Date: Thu, 1 Jun 2000 21:41:21 -0500
From: Christopherunknown <Christopherunknown@hotmail.com>
Subject: Hearts Combining (Chapter 4)

This story is all fiction and is not implying anything on the Backstreet
Boys, 'N sync, or anyone else mentioned in this text. If you don't approve
of gay relationships and/or are under 18 years old, please stop and leave
now. If you are over 18 (or younger with the exception of not getting
caught) and approve of homosexual types of sex and relationships then
please keep on reading.

Okay I know that not many people actually read this stuff but I'm going to
tell my thank you's anyway. First of all I want to thank everyone who has
written comments on the last chapter. I especially want to thank Kenitra,
the author of Millennium Love, because of every time I have a problem with
this story or just life in itself, tell her. I know that she is probably
tired of hearing me complaining. I would recommend that you read Millennium
Love, just because it gives you a different view of how a relationship is
working with each character.  I also would like to recommend reading
Justin's Journal, We admitted it, Kevin Behind the scenes, and More than
anything. These are just a few of my favorite that I have read. Okay I'm
going to shut up now. I hope you enjoy reading this, and Thank you. Now on
with.......

Hearts Combining (Chapter 4)

"All you need is Love."
		John Lennon

The front door came flying open, and Kevin and Justin came storming
through. They sat the stuff down and then walked to two different areas of
the house. Justin went to my room and Kevin went into the living
room. Then, not two seconds later, we heard...

"I HATE YOU, Kevin!"

"I HATE YOU, Justin!" They both screamed at each other like two
five-year-old children!

Everyone froze in the spot they were standing. I looked over towards
Britney and Brian for help. They both shrugged and looked back with the
same questioning look. I figured that now was the time to bring this all
out...

"Brian, can you go to Kevin? Britney, can you go to Justin? We need to
figure out what's going on right now!" I said.

"Yeah we're already there!" Brian said as he started toward the living
room.

"Nick, Howie, and AJ can you guys handle making sure that nothing happens
to this house until I can figure out what's going on?" I asked the guys
standing in front of me.

"Yeah Chris, you just go and stop this before something bad happens!" Howie
answered for the three of them.

"Thanks!" I said as I moved toward my room first, knowing that I would be
able to figure Justin out a little more easily than Kevin.

I walked into my room to see Justin with his hand over his face crying
softly. Brit had seen me coming and motioned for me to take over.

"Justin what happened?" I said softly.

"I don't know! One minute we're talking and everything is cool, then the
next it seemed as if the whole world had stopped moving! I'm just so
confused!" Justin said softly, almost in a whisper tone.

"What do you mean everything had stopped moving?" I asked knowing that
there was more to this than what was actually being said.

"Well we were walking around Wal-mart trying to find everything on the
list, when all of a sudden we heard a scream! Okay natural reaction for us
was to run. And that we did, because when we looked back, we could see
about hundred screaming girls running after us. I quickly unlocked the car
doors and got in just in time to spin off and get away. This was not the
problem though!" Justin said trying to remember everything that had
happened in the last two hours. "We were driving around trying to find
someplace else when we decided to get something to drink. I stopped at a
gas station and he got out and bought our drinks. We stopped at a park just
outside of the university. We got out and enjoyed the quiet for a few
minutes. We were sitting on the park bench when I just looked over at
him. He was staring at me with this weird look. You know that look that
says you want to say something but you don't know how? Well I wanted to ask
him the same thing. Without even thinking I leaned forward and kissed him!"

"You what??" Brit and I said at the same time.

"I...I...I kissed him! I thought it was just going to be a one sided deal,
but then he started to kiss back. Then he quickly pulled away and ran back
to the car. I had the top down so he just jumped in. I sat there stunned
for a minute, just thinking about what had just happened. I finally walked
back over to the car and got in. Kevin just sat there as if nothing had
just happened! I sat there staring at him for a few minutes until he
finally told me to stop looking at him. I got pissed off because of his
reaction. We quickly ran into Target and got everything that we needed and
left. On the way back, I asked him if it meant anything to him. All he said
was that it was just a mistake and nothing more. I went off on him for
saying that. We got into a giant argument on the way back. It was probably
a good thing that we got back here quickly because if I had to spend
anymore time with him in that car I would probably have hit a tree on
purpose!" Justin said.

"Justin...Justin...god I just can not say a word! You both acted like two
five-year-old children." I said with a hint of anger in my voice. "I'm
going to talk with Kevin, you stay here and don't move! You don't let him
move or I'll have your butt later!" I told Brit.

