Date: Sat, 30 Dec 2000 23:59:43 -0800 (PST)
From: Parlance <par_lance1@yahoo.com>
Subject: Heat

*************************************

Title: Heat
Author: Parlance, copyright 2000
Email: par_lance1@yahoo.com
Site: http://www.geocities.com/par_lance1
Pairing: Um, you'll see.
Rating: NC-17.  Take my word for it.
Classification:  HUMOR.  You hear me?  HUMOR.  In case
you didn't get it the first time, it's HUMOR.  NO
basis in reality whatsoever.  Okay, some slash too -
you've been warned.  But it's HUMOR.
Disclaimer: Don't know `em, have no idea if they enjoy
they things suggested in this fic.  Don't wanna know.
Feedback appreciated.  Flames will be used to set
Michael Jackson's hair on fire.  Again.
Archive: Please ask first

Shout out to Sammie and Tabby Sebastian, my furry
little slug, for providing inspiration for this story.
 And to Lois for beta'ing.  :-D

************************************
Fall, 2000

A non-descript older gentleman with glasses approached
the main desk of the Bel Age hotel in Los Angeles.
He'd been given the codename for his patient.

"I'm here to see a Mr. Fly.  Could you tell me what
room he's staying in?"

"Let me call up to the room, sir," the desk clerk
answered.  "What is your name?"

"Dr. George Bentley."

"One moment please while I ring his room.... `Mr.
Super Fly?  Oh, well then, is Mr. Fly available?
Well, I have a Dr. George Bentley here to see him.
Yes, sir.'"  The desk clerk hung up the phone.  "Room
231, sir.  They're expecting you."

Dr. Bentley, that rare doctor who still made house
calls, rushed up to the suite where his patient, the
youngest member of *Nsync, was staying.  A "Do Not
Disturb" sign hung on the door knob.  The doctor
knocked and immediately a very harried Joey Fatone
answered the door and quickly hustled the doctor into
the room.  What had once been a sumptuously decorated
suite was in complete shambles.  The curtains had been
ripped to shreds.  Torn pillows and down feathers
littered the floor.  In the kitchen, a carafe of
orange juice was turned over and broken glass lined
the counter.

Joey was not alone.  He was joined in the main room of
the suite by Chris, and JC, looking equally haggard.
They were slumped in chairs that looked like they'd
been clawed by wild animals  - the stuffing was
peeking out of the backs and seats.  Justin was
nowhere to be seen.

"Dr. Bentley?  Hi.  Thank God you're here.  Thanks for
getting here so quickly."

"Does anyone else know that I'm here?

"No, Doc.  We have to keep this as quiet as
possible..."

Suddenly Joey was interrupted by an ear-piercing noise
that could only be described as a yowl.  Dr. Bentley
jumped at the sound, but Joey merely touched his
forehead, having already grown accustomed to it.

"See what I've been telling you?  He's been like this
for the past couple of nights-"

"HOOOWWWWLLLLL!!!!"

"We thought he was just joking, but he won't stop.  I
don't know what's wrong with him-"

"OOOOOWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH!!!" came an anguished
cry.

"None of us can sleep... you can see what he's done to
the place-"

"That's coming out of our pockets."   Chris grumbled.

"AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

"He's in the bedroom?"

"Yeah," Joey pointed in the direction of the bedroom.
"I hope you can do something."

"Do you know if he's on medication?  He hasn't been
missing any doses, has he?"

Joey looked at the others, who shrugged.  "Nah, I
don't think so.  I'm sure his mom would have told us
to keep an eye on him if that were the case."

The doctor nodded gravely and headed for the bedroom.
The four members of Nsync in the living room followed
him as much out of curiosity as much to protect him
from sudden attack.

The bedroom was in a greater state of chaos than the
living room of the suite.  The comforter on the bed
had been ripped in half.  Bottles of shampoo and
conditioner had been poured out and grounded into the
carpet.  Mysteriously enough, the shower curtain lay
across the desk,, also torn.  On the bed was a
completely naked Justin Timberlake, jumping up and
down on the mattress.  His hair was matted, he was
unshaven and he looked as though he hadn't showered in
a few days.  The doctor sniffed.  There was a
decidedly unpleasant odor emitting from Justin's
corner of the room.

