Date: Mon, 28 Aug 2000 14:43:43 -0400
From: Kathrine <storykath@operamail.com>
Subject: How Can You Love Me, chapter ten  (gay/celebrities/boybands)

Legal disclamier: this is fiction. Don't know NSync, not implying anything
about what they are in real life. If you have a problem with male/male
situations and relationships, or this is illegal for you to read, then stay
clear.

Author's note: soon out of prewritten chapters...but I'll probably write
even more before I ever get to the last one I have done till now. This
story is my baby, I'm not sure if I'll ever have the heart to end it. Tell
me if you like it, the adress is storykath@operamail.com

Chapter ten:

Joey was laying absolutely still. -Don't think, he told himself, -don't
feel...  He was being touched, and he just couldn't take it.  This wasn't
right, this wasn't how it was supposed to be. The little voice in the back
of Joey's head was still screaming at him to stop being a coward, to fight
back.  This time Joey listened.

JC woke from something hitting him in the side. Sleepily he opened his eyes
to see what was going on. Joey was turning restlessly next to him,
obviously lost in another nightmare. And a bad one too, after the scared
look on his face and the frantic mumbling. -Baby, he said softly, gently
touching Joey's face. -Honey, wake up, you're having a bad dream. He had so
hoped they had seen the last of the violent nightmares, what had set this
one of?

Escape. That was what Joey was trying to do, but the hands seemed to follow
him.  But this wasn't the brutal touch he had anticipated. In a way this
soothing, tender touch was worse. It gave away a sense of false
security. Before it all got bad.

-Joey, wake up! JC was getting worried. He was careful not to induce more
fear into his sleeping boyfriend. But Joey seemed to be too deep in sleep
and bad dreams, and what JC was doing wasn't helping. He got hold of Joey's
hands and held them stil.  Instantly Joey's body tensed up. And JC knew
they both were in for a rough time.

Halfway between sleep and awake Joey felt someone taking hold of his
hands. It had to be Jim. After all he was the only one in the room with
Joey, wasn't he? JC had left him.  Determined he fought against the hands,
this time he wouldn't let Jim have his way.

-Joey? JC tried again. Honey, wake up! Damn...this isn't working. He raised
his voice some. -Wake up, Joe. Joey was still fighting him. -Please wake
up, JC almost begged him. -I hate to see you like this! Tears were running
down Joey's temples as he was laying on his back with JC leaning over
him. -Oh baby...JC said. He pulled Joey into a tight hug, hoping that the
closeness and warmth would calm him.

He was being held by someone. Arms around his chest, holding him in place.
Close to panicking now, Joey struggled to push away. The arms pulled him
closer, he could hear soothing words being whispered in his ear. What the
hell was going on?

The room was still dark when Joey opened his eyes. Thankful to be out of
the dream, he relaxed. But someone was still holding him. Did it really
happen? Or was it just another nightmare? Only one way to find
out. Tentatively Joey touched the person next to him. He brought his hand
up and touched the other person's face. It felt familiar. -Josh?

Joey was touching his face, like he was trying to determine who was there
with him.  JC heard him say his name. -I'm here, he answered, -right here.
Now he could hear a small sound from Joey, sounding lost and
frightened. For a moment he just snuggled up to JC and wrapped his arms
around him.

Suddenly Joey pushed JC away from him. -You left me! he accused him. -You
left me with him! -Joey, you had a bad dream! JC tried to reason with
him. -I didn't leave you, I was right here by your side.  -I don't believe
you! Joey answered, moving out of JC's reach. He wanted to get away, he
still felt like running. Just that he had no idea where he would run to.
The dream had seriously freaked him out, he still wasn't sure of what had
happened and what was in his head.

Realising that action would be more useful than words here, JC moved after
Joey.  Without saying anything he just embraced his lover, trying to
envelope him in warmth, comfort and love. Joey had his back to him, his
body tense.  -I'm right here, Joey. I didn't leave you. I could never leave
you. I love you, you're my Teddybear. Relieved he could feel Joey relaxing
some, whatever he had dreamt seemed to have given him a bad fright. JC had
some ideas of what the content of the nightmare had been too. Joey didn't
answer him, but JC felt him reaching for his hand.

While holding each other's hands, JC could hear Joey's breath quicken and
start to shiver and knew there were tears on the way.  JC released his hold
for a second and Joey turned around and buried his face in JC's chest. Now
he was clinging to JC, silently begging him to never leave him. The thought
of being without JC scared him more than Jim had ever been able to.  He
gave in to the tears, hoping that JC would understand, that he wouldn't be
mad at him.