The whole time I was walking toward the living room I thought over the
problem I was faced with. I was angry that both Justin and Kevin were
childish enough to act like this. However, part of me understood Justin's
point. I would be hurt emotionally too if I kissed someone and they kissed
back, then said it meant nothing. However, I needed to hear Kevin's
side. Nevertheless, most of all I think that Kevin is the most
confused. Kevin had always had Brian in his relationship but now that
theory is being questioned.

"Brian I screwed up. I feel as if I have cheated on you. I just ruined
everything that I had hoped I could have with Chris and you! However, I
also like Justin! God I'm so confused." Kevin said as more tears escaped
his eyes.

"Kevin why would you think that this would affect our relationship? Kevin
do you love Brian?" I asked.

"Yes." Kevin said

"Do you love me?" I asked

"Yes I do!" Kevin said quickly.

"Do you love Justin?" I asked again.

"I...I do...I really feel as if I do!"  Kevin said.

"Is it the same love you feel for Brian and I?" I asked knowing deep inside
me that love I was promised was being formed right in front of me.

"Yes...I do. I know its wrong to love more than one person, but my heart
loves three others. If I was to die tomorrow, God would forbid my
entrance." Kevin said as he hugged onto Brian.

"Kevin can you love like that? Is your heart large enough to share that
love?" Brian asked.

"Yeah it is, but if I also have that, I'm putting my all into it. I love
both of you, but I also have feelings for Justin." Kevin said.

"Kevin, right now, I know that Justin is just as confused. Kevin, who said
that you only need one person in a relationship?, If you believe that you
love everyone equally, then I would love to be in a relationship, but I
think that you and Justin need to talk first. And no yelling at each other
this time!" I yelled at Kevin.

"I will talk to him later tonight! Right now, I need to cool off and
straighten out my thoughts first. Are you sure that this is all right with
the two of you? I mean the three of us in a relationship!" Kevin asked with
a hopeful look in his eye.

I looked over at Brian for reassurance that this was his final
decision. Brian just gazed back with Joy in his eye. Without even thinking,
I leaned down and kissed Kevin on the lips. What was supposed to be a
meaningful kiss, turned into a tongue-lashing, passionate kiss. I felt
electricity as we kissed. I had just pulled away when Brian pulled my lips
to his. This kiss was tender, loving, and very caring, but with the exact
electricity. My mind was racing! 'Could this actually be happening?' I
thought to myself. Brian finally pulled away. I glanced down at my watch,
but I could not read the time, my mind was crowded by lust. After a few
moments, I was back to my normal senses., My watch told me that I had
twenty minutes before people would start arriving.

"Hey could you guys go find the other two couples? We need to make sure
everyone is prepared for all these people!" I said. "I need to talk to
Justin real fast before I get started again."

"Yeah you go ahead. We'll find everyone." Brian said.

"Hey Chris?" Kevin said.

"Yeah...."

"Uhm... are you going to tell Justin everything?" Kevin said.

"No, not unless you want me too!" I stated

"Could you wait to tell him when it would be just the four of us around?"
Kevin asked.

"Yeah I'll wait! But I still need to talk to him." I said.

"Okay." Kevin said as he joined Brian.

I walked back to my room. I could hear Justin and Brit laughing about
something but I had no idea as to what exactly it was. As I got closer to
the door, I could hear them...

"You know that Chris is going to kill me for letting you go to the
bathroom." Brit said.

"Yeah well it's your ass for letting me go! Brit can I ask you some thing?"
Just asked

"Yeah shoot!" Brit said.

"Is it wrong to love more than one person?" Just asked

"It all depends on how you love them! Is it a love for their looks or is it
one from the heart? Is it a feeling that when ever you look at them your
pulse quickens and you become light headed?" Brit asked.

"It's love from the heart because anytime I see them I see only them and no
one else." Just said

"Just whom exactly are you talking about?" Brit asked, but knowing whom he
was talking of.

"Kevin, Chris, and...well...Brian." Justin answered.

"I knew that was who it was! I have seen the way you just stare at them. I
know something, but you are the one who has to find them out. But for now
you are going to need to take everything one step at a time." Brit
said. "Oh, by the way, Chris you can come in now!"

"Girl I don't know how you do it, but I hate you for it!" I said as I
walked into the room.

"Oh god...Chris, you heard everything?" Justin asked worried.

