Date: Wed, 17 Jan 2001 19:16:59 -0500
From: Kathrine <storykath@operamail.com>
Subject: How Can You Love Me, chapter nineteen  (gay/celeb/boybands)

Legal disclaimer: not true. Made up by me. Don't read if you're not old
enough.

Author's note: anybody still reading this story? Sorry for the delay in
updates.
Hope you like this part. Back chapters at my site:
http://www.angelfire.com/boybands/KathFiction/Main.html
Love and looneytunes from Kat.

 - How Can You Love Me, chapter nineteen -

Somehow the days all flew by in a stream of furniture shopping, decorating and
a lot of postponed projects as they had a tendency to get distracted and
ending up doing something entirely different than the house. Chris got back
from Philadelphia with Allie and immedeately started planning the party. Allie
stayed with him, and promised that she would stop him if he got some really
outragous ideas. Somehow they didn't quite believe her.
Lance and Justin were just very happy and very in love and content with
playing house in secret.

At the night of the party, Joey was trying to figure out what to wear.
Standing in front of the closets, he could hear JC singing in the shower. He
had to smile as he realised what song JC was singing. "Unchained Melody," an
oldie but goldie. For a minute Joey thought about going back in the bathroom
to let JC knew that he was enjoying the song, but if he did he had a sneaky
feeling they both would get a little sidetracked if he did. So he went back to
wondering about what to wear. Discovering a pair of tight, black leatherpants
he placed them on the bed. They would look great on JC.

Five minutes later he had picked out a complete outfit for his boyfriend, and
still had no clue what to wear himself. JC came out of the bathroom, wearing a
towel around his waist, rubbing another towel over his wet hair. At the sight
of Joey still in nothing more than a pair of boxers, and staring into the
closets with a bewildered look, he started laughing.

"Sweetie, you're worse than a girl with this! Just pick something!"

"I can't!" Joey answered. "What do you think I have been trying to do all this
time? By the way, your clothes are on the bed..."

Coming over to him, JC placed his arms around Joey. "Go do your hair or
something, babe. If you're deciding what I'm wearing, and I think I spotted
that black leather pants over there...I get to choose your outfit."

Sending JC a suspicios look before he went into the bathroom, Joey told him:
"Nothing furry, ok? And I'm not wearing anything pink either..."

"Shoo," JC replied, throwing his towel at Joey. "I need to concentrate and
having you run around in here in next to nothing is distracting me. Now go
before I throw the other towel at you."

"And that was supposed to scare me?" Joey asked. Going past JC he snatched the
towel JC wore around his waist, away. Stopping and faking a frown, he added:
"Now I'm getting distracted..." JC didn't answer, instead he grabbed hold of
Joey and made them both tumble onto the bed.

"I thought you were going to find clothes for me," Joey commented innocently
as he felt JC's fingers slip in under the waistband of his boxers. "Not take
off the ones I'm already wearing..."

"That can wait," JC mumbled, kissing him softly. "I'll do that after the
shower later."

"But we both just showered," Joey teased, letting JC flip him over on his
back.

"Trust me, we'll need it," JC answered, straddling Joey's legs. Smiling down
at him, he continued: "I intend to make you both sweaty and hot, babe..."

*****

The party was well on it's way when Lance parked his car outside Chris' house.
Listening to the loud music and mix of voices and laughter, Lance had an
amused look on his face. "Damn, I didn't know we knew this many people!" he
told Justin.

Putting his hand in Lance's Justin looked up at the entrance. "I didn't know
we knew this many loud people! Muct be Chris' friends..."

Right then the man in question came out. "Are you two going to stay out here,
or are you going to come in and be social?"

"We're coming," Justin answered, smiling. "How was your trip home, Chris?"

"Excellent," the darker man smiled back. Allie heard their voices and joined
them on the porch. After hugging both Justin and Lance she hooked her arm in
Chris'.

"You two just look so cute!" Lance told them.

"Practically sickingly," Allie said seriously, batting her eyelashes at Chris.
He pulled her hair in return.

"Where's Joe and Josh?" Justin asked, as they went inside. "They're not here
yet?"