-It's OK, babe, JC whispered, stroking Joey's back. -I'll never let you
go. I love you.  Joey held on to JC like a drowning man would hold on to a
lifeline. In fact JC was his lifeline. If not for him, Joey would still be
lost in the living nightmare he had worked himself into. His Tigger had
probably saved his life and made him believe that there was actually a
light at the end of the tunnel, and that he didn't just go deeper and
deeper into damnation.

Joey looked up at JC, tears still on his cheeks. His brown eyes were
shining with unshed tears. It felt like he would never run out of those. Or
pain.  Everything had been fine. He had JC, and JC loved him. He loved JC.
Then just a damn memory, a bad dream, had managed to rip it all
apart. Leaving them right back where they started.

There was a soft look in JC's eyes, his fingers ran over the side of Joey's
face. Then he leaned in for a sweet kiss on Joey's lips. Afraid of loosing
the touch, Joey locked his hand around JC's neck, kissing him back. The
kiss deepened, desire and want snuck in.  JC moved to Joey's cheek and
licked the tears away. The erotic caress sent shudders through Joey,
lighting a fire of passion that only one man could ease.

Joey's hand was on JC's back, the touch burned it's way to the very heart
of him.  On the tip of his tongue was the salty taste of Joey's tears. JC
tenderly kissed away every remaints of tears on Joey's face, stealing small
caresses in the process.  Their lips brushed against each other's, Joey
pulled JC closer. He wanted this, needed this. Their bodies was already
closely entwined.

JC pulled Joey even closer to him. He could feel the kiss change, this
wasn't a comforting kiss anymore. This was more, they both wanted more.
Only problem was if they were ready, if Joey were ready to do this.

Too much had happened in just a few days, how could anybody be ready this
quick?  Well, if you knew...if you looked at each other and knew the other
person held your heart and you happiness forever, you were ready. There
were moments when JC was seriously wondering how they had managed without
each other for so long. When all it took was a mere look to fall in love.

He shifted and pulled Joey with him. Now the younger man was lying on top
of him, legs in between JC's. Joey's hand slid up under his T-shirt. It was
a little surprising to feel Joey make the first move. And it felt
amazing. The warm hand was heading towards JC's chest. JC could feel his
T-shirt being pushed up and then there was the sensations of moist lips on
his naked stomach.

The touch was torching hot, Joey kissed and licked his way all over,
leaving JC in a state of shock and arousal. The T-shirt went further up,
Joey moved after.  Now his lips were on JC's chest. JC was lying still,
trying to figure out what to do.  Most of all he wanted to let Joey
continue what he was doing. His breath was deep and shivering as Joey
planted small kisses on his bare skin, teasing him with the tip of his
tongue. Joey's hands were on JC's sides, just holding him.

Gently JC let his hand run through Joey's hair, playing lightly over his
neck.  He felt warm lips on his left nipple, while Joey moved his right
hand up to rub the other one.  A moan escaped JC as he felt Joey bite
slightly down, it was impossible to lie still anymore. Keeping his hand
entangled in Joey's hair, JC let his other hand caress Joey's shoulders.

Determinantly Joey pushed JC's T-shirt up. JC raised his arms and let Joey
take the item of clothing off him. With his hair all messy from JC's hand
Joey smiled down at JC and gave him a light kiss on the mouth. Then he bent
down and placed his lips on JC's neck. This was feeling too good, and JC
knew if he was to say something, he would have to say it now. But he didn't
want this to end.

-Joey? he said. -Hmmm? Joey answered, busy with covering JC's neck and
shoulder with kisses. -Damn, that feels good! JC sighed. -But baby...are
we...are you ready for this? Joey stopped what he was doing and moved so he
could look JC in the eyes.  Softly he ran his fingers through JC's hair,
caressing his temple with his fingertips.  -I'm ready, he said. -When it
comes to being with you, I've been ready since forever.  I know you will
never hurt me, I want you to show me the way it's supposed to be.  His
words made JC smile. -Come here, he said, -I need to kiss you now.  Joey
obliged.

One deep, passionate kiss later, JC tugged at Joey's T-shirt. -Let's get
you out of this one, he mumbled against Joey's lips. Only breaking their
contact for a second Joey pulled the T-shirt over his head and threw it on
the floor. They embraced each other again, covering every exposed area of
skin in kisses. JC was going mad with desire, but wanted to take this
slow. And he was curious about Joey's actions, he let the other man take
control.

Joey was enjoying himself very much. This was kinda new to him, he never
knew that there were so many things to be done that felt this good. He
planned to discover every single one of JC's erogenous zones tonight and
pay thorough attention to every one of them. But he had to admit his
heartrate went considerably up as he let his hand slide down JC's stomach
until he reached the top of his boxers. This he'd had experience doing, but
this time was different. This time he wanted to do it, no one were forcing
him.