"Yes I did. Either tonight, or tomorrow, which ever has more time, we need
to talk. You also need to talk with Kevin. He feels bad for what he
did. Right now though, I have a party to do. Moreover, I am looking for a
cute lifeguard to help that other not so cute teenager downstairs. Oh did I
forget to mention that there would be several teenage girls here tonight!
You may be able to find a "Girlfriend." I said running out of the room
before Justin could react.

When I made it down stairs, I stopped dead in my tracks when Brian and
Kevin were both hugging on to each other. This is something I am going to
have to get use to. Brian and Kevin noticed me and opened up their arms for
me to join. Hell, what sane person would reject that type of invitation? I
felt so safe with them but there was also a missing feeling to go with
it. I knew what that part was, and he would be coming down those stairs at
any moment. I looked up and noticed that Howie, AJ, Josh, and James were
standing behind us, smiling. However, Howie's statement shocked Brian and
Kevin.

"Its about time you two shared your love with someone else other then with
each other!" Howie said causing Brian and Kevin to jump apart.

"Kevin don't worry, we all knew. We all also think that Chris is prefect
for the two of you." Nick said as he walked into the room.

"What...How...God I'm more confused now!" Kevin said as he slid down and
brought his knees to his chest.

"Kevin, Brian, we have all known for a long time. We have all seen you
sneak into each other's rooms at night. Oh and before I forget Howie you
owe me fifty bucks!" AJ said.

Just as AJ finished his statement, Justin and Brit walked down the stairs.

"Okay, what's going on?" Brit asked looking around at everyone and staring
at Kevin once she had seen him on the floor with a worried look on his
face.

Nick started to say something but I quickly interrupted...

"Okay I have two pool boys, but I still need someone to grill, greet, and
help in the kitchen." I said completely ignoring Brit's question.

"I can grill." Kevin said.

"I'll help in the kitchen." Brit said.

"I will too." Brian said.

"Nope, sorry, but I can not have you working with me. And don't feel bad
about it because AJ, Howie, Josh, and James are all being split up also!" I
said hearing whining coming from the two sets of couples.

"Okay then just tell us where we need to be!" Josh said with an attitude.

"Old man, do you want me to put you in a corner for five minutes, like I do
when Jase is in trouble?" I asked meaning every word.

Josh calls me his crazy friend because when I say something, nine times out
of ten I mean it. He has also learned over the years that I do not put up
with people that have a cocky attitude. However, I think that sometimes he
does it just to see what I would do.

"I need James and Howie to greet people as they come in, then I need, Josh
and AJ to help me in the kitchen. Brian, now that I think about it, I need
you to watch Nick and Justin. I don't think that I trust them enough with
those kids!" I said.

"Hey!" Justin and Nick yelled in unison.

"Well I know you both act about Jase's age, so don't give me any attitude
because you both know that I'm right." I said as they hung their heads in
defeat, then turned around, grabbed Brian and pulled him out the back
door. I realized they were missing something right after they walked out
the door. I was able to count to twenty before they realized it also.

"Chris we need swimming shorts!" Justin yelled from the door.

"You still have clothes upstairs in you room. I think that you also have a
pair that Nick can wear! I have a pair for Brian in my room." I said as
Just and Nick pulled Brian back in and left him with me, then ran upstairs.

"Hey cutie, I haven't seen you for awhile!" Brian said as he kissed my
cheek.

"Okay lets get you changed!" I said.

As we walked up stairs, I heard someone knock on the front door. I knew
James and Howie would take care of it. A few seconds after the knocking
stopped I heard a high-pitched scream and an "Oh my god! Backstreet Boys!"
I had totally forgotten about that little bitty factor. Most of my friends
were use to seeing the guys of Nsync and Brit, so they never really caused
any problems.  The only times there were problems had been when they were
out alone. They have also done many fund raising concerts for my school and
community, all against my wishes. It always seemed that every time I
refused their help, they would do it anyway. And when they did do things
like that, I felt as if I was mooching off them, that is a feeling that I
hate and made their record label very clear of.

I lead Brian into my room and he sat down on the bed while I was trying to
find him a pair of shorts. I was bent over looking into the dresser when I
felt a pair of hands on my back. I slowly leaned up and then back. Every
time Brian touches me I feel as if the world has stopped.

"Brian what are you doing?" I asked as Brian slowly kissed down my neck.

"I'm.... show...ing...you.... how much.... I love...you!" Brian said in
between kisses.

"Mmmm.... Brian.... We don't have time right now." I said regretting the
words escaping my mouth.

"Okay.... I'm moving too fast right now anyway. We're not ready for that
next step." Brian said.