Dr. Bentley, entered the room and Justin paused and
stared at the doctor just long enough for him  to
catch the wild, glazed look in the young man's eye.
Suddenly, Justin pounced from across the spacious
bedroom.  Before his friends could stop him, Justin
wound his leg around Dr. Bentley's waist, and
proceeded to hump his naked body furiously against the
unsuspecting doctor's leg with an almost preternatural
speed.  Inhuman pants and groans escaped from Justin's
lips as his movements intensified with each thrust.

"Justin, no!"  JC cried, as he leapt at Justin and
tried to pry him away from the doctor's leg.  Once the
doctor spurned Justin's advances, he decided that
Chris' hip offered more promise.  It took the strength
of all the men to pry the frenzied man away from
Chris.   They hurled Justin onto the bed and held him
down while Lance grabbed anything within arms reach
that could be used to strap him to the bed - bathrobe
tie, shirts, even the torn comforter.

The men successfully tied Justin's limbs to the
bedposts while Justin continued to hump the air.  He
kicked futilely at his restraints and howled angrily.

"Dude, no one told me I was signing up for `The
Exorcist.'" said Chris.   Next thing he's gonna be
spitting pea soup.  Whatever you do, keep Lance's
crucifix away from him."

Dr. Bentley reached into his breast pocket and pulled
out a handkerchief and wiped the sweat off his brow.
"So, this is how he's been acting for the past two
days?"

Joey nodded.  "Well, this is the worst he's been.  But
maybe that's because we haven't had anyone else in the
room.  We have a week off from tour, so we've been
resting."

Chris added, "And that's when Cujo here started
screaming and trashing the room a couple of days ago."

Lance shook his head.  "We have no idea what's wrong.
He won't even speak to us."

Dr. Bentley raised an eyebrow.  "Does he say
*anything*?"

"No, he just sits there... growling," JC answered.
"Have you ever seen this before?"

The doctor shrugged.  "Among the mentally ill, yes.
But I wouldn't speculate until I know more.  Has he
done this before?"

"No.  we've never seen anything like this.  We're
really worried about him, Doc," said Joey.

"Let me examine him.  He might be feverish.  Justin,
I'm Dr. Bentley.  How are you feeling?  Do you know
where you are?"

Justin replied with a snarl.

Dr. Bentley sighed and went to the bathroom and washed
his hands.  When he returned, he reached into his bag,
and presented a disposable thermometer.  He put it in
Justin's mouth.  The enraged young man spit out the
thermometer immediately, beaning the doctor on the
forehead.

"Well, he's obviously not going to cooperate,"
commented Dr. Bentley, rubbing the sore red spot on
his head.  "This is going to require an unconventional
approach."  He pulled out a rectal thermometer from
his bag.

The other members of *Nsync gagged.  "Dude, I am *so*
not going to stand here watching you plug his ass with
one of those things."  Chris exclaimed.   "I've had
enough of this drama."  With that, he bolted out of
the suite.

************************************

Part 2/4

"We can't just abandon him," Lance called out to
Chris.

"Well, I'll be in the next room if you need anything,"
Joey left the bedroom.  JC shivered and followed Joey.

"I'll stay in here in case he has another... episode,"
Lance told the doctor.   "I'm going to turn around
while you're doing that, but I'll stay with you."

The other two could hear Justin's snarls and yelps in
the main room.  But then the room grew silent.  Joey
furrowed an eyebrow at the others and went to
investigate.

Dr. Bentley was quietly taking Justin's blood
pressure.

"What happened?"

I don't know.  Maybe he tired himself out.  I inserted
the thermometer, and he hasn't complained."  The
doctor finished taking Justin's blood pressure and
checking his ears and nose and throat.  Then he
extracted the thermometer and immediately Justin
bellowed.

"UUUUUGGGGGAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

JC appeared behind Joey.  "Well, if that's all it
takes to keep him quiet, can we keep the thermometer?"

"OOOWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"Justin, calm down.  The doctor's here to help you!"
Lance shouted, wagging his finger at Justin, who
gnashed his teeth at Lance.  He prepared to bite
Lance's finger, but then caught himself.  Instead, he
leaned over and suckled at the tip of the finger.

"Wha--?" began JC

"The hell?" finished Lance.  Lance was so astonished
at Justin's behavior that he didn't snatch away his
finger.  He slipped more of the digit past Justin's
lips.  Justin accepted it gratefully, and whimpered
like a puppy.

"Oh!" Lance exclaimed, looking into Justin's adoring
blue eyes.  "How cute!"

"That's odd," Joey commented.  "Between that and the
thermometer, this is the calmest he's been since it
all started."

Dr. Bentley shook his head.  "I think he may need to
be hospitalized."

