Date: Thu, 2 Sep 1999 11:20:53 EDT
From: GrapeNeil@aol.com
Subject: Getting Reacquainted (Part III)

DISCLAIMER: This story is not for those under the age of 18 years (21 in
some areas).  It includes discriptions of male/male sexual acts.  This
story includes celebrity persona; however, it is not meant to imply or
suggest the sexual orientation of those celebrities.


-------------------
Getting Reaquainted
-------------------
by Neil


Part III
--------

     I was the first person to wake up in the morning.  I went to the
dining area.  Amy came out with some hot breakfast foods.  I thank her and
start to eat.  Kevin soon joins me.
     "Good morning" I say as cheerfully as I can.  I wasn't going to get
angry.
     "Good morning."  The reply was as flat and unemotional as one could
get.  He sits down across the long table from me.  I get up and move down
right next to him.
     "Kevin, before everyone else gets up, I just wanna say I'm sorry for
last night.  I know you're just looking out for Brian and the group.  But
you gotta understand that we want this thing to work out, and I don't think
either of us will let anything or _anybody_ come between us."  He just
lowers his head and takes a sip of his coffee.  "Can you please forgive
me?"  I look at him, but he can't look at me.
     "Whoa, am I interrupting something?"  Nick asks as he enters the room.
     "No, squirt.  Just eat."  Kevin obviously knows how to deal with him,
and is probably grateful for the intrusion.  Nick doesn't have much of a
problem with the 'eat' part: it seems he already has half a plate of food
and is reaching for more.
     The other Backstreet Boys join us a little while later.  After
breakfast, they had to get ready to look at that location for their next
video.  They ask me if I want to tag along, and I accept this time.
     I didn't know there was such a place near New York City.  It's a small
wooded area.  I haven't seen something like this since I moved from
Kentucky.
     "It's beautiful here" I say.
     "It sure is" Howie adds.
     The director is going over the kinds of shots he will get.  "AJ, since
you're the main guy in this video, you're going to be standing here up on
this rock.  The other guys will be over there in the back.  That's just for
one verse and chorus.  Then we'll move to a scene in the city."  And I
stopped listening because Brian had grabbed my arm and was dragging me
away.  We slipped away from everyone else without being noticed.  He leads
me down a small dirt path and down some steep rocks.
     "Brian, if I knew we were going rock climbing, I would have worn
different shoes."
     "Ssssshhhhh"
     We ended up in a small alcove.  As soon as I stepped down into it, he
put his arms around me and kisses me.  I was surprised at first, but I got
into it soon enough.  I kiss across his cheek to his ear.  I lick and suck
his earlobe, and he makes hissing sounds through his teeth.  I can hear
people shouting "Brian!" and "Chris!" in the background.
     "Oh, Chris, that feels so good."  I continue to do it.  He moves his
hand from my back onto the bulge in my pants and starts rubbing.  I move
back to kiss him on the mouth.  I hear a sound from behind Brian, so I open
my eyes to look.  It's Nick.  He is just smiling.  I shoo him away with
waves of my arm.  When he is gone, Brian stops kissing me and asks, "Which
one was it?"
     "Nick."
     "Oh."  Then we start kissing again.
     "Brian.....don't.....you think.....you should be....at.....that
meeting??"  I managed to say between kisses.  He stops kissing me.  "I
mean, you do have work to do.  If I'm just going to be a big distraction, I
can go home."
     "No, please don't do that.  You're right.  Let's go."  We join the
others.
     "See, told you they were fine" Nick says when they see us.
     "That must've been the longest piss ever" AJ said.  Brian and I both
understood what Nick had told them.
     "Well, anyway guys, what do you think?"  The director asks.  They like
the idea, so they agree to do it.
     It was almost lunchtime already.  Kevin, Howie, and I reluctantly
agree to go to McDonald's.  "I can't remember the last time I ate at one of
these places."
     "Man, I would die without McD's" Nick replies.
     Sitting over our lunch, Howie asks, "What else do we have today?"
     Kevin answers, "We have two, no wait _three_, hours of rehearsal
starting at six."
     "Why do we have to rehearse?  We don't even have a show here!" Nick
pouts.
     "After that last show, _you_ are asking why we need to rehearse?"
Brian asks Nick.
     "Hey, ONE little mistake.  Just one.  It wasn't that big a deal.  I
hid it pretty well."
     I look at AJ with a puzzled face.  "He didn't do a move right and
fell.  Then just laid there and sang, like it was what he was supposed to
be doing.  I couldn't even watch him or I knew I'd start laughing."
     "So we have about four and a half hours of nothing to do" Kevin says.
"Split up day?"
     "Sounds good to me." AJ says.
     Nick says that he's going to a small regatta he saw signs for.  Howie
is going to go sight-seeing alone.  Kevin asks me, "Would you mind if I
just hung around your place today?  I don't feel like doing anything
special."
     "Sure go ahead.  I was going to just walk around the city today."
     "That sounds fun.  I think I'll go with you."  When Brian said that,
Kevin made a little grunting sound and Nick tried to hold back a smile.
     "What're you smiling at, Nick?" Howie asks.
     "Oh...I just thought about how stupid I must've really looked when I
fell."