"I know we're not ready, but that time is quickly approaching!" I said as I
went back to looking for a pair of shorts for him.

Once I did find a pair, I handed them to him and he quickly changed and was
ready to go watch the teenagers that were supposed to be the lifeguards. I
walked down stairs and went back to where I started. Howie and James came
walking in about five minutes later...

"How many are here?" I asked.

"About twenty.... But is seems as if there are about a hundred because
every one of them seems to be a fan of Backstreet. Even the two guys that
walked in, seemed to be fans!" Howie complained.

"You'll get use to it! Everyone of them will act differently after they are
around you for a while!" James said.

"Except.... The guys!" James and I said at the same time.

"You need to watch them! You may have something one second and the next
they're walking out with it! You can put all of your stuff up in my room
because I always lock the door when there are a lot of people around." I
informed.

"I'll move everything right now!" Howie said as he ran up stairs for his
and the guys things.

"Chris where is Josh?" James asked.

"I let him and AJ go on out to the pool. You and Howie can go on out if you
want." I said as I returned to the job I was doing.

"Do you need help?" James asked.

"No I can do everything myself. Its your weekend off, you go have fun." I
said.

"And it is yours also! You are leaving Monday. You need to be around your
friends." James argued.

"The friends I have will all be living around Orlando!" I said.

"Chris can I ask you something?" James asked.

"Yeah sure... You know that you can always tell me anything!" I said
directing my attention to him.

"How do you know that you're in love?" James asked.

"I...well...I truly don't know! It all just happened for me! I just know
that I love them." I answered.

"You love the three of them don't you!" James asked.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Chris, don't lie to me! We are close; you do not have to hide this. I know
you love Brian, Kevin, and Justin! I envy you also." James said.

"Envy? Why would you envy me?" I asked.

"I do because you have so much love around you! You have three people who
love you." James tried to argue, but was only losing the battle.

"James you have just as much love coming from Josh, but why do I have a
feeling that there is something else that you questioning?" I said.

"Yeah actually there is. Chris, Josh and I have been seeing each other for
over a year now. We have never had sex and I am fine with that, but I am
ready to go to the next step. Chris I... I bought...I bought a ring!" James
stuttered.

"You bought what?" I asked.

"I bought a ring. I am ready to prove my love to him completely. Tyler
already knows about this, but he told me there are three others who I need
approval from. I need to ask Heather for her permission, then Tyler told me
Justin, and then the last he told me was...well.... you!" James said
looking at the floor.

"And who do you think will be the hardest to ask?" I asked knowing that
Justin will be that one person.

"Justin.... Well at least that is whom I am expecting to get a fight from!
Justin did not like our relationship at first. He thought I was stealing
Josh away from him. You know that I would not do that, and I think that
Justin is finally realizing this. He was there the night that we told Lynn
and Karen. Karen is the one who has been supportive about everything. Chris
could you be there when I ask Justin?" James asked.

"Yeah when are you going to ask him?" I replied.

"Maybe tomorrow night? Is that okay?" James asked.

"If you would had said tonight then I would have still been there for you!"
I stated pulling him into a hug.

I heard Little Bryan, Kristen, and Jase coming into the house. No sooner
had I even had that though, Jase came running into the kitchen.

"Daddy...." Jase yelled as he run into the kitchen.

"Hey Jase. You need to go get your swimming clothes on, so that you can go
outside with Brian, Justin and Nick!" I told him.

"James can you go help Jase for me?" I asked James.

"Yeah.... come on little boy lets go get you ready!" James said as he
picked Jase up and carried him up stairs.

No sooner had they made it up stairs that Jen, Nicole, and my mother walked
in the front door. They were each carrying about eight bags each. The first
thing in my head was that I know that there was not the much stuff on my
list.

"Okay why all of the bags?" I asked.

"Well for one you never give a woman your credit card!!!" Jen quickly
stated.

"And for two, these are not all for you so don't worry. We have all of your
stuff except one thing, but we also have mine, Jen, your mother's, Brian,
Kevin, Justin, Brit, James and Josh, Nick, and Howie and AJ. They all
wanted to get Jase something, so they were stupid also and gave us their
credit cards too, but we did not use them because of the names on the
cards, so we put them on yours. And before you say anything, we don't care
how you felt about it!" Nicole said.

"Oh I see how I rank now!" I said trying not to smile at what they did, but
I could not hold it back.

"Are the guys outside? I haven't seen Brian and AJ for a long time!" My
mother stated. I swear that you probably could hear the thump all the way
in China! I was shocked!

