Date: Wed, 3 May 2000 22:33:57 -0400 From: DJ <djs-tale@cfl.rr.com> Subject: Forever 92-93 Disclaimer ---------- Look, if you've made it through the story this far, you KNOW the disclaimer! And now...'Forever'... Chapter 92 "Anna Rodriquez speaking," Anna answered the phone the next morning. "Hi, Anna, it's Dylan," I said, trying not to sound as tired and uncertain as I felt. "Dylan, it's good to hear from you. How's Kevin doing?" she asked. "He's actually starting to get better. He woke up on Tuesday night, and he's been gaining strength from there," I filled her in. "Well, I'm really happy to hear that," Anna replied. "So, to what do I owe the privilege of this phone call?" "Unfortunately, this probably won't be considered a privilege," I told her. "Anna, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to resign." There was a long pause. "I'm sorry to hear that, Dylan," she said slowly. "Can I ask why?" "It's something I've been considering for a few weeks, honestly. I've been gone from the office so much lately," I started to explain. "Yes, but you've always gotten your work done from the road," Anna jumped in. "Yeah, I've tried for the most part, but the fact remains that you hired me to do a job there, not to run around the country and work from the road. With Kevin recuperating for who-knows-how-long, I can't guarantee that I'll be back soon. Plus," I started, then hesitated a minute before moving on. "Kev and I are moving in together, into his house in Orlando. So, I won't want to be working in Tampa when that happens," I said. "There's also the fact that I want to be able to travel with him when he and the guys go on tour at the end of the year." I let my voice soften, taking on a more personal tone. "Look, Anna, it all boils down to me being unwilling to spend 80% to 90% of my relationship with Kevin separated from him. I want to be with him. It's not fair to ask you to keep giving me this leeway when office policy doesn't normally allow it. It's unfair to you and unfair to the others in the office." "Dylan," Anna replied, "I understand your reasons. And I respect your desire to be with Kevin more." She paused. "But, have you considered the consequences of what you're doing?" she wondered. "I know, Anna. And I have considered the consequences. I know that I'll only have worked for you a little over seven months, which will probably reflect badly on me. There's also the matter of my relocation reimbursement. Since I didn't stay for the minimum year term, I'll have to reimburse the company for the costs," I said. I stopped again, taking a breath. "But, Kev's more important to me, especially now that he's hurt. Maybe when we've been together a few years, it'll be easier to spend months at a time away from each other. But, for now, it's just too difficult." "And are you sure you want to give up your career for the sake of HIS career?" Anna asked. "Anna," I said, trying to put my thoughts into words. "Kevin's career isn't a career. It's who he is. It's what he loves. Making music, performing, entertaining people. It's his dream." "My career is just a job. It's a job that I really enjoy, working with good people, solving problems, playing with tech. But it's not the core of what I am. It's not what makes my life complete. As sappy as it sounds," I paused, lowering my voice, "Kevin IS." "I understand, Dylan," she sighed. "I hate to lose you, but it's your life. You need to live it as you see fit." "Thanks, Anna," I said. "I appreciate your understanding." "When will your resignation be effective?" she asked. "Well, I wanted to leave that mostly to you," I offered. "Since I'm leaving pretty suddenly, I wanted to give you the time to replace me. So, if you agree, I'll continue to work from the road until you manage to get a replacement. I can't guarantee that I'll be as productive with all the chaos going on here, but I will give you the best I can." "That would work for me. I'll put things in motion here. Will you be able to go back to the once-a-day status check?" she wondered. "Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem. I'll call at least once a day, probably in the morning when I'm getting started," I said. "Okay," she replied. "You're sure that you need to do this?" she asked one last time. "Yeah, Anna. I'm positive. It's not fair to ask more of you, and at this point, I'm not willing to give up what I have here, either. So, this is the best solution." "Just had to check once more," she said. "Good luck to you, Dylan. Tell Kevin that my kids and I are pulling for him." I smiled. "I will. Thanks again, Anna. For everything," I said. I hung up the phone then, staring down at it on the table. I'd just quit my job. And I didn't have one to replace it. It was something of an overwhelming feeling, knowing I'd just cut off my means of financial independence. "Everything go ok, Dylan?" Kev asked. I turned back to face him. I'd used the phone in his room