Date: Mon, 07 Aug 2000 21:21:25 EDT From: Christine Murphy <heymickey43@hotmail.com> Subject: Hey Mickey 5: Tortured OK, so this one came out a lot sooner than I thought it would. That's what happens when my neighbor goes away for a few days. :) It's also what happens when I finally get speakers for my laptop, and I can hear my mp3s a lot clearer, so I can be inspired by them. Uh, this is a lot less happy than the other installments, as I'm working through some stuff this week. BUT! I do LOVE feedback. It makes me get inspired to work on this, though maybe you don't think that's a good thing. I really enjoy the "I really hate Dan" comments I get; they make me laugh, though this week I realized Dan's my brother-in-law's name. Oops. They don't have anything else in common. ****DISCLAIMER: This is fiction, I don't own anyone, I don't know anyone in the story. Therefore, I don't know their true sexuality, and I don't mean to imply that anyone is something they're not. Also, if it's illegal where ever you are to read this, then don't. Hmm... and if you're against male homosexuality, then don't read this. Last time on Hey Mickey: Chris stuck his tongue out at JC, and Joey pulled Chris in for a kiss. Dan just looked around at everyone. He knew he'd never fit in. He didn't really care, either; he just wanted JC to himself. He protectively put an arm around JC, while looking directly at Justin, who cringed a little. 'The little punk seems somewhat self-assured tonight, though,' Dan noted carefully. 'Well, I'll just have to make sure that ass knows that JC is mine tonight,' he thought while taking a seat on the couch next to his boyfriend. ______________________________________________________________________________ Hey Mickey 5: Tortured "So, honey, what movie are we going to watch?" Dan asked. "How about Swingers? We all know that Chris has the hots for Vince Vaughn, who gets kinda naked . . . and the movie is really funny, too," JC replied. "Hey! Do we need to tell everyone about that? I think Joe's about to kill me!" Chris giggled. "Dan is not everyone. He's my boyfriend. Can't you respect that?" JC was getting visibly agitated. "JC, man, it was a joke. Calm down. Anyone important to you is important to us," Justin added comfortingly, but with a noticeable edge. Dan flashed Justin an insincere smile while putting his arm around JC. JC rested his head against Dan's shoulder and put the movie on. "Thank you Justin. It means a lot to me that you're so supportive of my relationship with Dan," JC added. They all settled in for the movie, which was a good movie to watch with friends. The plot wasn't too difficult, so they could chat over it. It also had many good lines, which they all appreciated with hearty laughs, except for Dan, who really wasn't much of a laugher [did you really expect him to be?]. Dan just cuddled warmly with JC throughout the movie, occasionally joining in to the conversation for the sole purpose of appeasing his boyfriend. When the movie ended Justin yawned sleepily and headed off for bed, trying not to notice that JC was asleep in Dan's arms. 'Damn. He looks so sweet when he's asleep, even with him,' Justin thought as he caught a glimpse. "Justin, he's mine. You know that. I'm going to spend tonight with him, and I think you just need to get over it," Dan sneered. "I know, but I will never get over it." "Get over what?" JC asked, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "Nothing," Dan and Justin replied in unison. "Hey! You two are getting along! That's so money!" JC noted happily, quoting a line from the movie. "Yes, JC we are. I'm heading off to bed, I suggest you and Dan make the best of your last night in L.A. for a while," Justin suggested, hating what he just implied. JC blushed, but inside he really wanted to spend the night making love to Justin. Dan just pulled JC towards his room. All night Justin could hear the sounds of JC and Dan having sex next door. He couldn't sleep, listening to the torture. His only solace was that he knew what JC didn't know. That they loved each other, and that Dan was just a distraction. A large, mean-spirited, all-consuming distraction, but still, a distraction. Justin knew that one day he and JC would be together; they had to be. Justin felt himself mature with this knowledge, and he no longer felt the need to cry about JC. He knew that everything would be worked out. * * * JC and Dan said their good byes the next morning, JC promising to fly out to LA next Wednesday to visit Dan. Dan pulled JC into a long, sensual kiss, in order to keep him from forgetting him during the week apart. Dan's tongue explored JC's mouth with such passion that it was like it was their first kiss, and Dan added to the pleasure by grinding his body against JC's. "I'll miss you, babe," JC breathed when they finally parted. "That's what I was going for," Dan joked softly. "You best not forget about me for some tramp on the road." "Oh, no! I wouldn't Daniel! You know I wouldn't leave you for just anyone," JC comforted. "But you would leave me for someone special?!" Dan asked jealously. "Huh? No! I meant 'I wouldn't leave you for anyone.' I guess that 'just' accidentally got shoved in there," JC covered, because he knew his that there was one man he would leave Dan for. 'Yeah, that 'Just' does get into things it shouldn't,' Dan muttered to himself. "What was that babe?" JC asked with concern. "You know I wouldn't leave you, right?" "Of course," and Dan pulled JC in for another good-bye kiss. "That's better," JC teased as he kissed Dan again. Justin just sat on the tour bus, sadly watching the entire exchange. 'When will I get my chance? When will JC realize what we have? Oh well, as long as I eventually get him. He doesn't even know I'm . . . I'm . . . not straight,' Justin mused, realizing that he himself wasn't yet sure of what he was. 'Am I bi? I don't know. The only thing that makes sense to me is JC. Maybe I'm not anything. Why do I have to be something? Love is love, right? Damn, I need to figure this out. What if I can't get . . .no, I will. I'm sure we'll be together.' Justin tried to reassure himself, to bring back some of his trademark cockiness. He didn't like the fact that one person could make him doubt himself so much. JC was the only person who ever made him feel this vulnerable, but if anyone had to have that effect on him, Justin was glad it was JC. Justin stopped watching the couple and just sat and waited for the bus to move. Justin knew he'd have to get used to waiting. * * * JC sat in his seat on the tour bus, staring aimlessly out the window. He took in the open road passing him by. The loneliness of the empty highway engulfed him, and he forced himself to confront his problems. 'Why have I been like this? What's wrong with me?' but he knew the answer. He felt alone and depressed, which was why he needed a boyfriend. He didn't love, or even like, Dan that much, but he was there for him. A warm body to come home to, to make him feel good. He really wanted that body to be Justin; he loved Justin. Justin would mean so much more to him, more than Dan ever could mean to him. But Justin wasn't even gay. That thought made the isolation overcome him even more, until he felt like he was being choked. His chest felt as though it was closing in on himself. 'Why is Justin the only one who could take this feeling away from me? Why? Why do I want the straight guy?' JC cried inwardly. He leaned down, putting his head between his arms, which were crossed across the back of the seat in front of him. He did not cry. He hurt too much.