"Christopher, what is your problem?" my mother asked.

"You.... You know them?" I asked

"Yeah I have met them a couple of times when Nicole was working with them!
Why?" My mother stated. All I could do was give Nicole that stare of death!

"Why didn't I know? Nicole, we need to talk about this withholding
information deal." I said.

"Fine! But I need to talk to you anyway." Nicole said pulling me into the
next room.

"Okay what's going on?" I asked.

"The one thing that I did not get was the last thing on your list. Chris
you already have it waiting for you outside." Nicole said.

"I know I do, but I didn't when I made out my list. There is something you
need to know about my relationship with Brian. We are kind of........."

"You are with Kevin also! Am I right?" Jen interrupted me.

"What... How?" I asked.

"Kevin talked to me last night!" Jen said

"I've known for over a year now. I walked in on Brian and Kevin one night
after a concert in Texas. Chris if they say that they love you then they
really truly do. And if that is the type of relationship you want then I am
all for it. After what Amber had done to you, you need to have all the love
that you can spare." Nicole said.

"You know that you two really suck! You could have told me that you knew!
But I have one problem now, Mom." I said staring at the floor.

"Chris, look at everything that she has been through, then at her friends,
and then at the love she has for you and Jase. Do you really think that she
will have a problem?" Jen asked.

"I... I don't know!" I said as a tear slid down my face.

"Chris do me one favor, tell her, you may be surprised at her response!"
Nicole said as she walked away.

I just stared at Jen with the same blank look on her face.

"Do you know what she meant by that?" I asked Jen.

"I truly don't have an idea!" Jen said.

"Okay then, I need to finish everything up and then go outside. Can you
help me?" I asked.

"I would but there is nothing left to do!" Jen said as she looked into the
kitchen.

I walked over to where she was standing. In the kitchen were Just, Kev,
Bri, Brit, and my mother. The first thing that popped into my mind was who
was watching the pool. But no sooner had I walked in, that I got my answer
before I could ask the question.

"AJ, Howie, and Josh are watching the pool! James is watching the grill for
me!" Kev said that without turning around to look at me, in fact, no one
turned to look at me. "Oh, we don't need your help so go have fun!"

"Ok then! I guess that I'll just let you people be then." I said as I
walked up stairs to change.

Once I was changed, I walked back down stairs to find everyone must have
gone back outside. I walked down to the patio doors that lead out to the
rather large pool in the back yard. My grandparents thought that they
needed a large in ground pool in the back yard for all of their grand
kids. They had it built about six years ago and every year they added
something new to it until they died. So now what was once an average large
pool, now had a diving board, slide, large wooden deck around it, and a
side whirl pool. I could never really figure out why they would buy all of
this stuff until after they died, then I saw how everyone liked using
it. Today was no different except that my new "Boyfriends" were in it. I
could have stood there all day and watched them but I could tell that there
was someone watching me from behind. I do not know why but I knew who was
there. Then once they spoke, I knew my theory was correct.

"Chris is there something that you need to tell me?" my mother asked.

"Yeah...actually there is." I said knowing that this was going to happen
eventually, but I had not planned it so soon. The strange thing was that I
could not face her, I just stood there staring at the three other people
that made me happy.

"Chris... you love them, don't you? I mean that I know you love them as
friends and all but you love some more than the others, am I correct?" my
mother asked.

All I could do was let the one tear find its way down my cheek. However, I
could not look away from them. I was beginning to believe that if I did, I
would wake up and they would not be there. 'Why do they love me? Do I
honestly love them? Why do I doubt my love for them? Is this the love that
Amber promised me those four years ago?' A hand on my shoulder interrupted
me. I finally turned to look at my mother with tears rolling down my eyes.

"Chris... if you're gay then just say it, but I have to tell you that I
already knew." My mother confessed to me.

"How?" I asked.

"Amber told me that was why she raped you. Then Lynn and I were talking
about how close your were to Justin all those years ago. Chris, I... I knew
about you and Justin before Lynn figured it out. I saw how you looked at
each other and how you two were always bumping into each other on
propose. Chris I also know about Josh and James, they told me last
night. They make a good couple together. And Chris, you need to stop
staring at the three of them before someone else starts thinking that you
are gay also. I know that your and their reputation means a lot to you and
them, so I suggest that you try and not stare them down every five
seconds!" my mother said with a laugh.

"Thanks mom!" I said pulling her into a tight hug and crying into her
shoulder.

"You know what, you must not have gotten your taste in men from me because
look at me, I married your dad! Talk about going low on the totem pole!" my
mother joked.