to make the call. He'd been sleeping when I started, but I guess I'd woken him up when I was talking. "Yeah, Kev, I guess," I replied softly. "What's wrong, sweetie?" he asked. I didn't answer for a minute. Instead, I turned and walked over to his window, staring out at the warm LA day. It occurred to me that I hadn't left the hospital since arriving with the ambulance on Saturday morning. "Dylan," Kev's soft voice broke in on my silent thoughts. "Please talk to me." I sighed, leaning my forehead against the warm glass of the window. "I guess...I guess I'm just scared, Kev," I whispered. "I've been on my own, with no support from anyone but myself, since I was 17. And now, I just eliminated my only means of supporting myself, and I don't have any backup for it." "You have me," he replied, a touch of hurt in his voice. I quickly turned to look at him. "I know, Kev. I'm just not used to having to depend on someone so much." I took a breath. "I know I can depend on you when this job is over. It's just gonna take a bit to get used to the idea." There was silence in the room for a moment. I turned to stare back out the window, zoning out a bit. "Come here, D," Kev said, bringing my thoughts back to his room. I turned over to look at him again. He'd somehow scooted himself to the side of his bed and was patting the space next to him. I cringed a little inside, worried that he might hurt himself doing that. In fact, he did look a little pale, and I noticed a few beads of sweat on his forehead. "Kev," I turned and walked over to his bed. "You shouldn't be moving around like that. You're gonna tear your stitches." "I don't care, D. Just come here," he said, patting the open space again. I reluctantly climbed up next to him. I didn't lay with him, which I think he wanted me to do based on the disappointed look he gave me. I just sat and took his hand in one of mine, resting my other lightly on his chest. I wasn't willing to risk hurting him. He stared up into my eyes. "Are you absolutely sure that this is what you want?" he asked me. "Kev, I'm positive, okay?" I squeezed his hand a little to emphasize my point. "I will admit to a little discomfort at the idea you'll probably be paying my bills, at least for a short while. But, that's a pretty trivial price to pay to stay with you. It'll just take me a bit to let go of my independence." I smiled at him. "Okay. As long as you're ok with it," he said, letting a deep breath out. I could tell he was tired. I brushed a hand across his forehead. "Go to sleep, Kev. I'll still be here when you wake up," I whispered to him. "Promise?" he asked, mimicking the promise I extracted from him the night he woke up. "Promise, love," I said. He nodded slightly and closed his eyes. He was asleep within moments, and I just sat and watched over him. Chapter 93 "Dammit, Nick, would ya knock it off?" AJ's voice broke my concentration. I was in Kev's room, staring at my laptop screen. Up `til now, I'd managed to tune out the noise from the room's other occupants. Unfortunately, their antics had gotten more out of hand. It was Wednesday again. The attack had happened twelve days before. Nick had come up with the brilliant idea that Kevin needed Nintendo in his room. The fact that the system wouldn't reach to Kev's bed kind of made a lie out of his generous gesture. But, he'd packed his up from his hotel and brought it over anyway. I wasn't really sure of the wisdom of the idea. We'd had a bit of a scare over the weekend. Kevin had developed a fever on Friday night. He'd basically been in a fever sleep for most of the weekend. I'd had to sit there and watch him tossing and turning, sweating, then shivering with cold. The doctors had been concerned at his sudden deterioration. That, of course, made me feel pretty scared. But, I'd stayed by his side through it all. Just as I'd promised him I would. Late Sunday night, his breathing had finally stabilized, and he slept the sleep of the tired and not that of the feverish. I managed to sleep, too, although mine wasn't as comfortable as his had seemed. He didn't wake up until late Monday afternoon. He was noticeably weaker again. He couldn't stay awake for more than an hour at a time, and when he was awake, he wasn't very focused. Even today, he was still pretty out of things. He wasn't in his room at the moment, or I probably would've made AJ and Nick quit playing. Frankly, Nick was still a poor winner, and AJ was a very vocal loser. They weren't what I would call relaxing visitors when it came to their competition. Kev had been taken to another part of the hospital for some tests. I wasn't sure of the details, but I got the impression that the doctor wanted to make sure that there were no signs of internal damage that might indicate what caused his fever. Nick and AJ were currently wrestling around on the floor. Nick had beaten AJ severely. Again. This had AJ convinced that Nick was cheating. So, like the