Date: Mon, 15 May 2000 19:04:19 -0400
From: DJ <djs-tale@cfl.rr.com>
Subject: Forever 117-119

Disclaimer
----------
	This story is fiction and completely in the mind of its author.
The author makes no claims as to the sexuality or personality of
any based-on-reality characters you may find here.  It's fantasy,
kids.  Remember that.

	Don't read this story if you're too young, or if it's illegal
where you live.  Frankly, you should consider finding a new place
to live if it's illegal, cause it must be a damn boring place
where you are now.

	Enjoy!



And now...'Forever'...



Chapter 117

	"Pretty amazing, isn't it?" a vaguely familiar voice said at my
side.

	"Why do you say that?" I wondered without turning to see who was
talking.

	"All of those people, crammed into that small little space, and
more than a few of them would kill to be where you are now.  And to be
with who you're with," the voice replied.

	"Yeah," I agreed after a slight pause.  "I guess it is pretty
amazing at that."

	I turned from my view onto Times Square to face the person who'd
been speaking.  It was a woman whose face I knew I should recognize,
but I couldn't quite put a name to the face.  She had brown hair.  And
her eyes...as I stared into her eyes, I knew how I knew her.

	"Deb, right?" I questioned, although I was pretty sure I knew the
answer.

	"Got it in one, Dylan," she replied, holding out a hand to shake
mine.  "I'm impressed."

	"It's the eyes," I told her honestly.  "There's something in them
that just...sticks out in my memory."  I swore I saw her blush a little
in the dim light of our corner.

	We were standing in MTV studios in Times Square.  That was the
window I'd been staring out of when she'd first come up to me.  The
view outside was people, as far as my eyes could see.

	It was New Years Eve, again.  In a few hours, we'd roll over into
2001, and another year would be only a memory.  And what a memory it
would be.

	In the time since last New Years, my entire life had shifted.
I'd moved across the country, taken and subsequently left a new job,
met some of the greatest friends a guy could ask for, and met, and
nearly lost, the man that I would some day call `husband'.  A man that
I already considered the other half of my soul.

	I turned to look for him now, smiling when I finally caught sight
of him across the room.  He was standing with the rest of Backstreet,
doing a live spot for the MTV New Years Eve bash.  He was smiling and
joking with Nick, something that was good to see happening.  My own
smile slowly faded as I thought back over the last weeks.



	The other guys had been quick to welcome Nick back into the group
when they'd returned from their breaks back in November.  It took some
adjustment, and there'd been awkward moments along with the occasional
ignorant slip of the tongue.  But, on the whole, Nick integrated back
into the group as well as he'd ever been.  With one noticeable
exception.

	The relationship between Nick, Kevin, and I changed after he got
back.  We were still friends, and if one of us ever needed the other, I
know that we could still count on him being there.  But, there was a
distance there that hadn't existed before Nick's revelation and
subsequent disappearance.  No matter what any of us did, I don't think
that would ever change.

	There'd been times when I would catch Nick watching Kevin and I
with a look of pain in those blue eyes of his.  But, following his
advice, I didn't limit my affectionate displays with Kevin at all.  Or,
rather, I tried not to limit them.  Sometimes, I couldn't really help
the reflexive reaction of pulling away from Kevin when I'd catch sight
of Nick.

	There'd also been times when Nick would seem to forget the
tension between us and toss an arm over my shoulders or give me a hug.
I'd seen the look in Kevin's eyes a few of those times.  He'd always
tried to hide it from me, but I knew he was still bothered knowing how
Nick felt.

	The guys had busted their butts through the rest of November.
The CD didn't quite make it out before Christmas, which was a huge
disappointment to both the fans and the guys' management.  But, the
album was now on target for release in mid-January.  The presales for
it were already through the roof, so it looked like Backstreet would
stay at, or near, the top for at least another year.

	The wedding plans had progressed once Nick was back and the album
was moving forward.  Since Kevin was in the studio a lot, I spent a lot
of my time coming up with the plans so he and I could talk about them
in his free time.

	We were now scheduled to get married at the end of January.  The
guys were going to be doing massive promotions for the album through
most of the month, including a return trip to these studios the day of
the album's release.