"I got it from Nicole. She always did have a fine taste in men." I said as
we walked outside.

"You go ahead and have fun, I'm going to go talk to Nicole for a minute."
My mother said.

I walked over to the edge of the pool and sat down with my feet in the
water. I just sat there watching everyone playing around. I counted about
twenty people not counting the guys. Sometime Mary and Judy slipped into
the crowd without me knowing. I sat on the edge watching Justin and Brian
playing with Jase and a couple of other kids that I had invited.  Josh and
James were at the other end of the pool playing with some older kids that
could swim in the deeper part of the pool. I scanned the yard for people
and noticed that my mother was helping Kevin at the grill. Nicole and Jen
were bringing food out of the house and setting it on the table set up
outside the patio door. Then I started to wonder where my other three
people were. No sooner had I made that thought, I saw them being pushed out
the door with Brit's foot kicking both AJ and Howie as they carried food
out of the house. I just smiled and turned back to watch Justin and Nick
playing around with Jase. Then I remembered that Nick was another that I
was missing a while ago, but now where is Brian? I felt an arm wrap around
my shoulder. I turned and looked into the eyes of heaven. These eyes showed
pure love, passion, and lust, but most of all they showed hope for a great
future.

"Hey baby..." Brian whispered in my ear.

"I love you." I whispered back.

"What was your mother talking to you about? I mean, not to be nosy, but I
walked over to talk to you and I saw you talking to your mother with both
of you crying. Is everything alright?" Brian asked.

"Baby my life could not be better! She knows! She knows about all of it,
you, Kevin, and......Justin.  She said that she has known for a long
time. She figured it out when I was going out with Justin." I said with a
smile that could blind people.

"I'm happy for you! You know that I love you right? And that I would never
do anything that would hurt you or Jase." Brian said.

"Baby I know! Are you sure that you're okay with this large relationship
that is going to start forming tonight?" I asked wanting to be positive
that all of this was okay with him.

"It is fine with me as long as it won't keep us apart. If we decide that
all of us being together is harming our relationship then we will separate
from the other two. Kevin and I decided that a long time ago. We may love
each other beyond a family relationship but we also know that we both want
a true love that we can be proud of." Brian said in a low voice so that no
one else could hear.

"Brian that is fine with me, just as long as we are together." I said.

"That will never happen!" Brian said. "Okay how about we have some fun with
those two really cute guys over there!" Brian said pointing at Kevin and
Justin.

"I don't think that Nick is really that cute." I said noticing that Nick
and a couple of other people were playing around with them.

"That is just plain sick to even suggest that!" Brian said quickly.

I pulled Brian into the water with me. I played around for a long time
before my mother had everyone get out of the pool so that Jase could open
up his gifts and to eat cake and ice cream. About an hour later, most of
the people had left. Even at 8 o'clock at night it was still light
outside. Brian, Kevin, Justin, and I were outside cleaning up. Brian and
Kevin were at one end of the yard, while Justin and I were at the other. I
had a question that was dying to be answered and now was the time.

"Justin, do you still love me?" I asked.

"What?" Justin asked.

"Do you still love me?" I asked again.

"Honestly, yes I do! But do not hate me for this but I also like Kevin
and... well.... Brian too!" Justin said with a bit of shame in his voice.

"Justin I could not hate you for something that I want you to do!" I said.

"What? What do you mean?" Justin asked.

"Justin, you need to tell Kevin how you feel, then trust everything that
happens to you." I said.

"I... I can't! I'm still upset about earlier today. He hurt me. It will
take a lot for him to prove to me that he is actually sorry for what he
did." Justin said as a tear slid down his face.

"Justin, just promise me that you will give him a chance to show you that
he is sorry." I asked him

"I will at least do that for you." Justin said as we walked into the house.

After everything was cleaned up, we gathered in the living room to decide
on what we were actually going to do. Brit and Jen were on a large beanbag
chair that they pulled away from the corner of the room.  Josh and James
were sitting in a love seat talking among them selves. Justin and Kevin
were lying on the floor with about ten feet in between them. Nick was lying
on the floor with Jase lying on his back. Howie was sitting on the floor
leaning against the front of the couch with AJ's head in his lap. Then
there were Bri and I; I was sitting on the couch with my legs laying the
length of the couch and Brian lying between my legs leaning against my
chest. This was the "Fruitiest" sight that anyone would ever see!