mature young men they were, they'd lapsed into a shouting match, and now a wrestling match. "Man, I wish I had my camera," I said, letting the sarcasm out to play. "I'm sure I could get a fortune from a gay magazine for pictures of you two gettin' it on together." That broke `em up pretty quick. "Whatever, DJ. We've got our clothes on," Nick said, straightening his shirt. "Doesn't matter, Nick. I'm sure I could still get money for `em," I said, a nasty smirk on my face. "Now, are you two kids gonna play nice or does daddy have to take away your little toy?" I'll admit, I was a little short with them. I was still wrung out from the vigils this last weekend. Plus, someone had removed my gurney, so I'd been relegated back to sleeping in my chair in Kev's room. I think AJ picked up on that. "Sorry, DJ," he said. "We just got a little carried away." I didn't say anything. I just nodded and turned back to my laptop. The guys settled back into playing again, this time managing to keep a little more calm than before. I went on with the work I was doing. Anna'd already managed to hire someone. Friday was due to be my last official day, so I was trying to tie up loose ends. I was also trying to put together a complete document summarizing what I'd been working on and the things that I thought needed to be addressed in the near future. Although I wouldn't admit it, I was fast approaching burnout. No one had confronted me about it, yet. But, my fuse was getting short, and someone was bound to notice it before much longer. "That's it!" Lindsay snapped at me the next morning. "Get your shit, you are LEAVING this hospital." "Linds," I started to argue with her. "Don't even bother, Dylan," she said, holding up a hand. "I've let you get away with this for too long, but the fact is you are NOT staying here anymore." "I can't," I started again, but she didn't let me keep going. "Give it up," she cut me off. "You are going to take your suitcase, and we are going back to the hotel. You are going to soak in a tub, then you are going to sleep until I tell you that you can get up. Then, if you ask NICELY, I will let you come back here to visit Kevin." "But," she shook a finger in my face, "you are going to RELAX. Even if I have to drown you in the tub to do it!" The room was silent. Obviously, Nick and Kevin hadn't had enough exposure to Lindsay's more dominating streak. I'm sure it would serve her well if she ever decided to take up S&M. "Dylan," Kev's soft voice broke the silence. I turned to face my love. "Go. Lindsay's right, you need a rest. You need to get outta here," he said. "But, Kev," I said. "No, Dylan," he interrupted me. "I'll be fine for a while without you. You need to take a break and recharge. You've been scrambling all week to get finished with your work, plus keeping me company when I was actually awake. And probably worrying about me the whole time I was sleeping." I just kind of blushed and looked away. He'd pretty much hit the nail on the head. As usual, he knew me far too well. I sighed and gave in. Well, sort of gave in. "Ok," I agreed. "I'll leave. But, I'm leaving my suitcase here. And I WILL be coming back here tonight." I stared straight into Lindsay's eyes, letting her know that I wouldn't bend on that condition. She reluctantly nodded. I grabbed a change of clothes from my suitcase. I also packed up my laptop to take with. I needed to e-mail the last of my stuff to Anna before I quit for the day. Once I was packed, I turned and walked over to Kev. I leaned down to talk to him. "You sure you're ok with me leaving?" I whispered. "I'll be fine, D," he whispered back. I searched his eyes for any sign of doubt, but couldn't find any. I sighed, giving in to the inevitable. "Ok. I'll be back this evening," I replied softly. "Promise?" he asked with a little smile curling his upper lip. "Promise." I said firmly, smiling back. I leaned down and placed a light kiss on his forehead. I took a second to stare into his deep green eyes before I turned and left the room, Lindsay and Nick following closely behind. I awoke to darkness. It took a second to remember that I was back at the hotel, sleeping on our king-size bed. I reached over to Kev's side, a small stab going through my heart at feeling that empty space. I sighed. Although I would never admit it to her, Lindsay had done the right thing in making me come back to get some sleep. I wasn't 100%, but I was doing a lot better than I had been earlier. Physically, at least. I'd taken a long, hot bath. Our hotel room actually had a bathtub large enough to fit my tall frame. So, I'd felt obligated to take advantage of it. After I was done, I'd barely had the energy to get myself out to the bed before I'd collapsed. I shook myself the rest of the way out of sleep. I took a look around the room, trying to figure out why it was so dark. I found the clock on the desk and discovered it was nearly 10:30. I'd slept the entire day