	Our wedding day was one Kevin and I had to fight with his
management group over, but we eventually won out.  Unfortunately, the
honeymoon had been cut down to only five days, as the guys were
scheduled to get into rehearsals for the next tour, which would be
starting in early March.  Once again, our lives were set aside for the
group.

	"Dylan?" Deb's voice roused me from my thoughts.  I turned to
look at her, raising a questioning eyebrow in her direction.

	"Sorry," she said.  "You just seemed a million miles away."  I
smiled wanly.

	"I guess I was," I replied.  I shook myself a bit, trying to lift
the gloom that had suddenly fallen over me.  "What've you been up to?
For that matter, what are you doing here?"  I caught myself at how rude
the question might seem, but Deb just smiled her distinctive grin at
me.

	"Howie invited me up," she replied.  "Since I didn't have
anything that could really compare with New Years Eve in Times Square,
I decided to take him up on it."

	"You two are getting pretty close, then?" I asked.  Another wave
of neglect-guilt slid through me.  Howie was yet another friend whose
life I'd been ignoring in the last six months.

	"Yeah," she replied with a shy glance in Howie's direction.
"We've been talking a lot.  I really like him."

	"He's definitely one of the best," I told her.  "Just consider
carefully what you're getting yourself into."  I was surprised to hear
a trace of bitterness in my voice.  Judging by the look on her face,
Deb picked it up, too.

	"Look, Dylan," she began, "I know we aren't exactly best friends
or anything," she paused.  "But, if you need to talk," she left the
words hanging.

	"Don't worry about me, Deb," I said, trying to shift attention
away from my discontent.  "I'm just a little tired.  It's been a long
year."  She studied me for a minute, obviously unsure if I was lying.
Fortunately, Kevin chose that moment to interrupt.

	"Hey, D," he said, sliding his arm around my waist from behind
and giving me a light kiss on the back of the neck.

	"Hey, Kev," I replied, leaning back into him and temporarily
forgetting everything else.

	"Having fun?" he asked, rocking me in his arms a little.

	"Sure," I replied, unable to put much enthusiasm into it.

	Kevin picked up on my mood.  He shifted me around so we were
facing each other.  He put a hand to my cheek, shifting my face so we
were staring into each other's eyes.

	"I'm sorry, sweetie," he apologized.

	"For what?" I asked, surprised.

	"That we had to do this.  That we couldn't just usher this one in
by ourselves," he replied.

	"Kev, don't be silly, man," I told him.  "It's not your fault."

	"Maybe not, D," he said, "but I'm still sorry you're not happy."

	I felt bad, bringing him down when he'd obviously been having fun
before.  And the worst part of it was that I had no idea what was
bringing me down like this.  New Years was normally a fun holiday, a
time to wipe the slate clean.  Maybe the past was just haunting me too
much.  Or maybe, the future was rushing up so fast that I was getting
scared.

	I leaned into Kevin and gave him a light kiss.  We were blocked
from most of the crowd by some equipment, so I didn't feel too bad
about the very public setting.  I needed to let him know I was ok.

	"Kev," I whispered when we separated moments later.  "Don't worry
`bout me, okay?  I'm just in a weird mood tonight.  Just have fun, and
I'll try to do the same.  Deal?"  He studied me for a moment, then
nodded and gave me one of those rare, killer Richardson smiles.  My
heart jumped a few extra beats.  I would've moved in for another kiss
if someone hadn't cleared their throat behind me.

	"Oh, yeah," I said, remembering I'd been talking with someone.

	I turned back to Deb, keeping a hand on Kevin's arm so it
remained around me.  He rested his head on my shoulder from behind as I
introduced him to Deb.

	"Deb, have you met Kevin, yet?" I wondered, unsure if I was the
only one that knew who she was.

	"No, haven't had the pleasure," she replied.  "Kevin, I'm Deb.
Nice to meet you."

	"Pleasure's mine, Deb," he said, reaching out to shake her hand
politely.  "How'd you manage to snag an invite into the festivities
tonight?"

	"That'd be my fault," Howie's voice came from behind Kevin.  We
all turned to look at him as he walked over to Deb and took her hand.