We decided that we all would watch movies tonight and just relax. The first
movie that we watched was Titanic (yeah I know that I could have made a
better choice, but who cares, its romantic!).  You know that I have seen
that move a million times, but this time it seemed more interesting. It may
have been the fact that I was watching it with my boyfriend, or rather
making out with my boyfriend. Or it could have been that I now understood
what it was like to find love so quickly and wanted to build off that love,
without letting the whole world know.

By the time the movie was over, Bri, Kev, Just, and I were the only ones
awake. We made everyone who was asleep go to a bed. Jen and Brit were going
over to my mother's house and sleeping over there. Josh and James took one
of the spare rooms, Howie and AJ were put into another of the spare rooms,
and Jase begged Nick to sleep in his room with him (not that it took a lot
of that to get him to do it). The four of us who were still awake decided
to watch another movie. This time we watched Steel Magnolias. You know that
I hate how they just let Julia Robert die like that at the end of the
movie.

About half way through the movie, I noticed Just and Kev had moved closer
to one another. About the end of the movie, I looked down at them and saw
that they were holding each other while they slept. They looked so good
together. Bri and I finished watching the movie and then decided that we
should get them to bed. I told Bri that it would be better if we carried
them up to the room, that way we won't have to wake them up.

"Are you sure?" Bri asked.

"Bri, look they are just too cute to wake up! You take Just and I will
carry Kev." I said.

Bri had Just in his arms in no time, but I had a little more trouble with
Kev because he was a little bigger than Just, plus he was just plan
heavy. As I finally got Kev into a position that I could handle without
dropping him, he snuggled into my chest, put his head on my shoulder,
pulled me tighter to him. I really could get use to this. Brian seemed to
be having the same thoughts because I could see the smile on his face as
Just rearranged himself just as Kev had. We made it up stairs without any
major problems, but then came the big problem.

"Where are we going to put them?" Bri asked me.

"I'm not sure. I have a couple of spare rooms, but do they want to sleep
together?" I said.

"We want to sleep with you." Bri and I heard Kev and Just mumble.

"Can we all fit in your bed?" Bri asked.

"Yeah we can. So I guess that our problem is solved then." I said as we
made it into my room.

I put Kev down on the bed and started to undress him so that he was a
little more comfortable to sleep. I had just taken off his shirt when Brian
stopped me.

"Chris you may want to know that Kev normally does not wear underwear. So
if you really don't want to see him right now then you can go ahead and
lock everything up while I put some decent clothes on him." Bri said.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah you go ahead, its not like I haven't seen him before." Bri said.

"Well I'm not ready for that step at this exact moment, but you have to
know that I may wake up in the morning and say that I'm ready." I said.

"Chris I understand where you're coming from. But you have to know that Kev
and I still are virgins, we have only had oral sex. We wanted to save
everything else for the person that we loved." Bri said.

"Bri, it would have been okay even if you weren't a virgin, but now I know
that, I am a little more closer to you, just by you telling me that little
bit of information. Okay I'm going to go lock everything up and then check
on all of our children." I said as I walked out of the bedroom.

I walked down stairs and made sure that the doors were locked. As I walked
through the living room, I stopped at the pictures of my grandparents and
Amber that I had on the wall. I just stared at them for a minute before the
words finally slipped out of my mouth.

"This is all you guys, isn't it?" I asked the pictures, then closed my eyes
listening to the dark.

"Chris know that all good comes from that of the bad. You have made it
through most of the bad, but you still have a lot more before you find the
good in life." The dark spoke to me.

I opened my eyes to find no one around. I just stared back up at the
picture of my grandparents and that was when I noticed for the first time a
twinkle in my grandmother's eye. Had that been there this whole time? Or,
was it a sign that she was the one who had spoken to me?

I went back up stairs after finishing locking up. Everyone seemed to be
happily asleep; the only ones that were not sleeping very happily were Nick
and Jase. I walked into the room to find out why Nick looked so
uncomfortable. Nick was lying on his back with Jase beside him, the only
problem was that Jase was kicking Nick; this is an easy problem I
thought. I moved Jase away from Nick a little bit so that I could put a
pillow beside him, that way when Jase would kick it would not hit him
directly.

I walked out of the room after making sure nothing else was wrong. I looked
into Josh and James room and found that Josh was sitting up in the bed
crying. I walked into the room. Josh looked up at me; I could see that he
had something on his mind.

"Josh, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Chris, I... I... I love him! I mean not that I have not loved him all this
time, but I really do love him. I fear for him though. Diane does not know
yet! Every time he starts telling her, she finds something else to do other
than listening to him. Chris I'm scared that she will reject him."  Josh
said as more tears flowed out with that last statement.