and most of the night away. But, I wanted to see Kevin again, so I decided to take the trip to the hospital. At the very least, I wanted to see he was alright before I tried to get any more sleep. I wasn't comfortable being away from him so long. I took a quick shower, washing away the sleep. I slid on a pair of cargo shorts and a t-shirt, then grabbed my Birks. I remembered to grab my key-card for the room, as well as my car keys, before I quietly opened the door. I didn't put it past Lindsay to be hovering outside my door, but there was no one around. I made my way down to the lobby and from there to the hotel's parking garage. My car was still parked there, or at least I hoped that it was. I breathed a slight sigh of relief when I noticed it in the same spot it'd been when I last saw it. I pulled out of the garage and started the drive to the hospital. The windows were down, the sunroof was open, and Kevin and the guys were singing to me through my stereo as I drove down the still-busy LA streets. It took me a while to find parking once I'd reached the hospital. I guess I wasn't the only one doing some late night visiting. It was already nearing midnight, but the lots were still fairly full. The nurses seemed only slightly surprised to see me. They were used to my late-night prowling of the halls. I walked over to Kevin's room and eased the door quietly open. Kev was asleep when I got inside. I slipped over to his bed and ran a hand lightly over the side of his face. I leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He sighed in his sleep, but he didn't wake up. Movement from near the window caught my eye. I hadn't noticed that he had a visitor when I'd walked in. Ann stepped into the light a second later, walking over to talk to me. "What are you doing here, Dylan?" she whispered. "I just wanted to check on him, Ann," I replied, my voice also soft. "Well, he's doin' fine, Dylan. You should be back at the hotel resting," she scolded me. "I know you all want me there, Ann, but," I paused, trying to decide what to say. "It's too hard to be away that long. I spend too much time worrying about how he is, about missing something important." "I just...I need to be here, Ann. I appreciate all your concern, I really do. But, I need to be here...for him and for me," I said, my voice cracking with emotion. Ann stared at me for a bit before finally deciding I was right. I was relieved I wouldn't have to fight with her about it. I gave her a small smile of thanks. "Hi, D," Kev's scratchy voice came to us. I turned and walked over to his bed, taking his hand gently in mine. "Kev," I scolded, "you should be asleep. You need your rest, love." "Wanted to tell you I love you," he said through a small yawn. "Well, now you have, so go back to sleep," I whispered, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. "And I love you, too." He slid over on his bed slightly. "Lay with me?" he asked, giving me a pouty look with those stunning green eyes. "Kev, you know I can't," I said. "We can't risk you getting hurt." I thought his lower lip might touch the floor if he stuck it out any further. He reached over and grabbed the second pillow from beside him and laid it across his abdomen. He lightly slapped it, obviously trying to prove that the extra padding would be enough. "Please, D?" he pleaded softly. "It'll be ok." I turned to Ann and sighed. "Ann, there's pretty much no way for me to resist your loving son here," I told her. "So, would you please explain things to him?" "Sure," she nodded at me before turning to look at her son. "Kevin, sweetheart," she began, "you KNOW Dylan can't sleep with you." His face fell a little, but Ann wasn't finished. "At least not until you move over some more. You're taking up too much of the bed." Kevin smiled at her. I just stared at her, surprised that she'd taken that direction. I'd thought I'd have an ally in her. Apparently, I was wrong. She just chuckled at the expression on my face. "Dylan, stop being so touchy. We both know you're gonna be careful of him, the pillow will help a bit, and I'll keep an eye out, too," she said. She moved in a little closer to whisper in my ear out of Kevin's hearing. "It will help him sleep. He needs you as much as you need him, remember?" She pulled away again, giving me a calculated stare. We both knew she was right, but I was reluctant to do anything that might hurt him. On the other hand, my body ached to be next to his. Being separated, sleeping apart, was one of the hardest things to deal with through this. I turned back to Kevin. "So, what'm I supposed to use as a pillow?" I said, smiling as I eased onto the bed next to my love. To be continued... ------------------ To all those who've e-mailed me the last few days, I must apologize for not responding. Having the new "baby" in the house has taken up pretty much all of my time. As it is, I'm barely having time to pen these notes and send in posts.