	"Deb and I've been seeing each other for a while, now.  Or
talking with each other, anyway.  We haven't seen much of each other
lately," Howie said.

	"Yeah," Deb spoke up.  "Unfortunately, SOME of us can't just
traipse around after our hot boyband boyfriends like OTHERS can," she
said.

	"Whatever, smartass," I said, a smile on my face for her sarcasm.
"It's not my fault that Kevin's such a big baby and can never sleep by
himself."

	"Hey!" Kev spoke up, joining in the joking.  Howie laughed at
him.

	"Yeah, it used to be really bad before Dylan came along," he
said.  "Kevin was constantly pestering us to let him share our rooms.
You'd think someone as OLD as he is would be able to sleep by himself."

	"I'm not that old, Howie," Kev said.  "Besides, if I'm not
mistaken, you're pretty close behind me."

	"Yeah, I am, but you'll ALWAYS be old to me, `Daddy'," Howie said
with a big smile.

	"Hey, don't be callin' him `Daddy', Howie," I said, then paused
to get a really dirty leer on my face.  "That's MY nickname for him!"

	"Ew!" Deb exclaimed, the shock on her face warring with the laugh
trying to get out.  "Too much information!!"

	We all busted up, then.  We settled into an easy conversation,
with Kevin standing behind me the entire time, loosely holding me
against him.  I relaxed for the first time that evening, enjoying the
company of my friends.

	Howie gave us the lowdown on his relationship with Deb.  We
explained to Kevin how we'd met her that day this summer in the mall.
I griped at Howie about his dragging me all over town that day for that
CD.  He just laughed and told me that it'd been worth it.

	Deb wasn't too shy about speaking up, something I found
refreshing.  We'd been dealing with a lot of sycophant types lately,
always artificial, always kissing our butts.  I was pretty sick of it.
I preferred those who told it like it was, and Deb definitely fit that
bill.  I thought that Howie could use someone like her around to keep
him anchored.

	"Hey, guys," AJ said as he walked over.  "It's time to get
ready."

	"Ok," Kev said.  He turned me around in his arms again and gave
me a kiss.  "Time to go to work, honey," he whispered to me.

	"Have a nice day, dear," I said with a smile, trying to keep up
the lighthearted mood we'd developed.  "Play nice with the others."

	"I will, sweetie," he chuckled, giving me another kiss before
walking off.

	Deb excused herself for a bit, too.  I think she wanted to look
around, check out the studio.  She was pretty big into the music scene,
and I'm sure she wanted to see who else she might get a chance to meet
tonight.

	I turned back to looking out the window, trying to blend into the
background a bit.  Times Square was jammed with people.  I shuddered a
little at the thought of being stuck in there with them.  While New
York was a hotspot at New Years, I still couldn't imagine being in the
middle of that crowd of drunken party animals.

	"Dylan?"

	"Yeah?" I answered as I turned to see John Norris standing there.

	"How's it goin'?" he asked.

	"Pretty good, John," I replied with a smile.  "You?"

	"Not doin' too bad.  These New Years parties are always a lot of
fun, but can also be a lot of hassle," he said.

	"Yeah, I guess it can't be too much fun working on New Years," I
said, "even if your job is to party."  He chuckled at that.

	"Listen," he said, looking a bit more serious.  "Would you mind
doing a short interview?  Nothing in depth, just a few questions about
the party and your plans and stuff."

	I hesitated, not sure it would be a good idea.  I'd always liked
John, having watched him on MTV for nearly his whole career there.
But, the fact is that I was worried about saying the wrong thing.  I
studied him for a moment before reluctantly agreeing.

	"Great," he said, relief obvious on his face.

	The fact he felt relieved triggered a warning in my brain, but it
was a little too late as the cameraman was already standing there.  I
was outfitted with a mic and told to smile.  Then, I was doing my first
solo interview.

	"We're talking with Dylan Weston, whom many of you might
recognize as the fiance of Backstreet Boy Kevin Richardson," John said
into the camera.  Then he turned to look at me.

	"Enjoying yourself tonight?" he asked.