"No," Chris answered from the bar. "They should be here any minute unless," he
smirked, "something else came up."

"And that would be none of your business," Allie told him. "Now make me my
drink."

"Yes, ma'am." Chris handed her a drink that Justin was sure would glow in the
dark if they turned the lights out. Fascinated he stared at it.

"What is in that thing?"

"A little of this, a little of that," Chris said loftily. "You want one?"

"No thanks," Justin backed away, holding his hands up. "Last time I tried one
of your special drinks I ended up running half naked around in the backyard,
singing "Look at me, I'm Sandra D"."

"I know!" Chris chuckled.

"I know you know," Justin came back. "You videotaped the whole freakin'
thing."

"Now that I have to see," Allie said, taking a small drink of the green
liquid. Smiling at Chris, she added: "baby, this tastes great!"

"I'm feeling daring tonight," Lance decided. "I'll try the green stuff.
Justin, what are you having?"

"I'll have a beer," Justin replied, leaning past Chris to get a bottle.
"Something Chris hasn't tampered with..." Chris made a face at him, then he
went back to mixing Lance's drink.

A little while later the two remaining bandmembers showed up, also hand in
hand.

"Hey guys!" Allie waved. "What took you so long?"

Joey picked her up and spun her around before setting her down again. "well,
you know, sometimes JC gets a little frisky, and..."

"And don't listen to a thing he says," JC interrupted. Winking at Joey he got
a wide smile in return. After another shower, this one a shared one, he had
picked out a pair of dark grey loosefitting khakis and a tightfitting black
T-shirt For his boyfriend to wear. He couldn't wait to take it all off again.

"Ahm, Josh," Lance said, coming up behind them. "If you don't want people to
know what you've been up to, then you better not leave behind a hickey the
size of Texas on Joey's neck..." He had the pleasure of watching both JC and
Joey blush.

"Then where do you suggest that I do leave them?" JC replied as soon as he had
gotten his compusure back.

"Do as I do," Lance grinned, "leave them where nobody sees, like right below
the..."
He didn't get any further before Justin kissed him.

"That's the best way I have to make him shut up," Justin explained afterwards
to his laughing friends. "And it's fun too." Taking the glass out of Lance's
hand, Justin tasted it. "Chris, this is almost pure vodka!"

"It is?" Chris asked, wide-eyed. "You mean that I mixed up the soda and the
liqour again!?"

"Mix up, my ass," Justin snorted. "You're trying to get us all drunk, that's
what you're doing."

"Damn, girl," Chris whispered loudly to Allie. "I think he's on to me..."

Patting him affectinately on the head, Allie giggled. "But he is right, honey.
And I haven't even said anything about your videocamera which is hidden below
the bar..."

"Tattletail," Chris mumbled, but couldn't stop his smile from showing.

The hours went by, Allie was making a round to make sure everbody was enjoying
themselves when she saw a familiar figure standing on the terrasse on the
back. Quietly slipping out of the back door, she joined Joey on the terrasse.

"Hey," she said, "everything ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he answered, smiling a little. "Just needed some air, that's
all."

"I see," Allie said, sitting down in the large hammock. "Come on, sit down
with me, Joe. I haven't talked with you in ages, not properly anyway. Where's
JC, by the way?"

"Down in the game room, playing pool with some guys," Joey explained. "Where
have you hidden Chris?"

"My no-good boyfriend and his no-good two friends are still at the bar, having
a contest about who can make the most revolting drink. The loser has to drink
the winner's drink."

"Which means that we'll probably have all three of them running around in
their underwear singing old film songs," Joey finished for her. "Well, at
least I know where the video camera is."

She laughed a little. "Yeah, Chris would do something like that... But that's
part of why I love him. The way he doesn't care what other people think..."

"That's our shorty for you," Joey said, absentmindly, looking out in the dark
garden.

"Do you still think about what happened between you?" Allie asked carefully.
"The fight you had?"

Turning to look directly at her Joey met a direct blue gaze. Sitting down next
to her, he took a deep breath. "Sometimes," he admitted, "I do think about it.
I mean, I'm over it, I really am, everything is ok again between Chris and
me... But still..."