     So we split up.  We agreed to meet back at my house half an hour
before their practice.  Brian and I start our walk down the street.  We
walk ten blocks before anything was said.
     "I'll have a talk with Kevin when we get back.  I know it's bugging
you."
     "Is it that obvious?"
     Brian chuckles.  "Yes.  I think he wanted to stay at your house so we
couldn't go there."
     "I was thinking the exact same thing.  I thought he of all people
would be fine with it, but I guess I'm wrong."
     "I'll make him be fine with it.  Let's just not talk about it now,
okay?"
     "Okay."
     We walked for hours up and down the streets of New York.  On two
occasions he was recognized.  Once in front of a clothing store, a mob of
girls suddenly appeared out of nowhere.  He decided he didn't want to deal
with it, so he grabbed my arm and we ran.  The other time it was only a few
fans that wanted autographs, which he gladly supplied.  We stopped in a few
stores, but we didn't buy anything.  We got some ice cream and sat on a
bench to eat it.  We talked about old friends and family back in Kentucky.
He reminded of so many good times that I had totally forgotten about; I'm
sure I did the same to him.  About an hour before we had to meet, we
decided to go back to my house.  I was dreading what would happen between
the cousins as our cab pulled up in front of my house.  Brian and I
entered, and he left me to go look for Kevin.

-----Kevin's Room-----
     Brian bursts through the door.  "What the hell is your problem?" he
shouts at Kevin.  "Why can't you just leave the two of us alone?  This
isn't any of your concern!"
     Kevin gets up off of the bed.  "Yes it is, Brian, yes it is.  Do you
remember what happened when people got pictures of you and another guy
about a year ago?"
     "We weren't doing anything in those pictures!"
     "_I_ know that.  You better be glad we could pay off those
photographers before they sold the pictures.  The whole thing started a
controversy in the group and almost broke us up!  You were a mess for
months!  I don't want to see you like that again.  I _won't_ see you like
that again."
     "I won't end up like that again.  This time it's different.  I'm
asking you, _begging_ you, please try to be happy for me.  Please."  He
started to cry.  He fell to his knees and put his face in his hands.  Kevin
just stood there for minutes, barely able to watch his cousin like this.
He finally walks over and crouches down beside him.
     "Alright.  I didn't realize it meant so much to you.  I will try to be
happy for you."  He put his arms around Brian.

-----Back To Me, not five minutes later-----
     I wonder how it's going?  Did Brian talk some sense into Kevin?  Again
I'm out on my balcony, leaning over the edge.
     "You better be careful, you might fall."  Kevin's voice.
     "Nah, I won't.  I do this all the time.  I'm a risk taker.  I enjoy
the excitment."  A long pause.  You couldn't cut the tension with a
diamond-edged chainsaw.  He came over and sat on the banister beside me
facing the house, his back to the 40-foot fall below.
     "Brian and I just had a nice talk."
     "Really?"
     "As if you didn't know."  I step back onto the balcony and look at
him.  "You know I don't have anything against Brian being gay or anything
against you, don't you?"
     "Yes, Kevin, I know.  You really don't have to explain.  I understand.
I really, truly do."  I move in front of him.  I put my hand on his chest,
almost seductively.
     "Wha..?" he starts.  I suddenly grab his shirt and push him back so he
almost falls off of the balcony.  His [very nice] butt is still on the wide
banister and his legs are kicking on either side of me, but the only thing
stopping him from falling is the fabric of his shirt in my hand.
     "You better be careful, you might fall."  I repeat.  He has a
terrified look on his face, his eyes so wide that his eyeballs might fall
out.  I just smile and pull him back up.
     "You crazy fuck!  What the hell was that?!"
     "I was just showing you what a trusting person I can be, and that I
don't hold grudges."  Smiling, I walk to the sliding glass door and enter
back into my room, leaving him still in shock out on the balcony.