The other three members of *Nsync voiced their
disagreement in unison.  "No, doctor.  Please.  We
can't have that.  We can't have the fans finding out
what's going on.  Can't you do something in the
meantime?"

The doctor sighed.  "Well, he'll definitely need to be
sedated him.  Here."  The doctor wrote out a
prescription.  "He needs to take this with food.  I
have another appointment I have to go to.  But you
have my number.  Call me if his condition gets worse."

After the doctor left, Joey held the prescription in
his hand.  "One of us has to pick this up."

Lance was still gazing into Justin's eyes.  "Well, it
doesn't look like he's going to let me leave."

"Why don't you go, Joey?  Maybe I can call Britney in
Germany and see if she knows what's going on?"

"You think it's wise to bring her into this?"

"Got a better idea?"

Joey shrugged.  "Okay, I'll be back."

JC called Britney from the main room, but he kept his
ears sharp for any renewed strange noises coming from
Justin's room.

Britney was in the middle of an interview, so JC left
a message with her assistant that he had a question
about Justin.  It took Britney only five minutes to
return the call.  She listened to JC as he described
Justin's odd behavior.

"Oh, he's in heat," Britney told him - almost
flippantly it seemed.

"Britney, this isn't a joke.  He's sick."

"Naw, he's not sick.  He's just in heat.  Happens to
him around this time of the year, every year."

JC inhaled sharply.  "Britney, I love you, but I swear
if you don't-"

"JC, I'm not pulling your leg.  He's clawing the walls
and tearing everything up, right?"

"Yeah, but-"

"And he's not speaking coherently?   He's just
hollering and caterwauling?"

"Uh huh..."

"And humping everyone in sight?"

"Yeaaaahh..."

"Justin's in heat.  He gets like this and he can't
help it."

"This is crazy.  You knew about this and didn't tell
anyone?!"

 "JC, I'm sorry.  But I usually take care of him."

"So, you've seen him like this before?"

"Well, this one sounds a little worse than usual.
Have you tried letting him suck on someone's finger?"

"Uh, I think Lance is taking care of that right now."
JC turned around in the direction of Justin's bedroom.
 The door was closed and it was just *too* quiet.

"Good boy.  That'll hold him awhile.  Listen, I can be
back in Los Angeles in two weeks."

"TWO WEEKS?!  Britney, we don't have two weeks!  We
have to back onstage in less than that time!"

"Okay, okay.... um, hmmm.  Okay, let me see if I can
fake a flu or something and cancel a concert.  He's
really bad, huh?"

"Britney, if you really have something to do with
making this stop, then the sooner the better."

JC turned off his cell phone.  Gruff-sounding moans
were coming out of the bedroom now.  Poor Lance - he
probably had had enough.  His finger must be
positively pruney.  JC frowned.  He really didn't want
to be the one to have to volunteer his own next.  But
if it kept Justin from bouncing off the walls...  He
wished Joey would hurry up with that medicine.  Damn
Chris for leaving them alone.

JC approached the bedroom cautiously, afraid of what
surprises Justin might have in store next.  The way he
was going, he was only a few steps away from throwing
his feces at the walls.  Nevertheless, he was hardly
prepared for what he found.

"LANCE!  What are you doing?!"

************************************

Part 3/4

Justin was on the bed, unbound.  Before him, on all
fours, was Lance being thoroughly and blissfully
fucked.

Lance yelped as soon as JC discovered the two in their
naked clinch, but Justin had a tight grip on Lance's
hips and wasn't about to let him go, especially when
he was so close to release.  Justin finally shuddered
and slowed his movements.  Then he withdrew and
retired to the bathroom with a grunt.  Lance grabbed
what little was left of the sheets to cover himself,
even though JC had already turned his back on the duo.

With his back still turned to Lance, JC cleared his
throat.  "Lance, what the hell was that?"

Lance swallowed.  "Shit, JC, I started feeling sorry
for him.  He kept looking up at me like an abused
puppy.  And then he started licking my face, and I
realized I kind of liked it.  So I let him.. you
know...  At least he's quieted down a little, and he's
not trying to do any more damage.  It's almost like
he's in heat or something."

"That's what Britney said."

"Oh, you caught up with her?"

"She said-" JC almost turned around to face Lance, but
caught himself.  "She said he gets like this around
this time of the year every year."

"So, I'm right."

"Yeah, uh huh, but do you think that was wise, Lance?
If he's in heat, I don't think once is going to do
it."

