window, I
turned around to run the other way, but he was there.

"Stay away from me," I began to cry, "Why are you trying to hurt me?"

"You lied to me, you promised me..." he yelled in the scariest voice I had
ever heard.  I dropped to my knees and began bawling.  He walked over to me
and reached for my head...)

"Oh, God," I said as yet another dream woke me up.  I looked over at the
clock on the nightstand and it read seven o' clock.

"I refuse to go back to sleep," I said to myself, "I need to go to the
pharmacy for some new pills."  I walked out of my room and headed for Joe's.
  I peeked into his room to hear him soundly sleeping.  ~Just as I thought.
He was never much of an early riser.  It's good, I need to run anyway to get
my head clear.~  I went to my room and got ready to go.  I headed downstairs
and wrote Joey a note telling him where I went, he worries a lot.  I ran up
some hills and down slopes, I was starting to feel it when I came to a park.
  I decided to take the park path, as I was running down an empty trail, a
guy was running the opposite way.  I looked at him to say "hi" when I
realized who he was.

"Hey, Paul," I said getting his attention.

"Hey... John right?" he asked.

"Yep, it's weird meeting you here," I said as he walked over to talk to me.

"I know, small world," he smiled.  There was a slight pause before he broke
the silence.

"So I'm guessing your friend doesn't live very far from here," he asked.

"Nope, only 6 miles back that way," I answered, "You live up here then too?"

"Yeah, a couple of miles back that way too," he smiled.  He sure likes to
smile doesn't he?  "I'm headed home now."

"You like to run, too?" I asked.

"Yeah, I love it.  It allows me to clear my head and be alone at the same
time," he answered.

"That's exactly why I run too," I exclaimed.

"Looks like we have something else in common," he said.

"What do you mean, 'something else'?" I asked.

"Well we both have nice smiles," he chuckled.  I blushed for the second time
in as many days, what is going on here?

"Thanks," was my only response as my lips formed a permanent smile.  He
looked at his watch.

"I gotta go, I got to get to work in a couple hours, so I'll see ya...
tomorrow?" he asked.

"I'll probably be here around the same time," I gushed.  ~Now I'm acting
like a little school girl.~

"See ya then," he said before he ran off.  I smiled again and finished my
run.  I came back to Joey's only to find that there were two new cars in the
driveway, Chris' and Justin's.  ~Oh, great.  I knew I was going to have to
deal with them sooner or later.  Just not this soon.~

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
   This is the third installment to my story, I hope you guys are still
interested in it.  I would really like to hear from you guys on how you feel
about it so far so I could write a better story for you.  Thanks again for
reading this spiel and the next installment won't be so long a wait.