"Josh, I don't think that Diane would do something like that! She maybe
upset and/or confused but I don't think that she would ever go to that
extreme." I said pulling him into a hug for comfort.

"Chris... I'm ready to go to the next step with James. I want to give him
my virginity but I'm scared that he is not ready for that yet. I would feel
as if I'm moving to fast with him then." Josh said.

"Have you told James that yet?" I asked.

"No" Josh said softly.

"Well then I think that you need to. But for right now you need to go to
bed. Its late and I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow. Josh could you do
something for me tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yeah.... What is it?"

"I need to go see grandma & grandpa, dad, and Amber. I don't think that I
can do it alone." I said looking down at the floor.

"Chris you should know by now that you will never have to do that by
yourself. Even if that would mean that I would have to fly across country
just to go stand with you for five minutes at their graves, I would. Chris
you also need to realize that you're no longer alone in this world. You
have seven good friends and three lovers that will always be by your side
no matter what." Josh said.

"Thanks Josh." I said as I turned and started to walk out the door, but
stopped and turned back around. "Josh why do you let me call you that but
no one else?"

"Because you are the only person that has proven himself worthy of the
privilege, well other than James, but you have been worthy with him
too. Chris you may not see it or you just may want to deny it again, but
you're as close to us as the rest of our families, why else would you call
all of our parents mom and dad. Chris you have the largest extended family
that I have ever known and you should be grateful for that." Josh said.

"You know what... I am, every day of my life!" I said as I walked out of
the room.

I walked down the hallway into my room. I walked just into the door and
stopped, the sight before me caused me to melt into a puddle on the
floor. Sometime after I had left Jase and Nick's room, Jase had gotten up
and went into my room. There in my bed was Justin on the edge of the bed,
facing toward the middle of the bed where Kevin laid facing Justin. Brian
was lying just behind Kev facing the door as if he had been waiting up for
me to come back but had fallen asleep in the process. But the part the
really caused me to cry, was that Jase was lying in Brian's arms, hugging
close to Bri.

I walked over to the edge of the bed and sat down, trying to make as little
movement as was possible so that I would not wake anyone up. As I lay down
and just stared at Bri and Jase as they slept, I thought, 'God sent me two
angels to start with, and I ended up with four total! How did I ever
deserve this?' I turned out the light, and used the bright moon light to
watch the four people that were meaning the most in my life as they slept,
but needless to say, I soon joined them in that heavenly peace.

Back to the present:

I laid there just think about everything that had happened twenty-five
years ago. But now with the pain from yesterday's funeral, I wish that she
would have never started smoking all those years ago, I have to start all
over again. I no longer have the one major supporter. The one person that
told me that she had known about my relationship with Justin when I was so
young, then when the three people that were sent to help me with life and
love, then the death of another extremely close family member. By the time
I had finally gotten married, I had five children to raise and an extremely
stressful business that was making its raise. The only reason that I had
the strength to keep going was because of the three angels that were sent
to me those twenty-five years ago...... And yet I never regret anything of
the obstacles that god has planted in front of me. I have lost a lot of
people in the last forty-four years. But now, I have a son that is 29, a
successful business man and a wonderful husband and father; three daughters
that are 24 years old, one of them is a student at Harvard studying law,
the other is a student studying for her medical certificate, and the last
is studying at Yale in business. I have one more son, well I don't claim
him because he does not act like me at all (not that he is actually my son,
but legally he is), but he acts more like his mother and the other eleven
people that helped me raise them all. Now that I think about it, that next
day after I had fallen asleep is what changed my whole life in an
instant. In less than two days I had had my second boyfriend, and then the
boyfriend turned into Boyfriends. But the information that Jen gave me that
next day, is what had proven to me that this relationship was about to hit
a bumpy road that did not look too happy.... But my decision that day is
what allowed me to have everything that I ever wanted or needed now. And
that included my twenty-three year wedding anniversary, just last week....

To be continued.....

Okay I hope that you liked this chapter. It did not turn out the way I had
planned, but I have stopped planning the chapters, and I am just working
with the flow of things now. I'm trying to make sure that I post at least
once a month now, but it may take longer sometimes. All comments are
welcomed. But please don't comment on grammar and spelling because I know
that there are far worse stories out there. Oh, I would also like to know
how the readers would like this story to turn out. I have the last chapter
finished, I just need to have things to fill in the middle with. So any
ideas would be much appreciated. Thanks for reading, bye

Christopherunknown

Christopherunknown@hotmail.com