	"Oh yeah," I replied, smiling a big fake smile.  Kevin had taught
me the `public face' a while ago.  "Whole lot better than my last New
Years Eve."

	"What'd you do then?" John wondered.  I chuckled, glancing at the
camera a second before turning back to him.

	"Well, John, last New Years Eve, I hung out and watched the MTV
Millenium party so I could catch the premiere of the Backstreet Boys'
new video," I said, a little embarrassed.  John thought that was pretty
funny.

	"You actually spent the Millenium Eve at home to watch a
Backstreet Boys video?" he asked.

	"Hey," I said in mock indignation.  "Last year was only the
Millenium Eve cause of the media, dude.  Tonight's the TRUE Millenium
Eve.  Besides, I really like the Backstreet Boys!"

	"That's gotta be obvious by your current boyfriend," he laughed.
So did I.

	"And speaking of loving BSB, when's the wedding?" he asked,
knowing I wouldn't answer him truthfully anyway.

	"Come on, John-boy," I said.  "You KNOW I can't give that away!"

	"Not even a hint, huh?" he asked.  I could tell he wasn't serious
about pursuing this.  He just did this one to tease the viewers.

	"Well," I said, doing some exaggerated thinking.  "We'll be
married before the Fourth of July.  How's that?"

	"Probably gonna have to be enough, for now," he said.  His
expression suddenly shifted, becoming more serious.

	`Uh oh,' I thought.  `Here comes whatever it is he REALLY wanted
to ask.'

	"We've been getting a lot of response from BSB fans about you
two," John said, obviously leading into his topic.

	"How do you respond to the fans who say you're only after this
for the fame or for Kevin's money?"  I hesitated in answering, leaving
him an opening to continue.

	"Or to the allegations by some out there, even others in the
music business, that you somehow coerced Kevin into this?"  I finally
pulled myself together to answer.

	"John, that's ridiculous," I said firmly.  "For one thing, our
marriage, while special and important to both of us, isn't legal.  I
won't have any claim to any of his money.  And anyone who says that I'm
in this for fame obviously hasn't BEEN famous before.  It's a pain in
the ass, frankly."

	"And as for anyone who actually thinks I could coerce Kevin into
this, I say to pull their heads outta their asses," I said, my voice
turning fierce.  "For one thing, it isn't nearly as easy to do
something twisted like that as people obviously think.  For another,
Kevin's way too strong-willed and independent to be sucked into
something so warped."

	I tossed my microphone to one of the assistants standing behind
the camera, then turned and walked away, leaving John scrambling to
close out the segment.  I headed for a door, not knowing where it led,
just knowing it was better than being in this crowded hole a minute
longer.



Chapter 118

	"You okay, Dylan?" AJ said as he walked over to me.

	"Yeah, I'm fine, AJ," I said, trying to muster a smile.  "Just a
little claustrophobic in there is all."

	I'd managed to get back to the dressing room that MTV had
provided for the guys.  Luckily for me, Tom had been at the door, so I
hadn't had a problem getting in.

	"Bullshit," AJ said as he dropped onto the couch next to me.  "I
saw what happened.  John ambushed you, right?"  I just nodded.

	"Did anyone else see?" I wondered. "Did...did Kevin see?"

	"I don't think so," he told me.  "He was doing some autographs
for a couple of fans."  I was relieved.  I didn't really want Kevin
worrying about this stuff tonight.

	"What did he say?" AJ asked.

	"Nothing important, AJ," I replied.  "Just dredged up some old
gossip."

	"That's not really like him," he said.  "I mean, he's used the
ambush thing on me before, but he always had more than just empty
gossip to talk about."

	"He asked me how I felt about the fact that people believe I'm
only in this for the money.  Or how I felt that people still believe I
somehow twisted Kevin into this."

	"Oh," was all AJ replied.

	"Yep," I said, not really sure what else was needed.

	We sat there for a few minutes in silence.  Tom knocked on the
door then to remind AJ that he had a performance.

	"Shit," AJ said, "I almost forgot."

	"Gee, I must be great company if YOU can forget about a stage
appearance," I said, trying to joke a little.  AJ chuckled as he stood.