"Ah, he's a pussycat now.  Anyway, Britney's coming
back, right?"

"In a week *maybe*."

"In a...  in a... in a..."

"Week."  JC turned around.  Lance's face had grown
ever paler, if that were possible.  JC grinned evilly.
 "Have fun."  He pulled the door closed just as Justin
returned from the bathroom and pounced on Lance with
renewed vigor.

*****************

"How come we never knew we had a walking time bomb on
our hands?"  Joey asked Chris and JC a couple of days
later, amid a cacophony of moans and howls.

Chris shrugged.  "Maybe Britney's been taking care of
him longer than we ever knew."

JC grimaced.  "Man, that's sick.  I've known Justin
since we was, like, 12, and I don't wanna even think
about that."

At that moment, there was a knock on the door.  Room
service had arrived.  The boys had taken to ordering
food from the restaurant and the local pizza joint so
they could maintain vigil over Justin and Lance, and
also keep the occupied couple fed.

Joey signed the bill and closed the door behind the
hotel attendant.  As they made plates of food for
themselves, he asked, "So, who's gonna be the delivery
boy this time?"

"It's Chris' turn."

Chris grumbled and grabbed the room service cart by
the handle and wheeled it into the room.  "Come rescue
me if I'm not back in two."

Chris opened the door and was greeted by the sight of
Lance... cleaning.  He was fucking cleaning the room
while his appendage was still taking care of business
with aplomb.

"Well, that takes some talent," Chris commented drily.

Lance looked up from the desk, which he was in the
process of polishing.

"Gee -uhm - thanks.  Since we weren't't -uhm - letting
housekeeping into the suite, I couldn't -uhm, mmmm!
stand to look at this room -uhm - anymore.  Joey stole
- uhm - some cleaning stuff from -uhm- the maid's cart
for me."

Chris looked around.  He was impressed.  Lance had
even sprayed with Glade and had *almost* managed to
mask the intense smell of sex that permeated the room.
 He cracked open a window and then took a closer look
at Lance's face, and was taken aback by the dark
circles under his eyes.  "When's the last time you've
slept, Lance?"

Lance stopped polishing long enough to anchor himself
against a chair.  "I haven't.  He won't let me.  I
mean, I get 15 minutes here and there, but it doesn't
take him long to reenergize."

"Well, look, here's lunch in the meantime."  Chris
then left the room in a hurry just before Justin
bodily lifted Lance over to the serving cart and
grabbed some sustenance.  He never missed a beat.

"I think I just lost my appetite,"Chris commented to
no one in particular.  "Is there anything we can do
about the human Legos in there?  Can't Britney get
here any sooner?"

"It'll be less than a week.  Maybe we better give him
that medicine the doctor prescribed in the first
place."

 "We have to think of something.  Lance looks like
he's going to pass out."

Joey shook his head.  "Right in the middle of a tour.
This couldn't have happened at a worst time."

************************************

Part 4/4

The next morning, during breakfast, Lance hobbled out
of the room, covering himself with the clothes he
hadn't worn in two days.

Lance hid behind the kitchen bar and got dressed in a
hurry.  From out of the bedroom came an angry roar.

"RRROOOOWWWWWLLLLL!!!!"

"I've HAD it!  I can't even eat without it going to
the gutter!  You don't want to know what he was going
to try with the Canadian bacon!"

"Please, don't.  I already have the visual, thank
you."  Chris muttered.

Lance continued his tirade.  "How am I supposed to
dance next week?  Fuck dancing.  How am I going to
walk again?"  Lance shook his finger at his bandmates.
 "You can't make me go back in there.  If you try, I
swear, I'll quit the group!"

"Lance, calm down!"  JC told him.  "Wait, you just
left him alone in the room.  Why isn't he trying to
kill us all?"

Lance sighed.  "He's tied to the bedposts again.  I
managed to convince him I wanted to try something
kinky with the Hollandaise sauce and he fell for it."
Lance zipped up his pants and limped from behind the
counter.  "Anyway, he's pissed at me now.  There's no
way I'm going back in there."

"GGRRRRROOOOOOOWWWWOOOOOLLLLLL!!!!" Justin protested.

"Dammit," Joey spat.  "What are we going to do?  We're
going to get kicked out of the hotel.  Can you imagine
what the press would do if they got a hold of this
story?"

"I have an idea," Lance began and he eased himself
into a chair.  "My cat went into heat before we
finally had her spayed.  The vet told us we had to put
Vaseline on a Q-Tip and stick it in her... y'know."