     I walk down the stairs to see Brian, Howie, and Nick in the family
room.  "How was your day?" I ask Nick and Howie.
     Nick quickly says, "Just fine.  How was yours and Brian's walk?"  He
stressed 'walk' enough so that Brian and I knew what he meant, but Howie
wouldn't become suspicious.
     Brian answers for me.  "It was just a walk.  Had to run a little bit,
though."  He smiles at me, and Nick and Howie nod, understanding what he
meant.
     "And I thought I was going to be early this time."  AJ.  He had just
walked into the room with a couple bags.  He walks up the stairs.

-----Upstairs-----
     AJ runs into Kevin, who is coming out of the bathroom.  "What's wrong,
Kev?  You look like you just got it scared outta you."
     "Nothing's wrong.  I just....don't feel too good right now."
     "Well, you better feel better before practice."

-----Back Downstairs-----
     Howie yawns and stretches.  "Guys, I'm going to catch a short nap
before practice.  Good night."
     The yawn is contagious, as Nick yawns also.  "Good idea."  They go
upstairs to their rooms.  Brian and I talk about our walk and the weather.
We tell each other how our lives are going, just catching up (even more).
We were avoiding anything serious for almost 20 minutes.  Then I couldn't
stand it.
     "So, I guess you had that talk with Kevin."  I knew he wasn't going to
bring it up.
     "Yeah, we talked.  Did you two make up yet?"
     I smile and say, "I'm really not sure, but I know we will."
     "Hey, do you want to escort me to my room?"  Could he put it any more
bluntly?
     "You know where your room is."  I really didn't want to.
     "Oh, please?  C'mon."  I take his hand, help him off the couch, and we
walk up the stairs still holding hands.  I open his door and motion him in.
I didn't intend on going in, but he still has a hold of my hand and drags
me in.  He closes the door behind him and locks it.  I had moved to stand
at the foot of his bed.  He strides over and takes both of my hands.  He
lifts my arms almost straight up, then lightly moves his fingertips down
the length of my arms to my chest.  He unbuttons my shirt while looking
directly into my eyes.  He then gives me a short peck on the lips.  Why am
I doing this?  I didn't want to.  But it has been almost 10 years since I
had sex (and I guess it's really getting to me).  I move my arms down, and
he slides the shirt down until it gets to my wrists.  When it's there, he
grabs both of my wrists, pulls them behind my back, and wraps the shirt
around them like a makeshift rope.
     "Well, this is new" I say.  He smiles at me and kisses me hard this
time.  It is a very lustful kiss.  Our tongues explore each others' mouths
as his hands explore my bare torso.  He then takes me by the waist and lays
me down on the bed.  He kisses down my neck very slowly.  Then down the
center of my chest.  While it does feel so good, some hidden part of my
brain (that I wish wasn't there) kicks in.  "Brian, I don't think this is a
good idea.  We just got back together.  And you'll be tired for practice."
     He continues to kiss my stomach as he says, "Nah, sex always gets me
ready for some good dancing."  That's it.  I roll from underneath him and
semi-successfully unwrap my shirt from my wrists.  He has a puzzled look on
his face.
     "What do you mean 'sex always gets me ready for some good dancing'?
You do this all the time or something?  Is that why you asked me up here:
for some pre-dance sex?  So you just have a short fuck-fest before every
practice and every show?  Do you just find guys on the road or do you hire
them?  And what did Nick mean by what he said while we were eating?  Why
did you shut him up?"  I finally manage to get my shirt back on.  I stood
against the wall next to the door.
     "That's not what I meant...."
     "Then explain exactly what it is you did mean."
     He is at a loss for words.
     "I thought so.  Brian, this isn't going to work.  Between Kevin and
your horniness, I just can't take it.  Tomorrow morning you'll all be going
back to the hotel.  And I'll make a point never to want to see you again."
I couldn't look him in the eyes.
     Then he did something totally unexpected.  He stood up and got right
in my face.  In a louder-than-comfortable voice, he says, "I didn't mean
what I said.  I don't know what kind of issues you have, but I do know that
I do love you.  As for where that [pointing at the bed] was going, I just
wanted to return the favor.  So why don't you just shut up?"  Then he
pushes himself up against me and kisses me hard.  I try to push him off of
me.  I am unsuccessful, and he just keeps kissing me.  Then I give up and
kiss back.  When he finally realizes that he won, he backs off.
     "Did you really mean that, that you love me?"  I ask, and I can feel
my eyes begin to water.
     "Yes."  He gets teary too.  I take a step towards him and hug him.
     "Brian, I don't know why I just blew up on you, again.  I'm sorry.  I
didn't know I had all these feelings inside me."
     ***BOOM**BOOM**BOOM*** "Hey Rok, are you in there?  It's time to get
ready for practice!"  Nick's voice.
     "Okay, I'm coming."  Then to me: "I know you didn't mean it.  Can you
be here when I get back?"
     "Tell me why you want me here."  This better be good.
     "To spend time with you.  To do whatever you want to."  He opens the
door and leaves.  And I fall back onto his bed.
     I start thinking.  He just played me like a fiddle.  And I was going
along with it.  The times we were alone always started out well, but when
we got really intimate, I would just blow up.  Oh my: I'm a tease.  I've
been sending the poor boy mixed signals.  But what _is_ wrong with me?
Where are all these temper-tantrums coming from?  I _was_ severly hurt when
he ended our relationship years ago.  And since then I haven't been able to
come close to another person.  Maybe that's it.  Maybe it just messed me
up.  I don't know, but I don't like that I'm like this.
     What the heck am I going to do for three hours?  I decide to go
online, to the closest people to actual "friends" that I have.  After I
chat for about an hour, I decide to clean up.  I go to my bathroom and take
a long shower.  I was just hoping that the water would wash all my problems
away, but I knew it couldn't.  I finish getting ready and dressed.  Still
another hour and a half.  I head back out onto my balcony.  I lay on the
wide marble banister and let my mind wander.