	"If you weren't with Kevin," he said, "I'd snatch ya up in a
second."

	"But, I am with Kevin, and that's that," I replied.

	"I'm glad you know that," AJ whispered, looking into my eyes.
"Now, I'm thinkin' you'd better come back with me.  Kev's gonna notice
you're gone pretty quick, especially if you miss this performance."

	"True," I said, standing to follow him to the door.  "Thanks for
coming after me."

	"Any time, DJ," he said, giving me a strong hug.  "I'll always be
around when you need me."



	The guys performed a number from their new album.  I'd already
heard it a dozen times, but having the crowd around energized the guys
in different ways than when they were in the studio.  It really was
excellent to watch.

	By the time they were done performing, it was already after
11:00.  Midnight, and another year, were fast approaching.

	"Hey, sweetie," Kev said as he again draped his arms around me.

	"Good performance, love," I said.

	"Thanks," he replied as he put his lips to my neck.  He rubbed
against me pretty hard, surprising me with his ardor.

	"Something you're tryin' to tell me, Kev?" I joked, pressing back
into him.

	"Mmmmmm," he moaned softly against my skin.  "You KNOW how I get
after we perform."  I chuckled.

	"Yeah," I replied.  "I do seem to recall a little...heat rising
after a show."  That got him to chuckle.

	"You wanna sneak away and do somethin' about it?" he asked.

	"Why sneak away?" I joked.  "Why don't I just go down on you
right here?  I'm sure these folks wouldn't mind at all."  We both
cracked up on that.

	"Alright, you two," Brian said as he stepped up and put a hand on
Kevin's shoulder.  "You need to cool off!"  He was laughing at us.

	"Hey, don't blame me," I defended myself.  "I was just mindin' my
own business when your sex-starved cousin attacked me."

	"Kevin, is this true?" Brian asked, trying to look stern with his
cousin and only partially succeeding.

	"Sorry, B-Rok," Kevin said, looking over my shoulder at Brian.
"I just can't help myself.  Dylan hasn't given me any for ages and," he
started.

	"AGES!" I interrupted him.  I turned my head to the side to look
at him.  "Kevin, it was last night!"

	"Like I said, ages," he said, smiling at me.

	"Ok, that's more than I ever needed to know about the two of
you," Brian laughed.  "But you'd better cool it for now.  We don't need
you mating in MTV's studio."

	"But, why not?" I wondered sarcastically.  "Probably be the best
rated show in MTV history."  Brian just gave me a look.

	"B, you're such a spoilsport," Kevin said as he eased his hold on
me.

	"Dylan?" I stiffened when I heard John Norris' voice.

	"Yeah, John?" I asked, trying to keep the resentment from my
voice.

	"Listen, I'm sorry about earlier," he apologized.

	"What happened?" Kevin spoke up.  From the tone in his voice,
he'd gone into protective mode.

	"Nothing important, Kev," I said, reassuring him and letting John
know with a look that I didn't want him talking about it.  "Just a
little misunderstanding.  Water under the bridge, ya know."

	John nodded, thankfully picking up on my message.  Kevin squeezed
me a little before nodding.  I sighed in relief, glad we didn't have to
deal with it tonight.  I figured I could talk to Kevin about it later
when I'd had some time to decide if it really mattered.

	"Hey, guys," AJ, Nick, and Howie joined us, then.  Deb wasn't
holding Howie's hand, but they were standing fairly close together.
John drifted away quietly as the rest of the family crowded in close.

	"Pretty amazing to consider another year's gone," Nick said
quietly next to me.  I nodded in agreement.

	"A lot's changed," I said.

	"Yeah," he agreed.  "It sure has."

	We all talked for a while then.  Occasionally, one of the guys
would get pulled away from the rest of us for an appearance or an
autograph.  But, as midnight neared, all of Backstreet, as well as
their respective dates, crowded together.  And, as the last seconds
ticked down, the family counted them off together.

	"5...4...3...2...1...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!"

	Everyone yelled and hugged.  The music was screaming throughout
the studio.  But, the noise from the people was so loud, I couldn't
even tell what the DJ was spinning.