The room was silent for a moment.  "Dude," Chris
began.  "If you think I'm sticking my thumb up
Justin's ass, think again."

"Maybe we can get Justin to stick his own thumb up his
ass," JC suggested.

"What, and maybe he'll just keep it there until
Britney comes in a few days?"  Joey snapped.

"Shut up, you guys," Lance snapped back.  "Look, a
little Q-Tip isn't going to do the job.  But if we got
something big enough - like a dildo or something,
maybe that would tide him over."

Chris burst into laughter.  This entire scene was too
surreal to take it seriously anymore.  His laughter
finally infected the others.  Even Lance laughed until
he was in pain.

"Ow.  Don't make me laugh right now.  So, joking
aside, what do you think?"

"Good thinking.  Except Justin's not a girl," JC
pointed out.

"The thermometer worked a little, remember?  I don't
think it matters.  Clearly our boy swings every way."

"So, what, we have to measure his asshole to make sure
we get the right fit?"  That was Chris.

Lance rolled his eyes.  "Just go to a sex store and
get a few in different sizes."

The others looked at each other.  "So, what schmuck's
gotta go take care of this one?" Joey asked.

"Not me," Lance answered.  "I think I've done my civic
duty for the century, thank you.  The only thing I'm
going to do is sleep."

An hour later, JC, having drawn the short straw,
entered the Pleasure Chest wearing a hat and a pair of
sunglasses.  He bee-lined for the dildos and butt
plugs in the back.  He carelessly grabbed an armload
of toys.  He looked around to make sure he hadn't been
noticed and stopped just long enough to grab some
scented creams and body paint to introduce to Bobbi
later on.  He ignored the smirk from the cashier as he
easily racked up a $240 bill, and hurried out of the
shop.

Back at the suite, JC angrily dumped the contents of
the Pleasure Chest bag on the kitchen counter.  "I've
never been so embarrassed.  You know, the teeny
boppers outside the hotel know exactly where this bag
came from."

"The hell is this for?"  Chris picked up a pair of
edible underwear.

"Nothing!" JC snatched the undies from his friend.
"Okay, I bought the stuff.  I am *not* going to be the
one trying it out."

"Don't look at me," Joey turned to Chris.  "I
delivered breakfast, and Justin almost decided I might
make the better meal."

"Maaaaaan, you know... the things I do for you
guys..."  Chris gathered the assortment in his arms
and let fly a litany of curses as he entered the
lion's den.

The others listened from outside as Justin's howls and
screeches continued.

"OOOOWWWWW.... Oh?   AAAUUUWWWWGGGHHHH.... hmmm....
GRRAWWWWWLLLLLL.... *grunt*  Graaaawwwwwllll....
Grawl.  *whimper*  Grawl?

"*Sigh*."

Then silence.  Then the sound of water.  Joey and JC
rushed into the bedroom.  Chris was furiously washing
his hands while muttering a string of obscenities.  On
the bed, Justin was resting peacefully in the fetal
position, sucking his thumb.  He was purring
contentedly.

Joey and JC breathed a sigh of relief.  Chris joined
them only after subjecting his hands to five minutes
of scalding water.  They left the room, and quietly
closed the door.

"That seemed to do it," JC remarked.

"Better have," Chris retorted.  There's not enough
love in the world to make me go through that again.
That is just *way* too much Justin Timberlake for
anyone to subject anyone to."

****************

Three days later, Britney Spears arrived at the suite.
 JC opened the door and without a word, she brushed
him aside and swept into the bedroom like the diva she
was.  JC turned to Lance, who hadn't left his chair in
the past few days.  The only thing the two could hear
were jubilant cries.  He could have sworn he heard
baby talk from Britney, but he wasn't sure.

There was a knock on the door.  JC opened it to find
Chris looking worried.

"Britney's back.  Everything's back to normal," JC
told him.

"Not quite.  I think whatever Justin had is
contagious.  Joey's baying at the moon."

JC tilted his head back and look heavenward.  "I'll
call Kelly."  He turned to Lance.  "Lance, do you
mind...?"

"Way ahead of you."  Lance stumbled out of his chair.
"But you guys are gonna owe me big time."

FINIS

************************************

=====
"Yea, verily, this sucks." - Christopher in "Idle Pleasures"

I like my alcohol like I like my men.  Strong, sweet and fruity.

Parlance's *NSYNC Fan Fiction:
http://www.geocities.com/par_lance1