Joey had never thought that the feeling of his boyfriend hardening under
his touch would be so sexy. Teasingly he worked his fingers all over JC's
groin, causing little moans of pleasure from his lover. Just the thought
that he was doing this to JC, he was making him feel good, was an
incredible turn-on. Encouraged Joey let his hand slip under the waistband
of JC's underwear. -Oh Joey...JC whispered, drops of sweat were beginning
to form on his forehead.

Joey continued his slow, sweet caresses, mesmerized by the look of pleasure
and passion on JC's face. He wanted to explore this some more, he needed to
see what more he could do to give JC pleasure. A little nervous he pulled
down JC's boxers.  A both shy and naughty smile curled his lips upwards as
he undressed JC. This was a lot of fun.

Boldly he let his hand lock around the very evidence of how turned on JC
was, and heard JC's sharp intake of breath. The boxers was long gone. -I
need another kiss, Joey decided and let his lips meet JC's again. Their
tongues met eagerly, wrestling playfully with each other. Joey deepened the
kiss as he could feel JC meeting the movements made by his hand. The rhytm
got just a little bit quicker and JC was moaning into his mouth. JC's hands
were cupped around Joey's face while they kissed.

JC's body was shivering in utter delight. He couldn't believe that this was
finally happening. Joey and him. Together in every meaning of the
word. Joey's lips left his, JC opened his eyes. For a long moment they
looked into each other's eyes, feeling the connection to their very
souls. -I love you, JC said. -I love you too, Joey answered him. -And I
love doing this to you...

He couldn't believe that he was doing this, and that he was enjoying it as
much as he did. Now he wanted all of JC, everything his senses could
take. That included the taste of him to a very high degree. JC felt Joey
move down and had a feeling about what was about to happen. He still wasn't
sure about this, if they weren't jumping things here. But it all got lost
in an intense shock of pleasure as Joey took him in his mouth.

Joey was enjoying both making JC hot and having the same feelings himself.
Hearing JC moan and say his name and seeing his face show how much he liked
what Joey was doing to him, sent rushing tingles down Joey's
spine. Thinking that JC could do the same to him, made Joey blush. He loved
the taste of JC, he loved the feeling of running his tongue all over him.

JC was squirming on the bed, he felt flames of passion licking all over his
body.  This was perfect, they were perfect together. Joey was the only
thing in JC's mind, in his whole world. Right now he wanted to touch him,
he wanted to hold him. He wanted to him to keep doing what he did, he
wanted to do the same to him...  JC's thoughts was going a mile an hour as
he felt his body coming closer to the inevitable bliss caused by Joey's
hands and mouth.

He actually saw stars. And fireworks. It felt like he was going to pieces
in heartwrenching pleasure and love. So immensly lost in the sensations, JC
couldn't get a word out. He wanted to scream Joey's name, how much he
adored him over anything in this world, but could only muster a strained
whimper. Totally in awe over what Joey could do to him.

Just a little out of breath Joey sat back. JC laid still in the bed, next
to him. His eyes were closed and he was smiling this little, angelic
smile. The image of him and the sound of his moans still ringing in Joey's
ears was playing havoc on Joey's feelings.  Even though he was extremely
turned on and needed to taste more of JC, Joey was for now content with
just sitting there studying his lover.

JC opened his eyes and Joey felt his heart skip a beat when he met those
intense, crystal blue eyes. Quickly JC sat up and pulled Joey towards
him. -That was without a doubt the best experience in my life, ever! he
sighed. -I'm so in love with you, Joey, I'm starting to think I'm going a
little obsessive about you. His words made Joey smile. -Don't worry, he
cooed back, -I'm already obsessed about you, about us, about this...

Smilingly JC cuddled closer to Joey. -I don't think there exists words to
describe what you just made me feel. Amazing, incredible, outstanding,
ecstatic...they all seem too small, too weak. He looked up in Joey's
eyes. -I love you. The three small words told Joey everything he needed to
know.

They remained in that position for a while. Then Joey felt a warm hand
slipping down beneath them. Tenderly following his chest down on his
stomach, then going even more down. Before Joey could say anything, JC
captured his lips in a sweet kiss.  Teasing fingertips brushed over his
hips, trailing his upper thighs. Knowing what JC had in mind, Joey wrapped
his arms around him, loving the taste of JC's tongue in his mouth. His
underwear were gone before Joey even knew what JC was up to.

JC's other hand travelled around to Joey's back, making them become even
closer.  He let one finger run slowly down his boyfriend's strong erection,
loving the deep shivering breath the touch elicited. -I want you to make
love to me, he whispered into Joey's ear. Joey pulled away, he looked at
JC. -I have never...I'm kinda...well, I'm...  -I get the picture! JC said
with a little laugh. -And don't worry, we'll take it slow.  And nice. And
sexy...and hot. Joey relaxed again and leaned back into JC.