	The guys and I all exchanged hugs.  Nick gave me a little peck on
the cheek before turning to hug Brian.  Their relationship had been
growing stronger again since the incident in November, something I was
glad to see.  Nick needed Brian, and Brian needed Nick.

	I felt a tug on my hand and turned to see my man standing there,
smiling among the crowd.  He pulled me closer, urging me to follow him
as he slipped out of the chaos of the studio and back into the hall
leading to the dressing room.  Tom gave us a knowing smile and wished
us a Happy New Year as we walked inside.

	"Happy New Year, sweetie," Kevin said, taking me in his arms and
wrapping me up in his warm strength.

	"Happy New Year to you, too, love," I whispered into his neck.

	And then he kissed me.  And the rest of the world just faded away
into nothing.



Chapter 119

	"No, I'm not doing any more interviews, and that's final!"  I
slammed down the phone, refusing yet another interview request.  For
some reason, in the three days since my impromptu interview on MTV, I'd
been fielding dozens of requests for more interviews.  It felt like
dozens, anyway.  I'd refused them all.

	I sighed, gazing around our hotel room.  Another hotel room.
Another city.  I had to actually stop and think about which city I was
in this time.  I shook my head as I remembered we were still in New
York.  I couldn't believe they were starting to run together so much.

	Kevin and the guys were out doing another promotion of some kind
today.  I had turned him down when he'd asked if I'd go with him.
Frankly, I wasn't really up to the public today.

	Actually, I hadn't been up to the public since New Years Eve.  I
didn't want to face people any more.  The months after Kevin's injury,
our subsequent vacation, the time we spent while he was in the studio,
had all been time without the adulating masses of fans.  There were a
few here and there, but nothing like the last few days.

	Backstreet was hot again.  The new album was going to do huge
sales in the first week if projections were accurate.  There was even
the chance, however slim, that they'd break `NSync's record for sales
with `No Strings Attached'.  The first single, the one that they'd
performed at the MTV studio, had hit the radio and was screaming it's
way up the charts.  The guys would be taking two days next week to
shoot the video for it.

	I was happy for Kevin and the guys that things were going strong.
There'd been a lot in the last year to cause the guys to doubt how well
they'd be received with the new album.  Apparently, the doubts weren't
necessary.  The fans still loved them.

	And were becoming more and more vocal about hating me.

	I don't know what triggered it.  I'd thought that we'd gotten
past all of this when we did that press tour last year after Kevin came
out.  But, something in the last two months had people attacking me
again.

	I could only guess it was the wedding.  People knew it was going
to happen soon, even if no one knew specifically when.  I couldn't come
up with any other reason why I was becoming a focus for attention
again.

	The biggest thing I'd been hearing had to do with money.  It came
out in a tabloid somewhere that I wasn't working anymore.  So, now I
was a gold digger, only after Kevin for his money.  I'd twisted him
around, wrapped him around my little finger and was using him to
support myself.  If only people knew how crazy this whole unemployment
thing was making me.

	I grabbed my jacket and headed out the door, determined to get
some fresh air.  Or as fresh as the air in New York City got, anyway.
I asked the doorman for directions to Central Park, then made my way
from my hotel.  Our hotel wasn't far from the Park, so I didn't bother
getting a cab.

	I wandered around for a while, not really paying attention to
those around me.  The snow on the ground sparkled in the small amount
of sunshine that was slipping through the clouds.  I just took the time
to enjoy the season and tried to puzzle out a solution to my problem.

	I resented the group.  Plain and simple.  Ever since that night
when Nick came back, that night when Kevin had told me he had other
dreams, other plans he'd like to fulfill, the idea had grown in my head
that we might be able to get away from the fame, away from the crowds,
away from the constant `beck-and-call' of his managers and fans.
Before that, I'd never considered Kevin outside of the group.  Now, it
was all I could think about.

	And now, there were the fans.  The gossip.  The sudden rumor
mongering that had died down so much for so long.  This intense belief
that I was somehow responsible for hurting Kevin, for doing something
hateful to him.

	And then, it hit me.  The solution.  Well, actually, it was a
snowball, but the two hit at about the same time.  I knew what I had to
do to solve at least one of my problems.  I turned and headed back to
the hotel, ignoring the apologies of the woman who'd struck me with the
snow.