"It hurt that he didn't believe you at first," Allie said.

"Yeah," Joey said, looking at his hands. "It hurt a lot. It took a lot out of
me just  telling someone, at that moment when Chris said he didn't believe me,
I just wanted to die.
I couldn't even be mad at him, I just wanted to curl up somewhere and die."

Getting to his feet again, Joey ran a hand through his hair. "And now it bugs
me that I can't let it go. I love Chris, he is my best friend. And I am not
mad at him, I don't hold any grudges. For christ sakes, it nearly broke my
heart to see the state he was in later..."

"Are you mad at him for not believing or are you mad at yourself for telling
someone about what Jim did to you?" Allie asked calmly.

Joey stopped, his back turned to her. Slowly he turned around. "What did you
say?"

"What is this really about, Joey?" Allie continued. "You're acting just like
before around Chris, I can see myself that whatever went on between the two of
you is over and done with. But you can't let it go, because what he said when
you told him, the day you told him... I don't think this is about Chris at
all, you weren't supposed to tell anyone about Jim. Even this long after there
is still a part of you that wants to keep the secret."

"You're good," Joey told her, with reluctant admiration.

"Have you ever told anybody the full story, Joey?" Allie said, surprising him
again.

"Sure I have. I told JC, and Chris knows... I think Justin and Lance knows
most of it too, but I didn't tell them myself..."

"All of it? Every scary, embarrasing litle detail?"

"Well..."

She had gotten to her feet herself and walked up to him. "It doesn't go away
before you want it too, Joey. Pushing it back into your mind and trying to
forget about it only makes it come back again, even how good your life is now.
You've probably heard this before, but you should see someone professionally."

"No," Joey quickly answered, getting a closed look on his face she definetely
didn't like.
"I'm not going to sit and discuss with some stranger about what happened to
me."

"Then what about me?" Allie suggested. "I'm a licensed therapist and I am not
a stranger. Everything you tell me stays with me. You decide how we do this,
you can come to my office, we can have the sessions here or at your place...
It's up to you."

It wasn't difficult to tell that he was thinking it over, but the closed look
on his face kept her from determining what his thoughts were.

"Would I have to tell anyone about it?"

"That's entirely up to you. I do recommend that you tell JC. I am not going to
tell Chris if you don't want me to."

"If we did this... I don't want anybody to know. I might tell Josh, but I
decide when. And we meet at your office."

"Deal. Why don't you come down to my office on Monday and we'll work out a
scedule for you?
You've got some time off before you're going on tour again." Allie would have
liked more than a nod in response, but at least she got one. "Monday it is,
then," she answered, "Now let's go back inside before they start to worry."

*****

It was early morning. The sun was climbing over the horizont, spreading not so
welcome warmth and light over the sleepy group of people in the livingroom.

Chris was sitting on the floor, leaning his back to the couch where Justin and
Lance was cuddling. Allie was laying in his lap. Every now and then she would
pinch him lightly to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep. Incredibly enough
everybody had kept there clothes on, at least in public, and singing had been
kept on a non-embarrasing level. On the bigger couch JC was laying, Joey sound
asleep on top of him.

"That was a nice party," Allie sighed, taking Chris' hand. "Don't you guys
think so?"

"The best," Justin giggled, batting Lance's hand away from his hair. Lance
moved his hand to tickle Justin's side, eliciting more giggles.

"I'd say so," Chris looked up at them. "I do not wanna know what you were
doing in the upstairs bathroom though." Now Justin swatted him.

"I had fun," JC said, resting his hand on Joey's neck. "Think Joey had fun
too. He was a bit more quiet than usual, but I guess that's inevitable..."

"He'll be fine," Allie assured him, "you'll both be fine. Just give it time."
She wished she could tell him about what had happened earlier, but that was up
to Joey to share that with his boyfriend when he felt the time was right.

"We'll be fine," JC repeated, running his fingers through Joey's hair. They
had to be, they loved each other. Outside the sun came up and golden light
spilled into the room. On the couch Justin and Lance were asleep in each
other's arms. Chris and Allie were snuggling together on the floor. They would
all be fine.