JC was reaching behind him, opening a drawer in the nightstand. He
collected some items and sat back up. As much as he didn't want to feel
that way, Joey wasn't sure about this. In one way, if they roles were
reversed, he would have been much more comfortable. Then he would know what
was going to happen, only that he didn't really know. Being with JC was
lightyears away from being with Jim. But doing this to JC...  He still
couldn't make himself use the term `making love', hurting him would kill
Joey.  And letting JC do that to him, letting somebody at all that close
again, scared the hell out of him still.

JC noticed that Joey had gone quiet. -Baby, JC asked. -You allright? -I'm
not sure, Joey mumbled. He know he was being stupid. If JC wanted him to do
this, it couldn't be that bad now, could it? Strong arms pulled him
tightly. -It isn't always like what you went through with Jim, JC said. -I
won't lie to you, there is a little pain at first, but what comes after
that... I promise you, it will be fantastic. And I also know that thinking
of me doing this to you, scares you, so I'm not going to. Am I making sense
at all here?

Joey thought a little. -Yeah, he said, -it all makes sense. It's just that
I'm still scared.  I'm gonna cause you pain. And I don't want that to
happen. And I also want to do what you want me to... -Hush, JC said softly
and kissed Joey on the lips. -You don't have to think so much about this,
just feel...and let me do the work.

His lips found Joey's again, in a slow, erotic kiss. JC's hand cupped
Joey's groin, making him even more ready. A tiny, tearing sound made Joey
shudder slightly, knowing that the moment he both wanted and dreaded came
closer. JC's hands were performing magic on his lower half. JC's mouth were
still on Joey's as his hands made them both ready and nearly drove Joey
wild with desire at the same time.

Feeling JC move closer to him, had Joey's heartbeat increasing to a pace
where he felt he was going to black out. But he couldn't keep his arms from
embracing JC, pulling him in even closer. JC's legs encircled his waist,
keeping them locked together.  >From there everything went by very
slowly. JC kept his promise of him doing all the work. Joey wasn't sure if
he would be able to move if he tried. He was holding his breath as JC let
them be joined.

Warmth. Friction. Pressure. Beating hearts, gasping breaths. Incredible
closeness.  Pleasure. Pain. More pleasure. JC was careful not to let the
pain he knew would come show. It would be gone soon enough. Second after
second went by, in the end JC felt Joey chest tightly against his
own. Lovingly he entangled his hands in Joey's hair, feeling his body
adjusting to Joey.

Joey looked up at him, desire smoldering in the depths of his brown eyes. A
passion unbelievably extreme treathened to swallow him whole, he wanted
them to be a part of each other forever. Was this was Jim was feeling when
he had done this to him?  Somehow Joey didn't think so. That had been all
about control and hurt. This was gentle and careful, yet the most powerful
experience he had ever had.  -What does it feel like? he whispered to JC,
needing to know what he was doing to his beloved.

-Perfect, JC whispered back. -I didn't know it could feel this strong, this
good.  What are you doing to me, Joey? How come that every time I'm near
you, my senses just can't get enough, that I'm never near enough? -I don't
know, Joey answered him.  -But I feel the same way. He felt JC's body
tremble slightly and he gave in to the urge to move. With a throaty moan of
raw pleasure JC dragged Joey with him, shifting so he was on bottom
now. -Please, he begged, his lips close to Joey's ear. -Take me, make love
to me.

JC's legs were still around his waist, willing him in deeper. Joey tried
his best to be careful, to take it slow, but he knew he was fighting a lost
cause. JC was moving underneath him, letting out small sounds of pleasure,
pleading with his lover to bring them both into ecstacy. JC's skin felt
damp and tasted salty under Joey's eager lips as he coated his neck and
shoulder in tiny kisses and nibbles. JC dug his fingers into Joey's back,
meeting his hips with his own for every thrust. They whispered small
declarations of love between moans and gasps, not even realising that the
words were out.

Release came too soon, and yet not soon enough. From the moment Joey felt
JC's body tightening up and felt him press into his body, there was no way
back.  The hot, silky feeling of JC's climax on their naked chests and
stomachs sparked him off, making him bite down on JC's shoulder, calling
his name.

JC embraced him with both arms and legs, holding him close. While a tidal
wawe of sensual pleasure swept them into an ocean of burning hot
satisfaction.they found themselves kissing each other. Not wanting to let
go, never ever letting go again...

Their breathing was the only thing heard in the room, no words needed to be
spoken.  Their hearts didn't need any words to display what love they held
for each other, they both already knew. Joey smiled sleepily as he thought
of what had just happened. He had made love to JC. He liked the way JC's
hand was gently stroking his back.  Feeling safe and loved he snuggled
closer, pretty sure that the nightmares were gone forever now. JC still
held him, together they drifted off to sleep, closer than any of them had
ever imagined they could be.