	"Kevin, we need to talk," I told him that night once we'd settled
after dinner.

	"Sure, D, what is it?" he asked.  He barely looked up at me from
the papers he was reading.  I sighed and decided to just spit it out,
knowing what I had to say would get his attention.

	"Kevin, I want a prenuptial agreement," I said.  As I'd guessed,
this got his full attention.

	"What?" he asked, looking over at me and dropping the stack of
papers from his hand to the table.

	"You heard me, Kevin," I answered.  "I want a prenup."

	"Dylan," he began, then hesitated.  I could tell he wasn't sure
how to respond.

	"Dylan," he started again.  "We're not legally getting married.
A prenup isn't worth anything in our case."

	"I disagree, Kevin," I said, standing to pace around.  "It's a
declaration to everyone that I'm not after your money.  It lets us both
know where we stand."

	"I already know where I stand, Dylan," Kevin said.  Something in
his voice made me turn to stare at him.

	He was angry.  Really angry.  I was surprised, unsure where this
sudden emotion was coming from.  I hadn't really considered he'd react
this way to the suggestion.

	"What's wrong?" I asked.  "Why're you mad?  I just want us to
sign something to say that I won't try to sue you for money or assets
when I leave."  I cringed inside as I instantly realized my slip.

	"WHEN?" he wondered, his voice deathly cold.

	"Kev," I began.

	"'When I leave'.  That's what you said, Dylan," he said, fuming
at me.

	"Kevin, that's NOT what I meant," I tried to explain again.

	"Forget it, Dylan.  I won't sign any prenup.  I won't acknowledge
some stupid damn rumors," he told me as he stalked over to the door.

	"Kev," I started again.

	"No, Dylan.  I refuse to sign some stupid piece of paper that
deals with the end of our marriage before it even begins," he said,
grabbing the door handle.  He yanked it open, then paused to speak to
me over his shoulder.

	"And if you're already thinking `when'," he hesitated a moment.
His voice softened when he spoke again.  "If you're already thinking
`when', then maybe we should just forget the whole wedding thing."

	He slammed the door behind him.  I just stood there, too stunned
at the sudden shift in circumstances around me to do anything else.
Eventually, I dropped into a chair and started to cry.  I was still
crying an hour later when AJ came to our door.



	"Come on, Dylan.  You're overreacting here," AJ said as I dropped
my suitcase in his room.  "Just talk to him."

	"No," I said softly.  "Not right now, AJ."

	"Dylan," he began.

	"No, AJ," I interrupted, turning to face him.  "He made his
feelings clear.  And maybe I did, too."

	"What're you talking about?  What happened?" AJ asked.  I sighed
and sat down, telling him the details I'd glossed over before.

	"And, he walked out, telling me we should just forget the whole
wedding thing," I finished quietly.  "And, maybe he's right."

	"Dylan, you're bein' a dumbass here," he said.  "You slipped.  It
happens to everyone."

	"I know, AJ," I said.  "But what if it wasn't a slip?  What if I
AM focused on the end of our life together instead of the beginning?
What if, somewhere inside me, I don't really believe we belong
together?"

	"Dylan, I think that's the stupidest thing you've ever said to
me," he said bluntly.  "Anyone who's seen the two of you together knows
the connection between you.  God, you've gone through hell together,
DJ, and you're still TOGETHER.  Don't let this misunderstanding get in
your way."  I made a snap decision.

	"I'm gonna go for a walk, AJ," I said, quickly standing and
walking to the door.  I grabbed my coat and stepped into the hallway
before AJ could protest.

	I walked down to the elevator bank and hit the call button.  I
stood there, listening to the silence of the hotel around me.  As the
evening was moving into full night, the guests were settling down for
their nights.  The elevator slid open, and I turned to step inside.

	Kevin was there.  He looked at me but didn't say anything.  I
didn't speak either.  He moved out of the elevator and passed me.  I
just averted my eyes and walked into the car after he left it.  When I
turned to glance at him, I saw him still moving down the hall.  He
never looked back as the doors slid shut between us.


To be continued...