***************
     "Brian, I think I love you."  The shocked look comes across his
still-boyish face.  He takes one step back, still looking into my eyes.  He
turns and runs.  I'm not sure what to do.  For the first time in my life, I
actually feel pain inside of me.  I turn and walk back up the dirt path
that will eventually lead me to my house.  That didn't happen.  It didn't.
He didn't just run.  He couldn't have.  No, I didn't even tell him I loved
him.  I wouldn't do that.

***************
     "Denial."  The only word to come out of my mouth.  The marble is
getting cold.  The first stars are appearing.  I'm going back to his room.
I straighten out the sheets from our earlier 'encounter.'  I take a chair
from the corner and sit it facing the bay window, away from the door.  Then
I sit and wait for him.

***************
     "Well, have a safe trip."  That's all he had to say to me when I told
him we were moving.  "Well, have a safe trip."  Then he and his new friends
leave.

***************
     I can see the gate open, and the bus drives up.  I take a deep breath.
Minutes later, I hear the doorknob turn and the door open and close.  He
walks up and kneels down beside the chair to my right side.  He puts his
hand on my knee.  "What's wrong?"  The question is so sincere.
     I just stare at the moon throught the weeping willow tree outside the
window.  "Tell me you won't leave this time."  And I burst into tears.
This is the hardest I have ever cried.  I practically fall out of the chair
into the floor.  I curl up on the carpeting in the fetal position, my hands
hiding my reddened face and my body shaking.  My cries are so loud, Howie
comes into the door.
     "What's the matter?  Is something wrong with him?" he asks Brian.
     "Don't worry about it.  Just go!"  Brian shouts back.  Howie closes
the door.  Brian crawls over to me and does his best to settle me down.
"I'm not going to leave this time.  I'm not."  He has one hand on the top
of my head; the other is under me, pulling me up against him.  I must've
cried for almost 20 minutes.  My stomach cramped and I think I ran out of
tears.  By the time I had settled down, his pants leg was soaked.  When I
saw the sight, I had to laugh a little.  "I'm sorry, Brian...[sniff] I just
can't stop thinking about it."
     He pushes me off of him, then goes to the bathroom to get a cold, wet
towel and a glass of water.  "Here."  I take them graciously.  After I
quickly finish off the water, he takes the glass back and sets it on the
nightstand.  "Can you stand up?"
     "Yeah."  I stand.  He takes my hand and leads me to the bed.  I give
him a questioning look.
     "Just lay down."  I lay on my back.  He walks to the other side of the
bed and gets on.  He puts his elbow on his pillow and his head on his fist.
He uses his other hand to wipe and stroke my face.  I turn on my side,
facing him, and say "Can we just lay like this?"
     "Sure, whatever you want."  He lays his head down now.
     After a couple minutes, I joke, "This has been the longest, and most
fucked-up, day of my life."  He smiles.
     "I know exactly what you mean."


To Be Continued....